DEBATE & DISCUSSION: DATING, DISCIPLINE AND YOUR CHILD

[MichaelPAUSA]

Smart woman (smiles).

[aylix89]

no. i would never try to replace that childs father. i wouldnt allow him to psychically reprimand my child. but my child would see him an authority figure. but i would that man know his boundaries and rule when talking to my child

[mzcool71]

only the parents of the child can and should discipline their child. black women so quick to let their men pretend to be dad to achild that not theirs !!!!!!!!!!!!!. . children must be taught to respect others. single women who have boyfriends need to be aware that this men are mor prone to beat and abuse their children real talk

[giggles771984]

thank you thank you thank you, i work with kids and i couldnt agree with you more

[dillinger4875]

Excellent video, Real Talk.

[3HRDWAY]

Iv been thru tht but the guy showed favortizum towards one of my othr children but wanted the othr to "do as I say" and I wasnt with tht!, u cleared tht up for me but the guy has to treat all the "lil pkgs" the same, my kids, well one do "test" the guy but hell! Shes protecting her momma the ONLY ONE whos been thr for her from day one, and if a guy dont like it he can cont. Whr he left off, keep it moving... Tht was a sour relationship it went nowhr fast but this one thr comfy with :-)

[ynobe504]

it's interesting that you say african proverb..i have friend that is a single parent, who claims to believe the same. the most ironic thing is she corrects people for correcting her children. bottom line they're rude and unruly. she gets offended when close friends and family bring this to her attention..so i'm glad you put this debate out for discussion..

[ije1978]

I agree: the village raises the child. If you get to the point where you are introducing a significant other into your child's world, they should be able to discipline them. your children should always respect other adults. now if you do not trust that other person to do so, maybe you should not have brought them around huh? my ex had a a little girl and i let him know from day 1 that if he brings her around me, she will be treated the way i would treat my niece/nephew: with disciplining love.

[xxLondanSoothesxx]

From my point of view: there are a lot of adults who take advantage of their authority. Give the child a chance to warm up to them. It takes more than a year.

[LaidBackRealAmor]

on my child, or make them uncomfortable.

[LaidBackRealAmor]

I don't believe as a single parent that no other person besides the other parent should put their hands on my child, or raise their voice to them, but if my child was to ever get out of hand with them or with another adult I will handle my child, but I will not allow my child to be disrespectful at all to be clear, but I will not allow any one besides my childs father, my mother, grandmother, and same on her father side, because people are crazy, and I will not let anyone put their hands

[polarBEAR819]

im not a mother BUT if i was and i was single i would not be meeting a man and immediately let him even meet my child let alone disipline them. I find that there is nothing wrong with my boyfriend correcting my child as long as it doesnt go too far. ie. verbal or physical abuse. I would want to make sure the guy im dating is a decent person and someone i have a real connection with before i let him come around my kid... you have to be careful with your children cause they should always come 1st

[dreathe14u]

To add on to my previous comment, my bf has boys too....he disciplines them COMPLETELY different, b/c they are completely different kids. We both do, his boys are like testosterone OVERLOAD...literally tried to see how far they could throw the little one...and the little one was like "yeah I went far." Tough as nails...and my son is quiet and laid back. Just knowing the child should alter your discplinary tactics as parents, so it shouldn't be alarming how your partner disciplines your child.

[dreathe14u]

As a single mother, I will first say, if you are questioning your partner disciplining your child, then it's too soon for them to be around your child. These are things that should be discussed PRIOR to meeting the child so there is no confusion. If a man is around my son then that means I trust him and his judgement that he will do no harm to me or my child, so if I come home and he says, "I had to send his ass to his room ." Then I know it's for good reason, just tell me the story.

[TheLalena30]

Yes I too am engaged and I was very much open with my kids sence my oldest was 17 and my baby was 2 and I know that as a parent you can't and won't know everything about your child so being open to other adults sugestions are needed and being aware of your child's feelings is critical

[BECKMOORHOW]

AE this is a subject that is like FIRE! I was a single mom of a boy I did allow verbal discipline from any Elder that felt like he was stepping out of line (he's grown now) Fast Forward - I am married & step Mom to an 11 yr. old girl, my husband & I have Extremely different views on parenting, to which have caused ALOT of issues Btwn US = solution: I no longer parent his daughter when she comes to visit she's his responsibility! Lesson learned - While dating discuss parenting B4 you say I D

[NancyGooGoo]

Yes, yes yes! You HEARD me!!! I may not have a topic in mind but I want to know what's on YOUR mind! Fill us in! More, more, more! Lovin' it!!

[MzTura]

Yes I am a Frim believer of " It takes a Village to raise a child" Im am blessed to have a village..Thanks for doing this topic..Im not in this situation, but open form is great!

[jvbreezy]

My boyfriend is a single dad. Recently I lit into his pre-teen daughter for being disobedient. He wasn't upset with me but he downplayed her behavior (she put herself in a have been physically dangerous situation and then she lied about it, which to me is a big deal). By no means am I suggesting that he's a bad parent but I do feel that as a guy there are some things he just misses in her behavior that could ultimately be damaging to her when she becomes a woman.

[fatimama7]

My fiance was a single father. We have been together almost 4 years and he still can not handle me disciplining his daughter and reacts terribly, it definitely puts a strain on our relationship. I try and be understanding as I have no children, but it's very difficult.

[fatimama7]

Excellent topic.

[sjoyreed]

Thank you for bringing this back!

[AFRICANEXPORT]

@sjoyreed Thanks for watching

[1Serepha]

what hair are you wearing???

[AFRICANEXPORT]

@1Serepha Outre Half Wig "Nicki"

[ahallm3]

AE..Im old school i strongly believe it takes a village to raise child. Like my mom would always say to me " you never know who i know" you feel me. After my divorce the kids and i move into apartment( which is cool b/c i dont have all that yard work)...LOL,. My kids have made friends and om also friends with moms..im 1st to say it you see my child doing something they shouldnt plz tell the to stop and your tell me....When its time for you to say I do you will in the mean time get it real!!!!!

[cuprez]

You're so right! (Speaking from the perspective of the person that was the child in this situation.) There would be so many holes in my mother's marriage, if she did not allow her trusted partner to also discipline me. How would that have made him feel as a man? I am now 36 with my own husband and my mother is still married... happily!

[imafan]

I agree with you but I know a lot of single black mothers who aren't gonna agree with that at all...

[quillwritesright]

preach teach and hopefully this will reach. good topic. i am so with it takes a village to raise a child. i come from old school back when the old noisy lady on the block would holla at u then wait for ur moms to get it so she would holla and hit u too. i also cosign on that mate statement, see cause u gots to know these folks before u bring them into ur child's life. people just be letting in chester or chesterika the molester. ladies and gents be mindful who is around ur children.

[LuBellaCoils]

I guess the first thing that came to my mind was what type of discipline? The physical/spanking is very touchy. Just like a commenter said below, if they just want to discipline and not build a relationship then that will never work.

[asmeik30]

I think it's ok for him to chastise (i.e verbally correct) the child, but not spankings. There are way too many stories in the news about boyfriends (who are not the biological fathers) beating children to death in the guise of "disciplining" them.

[anissa4334]

This is a tough one.I am single mom of a 14 and 16 year old..(BOTH BOYS). Relationships are never easy especially as they get older. If they do something wrong, then yes they need to be spoken too. However, the significant other should build a relationship with those children if they plan on being there for the long haul. What I have seen is that it becomes a discipline only relationship in many situations which never helps establish that relationship.

[MsYbphony2]

The passion behind these comments are so moving. I too am a single mother of two girls and I have struggled with this for a very long time. Hence, the reason I am still single.There are many dynamics to this issue. The crazy thing about this topic I heard some brothers having this very conversation this morning. There opinions were similar, but the issue with them seemed to be the stress that this situation causes between the adults. Again,hence, the reason WE are single mothers. Moving to blog

[TrOyLiN25]

i was involved with a man (not my sons father) when he turned 2 and because he use to be the one to want to discipline my son their relationship has been terrible he is now 13 and doesn't even live with me anymore because of the situation . He has gone to live with his dad and its been a sad thing but better in some ways.

[maximuslyricus]

mate. Some may see this as extreme, but first and foremost, my the decision protects my son. Last and most certainly not least, any man worthy to have me and meant to have me would be more than willing to wait. Not only is any man who is not willing to wait not worthy of me, I have no desire for him. So it all works out for me, and most importantly, for my son.

[maximuslyricus]

Having been a stepdaughter who is now a mother, I've given this topic much thought and come to the decision that if something were to happen to my son's biological father whereby he and my son were not living under the same roof, and my son and I do live under the same roof, I will never have another man live with my son and me while my son is a minor. Rather I will wait until my son becomes an adult, and then if I desire, I will then take another

[churchnazi1]

You are on que. I work in a hospital and have seen and read about the "boyfriend" going a little too far disciplining a child.

[Qyuti3]

Soooo glad to see D&D back! I don't comment much, but I do watch and learn. ;o)

[KidneyGirl91]

if he is paying bills or contributing to the house hold " keeping a roof over the parent and childs head" than I think he should be able to discipline that child after a year chilren need to know that they will be dsciplined and respect is to be given at all times. and that was my 2 cents, lol

[berryberry87]

Can I add that I LOVE the "debate and dicussion" series!

[berryberry87]

I totally agree, Vanisha. U hit the nail on the head!! :)

[anwalker3592]

I agree Vanisha that it is ultimately the parent's job to protect the child physically and emotionally as another individual is welcomed into the family. Even with my husband and I married, it is still my job to protect my children. My girls aren't allowed running around in tight this and that. Boy and girl (whether sister brother, friend, cousin, I don't care the relation) isn't allowed in a shut/open door room together, but can interact in public areas of the house.

[anwalker3592]

As a mother, I've learned that I don't want my children to fear me, but there should be reverence similar to the way in which we respect God. For this reason I stopped hitting my children with my hands. My hands should nurture and hold them. You've seen that little one that jumps every time his mother's hands move. Yeah! My pastor once preached that we should be professionals when it comes to disciplining our children. He said, "pick your weapon and hang it in plain sight." It is to be feared!

[anwalker3592]

But, when considering a partner, with growth in the relationship respect, boundries, and acceptable forms of discipline should be addressed. Maybe in the beginning, a verbal reprimand would be allowed as long as it is performed with respect (no cursing, out of anger, or raising of the voice) and in a nurturing way.

[anwalker3592]

I have a blended family. When a parent entrusts the responsibility of discipline to another, it must be someone who has experience with children enough to discern what to discipline for, what the appropriate punishment is reguarding the misconduct, and have a system in place for the parents and children so everyone knows what to expect. I wouldn't give a 15yr old babysitter permission to physically discipline my child based on immaturity and inexperience.

[bajandesignera]

AE: I'm so glad you mentioned your long engagement. The 18th will be 5yrs I will be engaged and it's becoming harder and harder to explain that yes we are engaged yes we still love each other, but the timing for wedding planning is really off. Is it even possible to avoid the awkward 'when is the big day' questions?

[AFRICANEXPORT]

@bajandesignera MAN its definitely getting redundant, but I just keep in mind, that WE are the ones in the relationship, and if we are cool, then so should everyone else. hey just need some patience

[shariyamom]

@AFRICANEXPORT I totally respect your position and opinion. Let me offer another view. Long engagements are basically Lay a Way. You are putting your partner on hold til you become ready for marriage. Long engagements mean your not ready. Couples should step back & realize that they want exclusivity & committment however one or both partners are simply not ready to marry. 1 year is typically sufficient for an engagement. Remember its the period leading up to the event hence all those ?'s. Peace

[AFRICANEXPORT]

@shariyamom I definitely can identify with that, and Im good in knowing the truth . But I still think couples are allowed their own level of privacy when it comes to answering to others. Thanks for watching and commenting too

[shariyamom]

@AFRICANEXPORT I appreciate your response and agree couples should definitely be afforded a certain level of privacy and space to define their own reality. Blessings

[MrKsims2008]

I think I'm on the fence on this one because we are in a day and age where adults are crazy and children have more common sense than the children! However, when "can't nobody say nothing to my children" is the concept in a household; then, a child has the mentality that he doesn't have to follow the rules because he knows his guardian will come act a fool on his behalf. So, I guess my input on it is to try your best to ensure your kids are around adults you feel comfortable with correcting them

[Ahsao]

I fully agree with your points. Catch u on the blog!

[sGracestill11601]

HEY YOUR CUTENESS!! i got a topic that I feel like its kin to this...check this out..sending a video

[delite3014]

Debate and Discussion is back YAHOOOOOOO!

[Mangopassionfruit71]

I'm loving ur Blogs!

[AFRICANEXPORT]

@Mangopassionfruit71 Thanks so much . The blog is fun, I can say ANYTHING lol

[VIBlackBerri]

I am loving that scarf did u or can u do a brief tutorial on that?

[pf243]

hey am african, so for us parents, aunties, uncles, elders, neighbours they practically all the same in that they can check you when you outta line. Ofcourse they respect the parents and ultimately know the parents have the last word, but they aint to shy to call you out and give you a time out when they see you actin a fool in the streets or wherever. lol

[neshnash32]

Love it! Agree 100%

[Ninaforever17]

thats crazy to me. my parents are african (ie straight from the motherland) and in our culture any adult your parents know and trust is an uncle/auntie. if they see you out of line, its their responsibility to set you straight and let your parents know about your behaviour. I used to hate it as a kid b/c that shit was like 24/7 survelliance lol but im better for it

[pf243]

@Ninaforever17 totally agree, am african as well from DRC Congo and you know those aunties and uncles dont play!! especially the gossipy ones, whatever you did in town with your friends your parents already know before you get home lolll

[pf243]

@Ninaforever17 totally agree am african as well, and you know those uncles and aunties dont play! loll especially the gossipy ones, whatever you did in town with your friends, your parents already know before you even get home. But we grow up to be respectiful of our elders and parents so its a good thing.

[atinob43]

You;re so smart.

[cynmille2000]

I have been with my partner for awhile. I trust her judgement and point of views when it comes to discipline. I will allow her to correct ( verbally,timeout) my 10 year old if she get out of line, however I will not allow her to spank her.

[blkbudafly001]

Great points.

[lashandar]

My knee-jerk reaction to strangers saying anything to a child was hell no, not with all the perverts running around, but I have in fact had to tell a kid to stop kicking the back of seats in a movie theater with the parent/guardian sitting right there, so there is certainly a time and a place. As for a partner, I don't have children, but I was raised by a step-parent and my step dad had full authority, and I'm really not sure how it could have worked out any other way.

[lmcth]

Having a blended family is so difficult especially when the parents are on two different pages with discipline. Children can be very manipulative because there is no communication between the parents and the child. This was an excellent topic definitely going to check out the blog.

[shewascool]

I don't see a problem with an adult correcting a child. Proper correction is done with care and not verbally damaging or psychically harming. That goes for the parents and any other adult with the child. Stop "beating" your children people. Trust me, there are better and more effective ways.

[nikjohn77]

It's all in the way that it's done! Not all adults are capable of disciplining a child in a constructive way! Some adults can be be cruel, as a former public school system worker I saw it first hand! I do believe in disciplining children and allowing others too as well however, it's all in the way that it's done! Cussing my children is a no no, sorry but I don't cuss at them so I won't allow anyone else to. When it comes to your man, that takes time.

[nikjohn77]

@ladykenya very well said! I concur....

[PLTbyCormie]

I think that when dealing w a blended family it is KEY..to find out what he or she think their role should be in the child life as a disciplinarian and then see how that matches up with your ideals..if you are not on the same page before marriage it can destroy you once you are..great topic :)

[ladykenya]

ANYONE who lovingly disciplines my child has my permission to do so. When a child knows that correction won't happen until mommy or daddy gets home, boundaries get pushed. My dtr knows  if she is acting out so badly that discipline is necessary, not only will punishment come from whatever adult is in charge but again when I see her. And I have a very well behaved six year old. Anyone who I give charge to be with her has permission to love, teach, correct her.

[jilberia86]

@ladykenya you're absolutely correct! love your comment

[yocampout]

You are so right. the child is the priority and communication is the key. I think some problems arise because the adult is ready for another relationship but the child is trully not mentally ready. That breeds feelings of instability, then resentment........especially if the child has no problem with other adults, just the one taking their parents attention

[uniquelyme96]

By the way my child is 18 and I wish should would disrespect and elder.

[LadiJ418]

It depends. I would have to know what my significant other considers discipline, because some people grew up in homes where verbal discipline including cursing and all kinds of foolishness. Now if its normal verbal discipline then fine, correct my child. and spankings would just be a no-no. Only myself, mom, gma can spank my child. I wouldn't even let the father of my child beat my children because men are too physically strong.

[uniquelyme96]

AE if you see my child and she is out of place. Get her! I work with youth and I can tell you it is because the village has left. No one wants anybody saying anything to there child. I rem when I got in trouble. My whole neighbors would get me, teachers etc. We have took religion out of schools etc etc etc. But no one knows why kids are so disrespectful. I have kids who respect me more then there parents. Thats crazy. You are the parent not there friends.

[JustSynetta]

@PhoenixStarrfaceTV, I agree with this point but only somewhat because in Some cases it has nothing to do with not trusting the partner but rather sheer respect for the child. We never want to risk a child feeling resentful because some one other than their parent spanked them or whatever. Just a thought.

[Goddessofmydestiny]

My children are adults but trust me, if a person is old enough to be their parent my children will address that person as Mr or Miss. I raised my children to know any adult I respected enough to have around my children is a adult that will be respected by my child. I trusted my adult relatives, friends and signficant other to keep my children in check if I was not there to do it.

[20pearlsNcurls]

I think some people create a double standard when it comes to "their" child. They want you to treat them as "your own" when it comes to shopping, picking them up, watching them, etc but when lil Johnnie steps out of line you can't yell at'em like he's "your own". That really opens up a can of worms when they have a child together. It will seem like one child is favored over the other. I guess that's a whole different video. Great topic!

[aylix89]

@20pearlsNcurls i agree. i personally dont like the idea of random men playing the role of father. for that reason i wouldnt expect them to love and pamper them. i dont think that mentality is fair to the child or the partner

[mspellz]

The actual parent should do the actual discipline whether its punishment or taking away of priviledges. But both parents should respect each others ideas and opinions in child raising and come to common ground. And they need to be united in front of the kids. It goes without saying that the non parent should be a serious participant in the relationship. Not somebody who is a "booty call" or FWB. Those types shouldnt even be around the kids like that nor do they get any opinion.

[dauseduvall]

I really dont think if you have kids you are single. Single parents stop saying that! You are attached. You have kids and they are part of the deal. Single means that single. No mouth to feed but ur own.

[PhoenixStarrfaceTV]

You know, if you don't trust your significant other to chastise your child, then we must evaluate the relationship.

[AFRICANEXPORT]

@PhoenixStarrfaceTV Good point, that is how I feel

[quasez54]

For me, if my mother had brought another MAN in, he would have had to be very respectful and nice to me...otherwise he and I would have bumped heads especially if he EVER tried to discipline me. Lol. I wouldn't care if I was wrong, you ain't my damn daddy. I trusted and loved my mom on a whole nother level where I didn't care if she set me straight. However, I was never a bad child, my MOTHER taught me how to act so therefore there was never a reason for another adult to discipline me.

[jaynepaynesmith]

I think Any adult should be able to correct a child as long as the correction is CORRECT. spanking!...now that's another thang

[Telisaking]

Very informative video, ranging in open-minded perspectives...and that's a good question..Why have you been engaged for such a long time? I'm sure you'll get into that at a later date...peace and blessings..

[ashiabridges]

TRUTH: never thought about that proverb (it takes a village) that way - adults should be able to correct kids. Love the vid.

[JustSynetta]

Great discussion and can be very complicated since there is so many different scenarios. I'm in a blended interracial family situation. My son is 15 and his daughter is 20. Both kids are great but since my child is still a minor, some discipline is still necessary. I go to my partner to discuss any situation to keep him in the loop but I am the one who hands out punishments.

[kleetie12]

Yayyyy! I'm so glad u brought it back! love it....always love your opinions

[Laceycurls]

I say in a boyfriend/girlfriend situation I would not allow anyone to discipline my child. If they have a problem they should present it to me and I would deal with the issue at hand. I will call up her dad in a minute though and put him on the phone. My husband has never tried to discipline my daughter I believe she should have respect for adults but if there is an issue it is usually address between me and her father and her.

[Fancyfros]

Any responsible adult can correct, guide and redirect my children. I don't need anyone whooping or spanking but yes MAKE THEM DO RIGHT! I'm married but when I was dating my husband I expected him to put his foot down when necessary!!! I have also told my children that if they feel mistreat then respectfully let the adult know "What your doing isn't right and I'm telling ASAP" ... I DON'T TEACH OR EXPECT THEM TO TRUST ALL ADULTS!! They know the difference

[MsMy215]

One year no. Married. Tae dem up! Lol. A few comments down a subbie made a good point, there MUST be a united front. No pitting one against a other.

[majoshlin]

Honey, I've been married for 10 years, and my husband cannot and discipline my child from a previous marriage. She, of course, has to have respect for him, but as far as physical discipline, it's my responsibility. I don't understand how women can allow some man to come in a 'beat' their children. Just can't understand it.

[chilid856]

When it comes to the long time boy/girlfriend, spouse, the child should have the utmost respect for the stepparent. My experience is if the child believes you have their side, they will have you & your partner fighting. Until we became one with the disciplining we was fighting all the time. But when we became an united front & came together on the disciplining of the kids. The kids attitude changed, we get respect from all of our kids, no more pitting us against each other.

[PrettyYoungNaturals]

Yes, definately give the person time to get to know you. Then if you feel an ample amout of time has gone by, it is time to get to know the child. Before he or she meets the child, have conversations with each other about correcting the child if it is ever necessary. Things shouldn't come up as a surprise so that arguments and/or bitterness doesn't have to arise. If you are both on the same page things will run smoother. Then have a talk with your child. You should all be in the loop.

[Jadison03]

I knew my now husband prior to getting with my daughters father. We got BACK together when my daughter was about 1..my case was different because at that time my daughter had no other father figure in her life and (my then boyfriend) thought of her (and of course still does) as his own! But what was key for us is we communicated a lot and we had the same thought process as to how we would discipline her! Because at the end of the day we had to be on the same page!

[Jadison03]

FIRST and foremost there should not be a lot of interaction between your man and your child if this isn't going to be a lasting, stable relationship! Blended families are the majority and norm now! Once you are in a committed relationship, communicate with your partner how YOU discipline your child and what boundaries you do not want crossed! Sometimes gender and age of the child play a role in the new person disciplining them as well! I too was a single mother that found lasting love!

[LekiaLPTBeauty]

I definitely agree with what was said in the video.

[PearlfectJourney]

I don't have kids; so, these are just my opinions from what I've seen and heard!I think anyone can call a child out on misbehavior and inform the parent for further action. However, as far as disciplining (taking away things/privileges, spanking, etc.), it shouldn't be just anyone. As far as significant others, I think it should be their step parent (your husband or wife) and that your significant other should be helping provide for and/or nurture the child like their own to have that authority.

[TheIdeabaker]

I will be up front... as a female with professional training in dealing with children, it is challenging dating a man with kids. I've found that the best way to work with it is for the parent to take on the role of disciplinarian, & for the adults to agree on respectful rules for the house; off sides, away from the kids. The parent often has to have a chat alone with the child about remembering to respect adults, but the parent is the parent, and should be the only one disciplining their child.

[JazZmineMadu]

To add about discipling the child of a person you are dating, disciline should be an open discussion, That's what families do, or should do, you know to keep things coppeastetic.

[JazZmineMadu]

Things can be difficult, the attitudes of everyone involved is very important! If a single parent is dating someone, and they start living together as a family, I think it should be thought of as more than a "trial run," childrens hearts can get broken in the event a step parent leaves the home just as well as a biological parent leaving the home.

[kimjarman]

I agree with you, children should be disciplined (within reason of course) by both parties, whether it be a step father or a step mother that is in their life. My mother and father went their separate ways when I was younger and I see her partner as a father figure.

[sonarangel]

AE...Preach It!!!!

[nina090991]

I feel like the parenting should be done by the parent and that the other adult should support and help the parent enforce the decisions he made. Because at the end of the day , he is your child and while you need a village , the village needs to respect the way you chose to parent your child and not try to enforce what they believe should be done. Because everyone has a different opinion .

[TotalDivaRea]

@nina090991 Honestly I agree that people raise their child differently, but If you are dating someone you should be dating someone who has the same morals about raising kids, b/c let's say you eventually have a child of you alls own together you don't want to raise one child one way and the other another...and make them feel like someone is more spoiled than the other b/c your kids with someone else gets away w/ whatever they want

[TotalDivaRea]

@nina090991 so if someone is dating someone who doesn't agree with they way you are rasing your child...you probably shouldn't be dating that person or expecting a future to happen...b/c right off that bat that will cause problems...

[nina090991]

@TotalDivaRea I don't have any children but I do have nephews and godchildren , which I had to parent sometimes . But I'm not the child parent , and I need to respect the parenting decisions they took. I'm not planing to have any child anytime soon , but if I was "The parents" should come to a compromise on how they want to raise their child. I believe step parents job is to support and enforce the main parent in the decisions they make. They can have an opinion but is up to the parent.

[moviegal53]

@nina090991 IMO- looking at this up and coming generation there hasn't been a "village" most of these kids are rude disrespectful little brats. Oddly enough many of them have well meaning parents, but they don't respect authority or their elders-- because their parents have enforced the "can't tell me nothin'" attitude. There needs to be an understanding that as long as an adult in the child's life is there to guide and help them they need to respect that person.

[SkittlezAddict4Eva]

@nina090991 Well said.

[TRACKtoU]

Good tread, AE, however all adults don't like children and some want U not ur child! It's true,maybe some of these women need to not be so desperate. I have seen some let a "boyfriend" or "male friend" have their way with their child. For me, no male in my life until my child was much older! It's all about getting n keeping some man, and if "the male" didn't have a good father figure and may have been abused for training/raising still, there is enought beat-up n dead children everywhere...TRACK

[meyerchick89]

I agree. The only thing I would add is that this other person should be on board with your way of disciplining your child and I personally would not ever let my bf/fiance physically discipline my child because that can get out of hand. Stepfathers have the right to beat a child since they've assumed a new role.

[PlainRayna]

I agree with you one hundred percent. A child needs to learn to respect authority, but needs to feel safe as well.

[arialecxz]

As someone who is still young enough remember what childhood was like, but old enough to be one the other side of the fence. The idea of anyone being able to speak to a child starts to get distorted. My mother has always treated me with respect and I find that many adults have a very dominionative way of speaking to children. There is no intrinsic respect that being older affords you. There are people who have a place in giving children guidance and not everyone can be that person.

[AFRICANEXPORT]

@arialecxz That makes perfect sense. 

[sGracestill11601]

GREAT TOPIC!

[cgrepresentative01]

This a great topic because a lot of woman typically allow men to discipline their children. They may not realize that its not in the best of the parent or their man but in the best need of the child.With that said i think that the man should only play apart if he is not feeding them, protecting them or if you don't see along term relationship with them in the long run. Because you wouldn't want your child to hate that man and then hate all the others that may come along.

[NaturalKenya]

if yall leave together then this shouldnt even be a question because yall both pay bills in the house. childern should listen to ALL adults aslong as its right

[SuperKillaCam88]

My family is so backwards, it's like nobody can say anything to nobody's child! And as a result the younger generation is so disrespectful! I absolutly hate it! I refuse to let my child grow up like that! My child WILL have some respect for her elders!

[RockChickPuds]

It's so important for these young folk to have guidance...not just from the parents but from influential adults in their lives. Not just for discipline sakes but also as a reminder for them to respect their elders.

[ToyabooView]

New topic suggestion: Do you think Men should be able to whoop/spank daughters? blood related or not. Does it make a difference if they are the real father or not?

[ToyabooView]

Excellent advice. I also think it's important for a child to learn to respect authoritative figures in their household even if they are not related by blood. The 'talk' needs to happen as soon as the new family member is introduced as someone who with be living in the household. It's def tough and it's hard to swing your weight around if you're the new guy/girl, but if it doesn't happen in the beg. it will get harder as they get older. Not sure what I think about whoopins though.

[bebegurl31291]

I have had experience the negative affects of my parents letting other people discipline me, its no one's job to correct my child, but me and my Husband. ( stay-at-home-mom talking)

[outreachfamily2009]

I agree with you, but there are some adults who doesn't know how to raise a child, so I'm against any adults who choose to hit first, instead of sitting down and talk to discipline a child by talking to them first, then if that doesn't work maybe take it to the next level. I also believe permission needs to be given by the parents, before using a spanking object.

[prettyshamarlee]

You took the words right out of my mouth. I feel like any adult in my life has the right to correct my child if they get out of line. I'm a big believer in the village.

[ladiepink]

I promise my bestfriend just fussed at me the day before yesterday because i didnt tell her daughter no thats not nice. I was like oops guess i better discipline her, she is 1 1/2 and she is learning whats ok and not ok to do. So when I tell her no or pop her hand she like aww

[ladiepink]

man auntie mean lol but i have to remember its to make her better she is not finna be one of them young adults with no manners or respect for authority. My advice would be to "start young" shoot. moral of the story my bff charged me up and was like "notta it takes a village to race this child"

[tyrondaking]

first!!!!!!!!!!!! i commented before i watched if i'm being honest! and i liked too b/c i love any video you post :)