Zero Punctuation: iPhone Games

[Klibble2212]

well mars is a rather nice vacation place for us who dont have iphones :P

[HaseotheKing]

every easily might i say.

[2006JAD2006]

I occasionally catch myself talking like yahtzee after watching a few episodes in a row... and i love it

[shadowhexogram]

I don't really know what sort of person this makes me but I am terribly unimpressed with the games that come out for the iphone and the like. Even if these games are for when one is sitting on the john or at some lobby room waiting for whatever I'd rather have just about anything else to entertain myself with. or take a nap. Those are fun.

[MisterPeople25]

I actually had the "One bird to kill all the piggies, and tear down all the buildings and only get one star."

[PsychoticSnake]

@MisterPeople25 But you didn't erect a monument to your fallen comrades?

[MisterPeople25]

@PsychoticSnake Sadly, I didn't. Maybe thats why I got 1 FREAKING STAR! AAAGH!

[JohnnyMarsBar]

i haz a nokia

[Haloister]

Well Yahtzee breathing on mars is not as hard as you'd think. All I had to do was eat beef pies and that seemed to work, still wondering how it did.

[nightmarebeast89]

oh i breath on mars thanks to the cati with a fear of robots

[whocares2kill]

I have a plant in my lungs so I just hold my breath

[ShadowNny]

2:11

It's quite fun in a "Referencing that Angry Birds totally ripped off Crush the Castle in all but characters" kind of way.

[killthemallism]

recyclable air from the sighs of weary children at supermarkets bwa ha ha ha

[xXB3NIESXx]

TEMPLE RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[TheDestroyerComics]

3:38 is my favorite part!

[KatamariParadox]

Yeah, that'll teach SEGA. How dare you have cutscenes in your modern game when that's the standard. For Christ's sake, at least there are only a handful of them. Yahtzee, your unreasonably high standards may be what make you popular, but your calls on what to unfairly bash or not makes you seem rather like a pretentious prick sometimes.

[punkcanuck69]

Cat + internet  = Youtube

ROFL

[SilimsLetsPlays]

watching this while playing Fruit Ninja on my Android phone = win.

[LightningNC]

Fish plus logic equals octipus?  That's not logic, that's...

Holy shit.

We have finally found something at which Karl Pilkington would be an unrivaled god among men.

[GatekeeperAidan]

At least Android game developers don't have to take a cock up the ass.

Granted, they don't really make money either, because they don't get the mob of Apple whores, but I'd consider it a fair trade.

[Akamisago]

A lot of Water and a lot of plants, mostly those that can survive in the desert.

[javalavadingdonglolz]

cat + interwebs = youtube? nononono soft porn + internet + cat = youtube

[PsTwoKnight]

Hydroponics

[bsmb98]

I'm An Idiot!!!

(NOT)

[bsmb98]

They Should Do Pocket Frogs Too!

[HellScyth]

Anaerobic respiration and recycling my farts is working so far...

[Caboose039]

There's an app on my Kindle Fire and Droid 2 that uses photosyntheses to power itself and make air. It impresses the martian whores.

[SDReaper2009]

I breath my own f***s... sorry, "PHLATULENTS." st***d politically correct bas*ar*s

[GreenLanturn93]

FUCK FRUIT!!1!!!1!eleven

[joe2501echo]

It's hard to operate a phone when you'r digits are made from metal and rubber. The drivers also take some time to get used to.

[Zack0]

Cat on internet makes Youtube? XD Hahahaha

[bpfoley89]

You're a ninja, fruit is flying up in front of you an- FUCK FRUIT!

[Mrkillionare777]

Cat + Internet = Youtube

lol

[MinecraftKid50]

Y U NO DO THE 3D SHOOTY ADVENTURY GAMES?

[Cat0Pirate]

I breathe on mars with....I have no fucking clue, Not with a I-Phone thats for damn sure

[femmeamor]

Well, with years of conditioning and gene therapy I've managed to develop the capability to create my own oxygen from the anaerobic photosynthesis of solar radiation. And that good sirs is how I breathe on Mars.

[jackinator00]

@bradlahsheelds if i could, I would thumbs up your comment

[Ketorulz]

You people need to understand that Australia actually NEEDS smartphone development to revive gaming. Sure, everywhere else in the world, it's no big deal, but Australia lost several gaming companies and there's really only two big ones: Wicked Witch and Blue Ant Studios, with Tru Blu Entertainment being the big publisher! Several big iPhone games have been made here, and earned millions! So saying "fuck iPhone" can't be applied here, it's actually required to afford game development here!

[keverman804]

fuck iphone

[TheGeneralCritic]

I agree. FUCK FRUIT!

[joshp9690]

I'll stick to Android.

[BrandurJustinussen]

@joshp9690 They're both terrible.

[UCMGTWOClan]

Thumbs up if your watching this on a I pod touch

[bradlahsheelds]

@UCMGTWOClan Well ya can't thumbs up comments if ya are, can ya?

[MrZombieHazard]

I was swallowing a cookie and I got to the bit about the humpback whale... I almost choked

[MegaJesusFucker]

Pear pie? sounds awesome

[OneLaggyMotherfucker]

It's actually quite easy up here. I've lived here for so long that my lungs are just big rebreathers so Mars is wuite nice. Escept when rusty air gets in my cornflakes and on my porno-mags.

[Toycey123]

iBone is a Trombone app.

[Meepmaster1234]

The idea of cat + internet = youtube is probably the funniest thing I've heard all week.

[snckpop22]

Have any of you played Superbrothers?

[mrbigman13bb]

I worked for microsoft..iPhones are like the bane of the company

[gunslingerspartan]

well I have a terraformer, but a SHIT!! plotline had it destroyed and three years later I finally went back and shined the magic flash light on it three years later

[AN0TH3RK1d]

well to breath on mars you breath through you butt

[LazyMan9000]

I mostly absorb oxygen through large plastic tubes I shoot off into the Earth's atmosphere from my base here on Mars. Worth it to not own a iPhone.

[MizfitZer0]

@LazyMan9000 iPhone is awesome, I have never looked back in 3 years.

[LazyMan9000]

@MizfitZer0 - Says you.

[TheTelenation]

I don't have an iPhone . . . i took an oxygen tank with a plant in it with me >.>

[TheFullmetaljoker]

I lost it at *fuck fruit*.....LMAO

[Komathefox]

Wait.... I'm supposed to be breathing?

[HellsingRuler]

@Komathefox Yeah i am so questioned, i mean i simply stopped breathing

[ristar600]

Well... I have an android. It comes with a life support system that has so far at least kept me out of the sight of the mars rovers, and that app was free.

[biduyah]

Every iPhone game is a mindless ripoff of already created, actually genuinely innovative flash games created during the peak of the mediums internet success among the younger generation.

[downsHG3]

ANother good game is pocket god that game is so addicting

[iiTzBenJi]

Easy... Android.

[StetsonsAreCoool]

It was actually Marcus Fenix's RIGHT nipple.

[Samwd1]

I dont even like iphones yet somehow I have got one.

[guidono123]

GAMETRADERS ROBINA

[gergar121]

Try using ipad games god. You cant only play 2d games all the others just suck. Their controls is the SAME REASON i hate the will.

[chosentonessournotes]

PERSONALLY, I dig the games that actually have some thought into it and don't depend on In App Purchases to beat it. Like 100 Rogues, Sword Of Fargoal, Mage Gauntlet, Don't Run With A Plasma Sword (Canabalt with combat elements), Dragon Fantasy, Civiballs, League Of Evil, etc. I ESPECIALLY recommend Sword Of Fargoal. A nice little retro revamp from the Commodore 64 that's like a casual gamers' version of dungeon crawling and roguelikes. Fantastic game. Plus the sequel is coming as a free update.

[chosentonessournotes]

The only thing that pisses me off about the fucking iPhone/iPod/iPad AppStore is how people eat up Angry Birds like it's the fucking cure for cancer and any ills that you may contract EVER. It's a shitty, sloppy physics based puzzler that involves flinging birds at flimsy wooden houses. Crush The Castle and Castle Clout did it 10x better. Not only that, but Rovio is using Angry Birds to steal your contact information, your address book and private info to sell to third party marketing agencies.

[kickassninja831]

Awesome, being poor grants me the ability to breath on Mars. Fuck Apple and and fuck anything with that smug little "i" plastered on it. 200 some odd dollars for a phone/iPod that slowly loses features, breaks when you so much as breath on it, and only has a higher number or a letter? Fuck. That.

I have to say, though, the mind numbing, time killing fun that is Flash Based Games really makes the time between classes in college fly by.

[kingvideogames]

Really Yahtzee? Sonic Colors is the least story telling Sonic game to date, and I thought you like stories in games!

[MrFisturmom]

I live in Brisbane too ^.^

[SoftPrograms]

CAT + Internet = Youtube...

I approve this message!

[DarkwolfX37]

I happen to be breathing on mars through the combination of the element ipod touch and the element wifi.

[MrJCcast]

eating potatoes

[ScrewTehRules]

Do any Nitrome game, ever. Probably Hot Air or Skywire though.

[vocalist92]

I only got an iPod cos my friend was selling it for a ridiculously small price. Be assured they're definatley worth the £55 i spent on it (sucker) but no way would I spend nearly £200 for one. Especially since it wouldn't surprise me if Apple had the next 4 generations of iPod already developed but secretly kept away til the next year cos we would buy it cos its superior to our current iPods...I think I overthought that a little...

[usernameinvalid8]

"you're a ninja, fruit is flying infront off you."

- AND FUCK FRUIT hahaha

[mysterykcad]

Silly Yahtzee, Cat + Internet = Icanhazcheeseburger

[supermorshu64]

@mysterykcad cat+sony vegas= youtube

[mysterykcad]

@supermorshu64 Also a valid equation.

[Shad0wz101]

Angry birds sucks

[TheAxelMiller]

He forgot INFURIOUS AVIANS.

[obzcure]

I don't have an iPhone. and never will. But I bought one of those cheap chinese tablets that cost about 1/100th of what an iphone does. and does everything anyone who owns an iphone cares about. which is the games and the internet. And while these games are great in the way on your pc when you get bored you check out the latest flash game. even on an iPhone i dont imagine theres too often you use it. so it just becomes a novelty thing for that honeymoon period when you first get the phone

[Spikeymikey1324]

Lol. "Cat + Internet = YouTube"

[mariofana]

I don't breathe on Mars. I've been holding my breath for about 2 years now

[MrJustmeinspace]

iphone/ipod touch games are more or less those sorta games you'd play when your waiting to get your teeth ripped out by your dentist.

[puslicker2000]

no iphone or android. the secret about breathing on mars is pressure and oxygen its simple as that

[ThwartAbyss54]

I asked Al how he can breath on the moon

[Nulono]

Slingshot, not catapult.

[kingvideogames]

0:28 and yet it was still good.

[7CellarDoors]

Life's pretty good here on Mars. I have money, and the insidiously malevolent fruit based empire known only as "Apple" is getting none of it. See how that works? I credit this mostly due to my having one of those "soul" things most people traded for a cracker and a porn mag by age 17

Mobiles in general piss me off anyway, but not nearly as much as the people who keep banging on about them like each new model is a freshly discovered invention patent by Leonardo Dafucking Vinci.

[Thalrion]

@7CellarDoors This, and only this.

[powerhousejp]

@7CellarDoors *high-fives the fellow Martian*

[BrothaDesmond2]

@7CellarDoors What do you have against porn?

[Mangaxaddict]

@BrothaDesmond2 he is actually offended by the cracker

[RazorRaiden]

@BrothaDesmond2 what do you have against actual sex?

[Zanator1]

@BrothaDesmond2 What is wrong with you people? What is there to have about porn? the only reason SOPA is good for anything is because it will eliminate it from the internet! Its indecent, its perverted, its destructive to the minds of youth and adults alike, its desgusting and it promotes sex for laughs and ONE OF THE SEVEN FUCKING SINS IF YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THOSE ARE!!!!!

[WolfBagel]

@Zanator1 Cool story bro.

[Nasurate6]

@Zanator1 News flash. God ain't real. Bible's a lie. Humans aren't special. Since you won't be able to have any sex when you're dead, you may as well try it now. No, really. It's pretty fun.

[Nasurate6]

@Nasurate6 Also the guy was joking, mostly. I think.

[Zanator1]

@Nasurate6 No, i was deffinetly not joking.

[Zanator1]

@Nasurate6 News flash. Thats what you think. I never said humans are special. God is Lord. Jesus died for you. Yada. Yada. :insert religious speech:

No really, i bet you dont even know the names of the last club you got drunk to death in and fucked someone you dont even know! Seriously, control your urges, youre not a fucking brainless animal... i think...

[Nasurate6]

@Zanator1 You don't have to be religious to be a moral person. I drink, sure, but rarely in clubs, and rarely to the extent that I can't remember what happened the night before. Just because I'm an atheist doesn't mean I'm some brainless hedonist - indeed the only bird I've shagged is my girlfriend of the last year and a half.

It just pains me to see people so willingly wasting their lives in service to a corrupt institution that society has outlived the need for.

[Nasurate6]

@Nasurate6 If the veil of religion has not totally impeded your ability to be objective, I might recommend you read about the various philosophical challenges to religion, and the flaws with the concept of God. At the very least I can hope they give you some food for thought. And hey, if you're able to overcome and rationalise against some of the theories then your faith will only be stronger for it, right?

[Zanator1]

@Nasurate6 Yes, I understand and really there is nothing to complain about you.

It honestly pains me too to know that such a good man has turned away from God.

[yaminoshi1]

@Zanator1 I honestly cant tell if your serious or joking and if so; I'm waiting for the punch line of this cutting edge joke

[Zanator1]

@yaminoshi1 Badum Tss. there, you happy? Now get your things straight and act a bit more sober like a normal guy should.

[BrothaDesmond2]

@Zanator1 Religious nut, right? Don't got spouting your nonsense at me on youtube. Yeah sex is evil, happy? Go back to the puritains.

[Zanator1]

@BrothaDesmond2 If thats what you want to call me, then yes! I would if i could find any through the flock of mindless sheep known as "our generation"!

[MinecraftKid50]

@Zanator1 BUT THE SOPA BILL WAS NEVER PASSED YOU COCK

[Zanator1]

@MinecraftKid50 Luckily, yes, it wasnt... Oh please, dont tell me you will go all Yahtzee on me now with "you cock" and who knows what else!

[MinecraftKid50]

@Zanator1 Nope

[Zanator1]

@MinecraftKid50 Good! Becouse then i might stick my cock in your eye! :)))))

[ETiWells]

@7CellarDoors O_O ...Yahtzee? Is that you?

[OneLaggyMotherfucker]

@7CellarDoors Agreed except that apple did get $120 of my money for my IPod Nano 5th gen. But I don't even use ITunes to get music. I have various other sorces in the form of stacks of thin circular shaped objects with music on them...

[kildeathy]

@7CellarDoors don't know why but i red it in zero's voice

[redsox7point5]

@7CellarDoors hahahaha i read that in Yahhteez's voice

[DarrenSdead]

@7CellarDoors sounds so much like something yahtzee would say

[LieutenantPoncyHair]

@7CellarDoors You speak words of wisdom and truth! :D

[cybermaniac17]

@7CellarDoors aaaand i find myself reading this in the voice of yahtzee. well played sir, well played.

[TobyTheRobot]

@7CellarDoors wow you sound like an intellectual free spirit

[cantgetme92]

@7CellarDoors I still say it was a fair trade ಠwಠ

[Zanator1]

@7CellarDoors I have a Nokia 3310

[7CellarDoors]

@Zanator1 Fascinating.

[enylive]

I build a battery factory, im a ROBOT!

[Shellgaja]

I don't breath on mars, I let mars breath on me.

[Gamer5Guy3Dude]

well see i require hydrogen not oxygen... there... i fucking breathe on mars.

[TheXXIV]

FUCK FRUIT 

[LeafOfLightning]

Ehhhh... You can play doodle god on Kongregate on pc.

[bdagenais123]

you dont actually need an iPhone, I somehow found Angrybirds for my computer

[orcslayer32]

to breathe on mars i implanted genetically engineered algae and waited 40 yrs then went and tokk a deep breath and then dug a hole in the ground

iphone games dont interest me as much

[twentyoneandsix]

why did i move from brisbane, i could have seen you in person

[0x28]

FUCK FRUIT! LOL!

[0x28]

Android rocks!

[DemonKingNecros]

Hey, Mars is nice this time of year.

[Sinistarrrrrrrrr]

i can breathe on mars... your argument is invalid

[Sheroxin]

Why are you speaking so f*****g fast?

[TheBlacKoopa]

@Sheroxin Whyareyouspeakingsof*****gslow­!?!?

[0x28]

@Sheroxin What the hell is your IQ man? ZERO. PUNCTUATION. THAT. MEANS. THAT. HE. DOESNT. USE. PUNCTUATION. MEANING. HE. NEVER. STOPS. IN. SENTENCES. :P

[Sheroxin]

@0x28 Oh XD I overerreaded that :D

[0x28]

@Sheroxin lol

[BabyWithRazorBlades]

I used a really long straw to syphon the atmosphere from Earth and put it onto Mars. They said I was crazy, but it worked.

[nroland99]

cat+internet=cheese burger

[TheVerandaguy]

To breathe on Mars without an iPhone, I just make use of the iOxygen app, which works on both my iPod touch and iPad.

[Sjoerdd93]

I love how all the named iPhone "games" are on android too nowadays.

[g0d11c3]

@devilvoyaa There is so much wrong in that sentence, its not even funny.

[chanelMAN23]

angry birds:

pigs steal 3 eggs

birds sacrifice rest of the species just to make it even

[Reidyrockz249]

i got a ipod touch

[camofire096]

hmmmm top comments are 64 to 65.

this comment is random. thankfully its not a cheesy comment saying "the top comment space is full! its my chance! ...TITS" you notice i am just trying to pull you into liking this. you notice this is like one of those listings where the say " i know 10 things about you" you notice i keep referring to different type of comments which pull you into liking them. you think this is further more cheesy and arent impressed. like this if you want to. idc.

[Nulono]

Well, I've got an iPad nano.

[MetroidKingofMetroid]

I don't have an iPhone, I don't use my current cell phone, I don't like music enough to use it for music, and I would rather drink toilet water in a gas station than call myself a casual gamer.

[reaper1545]

He does make a valid point pc/console games have become horridly repetitive. Its like some dick sucking asshole decides to make the same game 300 times with just better graphics and different characters.

[mongolianape]

fuck iphone,fuck ps3, fuck xbox 360 and throw wii in the fiery pits of hell. pc rules but is incredibly expensive and then theres getting a brain hernia from teeny tiny screens of the horribly made portible game consoles!

[Sammie1053]

Has he ever reviewed Techno Adventure Kitten?

[Iwastheret0]

*INHALE*

*EXHALE*

Just like that.

[TheTribalEffect]

aw thats not fair..i have a htc, same apps :)

[jenniferxjeopardy]

You live in Brisbane.

Guess I'll be seeing you, Yahtzee.

[Labtop215]

All of you people talking about how to breath on mars are doing it wrong!

It's called a goddam internals set + oxygen tank. Gawww'd

[CRUSH3Rdlux]

"Cat plus internet equals youtube" xD

[FrDougal9000]

I don't even have a mobile phone of any sort.(In case,you're wondering it's very easy to breathe on Pluto with the main condition being you don't breathe)

[cheater21211]

@FrDougal9000 so ur the guy who i can see in the distance

[troy1002x]

Oh it's easy to breathe on mars. You just need to drink daily dosage of sewage water and toxic waste for the next 3 months, assuming you won't be dead by then.

[gunninlinguist]

I've a Samsung Galaxy instead.

[TheArkTek]

fuck fruit

[ianmeesters88]

I don't have an iphone because i really don't need one. oh and gaming sucks on a touch screen device cause your fingers are the way...

[nmgh101]

@ianmeesters88 its actualy pretty nice, though

[ianmeesters88]

@nmgh101 i gues if you wanna do some cassual gaming from time to time in waiting rooms and stuff an iphone could be nice... it's just really not my thing.