G.I. Joe Review

[THEWATCHERISLOOKING]

I agree with the Marlon Wayan. He sucks.. The casting was terrible. The storyline was weak. The movie felt a big budget B Movie. I just hope they kill off ripcord in the opening credits of the next movie. And i agree with most of what you said. I had a an extreme problem with the casting. Brandon Frasier maybe was like Sgt. Slaughter of today.

[MrSlm1982]

IT SUCKED!!!!!!!

[kiatiming101]

They really should take a page from G.I. Resolute. To me it's the best. 

[xPurpleDrinkx9001]

Wow the nerd vibe in this comment board is overwhelming. Everyone is filling up their 400 character boxes with complaints about how the story wasnt accurate to the franchise. That being said, the story sucked. I wish all comic book movies were as well done as the first 2 Spiderman movies, but that would be a perfect world. The only thing i disagree with Movieblog is that the classic one liners were fillers to trick the audience into thinking that the film makers stuck the franchise to its roots.

[NativeMMA]

The only thing that I really liked about G.I Joe: Rise of Cobra, even before watching it and I've never read the comics or watch the television show at all. But I knew I was going to like the rivalry between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, just by watching the trailer. Not only was their fight scenes awesome, but their shared past was very interesting.

I agree with you John, I would have been happy with 2 hour movie about those two and I wouldn't have any complains.

[Beardnor]

The GI JOE live action film deserves every bad review it gets.

They destroyed the story, they had a director who didn't respect all the source material... The cartoon isn't the only thing people remember and love. It's the comics (which took gijoe seriously btw) were amazing.

All the backstories were wrong, the actors chosen (minus stormshadow... he was awesome) were terrible. And they even f'd up snake eyes's costume. Like come on.... lips on a ninja mask? This film was outrageously bad.

[XXTHE12THMANXX]

WORST MOVIE EVER

[sasukefan012345]

@XXTHE12THMANXX  i agree

[Ostnizdasht206]

I liked it. I agree it wasn't AMAZING but I was entertained..

[kalsolarUK]

Wall to wall cgi action is all that I will remember from this movie sadly. There was just soooooooo much action it just washes over you to a point where you actually don't care in the end. Some of the Cgi stuff in Paris looks awful in contrast to some really great action in other parts. It's not a movie you will watch twice unless you're a fan.

[FireScorpion343]

It was just to to much cgi action, if they took the time to actually make a good background it would be a little better, also I wish they actually took the TIME (which they said they did but they didn't) to review the background of the joes and cobras, I didn't like the back story rex mostly cause am a big cobra commander fan, but those are the only bad things i can say about the movie so if your a fan of the 80's cartoon and comic your not going 2 b happy, but it is a fun movie for kids.

[laxAddict992]

this movie sucked im sorry i thought i was going to love it but it sucked flat out

[DallaDalla12]

Watch District 9 one ot the best movies i've ever seen

[NativeMMA]

@DallaDalla12 Yeah John, you should review District 9.

In my opinion, District 9 is one of the best science fiction films I've ever seen.

It can hold it's own along with other sci-fi epics like: The Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Alien, Aliens, Star Wars: A New Hope, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Blade Runner, etc.

[EiCoolguy]

@DallaDalla12 Great FILM! ALSO, great review! But if you like District 9, one of the leads is in White Wedding, which really showcases his talents. Both of you should check out some clips on whiteweddingmovie. com. GREAT REVIEW JUST SUBBED

[bubbajr19]

Stormshadow and Snakeyes could have esily had a movie 2 themselves.If they did an origin movie of those two characters about how they were growing up together as rivals and brothers it would b awesome.

[44excalibur]

Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow did NOT grow up together as rivals! The movie got that totally wrong! He met Tommy(Storm Shadow) Arishikage when he enlisted in the Army and the two of them served together in combat. When Snake Eyes' family was killed in a car accident just as he was returning home from his tour of duty, he left the U.S. to join Tommy's "family business", i.e. ninja clan. And any origin movie would also have to include how Snake Eyes and Scarlett met and fell in love.

[deadreckoning813]

The story was really bad for the most part. I think it had a lot of holes like how her brother survived the explosion but when im sitting at home on a lazy saterday this was entertaining for a few hours. It is a bad movie but it's a bad movie that is kinda fun to watch and it standable.

[44excalibur]

That's because that never happened in the comics. The helicopter explosion is what happened to Snake Eyes which is why his face was scarred and his vocal chords were damaged. The movie just took a lot of Snake Eyes' backstory from the comcis and spread it around to Duke and the Commander. The Baroness never blamed Duke for her brother's death, she blamed Snake Eyes.

[MattDdirector]

I hear ya, I too am very picky about my action scenes in movies. I hate the action in Transformers and other movies where the camera is too bumpy. For my money it doesn't get any better then the Matrix highway chase scene, or the Truck scene in Raiders of the lost ark. Die Hard 4 had some good actions scenes too.. where u could actually see whats going on

[papuou]

why do keep saying "suck and suck hard". u want a dick in your mouth

[MegaTwinkster]

gi was the number one movie of the year next to star trek and marlon wayans was funny. you do excactly what i say when i say it yes daddy

[storkyoov405]

Jesus, Duke is the WORST acter.

Stormshadow and Snake Eyes were

the only best characters in the movie. [Scene whys and action whys]

[DarthGaras]

Terrible movie. The only pluses as you said were the ninjas and the women were hawt.

[GrayWoIf]

At times he kinds of reminds me of

Robert De Niro

[MrXXOOXX]

The only thing i liked abt the movie is snake eyes and storm shadow fight scenes the rest sucked.

[RofIStomper]

GI was horrible

[Remzi101]

van helsing was siik and mummy 1 was sik and g i jo last night i seen was siik

[phillitupp]

Funny that Remzi101 because I was sick watching all three of those films. and I mean puke out the mouth sick.

[Remzi101]

hahahah shut the fuck up

[crazypete3]

the funny thing is everyone who is like 20+ hate GI Joe, or transformers 2, and for me (15) it was good

[RocknRoll707]

sucked

[busterread]

saw it, and i'll agrre with you didn't suck but stilll not good.

a point I would like to raise is that they coped out on princibles like they did with Superman. G.I. Joe a real AMERICAN hero. in the movie thay presented it as muli-nattional conglomerate overseen by the U.N.

[TrackStar1063]

I agree with most everything you said. yes the acting was terrible, the dialogue was terrible, the plot was worse than terrible, but i also thought the action scenes were bad. overall i would give this movie probably only a 1 or 2 out of ten.

[iwanttofight69]

Was here alot of good fighting in this movie??

[finbomartini]

why is everyone giving this film mediocre reviews? WHY THE FUCK! I WOULD RATHER WATCH SOMEONE TAKE A SHIT!!!

[TheComedyfan123]

Does that mean you liked the movie?

[TedDibiasePriceless]

i agree it was better than the bad reviews people are giving gi joe. stop the bad reviews!

[Creaturelover18]

Snake Eyes is Ray Park?!! Oooh, that explains his awesome moves xD

[shaanhurley]

The only thing i liked was the 2 fights betwwen snake eyes and storm shadow

[wotwhatw00t]

the movie was too cheesy for me

[HeroOfCanton99]

That's dissapointing that Dennis Quaid is no good in this movie. I thought he was going to be the one exception in the cast

[ReviewForReel]

This was an okay movie. However the story line with Duke, Baroness, and Cobra Commander makes no sense

[tiggerjjj]

I totally agree. It was a pleasant surprise but I'm not gonna see the sequal(if it happens) unless storm shadow is in it.

I made the acoount so I could comment on you :)

[Feijoada1]

Also Snake Eyes & Storm Shadow, CC & Baroness were ruined. Turning Baroness into good & CC her brother was dumb.

Snake Eyes story is supposed to be he was burned from saving Scarlett from a helicopter which is why they like each other. Zartan is supposed to have killed their master & Storm only joined Cobra to find out who did it. before that, Storm & Snake served together in the war with Stalker. This makes them all less than 1 dimensional characters.

[Feijoada1]

Channing Tatum was a male stripper so Hollywood hired him mainly just for his looks. He's pretty much a male version of Megan Fox. Poor decision to frontline him in movies because he's so bad acting wise.

[KrazyGlueEXTREME]

I would rather have watched a two hour movie of storm shadow and snake eyes.

[SteelWool91]

Epic-Disaster movie? Like a mix of Disaster movie and Epic movie?xD

[mikeboogie25]

You know why I like your reviews? They're always fair. Leads me to believe that you know what you're talking about. Actually, you haven't been wrong yet. Good review.

[deathdriver23]

I agree with pretty much everything you said. It was definitely a fun movie to watch, and I enjoyed it, but at the same time there wasn't anything to really take away from it.

[Sotnas]

I love watching your reviews, John, but sugar and lemons? Really?

[Ardenwolfe]

Good review. Didn't know Zartan was in it.

Wolfe

[tommymontalbano]

Arnold Vosloo, whom also played Imhotep in the Mummy films

[xxwolfpred718xx]

jajajajaja epic disaster LOL that was great

[gunmetaltc05]

agreed snake eyes and storm shadow were the interesting characters in the movie

[jarios01]

well its not that bad...remember the cartoon was pretty much sci fi with all there weapons so it was ok..im going to watch it again later to nite..

[Darthbishop79]

People, G.I did not suck! I actually liked it. The plot was kinda weak towards the end sure. But look guys...this is G.I Joe, its a corny and cheesy 80's tv show, we are translating shakespeare here! To have made this movie like the dark knight or to a best picture nominee would be really stupid. This movie was made just right for the source material.

[elite0117]

i aggrea

[ZorbinEUR]

lol nice, i stil have to see it.

but i knew too it was goin to suck

[dduval59]

This movie had terrible acting, terrible plot, terrible storytelling w/ flashbacks and dialogue. BUT the chase scene in Paris is actually pretty sweet.

[cballx26]

So you could make a better story then huh?? I'd like to see you try and fail haha

[occtaviousrex]

Lol, Halo armor, ha. =]

[Shadowkirby14]

What's the rating?

[RacinZilla007]

PG-13 or IMDb gave it a strong 7.3

[issyja7]

After walking out of the theater, I felt significantly less intelligent. Everything about the movie was just plain out dumb. At least it didnt offend me like Transvestites 2

[akfhome27]

I said almost the same thing! Only I said, My brain hurts I think I killed my brain cells...lol. I new it was going to suck, just didn't think that bad! I can't even begin they don't let enough characters 2 type. Anyway, it killed the child in me...

[spiritmix]

I agree with your review. but I also want to make the comment that in my opinion it would be very difficult to bring a cartoon like GI Joe to the big screen. My opinion is that it wasdecent for what it is, a movie based on a shallow cartoon. The suits where an attempt to merge old (1980s) GI Joe with the new (2007s).

[SchnickTech]

I think the Halo suits maybe were about using motors to enhance the speed of leg movements. Like in Ironman you see in the exoskeleton of Tony Stark's Ironman suit there were what was supposed to be servo disc motors enhancing the strength of his arms and legs. Sarcos, I believe the company name is, is developing a suit for the Army to enhance the strength of soldiers to, for instance, manually load missiles onto fighter planes. Though this post is just a guess as to the Halo suits.

[rhyse007]

It felt more like a sequel to me

[kalsolarUK]

I hate shakey cam..its over-used terribly

[RicertheRacer]

what a great review !

[skalabin69]

what was G.I Joe cartoon about, it was just about kicking ass weapons and cobra retreating all the time, the fighting sequence they had underwater looked similar as the one in the cartoon, this is the thing if ppl never liked the cartoon how do you expect them to like the movie!!!! i liked it a lot bring me back to my childhood and of course there are cheesy stuff cus cartoons are cheesy, i never like what this guys say in their reviews i rather go see it and judge it myself

[SoraXRoxas13]

was it better than transformers 2 in your opinion

[dgpasion34]

no this is better than Transformer 2. it has story and the action is cool.

[Lundarigirl]

Also, no overwhelming amont of bad jokes in GI Joe, unlike Transformers 2

[asshatt1]

i wish that they just made a 2 hour gi joe resolute and put that in theaters instead of this peace of shit

[fxfranz]

Zartan played by Arnold Vosloo

i think he also starred as Imotep in the Mummy and the Mummy Returns

loved the one liner references to the 80s show - Knowing is half the battle... (duke) he's a real american hero.... Yo Joe !

[marissa31]

I agree Stormshadow and Snake Eyes were great in the movie, and Baroness wasn't too bad.

[broadwaybound1029]

I'm glad to see you give an honest review-I enjoyed Gi Joe 1000xs more than Transformers 2.. Not a great movie-but it could of been a lot better.

[smithy0782]

You hit the nail correctly. This movie is bad but not shitty. I like to see a good movie so I'm a plot and story movie watcher. None or those aspects are there. Acting was really bad all the way around. Baroness and Scarlet look like they are ready to shoot a porno scene at any moment(which isn't a bad thing but.) Within the first thirty minutes I knew who the shady lead villian was going to be. Much like Transformers 2 fanboys will swear by it and actual movie goers will trash it.

[MaxlovesCartoons001]

I completely agree with you, John. I saw GI Joe: Rise of the Cobra recently, and it was a hlaf-hearted effort with some small good ideas.

[Cozenlee]

Marlon Wayans was really good in Requiem For A Dream.

[stefanybody]

i think were this movie wrong, is that they did not keep to the cartoon way,

and these movie producers proably picked the worst actors in hollywood,

marlon wayans? what a joke,

rachel nicols? not even a redhead and she looks mean and bitchy, and a boaring actress

chanum tatum, looks gay as hell, and 20 pounds soaking wett, and they put him as duke? what a messss

brandon fraiser? lolllllll

this movie is a joke,

terrible actors,

[stefanybody]

great comment, sounds very honest, i havent seen this movie but the commercial looks far from the cartoons,

and these shitty producers should know thats what fans wanna see, something like the cartoon, but they wanna change it around and thats a fatal mistake,

i also think they could have done a better job, finding a more convincing baroness, and scarlett,

you can tell the producers just hired a bunch of young hollywood punks that have minimal acting skills!!!!!!

[NCBCSPRINGRETREAT]

You do such a great job reviewing movies man; I appreciate your sincerity and intelligence when analyzing the films, and you know what you're talking about so I generally can trust what you say. Keep it up man!!!

[yaynorth123]

damn john, i thought the only good thing in this movie would be christopher eccleston

[darkwatch1234]

It seems to me like just another superhero movie where they have a shitty plot line, and good fight scenes so people think its good. When in all reality they just throw in explosions and fights to make it seem good.

[greyfoxyo]

finally a true movie review, im tired of sloppy critics that give shity reviews, the only thing some of the so call top critics say is dumb shit like this movie is only about weapons or that this movie just sucks, but they dont say why or whats the problem they just call it garbage but with no god damm explanation, i cant believe that they get paid to copy other reviews, so thanks for actually explaining your pros and cons, good review

[carsonnik]

Non-shaky action sequences? No fucking way. I don't beileve it. That's almost enough to convince me to see it. Good to hear though

[angelV1]

I liked it, I liked it alot!

[elite0117]

yea i don't know whats wrong with it, people and critics don't know an action movie when they see one like transfomers 2 i thought that movie was awsome

[bbqguy44]

who plays destro?

[Wanttowrite]

Christopher Eccleston, the Ninth Doctor Who

[dragonzith]

so how was Cobra, no one seens to mention him.

[jmctigret]

I just came back from seeing it and I agree with your review. I do have to say I was entertain with this cheesy movie.

Hey John what do you think of this summers movies? I thought last year was much better,,,,my two favorite are Star Trek and Up for this summer.

[darklunarwolf]

I thought Channing was the worst. He took the bad dialogue and made it worse.

[stev1212]

I would seriously love your job man, i love movies and giving a opinion on them. :(

[UmbreonFromTheShadow]

Really i expected it would suck horribly with no upsides lol

[videomaker74]

first: omg nice wok i love the way you review