Jack Dee's Text Messages 4

[MunchinOnDew]

"You're standing in front of an anagram of 'Eat all the evil poo.'"

-Demetri Martin

[Xiolaer]

The Anagram is wrong there is only 2 E you need 3 for Eat thE Evil (livE at thE apollo)

[rugbyanden]

The anagram thing was awesome!

[MNightTomalan]

Eat all the evil poo, has 3 e's. Live at the apollo only has 2.

[PlyLilian]

@MNightTomalan Its this: Eat all th'evil poo. :)

[sodia1]

What the hell is a Pikey ???

[deltaframes]

@sodia1 a pikey is an Irish Gypsy. hope this helps

[charlottaigirl]

eat all the evil poo.

[xdevilxbabex2003]

I want that Suit !

[kathydacat]

I don't think it is an anagram - I think there's an e missing.

[paulturtle92]

You're standing in front of an anagram of "eat all the evil poo"

ROFL!!!!

[guitarboy96]

3:17-3:37 i dont get it yet his laugh made me laugh

[vidwatcher2468]

@guitarboy96 shoo'ing horses vs shoeing horses and telling the donkey to f' off

[guitarboy96]

@vidwatcher2468 ohhhh i get it now. shoo as in go away

[ildish]

Who the hell is that doctor?

[templar19]

Could be 'Eat All The Poo Liv'

[45zenex]

@zkadkad i love his reaction aswell

"Shut up"

[1CCHH1]

"I once told a donkey to fuck off" hahahaha

[Idet1000]

Side burns!

[TheJRPGgamer]

eat all the ivl poo....

[ildish]

who is that doctor?

[darkmiles22]

Eat, Live, Hallt! Poo. 

[MrSmileyPants1]

Eat All the Evil Poo literally just put me in tears from laughing so hard.

[UpgradeUnicycle]

2:49...so funny!!!

[HcmJames]

who is this doctor chevorne?

[jakamneziak]

the idea of texting a comic is brilliant! The results are superbly funny!

[simpsons790]

the evil poo thing is wrong because there are only 2 e's in live at the apollo and need to be 3 in eat all the evil poo

[MichaelLGibbons]

loved the Ross Nobel reference.

[TheFspirit]

"Jack no matter how bad life gets it could be worse. You could be an egg, you only get smashed once, laid once and the only bird that will sit on your face is your mum"

ROFLMAO!!!!!! xD

[MattySP34Ks]

sideburns=lol

[CrystalSnowfire]

What key opens every lock?

A pykey. lol

[KarakuraRiser]

@CrystalSnowfire I didnt quite get that :o

[CrystalSnowfire]

@KarakuraRiser a pykey (sounds like pie-key) is a jipsey. pardon my terrable spelling. a jipsey is usually very skilled at breaking into places and therefore a master lockpick. so a pykey/jipsey can open any lock. =)

[tjbayliss]

@CrystalSnowfire What key opens every lock?

A Pikey.

You mean Gypsy, but that's not what a Pikey is.

In England we just call people Pikey's if they are thieving cunts who steal stuff.

Usually poor people, sometimes gypsy s - but not always.

I usually refer to townies as pikeys.

Little twats in tracksuits who would probably break into your house to steal 1 cigarette.

[CrystalSnowfire]

@tjbayliss Oh. Sorry to all Gypsy peoples!

Thanks for the info. =)

You just made me glad that I don't smoke. heh.

[tjbayliss]

@CrystalSnowfire Not all Gypsys are Pikeys.

Just most of them.

[maraseea]

@CrystalSnowfire actually i know a load of Gypseys and none of them steal. Gypseys are peacful traveler but "tinkers" (travelers who origionally used stolen metal or wood to make craft) as they are known pose as gypseys and steal from people and, unfortunately gypseys get all the blame

[CrystalSnowfire]

@maraseea Oh? That's sad. I feel bad for the gypseys now. It also makes me think differently about what people might mean when they say "I tinker around a bit."

[Spazzman299]

this is the Ross Noble one then

[Cald0m92]

eat all the evil poo isnt an anagram. u need more letters

[BungaloHippo]

u need another e

[Elidan1012]

the anagram is incorrect yet hilarious

[godie666]

he looks awsome with those mutton chops lol

[Lolleren6]

what was the what key opens every lock joke?

[rhymer78]

@Lolleren6 Pikey is a pejorative slang term used mainly in the United Kingdom to refer to Irish Travellers, gypsies or people of low social class

[rawrgrr4298]

@Lolleren6 what kind of key opens every lock? A pikey.

[TheMOcookie]

sod that in his hounor it is now declared by me it is named live at the apolloe

[falenangel]

the first part must have been from Ross Noble

[jockney7]

I once told a donkey fuck off1! lmao

[Matty09Magic]

i checked this, eat all the evil poo has 3 e's, live at the apollo has 2 e's

[coolnoscoper]

the egg joke was amazing

[kingokane]

Would you ever glue meat to your face?

[cokeadict619]

EAT ALL THE EVIL POO!

[Rac3ralwayz]

Live at the apollo = Eat all the evil Poo

[adidas111112]

WAT IS HIS NUMBER !?!?!?!?!?!?!!

[Slapbass13]

One e short.

But i still loled!

[dabuizel]

I wish there wasnt an "E" short or it would have been the best text ever!

[FlowFarda]

3.15 to 3.18

[MrKszota]

can sum1 please explain the donkey joke haha i still dont get it

[PrinceOfDarkness2k7]

Shoo! is a term to tell people to go away, horses have SHOES (its propnounced the same) and telling someone to "fuck off" is a way of shoo-ing.

[NewAgeEagles]

god i loved the meat to the face thing

[samsagitarias]

Like the Donkey Joke LOL and the annagram - yes, yes, so its not quite right - there is a "E" short, but it still very funny -

[Jooordii14]

the anagram one is totally wrong lol... cause there is only 2 E's in LIVE AT THE APOLLO but in EAT ALL THE EVIL POO is 3 E's lol

[kieran12383]

Di-Fucking-Dums bet you still smiled at it.

[DavidIsSoCoool]

Can I also add I loive the way he emphisises words. For example when he says thats from John from B&Q. Lmao Jack Dee is the best

[DavidIsSoCoool]

Lmao, with Dara in the building how dare you.

And who ever sent in the text about telling the donkey to fuck off congrats, that is the first time Jack Dee has laughed from a text,

[oOZePirateOo]

lmaooo i love the text bits :)

n he looks skinnier with sideburns.

[PlasmaFilmsFX]

3:32 is the only one he's actually laughed at.

I don't think hes laughed at a text before

[Maltie93]

Eat All The Evil Poo :)

[Rizzofish]

he needs one more "E" and it would be right

[kazamakooza]

dipshit alert

[tommason1984]

Yea but he doesn't mean shooing as in getting rid of it, he means shoeing as in putting shoes on a horse.... hence went for a job as a blacksmith. WAKEY WAKEY!

[Riamu86]

you serious? you any good at shoe'ing horses... Shoo as in go away hence no but I've told one to fuck off... XD

[123enigma456]

eat all the evil poo!

[obnhefmhh]

im so thick. but i dont get it...

what key opens every lock a piekey?

[nrhisback]

try looking up Pikey!

[Hellooo06]

Must remember that egg joke.

[XOBeRsErKeR]

I got band from B&Q b ecause one of the staff asked if i wanted decking so i broke his nose ROFL!

[George36th]

is this the 1 with ross noble???

glue meat to face lmao

[eLIPHAS3333]

Nah this was the one with Dara O'brien

[ChrisLovesOasis]

The first half of the vid is Ross Noble texts, the second half is Dara texts :)

[eLIPHAS3333]

Ross Noble dragged that joke out so much, it got intensely boring.

[ROCKYMARCIANOXX0]

"Eat all the evil poo! " hahaha! :)

Bit sad but i have two of my own:

United states of America: Customised fattie arena

Maddie : Im dead! (no joke, that's just bloody creepy! :s)

> :P

[jackcoglin]

why cause u skip them all

[ElixrOnfire]

no because im smart and find tests easy

[Joshuaaa2008]

cos your a faggot!

[ElixrOnfire]

really im a faggot for not being a stereotypical geordie

[ElixrOnfire]

hey aam a geordie and i dont sweat in a maths test

[jackcoglin]

why cause u skip them all

[josshinator]

live at the apollo EAT ALL THE EVIL POO!

[secretspy17]

The anagram is actually wrong, it needs 3 "e"'s while Live at the Apollo only has 2

[dabuizel]

your right but its was still funny for imagination!

[zkadkad]

eat all the evil poo...classic!

[semsjordet]

Yeah, but actually it's not an of that

It's missing an E, unfortunately

[zkadkad]

lol, true. still..that text was classic

[Ambyrawrawr]

@semsjordet No it's not. There's a 'E' in Live and in The.

[mikepoveyrulz]

@Ambyrawrawr There are 3 'E's in 'eat all the evil poo'

[thehyro2302]

@Ambyrawrawr theres also an e in eat too.......

[Nogli]

@semsjordet "Eat all th evil poo" would work though. Close enough.

[SpectorG]

@Nogli Juist make it, "Eat all th'evil poo." Unless there are punctuation rules with anagrams I'm unaware of. :P

[ethrez]

@semsjordet who gives a shit?

[eSuKxGAMING]

@semsjordet no its not... it has an extra L though.

[19NaVi72]

@zkadkad

I almost died when I heard that! LMFAO!!

[Adrenaline4real]

@zkadkad the best text message ever!

[barnett016]

ahaa legend