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  • "You're a Hollywood action hunk, Mort," I called after him, hurdling fallen logs. "You have zero applicable life skills. You'll never survive out here!"

    "I've played MacGuyver-esque roles!" Mort yelled back, plowing through dense underbrush. "I'll improvise tools of survival from animal bones and peat moss!"

    "MacGuyver-esque tools of survival don't work, Mort. They did an episode of MythBusters on it."

    --Cowboy Cruncher: The Unforgivable Scientific Legacy of Bucky Laroo

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