Tuna Talk: To Come Out or Not to Come out

[Sketchez09]

Gah! I have no idea how to come out as a lesbian. I look like one of those stereotypical lesbians like lip piercing and flannel and all that jazz but I love it. A few people know that I'm gay but my parents seem to be oblivious to the hints I'm dropping. I'm scared to tell my mom the most because she will be so upset, there will be lots of crying, so that makes me not want to do it face to face, I wouldn't know what to do in that situation. I'd love to just be openly gay, I think I'd be so happ

[ChildishxCharm]

Arent some of these self explanatory?

[thatgirlfromaptd8]

Get out of the closet....there a bowl of candy right outside the door

[jjmkismymiddlename]

It really shouldn't add any stress telling your family your gay...then again like 80% of my family is gay so I shouldnt talk but still. Their your family.

[wwandv]

lol marinate! lol Kissing Jessica Stein line. :)

[XxXdeadknightXxX]

people start getting out of those closets

[KnightQuickness72]

Im 15 and i not gonna come out i think. I mean i came out to some people and the guy in my class that i like knows im gay by the way i act but no one else needs to know but my Mam and Dad already know...they say weird stuff. Like me dad said to me something about "When you get older and move in with your girlfri....i mean whoever you move in with you will be okay" Or something and i straighten my hair and use motiuirizers n stuff so yeah... lol

[rockarolla714]

when i came out at school, everybody was shocked, but they were cool about it. I thought everybody would hate me(gay paranoia)but they didn't,so that wuz pretty fuckin sweeeeeeet.

[jerinjess]

I came out on the phone but everyone all new they joked and said are u pregnant and i was like way off and then they said i know ur gay i was messing with you i was like woahh right on was a bigger deal for me then my ma i love it

[maria8098]

Holidays....my mom found out i was gay two days after christmas...didn't go well.

[lizzie808]

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA "I'm a lesbian can you pass the green beans by the way I'm dating our neighbor.."

ROFLMAO

[want2bacowgirl]

The only thing I would say to people that haven't come out is that, life will only get better the sooner u come out!!

[JulieML67]

We seem to have a family member come out around every other year at Christmas. I was one of them- Christmas Eve dinner. It sortof just came up in conversation. It turned out pretty well, maybe because no one was really surprised.

[liraelshope4]

I came out on Easter and right after a funeral. I was loling when you said NOT to do it on a holiday or around a funeral. My mother is very conservative, which means that it didn't go great, but it actually didn't go horribly. :] She's not supportive yet, but she is accepting at this point.

[galCapricorn]

i just subscribe

[jangle116]

"im like your fairy god..fath..moth...father" lmao.

my mom was completly fine when told her i was gay, i feel so bad for all the people who come out to their parents and end up getin kick out or disownd by their family. my heart goes out to all of you

[theYaoichannel]

Thanks.

[hazybluesky]

ah! your brother is gay as well? I have a friend going through that same situation. It's especially fun because their parents are SUPER religious. i hope it went better for you than it did for them : )

[little0miss0suzie]

i came out to my dad over email, he was just like cool, what ever floats your boat really. and i told my mum face to face, she was pretty much ye its ok, your still the same person. so they have been pretty cool.

[GothicPlayMate]

My gf doesn't want me to tell my mother, what should I do?

[LillaSketnaSak]

I came out to my parents this summer, with text messages 8D Even though they were in a town just 80 miles away >_> We live in sweden and my relatives have parents in Alaska, does that count?

But well, my phone battery died and I later called my mom from a friends phone. Her reaction was something like "Do you think that we know nothing about you!? Get home already!" I think they're kind of weird sometimes... first time I sneaked out from home I came home to waffles the next day o_o

[turistattraksjon]

Haha, that's awesome! I didn't have a hard time either, I was like 14 years old when I came out and they were completely fine with it:P

[SecludedSpaces]

I'm 18 qand still havn't come out haha

[SecludedSpaces]

well till my family that is =/ lol

[SecludedSpaces]

*to, fuck my spelling sucks right now.

[polandcentral]

hahaha dont come out over the phone unless you live in alaska and your family lives in sweden

[AskAJanything]

that's the only way you can come out over the phone. if you fit that criteria :)

[Maria259]

this was hilarious

[boardinggirl31]

I just came out and its during the holiday season and by far the worst thing i could have done, i really didnt have a choice though. . . .if anyone is thinking about coming out now, please wait until the holidays are over

[Shmoo06]

I had no choice than to come out during the Holidays. It wasn't during a meal though! haha. and once again. No choice than to come out when a family member is ill/crisis. That's why it took me so long to come out to my family. I basically waited until my mom asked me, and I couldn't lie anymore.

If there is anyone who reads this or you know of someone who is struggling with coming out while a close family member is ill. I'm always willing to listen. Send me a message.

[andreashamrock]

I was this close to doin' it yesterday on a fight with my mom about her kicking me out of the house just cuz i got my labret pierced... Yeah I woulda won the fight but I'd probably be homeless too so good thing I didn't I guess...

[rawwritsalyssa]

So I never had to come out.

My mom basically told me i was gay.

I'd had a "secret" girlfriend for about a year, and one day we were sitting on the couch and i guess we were too close.. ?!

Well after she left my mom came up to me and told me i was gay.

I tried to protest that i still liked boys but her defense was

"well I can tell you like girls!"

lol

[jjbeejjuice]

Fairy gaymother!! yeah, my mom came out to me!! " I know you're gay I'm not stupid" LOL love my mommy

[Sl0pJaw]

i would NOT come out by introducing your girlfriend or boyfriend to your parents

[chesleykirk]

thanks for this video, I have came out to just one person and have been thinking about telling my parents. i'm only home for the holidays until summer so i was glad to see this video so now i know to probably just wait until summer to come out to my family. thanks AJ!

xoxo

ches.

[AskAJanything]

ya, nobody wants to deal with that during the hoidays.... "wow mom thanks for the socks - by the way i'm a big homo!" --- no good.

[heartofhate780]

mine was simple, i walked up to my mum asked her for a gay pride belt (which i still gaven't f**kin got!!!) and she asked if i wanted to go to the pink picnick (bit like a gay pride thing mabob) and i said yes, so for me it was simple, prob's coz my oldest sister is bi.

[peetmick]

I came out the day after Thanksgiving. Just got to feel it out and do it when its best for you, i wouldn't write the holidays off. Worked for me :/

[originalitybites]

I never came out to my mom... she asked me if I was dating my "best friend", and I said yes, and that was about it.

[AlexMerenkov2]

honestly i told my mom through email, and she was like alex, i got your email. and we just started talking about it like it was no big deal, she respectful of gay people and i know she still loves me even if i am BI. she also kinda didn't believe it shes like "well alex you might change how you feel in the next few years" little does she know ive felt like this since 7th grade.(im now in 11th grade.)

[DeejayRin]

Damn....

I wish I knew that last year.

I came out Christmastime last year.

Even though, I'm BACK in the closet! *palmface*

[PonRiot]

kittiemix same happened tome, my mum found out about a girlfriend i had when i was 13, she scitz and said i was tooyoung to be gay. 5 years on and i came out in feb...

She wasn't great for the first few weeks but now she'scome round and buy's me diva mags and went topride with me :)

x

[BOOLSHIT2]

what!not at a funeral?damn...and i was looking forward to the next one ...what am i gonna do noooooooooow??sob-sob

[curlyred09]

I don't live where they are either. Well I live in bradenton and the closest thing is miami and I am youth and so I don't drive :( and my mom is coming around to it but still doesn't believe it. :( ell well

[kleokriesel]

oh man . . . I'm gonna make a coming out video in a day or two since I just had a HORRIBLE experience

[dizzeepixie]

I told my Dad when we made a pit stop to fill up on gas, it seemed like he wasn't going to react. Then he goes to the teller 'just give me enough to get to that wall.' 4 years later he joined mom and i at pride

[InfoYouNeed]

LOL did he actually say that? hahahaha I was laughing for 2 minutes last night...

:)

[kittiemix]

At the age of 18 I let my mom out me when she was ready. First time trying to come out at the age of 14. I got yelled at, threatened and somehow i ended back into the closet at the end of it all.

[ArleeDance]

Also, never come out in a moving car... when mom is driving

[trikstah]

super cute as always aj. good advice for those who need it. as for me, i'm out :)

[sweetxrapturedxlight]

I'm out but I'm not. I don't tell anyone, they just figure it out. It's hard for my parents to figure out because they know I like girls, and I date girls, but being bisexual I'm always talking about gay rights and how attractive guys are too. I guess they'll know for sure if I ever bring a guy home for the holidays :D

Here's my advice, it might not be super good but... don't make coming out into one big thing. Just leave little hints and let people pick up on them, and that'll make it easier!

[doug4eva]

AJ you are brilliant! :D

I think I was probably one of those that emailed you....Lol!

Butt. I had a big talk with my PE teacher (I know...) and yeah she was like when coming out to friends, don't make it into a big deal, just like slip it into conversation or something. Because if you make it into a big deal, you'll get stressed and so will your friends. BECAUSE being gay isn't that big a deal. I've realised. Obviously when coming out to parents it's slightly different...

[AskAJanything]

PE TEACHER? classic!

[doug4eva]

Yeah...She's supposedly gay. Quite butch. =] Love her to bits though! Haha!

By the way she was advising me...I think she probably is gay. But who cares!? Better advice that way!

[proud2badork]

i TOTALLY came out Thanksgiving weekend my freshman year of college... wish i would've watched this video before then...

[AskAJanything]

woulda, shoulda, coulda

;)

[haileyboh]

That is really great advice. I'm one of those lesbians that came out to my mother in the heat of a HUGE arguement. Of course, you were right, I did win the fight but it probably wasn't the best idea lol. That then led to the rest of my family hearing it from my crazed mother, which wasn't what I wanted right after I came out to her. She still kinda has issues with it, even though it was about 10 years ago. So, yeah, agreed that during an arguement isn't the best time.

[TsarObezyanka]

Oh you didn't say Hey Laddddiiiiessssssssss :(

[AskAJanything]

yes I did...replay it :)

[TsarObezyanka]

Oops how could I have missed that lol.

[RefiloeM]

she did

[coattail2]

Just for fun: Worst time to come out if anyone is thinking long term -December 20th, 2012? If only for entertainment of the superstitious lot in your family.

[tunafluff]

Ha, I came out to my mom over the phone about 2 weeks before christmas. I fall into the 'yea we knew' category tho.

Its all about being ready, and I felt ready and like I couldn't wait anymore so I went for it.

[lieaddkus]

I came out around the holidays. Well i told my mom about a month before but the rest of my family-(aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents..) i told at a christmas gathering. No one cared, i mean yea, they were shocked but didn't care and they didn't need any um 'grieving' time, but i knew they wouldn't care, so i wasn't worried.

[pinkcorsetfemme]

Good advice sexy AJ!!

[tatasjeep]

My mom read my diary. I take it as a good thing!! LMAO!!

[RinevaS]

I wanted to reinforce the suggestion to NOT come out in the midst of a family crisis or holidays. Big mistake, especially if you don't have high expectations of your family's reaction. It adds stress by tenfold on you and them, and can make for a pretty strained and unenjoyable holiday season.

[ejcarr8710]

I consider myself lucky in this respect - my mom actually did go right out and join PFLAG and she joined me at the Prop8 protest last Saturday...

[scandalousjen]

Aw, that actually made me tear up and a little sniff. Your mom is cool. :)

[arampagingcloto]

coming out for me was easy! My parents saw my myspace background of two guys kissing. It was awesome! My mom didn't care, but my dad did so I told him that if he couldn't handle it then to never talk to me again. We haven't talked since, and I don't regret it.

[HooJayJay]

Well, I can tell you I am scared to death to come out, just from the crap my mom says. I know she'll love me no matter what but still....but anyways, I personally am not coming out until I have someone in my life you know, so my mom will see that I am happy. Hell I don't know how she hasn't suspected anything.....god I practically drool when a hottie walks by LMAO! :P~

Brandi (Formerly TatGrl)

[Esiris1]

My mom outed me over the phone.. he he.. I have never been so speechless ever! I am a poor student so I don't have the money to travel that often. they live in oposites ends of the Norway, my mom in the north my dad in the south east and me right in the middle. I told my dad over the phone, he needed to know after my mom outed me.. And he answered with.. "oh.. I knew that.. I was discussing it with your stepmom the other day. We were wondering when you would tell us.." I was so imbarresed. :S

[sharleene19]

I would say when you and your parents are alone. Don't have high expectations either. When I told my mom I thought she would be cool with it but she wasn't. Even now, years later, she still uses negative terms towards the GBLTQ right in front of me. I told her that I don't like some of the comments but it didn't change anything. Not to scare anybody just don't expect a good outcome. Expect the reaction to be somewhere in between positive and negative.

[Katiesue888]

Good advice. lol., but i dont think ill ever come out...too scary. lmao You are so funny though =)

[LonelyCabin]

Any suggestions about coming out at work, esp for us femms, when people won't guess it right away?

I started a new job about 3 months ago and last weekend went drinking with my coworkers. I mentioned I had a gf. They aren't mad or weird about it, but they accuse me of hiding it from them. But when should I have told them..."thanks for hiring me, fyi I'm a lesbian"?

Thnx bunches

-Cat

[sharleene19]

It depends because you can still get fired or not even hired for it. I would just see the individuals opinion about the GBLTQ community or gay marriage etc. If you're comfortable enough with the person to tell them then go ahead but if you feel forced or don't really want to say then I wouldn't. Only you can decide who you want to tell. I mean do straight guys or girls tell coworkers "hey fyi I'm straight" No so why do you have to?

[H3ADY1313]

LOVE YOUR GUTS AJ...not in a stalker kinda way more in a I live in another state so I know I have no chance but a girl can dream kinda way....

I told my mom in an effed up way...kinda...so damn you for not telling me sooner how to come out LOL

[BSummers2007]

great advice....

'when your mom's drunk..."

'you'll probably automatically win the fight..' lol

[xALPx13]

the first thing my sister said when i told her a few weeks ago, was "yay! now i can go to gay clubs!"

i thought it was hilarious.

but i'm not out to my parents and brother yet.

[danc3hallkrashr]

i wanna come out.but if i do i dont think my mom will let my girlfriend spend the night anymore.....

[H3ADY1313]

ROTFLMAO... OMG I love you for that LOL

[lintloza]

I Love her