Mass Effect 2: Mordin gives Shepard medical advice

[KingDeadly626]

WAIT WAIT WAIT!

He gave EDI porno?

[LilRussh]

HOLD UP! Did he just tell her not to swallow? or am I just being perverted....

[purplehayabusa]

Wait. Did Mordin just give Shepard and EDI some porn?

[cloudgirl150]

So no BJ's?....damn poor Garrus :/

[SpearM3064]

@cloudgirl150 Actually... the game's writers went overboard on the "allergic reaction" bit. I'll skip the science primer. The short version is that while an allergic reaction is possible, it is also possible that anything that she "ingests" (especially since she's not 100% human anymore... remember, she can drink Krogan liquor and not die from it!) would just pass through without any permanent ill effects. And there are some dextro-foods that we CAN eat... like table sugar!

[wolfkiba1000]

I don't care about Mordin's advice?

(it feels like he's going to split both me and Garrus...yeah i comes choose garrus!)

[ikosabre]

Mordin is a pimp lord

[purplehayabusa]

Hold down 8 for Mordin to be pleased.

[halbrd]

Awkward at 0:48

[zaxophne]

I guess that's one way to tell her to spit, instead of swallow...

[CommanderMattShepard]

MORDIN WAS NOT DESCRIBING PORN PEOPLE! he meant science stuff for how turian and human relationships work. porn is a vile horrible excuse of entertainment(main reason, its misogyny) and im sure mordin isn't mean enough to give it to femshep.

[CJC7472]

DO NOT INGEST.

[johnnycajxrt]

don't... ah, ingest

translation: don't swallow

[Socomite]

I'm pretty sure Mordin is a millionaire in ME3, having made a fortune selling shep & garrus sex tapes in omega.

[xXxM0nteNegr0xXx]

Mordin: Wanted to talk. Medical reasons. Everyone needs to bone. Especially Humans and Turians. Use protection.

Shepard: I will geezs! Your not gonna scare me.

Mordin: I get it. Your horny, but come by after. You may need painkillers... for chafing.

Shepard:Your medical opinion?

Mordin: Turian dextro-amino acids can cause an allergic reaction in humans. Anaphylactic shock possible so don't swallow. Also sending you Human/Turian Kama Sutra for dummies. Lube and porn too!

Shep: :D

[sErgEantaEgis12]

''Less'' alcohol and mood music?

Mitosis just got more awesome.

[dudeapokemon]

my god mordin. your dirty bastard. i now like you 100% more. wait... is this actual dialogue? i don't believe it.

[RealArcalian]

@dudeapokemon This reply may come to late, but yeah....he says something for each Love interest.

[Besnada]

so don't...grrr...ingest hahaha best quote ever

[SeanMacGregor1]

its funny because right before he says ingest, he puts his hand in a coughing position, almost like a hand reference to sucking Garrus' cock.

[reloaditfast]

so dont...ah...suck Garrus cock...

[HatashiLuvsU]

Mordin's so sweet

Damn the game creators that he wasnt a romance option....

[paladyn12]

@HatashiLuvsU well the fact that they reproduce by eggs and do not mate because of hormons but because they want their race to live on it makes sense

[HatashiLuvsU]

@paladyn12 thats true, but still...it'd be nice to sit around cuddlin with a genius xD

[mrblue272]

i think mordin and garrus need to have a "talk"

[baronbrixiusDIE]

why the hell does that creep have "the comfortable positions to both races" when he is of neither race

[ZetsubouMFZB]

@baronbrixiusDIE

Because he's a doctor...?

[ivorydome]

@baronbrixiusDIE Possibly because he's a doctor. I know, crazy theory!!!!111

[terrorlizard]

Mordin just gave you Porn!

XD lol

oh man what will Garrus say -w-

[hazus117]

Lol just think what mordin does alone

[tom1yum2goong]

You guys should hear what he says about jack if you play as the male shepard so fucking funny :)

[M3GAMAN100]

Mordin reminds me of Dr. Kleiner from Half-Life

[VelasLupus]

SHOCKING SUGGESTION!

[Mithrondly]

when he explains all the information hes giving fem shepard i think it like this

Mordin: ..... Viable Diagrams ( Porn ) and positions ... gave EDI electronic relationship aid ( Computer Porn? )

[LiVeBoOsTeR3]

ITS SNUUKI

[xboxfreak191]

Turians are high risk.... But the priiiiiiiize

[RougeKrieger]

Comfortable positions LOL

[farkatoon]

less alcohol, mood music and friends required lolol

[eddox94]

Turians based on dextro-amino acids. human ingestion of tissue could provoke allergic reactions. anaphylactic shock possible. so don't, ah, swallow his cum.

[mattaddison19]

@eddox94 Deadly cumshot you know.. Imagine a turian bukkake !

[eddox94]

@mattaddison19 LOL

[TheBestAtWin]

Sn00ki Shepard ftw

[mynameisnyhm]

"So don't, uh, ingest" hilarious

[UncleFourFinger]

And yet they removed(deleted) a documented 30 minutes of voice-overs for female-female relations.

[cyberchild94]

That has to be...the most,explain every single detail  type of doctor, i have ever seen...OF ALL TIME!!!

[Khaibit44]

1:03 -- I love the 3-second long pause where your cursor doesn't move after Mordin finishes giving his advice, I can visualize it just being an O.O in shock.

[1vandread]

The scene after Shepard and Garrus become "romantic", Shepard enters the cockpit,"We almost at the relay Joker?" " Five minutes at the...WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?!" he says as he turns to her."Nothing, just get us there." "But your eye's swollen and why are rashes on your chin an forehead?, how are you gonna fight?""MInd your business and fly the ship Joker."Shepard walks away muttering" damn ointment didn't, Fuckin' Mordin."

[cHiKaDiNg58]

The writers of ME2 are geniuses! I know this is just a game but when I got to this part of the game it made me blush/ embarrassed. I didn't have a clue what just happened! ;D LOL

[littlecrazyneko411]

ROFL Fucking love Mordin XDDD

[Ninjamonk343]

Spit, dont swallow.

[ProTheHacker]

I always love the hidden naughtyness in Mass Effect 2 :D

[KyuubiLEW]

ROFL..... SO dont ingest ROFL!!! those aliens rofl lol at shepard swalling garrus cum rofl

[HeinrichVonOetker]

Hahaha this is why ME is good!

[bungiecoocoo]

lmao that was great! XD

[LinleyTheBestMan]

xD I like how whenever Mordin blinks he looks like he's so happy XD And oh man, I kinda wish Mordin was a romantic choice, but that might have been even weirder.

[grobmiller]

Mordin your one kinky bitch

[LaughJester9000]

That was the longest 1:31 seconds of my life

[tavila]

so wish liara was on the ship durring this would love his thoughts on asari relationa

[vxSMOKEYxv]

The coolest doctor in space.

[BakedPotato1337]

Keep pressing 3.

DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP DERP

[KMxHearts]

@BakedPotato1337

Keep pressing 1

WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH

[TurianSpectre22]

Shepard: "So doctor you have given the crew physicals right?"

Mordin: "yes"

Shepard: "How big is he?"

Mordin: "um i dont..."

Shepard: "Are we talking quarian or full blown krogan on viagra?"

Mordin: ".....krogan on viagra"

[4IN14094]

LOL, femshap like rough sex XD

[BananaNinja96]

Don't...uh...ingest.

[welljer]

i so want me some big eyed salarian loven yet no go??? femshap was let down...so down ;)

[CF4LIf3]

chafing? who gets that with human on human?

[Kaweebo]

EDI probably didn't use that vid for Shepard.

Maybe that's why her and Joker get along at the end. O_O

[wassr1956]

lordpenguin7485 has a very comment on here!

[NarakusSlave]

Really dextro amino acids wouldn’t hurt you the body would ignore it if anything it would be sweet, I shit you not.

[AceofSkulls913]

lol damn thats funny

[bulldog300]

2 people ingested.

[mattaddison19]

BAhahahaha, i wish my doctor was hiim

[MadWizard321]

Damn why did I make a male Shepard? Well now I have a reason to go and play as Female Shepard. I need to Take Mordin out more, he's actually rather enjoyable to be around.

[TurianSpectre22]

Shepard: "Garrus did you tell anyone our... um.. sparing match?"

Garrus: "What? No I didnt tell anyone."

Shepard: "Well if you didnt then who... EDIIIIIII!!!!!"

EDI: "I enjoy the sight of humans, and turians, on their knees."

[celticmoon88]

@TurianSpectre22 Grunt:heh...heh..heh

[scullen08]

don't... ahem... ingest

Oh god, I just spat coffee onto my keyboard

[Izziana]

ufff... its really chafing

[TurianSpectre22]

Garrus: "SHEPARD IS DEAD" Tali: "Oh my god what happened!?" Garrus: "oh ummm........... it was the Reapers."

[IronreaverVII]

@TurianSpectre22 AH YES, REAPERS. An intergalactic species of Shepard killing bent on killing... Shepard. WE HAVE DISMISSED THIS CLAIM.

[cj4712]

@TurianSpectre22 Ah yes *air quotes* reapers...we have already dissmised this claim

[Annihilator27]

@TurianSpectre22 Lmfao,Hmmmmm

[thevashfan12392]

@lackofattack more LIKE AN ORGY OF GIRLS ONE CUP 999999999999999999999999999999­X WORSE

[alchemist889]

Mordin is clearly the most helpful squadmate in any ME game. What will you do in ME3 when you wanna get with a Hanar and you don't have his expert advice?

[TheArthasmenethril]

basically no blow jobs

[flipmasta14]

dont ingest lol!!!!!!

[runindry]

CHAFING.

[Cerberusballs]

"Positions comfortable for both species." Shit, I need to see this booklet.

[LordPenguin7485]

@Cerberusballs Just look up "Rule 34 Garrus and shepard". I warn you, horrible things might happen to your brain.

[Cerberusballs]

@LordPenguin7485 Oh, I've already searched for "Garrus Shepard" on Deviantart and FurAffinity. The results were.........interesting, to say the least. But I shall search for these two at the Rule 34 site...........

[11999000101001001]

@Cerberusballs noooo search rule34 web site ;) heavy risks ...... but the prizeeeeeeeee

[Cerberusballs]

@11999000101001001 Yeah, that's where I went.  It's also called Paheal, right? Nothing I haven't seen on DA or FA.

[Cerberusballs]

@LordPenguin7485 Just got back from Paheal. Shit. I really am completely desensitized.

[LordPenguin7485]

@Cerberusballs Yeah, same here. I could see female Shepard getting gang banged by a hermaphrodite Miranda and a multi breasted garrus while Wrex,Jacob, and Mordin tag team a shitting Thane as the illusive man and ambassador Udina piss in Tali's mask. while Kaiden and Jenkins are masturbating furiously orver the dead body of Saren. Also hanar tentacle porn involving grunt and Jack with dick nipples,why the fuck not. I could see all that and still not twitch,I think we both need help.

[Finpenora]

@LordPenguin7485 your comment gave me wood

[doomblackdragon]

@LordPenguin7485 While I can see the Hermaphrodite Miranda happiening. I just can not see the rest happiening. There are many Miranda clones out there. Which each one is made from their daddy dna.

[ZiggyKitty]

@LordPenguin7485 I was disappointed. :P

[ForKa5T]

WTF. THATS EXACTLY HOW MY SHEPHARD LOOKS!!!!! Except I was full renegade so she had an awesome red look in her eye.

[mythicgrim]

lol nice

[whyminervadied]

How can anyone NOT love this game!?

[FireRose77]

Dr Ruth of the future :P

[ImaXXeatXXyeh]

I think Mordin needs to get out more.....

[ChukchaChan]

Oh my god :')

[george77772moons]

If I ever get sick, I'm going to this guy.

[Pokerface1337]

Aww man Mordin rules ;) God bless his voice actor :) And of course the one who invented this Charakter :)

[ridjf]

Thane, Mordin, Gerrus, and Tali

Left 4 Citadel

[Oidnoid]

"so don't... *clears throat awkwardly*... ingest." lol

[BWoods]

1:04

Mordin: I've given EDI instruction videos in case you need them

Shepard: o_________________o waaaaait a second....

[grekor84]

so... erm... turians.. have "electric splooge" .. that sounds like a stupid idea and a disturbing idea...

[hoodenmcburg]

Mordin, I want to have some private time with Jack but I'm afraid she'll hurt me.

Mordin: Hmm... intercourse problematic without assistance. Will fill out prescription for... Anti-BIOTICS

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

[TheOglibogli]

Don't swallow his goo otherwords HUHUH

[miyabi121190]

This discussion always makes me laugh... But then again, Salarians and Mordin in particular always manage to at least make me smile.

[jarpasmannen]

I always took fem-shep for a swallower.

[RezCypher]

"can supply oils or ointments to reduce discomfort. Gave EDI electronic relationship aid demonstration vids to use as necessary."

Shepard: ..........

XD

[Massimiliano13182]

So don't..... ingest

[TerrestrisVerita]

Call me a fool, but... Did that guy just offer sexual advice? Have yet to seen this scene...

[yurihammo]

Garrus: Dont swallow

Sherpard: It tastes awesome

Mordin: bla bla bla.. it can cause anaphylactic shock...ahem, so dont swallow

Sherpard (0_0)

Garrus (x.x)

[CCGdude09]

is that ripley's voice from aliens

[RCSlyman]

@CCGdude09 No. That's Jennifer Hale, aka Dr. Naomi Hunter of Metal Gear Solid fame.

[draygonicewing]

@CCGdude09 The voice is Jeniffer Hale's

[ToastedWafflez]

Mordin phails!

[cinque23]

Mordin should have been a love interest, salarians are hot

[LilAlfiq]

You like Garrus? Excellent! I'll have my crate of Turian porn moved to your quarters immediately.

[PookieDaWuzzle]

Looks like 2 people *cough* ingested. Shoulda listened to Mordin.

Sorry, couldn't help it. Analgesics get to me.

[purplehayabusa]

So dont.. *cough* ingest...

[coldshoulder14]

Well now we know what vids Garrus was planning to watch.

[georock123]

The blunt version:

You're gonna need some cream, garrus has a spiky dick. Also, don't swallow his jizz, you'll die. Oh, have some free turian on human porn too.

[syphe101]

@georock123 HOLY FUCK HAHAHAAHHAH!!! FUNNY fucking thing I have heared all day..goodjob bro!

[guilhermecolichini]

@georock123 LOL. Excelent review of the conversation!

[MrWattu]

@georock123 your version is way better

[taintedlovergirl]

@georock123 lol Why this isn't still at the top? IDK

[bananacheesemonkey]

well if shepard starts running awkwardly during the suicide mission we all know the cause XD

[CanderousXOrdo]

Ah yes, Turians!

[lightsshade]

go to tuchunka the citidel and illium...listen for a krogan saying "the asari are to squichy there no place to hold onto" O_O doggy style???

[sirAthrus]

Shepherd: wait a minute what could i possibly inges.....O-o

Mordin: indeed shepherd.......do not ingest.

[ThepowerofRonin221]

Im Mordin Solus and i warn of chafing

[Goobster1920]

What are their kids going to look like?

[sm0keshell]

too bad he didnt advice shepard to use condoms

[sm0keshell]

lol

[RatBoomable]

I think I just fell out of my chair laughing

[Swingthecrane]

Mordin: So take the ointment!

Shepard: Thanks... Wait... How did you know ??? *Stares at EDI*

[stablenite]

I think he is saying dont swallow ( i bet she still did)

[farizzal]

I you don't romance anyone before this talk, Mordin thinks you are hitting on him it's hilarious.

[glaxko2]

Warning: do not ingest.

[ConstantinIV]

Holy shit xD

I didn't manage to get this dialog

[TheConverseQueen26]

This week on Dr. Phil....

Dr- so what's going on with you guys?

Shepard- *in a hospital bed with a feeding tube* well hmph mordin told me not to injest but SOMEONE just had do right sweetie >:(

Garrus- no I didn't... Okay yes I did but that's not the point!!! I didn't know... I shoulda watched the vids but it was awesome and.....

Dr- you guys?????!!!!??!!?!?!? And... But.... 0.0

[lightsshade]

did i just lol so hard to his over all speech involving INGEST? and him supplying ointments and video help???

[WOLF777dude]

He seems to know a lot about how inter species sex goes down, wonder what he studied before he created the genophage.

[FocusAssembly]

Mordin thought I was hitting on him because I liked to hear his little tid bits.. I played a male shepard.

[watAnonymouse]

Most women don't usually "ingest" anyway.

[Uruya6]

"I'm Commander Shepard, and I just got Sex Ed from my crew."

[Uruya6]

CHAFING

[Uruya6]

CHAFING 

[Uruya6]

CHAFING 

[camomano]

Video with captions:

M: and kept coming out

S:but it's not

M:Actually what we want to talk. The medical matters. oh I think it's dangerous. different species reactive to stress. Sexual activity normal stress release for humans an interest in it. I mean caution. what do you think.

S: it is the constant contact contact that there is important to me. The scare me off.

M:of course hormones regardless comes to me that and indeed and she said.

S: The recommendation is a doctor.

And on and on.

[Celestialmoonfire]

...yes, I loved that conversation every time xD It's funny if you romance Thane as well~

[Crinne1990]

im sorry but when he says he would never mock he had such a cheeky grin on his face!

[XxJokerxX90]

this is interspecies erotica fuck o

[supervegito2277]

@Nevordan slarians? yeah your right.

[skaarj658]

Mordin: so dont ahem ingest USE MENTOS FRESH AND COOLNESS INSTEAD

Shepard:too late (full mouth of .....)

[supervegito2277]

@skaarj658 "illusive man" DAMN it that ship costed too much to create and now another 2 yrs with a new lazerus project, not to mentione the entire crew, sheet, well now they have the experiance, i think im just gonna stay and look at this nice red star.

[metropolis02]

so,ah...(sugestive hand gesture),don't ingest!

[callmetatersalad132]

lolz

positions(doggystyle)

[PedroMM193]

Mordin: ... So don't, ah, ingest.

Shepard: Too late.

[lorcan0c]

@Nevordan What, you mean the Kaminoans? I suppose the large eyes and thin skeleltal structure + white uniform and penchant for science do imply simmilarities.

[jarheadkauai]

So bioware, when do we get to see these "videos"?

[Speedzx3]

Oils or ointments... what?

[furyb008]

what?

[Masume25]

Mordin is clearly the most hilarious character in the ME universe.

[Matt561 <]

@Masume25 Only because he is not trying to be lol