Jacob: Sex, Lies and a Marriage made in heaven...

[Cootabux]

Man, u have a unique, comedic talent for doing these bible stories like no other!

Your videos make my day!

Just wish u could have included the part where Jacob uses visual aides in genetically manipulating the outcome of his sheep's offspring! (Damn, that was a mouthful). In other words, Jacob strips bark off tree branches, puts them in the watering trough & when the sheep see the striped branches, while mating, they give birth to spotted sheep!

I know you would've made it hilarious!

[kalsolarUK]

@Cootabux lol, now you mention it...that may well be an idea worth slipping into a future video! Thanks for pointing it out!

[Cootabux]

kalsolarUK

Sure. It's funny enough on it's own. I figured you could sure do something with it!

Take care. I'm gonna get back to watching some more of your vids.

[CristianApostol]

@kalsolarUK you should do it next

[maradashewolf]

...can't...stop...LAUGHING!!! XD

[kalirastar]

Nearly died laughing when you were yelling at the sirens. This is one of your best man. You really need to get your franchise going.

[kalsolarUK]

lol, thanks - much appreciated!

[atticana]

And it is just as relevant today as it was when Genesis was written, for Israel still struggles both with God and with men. In this struggle we have the key to human history. But keys are only of value to those who are prepared to make use of them.

[atticana]

The story of Jacob is one of the most intensely personal and intimately human stories in the literature of the ancient world. You neglect to mention the most important part of it, where Jacob encounters a mysterious stranger (Genesis 32:23-33) and struggles with him in the night, so becoming Israel (He who strives with God). This extraordinary passage is full of mystical significance, which will pass over the heads of nearly all those who watch this video.

[teddyrubskin]

Sounds like your setting up a dirty joke ... If you work for me another 7 years ... he gets him drunk again and marries him to camel or something

[gigantibyte]

Great video! Have you performed your stand up on stage?

[kalsolarUK]

funnily enough..no...

I have performed some stuff on stage...but not any of this.

[STFUNOWlol]

You should try it. I smell a niche.

[julzabro]

Why do I not get notified of your new vids???

[kalsolarUK]

hmm? I don't know...probably a youtube anomoly of some sort.

[RICKYMDOGG]

Excellent as usual!

[jussts]

That's in the Bible? Sounds more like a letter to Penthouse.

[FalleJr]

Great video. Gizmo never became a gremlin though, he stayed a mogwai all the time.

[kalsolarUK]

well spotted sir...and technically correct - But Gizmo is a funnier word than Stripe which is why I chose to use it.

[metalorg]

Sounds like an apostle mixed in a few pages from their wet-dream diary into the bible.

[jamminjago]

biblical imperialism ftw

[LadyPenguinThe4th]

You need to make more videos! I need my fix!

:)

[Greggs41]

damN THOSE SIRENS!!

[ChilapaOfTheAmazons]

Oh. My. God.

That's one sick holy book!

[Paxmax]

It's amazing what they put into the bible!

[PluralOfEverything]

This is my favorite video of yours so far. Pure brilliance. I've read this story myself, and you are right on the money. This is going in my favorites.

[Hereticbooks]

I love your telling of bible stories. You should teach a sunday school class for christian children. LOL I'm trying to think of a classic story that you haven't already done. Did you do the one where lot has sex with his 2 daughters? I can't remember.

[PluralOfEverything]

I agree, all the cursing would be great for children. It will show them how grownups talk.

[amative63]

The sirens were probably on, as they were rushing Leah to a maternity hospital.

[otakursed]

mas, necesita mas videos from off the cuff. Laughing me culo off . . . bloody sirens XD

[Panman38]

I imagine it was one of those drunken drivethrough Vegas weddings, and Jacob woke up the next morning with no memory of the previous night.

Like we all haven't had that happen to us.

[frozensage]

I love your stuff!

[slipcurve]

You're funny even outside the script! Well done mate.

[kalsolarUK]

thankyou kindly!

[Darwinsgift]

I love the classics!

[HonestDiscussioner]

I like the stale tale about a whale that Jonah availed to bail on. Or perhaps the male hailed for being nailed to a rail instead of being jailed and whose portrayed as very pale but was probably darker than a snail's tail which makes for a history fail. And this is what Christian's have for sale, but I'd rather buy some ale.

[kalsolarUK]

lol, truely excellent - that comment should be hailed as the holy grail of mail.

I'm just vexed that I can't think of a better text.

[HonestDiscussioner]

Dammit. I should have though of "grail". Again that's a fail. You a good pal, kal.

[lamnaa]

Hmm, I have a sneaking suspension that this story was written by a man.

[pokerrace]

Do you realise you just said, "sneaking suspension"? lol

[lamnaa]

lol, I'm a terrible typist.

[Crosisborg]

Why would angels even need wings. There are so many logical flaws in the christian dogma it wouldnt pass the editors desk in modern times

[blindvoyager]

Ironically this version of Jacob is probably closer to the way it was originally told around the campfire, than the way it is told from the pulpit. The Bible can be pretty darn funny at times.

[CousinoMacul]

Maybe the angels' wings were tired from all that flying? I've seen flies climbing walls, and they have wings. ;-)

Now your hearing sirens? Which one sounded nicer, Charybdis or Scylla? :-P

[kalsolarUK]

mmmmmm sirens, lol.

[CousinoMacul]

Indeed! I'll take sirens over angels any day!

Also, I just noticed a typo: It should have been "Now you're hearing ..."

[rozeboosje]

ROTFLMAO

I have to remember that for the next time some holier-than-thou religious whackjob starts whittering on about the sanctity of the sacrament of marriage and how it's supposed to be between ONE man and ONE woman. :P

[ozmoroid]

One man and one woman (at a time).

[jamminjago]

i don't know why some christians consider marriage to be a union between one man and one women when there is nothing in the bible to suggest that. Actually it was typically one man, and many many women.

[rozeboosje]

[grin]

And there is that, too

[rozeboosje]

LOL. Yeah. The surviving partner is allowed to move on. XD

[RadarKat73080]

Where were these girls when I wanted to get married? My wife would have never let me have sex with her handmaid, if she had one, her parents would never have given her one; you should have seen the cheap ass reception they threw for us! My favorite bit is where Jacob screws over his father-in-law by somehow making all the ewes have striped or speckled lambs, doesn't work; I tried it!

[kalsolarUK]

"Where were these girls when I wanted to get married?"

No idea...but you can bet they weren't at my house ... sadly. lol.

[RadarKat73080]

You sure Kal? You wouldn't hold out on me, would you?

[Danmill23]

It's funny how you hear our Christian cousins "rabbit" on and on and on and on about a small selection of bible stories, but never about other stories.

Could a new bible mythos be constructed from just the neglected stories?

[ddpl365]

I'm not dead yet... I'm getting better