I think I'm a good and hard working person, but my partner always slips comments in suggesting I'm lazy, messy etc. The comments can seem harmless but leaves me feeling really nervous and horrible. It's like I can never do things right no matter how hard I try. If I know he's on his way home and I see something he'll comment on I almost die from anxiety.
Then I hate myself for being weak and let it get to me.
Her books are some of the best books I have read. I like the ways of tackling people with verbal abuse. I was abused by my boyfriend, some bosses and I was bullied at school.
I get verbally abused by my parents. Mostly dad. Hes grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back really hard before. Its like everydays the same.. He doesnt trust me. I always end up being in my room, crying the pain away.
"You need everyone to agree with you and you get mad when things don't go your way- that's what you're really angry about- it;'s not anything I did!" ...anyone been told this before? Doesn't it just make you feel like you're just a simple arrogant childish person? Arrgh......and it just throws me off when this 'guy' says this to me , makes me loose my train of thought...and it's the ultimate put down.
I watched this video to learn and understand the abuse I suffered from my WIFE. The information is good but this woman clearly has a bias against men. NEWSFLASH FOR PATRICIA EVANS: WOMAN ARE ABUSIVE TOO!!!!!! Some balance would increase your credibility tenfold!!
I left an abusive relationship a few weeks ago. I was so confused and felt like everything was my fault. I felt suicidal and depressed. Although I knew it was NOT my fault somehow I second guessed myself because of this man. Sometimes I felt like I was living with Satan, not a fiancee. It was God who compelled me to wake up and realize I am a beautiful woman and I am a child of God, not a doormat. Jesus died so I can be free not enslaved to another man's warped sense of self.
Hm, this is really peculiar: it's all aimed at ending abuse in men? I did a search for "verbal abuse" because me and my children are regularly abused verbally by a woman...
I have found her material extremely helpful. MEVAC is a support group helping men end verbal abuse and control. I believe her ideas about defining someone's inner word is a profound idea. Simply watching the news and talking heads shows how prevalent verbal abuse and control is.
If you are in, know someone in or think you are in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship, Chicken Nachos is a must read! Change the laws to protect the innocent and help protect the victims as they free themselves from the abuse.
I wish that the people who made comments were more educated and compassionate instead of ignorant morons who make simpleminded, base insults. I have lived through a verbally abusive relationship and I came to this video to assist in rebuilding my life. Patricia Evans is spot-on in her insights.
@gingergiblet Frankly, I don't know if you're angry cause women cry foul all the time or that you don't believe that there is such a thing as abuse. Or maybe you're trying to justify abusive behavior for all the supposed things that men have done; for example, I saved you so that I get to rape you, or I helped you out that one time and now I get to bit the living shit out of you, like you're holier than thou. Men definitely should be supported more, but abuse is not ok on either side.
@gingergiblet well ive been emotionally abused by my mum since i was about, well since i can remember, so i don't think it's confined to males in relationships, there's no need to be rude about women :/
@MahBoi22 Thankyou for your honesty. In my life experience women are far more verbally absuive than man. In fact that also applies for physical abuse in many ways! It's just always more severe when men hit women as we are the gender equipped for fighting. And men know that any man who is willing to hit a woman is an animal.
Which goes to show that the vast majority of men are out to protect women.
But men usually suffer emotional distress from the way their women treat them!
Here's something we can all do to stop verbal abuse. Get a backbone and stand the fuck up for yourself. Really you can't play a victim with verbal abuse. Only you can let it affect you. If you're a weakling and don't defend yourself, you're not a victim because you're weak. And if you're NOT weak, you're not a victim because you are strong enough to defend your own honor.
Ummm.... How would I have my parents read that I'm so sure! Hey you treat me like I'm worthless shit and make me want to jump off a bridge and here's why.
I'm starting to read your book about controlling people. You say there "beside themselves" but what if they say your worthless?? That seems very intentional to me
Wow. I wish you could talk to my parents. I'm 18 and I don't think I should be this vulernable. They say they love me sometimes but they treat me with hate. My dad use to tell me when I was little that exact phrase: stop crying or I'll give you something real to cry about! It was scary all I wanted was comfort I was five years old but can still remember. Today my mom said I'm always mad and that she can't be around me for five minutes without me trying to start a right which wasn't my intention
Wow. I wish you could talk to my parents. I'm 18 and I don't think I should be this vulernable. They say they love me sometimes but they treat me with hate. My dad use to tell me when I was little that exact phrase: stop crying or I'll give you something real to cry about! It was scary all I wanted was comfort I was five years old but can still remember. Today my mom said I'm always mad and that she can't be around me for five minutes without me trying to start a right which wasn't my intention
From my experience,I have noticed that verbal abuse is the phase 1, the brainwashing stage, emotional abuse is phase 2, preparing the victim to become zombiefied, allowing the abuser full control over the victim and then physical abuse phase.The dominace of ones power over the victim. It's done slowly so the victim doen't realize what has happened., The the victim feels helpless and at a point of no return. I borrowed your book from my therapist. Excellent!
i agree with patricia on inside person and outside person..im in a verbally abusive relationship and am finding it difficult to get out..and it is hard to explain and i never realised how bad verbal abuse can be to someone until i experienced it myself...abuse in general in relationships should be made more aware
i agree with patricia on inside person and outside person..im in a verbally abusive relationship and am finding it difficult to get out..and it is hard to explain and i never realised how bad verbal abuse can be to someone until i experienced it myself...abuse in general in relationships should be made more aware
I got 20 seconds into the video before I decided to turn it off and comment. Verbal abuse is so purposely ambiguous. You're reasoning for what defines verbal abuse is the most illogical thing I have ever heard. ANYTHING negative is verbal abuse. You would do yourself a lot better to call yourself sexist.
PS: I love how its men who do the verbal abusing and its men that need to change. Please don't reproduce
Her books are soo insightful and can bring emotional health and internal safety back too you or to you for the first time. Very very honest stuff exposing the reasons many times we feel angry at significant others as well as what to do.. I just can't say enough about her books!
Patricia! I love your books. I've read both books mentioned and was amazed at what I learned. I had no idea I knew so little, but now I understand what I grew up with and what I married in to and it was amazing to know it and understand it and to have real tools to work with it.
I do not give my previous abusers any access. No contact. I pitty abusers, but I pitty their victims even more. I'd love to see them punished somehow, but we know how subtle they can be. They will get whats...
I'm one of those men who was able to -- finally -- recognize my verbally abusive and controlling behavior. Many months of therapy, an ultimatum by my wife, and the documentation my wife could provide my therapist and Patricia Evans' "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" led to my epiphany, and my life as a non-abusive, non-controlling individual is immeasurably better. CAVEAT: The abuser should be introduced to it only AFTER they see their abusivenss else they may use it against the partner.
Your books were suggested to me by a friend over 4 years ago - they changed my life. I was in a bad marriage for 10 years until a year ago, when I scooped up our little girl and moved 250 miles away while the divorce is going on. Of course, he's the same in the divorce as he was in the marriage, but I'M FREE. I finally made it out!!! Thank you, Patricia.
Thanks so much for your books. It's not always easy for a victim of verbal abuse to recognize it as such and understand what is happening in the relationship. Your books explain it all!
the more people learn about verbal abuse, the hidden epidemic that has no outward wounds, but the inward wounds if they could be seen would be horrifying to the human eye, the more victims of it could get help and be understood!
I...t has been said to be more traumatizing then being physically abused. Please spread the word and save a victim!
During this vid im just,like yep, my mom does that...and that.....and that...etc.
TheAnimeLuvr 1 day ago
Verbal abuse comes from both men and women.....in either case, it's harmful and destructive.
cdawg4391 6 days ago
I think I'm a good and hard working person, but my partner always slips comments in suggesting I'm lazy, messy etc. The comments can seem harmless but leaves me feeling really nervous and horrible. It's like I can never do things right no matter how hard I try. If I know he's on his way home and I see something he'll comment on I almost die from anxiety.
Then I hate myself for being weak and let it get to me.
ameisingset 1 week ago
@ameisingset You are a victim. I pray for you.
cdawg4391 6 days ago
@cdawg4391 Thank you.
ameisingset 2 days ago
I owned everyone of your books and he threw them away. He won't admit it,but they are all missing from my library...grrrr!
MortgageCami 2 weeks ago
RIP PAT EVANS -3
Kayanite1 1 month ago
If i went to the police and told them my father called me a fucking cunt would they take me seriously?
asava17 2 months ago
Your books are GREAT,and HELPFUL,and so are your you tube videos.Keep up the great work,you are truly helping many women in criss !!
gloriajeanray 2 months ago
Her books are some of the best books I have read. I like the ways of tackling people with verbal abuse. I was abused by my boyfriend, some bosses and I was bullied at school.
charreva 3 months ago 3
I get verbally abused by my parents. Mostly dad. Hes grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back really hard before. Its like everydays the same.. He doesnt trust me. I always end up being in my room, crying the pain away.
snowie32398 3 months ago
"You need everyone to agree with you and you get mad when things don't go your way- that's what you're really angry about- it;'s not anything I did!" ...anyone been told this before? Doesn't it just make you feel like you're just a simple arrogant childish person? Arrgh......and it just throws me off when this 'guy' says this to me , makes me loose my train of thought...and it's the ultimate put down.
fetishisticrose 4 months ago
I watched this video to learn and understand the abuse I suffered from my WIFE. The information is good but this woman clearly has a bias against men. NEWSFLASH FOR PATRICIA EVANS: WOMAN ARE ABUSIVE TOO!!!!!! Some balance would increase your credibility tenfold!!
pvanleer1959 5 months ago
wow I need these books...going to your website now!!!
JSWELCH 5 months ago
i was looking for the band......... FUCK
Grule100 6 months ago
I left an abusive relationship a few weeks ago. I was so confused and felt like everything was my fault. I felt suicidal and depressed. Although I knew it was NOT my fault somehow I second guessed myself because of this man. Sometimes I felt like I was living with Satan, not a fiancee. It was God who compelled me to wake up and realize I am a beautiful woman and I am a child of God, not a doormat. Jesus died so I can be free not enslaved to another man's warped sense of self.
holyspiritgirl111 7 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Who wants to have a laugh at British justice???
Any Rap artist/Emcee or Poet in the U.K can get this ban....
Check out the "official crown court papers" from the court case that lead
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donhonki1 7 months ago
Hm, this is really peculiar: it's all aimed at ending abuse in men? I did a search for "verbal abuse" because me and my children are regularly abused verbally by a woman...
Jyotirveda2 7 months ago
I have found her material extremely helpful. MEVAC is a support group helping men end verbal abuse and control. I believe her ideas about defining someone's inner word is a profound idea. Simply watching the news and talking heads shows how prevalent verbal abuse and control is.
MrJeffreymeyer 8 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Chicken Nachos The Book
Amazon and Barnes and Noble
Verbal and Emotional Abuse = Domestic Violence
If you are in, know someone in or think you are in a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship, Chicken Nachos is a must read! Change the laws to protect the innocent and help protect the victims as they free themselves from the abuse.
ChickenNachosPG 9 months ago
I wish that the people who made comments were more educated and compassionate instead of ignorant morons who make simpleminded, base insults. I have lived through a verbally abusive relationship and I came to this video to assist in rebuilding my life. Patricia Evans is spot-on in her insights.
greenranger8100 10 months ago 9
Comment removed
gingergiblet 10 months ago
Comment removed
iRackasher 10 months ago
@gingergiblet Frankly, I don't know if you're angry cause women cry foul all the time or that you don't believe that there is such a thing as abuse. Or maybe you're trying to justify abusive behavior for all the supposed things that men have done; for example, I saved you so that I get to rape you, or I helped you out that one time and now I get to bit the living shit out of you, like you're holier than thou. Men definitely should be supported more, but abuse is not ok on either side.
FromBoomTown 6 months ago 3
Comment removed
gingergiblet 10 months ago
@gingergiblet well ive been emotionally abused by my mum since i was about, well since i can remember, so i don't think it's confined to males in relationships, there's no need to be rude about women :/
theworldinnit 8 months ago 4
@theworldinnit That's different, you didn't choose your mom, whereas women choose there men.
gingergiblet 8 months ago
@MahBoi22 Thankyou for your honesty. In my life experience women are far more verbally absuive than man. In fact that also applies for physical abuse in many ways! It's just always more severe when men hit women as we are the gender equipped for fighting. And men know that any man who is willing to hit a woman is an animal.
Which goes to show that the vast majority of men are out to protect women.
But men usually suffer emotional distress from the way their women treat them!
Tis shite.
gingergiblet 10 months ago
Here's something we can all do to stop verbal abuse. Get a backbone and stand the fuck up for yourself. Really you can't play a victim with verbal abuse. Only you can let it affect you. If you're a weakling and don't defend yourself, you're not a victim because you're weak. And if you're NOT weak, you're not a victim because you are strong enough to defend your own honor.
MahBoi22 10 months ago
what if everyone sees the dark side of the person but doesn do nothing for the pray at hand ?
can you tell verbal abuse ?
sexiilicous1 10 months ago
All verbal abusers need to burn in hell
gingerisevil02 1 year ago
@gingerisevil02 sometimes it could be used as discipline as it has disciplined me to achieve greater goals
TheSyuFan 11 months ago
Ummm.... How would I have my parents read that I'm so sure! Hey you treat me like I'm worthless shit and make me want to jump off a bridge and here's why.
gingerisevil02 1 year ago
What about a teacher who is verbally abusive, how do you handle that as a parent for their child and themselves?
lindasings4him 1 year ago
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annajuikjuikol 1 year ago
Your Verbal Abuse Book is literally a God-send! REALLY- you saved me from so much confusion I had been drowning in!!! TY!!!!!!
HeidiIvy 1 year ago
I'm starting to read your book about controlling people. You say there "beside themselves" but what if they say your worthless?? That seems very intentional to me
gingerisevil02 1 year ago
Wow. I wish you could talk to my parents. I'm 18 and I don't think I should be this vulernable. They say they love me sometimes but they treat me with hate. My dad use to tell me when I was little that exact phrase: stop crying or I'll give you something real to cry about! It was scary all I wanted was comfort I was five years old but can still remember. Today my mom said I'm always mad and that she can't be around me for five minutes without me trying to start a right which wasn't my intention
gingerisevil02 1 year ago
Wow. I wish you could talk to my parents. I'm 18 and I don't think I should be this vulernable. They say they love me sometimes but they treat me with hate. My dad use to tell me when I was little that exact phrase: stop crying or I'll give you something real to cry about! It was scary all I wanted was comfort I was five years old but can still remember. Today my mom said I'm always mad and that she can't be around me for five minutes without me trying to start a right which wasn't my intention
gingerisevil02 1 year ago
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tilleypete4 1 year ago
From my experience,I have noticed that verbal abuse is the phase 1, the brainwashing stage, emotional abuse is phase 2, preparing the victim to become zombiefied, allowing the abuser full control over the victim and then physical abuse phase.The dominace of ones power over the victim. It's done slowly so the victim doen't realize what has happened., The the victim feels helpless and at a point of no return. I borrowed your book from my therapist. Excellent!
bssmart1118 1 year ago 3
This has been flagged as spam show
That's nothing compare to what I go thru almost every day!
Andysproudmom 1 year ago
That's nothing compare to what I go thru almos every day!
Andysproudmom 1 year ago
i agree with patricia on inside person and outside person..im in a verbally abusive relationship and am finding it difficult to get out..and it is hard to explain and i never realised how bad verbal abuse can be to someone until i experienced it myself...abuse in general in relationships should be made more aware
leoniejoseph 1 year ago
i agree with patricia on inside person and outside person..im in a verbally abusive relationship and am finding it difficult to get out..and it is hard to explain and i never realised how bad verbal abuse can be to someone until i experienced it myself...abuse in general in relationships should be made more aware
leoniejoseph 1 year ago
I got 20 seconds into the video before I decided to turn it off and comment. Verbal abuse is so purposely ambiguous. You're reasoning for what defines verbal abuse is the most illogical thing I have ever heard. ANYTHING negative is verbal abuse. You would do yourself a lot better to call yourself sexist.
PS: I love how its men who do the verbal abusing and its men that need to change. Please don't reproduce
BlackandBluekite 1 year ago
@BlackandBluekite : I suggest watching the video before criticizing its claims. You haven't even watched it! How do you know this?
skwarepeg10 1 year ago 2
Her books are soo insightful and can bring emotional health and internal safety back too you or to you for the first time. Very very honest stuff exposing the reasons many times we feel angry at significant others as well as what to do.. I just can't say enough about her books!
Eversandero 1 year ago
@Eversandero Im 45 single male been single for many years.
Eversandero 1 year ago
Patricia! I love your books. I've read both books mentioned and was amazed at what I learned. I had no idea I knew so little, but now I understand what I grew up with and what I married in to and it was amazing to know it and understand it and to have real tools to work with it.
I do not give my previous abusers any access. No contact. I pitty abusers, but I pitty their victims even more. I'd love to see them punished somehow, but we know how subtle they can be. They will get whats...
louisgjordan2 1 year ago
I'm one of those men who was able to -- finally -- recognize my verbally abusive and controlling behavior. Many months of therapy, an ultimatum by my wife, and the documentation my wife could provide my therapist and Patricia Evans' "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" led to my epiphany, and my life as a non-abusive, non-controlling individual is immeasurably better. CAVEAT: The abuser should be introduced to it only AFTER they see their abusivenss else they may use it against the partner.
boeflak 1 year ago 2
Your books were suggested to me by a friend over 4 years ago - they changed my life. I was in a bad marriage for 10 years until a year ago, when I scooped up our little girl and moved 250 miles away while the divorce is going on. Of course, he's the same in the divorce as he was in the marriage, but I'M FREE. I finally made it out!!! Thank you, Patricia.
MsFrenchPetal 1 year ago
Thanks so much for your books. It's not always easy for a victim of verbal abuse to recognize it as such and understand what is happening in the relationship. Your books explain it all!
Voyeur53 1 year ago
EXCELLENT!!!!
Thank you Patricia for being a voice for us!!!!
the more people learn about verbal abuse, the hidden epidemic that has no outward wounds, but the inward wounds if they could be seen would be horrifying to the human eye, the more victims of it could get help and be understood!
I...t has been said to be more traumatizing then being physically abused. Please spread the word and save a victim!
kimweston1 2 years ago
@kimweston1 not just kim but everyone: what about when women are abusive?
fallencypress2 6 months ago