"Harold Bloom is a misogynistic narcissist. He is not even in their English department. They gave him his own department of humanities because nobody could frackin stand him." - Lol. No idea if this is true, but it sounds plausible.
I recall a friend following the upper levels of Liberal Arts degrees, they can no-longer enjoy reading anything because of the academic conditioning that passes for practical criticism, their mind is so trained to follow particular directions of thought that no individual reaction to writing is possible-a very sad result indeed.
I was like this girl a few years ago, and after years of grad school and teaching in college (in the middle of nowhere) I agree with everything the professor said! It's depressing, but true. I wish people who are thinking about getting a Ph.D could watch this before it is too late.
Never again assign a $140 textbook to your students. There are free books published under a Creative Commons license that are better. Check out Flat World Knowledge.
@CalifaJohn1 That's because science research is a marketable product for sale and has a history of being sold to various entities. Read Morgan Giddings' book "Why science is broken." A glimpse of his book can be found on a blog via google.
@UltraProle21 No, because in English courses they have a specializations that they teach. All of the readings are under one umbrella, it's not just a bunch of randoms.
A buddy of mine and I went on a orientation for a Physics PH.D at one of the UC's. We were the oldest ppl there, and when we heard this guy tell us that we would expect to work very hard for about 1600/month, we told him this was a scam. He sort of agreed with us, basically saying that research money was being cut, and it would b very difficult to ever get tenure. He told us working with him in his lab was worth the poor pay and chances. We said jam it & walked out. Arrogant sob but honest.
Beyond a certain level Education is useless, it stops being practical and becomes entirely theoretical. You teach theory to other people so that they can teach that theory to other people, who will never use it in their entire lives.
I was just like this girl when I entered grad school. But once I started.......OH!! MY FUCKING GOD......I realized what a hell-hole grad school was and I walked out with a masters degree in 1.5 years (and I have no job now, but....but.....I have zero student loans!!!). Grad sucks ROYALLY and the whole academic system is going down the shitter.
@TheChromelover Yup. If someone tells ya that the sciences are the way to go, punch them in the mouth. The NIH/NSF r cutting their grants, and they're the biggest granting orgs in the world. What that means is that there is far less need for PH.d's and grad students, but the unis won't tell yass that. It's a scam in order to get cheap labor to teach overcrowded undergrad classes filled with children who still believe that a BS is their ticket to money. They're going to get reamed without cream.
"Where you will discuss just how much of your salary the administration thinks you can do without, and how many more classes you can teach so they can increase the millionaire salary of the football coach!" HAHAHAHAHAHA... but seriously now, football is legit .
Just curious, to all the naysayers of humanities PhDs posting comments...Do you think that EVERYONE trying to become an academic professional should give up? Clearly we need some people to succeed, and they only way they can do that is through a PhD program. Should we completely give up on the idea of encouraging any future professors? The video itself states that half of those going into the field end up on a tenure track. Not amazing odds, but it's worth it to have good professors, no?
@nothlithawk777 That figure of 50% of PhDs getting tenure track jobs is wildly optimistic, especially in the humanities. I don't know what the figures are now but I'd be surprised if it was more than 20-25%, if even that high. Most teaching jobs are for part-time adjuncts or full time instructors with limited term contracts, heavy course loads (10-12 classes per year), often minimal benefits, and no job security. Tenure? Good luck. Not pretty but it's reality.
@Bemused46 Even if it is 20-25%, the point I'm making is that we shouldn't use that number to discourage people from pursuing a PhD (although it's a good idea to turn away the ones doing it for the wrong reasons). Most good jobs are heavily competitive.
@nothlithawk777 Au contraire, we should discourage as many people as possible from pursuing a PhD so that only the ones who really really really really want it do so. But those who go for it should know upfront the odds & the sacrifices: the 7+ years of servitude, poverty, & humiliation; starting your career late (30s) and in heavy debt; & stress on family life (e.g. relatively high divorce rate). All for a 1 in 5 chance of getting a (probably) low-paying "good" job.
@Bemused46 It just seems to me that if the end is to find the best professors,we should have as many people trying for a PhD/professorship as possible. Just because someone ignores all the negatives involved doesn't mean they're the best person for the job, necessarily. And just because someone is discouraged by the statistics doesn't mean they wouldn't be suited for the job. My concern is that we'd only be encouraging those who can already afford grad school and discouraging the disadvantaged.
Thoughts from an English grad student: If you can't live without literature, go to grad school, just find some other way to use your degree instead of expecting to be a professor.
@martyn580 its great! makes it sound passive-aggressive. no, but seriously, its because in the program u just type in the text and it puts it together.
have a football team. And you have to have somewhat difficult discussions about your salary and workload pretty much regardless of where you work.
14. "Humanities in higher education is under attack"- That is not necessarily a permanent. That's just the case right now when our economy sucks.
15. You will discover that your life has been a complete waste." -That is silly. I don't think most college professors would agree with that. That's more of a personality thing than a career thing.
@robjs89 It took like 10 minutes, and I've thought about it all before. Plus, it seemed like a lot of people were getting really upset by it, so a counter-argument couldn't hurt.
@bkapilow1 To quote the video: You cannot seriously be this stupid. You clearly know NOTHING about real academia and, more importantly, about life. I come from an academic family (4 PhDs), I have a PhD & my wife is an adjunct. Almost everything in this video is true. I too didn't care about money. Twenty years later & I care shitloads about it. "Doing something you love" is not a complete substitute for health care, vacations, retirement, etc. But do go ahead, you'll see for yourself.
@BeepimajeepBeep That would be a lucrative choice but I'd rather not sell my soul. But, as you surmised, I am in the sciences. People who go to school for a degree in the arts or social sciences are deluding themselves if they think there is a job waiting for them in their field. Getting a job, even with a science related degree, can be tough. Why sabotage yourself by getting a useless degree?
@Bemused46 I didn't say it was a "complete substitute". I just think it's better than having those things but doing something you hate. What percent of your life is spent in retirement vs. the percent spent working? What percent of your year is spent on vacations vs. the percent spent working? If you hit it big and make tons of money in something you hate, what percent of your life is spent in situations in which you will be having fun spending that money vs. the percent that you will spend....
@Bemused46 (cont.) working? To me, that's a no-brainer. And while there is a possibility of being adjunct for a long period of time and not making a ton of money, try actually doing something in the humanities, like being a professional poet or composer. As low as your odds are for becoming a professor, the odds are RIDICULOUSLY low to do any of that. So while I agree that if your two most ideal careers are lawyer and professor of art history, it might be in your best interest to pursue the...
@Bemused46 (cont.) former, I think that if your only interest is in the humanities, being a professor is among the best options. Much better than doing something that you hate.
@bkapilow1 My GOD... this total spoof produced a serious thesis. You didn't see this as parodic at all? I fell over laughing. "I will write great things about Emerson. And death."
writing or studio art or anything in that vein, you are just expected to get lots of people to like your work, which should be your goal if those are your interests anyway.
13. "You will serve on 5-6 committees at your school where you will discuss just how much of your salary the administrators believe you can do without and how many more classes they believe you can teach so they can increase the millionaire salary of the football coach."- It depends where you teach. My college doesn't even...
(cont). an obscure article that no one cares about in an obscure scholarly journal that no one will read just so you can put it on your CV." - Define "nobody". It is true that you will write for a specialized audience, but is that necessarily a bad thing? Writing for a specialized group enables you to say whatever you want and not have to simplify things in a way that any random person could understand. And it's not necessarily a journal. If you are teaching music composition or creative...
10. "Who in the world do you think will be willing to follow you to Alaska so you can teach at Juno Community College?"- See my first point. And almost all of the professors I've taken classes with have families. Again, you meet new people wherever you go.
11. "Women are usually offered the lower paying position"- Unfortunately, this is not exclusive to academia. This is a larger societal problem.
12. "Being a college professor means you will work on average 65 hours a week trying to publish...
(cont). especially people whom you can talk to about your main interests.
8. "The only thing students will think critically about is how to lie to you about why they didn't complete their papers on time for your class"- Come on, that is obviously not true. Plus similar things like this happen to anyone in an administrative position. Workers are always giving excuses for why they didn't do what was expected of them.
9. "Harold Bloom is a misogynistic narcissist"- So don't study with him.
(cont). additional money doesn't really make you much happier. And you are not going to actually be starving if you are an adjunct faculty member. So I think it's worth it.
6. "I share my office with four other professors"- So? What do you intend to do in the office that needs privacy? Masturbate?
7. "You will teach 50 kids a semester and read thousands of pages a week"- That sounds fun, especially if you like public speaking, which I imagine most TAs do. And meeting new people is always fun..
(cont). like being a professional singer or writer. That is WAY lower than 50%.
5. "You will probably end up as an adjunct, and will make less money than most of the janitors and secretaries in the school."- So? At least you are doing something that you love, which the janitors and secretaries might not be doing. I know so many rich lawyers and bankers who are miserable. Barry Schwartz, a nationally recognized psychology, did tons of studies on this and found that unless you are destitute...
(cont). Emerson?"- Well, if your main interest is in Emerson, what would you prefer to be doing in the library? It is only "wasting away" if it doesn't excite you. But if you are extremely interested in Emerson, then spending all of your time in a library trying to figure out more about him sounds perfect, no?
4. "Less than half of PHDs get a tenure track position"- All things considered, that is not THAT low. And there are lots of competitive jobs. Try doing anything else in the humanities...
(cont). discipline that particularly interests them. What's wrong with specializing? Also, you don't only teach what you specialize in. My composition teacher teaches tons of classes about traditional classical music, and the creative writing teacher didn't even get a degree in creative writing. Plus every school has "intro" classes which deal with broader issues.
3. "What will you do after you spend 7 to 9 years of your life wasting away in a library trying to say something original about...
(cont). have to be open to teaching in the middle of nowhere if that's all that's available, but I don't think that's more likely to happen than teaching near a city, because most cities have colleges associated with them. Also, what is so bad about living in the middle of nowhere? All research shows that the idea of "community" and "home" is extremely malleable.
2. "You can't specialize in broad themes"- So what? Why is that remotely a bad thing? Surely most people have ONE thing about a..
I don't know, but I still want to be a college professor just as much after watching this video, because I don't think any of these arguments were that strong. Going through the points made...
1. "Do you want to move to the middle of nowhere to teach?"- I think you have just as much of a likelihood of teaching in the middle of nowhere as you do anywhere else. I mean, Boston has the most colleges of any town or city in the country, and that isn't in the middle of nowhere. It's true that you...
so after watching like 15 of these vids (different subjects), what do the makers propose people do with their lives aside from, "not follow your dream"? because honestly I'd rather pursue my dream and fail than never try at all. I think it funny that when someone follows their dream and the passion and it works it is inspiring and awesome, but when someone tries to follow their dream people just try to shoot them down.
not that the vids aren't funny, because there is some truth to it but still
@orangeapples I agree with you that these videos can be cruel when it comes to trying to pursue your dream degree and job, but to people who just want these degrees and jobs because they think they are easy to obtain or pay well/have good benefits, then this is a little accurate. I say, even if your dream job is hard to get, if you want it badly enough, then go for it :) I'd rather have my dream job in poverty than have a well paying job that I hate.
That girl was me 1 year ago. I just finished my Masters in Medieval Studies, and I could not be happier to be getting out of the grad school experience. What a waste of my time. I finally realize that the academic life is the total opposite of the fantasy I had built up in my head. Unfortunately I had to spend $10000 to figure this out. Not to mention that academics are complete SNOBS!!!!
@loverofhighlanders20 OMG I work with these academics and they are total SNOBS...they ignore you unless you literally fall in their walking path, they ignore your emails, they stare at you when you have questions as if they literally born with the knowledge that they have, it's their way or the highway, and then they give you these smug smiles...NOT A COOL BUNCH ;p
Obscurantist/plagiarist/historical revisionist Christopher (bearer of Christ) Hitchens supports the eugenic policies of the modern-day Western World.
Let us do nothing of noteworthiness to undermine the power of honesty that attorneys, who are lawyers, possess! Their presence stands in equal importance & measure as does the name Suki to Korean exotica, as do glands that one barely gives a stinking shit about—glands nonetheless that cause instantaneous crap-outs to the unaware upon failure, upon the failure between light & dark, lightness & darkness, to cram—to engorge, excoriate & stumble upon shambling wrecks crapped out in Arabian deserts.
Is this seriously what a PhD in humanities is like? I'm nearly done my PhD in computer science and my experience has been nothing like this: TAing was easy money with minimal work, and I received a full tuition scholarship, so while money is tight, I don't require loans or anything like that. (This is in Canada, so of course, it may be quite different here, too.)
Colleges need drastic reforms! Let's start a movement to change things. Type Reform Higher Education Now in the search box on Facebook or click CollegeReform below.
@amazzasohowny The English higher education system has turned to farse, who in gods name thinks £36,000 is the value of a degree? Apart from the Chancellors of course?
If you live Scotland then things are better... for now.
I went to grad school, got my Ph.D. and became a professional historian (non-academic) because I couldn't imagine doing anything else. I still can't.
I also can't image having health benefits, a savings account, investments or an IRA, or ever retiring. Or traveling, replacing my 20-year-old appliances, hiring people to fix things, eating out or seeing movies in theaters, having a life....
This is the usual modern stereotype about the humanities. Ok, so I didn't get a masters in English lit; it was Professional Communication (in the English department). I taught as a grad assistant, then as an adjunct. I worked my butt off and was promoted to Instructor, and then got a job in another college as Assistant Professor (yes, with a Masters). I don't make a huge amount of money, but I do exactly what I want to do.
@katfbedsole My mom sent me this as what, some kind of sick pessimistic joke? Seriously, just because her life sucked doesn't mean mine has to. Life IS what you make of it, and I intend to enjoy mine.
Wow! I couldn't imagine life is so hard for college professors in USA. In Croatia (my home country) , an average college professor earns an above-average wage (which can be increased trough projects), and his teaching assistants do most of his work (test grading, lectures...). His only obligation is to hold a lecture once or twice a week. And it's all the same for all the sciences. Oh, and they need to have a few "science projects" done every few years, but that's basically nothing.
do you want to stay single the rest of your life? who in the world do you think will be willing to follow you to Alaska, so you can teach at juno community college. LOLSSSS
Welcome to the neoliberal age! Yes we need money, but telling us that having a PdD in English is a waste of time! Instead they should question who is behind marginalizing them. Those greedy vicious cold creatures, that in the name of their god MONEY, have been destroying our world by their wars, financial corruption. It is about the fight between those who are struggling to keep human beings human, and those who want to make them machines that serve there greed. Viva PhD professors!
Welcome to the neoliberal age! Yes we need money, but telling us that having a PdD in English is a waste of time! Instead they should question who is behind marginalizing them. Those greedy vicious cold creatures, that in the name of their god MONEY, have been destroying our world by their wars, financial corruption. It is about the fight between those who are struggling to keep human beings human, and those who want to make them machines that serve there greed. Viva PhD professors!
This is pretty accurate. One girl from university went back to try and be a lecturer, despite never getting more than a B (2.1) in her essays, and being explicitly told by the lecturer she had for two years that she was nowhere near good enough.
The only Ph.D.'s that are somewhat useful are those in Science related fields, and even at that, only those from Top-20 institutions will get decent jobs.
For Business, stick with an M.B.A. from a Top-10 B-School and tell Ph.D. recruiters to fuck off.
For Law stick with the J.D. or J.D./M.B.A.(IF you got funding), and try to go to a Top-30 LS and be a gunner in order to get a job.
As a recovering academic, also with a useless Ph.D. from a top-5 program, I can say with certainty that this clip summarizes PRECISELY the "being a college professor" experience. If you doubt it, then go to grad school and see for yourself, only to realize too late these four words: IT. IS. FUCKIN. TRUE.
This summarises personal and existential crises in my life perfectly. So many people want just what the undergrad girl wants in life, but if we all try and climb onto the same boat, would it not capsize? Do we pursue potential fulfilment in academics at great life expense all in the hope of finding what we're looking for in a field with ever shrinking demand or do we try and make it big via slogging way and destoying our souls in shitty office jobs?
This is truly funny, however much of a caricature that it is. The odds are against you, and videos like this help to scare off much of the competition, as did the warnings given to graduate students and potential graduate students telling them that there are no jobs in English, etc. I found not one but two and the current one is a dream job. I'm happy that many were disabused of their dreams. It has helped clear the underbrush.
This is so disturbing, I recognized that speech so well and sadly felt identified, like we say in Spanish "me quedó el saco" (the jacket just fitted me).
"Harold Bloom is a misogynistic narcissist. He is not even in their English department. They gave him his own department of humanities because nobody could frackin stand him." - Lol. No idea if this is true, but it sounds plausible.
hamfisto 6 days ago in playlist Favorite videos
I recall a friend following the upper levels of Liberal Arts degrees, they can no-longer enjoy reading anything because of the academic conditioning that passes for practical criticism, their mind is so trained to follow particular directions of thought that no individual reaction to writing is possible-a very sad result indeed.
GalaxyHorse 1 week ago
This video is pathetic and depressing.
Akimoto873 2 weeks ago
@Akimoto873 sounds like someone wants to be a college professor.
1020Shane 2 weeks ago
I was like this girl a few years ago, and after years of grad school and teaching in college (in the middle of nowhere) I agree with everything the professor said! It's depressing, but true. I wish people who are thinking about getting a Ph.D could watch this before it is too late.
univchi 2 weeks ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Never again assign a $140 textbook to your students. There are free books published under a Creative Commons license that are better. Check out Flat World Knowledge.
MrWilliamBauer 3 weeks ago
Wow. She even looks like me. Ouch. :(
SoAndSoIknow 3 weeks ago
However witty this is, I can't help but be very much depressed by it...
AdStudendum 1 month ago
What a strange cartoon clip.
TheExaltedPheonix 1 month ago
I like how she mentions the millionaire salary paid to the football coach. hah.
spanishclass11 1 month ago 2
SIRI?!?!?
brian940808 1 month ago
okay, not to be a stick in the mud, but is it that bloody hard to find someone to read dialogue?
Omniceros 2 months ago
@Omniceros Next time instead of commenting, post a video reply read by an actor.
aluisious 1 month ago
@Omniceros LOL this is Xtranormal. The clip is all that more hilarious because of it. !!!
textcavation 1 month ago
LOL, this is so true...
TwistedMind6969 2 months ago
I'm applying to grad school this year and this video is hilarious! haha
DJZanark 2 months ago 4
lol, this is great
evilmamaluigi 2 months ago
So you want to do ANYTHING: TOO BAD ASSHOLE YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL LIFE IS MEANINGLESS GRAGGHHH GIVE UP NOW
Chaosblade777 2 months ago 10
ROFL
hollidaysrain 2 months ago
i'm sorry but i got bored and stopped listening
DynamoExplorer 2 months ago
The thumbnail alone was enough to know that this was a cheap text to speech video.
xxDrain 2 months ago
Please get the FRAK out of my office.
MisterApathy 2 months ago
As I am writing my phd paper, this is awesome!!!
regency08 2 months ago
The TA comments are overly cynical. I was paid well and it was easy, except for the final and midterm marking.
Floodlezoot 3 months ago
This is true of the humanities, but not science.
CalifaJohn1 3 months ago 21
@CalifaJohn1 nope, it's even worse
MegaBlizzardman 2 months ago
@CalifaJohn1 Nah, it's true of the sciences, as well. It's all of the academies.
dagoberto7 2 months ago 6
@dagoberto7 True enough. We're all screwed.
HeartIOnceHad 2 months ago
@CalifaJohn1 Do you know what they do with engineers when they turn forty?
WritesMe 2 months ago
@WritesMe Only, I think it's more like thirty now.
WritesMe 2 months ago
@WritesMe Take them out and shoot them.
ajhrtmn 1 month ago
@CalifaJohn1
This is so true of the sciences.
ajhrtmn 1 month ago
@CalifaJohn1 That's because science research is a marketable product for sale and has a history of being sold to various entities. Read Morgan Giddings' book "Why science is broken." A glimpse of his book can be found on a blog via google.
Neutral1 1 week ago 2
@CalifaJohn1 As long as a discipline can produce a marketable commodity, it will be funded.
Neutral1 1 week ago
How about PhD in general military combat!?!
Pasguiroq 3 months ago
an english professor saying "what field do you intend to specialize in?"
anyone else find that funny?
UltraProle21 3 months ago
@UltraProle21 Thank you.
DrEckener 3 months ago
@UltraProle21 No, because in English courses they have a specializations that they teach. All of the readings are under one umbrella, it's not just a bunch of randoms.
jdo49 3 months ago
@jdo49 lol that's not what i was referring to. she ended the sentence in a preposition. (in)
UltraProle21 3 months ago
@UltraProle21 Wow, I didn't even notice that at first! That's actually hilarious.
jdo49 2 months ago
Someone do one for "So you want to be a pornstar?"
LatestUFOSightings 4 months ago 31
I don't want a PHd. I'll be happy with a master's degree. Phd is way too much.
theangrylittlebryan 4 months ago
lol
amr1987100 4 months ago
So true about any humanities.
jteruel671 4 months ago
"You came into this world from nothing, and your gonna go back into nothing in the end.....so what have you got to lose??? Nothing!"
From Monty Pythons "The Life of Brian"
Take it for what you will and live your life.
vk732 4 months ago
A buddy of mine and I went on a orientation for a Physics PH.D at one of the UC's. We were the oldest ppl there, and when we heard this guy tell us that we would expect to work very hard for about 1600/month, we told him this was a scam. He sort of agreed with us, basically saying that research money was being cut, and it would b very difficult to ever get tenure. He told us working with him in his lab was worth the poor pay and chances. We said jam it & walked out. Arrogant sob but honest.
ripperduck 4 months ago
Beyond a certain level Education is useless, it stops being practical and becomes entirely theoretical. You teach theory to other people so that they can teach that theory to other people, who will never use it in their entire lives.
DevineCaesar 4 months ago
I was just like this girl when I entered grad school. But once I started.......OH!! MY FUCKING GOD......I realized what a hell-hole grad school was and I walked out with a masters degree in 1.5 years (and I have no job now, but....but.....I have zero student loans!!!). Grad sucks ROYALLY and the whole academic system is going down the shitter.
TheChromelover 4 months ago
@TheChromelover Ain't that the truth, dude. I'm doing a Masters degree in the UK and have learnt absolutely nothing. Expensive too.
UK31337 4 months ago
@TheChromelover Yup. If someone tells ya that the sciences are the way to go, punch them in the mouth. The NIH/NSF r cutting their grants, and they're the biggest granting orgs in the world. What that means is that there is far less need for PH.d's and grad students, but the unis won't tell yass that. It's a scam in order to get cheap labor to teach overcrowded undergrad classes filled with children who still believe that a BS is their ticket to money. They're going to get reamed without cream.
ripperduck 4 months ago
"Where you will discuss just how much of your salary the administration thinks you can do without, and how many more classes you can teach so they can increase the millionaire salary of the football coach!" HAHAHAHAHAHA... but seriously now, football is legit .
3x0rcyst3m 4 months ago
all college professors ARE radical marxists lol
kennygulley23 4 months ago
Indoctrination is not education.
AVIONBLANC 4 months ago
I wish to get in PhD in Batttestar Galactica and the use of the word "frak". Worth it?
SVTSnake 5 months ago
@SVTSnake yes. but only the new version
EliteOfTheRad 3 months ago
Just curious, to all the naysayers of humanities PhDs posting comments...Do you think that EVERYONE trying to become an academic professional should give up? Clearly we need some people to succeed, and they only way they can do that is through a PhD program. Should we completely give up on the idea of encouraging any future professors? The video itself states that half of those going into the field end up on a tenure track. Not amazing odds, but it's worth it to have good professors, no?
nothlithawk777 5 months ago
@nothlithawk777 That figure of 50% of PhDs getting tenure track jobs is wildly optimistic, especially in the humanities. I don't know what the figures are now but I'd be surprised if it was more than 20-25%, if even that high. Most teaching jobs are for part-time adjuncts or full time instructors with limited term contracts, heavy course loads (10-12 classes per year), often minimal benefits, and no job security. Tenure? Good luck. Not pretty but it's reality.
Bemused46 5 months ago
@Bemused46 Even if it is 20-25%, the point I'm making is that we shouldn't use that number to discourage people from pursuing a PhD (although it's a good idea to turn away the ones doing it for the wrong reasons). Most good jobs are heavily competitive.
nothlithawk777 5 months ago
@nothlithawk777 Au contraire, we should discourage as many people as possible from pursuing a PhD so that only the ones who really really really really want it do so. But those who go for it should know upfront the odds & the sacrifices: the 7+ years of servitude, poverty, & humiliation; starting your career late (30s) and in heavy debt; & stress on family life (e.g. relatively high divorce rate). All for a 1 in 5 chance of getting a (probably) low-paying "good" job.
Bemused46 5 months ago
@Bemused46 It just seems to me that if the end is to find the best professors,we should have as many people trying for a PhD/professorship as possible. Just because someone ignores all the negatives involved doesn't mean they're the best person for the job, necessarily. And just because someone is discouraged by the statistics doesn't mean they wouldn't be suited for the job. My concern is that we'd only be encouraging those who can already afford grad school and discouraging the disadvantaged.
nothlithawk777 5 months ago
Fackin SUNY ALBANY.
trackertuber 5 months ago
Thoughts from an English grad student: If you can't live without literature, go to grad school, just find some other way to use your degree instead of expecting to be a professor.
apeacockpersian 5 months ago
@apeacockpersian You're a smart lady. :-)
NAWTPROF 5 months ago
"I want to go to grad school for English."
"...no."
benzbubblecat 5 months ago
Phillips UofW ! ....wait, this sucks
exxx55 5 months ago
what's with the monotone voice?!?
martyn580 5 months ago
@martyn580 its great! makes it sound passive-aggressive. no, but seriously, its because in the program u just type in the text and it puts it together.
lbendik6301 5 months ago
@martyn580 Did you watch until the end of the video? It's the program.
And the monotane makes the sarcasm that much funnier. ):
0truth0 5 months ago
omgosh i can not begin to describe how funny i find this
sugatoniik 6 months ago
I LOVE THIS
plugee 6 months ago
still waiting for the episode, "So you want to be a Pokemon Master"
Phoenix24Leas 6 months ago
this video is SO true...
i'm just glad i found out in time and switched to statistics before it was too late!!! :D
spunkyspunky666 6 months ago
@spunkyspunky666 at least one of us was saved. I am the most educated secretary I have ever met.
ericalyons26 6 months ago
@ericalyons26 :'( ... hang in there...?
spunkyspunky666 6 months ago
have a football team. And you have to have somewhat difficult discussions about your salary and workload pretty much regardless of where you work.
14. "Humanities in higher education is under attack"- That is not necessarily a permanent. That's just the case right now when our economy sucks.
15. You will discover that your life has been a complete waste." -That is silly. I don't think most college professors would agree with that. That's more of a personality thing than a career thing.
THE END
bkapilow1 7 months ago 3
@bkapilow1 ... jesus, why did you even bother writing all that.
robjs89 6 months ago
@robjs89 It took like 10 minutes, and I've thought about it all before. Plus, it seemed like a lot of people were getting really upset by it, so a counter-argument couldn't hurt.
bkapilow1 6 months ago
@bkapilow1 To quote the video: You cannot seriously be this stupid. You clearly know NOTHING about real academia and, more importantly, about life. I come from an academic family (4 PhDs), I have a PhD & my wife is an adjunct. Almost everything in this video is true. I too didn't care about money. Twenty years later & I care shitloads about it. "Doing something you love" is not a complete substitute for health care, vacations, retirement, etc. But do go ahead, you'll see for yourself.
Bemused46 5 months ago
@Bemused46 I teach at a university and make $100,000/year. Of course, I got my PhD in something useful. :-)
NAWTPROF 5 months ago
@NAWTPROF petroleum/ chemical engineering?? :)
BeepimajeepBeep 5 months ago
@BeepimajeepBeep That would be a lucrative choice but I'd rather not sell my soul. But, as you surmised, I am in the sciences. People who go to school for a degree in the arts or social sciences are deluding themselves if they think there is a job waiting for them in their field. Getting a job, even with a science related degree, can be tough. Why sabotage yourself by getting a useless degree?
NAWTPROF 5 months ago
@Bemused46 I didn't say it was a "complete substitute". I just think it's better than having those things but doing something you hate. What percent of your life is spent in retirement vs. the percent spent working? What percent of your year is spent on vacations vs. the percent spent working? If you hit it big and make tons of money in something you hate, what percent of your life is spent in situations in which you will be having fun spending that money vs. the percent that you will spend....
bkapilow1 5 months ago
@Bemused46 (cont.) working? To me, that's a no-brainer. And while there is a possibility of being adjunct for a long period of time and not making a ton of money, try actually doing something in the humanities, like being a professional poet or composer. As low as your odds are for becoming a professor, the odds are RIDICULOUSLY low to do any of that. So while I agree that if your two most ideal careers are lawyer and professor of art history, it might be in your best interest to pursue the...
bkapilow1 5 months ago
@Bemused46 (cont.) former, I think that if your only interest is in the humanities, being a professor is among the best options. Much better than doing something that you hate.
bkapilow1 5 months ago
@Bemused46 if you were so brilliant, you woudnt even get married in the first place if you know you are an adjunct
darkunorthodox 4 months ago
@bkapilow1 My GOD... this total spoof produced a serious thesis. You didn't see this as parodic at all? I fell over laughing. "I will write great things about Emerson. And death."
textcavation 1 month ago 2
writing or studio art or anything in that vein, you are just expected to get lots of people to like your work, which should be your goal if those are your interests anyway.
13. "You will serve on 5-6 committees at your school where you will discuss just how much of your salary the administrators believe you can do without and how many more classes they believe you can teach so they can increase the millionaire salary of the football coach."- It depends where you teach. My college doesn't even...
bkapilow1 7 months ago 2
(cont). an obscure article that no one cares about in an obscure scholarly journal that no one will read just so you can put it on your CV." - Define "nobody". It is true that you will write for a specialized audience, but is that necessarily a bad thing? Writing for a specialized group enables you to say whatever you want and not have to simplify things in a way that any random person could understand. And it's not necessarily a journal. If you are teaching music composition or creative...
bkapilow1 7 months ago 2
10. "Who in the world do you think will be willing to follow you to Alaska so you can teach at Juno Community College?"- See my first point. And almost all of the professors I've taken classes with have families. Again, you meet new people wherever you go.
11. "Women are usually offered the lower paying position"- Unfortunately, this is not exclusive to academia. This is a larger societal problem.
12. "Being a college professor means you will work on average 65 hours a week trying to publish...
bkapilow1 7 months ago 3
@bkapilow1 You spelled Juneau wrong.
stinamontgomery 6 months ago
@stinamontgomery Uh oh!
bkapilow1 6 months ago
@bkapilow1 rofl do you want a phd in a useless field?
kvdsmlfkjds 6 months ago
@kvdsmlfkjds I don't know. But this video certainly didn't move me towards any particular side.
bkapilow1 6 months ago
(cont). especially people whom you can talk to about your main interests.
8. "The only thing students will think critically about is how to lie to you about why they didn't complete their papers on time for your class"- Come on, that is obviously not true. Plus similar things like this happen to anyone in an administrative position. Workers are always giving excuses for why they didn't do what was expected of them.
9. "Harold Bloom is a misogynistic narcissist"- So don't study with him.
bkapilow1 7 months ago 3
(cont). additional money doesn't really make you much happier. And you are not going to actually be starving if you are an adjunct faculty member. So I think it's worth it.
6. "I share my office with four other professors"- So? What do you intend to do in the office that needs privacy? Masturbate?
7. "You will teach 50 kids a semester and read thousands of pages a week"- That sounds fun, especially if you like public speaking, which I imagine most TAs do. And meeting new people is always fun..
bkapilow1 7 months ago 5
(cont). like being a professional singer or writer. That is WAY lower than 50%.
5. "You will probably end up as an adjunct, and will make less money than most of the janitors and secretaries in the school."- So? At least you are doing something that you love, which the janitors and secretaries might not be doing. I know so many rich lawyers and bankers who are miserable. Barry Schwartz, a nationally recognized psychology, did tons of studies on this and found that unless you are destitute...
bkapilow1 7 months ago 6
(cont). Emerson?"- Well, if your main interest is in Emerson, what would you prefer to be doing in the library? It is only "wasting away" if it doesn't excite you. But if you are extremely interested in Emerson, then spending all of your time in a library trying to figure out more about him sounds perfect, no?
4. "Less than half of PHDs get a tenure track position"- All things considered, that is not THAT low. And there are lots of competitive jobs. Try doing anything else in the humanities...
bkapilow1 7 months ago 4
(cont). discipline that particularly interests them. What's wrong with specializing? Also, you don't only teach what you specialize in. My composition teacher teaches tons of classes about traditional classical music, and the creative writing teacher didn't even get a degree in creative writing. Plus every school has "intro" classes which deal with broader issues.
3. "What will you do after you spend 7 to 9 years of your life wasting away in a library trying to say something original about...
bkapilow1 7 months ago 2
(cont). have to be open to teaching in the middle of nowhere if that's all that's available, but I don't think that's more likely to happen than teaching near a city, because most cities have colleges associated with them. Also, what is so bad about living in the middle of nowhere? All research shows that the idea of "community" and "home" is extremely malleable.
2. "You can't specialize in broad themes"- So what? Why is that remotely a bad thing? Surely most people have ONE thing about a..
bkapilow1 7 months ago 2
I don't know, but I still want to be a college professor just as much after watching this video, because I don't think any of these arguments were that strong. Going through the points made...
1. "Do you want to move to the middle of nowhere to teach?"- I think you have just as much of a likelihood of teaching in the middle of nowhere as you do anywhere else. I mean, Boston has the most colleges of any town or city in the country, and that isn't in the middle of nowhere. It's true that you...
bkapilow1 7 months ago
replace english with philosophy, and that's exactly what i'm trying to do... i don't know whether to feel good or bad about that
amn3h23h2 7 months ago
this video makes me really happy that i'm a civil engineering major.
galigosmite 7 months ago
I think I've just been punched in the soul...
TheAidanbradley 7 months ago
so after watching like 15 of these vids (different subjects), what do the makers propose people do with their lives aside from, "not follow your dream"? because honestly I'd rather pursue my dream and fail than never try at all. I think it funny that when someone follows their dream and the passion and it works it is inspiring and awesome, but when someone tries to follow their dream people just try to shoot them down.
not that the vids aren't funny, because there is some truth to it but still
orangeapples 7 months ago 2
@orangeapples I agree with you that these videos can be cruel when it comes to trying to pursue your dream degree and job, but to people who just want these degrees and jobs because they think they are easy to obtain or pay well/have good benefits, then this is a little accurate. I say, even if your dream job is hard to get, if you want it badly enough, then go for it :) I'd rather have my dream job in poverty than have a well paying job that I hate.
IwillKillYourCereal 7 months ago
That girl was me 1 year ago. I just finished my Masters in Medieval Studies, and I could not be happier to be getting out of the grad school experience. What a waste of my time. I finally realize that the academic life is the total opposite of the fantasy I had built up in my head. Unfortunately I had to spend $10000 to figure this out. Not to mention that academics are complete SNOBS!!!!
loverofhighlanders20 7 months ago 11
@loverofhighlanders20
At least it was just $10k. It could have been much, much more.
jdwrink 7 months ago
@loverofhighlanders20 OMG I work with these academics and they are total SNOBS...they ignore you unless you literally fall in their walking path, they ignore your emails, they stare at you when you have questions as if they literally born with the knowledge that they have, it's their way or the highway, and then they give you these smug smiles...NOT A COOL BUNCH ;p
mskittykat1101 3 months ago
I would follow you to Alaska!
JosvanEgmond 7 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Check out my "Blind Date Goes Wrong" Video in my channel :D !
15yoyo 8 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Obscurantist/plagiarist/historical revisionist Christopher (bearer of Christ) Hitchens supports the eugenic policies of the modern-day Western World.
TheVicAndHelenShow 8 months ago
Let us do nothing of noteworthiness to undermine the power of honesty that attorneys, who are lawyers, possess! Their presence stands in equal importance & measure as does the name Suki to Korean exotica, as do glands that one barely gives a stinking shit about—glands nonetheless that cause instantaneous crap-outs to the unaware upon failure, upon the failure between light & dark, lightness & darkness, to cram—to engorge, excoriate & stumble upon shambling wrecks crapped out in Arabian deserts.
TheVicAndHelenShow 8 months ago
I wish I went to college in the 50's or 60's. Then it would be cheap to go and easy to find a job doing what you want (unless you're a woman).
IwillKillYourCereal 8 months ago
bwahahahahahahaha GO TEA PARTY!!!!111ONE11
onemoreturn 8 months ago
Is this seriously what a PhD in humanities is like? I'm nearly done my PhD in computer science and my experience has been nothing like this: TAing was easy money with minimal work, and I received a full tuition scholarship, so while money is tight, I don't require loans or anything like that. (This is in Canada, so of course, it may be quite different here, too.)
vorpal22 8 months ago
Colleges need drastic reforms! Let's start a movement to change things. Type Reform Higher Education Now in the search box on Facebook or click CollegeReform below.
cwieand 8 months ago
honestly. this iss wayy to discouraging. -_-.
jushere14 8 months ago
SUNY Albany just deep sixed their theater programs too.
ZackisDead 9 months ago
That was actually disturbing, thank god the uk higher education system is so much better than that of the us!
amazzasohowny 9 months ago
@amazzasohowny The English higher education system has turned to farse, who in gods name thinks £36,000 is the value of a degree? Apart from the Chancellors of course?
If you live Scotland then things are better... for now.
calicheSCOT 9 months ago
@calicheSCOT most people in the uk do wrothless degrees and dont deserve to be there in the first place.
davetonia1233 8 months ago
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@davetonia1233 I'm guessing you do not have a degree.
calicheSCOT 8 months ago
Outstanding
johnniebgoode 9 months ago
wow !! way to funny
zeerebel 9 months ago
Painfully brilliant, & to the Very Serious People who must find deeper meaning here, 4 simple, poignant words: " Do What You Love."
rtylee 9 months ago 3
LOL this is good
dnrongo 9 months ago
Lol is this an animation or a fucking lecture!? xD
Sonicchannel100 9 months ago
after receiving your philosophy degree, you can ARGUE with YOURSELF about how you SHOULD have MAJORED in SOMETHING ELSE!
the1nonlycrazi 9 months ago 15
MY WHOLE BRAIN IS CRYING.
Knerdzilla 9 months ago 3
I invite you to join a movement to expose the problems with colleges. Type Reform Higher Education Now in the search box on Facebook
cwieand 9 months ago
Baisicly Celebrities still rule and make more in 2 days then your ass will make in a lifetime. Welcome to America.
EngleSackJus 9 months ago
I went to grad school, got my Ph.D. and became a professional historian (non-academic) because I couldn't imagine doing anything else. I still can't.
I also can't image having health benefits, a savings account, investments or an IRA, or ever retiring. Or traveling, replacing my 20-year-old appliances, hiring people to fix things, eating out or seeing movies in theaters, having a life....
Bemused46 9 months ago 19
@Bemused46 lol
yurismir1 9 months ago
LMAOOO ''Please get the frak out of my office''
all4meandyou 9 months ago
The moral of the story is ... give up?
fatchino 9 months ago
This is the usual modern stereotype about the humanities. Ok, so I didn't get a masters in English lit; it was Professional Communication (in the English department). I taught as a grad assistant, then as an adjunct. I worked my butt off and was promoted to Instructor, and then got a job in another college as Assistant Professor (yes, with a Masters). I don't make a huge amount of money, but I do exactly what I want to do.
Now, I'm considering a Phd.
Boo hoo. Life is what you make of it.
katfbedsole 9 months ago 2
@katfbedsole My mom sent me this as what, some kind of sick pessimistic joke? Seriously, just because her life sucked doesn't mean mine has to. Life IS what you make of it, and I intend to enjoy mine.
artschoolgrrl 9 months ago
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@katfbedsole If it works for you, then more power to you! Better get started on that Ph.D. though, the tenure clock is running....
Bemused46 9 months ago
@katfbedsole I concur..
CaleiaA 9 months ago
LMFAO Hilarious.
I did get an A- on my Emerson Self-Reliance essay though O_0
MrSockoOck 9 months ago
Good thing I'm not majoring in any shit degree like Psychology / Business / Humanities etc.
FerrariSorry 9 months ago
Hilarious!
StrawberryJedi 9 months ago
Wow! I couldn't imagine life is so hard for college professors in USA. In Croatia (my home country) , an average college professor earns an above-average wage (which can be increased trough projects), and his teaching assistants do most of his work (test grading, lectures...). His only obligation is to hold a lecture once or twice a week. And it's all the same for all the sciences. Oh, and they need to have a few "science projects" done every few years, but that's basically nothing.
Zumramania 9 months ago
how incredibly depressing
blaakmage 10 months ago
This is the first time you have ever talked to me... Ever! You have not said a word in my class! LOL
medzshakes 10 months ago 6
do you want to stay single the rest of your life? who in the world do you think will be willing to follow you to Alaska, so you can teach at juno community college. LOLSSSS
everlastingeuphoria 10 months ago
oh my god. who let you into this school. i am tempted to throw you out of my office (that I share with 4 other professors) HAHAHAHAA
everlastingeuphoria 10 months ago 3
No.
gvsfgdf 10 months ago
Wow brilliant
JammastaJ23 10 months ago
Amen.
Slashtap3 10 months ago
Welcome to the neoliberal age! Yes we need money, but telling us that having a PdD in English is a waste of time! Instead they should question who is behind marginalizing them. Those greedy vicious cold creatures, that in the name of their god MONEY, have been destroying our world by their wars, financial corruption. It is about the fight between those who are struggling to keep human beings human, and those who want to make them machines that serve there greed. Viva PhD professors!
u2bvideo 10 months ago 26
@u2bvideo So what you're saying is that they are radical Marxists.
kindalyosha 10 months ago
Welcome to the neoliberal age! Yes we need money, but telling us that having a PdD in English is a waste of time! Instead they should question who is behind marginalizing them. Those greedy vicious cold creatures, that in the name of their god MONEY, have been destroying our world by their wars, financial corruption. It is about the fight between those who are struggling to keep human beings human, and those who want to make them machines that serve there greed. Viva PhD professors!
u2bvideo 10 months ago
This is pretty accurate. One girl from university went back to try and be a lecturer, despite never getting more than a B (2.1) in her essays, and being explicitly told by the lecturer she had for two years that she was nowhere near good enough.
otherjr 10 months ago
The only Ph.D.'s that are somewhat useful are those in Science related fields, and even at that, only those from Top-20 institutions will get decent jobs.
For Business, stick with an M.B.A. from a Top-10 B-School and tell Ph.D. recruiters to fuck off.
For Law stick with the J.D. or J.D./M.B.A.(IF you got funding), and try to go to a Top-30 LS and be a gunner in order to get a job.
WarrenAch 10 months ago
Oh, crap. This one hurts.... ROFL
L00kng 10 months ago
As a recovering academic, also with a useless Ph.D. from a top-5 program, I can say with certainty that this clip summarizes PRECISELY the "being a college professor" experience. If you doubt it, then go to grad school and see for yourself, only to realize too late these four words: IT. IS. FUCKIN. TRUE.
dnaversa 10 months ago 13
Take my advice Kill yourself now!
ajinkya120 10 months ago
It's amazing how influential BSG has become. Can't go anywhere on the Internet without running into the word Frak.
ensignr 10 months ago 4
This summarises personal and existential crises in my life perfectly. So many people want just what the undergrad girl wants in life, but if we all try and climb onto the same boat, would it not capsize? Do we pursue potential fulfilment in academics at great life expense all in the hope of finding what we're looking for in a field with ever shrinking demand or do we try and make it big via slogging way and destoying our souls in shitty office jobs?
Times like this I may just live in a cave.
Standuble 10 months ago 2
This is truly funny, however much of a caricature that it is. The odds are against you, and videos like this help to scare off much of the competition, as did the warnings given to graduate students and potential graduate students telling them that there are no jobs in English, etc. I found not one but two and the current one is a dream job. I'm happy that many were disabused of their dreams. It has helped clear the underbrush.
TheWalden9 10 months ago 2
Cynical, anyone?
ehiggin 10 months ago
This is so disturbing, I recognized that speech so well and sadly felt identified, like we say in Spanish "me quedó el saco" (the jacket just fitted me).
Adephonsus 10 months ago
that was way too long. also, it caused me to have a personal crisis.
albanicky 11 months ago 109
The student didn't hear a word the professor said. It was only a coincidence that some of her replies made sense.
pisoprano 11 months ago
@pisoprano LOL! That's what youthful optimism does!
MobKnowledge 7 months ago
This is so sad, but true nevertheless.
xXubermimXx 11 months ago
*sigh* what will become of higher education...
PsYcHo4MuSiC 11 months ago 3