Added: 3 years ago
From: SpoonyOne
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  • These sound more like nitpicks rather than game-breaking flaws.

  • @thephilchannel 1,000+ nitpicks equals one proper clusterf*ck.

    That and crippled controls ARE a game-breaking flaw. Perfect example here where they obviously didn't even try to adapt the gameplay to a PC, but just rushed a basic code transition of the console version and rushed it out to turn a quick buck. Horrible and shameful work. I'm glad this piece of crap got the panning it deserved when it came out.

  • @IggyHazard

    Because Uwe Boll directed it.

  • Why do they have to have two games and one movie with the same title? Why can't they add a subtitle? And why didn't they base the movie on the ORIGINAL 'Alone in the Dark'?! The one starring the REAL Edward Carnby! Took place in the 1920s. Had the whole Lovecraft vibe going on. Great material for a movie, but nooo. They had to be "hip." Oh wait, that was an Uwe Boll movie. Uwe Boll hates America and his game-based movies are his way of ridiculing video games and gamer culture.

  • Spoony babe, some of us need and love those achievements

  • I can't drive through bushes? Are you FUCKING joking?!!

  • i like uzimaki :]

  • Lmao!!!!

  • i like uzumaki D:...i even read the book!

  • i have it for ps3, i like it, it can be a pain in the ass, but its decent, the trophies are easy to get too

  • I <3 Uzumaki!!!

  • This has got to be my favorite review Spoony has done! Fuckin' hilarious lol. "I can't drive through bushes, are you fucking joking?!" Lmao.

  • "The driving is, again, crippled."

  • His hairline, man.

  • Your cool:)

  • spoony if you don't answer this you're a faggot.

  • @Colonel10110 No, sir.

    YOU are the fag.

  • SPOONY IS FREAKING AWESOMEEEEE

  • i liked uzumaki!

  • i forgot a bout this game hahaha

  • I liked Uzumaki.

  • "I don't know how that that'll work. The gun will blow up in your face!" xD

  • Mega Man fans around the world! Join us at facebook "100,000 Strong for Bringing Back Mega Man Legends 3" Save the Blue Bomber! Dont let Capcom take away our precious dreams and hopes! Mega Man is counting on you!

  • That's one great editing studio you've got there...

  • PUSH THE GREEN BUTTON !

    "I'M on a fucking keyboard..." lol

  • there was a good game in there, but it was buried beneath a sea of crippling bugs. i loved escaping the tower, finding some crap in central park and hastily making a weapon to fight off a mob- but then i got into a car, hit a newspaper and flew into orbit and died on nothing...

    Kind of made me want a disaster game though.

  • Anybody else wondering what that netflix movie in the background is

  • You are very good at description. I don't need gameplay, you paint vivid images in my mind.

  • The only Alone in the Dark related item I hate is the movie by Uwe Boll.

  • Wow. The Spoony One is so incredible that he can make a enjoyable review of a game without showing any gameplay. BRILLIANT!

  • I like uzamaki

  • Even tho its an old review, I still gotta say i disagree with you Spoony. Alone in the Dark on the 360 was kinda bad. Ps3 game was actualy pretty good with the fixes

  • warning! spoony makes really good long videos

  • After seeing how bad the new Alone in the Dark was I had an urge to play the old games.Although the 2nd and 3rd are not as great as the 1st it is still memorable. All of then were Cheesy but good none the less. After playing this one however I dont think they will be able to recover & I often wonder if its better left buried & forgotten. It was games like these that inspired me to make them & now I am not so sure with the direction they are going. :( Guess there is always Amnesia.

  • I like most of the game, they just need a few tweaks. EXPECT FOR THE ROOTS! the devil roots are soooo monotinous. and the one time I wanted to use the skip feature, they chose the devil roots as the spot where you're not allowed

  • Is that a Futurama season 2 box in the background?

  • Lol, you mean Armake21 was actually considered a worthwhile critic, I just thought he was some internet whiner he became popular by basically using the same technique as the AVGN. By that I mean, spending the whole review cursing and screaming into the camera to the point where fans would praise him because he made them laugh. Didn't matter what he thought about the game, as long as he made them laugh, they would say he was an effective reviewer. Same BS as AngryJoe.

  • Alone in the Dark is a guilty pleasure of mine. The technical aspects are great, and there are some gameplay elements that feel fresh. I mainly just like the atmosphere.

    However, the controls (for the PC) and the dialogue is unintentionally hilarious. I mean, it is SO BAD that you actually can't help but laugh at it. Page down is default to jump off a rope? "I am the fuckin' UNIVERSE"? WTF?

  • tape the glowing stick and throw it into the black ooze, so it sticks and don't roll away. Easy to pass these sections. You can fill empty bottles with the tank of the cars when you knife/screwdriver them. Useless, because you find new alcohol anywhere

  • IGN hated this one. And on wikipedia, there's a fu*king connection to the "film"!! P*ss of Uwe Boll. I'll verse you in a boxing match one day, and I'll beat you and taunt you by saying "that's for your work you Nazi *sshole".

  • SPOONY KNOWS UZUMAKI ! SO I'M NOT A LOSER !... or...

  • uzamaki? whats that film about?

  • @HarryBoI7777 A town obsessed by spirals... it's better than it sounds. The manga is much better than the movie. Look it up: Uzumaki by Junji Ito

  • I had the 360 version and i gotta say i kind of enjoyd the game in some parts i mean, like you said i looks good and good soundtrack. It has some good parts in the story too, but the main problem was not the control for me it was how to get from point A to point B because the map did not give any tips and i thought it was difficult to like abandon my car when i could not get any further with it and then fight multiple enemies and not having enough ammo and molotovs and such. Plus the controls a

  • wow you know about uzumaki. i liked it. i didnt care for the ending. but the mixing of j-horror and lovecraft made me smile

  • Wow this feels like a long review.

  • trust me the PS2 version is worse =D

  • Lmao, best ending for a video ever. xDD

  • " your gun would blow up in your face! " HAHA

  • well is it worse than the RE4 keyboard control

  • Why can't they make an Alone in the Dark game that resembles ye olde Alone in the Dark? Is the "real" Edward Carnby really that uncool? The old games had more personality. They did the same thing to Bionic Commando and Splatterhouse. The new Rick from Splatterhouse is believable (everybody loves the romantic dork type character), so he's off the hook. But what they did to RAD Spencer is unforgivable. He transformed from Dwayne Hicks to Christie from Alien: Resurrection for no apparent reason.

  • got jericho nowin it was crap but i still loved playin it kinda weird how i love lots of stuff even thogh i no is sucks

  • hey man, you look like Brendan Fraser ;P

  • @sweden360 and sounds like lazlo from gta

  • If anyones to get a good survivor horror for the wii it has to be Silent Hill Shattered memories or Residents Evil 4 (even though I no longer consider RE a Survivor horror series anymore). I love the wii, but given that the controls of this game is terrible I can imagine how bad playing the wii version of this game is. Heck I can imagine how bad a PS3 version would be too (trust me I play GTA4 and I hate driving controls in that game).

  • @Pooky1991 dead space extraction

  • @Pooky1991 i don't think this is on the wii

  • @Pooky1991

    wat about cursed mountain? Its at least decent.

  • @jst4hr Never played it, but might need to check it out.

  • @Pooky1991 RE was never really a survival horror game. They were more of a third person shooter series with exploration elements.

  • @Pooky1991

    GTA IV's driving was the only thing they got right in that game. Those who complain about the driving usually suck at it.

  • @hismindovermatter true but it just takes getting used to for people who are used to more realistic driving sims

  • @R3V0LUTIONxClanVids

    I thought it would be people who are more used to playing arcade racers.

  • @Pooky1991 Ju-on the grudge was pretty good.

  • HELL YEAH!! Spoonays done a review of this:D

  • Clive Berker Jericho was awesome, love that shit.

  • Wait wasent alon in the dark that 3do game?

  • Achievements are like drugs once your in that hole theres no way back...

  • @CrysisFear There was for me...

  • @CrysisFear YOU THINK ACHIEVEMENTS ARE ADDICTING!!!? did you know on ps3 theres 51 trophys (achievements hipster brother) 50 are the same as achievements but 1 is given if you get EVERY trophy.needless to say i got every skin in shrek 3

  • why is the only thing i dont like in spoony's look is his hairstyle

  • 6:30 lol I spent hours on that part

    Everytime I play this game I feel dead inside

  • "I cant drive through bushes, ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING?!" rofl

  • This guy is awesome!

    I watch him everyday in theguywiththeglassesDOTcom.

    I like that english guy from Bad Movie Beatdown.

    You all should be on TV.

    Greetings from Brazil.

  • I liked the driving scene the most and this was a really good game. Also, try it on xbox or sumthin cuz its better.

  • The driving scene was my favorite part in the game. And I thought this game was really fun.

  • The driving in the Oblivion Lost mod for STALKER: Shadow of Chernobyl is incomplete in terms of coding (for example, the vehicles don't have enough weight to them unlike the vehicles in Half-Life 2), but at least you can drive through bushes.

  • Aww, you're not alone. I adore Uzumaki. It ends kind of abruptly, but... well, at least that stops it from descending into the nonsensical madness that plagues the later chapters of the manga.

  • Alright, seriously. All these shitheads claiming that AitD sucks need to just stop playing video games, because it's not getting ANY better...honestly, there's no "invisible barriers" or ANYTHING like that. And I've played it. The driving scene is broken? You want to TRY TO DRIVE, instead of just turning, and expecting it to do all the shit for you? It doesn't have to be fucking perfectly to your precise predictions to be good. Biased BS is biased. Peace, sheep..

  • @TrollmanIsTroll I have to agree. I'm also going to side with Armake21 on this matter. I didn't have any of the issues everyone claimed to have. I played through it (on PS3/XBox360) just as fine as Marcus did. IDK, maybe it's playstyle-type thing. Some people can play specific games better than others. I really hate to say it, but... maybe SpoonyOne just sucks at playing "Alone in the Dark".

  • The PS3 version is the best one to get.

  • Comment removed

  • I love Uzumaki. ):

  • The pc version but the wii version is horrible beyond belief (im not being biased i love the wii). Its harder too see and the controls especially driving are awful. Too bad there was alot of potential.

  • it could be worse, you could have been reviewing the movie.

  • @RaptureKing1 he did review the movie, but it is a text only review

  • @RaptureKing1 He did Review the Movie.....

  • I did found the game pretty sweet and, like Uwe Boll's movies it has a lot of potential that wasnt quite accomplished

    now, he's right, it's a pretty dodgy port, especially the controls, quite idiotic they are and if you're gonna play it on pc, you beetter get a 360 pad

  • Niceporn collection in the background. :)

    But hey nice review! good job 5/5.

  • Spooney o Spooney you have came a long way

  • Dude!! Uzumaki is THE SHIT!! How can you say your the only one who like that movie? lol I love the movie and the manga!

  • I cant drive through bushes, are you fucking jokeing XDXD LOL.

    FTW

  • i love this game! the driving sequence is the most epic thing i have ever seen!!!

  • Uzumaki? Doesn't that mean storm?

  • @oosaf It means 'whirlpool'. There's a pretty creepy horror manga named Uzumaki too.

  • @sinclose678 Actually the movie he's referencing in the review is the movie adaptation of said manga. The movie's supposed to be terrible, but the manga is pretty good, though extremely grotesque.

  • @sinclose678 also a bad ninja with said name

  • jet set radio future had won an award for best video game soundtrack. check it out.

  • The Wii version has the worst driving controls ever!! Wait scratch that, this game has the worst controls for a Wii game ever!!!

  • DIS GAME IS UN-FUCKIN-BELIEVABLE

  • It doesn't matter that the items are useless, and the realism is bad. First off, you can make stuff, because it is freedom. Second It's a game.

  • I totally agree. I was really hyped for this game and it was a frustrating nightmare. Disappointing. I totally agree with your other videos too. I've subbed.

  • 9:38 I cant drive through bushes? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDINNG ME? i laughed my ass off!!

  • Ohh I thought you were talking about Alan Wake oops

  • ?

    I played the game on 360 and have no idea what you are talking about?

    You shine a light on the taken and then shoot them? There are no Molotov Cocktails???

    It must be very very very very different for windows because I have played through it and haven't seen one thing he is talking about!

  • @CamoJackv2 HandkerChef+ Alcohol Bottle=Molotov Cocktail and yes it works in the X360

  • O kinda like it but what I didn't like is the monsters are repetitive, the story is not that great and the final... no comments... LOL

    But I think is a good game... better that the previous...

  • The more of this guy I watch the more I swear he's been paid to advertise Coke and Pepsi.

  • Comment removed

  • This guy fuckin nailed it. XD

  • So... driving is like running in Sonic?

  • This guy is awesome :D haha

  • If they had just beta-tested the game more, and not rushed it? It might have been good. But they didn't, so it's not.

    Shame.

  • "the graphics are good"...... I can't vouch for this one. I was a dumbass and rented the wii version XD it was a 2 for 1 game, i also got "escape from bug island" i was in a mood to play horrible horror games that day.

  • I wasted money on this game, This games sucks, Alan Wake is wayyyyyyyyyy better

  • @YATES2423 Yes Alan Wake is much better

  • i kinda liked this game, because i borowed the inferno edition and everything is improved, its very unique but wtf, that was one shit ending

  • FUCK!!! I already fucking ORDERED IT!!!

  • @jeserty6 I FEEL SORRY 4 YOU

  • i thought the game was cool until i played it for 10 seconds

  • @shaynereece lol me 2

  • I can't drive through bushes, R U FUCKING JOKING!!!!!!!! lolz

  • @pitthepwner That made me rofl xD

  • That falling through the ground thing happens a lot to me in Vivec in Morrowind.

  • i cant even drive over a hedge row a fucking hedge row

  • Uzumaki forever. I loved that movie.

  • Its strange Armake 21 loves the game but spoony that is also a great game critic hates it!

  • Comment removed

  • @slitor No! Spoony is immortal deity that cannot be questioned. He is a genius and will cure cancer and death and make the world at peace. He will conquer the universe and all the planes in it.

  • I beat the game a quarter through the day and threw it out the window so a car could run it over

  • rented that game and took it back the next god damn day! the next day!

  • and i was playing the 360 version

  • LOL THE NEXT DAY how hard did the game store guy laugh?

  • he said, "you too?"

  • haaa, for some reason i really wanna get this game and i am for my birthday "march 8th" because i love shitty games they make me laugh

  • "Spinn around like a turret", haha. That was a pritty darn good statement.

  • i like the game on ps2

  • 4 :45 is funney

  • YES! The controls are rubbish!!!!!

  • Hey spoonyone I remember that you said that you loved the movie "The Thing" but hated the game. So I have some news that I want you to think about. Good news, they are making the thing 2. Bad news, John Carpenter might not direct it. That is so stupid because they are probably gonna hire some hotshot that will totally fuck the movie up. They will make such a shitty movie they will ruin the originals reputation. Damn you hollywood...DAMN YOU!!! Leave it to the professionals.

  • They should have stuck with the original story that t0ok place in the '20s and '30s. The Lovecraftian vibe fits better in that era. That's one reason Blo0d II: The Chosen wasn't as g0od as the original Blo0d -- the vibe didn't fit. Lovecraftiosity fits better in 1928 than in the 21st century. I mean, you can combine Lovecraft with William Gibson, but it has to be done right to be convincing.

  • you think you have it bad i have alone in the dark on the wii

  • @ryantg1 Me too. I remember it took me forever to find out how to exactly use the controllers to open my inventory.

    IIRC i never played past a section in some public restrooms in Central Park.

  • @ryantg1 LOL! Brilliant, I feel for you dude.

  • @ryantg1 Me too man...me too..

  • @ryantg1 omg that was one of the first games on the wii that I got and it sucked balls )_)

  • its a damn shame the game is so broken. there is fun to be had, if you play around the problems though.

  • hahahahahaha

  • Fuck this game. BTW, games like these show the reason why I'm a retro gamer. *boots up Alone in the Dark 2*

  • then you guys suck at gaming then

  • You should check out "The eye". Its a pretty cool asian horror movie

  • the worst fuckin game i ever playing in my life!

  • @Spencerspoofs

    Agreed, I play games to have fun. But this was just... pain boring. You just wanna blow you're head off... Walls eating people?! Really?

  • pc version was awful they vouldnt compress properly it took 8gb hard drive but its got some shit graphics

  • Alone in The Dark 5 is by far the worst video game sequal EVER. Even worse than Dino Crisis 3.

  • yeah also the WORST DRIVING

  • i played the ps3 version, and i for one enjoyed the game, however the ps3 version might be better but it still has loose as fuck driving, ( wich is actually what Eden Games is known for ironically ). i once flipped in the air, spirald 360 degrees 7 times, and then blew up. i almost returned the game the second that happend!

  • Silent Hill games OWN this game.

    And that's saying something cause SH has some bad controls,but they're nowhere near as bad as this.

  • That is true. But the controls on ps3 are pretty good.

  • @BananaSandwich3000 what's your problem? wtf?

  • @BananaSandwich3000 ok....I'm not exactly a "fanboy" but whatever....

  • Is Alone in the Dark Inferno for PS3 and Xbox 360 a reboot of this game in order to make it better? Or did the PC game just suck?

  • The ps3 version is WAY.....WAY better than the xbox 360 version.

  • @awesomeon Oh. So would it be worth to play?

  • I'm just saying it's better. Not a ton of glitches and you can see where you're going more often. I'm not calling it the greatest game ever but it's at least better than the gltch-fest 360 version. So in a way, yeah i guess it would be worth playing. They also added a subway scene but i haven't got that far yet. It's like $15 at gamestop.

  • @awesomeon Oh ok.

  • @awesomeon Lol I don't care what version is better, even it was 100 times better it's still shit XD

  • @awesomeon You bought both?

  • Spoony, your so awsome.

  • I liked Uzumaki a lot.

  • wish i saw this before I bought it online, $2.00 seems steep for such a turd

  • true, true, true, but can you imagine paying $7.00 for THE THING like i did? i ripped that fucking disc in half! lol

  • o yea? i paid full price when it originally came out, how do u think i feel?

  • :( worse im sorry

  • its fine my asylum room is quite comfy