MST3k.s10.e03 - Merlin's Shop Of Mystical Wonders

[ToyotaGuy1971]

i utterly loathe you, ya wanna have a baby? HAHA!

[hyenalord]

Man, if only they'd known that there would, in fact, be a career in internet reviewing by just making fun of obscure things that no one actually knew existed before the review.

It's like some kind of reverse prophet.

[Trancemaster2052]

Thank you so much for uploading this. My ex threw away alot of things that were in storage including most of my mst3k collection so re-collecting all of the episodes has been difficult but it's great to watch episodes on here in the meantime. Very much appreciated.

[RandyLahey911]

ya know, a devil!

[RandyLahey911]

Im Bob Jackass III

[SeeSamSit]

The megalomaniac columnist is one of my favorite MST3K characters ever. "All right, show some respect, old man, or I'll put a column in my paper so scathing, you'll lose your customer!"

[HenryvKeiper]

@SeeSamSit "Look, my reviews have destroyed whole cities!!"

[scoobyrds]

You're welcome!

[JTFT213]

Theres a my little pony fanfiction based on that demonic monkey

[jarvisel]

THANK YOU!!!

[metallavery]

Ever heard of Rifftrax?

[RachelSummers777]

"Bonjour my friend!" Because all monkeys are French. ^_^

[thefaboloussob]

"...& Nightcrawlers."

[Easttexasbaby1]

The ants have been screwing with her like this for years. LMAO

[Ontarioku77]

was merlin holding down the shop for the Cryptkeeper?

[Morzox]

ROCK AND ROLL MARTIAN

[PANCAKEMINEZZ]

the guy at the end that said i love bags sounded like caboose

[paranormalrealm13]

@PANCAKEMINEZZ That was Kevin Murphy who is also the voice of Tom Servo. And you are right, he did sound like Caboose.lol

[PANCAKEMINEZZ]

the early years of the last exorcism

[PANCAKEMINEZZ]

yea his ass-holy demon

[PANCAKEMINEZZ]

When skyrim meets the 20th century

[PANCAKEMINEZZ]

joel was better in this show mike is kinda weird

[TheDeadhead76]

"lets see,if I open another beer now it will save me time later"

[TheHilaryYoung]

PS. I tried to make my username just HilaryYoung but for some reason it picked that one for me. Sigh. 

[TheHilaryYoung]

Hi Turnerjer0000 I think I should probably be embarrassed to admit this but I played Nicholas's mom - Susan and was the makeup artist for the show. It was fun, a really long time ago and before I started spelling my name with one L…

[TheHilaryYoung]

Ha! I cant believe this is still around. We made this movie over 20 years ago!!! When they finally were about to air it they had to use another actress to dub my voice since the sound quality when we were shooting on the street was so bad. good times :)

Bunny and George were two of the nicest people I have every worked with.

[turnerjer0000]

@TheHilaryYoung are you for-realsies? You were involved in making this movie? What did you do?

[Apollomasque]

@TheHilaryYoung Who did you play? One of the moms? The Psychic?

[JCMotorsOfficial]

@Apollomasque She Played Nicholas' Mother

[RandyLahey911]

@TheHilaryYoung haha you made this?? but why?

[theMAG101]

I want to bust out "My sperm is top notch, it's her" next time I address a third party in an unrelated debate with a female.

[lovegoodglmrs]

thanku for uploading this! it cheered me up so much.

makes me wanna give mike and the bots a big hug.

"This is the Evil Toy Monkey, for Polident."

[Yoshimstr]

I knew I recognized that name! Ernest Borgnine is the voice of Mermaidman!

[EnjiBEARatsu]

To anyone who is even remotely interested in how the original movie ended (Devil's Gift), I uploaded it here....

watch?v=RrLLJigFM8w

[durane42]

With Mitch McConnell as the fortuneteller!

[WillowBlackThistle]

I used to watch that balloon cartoon when I was little. . . maybe that explains the murders. . .

[thefaboloussob]

1:06:56 1. Sensitive area?! 2. & the foley artist wobbles that metal sheet. C'ing that this is the 21st worst film on IMDb, I have a strong hunch it is a metal sheet. (as opposed to the more digital way of merely pushing a button), Frank.

[thefaboloussob]

40:21 Was that puppetry inspired by the close-up scenes of the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog? (Even so, they didn't imit8 nor emuL8.)

[thefaboloussob]

6:16 You'd think w/ a actress called Bunny Summers, she would b young & voluptuous or aging disgracefully. When the movie ended, she was neither.

11:08 Crystal balls. huh huh huh. I also just noticed Borgnine maid the hand gesture of cuppin' those crystal balls.

[thefaboloussob]

11:58 "Grampa Borgnine? Will this story be as long as the one Dad told me about how he met Mom along w/ the 3 relatives I don't give a damn about? He told it for, like, 7 years or so!"

[thefaboloussob]

6:04 Oh, Servo is imitating the seer. I thought he just had a 'tude while after a decade of offensive cinema.

[thefaboloussob]

1:21:59 "Damn. I didn't think you'd dress up precisely like in your Facebook picture."

[thefaboloussob]

"Uh oh." "I farted!" lol Perhaps this was during the years that "fart" was no longer a cuss word. But somehow that simple delivery of that reply made it the arguably funniest riff of this episode.

[TheLadyBandit]

I'm Bob Jackass!

[flyinwalenda]

Have you seen my little monkey ? HA !

[Hakkai87]

Merlin's wife was Nimue! If you're gonna kill the Merlin myth at least have the grace to do it accurately! Actually she didn't even marry him and was his ultimate downfall....

[greenragdoll666]

merlin's hop?

[Tustin2121]

(Last comment, I promise) I'm surprised the guys didn't say anything about the "Whimsical Anticipation Violins" at 15:00 - I mean, they're everywhere! XD

[Tustin2121]

Dude, that second short had my heart pounding the whole time. Though now that I know what @ArmorArmadillo said, that initial scene with the house blowing up does fit in more with the second short, and Merlin was just kinda stuck in there later.

I mean, after Merlin stopped it in the end I was screaming at the screen "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MERLIN?! GO COMFORT THE FAMILY YOU JUST SCREWED UP, YOU WHIMSICAL BASTARD!!!" I mean, you don't even see them at the end! Did they all die (in the original)??

[untunedguitar45]

@Tustin2121 yes they do

[rettic]

You're welcome!

[dominickkk5]

ritz?

[iamsage14]

“merlin was a thieving crackhead who fenced VCR's to feed his habit”

[shandelear]

Borgnine loves to work

[armagatron]

16:35 YOU SHALL NOT PASS..

on these amazing deals

[OonaCanute]

"You're welcome!"

[Leatherbubba]

Merlon,you bastard!

You blew it up!

[Pingmeister1985]

"Ooo. Well, gotta get back to ABBA."

[jchristian3]

It just goes to show how little thought the writers put into this, Mr Cooper's line about "it's people like you that let this kind of exploitation go on" actually undercuts his jerkiness and makes him completely sympathetic.

[Tustin2121]

@jchristian3 No, no, sorry, he's still a jackass, not sympathetic. If anything, that line makes him more cynical! I mean, I would have thought the same things about merlin that he did, but I certainly wouldn't have SAID IT TO MERLIN'S FACE! I mean, he just started up his tape recorder right there and said what he was thinking! ( 22:45 ) I would have at least jotted it down quietly! He's a pompous self-aggrandizing asshole, not sympathetic!

[jchristian3]

I bid you LICK me

[SomeDumbKid1]

What's the best way to apeal to your audiance? Kill cute animals!

[gussiejives]

"Rock and roll martian! Rock and roll martian!!

[NorwichTeenwolf]

I've seen almost every MST episode, but 'Merlin' must be the most ill-advised, cynical and pointlessly misanthropic of all the films featured. Coleman Francis and Ed Wood had nothing on this piece of crap. And the first story ripped off the Twilight Zone episode 'A Short Drink from a Certain Fountain'.

[Yapshire]

I'm glad this couple can't have a baby because ugly, dumb people shouldn't reproduce.

[patricivan]

The monkey part is a Stephen King story! It's almost exactly the same, except instead of drowning it he buries it. Y'know, for kids!

[Conholt]

50:00

[ErichoTTA]

Wow, a smelly used toy!

[Trilogy0087]

You're weeellllcommeee!!

[sillygoose544]

The great thing about watching MST3K on the net is that you can google their occasional obscure references. I didn't know who Alistair Sim was, so I looked it up. Now I'm enriched.

[jchristian3]

Borgnine: You see Billy, Mr. Cooper had secretly gotten a vasectomy. He didn't want to divorce Madeline, but he felt kids would cramp his style.

Billy: ...

[jeeprnovru]

Its just a rock.(Like your womb!) lulz

[Khameleon808]

Press 6 for sum ROCK N ROLL MARTIAN

[westben2000]

"A story inspired by sigmand freud"

best riff of the movie

[ForceMaximus84]

"Wahh." LOL

[EdwFam2010]

ernest borgnine is mermaid man as a satanist

[frenchmanfresh1]

Remember to believe in magic...or i'll kill you!!! XD

[RandyLahey911]

@frenchmanfresh1 ha ah hahahaha

[mangamania100]

save it for Carson, grandpa

[PikachuColoredPichu1]

The ants have been screwing with her like this for years.

Kiss...my...HEY!

[MrUnionJackal]

Watching this hung over and that part with the seance is CRUSHING me. Still one of my favorites (and the exterior shots of the shop were filmed in my home town!)

[EmmaOnATangent]

Her house is HO scale! Hahahahahaaaa!

[unknownodin]

0:55:00 Did that kid say thats TUPAC is dead?!?

[Pothatuu]

"Uh oh, I farted."

[TPrower]

I know it isn't, but I could almost swear Zurella sounds like Estelle Harris.

[TPrower]

I think I just found a new favorite, and full length too. =D

"You're welcome!"

[piemanpie2424]

...

The Grandpa is Mermaid Man...

Of course! No wonder his story is so EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL

[AsAboveItIsBelow]

Isn't Mike drinking out of a trick mug?

[VTPPGLVR]

So, cymbal-clanging monkeys cause death. I think triangle-playing lemurs cause mild discomfort.

[pretorious700]

@VTPPGLVR tambourine bashing baboons give you gas

[VTPPGLVR]

Never thought that a movie called "Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders" could be one of the most disturbing movies to me! (-.-)

Anyone else surprised that Mike & Co. didn't point out the fact that the kid somehow knew the word "clairvoyant" yet not "psychic"?

[villainskateboardco]

He blamed your wiener. OMG I'm dying!! LOL

[pinkdevil97]

I remember this from when i was little!

[EmilyDNelson]

Fuck this movie. My dog just died and killing Sparkle made me sad :(

Numb my pain, Mike and Bots.

[ForlornCupid]

"Get the gun." lol

[Soap513]

If I remember correctly, Stephen King wrote a short story about one of those demonic monkeys with the cymbals

[Phantomjudg3]

@Soap513 yes he did. I think it was on Skeleton Crew.

[Izekial56]

@Soap513 Yes he did, it was entitled "The Monkey" from his short story collection "Skeleton Crew", which Ernest Borgnine totally ripped off!

[Nixel85]

"There's something else Satan created: Japanimation"

....you're welcome"

[MrWoodywoodward27]

passed out while filling the tub. lmao

[HushOnHellsHorizon]

"Remember to believe in magic!....Or I'll Kill You!"

[farrarjr3]

Kevin Murphy(Tom Servo), in an interview, mentioned that this is probably his favorite episode. It sounds like they are having a lot of fun making it, too.

[farrarjr3]

Long Live Mystery Science Theater!

[RichardKleiner]

I don't live in the US, but one time I was visiting, I saw this exact episode on the exact date it was first aired on TV. I liked it very much, and wanted to see more of it, alas...

[RichterTheEternal]

Uh...why didn't Borgnine just make this a flat out Merlin horror movie? It looks like the direction he wanted to take it. Even going so far as to use the last half of his movie with mostly footage from another horror movie. Why advertise this as a kid's movie? Just because you have kids in it doesn't mean they should watch a movie with horror elements.

[frostgiant7]

If all it takes is not clapping to stop the monkey, just cut of one of the cymbals, or tape fuzz to one end. Simple.

[kenanscott24]

do do do do do Do!

[alexiaNBC]

Man, the crew missed good opportunities to make some Lord of the Rings references.

[GeishaShattori]

@alexiaNBC I know! They usually make a lot of Tolkien jokes, but not in this for some reason (except for one about Shadowfax). Imagine if they had done this episode now, they'd be making tons of "Harry Potter" jokes as well!

[deskish]

is this like Master ninja or riding with death, where they just put two episodes together and called it a movie?

[BobaBaggins]

They killed a cat *and* a dog? Seriously, fuck this movie.

Funny riffing though.

[pretorious700]

@BobaBaggins Uh, they were only pet actors, and the film wasn't real.....so really, just relax.

[BobaBaggins]

@pretorious700 I realize the movie isn't real, and they didn't actually kill a dog and a cat. My point is that there's no "mystical wonder" about this movie. There's nothing whimsical about killing a cat, a dog, and almost killing a kid.

[pretorious700]

@BobaBaggins True, you make a good point about this film. It is odious.

[ArmorArmadillo]

@BobaBaggins Well, the history of this film was that its two shorts were written as episodes of different horror series and the second was shot, but then the project was scrapped. Eventually Hollywood got the idea that family films were easy money, so they dug up the old footage, shot the most family friendly remaining script puffed it out with some extra shots and tried to package it as a family movie on the cheap. At no point did someone stop and say "Did they just kill the dog?"

[DingusStudley]

@ArmorArmadillo They also didn't think that you can clearly tell the movies were filmed in different decades(or that they at least look like it)

[superstaff]

@pretorious700 The show only wants you to 'sit back and relax' and not sweat the minor details about the ship, the mad scientist keeping them captive, etc. They're not telling you to settle down and enjoy the horrible movies they show. :/

[pretorious700]

@superstaff Thanks for the clarification einstein

[superstaff]

@pretorious700 Hey, I'm not the one making incredibly stupid comments.

[Shadowlynk]

@BobaBaggins And some old lady playing with a Ouija board. And a fish. And a few houseplants, that somehow sprang back to life in time for Grandma to come home. And a fly. Poor fly. Didn't ask to be in this movie. ;)

[doodstormer]

"It wasn't that scary."

"Oh no?" *ominous chuckling*

And then the nightmare began.

[Imawizardbro]

"Does he have a sea turtle under his sweater vest?"

[Imawizardbro]

"It's nothing more then a rock"

"Like your womb"

LMFAO...

[belladonna4577]

ROFLMAO@"that's it, look at the monkey..."

i seriously cannot stop laughing XD.

[sexyglexy]

I'm Bob Jackass!

[Bashebabe]

You know what makes this episode 10x funnier? Closed Captioning by Youtube

[jleoriane]

@Bashebabe it's like a game of a mad gab

"listener meal b_-one if you give me something to write home about you're quiet little shop is history"

[dtmoore500]

The cat was made of oily rags!!!

[KakkoiiSasuke]

Remember to believe in magic, or I'll kill you.

[Oppeldeldoc1]

Speaking of Poseidon Adventure, Merlin's wife always reminds me of Shelley Winters. It's too bad she and Ernest Borgnine didn't have a scene together.

[brianberek]

THANK YOU EPHSAUCE!!!!

[Shadowlynk]

My reviews have destroyed whole cities! Luckily, I review this episode (and this video) A+! You shall live... this time.

[RoyStorey]

hahah "man i love glendale" gets me everytime i watch this

[ZRtheHedgehog77]

I hate it when the Credit music hit's it really makes me sad to see MST3K go. :(

[Groth1175]

I LOVE YOU MERMAID MAAAAN!

[montyburns9999]

The audio on this upload is super! Thanks ephsauce sooooo much!!!!

Watch out for snakes!

[RobertMuldooJP]

I love this episode of MST3K...the film makes absolutely no sense. "Hmm...Borgnine forgot to write this in"

[LOGAN97sk8s]

This was a disturbing kids movie. There was an infertile couple, a demonic toy monkey that tries to kill everyone, a guy roast his cat, and a dog that chokes on car fumes. I felt a little down after I saw this movie.

[amcint01]

Damn youtube for taking down these videos. If they had a store, I'd write a review and crush it.

[Reviresco]

@amcint01 That took me a minute.

[Pivotchop]

@amcint01 oh Blasted Youtube! Now i gotta send them to hell.

[KakkoiiSasuke]

@Pivotchop Yeah, that protrudes my neck cords.

[KakkoiiSasuke]

@amcint01 My cheek lines disagree.

[Freeisme]

@amcint01

Shit, the cast encouraged the spreading of the show via VHS back in the day. I think they are excited we are still watching it on YouTube now.

[gussiejives]

Hey, it's Data's mom!

[CarolinaOcelot]

The Chessmaster 3000 reference is the greatest thing ever.

[Elyzater]

The quality of this video is so much better than the others.

[Hallinilla9]

What a miserable movie.

[12Zwolf]

; Rock 'n' Roll Martian!

[royalsapien]

Thank you for uploading this. The world needs more MST3k.

[binaryfruit]

I don't know why this version of the episode isn't more popular. It's a lot more convenient having it all on one video. Maybe people aren't happy with the loading time...? I don't mind. Patience! Discipline!

[ephsauce]

@binaryfruit It's only been up for a couple weeks, but we must keep the faith! :D

[Elyzater]

@binaryfruit Oh , they probably haven't got all day.

[EdwFam2010]

@binaryfruit I like this way better. Just sit back, watch & laff ur a** off!!!!! Thanx!

[JRodHacker]

@binaryfruit hey, have you gotten any other comments about the video stopping at 0:33:38? I can click on an earlier part, and it plays, but once it gets there again it stops. I can't skip ahead either, and the little loading dots moving in a circle aren't there so I know it's not loading. I'm stumped on this!

[ohgee81]

I love all MST3K! The cornier the better says this Satan worshiper :-)

[shenloken2]

@ohgee81 "Thanks kid...you're now part of the dark army." >:-3

[Tareltonlives]

This is what happens to Hogwarts dropouts. Sad.

[Tareltonlives]

Mixing The Devil's Gift with a kid's story makes as much sense as mixing Cujo with Clifford.

[jedimouse]

mst3k, minecraft and wolfenstein?! I am impressed!

[ephsauce]

@jedimouse Variety is the spice of life! :D 

[SuperTomServo]

@ephsauce more mst3k

[ephsauce]

@SuperTomServo Five more going up, o' great Servo. :3

[SuperTomServo]

@ephsauce k