@Nietzsche. That was MY opinion i never said anorexcia is not deadly aswell, I just honestly think it would because it is annoying as hell to eat then purge 24/7 when deep down inside you don't want to.. I did not mean to offend you if i did.
I want my bulimia back....I was purging too much too often..ive competly lost my ability to self induce vomiting...i resorted to drinking chemicals to make myself throw up, i ended up having to go to the hospital. I refuse food now...i have for the past over a month...when i eat its a veggie every other day or so. I just want to be able to purge again....Id give anything for that back.
@blackcat88able Are you kidding me? Why does it always come down to an "ana" vs "mia" debate? BOTH can kill and BOTH destroy your life. The weight and eating is a symptom...not the disease. I have had anorexia for 18 years now....over half my life. I have never had bulimia, but i doubt either is easier to deal with. I don't know how one is "better" then the other. At the core the issues that initiated either disease are similar, if not the same.
Hiaa x Just 2 let you know,I can understand that you would do anything 2 get control back in2 ur life when it comes to food, but anorexics dont have control either.....We don't 'chose' not 2 eat food.We want food!We want 2 eat! Starvin urself isnt fun,and it defintly isnt a choice.When we r @ our illest,we have no control,our eating disorder does.And most anorexics go thro a time when they binge/purge or just binge aswell,so if u wr anorexic,u wold proberly still hav 2 face te binge/purge cycle.
You need help. You really don't want to die. I know it's hard and it seems like no one understands, but it gets so much better. Please please get help. Do you want to die or not? The choice is yours.
I got help, it gets sooo much better. I was 16 and 60 pounds. You don't want to die, you are so young. Please please get help. I am begging you! I am now healthy and much much happier :)
hi sweetie <3 i know this video is a year and a half old. I just wanted to let you know though I'm here for you <3 I'm bulimic/recovering/trying to recover and completely understand you <3
@kborys2 oh I know. I have had my ednos periods through my life, mostly bulimia though. Both is hell, and in my ednos phase I want my mia/just shut my brain up, in my mia phase I want my ednos phase.
Hey, hang on - is that Ludivico Einaudi playing in the background? My goodness I LOVE YOU, he is such an amazing pianist, i listen to him allll the time.
Anyway - I know what you mean, well, ok i don't, but i can sympathize and understand. I'm glad i have anorexia over bulima, if i really had to have one (obviously i wish that in a perfect world I didn't have any sorta ED), because of having the weight with mia and not with ana. But ana is still crappy nonetheless... *sigh*
@littlenatnatz101 OMG he is definitely one of my favourite ! i sometimes send myself to sleep with him playing in my earphones! Thank you for sympathising! i do think that any ED is a crap one to have and i don't deny that ana is just as hard - but personally from a 'self control' point of view i'd have preferred it! Hope you are ell, thanks for watching/supporting an SORRY it took so long to reply haha! <3 <3 *love*
@lilmover :O SAME!! I used to listen to Classic FM all night when i was about... between the ages of like, 8 and 11? just coz, i dunno, couldnt get to sleep otherwise XD but yeah! And thats how i found out about him, I first heard Nefeli like at about 1am, and had no idea what it was called, and for months this was like this *phantom music* that i adored. Then i looked it up on the classic fm playlist and found him ^_^ I love Due Tramonti, and Eden Roc - just two of my favourites!
I know this video is over a year old, but I just want you to know you are absolutely stunningly gorgeous. I am 13 years old and struggle on and off with anorexia. The one thought that propels me to stop trying to lose weight is the thought of how I want to be able to give birth to a healthy baby when I am older. Please, please do not give up. I am being brutally honest- you are probably the most gorgeous and pretty and beautiful girl I have ever seen. You are also absolutely beautiful inside. xx
@menaroma Hello dea! im really sorry that i have not replied to this wonderfully sweet message before now! sometimes comments get past me! Thank you so much for your very warm words! you are just lovely! how are you doing now? I do hope that your vision of what you want for the future and healthy children has kept you going - we truly deserve it - all my love xxxx
Both are painful in their own way...unless you've been through both you don't really understand. The only "good thing" about being AN is the thinnness...it's a little easier to convince yourself you're not fat when the scale says you're anything but. I promise you though...you still see fat, more of it actually, if that's possible.
Other thing about AN is it's very very physically painful when you get down to a low enough weight, you're ALWAYS cold, and feel CONSTANTLY on edge (Cont)
@beautywithin85 physiologically being very underweight is much more painful than bulimia well over 80% of the time (yes I've pushed my stomach out of place and yes that was painful...but I actually got relief from the pain eventually). The thing about bulimia though is that you get lost, discouraged much more easily, you don't have that goal or you're not meeting it on a regualr basis, and nobody knows that's the hardest part.for me AN was about survival and Bulimia was about submitting to pain.
I also wish I was anorexic, I used to be anorexic but now I'm just fat, I don't really binge but I overeat sometimes and well I purge sometimes normal meals. Though I haven't purged in about a month but I am so fat I miss my anorexic self.
This was the first video of yours I ever watched. Just read back on my comment I left :')! Still stands, you're so lovely! & I DO wish you all the luck in the world :)! But Im so glad that Ive had the chance to get to know you! Who'd of thought it, 8 months on and Id be classing you as one of my friends :')! youtube family (L)! <3 you Jaycee! xoxox
I know this is an old video now, but I suppose I'm where you were then- trying to lose weight through not eating/bingeing/purging but still wanting to get better, and wishing I had the control of an anorexic...ahhhhh not exactly a fun place to be right now. But I love your positivety. It makes me think there might be hope. I hope you're doing well lovely.
@raganmae gah i really know that feeling and it's something that i've struggled with for a long time. its like basically you want recovery but you are trying all the ways of 'recovery' that avoid losing weight. its exhausting! i realised i didn't want recovery i just didn't want to be bulimic. i've also realised recently that for recovery i HAVE to let go of weight gain fear, tis the only way. i've been doing SO much better all because of letting go of the intense fear.
@raganmae there is definitely hope. . your a really sweet girl and deserve to eel like you can be self nurturing, and forgiving with yourself. i always think o the 8 year old me who had so many hopes and dreams, and if i could o back and look after her the way she deserved to be treated, what would i do?
Aww (L) You seem soo soo lovely! I wish you all the luck in the world!! I can relate to quite a few things you said theree! Stay strong, keep smilinggg and keep up the positive attitude! Lots of love, el xoxox
@Achildatheartforever thanks sooo much for watching :D im glad you relate. . . . although sorry that you do at the same time, no-one deserves to go through all of this agh!! hope your well petal, heaps of love xxx
I'm really really sorry but being a girl who drastically restricts food I have to say it's not worth it. Today I am SOO hungry and yet I still can't eat. I don't think it matters what ED you have, they are all equally terrible. Sorry, I hope NOONE is offended by my thoughts I guess I'm just really struggeling tody. Sorry.
@OhhaiVogter Who on earth do you think you are? You are pathetic, immature and heartless. Why don't you take your attitude elsewhere. Childish, hurtful person.
Only just getting to this video now, sorry! Great update. I kinda have a response to this...will try and do a video but will be middle of next week before I have chance probably. It's good that you are focused and taking baby steps towards recovery. I'm proud of you and here for you. Love always xo
Hey hun, great video good to hear your feeling a tad better :D i agree with you with a bulimic wanting to be anorexic i think we want this due to the controls people who suffer with anorexia have. hope things are looking bright! :D xox
Thanks - and yes I haven't had much luck with NHS help either but I am lucky as I see a counsellor from a charity in my area - I hope you are able to keep strong and find someone to support you should you need it xx
Keep going - all the little steps you take will add up and you will look back and see how far you have come! I've been getting better for a few months but I've only just realised how far I have come as I took tiny steps all the way! I am not fully there yet but I have plans to return to education in September and hopefully from that I can overcome my anxiety and gain confidence to get myself a part time job!
Try to remember the ED will impact on your health & success so recovery is important x
@angelstar160 im so pleased to hear that you have too been getting better slowly, it gives me hope and i look forward to looking back and being proud of myself. Im proud of you for doing do well. thank you for your support, truly hope your feeling good and happy, xxxx
@lilmover Yes I feel so much better - I never thought it would be possible to come this far as I've been in a dark place for many years but it's slowly lifted and I can see a future now! It took me a long while to realise the eating disorder wasn't helping but now I am eating better other things don't seem that bad - I have had a great counsellor for the past 18 months though - I think support is very important to help you look at issues and understand yourself more!
@angelstar160 well lovely thats really quite inspiring, i wish i had a counsellor/ psychiatrist i have had the worst problems with the nhs with getting even outpatient help, hopefully if i keep trying i will get somewhere, i think it will really help, Congratulations on your success! keep it up your a great example x x x
I love to hear that you are doing better! You are very wise to be taking baby steps with little changes here and there. That is honestly the best way to do it and it worked for me! Don't lose sight of positive progress, taking little steps can make it seem like you are stuck in rut and nothing is changing, but trust me, keep with it, you will see with time :)
@bindiloo aww thanks petal, i think your right and your comments are really helpful, reminding me to be patient and know to keep going when i feel there is no progress. i tried to go 'cold turkey' so many time before and so i hope this approach will yield some more enduring results . . i hope your well, are you settled in your new home now? x x x
That's so great you are changing things up to be healthier. I was diagnosed bulimic about 2 years ago but honestly I think I have more of EDNOS...but I can totally relate to the desire to be anorexic instead...I keep thinking, if only I could just be thin, then things would be so much better...which I know is messed up, but I find myself being jealous of those girls that are anorexic and super thin...I hate ED...
@Eshrimpski yeah thats exactly how i feel a lot of the time, i appreciate you relating, and im sorry your struggling with ED. We need to stay strong despite these feeling huh? i hope your okay? xxx
hi beautiful girl, just wanted to congratulate you on your changes. no matter how small they are, that is awesome and i am so happy that you are doing and feeling somewhat better because of it. ♥ i clicked on your vid (other than cuz i love your vids :P) but because of the title. i have really been feeling this way lately..."wanting to be anorexic instead" feelings. i agree. i feel like there is more control with AN and i feel so jealous that i can't do that. i feel you and understand you there♥
@LiesBehindHazelEyes thanks soo much sweetie, your comments warm my little ticker! how are you doing? thanks for relating and understanding, means a great deal, however strong these 'i wish i was anorexic instead' feelings get, we need to stay focused huh, more to life babe, we can get there, love xxx
hi lovely friend, thanks for keeping us up w/ u. And you have the cutest smile! I wish I had dimples... Your "subtle positive steps" are really smart. I'm going to try to make some too. I went to the dentist today and now I want to brush my teeth everyday and try to floss some too (this was one hygiene thing that got lost in the chaos of not sleeping or eating or doing anything) I want to drink more water and less diet coke + I'm still trying to reduce binge size more frequently :)
@chihiro0 Hey petal! aww thank you for watching and commenting, hehe none has ever said that about my smile before *blushes* thank you! :D Yeah im trying to take it slow because i used to try going 'cold turkey' and it was just hopeless! i love your honesty, yeah i too wanna brush my teeth more! totally relate to you there dear :-s hope your well, smiles xxx
we just have to focus on the recovery side of that constant war, because thats the only road taking us anywhere. That is 100% the way to go though, make little changes, give your body and your mind time to adjust and slowly inch your way forward. I think thats where i go wrong, try to do it all at once and it sorta just backfires. You are an inspiration darl, i respect your clarity and strength so very much. much love xoxo M
@rescuelullaby Hi hon, thanks SOOO much for taking the time to watch and comment, so motivating! Thanks for relating, its nice to know people understand. Your right though, little steps and time, I went wrong there before, trying to do it all at once and getting nowhere but upset and frustrated! lol love you! hope your well! xxx
Lovely to see your face around here again! Hope your exams went okay, im just starting mine, first tomorrow eeek hehe. Ooh gosh you took the words right from my mouth, i get so fed up with bulimia, not that i want any type of eating disorder whatsoever, but its the control that i long for, i feel like if i had that, there wouldn't be this shame.However thats not the path to control or happiness for that matter, i know that, we both know that...continued
@CognitionSpeaks1 aww your so sweet, thank you! your support means sooo much, and comments like these really help me maintain forwards momentum, i hope your well xx
I totally have that cat teddy. It smells awful when u heat it up hahaha.
vic1vicious 1 day ago
@Nietzsche. That was MY opinion i never said anorexcia is not deadly aswell, I just honestly think it would because it is annoying as hell to eat then purge 24/7 when deep down inside you don't want to.. I did not mean to offend you if i did.
blackcat88able 1 week ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I want my bulimia back....I was purging too much too often..ive competly lost my ability to self induce vomiting...i resorted to drinking chemicals to make myself throw up, i ended up having to go to the hospital. I refuse food now...i have for the past over a month...when i eat its a veggie every other day or so. I just want to be able to purge again....Id give anything for that back.
XxXBrokenXxDreamsXx 2 weeks ago
OMIGOSH I KNOW! i eat like an anorexic if i have a sore throat or somethin, but i purge dinner my mom makes every night
AlicexEldridge 1 month ago
Comment removed
blackcat88able 1 month ago
@blackcat88able Are you kidding me? Why does it always come down to an "ana" vs "mia" debate? BOTH can kill and BOTH destroy your life. The weight and eating is a symptom...not the disease. I have had anorexia for 18 years now....over half my life. I have never had bulimia, but i doubt either is easier to deal with. I don't know how one is "better" then the other. At the core the issues that initiated either disease are similar, if not the same.
Nietzsche81 2 weeks ago
Hiaa x Just 2 let you know,I can understand that you would do anything 2 get control back in2 ur life when it comes to food, but anorexics dont have control either.....We don't 'chose' not 2 eat food.We want food!We want 2 eat! Starvin urself isnt fun,and it defintly isnt a choice.When we r @ our illest,we have no control,our eating disorder does.And most anorexics go thro a time when they binge/purge or just binge aswell,so if u wr anorexic,u wold proberly still hav 2 face te binge/purge cycle.
jammieapple 1 month ago
@dunnome11
You need help. You really don't want to die. I know it's hard and it seems like no one understands, but it gets so much better. Please please get help. Do you want to die or not? The choice is yours.
friend123441 2 months ago
@BeautifulBlondie1433
GET HELP.
I got help, it gets sooo much better. I was 16 and 60 pounds. You don't want to die, you are so young. Please please get help. I am begging you! I am now healthy and much much happier :)
friend123441 2 months ago
I'm 15 and way 62 lbs :(
BeautifulBlondie1433 2 months ago
@BeautifulBlondie1433 The same as my 8 year old son...if that puts things in perspective :( I hope you find the strength to go through treatment.
Nietzsche81 2 weeks ago
Stay strong xoxoxo
MsHawtDancer 2 months ago
hi sweetie <3 i know this video is a year and a half old. I just wanted to let you know though I'm here for you <3 I'm bulimic/recovering/trying to recover and completely understand you <3
iheartsjonas 2 months ago
I use to wish I was anorexic instead of bulimic...but then my eating disorder DID change...and it was hell.
kborys2 3 months ago
@kborys2 oh I know. I have had my ednos periods through my life, mostly bulimia though. Both is hell, and in my ednos phase I want my mia/just shut my brain up, in my mia phase I want my ednos phase.
Yapiej 2 months ago
@kborys2 its both living hell. ive been suffering from bulimia and anorexia for years and theyre both just horroble.
Honeylovesyou13 2 months ago
I know what you mean, and can relate to almost everything!
disorderedobsession 4 months ago 4
@disorderedobsession huggles! xxx
lilmover 4 months ago 3
Hey, hang on - is that Ludivico Einaudi playing in the background? My goodness I LOVE YOU, he is such an amazing pianist, i listen to him allll the time.
Anyway - I know what you mean, well, ok i don't, but i can sympathize and understand. I'm glad i have anorexia over bulima, if i really had to have one (obviously i wish that in a perfect world I didn't have any sorta ED), because of having the weight with mia and not with ana. But ana is still crappy nonetheless... *sigh*
littlenatnatz101 5 months ago
@littlenatnatz101 OMG he is definitely one of my favourite ! i sometimes send myself to sleep with him playing in my earphones! Thank you for sympathising! i do think that any ED is a crap one to have and i don't deny that ana is just as hard - but personally from a 'self control' point of view i'd have preferred it! Hope you are ell, thanks for watching/supporting an SORRY it took so long to reply haha! <3 <3 *love*
lilmover 4 months ago
@lilmover :O SAME!! I used to listen to Classic FM all night when i was about... between the ages of like, 8 and 11? just coz, i dunno, couldnt get to sleep otherwise XD but yeah! And thats how i found out about him, I first heard Nefeli like at about 1am, and had no idea what it was called, and for months this was like this *phantom music* that i adored. Then i looked it up on the classic fm playlist and found him ^_^ I love Due Tramonti, and Eden Roc - just two of my favourites!
littlenatnatz101 3 months ago
I know this video is over a year old, but I just want you to know you are absolutely stunningly gorgeous. I am 13 years old and struggle on and off with anorexia. The one thought that propels me to stop trying to lose weight is the thought of how I want to be able to give birth to a healthy baby when I am older. Please, please do not give up. I am being brutally honest- you are probably the most gorgeous and pretty and beautiful girl I have ever seen. You are also absolutely beautiful inside. xx
menaroma 8 months ago 3
@menaroma Hello dea! im really sorry that i have not replied to this wonderfully sweet message before now! sometimes comments get past me! Thank you so much for your very warm words! you are just lovely! how are you doing now? I do hope that your vision of what you want for the future and healthy children has kept you going - we truly deserve it - all my love xxxx
lilmover 4 months ago
Both are painful in their own way...unless you've been through both you don't really understand. The only "good thing" about being AN is the thinnness...it's a little easier to convince yourself you're not fat when the scale says you're anything but. I promise you though...you still see fat, more of it actually, if that's possible.
Other thing about AN is it's very very physically painful when you get down to a low enough weight, you're ALWAYS cold, and feel CONSTANTLY on edge (Cont)
beautywithin85 8 months ago
@beautywithin85 physiologically being very underweight is much more painful than bulimia well over 80% of the time (yes I've pushed my stomach out of place and yes that was painful...but I actually got relief from the pain eventually). The thing about bulimia though is that you get lost, discouraged much more easily, you don't have that goal or you're not meeting it on a regualr basis, and nobody knows that's the hardest part.for me AN was about survival and Bulimia was about submitting to pain.
beautywithin85 8 months ago
I also wish I was anorexic, I used to be anorexic but now I'm just fat, I don't really binge but I overeat sometimes and well I purge sometimes normal meals. Though I haven't purged in about a month but I am so fat I miss my anorexic self.
edpinkgurl 10 months ago
This was the first video of yours I ever watched. Just read back on my comment I left :')! Still stands, you're so lovely! & I DO wish you all the luck in the world :)! But Im so glad that Ive had the chance to get to know you! Who'd of thought it, 8 months on and Id be classing you as one of my friends :')! youtube family (L)! <3 you Jaycee! xoxox
Achildatheartforever 1 year ago
@Achildatheartforever aww you are too sweet! i love you heaps my dear. . . yeah its just awesome that we are making real friends via youtube xxxxxx
lilmover 1 year ago
What song is playing in the background? It's very beautiful!
whiteukulele 1 year ago
I also wish i was anorexic rather than a bulimic... I was anorexic then i turned bulimic... it sucks big time.
amyza 1 year ago 2
@threestrikes101 *gasps* no way!! wow! OMG we should sooooo meet for a cupa! small small world!
lilmover 1 year ago
I know this is an old video now, but I suppose I'm where you were then- trying to lose weight through not eating/bingeing/purging but still wanting to get better, and wishing I had the control of an anorexic...ahhhhh not exactly a fun place to be right now. But I love your positivety. It makes me think there might be hope. I hope you're doing well lovely.
raganmae 1 year ago
@raganmae gah i really know that feeling and it's something that i've struggled with for a long time. its like basically you want recovery but you are trying all the ways of 'recovery' that avoid losing weight. its exhausting! i realised i didn't want recovery i just didn't want to be bulimic. i've also realised recently that for recovery i HAVE to let go of weight gain fear, tis the only way. i've been doing SO much better all because of letting go of the intense fear.
hope your okay sweetie x
lilmover 1 year ago
@raganmae there is definitely hope. . your a really sweet girl and deserve to eel like you can be self nurturing, and forgiving with yourself. i always think o the 8 year old me who had so many hopes and dreams, and if i could o back and look after her the way she deserved to be treated, what would i do?
xxx
lilmover 1 year ago
My housemate has that exact same duvet cover!
I'm so sorry about your dad.
Good luck with everything, hun. Be kind to yourself xxx
EdieAlyss 1 year ago
your accent is so lovely!
keep fighting.
TheWinterHeat 1 year ago
Cool accent!What part of the UK are you from?
beatlehighlander 1 year ago
@beatlehighlander hey, thanks! :D i'm from Lincolnshire, east midlands:D
lilmover 1 year ago
Aww (L) You seem soo soo lovely! I wish you all the luck in the world!! I can relate to quite a few things you said theree! Stay strong, keep smilinggg and keep up the positive attitude! Lots of love, el xoxox
Achildatheartforever 1 year ago
@Achildatheartforever thanks sooo much for watching :D im glad you relate. . . . although sorry that you do at the same time, no-one deserves to go through all of this agh!! hope your well petal, heaps of love xxx
lilmover 1 year ago
I'm really really sorry but being a girl who drastically restricts food I have to say it's not worth it. Today I am SOO hungry and yet I still can't eat. I don't think it matters what ED you have, they are all equally terrible. Sorry, I hope NOONE is offended by my thoughts I guess I'm just really struggeling tody. Sorry.
fluterify 1 year ago
Comment removed
LauraJayyEss 1 year ago
Comment removed
LauraJayyEss 1 year ago
Comment removed
sackboymoore 1 year ago
keep going dude........Believe xx
sackboymoore 1 year ago
By the look of you, we wish you were anorexic too, ugly bitch.
OhhaiVogter 1 year ago
@OhhaiVogter Who on earth do you think you are? You are pathetic, immature and heartless. Why don't you take your attitude elsewhere. Childish, hurtful person.
LauraJayyEss 1 year ago
Only just getting to this video now, sorry! Great update. I kinda have a response to this...will try and do a video but will be middle of next week before I have chance probably. It's good that you are focused and taking baby steps towards recovery. I'm proud of you and here for you. Love always xo
kuki1308 1 year ago
@kuki1308 thanks babe, look forward to it!:D but defo no pressure or rush for it hon, hope that this week is a bit easier on you xxxx
lilmover 1 year ago
Hey hun, great video good to hear your feeling a tad better :D i agree with you with a bulimic wanting to be anorexic i think we want this due to the controls people who suffer with anorexia have. hope things are looking bright! :D xox
xoxhugablekissesxox 1 year ago
@xoxhugablekissesxox thanks for relating lovely lady xx x x x
lilmover 1 year ago
@xoxhugablekissesxox I agree with you! x
GiNbO91 1 year ago
Thanks - and yes I haven't had much luck with NHS help either but I am lucky as I see a counsellor from a charity in my area - I hope you are able to keep strong and find someone to support you should you need it xx
angelstar160 1 year ago
@angelstar160 thank you! keep well xx
lilmover 1 year ago
your doing really well! its a shame people dont understand, its not as simple as just eat etc keep up the good work! xxx
covblazebabe21 1 year ago
@covblazebabe21 Thank you!!! really appreciate that xxx
lilmover 1 year ago
Keep going - all the little steps you take will add up and you will look back and see how far you have come! I've been getting better for a few months but I've only just realised how far I have come as I took tiny steps all the way! I am not fully there yet but I have plans to return to education in September and hopefully from that I can overcome my anxiety and gain confidence to get myself a part time job!
Try to remember the ED will impact on your health & success so recovery is important x
angelstar160 1 year ago
@angelstar160 im so pleased to hear that you have too been getting better slowly, it gives me hope and i look forward to looking back and being proud of myself. Im proud of you for doing do well. thank you for your support, truly hope your feeling good and happy, xxxx
lilmover 1 year ago
@lilmover Yes I feel so much better - I never thought it would be possible to come this far as I've been in a dark place for many years but it's slowly lifted and I can see a future now! It took me a long while to realise the eating disorder wasn't helping but now I am eating better other things don't seem that bad - I have had a great counsellor for the past 18 months though - I think support is very important to help you look at issues and understand yourself more!
angelstar160 1 year ago
@angelstar160 well lovely thats really quite inspiring, i wish i had a counsellor/ psychiatrist i have had the worst problems with the nhs with getting even outpatient help, hopefully if i keep trying i will get somewhere, i think it will really help, Congratulations on your success! keep it up your a great example x x x
lilmover 1 year ago
I love to hear that you are doing better! You are very wise to be taking baby steps with little changes here and there. That is honestly the best way to do it and it worked for me! Don't lose sight of positive progress, taking little steps can make it seem like you are stuck in rut and nothing is changing, but trust me, keep with it, you will see with time :)
bindiloo 1 year ago
@bindiloo aww thanks petal, i think your right and your comments are really helpful, reminding me to be patient and know to keep going when i feel there is no progress. i tried to go 'cold turkey' so many time before and so i hope this approach will yield some more enduring results . . i hope your well, are you settled in your new home now? x x x
lilmover 1 year ago
@lilmover lol, yes we are settled in the house, just trying to acquire some small things still but we love it :)
bindiloo 1 year ago
That's so great you are changing things up to be healthier. I was diagnosed bulimic about 2 years ago but honestly I think I have more of EDNOS...but I can totally relate to the desire to be anorexic instead...I keep thinking, if only I could just be thin, then things would be so much better...which I know is messed up, but I find myself being jealous of those girls that are anorexic and super thin...I hate ED...
Eshrimpski 1 year ago
@Eshrimpski yeah thats exactly how i feel a lot of the time, i appreciate you relating, and im sorry your struggling with ED. We need to stay strong despite these feeling huh? i hope your okay? xxx
lilmover 1 year ago
@lilmover I'm hanging in there. :-) I probably should find a therapist and/or dietician, but keep thinking I'm FINE...but then again, don't we all...
Eshrimpski 1 year ago
@Eshrimpski yeah me too! nhs (uk health service) have been hopeless getting me help, im thinking ill just have to pay for it! hugs x
lilmover 1 year ago
hi beautiful girl, just wanted to congratulate you on your changes. no matter how small they are, that is awesome and i am so happy that you are doing and feeling somewhat better because of it. ♥ i clicked on your vid (other than cuz i love your vids :P) but because of the title. i have really been feeling this way lately..."wanting to be anorexic instead" feelings. i agree. i feel like there is more control with AN and i feel so jealous that i can't do that. i feel you and understand you there♥
LiesBehindHazelEyes 1 year ago
@LiesBehindHazelEyes thanks soo much sweetie, your comments warm my little ticker! how are you doing? thanks for relating and understanding, means a great deal, however strong these 'i wish i was anorexic instead' feelings get, we need to stay focused huh, more to life babe, we can get there, love xxx
lilmover 1 year ago
hi lovely friend, thanks for keeping us up w/ u. And you have the cutest smile! I wish I had dimples... Your "subtle positive steps" are really smart. I'm going to try to make some too. I went to the dentist today and now I want to brush my teeth everyday and try to floss some too (this was one hygiene thing that got lost in the chaos of not sleeping or eating or doing anything) I want to drink more water and less diet coke + I'm still trying to reduce binge size more frequently :)
chihiro0 1 year ago
@chihiro0 Hey petal! aww thank you for watching and commenting, hehe none has ever said that about my smile before *blushes* thank you! :D Yeah im trying to take it slow because i used to try going 'cold turkey' and it was just hopeless! i love your honesty, yeah i too wanna brush my teeth more! totally relate to you there dear :-s hope your well, smiles xxx
lilmover 1 year ago
2)
we just have to focus on the recovery side of that constant war, because thats the only road taking us anywhere. That is 100% the way to go though, make little changes, give your body and your mind time to adjust and slowly inch your way forward. I think thats where i go wrong, try to do it all at once and it sorta just backfires. You are an inspiration darl, i respect your clarity and strength so very much. much love xoxo M
rescuelullaby 1 year ago
@rescuelullaby Hi hon, thanks SOOO much for taking the time to watch and comment, so motivating! Thanks for relating, its nice to know people understand. Your right though, little steps and time, I went wrong there before, trying to do it all at once and getting nowhere but upset and frustrated! lol love you! hope your well! xxx
lilmover 1 year ago
Lovely to see your face around here again! Hope your exams went okay, im just starting mine, first tomorrow eeek hehe. Ooh gosh you took the words right from my mouth, i get so fed up with bulimia, not that i want any type of eating disorder whatsoever, but its the control that i long for, i feel like if i had that, there wouldn't be this shame.However thats not the path to control or happiness for that matter, i know that, we both know that...continued
rescuelullaby 1 year ago
Missed your pretty face! <3 You have a strong will. You know what you need to do, keep doing, and lessen if you feel you're not ready to stop.
xxx!
CognitionSpeaks1 1 year ago
@CognitionSpeaks1 aww your so sweet, thank you! your support means sooo much, and comments like these really help me maintain forwards momentum, i hope your well xx
lilmover 1 year ago
I´m so proud of you, you're strong and i know that you'll continue doing well. Remember only wish to be healthy!!! XOXO
psicogirl84 1 year ago
@psicogirl84 Thank you petal! xxx
lilmover 1 year ago