LIFE ON THE BORDER...(BPD)

[Emmjanearapoglu]

Lovely video I too have BPD it's a long rollercoster of up and down feelings my medication helps but it don't take the inside pain away or the other problems I face everyday

[abcjbc]

What's the song?

[darren7659]

I'm BPD. You are a beautiful person. You made this video. It attempts to help understanding. If, for this alone, you're beautiful. Doesn't matter if you believe it or not, I do.

[s16penser]

I hate myself

[landofhealth]

@s16penser i'm sorry, feelings of self hatred are common with bpd.. have you been diagnosed with bpd? do you have any support like a mental health worker? hugs, bluebell x

[sixisreal]

BPD ruined my life. I don't have it, but I lived with someone who did...

[missdarkangelxxx]

bpd is so depressing when you push people away cos your scared they'll abandon you so you reject them before they can reject you... too many lost loves .

[MsAgnosticatheist]

Beautiful people can say what they want about us, we are the most creative passionate people, you a wonderful we all are don't let people tell you otherwise.

[KreyaHammond]

My best friend has borderline personality disorder and I have been with her through her worst and best times. I've seen her in several mental hospital visits for an eating disorder and suicide attempts, I've seen her lose friends because they don't understand, and I've seen her blissfully in love and having the time of her life...

This poem is beautiful. This captures the essence of my best friend perfectly. I am crying from this video. I'll try to stop before my friend comes home. :]

[ZEKASING]

i am teenage and i think i have this.. i think my dad i my syster also have this, my mum is so unhappy for us..

[Tim4733]

I hate myself and life also, iam loosing everything. friends job's. but most off all myself. I don't know who i am.....

[RandomOneU]

Thank you Bluebell. Is there a way to get the poem?

[cclowe12345]

it amazes me how precise you captured how it feels to have BPD. I wach this so much and it gives me comfort. Thankyou.

[1lovescats]

Living with BPd is like dying in hell... it never ends.

[pippionesock]

This is an amazing piece on this disease, disorder, malfunction, disregulation or whatever name THEY want to give it. We know what it is, we live it, we cope with it, we carry it around and feed it and pray for it. It is BPD and it is not hopeless, nor is it bad, nor is it something that is to be ashamed of. I am 41 years old and was diagnosed 7 years ago, had many other diagnosis over the years. I like to think my multifaceted brain confused them :)

Seriously though, I have run out of charact

[TheKCzfree]

thank you, it was beautiful; was really moved; hope u r doing ok; I am getting better myself; there is guidance somewhere there; it is possible to get over bpd; good luck to everybody

[starsoverthere]

The song sounds like the one from the beginning of finding nemo

[silviaesilvia]

hello!! i have bpd...what it is like, you all know...what i want to add is that you can recover. with therapy and without paying a lot of money. don't trust in people who ask you a lot of money...doctors shouldn't take much money for that, if they do, they are trying to get rich through your pain. i'm saying that, for it's true that therapy is necessary, but often it's hard to do that if you're not rich. just look for the true doctors! after therapy, you're still special, but life is different;)

[Snappel123]

what's that song? :)

[TheEditor80]

That was beautiful. Touched my soul.

[wankblanket]

I have just been diagnosed at 44..I a male...I have so much grief about my life..but I hope to get in to a DBT programme in January..thanks you for the beautiful poem x

[landofhealth]

@wankblanket  hi there,, i hoe the dbt helps and glad you'll be getting some help.. thanks for the comment about my poem:) hugs, bluebell x

[wankblanket]

I have just been diagnosed at 44..I a male...I have so much grief about my life..but I hope to get in to a DBT programme in January..thanks you for the beautiful poem x

[sarahjanehill1]

loved your film......i have bpd i will hold your hand ;0)

[landofhealth]

@sarahjanehill1 thank you so much:) i'm rock bottom atm.. got some bad health probs and keep breaking bones so am housbound with no support.. i so apreciate your lovely comment :) hugs, bluebell x

[AdlerChalk]

You can get better and that is the truth but you will not be able to do it alone.

Please get the help you need and commit yourself to changing how you think.

GOOD LUCK!

[dannibeth88]

love this. I was recently diagnosed with BPD among the many other things they labeled me with.... thankyou for sharing this.

[christys13044]

thank you for posting....tears welled while watching, it felt like this video was created just for me. I've been battling BPD just about all of my life and its been hell in slow motion. *big Hugs*

[gothicvenus1]

thank you for this wonderful poem! So true.

[justnothingspecial]

This video is so beautfiul, and so beautifully accurate. Thankyou. x

[Purplespadge1]

great poem set to beautiful music and some haunting pictures - I'mm 44 and just been diagnosed - doesn't change anything but at least there is a reason I feel/react etc the way I do and that gives me some comfort

[TashaRichardsonFan]

Beautiful soundtrack.

[Anaprince]

Does it really get better? How can it get better? I need it to get better. I think and think and think and out of all the possible things I could possibly imagine, any scenartio, I cant see a way for it to stop feeling this way. Its like I've lived my life a thousand times over in a billion different ways past, presant, even future. I just want to stop and rest. No Im not going to off myself I just want to know how to make it stop hurting all the time and feel something else, something wonderful

[landofhealth]

@Anaprince .. I wish i could give you some positive answers.. I guess we just have to hope the pain will eventually ease off. .. The only time I was happy was when i was with my ex.. but I need to find it in myself because i so don't have much love or liking for myself and am really hard on me.. i can relate to what u say.. like living a thousand times and im still hurting.. peace and healing to you x

[justnothingspecial]

@Anaprince

Reading your comment, I feel like you just described everything about how my life used to be. I don't recall how my life changed because it's kind of a blur, but it did, and yours will too. I don't really know what answers to give you, but hang in there, you're so strong. I'm not saying there won't be bad days, or weeks even, but I do strongly believe you have the power to let things change, you just have to be patient unfortunately.

xx

[Akyana11]

@Anaprince

It does get better with time. You learn tricks eventually, you find how not to sweat the small things so much. I dont know...I am on the path there and what seems to be the key is to f.ck the past and worries, and just be. But no, its nor easy. Our path is very very hard and I believe it does have a meaning.

[shadowless1974]

@Anaprince if you do want to feel something worderful, accept Jesus as your Saviour that God has sent to free us. I promise you, that you will not regret this. Look for a good christian church. If it s too much of a big step for you at once, try listening to christian music on the radio or watch TBN (John Hagee or other preachers). Buy a bible and expecially read the New Testament. And believe that all things are possible for God and that you will receive the healing of your spirit.

[Anaprince]

@shadowless1974 lol thank you for the advice but pretty much every religion on the planet thinks I should burn in hell... plus I'm not to fond of blind obedience based on whatever whichever church I joined is preaching that particular day. So I'll pass thanks.

[shadowless1974]

@Anaprince , i totally understand how you feel. Just remember one thing, love and glory comes from God. Other fruits like depression, violence, the feeling of being unworthy of love comes from another source, and will only keep you in the darkness you're in. Jesus is the true vine that produces good fruit. God bless you.

[hellodarling123456]

What is the name of the song?

[bullturn711]

I'm military and i've been diagnosed with bpd, im stuck, the marines gives me a sense of fulfillment when i'm deployed, but i'm ot allowed to have my problems or else i get seperated, so i'm stuck holding everything in. which bursts into SI. which i'm luckily able to keep hidden.

[cclowe12345]

thankyou!

[landofhealth]

aww, you're welcome! x

[Lifesparad0x]

i've been watching a few b.p.d. videos lately and i have to say this is very beautiful. thank you.

[landofhealth]

aww thank you. bluebellxx

[UsInOnE]

Excellent video, it describes how hard it is to have bpd..I was diagnosed with it in 04, along with a few other things, but great video.

[landofhealth]

Thank you.. it is soo hard bpd.. i'm 38 and still struggle so much . I really hope u manage to get through it and heal . hugs, bluebell x

[UsInOnE]

Your welcome and i know what you mean. im 22 and still struggling but I find the strength to keep going through my family and friends. I hope that you can manage to get through it all and heal as well..hugs, {UsInOnE-Maxi"Host"}

[LadyJzTalkZone]

This was well done also. the music was right on for the pictures. And the words "priceless" LadyJ

[landofhealth]

aww thank you, I really appreciate your comment. peace, bluebell x

[MsAliceWoods]

wow amazing video, really love it, you describe it as good as something this terrible for a person can be, I have been dignosed with BPD for four years, and I'm only fourteen, I still don´t se another way out the death and I´m living a normal persons worst nightmare, but every day I have make it through and I still try to keep it up, For every BPD out there, Don´t give up, keep fighting even when it seems hopeless...

[landofhealth]

hi Alice, aww thank you for liking my video..I understand what a struggle it is to cope with having bpd.. you got diagnosed young, so I hope you have support or therapy and I reccon you stand a good chance of busting the bpd by getting an early diagnosis.. I got dx quite late( i'm 38 now and got dx 6 years ago, and there's no support for me with bpd in my town.

pm me if u ever want to talk. Hugs, bluebell x

[freebassist]

just today doctors dignosed me a BPD

[landofhealth]

oh no.. it's a hard illness to cope with.. i hope you manage to get some good support . hugs, bluebell x

[FancyMary15]

I find this vid truly beautiful. The way you describe it is so true. I am borderline!

[landofhealth]

thank you Mary! i'm sorry you're borderline too.. its a challenge! take care hon, bluebell x

[JokaaBu]

song from American Beauty?

[maudetorterat]

thanks :-)

i really love this song!

[Sturmtiger100]

Nice.

[vsstinson]

beautiful...really and truly...

[landofhealth]

thak you so much xx bluebell

[landofhealth]

i've been a veggie for 20 years!!! its good u r too, but it didn't cure my bpd! hugs, bluebell

[kriskrisuk]

BIG hug to you too. The feeling of sadness is always there. The doctor dignosed me as a BPD two years ago. i used to feel scared all the time. would lock myself in a room, felt trap. I suppose i still do. only the medication make me feel otherwise.

[sweetnsensitivegirl]

WOW! BPD is way more serious than a simple diet change....eat veggies if you want but meat didnt make your brain malfunction!! This is VERY bad and dangerous advice I mean it may be helpful and I dont put that down but its no cure for most people with BPD!!!!

[sweetnsensitivegirl]

after looking back on the comments.....I think I was a bit harsh...sorry kris;)

[maudetorterat]

what's the song please?

[landofhealth]

its the theme tune to the movie american beauty

[MyMartyMcfly]

Great movie. I was recently diagnosed and have been watching a few movies. this is a really good representation of what it feels like. real, without being depressing. Thanks :)

[landofhealth]

aw thanks.. i'm sorry you've got bpd too.. it can be really hard when u get a diagnosis, but its a really tough illness to deal with as it affects so much of your life.. i truly hope u can get the help u need to get well.. hugs, bluebell x

[rugrats1212]

my sister has bpd so i watch these vids to better understand how she feels

[landofhealth]

wow, she's lucky to have a sister like you trying to understand her better. hug s for you and your sis xx, bluebell

[rugrats1212]

id do anything for my sister and shed do anything for me

[SamiD29]

wish i have a big sister... :(

[KMSSaga]

what do you think now of your sister?

I got BPD and life is really a hell for me now

I do not understand what is wrong with me

[rugrats1212]

mmm what do you mean. i dont think any differently of her if thats what you mean. shes still my sister and nothing can change that no matter what disorder she happend to have. i dont define people by their disorder

[kayjanew]

...i was first diagnosed with manic depression then Bi-Polar...now bpd...very confusing...this video is one of my favorites....thank you for some peace and insight xx

[landofhealth]

hi sorry its taken ages to reply.. i'm not well atm.. thanks for your comments and i hope u find some help to heal. hugs, bluebell x

[slipstream1010]

soundtrack is from American Beauty

[zygmuntszajser]

from which film's sountrack does it come from?

[Lyssenk0]

The idea of being on the border of psychosis and neurosis is a very old psychoanalytic concept that has been basically discredited in recent years. There is hope for individuals with borderline personality. It's called dialectical behavior therapy. The name borderline is pejorative and inaccurate...they're thinking of changing it to "emotional dysregulation disorder", as it's called in the international DSM, the ICD-10.

[landofhealth]

hi there.. i agree.. i hate the name borderline personality disorder, its horrible and stigmatising.. i made this vid cos i feel i have an angel and devil on each shoulder, pulling me in diff directions and for me, it's a constant battle to stay in the light.

I think bpd should be changed to complex post traumatic stress disorder. hugs, bluebell x

[DBSwofford]

5 Stars. Awesome poem, good pics, good music. :)

[landofhealth]

thank you DBS xx

[christy1710]

beautiful poem

[landofhealth]

thank you christy xx bluebell

[landofhealth]

thank u christy. peace to you x

[krakers251]

:) wery nice im BPD 2.. our kind of people are gifted:) that is true.. hmm... plz take these words from me to your heart.. it`s from my book...

"Take These Rose Str8 From My Heart,

From Now No One Will Newer Tear Us A Part,

Our Love Is Endles And Will Live For Ever,

I Wana Hear Your Laugh,

See You Smile,

And Be Whit You..Together,

From These Day To The End Of Time,

Beliewe In Our Love,

So We`ll Never Die..."

[landofhealth]

hi kraker.. what heartwarming words.. thank you. hugs, bluebell x

[Elfenblut]

your poem is incredible *-*

[landofhealth]

thank you soooo much.. that really means a lot to me. the misic is from the soundtrack of the movie american beauty( great movie!) but not sure what the actual title is called, tho it's on the soundrack album to the movie.

hugs bluebell x

[landofhealth]

thank you so much sweetie x

[RiotGrrrlLogic]

That was beautiful.

[daria100685]

Landofhealth... what a great video. What is the title of the poem and who is it by?

[landofhealth]

aww thanks.. i worte the poem myself!! its by me!! hugs xx

[sigmundbombas]

thank you my friend..

it has been such a journey trought this personality disorder...

the moods, the strange desires, the lost loves, the people that died in your mind, and the times that you already think that you where dead...but we are living...

we try to have jobs, to study, to love, in a search for humbleness... not asking life to give you the best, but only what you deserve... a little piece of that continuous feeling of love...that could keep you together... kisses for everyone.

[landofhealth]

thank you too.. love is def the answer to healing. hugs x

[silvershan]

weird as weird gets much!

[landofhealth]

it is a lovely song its the theme from the movie american beauty. hugs bluebell x

[almostfamousfour]

i love this. what is the song

[candy3A3Z]

Beautiful. You have such a gift of self-expression. I am struggling right now, but this helps a lot. Thanks for posting.

[landofhealth]

thank you candy.. im sorry you're struggling.. how are you now? hugs for healing. bluebell x

[landofhealth]

thank you hon.. you're a star and really sorry things are hard for you too.

i'mm message you soon.. im so tired today.. going to bed.. love, bluebell x

[landofhealth]

i hope you can too raegean.. i'm soo lost and low .. i think ive really hit rock bottom. big healing hug to you, bluebell x

[Raegean]

Don't let it win. You can email me whenever you want because I'm NEVER going to not understand. I'm having a hard time too, but there's no point in going through it alone. Even though we feel that way, we have to remember we're not.

xxx

[Raegean]

This made me cry. I wish to find my key too. I wish I could find it for you all. I know how awful it is. Stay strong.

[badnewswade]

Thanks, bluebell :-)

[landofhealth]

(((((((athreik)))))))) big hug from me..

fee.. thank you so much for saying this is your fave vid.. bless you hon.. i'm here if u ever need to talk big hugs from bluebell xx

[fee240273]

Thank you for making this avalible to us, I agree it is the best and might i add the most beautiful vid on here, Big up yerself! much love

[Athrek]

tears...

[landofhealth]

hi wanza.. thank you.. yep we so need roots and a safe space in order to heal. big hug, blue x

[wanza11]

Thank you for sharing this video.

People affected by BPD need roots so bad

They need to know where their home is

Home as a safe place where they will be accepted as a whole

[starvemebeautiful0]

i can't stop crying. thats one of the most powerful videos ive ever seen.

[landofhealth]

hi starve me.. thank you for your comment. seding you much love, blue xx

[mirancs8]

Wow that made me cry! Excellent!

[landofhealth]

OMG!! thank you so much greenlight.. bless ya!

hugs, bluebell x

[greenlightblackwall]

Wow. Best bpd vid on youtube without a doubt. Loooooooooooooooooooooooooove it xxxxxxxxxxxx

[landofhealth]

hi crash.. its from the movie american beauty but not sure what the song is called. hugs, blue x

[crashtestjonny]

would anyone know who the artist is that composes the music on this video? Thanks

[xcrackedinsidex]

slowasscivic im the same as you

[nikko669]

Landofhealth how are u? i have cut since last time we talked, ashamed but feel great! THAT SOUNDS SO SICK BUT WHATEVA. hope everythings workin out for you!

[landofhealth]

thank you both for your kind comments. hugs to you both .. blue x

[aperfectingangel]

Great job on this video! I think we are exceptional people to suffer from this illness and survive. We are very sensitive emotionally, but because of it very strong. We underestimate ourselves way too much. We are more perfect than we realize ;)

[mightygratefulbibi]

This is a good one.  I am a clinician working with BPD's. It seems to be an illness that is all about vulnerability. I love what this video said about it.

[tangoshoes84]

beautiful. i have bpd. this just touched me. the only vid on here that makes me cry, effortlessly. it really explained bpd simply and honestly. thank you.

[leighannenoelle]

That was beautiful....and generally I'm hard to please, ha ha, so that's saying a lot. I find a lot of poetry really cheezy, but this one wasn't. It was made all the more better with the imagery. Good job, for real!

[landofhealth]

aw thank you!! .. i find a lot of poetry cheesy too!! i appreciate your lovely comments. hugs, bluebell x

[slowasscivic]

This was too depressing and hit so close to home.. And I am not a girl but I do have bpd...

[landofhealth]

oh no.. sorry you found it depressing.. there is hope!! i have orted out a few bpd traits over the years!! hugs, bluebell x

[CANYONMOON]

oh god, this makes me so sad I can't stand it. I know I am not alone in these feelings, but sometimes it feels that way.

[katyp1203]

Very well done and brilliantly written!

[landofhealth]

thank you!! bless you half4 .. i take it you may have bpd.. i wish you recovery. hugs, bluebell xx

[half4uhalf4me]

very nicely done. I connect well. Keep up the beautiful work.

missy

[slider3322]

What is the music that you used for this? It is so familiar, but I can't place it, it's driving me crazy! Also nice poem, very expressive.

[landofhealth]

hi slider lol!.. its the theme to the movie anerican beauty.. its lovely music. hugs bluebell x

[landofhealth]

the music is the theme tune to the movie American Beauty. hugs, blue x

[slider3322]

OF COURSE!! haha, I knew I knew it! Thanks!

[landofhealth]

lol!! it is such a beautiful piece of music, plus i rate the movie too! bluebell x

[1GreyWolf]

Simply stated, I really do think I understand, for there are so many within in this that apply to me, yet others that do not. Hmmm. I have found roots, a home, a place where I can find some comfort.

May your steps be guided and well placed,

GreyWolf

[stopselfinjury]

Thanks for creating a video on these issues. There is hope to recover from self injury, I did after 15 years, anyone can. message me for more info. liked the poem and the art. Keep writing poems. Thats a safe healthy way to cope

[landofhealth]

hi there.. thak you for your message.. you've done so well stopping self injury.. i haven't cut for 2 years but i get BAD urges still.. the reason why i stopped was cos my boyfriend said he'd leave me if i cut, so i suppose it was a blessing in disguise really.

i find if i include si in my vids and writing it stops the urge cos im letting my pain out.

peace and hugs, bluebell x