Opie & Anthony: Lifetime Movies

[pergle673]

"A gloryhole for Jimmy"

[Superman5000The]

"A Pink Sock for Amy"

"A Hat Removed"

[hothotheat3000]

Lifetime completely sucks.

[swatsticker]

i need that car crash sound bite...

[Messyman16]

Jim Gaffigan had a funny joke about this. A Lifetime original movie Meredith Baxter gets beaten with a rod, with a Lifetime original rod

[Dionysus187]

I heard their doing a series about the people who watch this stuff....

"A Boring Life"

"A Fat Cunt's Smelly Cunt"

"My Baby is Fat, but also Malnourished"

"A Boyfriend, A Lie"

"A Whore's Cry for Attention"

"A Face to Cut"

"A Phone Job for Fattie"

[JamesOhGoodie]

They really like Christmas movies over at Lifetime, don't they?

Also, A Perfect Murder? Wasn't that the name of an ACTUAL movie with Michael Douglas and Gwenyth Paltrow? They can't even come up with their own movie titles!

[tas4life7]

this is too funny even though i will sit and watch a lifetime movie

[dummy40034]

that "...............A Car Crash" line was delivered with PERFECT timing

[Alufear]

"A Douchebag for Clara."

Long live George Carlin.

[lastunusedname]

"The Boyfriend Wanted Anal"!

"A You-Think-of -Something To Die For"!

"A Beating For All The Snotty Rich Bitches From Your Old High School"!

"A Negro Controls You: The Oprah Story"!

"Whiny Twat: The Every Lifetime Viewer Story"!

[kamtiniyes]

A Boyfriend, A Nazi.

...

A Car Crash!

[iamyourgranddaddy]

Lifetime movies are either about "a woman scorned takes revenge" or "a girl is sexually abused and her mother seeks justice". Ugh.

[hollywoodwerewolf]

Mother Can I Sleep With Danger is the worst of the worst.

[pwnpower]

I had a black baby once, but I put it into an air-tight container until it passed out.

[Andros1921]

The Lifetime Channel:We'll slap a bitch.

[mindstormsabrewin]

"A Worthless Channel"

[dsriggs]

What are they saying??

[LAPunk1986]

Oops. Wrong clip :(

[LAPunk1986]

Oops, this isn't the women vs toilets clip. *embarassed*

[LAPunk1986]

Answer to caller's question

Uhhhh...Fetuses don't belong in women!

[mastercheif4072165]

IT WAS MUUUUUURDER.

[nycts]

DONKEY PUNCH: A LOVE STORY

[ShiksaWithChutzpah1]

Lifetime Network shows funnier stuff than Comedy Central nowadays. The best titles remain, "Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?" and "My Stepson, My Lover".

[eeilrahc]

I'm still waiting for, "A Ted Sheckler Christmas."

[EricLynchSucks]

I have a feeling Brian Dennehy is a supporting actor in a lot of these shit movies.

[rqbuchanan]

Your intuition is very keen.

He and Jeff Fahey.

[zioz99]

A Fat Mother In Law

A Person with 8 fingers

ANOTHER WOMAN'S WOMAN!!!!

[holt2k]

The best one ever remains "Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life" where a woman's son gets addicted to the lousiest online pornography ever devised.

[theclarkhome]

"A Fag in the Closet"

[GoPS3NoXbox360]

haha "a little thing called....MURDER!!!"

[Carina08x]

The Estrogen Channel

[rqbuchanan]

I watch and riff on loads of these with my girlfriend, who got me into them. They're a mess, and we love them. Every one panders to women (usually white, middle-class) by presenting them as both empowered and victimized, usually at the same time. They're almost clever.

I'm only surprised that I didn't hear O&A comment on these years and years ago.

[Beta2G]

A Liver for Chester

[rqbuchanan]

Judy's Left Turn

[ShittyMcBalls]

I enjoy watching lifetime movies.

[11825code6]

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

IMMA GONNA FUCKIN' KILL YOU

[moshe88]

'Well, you should have told me borscht was supposed to be served cold before you brought it out'.

Also; watch?v=bUKwPeUiwVk

Sorry, couldn't find an actual clip of him on YT.

[szammi47]

whats the first thing a woman should do when she leaves the domestic violence shelter?...the dishes if she is smart

[Lamtitude]

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, she's already been told twice.

[Lamtitude]

@ Yarsh29 There's nothing wrong with that. I'm pretty sure every self-respecting swinging dick roots for the abusive boyfriend/husband. ( :

[xcalibur4ever]

This is highly offensive!!!

That's what my girlfriend said until i beat her.

[szammi47]

my favorite is that one where the little boy tattles on his uncle paul for making him play tummy-sticks

[tummysticks80]

@szammi47 yeah, he showed him

[Bgoff27]

...i thought lifetime was a comedy channel...heh...go figure...

[rqbuchanan]

IT IS.

[SRRNYRNYM9486]

haha, they should just call it the "im a victim of rape network"

[TokenWhiteGuyAGR]

@SRRNYRNYM9486 "Lifetime, television for the raped and beaten."

[xg4bx]

my favorite lifetime movie is the one where the kid is addicted to internet porn and the cam girl lies and says he attacked her. i watch that everytime its on. it stars 'lil matthew lawrence and nicolette sheridan.

[thwrldsgr8st]

that actually sounds good

[rqbuchanan]

I must see that.

[SergeantPhilFish]

Not at all. Its always heart warming to see a woman get battered and bruised. Always makes me giggle to see a kid cry as daddy is beating mommy upside the head with a belt.