Shit Classical Musicians Say

[SixStringSolid]

"I can't, I have to practice"-story of my last 2 years of highschool

[DurpenHeimer]

I'm a cellist...I say a lot of this in relation...It was funny lol

[ShaggyPatches]

More like shit bass players say. But still, very typical. I love the Heldenleben reference. That piece is a beast for you guys.

[sammees867]

i couldn't relate to half of it but this made my day :D :D

[EipEiknip]

"What kind of rosin do you use?"

Whatever my poor school gives me -__- to go with my 30 year old, always out of tune bass.

[Nstrumentalist1986]

as a cellist this shit is gay

[BassCausality]

@Nstrumentalist1986 Thanks for your stellar contribution 

[DRUMMER1996GEN]

@Nstrumentalist1986 as a drummer i fuck your mother.

[MuseDuCafe]

Too pathetically true to be really funny, though I loved how the one delivered the line at the end, "Have you checked out the Corelli Op. X trio sonatas?"

Of course one of these could be made for each instrument, and its instrument-centric perspective on the world. LOL? or just painful?

[thewriter2993]

"Dammit, my g-string won't stay in tune!"

[thatonechick2012]

I say half this stuff! I had no idea I was a classical musician, I can't even read music:D

[ProgThrasher6666]

"Bruckner hurts my body"

I guess some people can't handle the elisions...

[ViolinGirlR]

this is basically my life haha



[GSnaker]

"Could you tell me if I'm playing this in tune?"

Has anyone ever had this one? :)

[heeeeey456]

"sorry, I can't, I have to practice" ....... classic.

[JFCaldwell]

"Ohhh, i LOVE Mahler!"

That's me every day.

[aaronfriedmusic]

this is so boring but so true

[viabilityjane]

Gary Karr recital @Carnegie: 2 fellows who looked a lot like you 2 were seated directly in front of me, spotting peeps they knew

"Every double bassist in New York is here tonight"(ha)

"It's worse.Everyone here IS a double bassist"(haha) (unison) "or is WITH a double bassist"(guffaws)

Test (to me):"Are YOU a double bassist?" "No"(pause)

(turning)"Are you WITH a double bassist?" "No"(pause)

(turning)"Why ARE you here?"

Can't make this stuff up, fellas. A virtuoso is a virtuoso. Cheers.

[juliecatherine16]

this is so true! haha

[MrJptrman]

Love this vid. 

[Altoclarinets]

wii remote? lol.

[starz6x9babe]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has that "obsession" of practicing! Lol! Reading people's comments crack me up!

[starz6x9babe]

Bahahaha! This is totally me! Such a nerd =P

[claeroplane]

whoa! Jacob's.

[wednesdayXfever]

so...me...

[OrangeSodaKing]

Haha, I met Dan (one of the guys in this video) at Brevard this past summer. I'll be going again this summer! :)

[seattlegrrlie]

Yes

[TheBandGeekInvasion]

Wait... Brevard? as in the Brevard Music Center?

[BassCausality]

@TheBandGeekInvasion Yes. BMC. Yes.

[TheBandGeekInvasion]

@BassCausality You guys= too awesome.

[Strefanasha]

an obsession with practice, driven by guilt.

I HATE IT.

so I am not a musician even though I have played the bass to a certain standard.

(my colleagues refuse to believe me, but there it is)

[bigOryx]

omg this is sooo true

[theoboegoddess]

Hey guys!! Check out my oboe vid!

[tubaclare]

hahaha, i can't believe I went to Brevard for 3 years :D

[NearlyWitches1]

I'm not a classical musician but this was hilarious anyways

[bubblytar]

At least I'm doing something I love lololol

[MaestraWashu]

"Bruckner hurts my body." <-- TRUTH.

[Gewath]

Eugh... Too true -,- 

[geste59]

How true...

[micheniche]

i live with my sister who is a classical pianist. and half of the things you said was SPOT ON. cracked me up!

[tarverDelight]

please come to college of charleston. we have no bass players.

[tarverDelight]

yesss bass players = sexy

[glissando23]

You forgot to add, "Flute players give amazing head. But don't take my word for it. Find out for yourself."

[xderbosewolf]

This is entirely too accurate.

[LifeisBrandNew]

Haha as a violist, I found this entertaining, good job guys! Also, coincidentally, we just covered Corelli's Trio Sonata, Op. 3, No. 2 in history.

[tylernicholas]

YOU SPOON IS CLEAN!

[HisakoHiga]

Guilty to say i say most of these, especially the "i need to practice" parts XD

[beckyharp]

i liked this one...I have heard people (and me) say these exact things on a daily basis. Makes me kind of nostalgic. And it's funny, when the guy says (about taking the audition) "Yeah me too"' its not evident that when people say that with a calm manner, inside they're going "damn...."

[MercifulMe]

Can this be renamed Shit Bassists Say?

[ibtrill]

"Sorry, I can't. I have to practice." = Life.

[alysonclarkbass]

you forgot the infamous "can i borrow your rosin?"

[martinborgen]

I spot dots on that bass! More dot rage needs to be inserted in the video!

[Sexican]

Boring and sort of whimsical. But whatever at least you tried.

[6rim2eape2]

I'm not warmed up yet. I love that one.

[TheViolaMaestro]

Coming from a Violist, this is the FUNNIEST shit I have EVER seen!!!!!!!!!

[koldspaghetti]

i wept

[kingwoodmetalist]

Totally agree with the class part =D

[TimeAgent007]

While funny, I wish that there were non-strings related sayings. Just because strings are the majority of symphony doesn't mean that winds don't say funny shit...

[ClarJMoon]

Clarinetists: "What reeds do you play on? Which mouthpiece do you play? Holy shit look at that fingering. Holy shit look at that tongue action! Dude I have no repertoire. I hate my instrument. I'm flat. Now I'm sharp. I don't ever use a metronome. I practice standing up. I practice sitting down. I only got to practice an hour today. I didn't feel like practicing today. Warm-up. *BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB­* <- Tuning note *CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC* <- Tuning *OPEN GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG* <-Tuning

[lrklrk77]

Haha "Bruckner hurts my body."

[fabes63]

This is pretty funny! 

[LaGazzaLadra1]

HAHAHA awesome!!!! I realize now I have to be saying this stuff all the time. wow..

[moshaw310]

Obviously 16 people don't understand the hard work of classical musicians

[30secondstomarstv1]

Is Your teacher ? very good video Congragulations

[omgitsmonika]

Oh my God, I'm actually guilty of way too many of these.

[JumpTossCatch]

So true XD

[toesther]

o gsh.. i went to brevard three times and went to aspen too. lol

[benjaminreynolds01]

Yes, yes these are Bel Canto's. And Pops rosin, because I like liquid sap on my strings. :-P

[jhcjhcjhc3]

The guy with the red hoodie has a smile that could light up the world,

and... hes fuckin' sexy.

[xAznessx]

i come close to this.....:/

[spoofzilla]

Hahaha this is fantastic!!!! A lot of this is incredibly similar to shit jazz musicians say at my school. Love it!

[trigalg693]

lol Norrington is pretty bad yea :P

[speedy2343]

i wonder when he's gonna finish washing that dish.

[Slambertmilam11]

hah, indeed. Bruckner you bastard ^_^

[CommieBastard1]

*practices 2 hours, spends 3 hours playing BF3*

"I practiced for 5 hours today....." LOL

[casciscool]

Painfully accurate. 

[xenophile84]

This should be called 'Shit Music Students Say'

[Wickedcb]

This was great! Heard/said most, if not all, of these!

[KazumaSwordsman]

My G string just doesn't vibrate like it used to

[zaggggg]

perfect mixture of dryness and humor.. my favorite - i'm not warmed up yet :)

[HachiHaruChika101]

The humidity in the room's too low. It's messing with my instrument.

[saxyviolist]

I love this....everytime

[martinbsullivan1]

I recognize those rooms, Indiana University??

[BassCausality]

@martinbsullivan1 You are correct!

[DeVoe123]

@martinbsullivan1 Hahaha same here, I work at the Musical Arts Center and had a huge 'no fucking way' moment. Small world, small internet

[fagott821]

nerds!! lol

jk~ I'm not any better...

[vgunning]

painful, couldn't listen to the whole thing

[BassCausality]

@vgunning painful, couldn't read your whole comment

[vgunning]

@BassCausality Waa haa



[MsCherokeeblue]

@BassCausality No worries...you did well :-)

[Strefanasha]

@vgunning yes it was painful. been there, done that.

now I am a labourer and woodworker for a living. it beats the hell out of the self imposed guilt driven obsession musicians need to do that job. . .

but I did watch the whole vid, it certainly did line up with shit musicians said when i started out in the trade in the mid 1970's

[BBRENTTAGHAPP]

"ugh, did you hear the concertmaster's solo? i could've played it soooo much better."

[HiBye533]

"Party? Sorry I have a concert."

[ashowproductions]

Haha this was well done. I studied in a music program for some years and it was just like this. Check out my own video "Shit Guitarists Say"

[crayZsaaron]

"I just read this sweet book about Chopin and his composing process!"

[MarieNachtwey]

btw I love that you're doing dishes in parts of this video. It make me smile. :-)

[MarieNachtwey]

"Oh I played the first part in High School.... it was really easy." DriveS me nuts.

"Was this arrangement done on Sibelius or Finale?"

"Finale is better."

"Sibelius is better."

"I need a new (reed/ligature/bell/barrel/cor­k/pad//neck-strap/thumb-guard.­.)" (I am a clarinet player :-P )

"I have perfect pitch."

"Are you using Vandoren Reeds?"

"I use Vandoren V12 5's"

"Is that a Buffet R13?"

[signal899]

I really do want that box set of Mahler...

[usedinpublic]

I play upright and this is completely accurate

[alexxshaw42]

They're hot... I'd love to bow their strings any day!!

[FelixDelTredici13]

"I'm not warmed up yet"

[Josiahjjr]

Hilarious.

[xB4SsXb0yx]

too true. i'm a bassist and all the guys from all the sections i'm in and i totally say this to each other all the time.

i fell of my chair when steve said "I'm gonna play SO loud! haha easiest way to piss off the conductor.

[ilovesubway26]

i didnt think this was funny, just that u were both cute

[blupomodoro]

LOL. this is so great. even though I'm not a music student, I constantly ask people "So what rep are you playing nowdays?" and to conservatory students, "So what festivals are you doing?" XD

[jifiPOP101]

There is a thread on talkbass about this

[kelseyleighcork]

lmfao this is gold. SO. ACCURATE.

[jamminbass1]

Hey, are these bel cantos? You guys are funny.

[erkperc]

dude that guy's a MONSTER

[mcsingleton]

I'm a musician and this wasn't funny at all..it's too slow and too long.

[BassCausality]

@mcsingleton Well, too bad.

[abasstrombonist]

@mcsingleton after 6 years in conservatories, I can say that this is pretty much how every day goes.

[chocotastic]

@mcsingleton Spoken like a true musician

[cellomunchkin]

@mcsingleton Yea and some of it was offensive too, I mean the Yo yo ma part I did not like because I'm a cellist and the way they speak is just not a good image for musicians..it makes us look bad

[edrmain]

"who do you study with" classic!

[classiccandle27]

LOL WHAt ROSIN

[ionakana83]

What fingerings did you use in the Strauss Ein Heldenleben..

[SteveUrkeI]

So this is why I lost all of my non musician friends

[jdebruynviolin]

"I didn't practice at all" (referencing about 3 or 4 hours)

[jifiPOP101]

Bass players i think are like this because we are always looked down upon no matter WHAT and thus we have so much pride and determination to destroy every other section. This is the sh't bass players say i am one and this is my life

[CyclopsDragon]

"Crap, I just broke my G-String."

[Mainehorse]

You forgot: *plays incredibly awesome note* MAN, that SUCKED! What's the deal today?

[chuchubear90]

I always mean to get up early and practice. So I get up early. And then lie in bed for 2 hours. Also, I totally tell people "Sorry, I can't, I have to practice"

[trogonidae]

THE MAC

IU represent!

I love that building so much.

[moosey333]

this is funny! very true

[cballet315]

Sooo true haha

[plutoend99]

these people are beyond hipsters

[BassmanSean91]

so scary how much of this I say

[Colltrane45]

my peg slipped LOL all too true

[rebassca]

legit said all of these. Except for the one about dudamel he's the best!!!!

[theiudb4265]

"I can't believe Sperger wrote 22 bass concertos"

[jzbluth]

As someone who tested the waters of considering being a professional musician and HATED IT, this video makes me slightly nauseated. The only one I can relate to is "I'm taking a day off," which is my motto.

[RedSoxWSAgain]

@jzbluth if that was your motto it doesn't surprise me that you hated it.

[WTFman010]

you forgot one........."Have you ever had sex?"



[MsCherokeeblue]

Lol...very funny! Classical musicians with a sense of humor...whodathunkit!!

[ChopinBachBrahms]

"I started when I was 4."

[jjooyeonny]

HAHA exactly what i say @ colburn

[DancingBassStrings]

Loved this! :D



[cpampine]

mad props on the corelli comment. love it. iujsom! :D

[shakerdiva79]

that is really funny

[KingSuperFart]

this is true :/

[davidzgeorge]

shit bassists say

[TonicMike]

aw...it's nostalgic. It makes me miss Aspen and the whole culture of practice rooms.

[OwnYouScum]

You forgot the most common one "Can I borrow your pencil?"

Classical musicians NEVER remember to bring a pencil to rehearsals.

[TurboTsunami19]

I like it!

I usually tell people these things but I do think them in my head lol. Some of these questions are ones teachers ask me when they first meet me.

[MHSroyalbone]

lol 1:21 ...story of my college life

[radish1234earrings]

MAHHHLLERRR

[kiralaster]

i can never get heldenlebien to sound good.

DONT I KNOW IT

[rebassca]

I've been watching this video over and over again because it makes me miss my bass player friends. Pretty sure i've said almost everything in this video.

[CARSflyLiKEVR00M]

"Bruckner hurts my body."

YESSSS.

[Purebunny29]

i know dan! and brevard lol

[ChezShey]

Bahahahaha! I say this shit ALL the time. The curse of the music major. But at least I'm doing what I love...

[EripmavRaye]

@BassCausality well, still, I love bassists.

Did Dan go to brevard summer 2011? I think I know him....

[starwarsjunkie7777]

I really CAN'T make Heldenleben sound good!

[jenniferannparker]

hahahahaha This is so true...such greatness.

[EripmavRaye]

........maybe it's just double bass musicians. Cuz every bassist i know, says that stuff eryday.

However, I, as a pianist, don't talk about Mahler and Yoyoma. hahaha. Or strings. Or rosin.

[BassCausality]

@EripmavRaye Haha, you're right. This video is totally biased.

[proffessionalbaddass]

@EripmavRaye haha very true. I've definitely said that about Heldenleben a few times.

[RenegadeSquirrels]

@EripmavRaye Or strings in general. I played viola for four years in a youth orchestra, and i asked, on more than one occasion, what strings/rosin someone else used. Lol.

[DynamiteGazelle]

Corelli FTW!

[detipdetip1]

"I have to win a job this year" LOL

[archeryguy1121]

BASSES!!!!!

[keiranohara]

Is that a Hachez?

[malikrox]

Replace Bel Canto with Eudoxa and you basically got shit violinists say. Except we're all assholes.

[KillerNeuron]

sweet jesus this is perfection.

and my cello definitely wears belcantos.

[kaleidoscopeheart91]

"Bruckner hurts my body"

[SHOSTALOVER93]

"at least im doing what i love" LOL!!!!

[nreitman]

Shit Double Bassists Say

[brianaw220]

Dude, Eastman in a nutshell.

[asianpianoman]

Nice Solti Mahler cycle ;) except for Solti's Mahler is too harsh...

[malibu64]

silly bassists. This is shit college students studying classical performance on instruments say. ;-)

[mijcummi]

Yea IU. What what.