I like this one except that you use the same image movement for the first (Longest) half of it. It makes me feel like I am swinging on a swing and this image is the one coming closer and going away. I like the over variation of the image and I especially like the last one that just freezes and stops. I suggest you mix it up a little more and use that last image again. I love the image itself and the poem!
Nice work. Beautiful manipulation of the words. Keep working light.
rosiebrownejackson 3 years ago
very nice work man! loved it! you have a great poetry voice! :)
PhilosopherFresh 3 years ago
This is great! Thanks for sharing!
DonBernard7 3 years ago
Jim,
I like this one except that you use the same image movement for the first (Longest) half of it. It makes me feel like I am swinging on a swing and this image is the one coming closer and going away. I like the over variation of the image and I especially like the last one that just freezes and stops. I suggest you mix it up a little more and use that last image again. I love the image itself and the poem!
Your #1 Fan,
Marty
martypixi 5 years ago