Death, to me, mean's, an awesome ....peace, a glow, a light, something, not here, with all of the drama, worries, relationships not resolved, death, means ......freedom, from, all that is worrisome!
There is nothing in this world for i do not need; i give my food, air and the blood that i bleed; as i slice my delicate skin i sink into the dark; the light is so dimm i can't even see a spark; I have no soul, i have no heart; this poetry is acculmulating it sounds rather smart;
Everyone ignores the questions of life; makes me want to die and get split by a scythe; But still i wonder who is in charge of this lethal game? we stand in oblivion who is to blame?
@TheFootballPlaya very inspiring mate, and i see everyone has their own theme that they use and its very amazing, and myself i write poems and wanna see your thoughts.... love is forbidden through the eyes that see, nothing more to them but a forgotten sea, they try to piece the puzzle of life, i have figured mine and im proud to say shes my wife, slowly and slow i tend to forget, your body is in my arms i say with regret, i look above and say bye, because sooon im coming and your turn to cry...
I loved the way you peiced everything together. The artwork is absolutely fantastic and the poem to, but I feel that without the artwork it wouldn't have so much meaning. THe music is very expressive as well :)
A word of advice: try not to write so discordantly. I realise you were probably trying to use fragmented images for poetic efect, however unfortunately it did not quite come off. Also, I found your poem uniquely paradoxical, seeing as the end result was heaven, despite the act of suicide having been committed (sin). It is a benign concept. but a false one :)
So what makes you think the person in the poem has commited suicide? It was intended to be someone dying of un-natural but not self inflicted causes, for example a gunshot wound. Even if it were supposed to be suicide, I don't personally believe that's a sin, I think that's an old fashioned idea, and that a person will be judged by whether they've lead a good life, not how they've snuffed it
Did you not see the crucial point? I was merely pointing out that heaven is a Christian concept, thus suicide would be regarded as sin based on that context.
I will also quote one stanza: "no return now, that chance long passed"...what can be inferred from this is choice; this implies the 'victim' made some sort of decision...you don't have that decision unless you are empowered to do so.
Ummm did you not see the crucial point in my reply? There is no suicide in this poem. The "no return now" line is referrring to the fact that the man is dying and any chance that he may survive his wounds has passed.
You already stated that; what I am trying to communicate is the clear paradox. Even if there was no "suicide", the previously quoted line does imply that the victim had a choice in life (whether or not it was attempted suicide/murder etc). I suggest you rephrase parts of it, in order for it to convey the story more succinctly.
That's what you get from the line, other people will find other meanings, that's the nature of poems. Anyhow I'm not going to recreate the vid just for that minor change, once it's rendered I can't go back and alter it. Good to hear your views though.
This isn't about the poem, but I thought you should know. Heaven is not just a Christian concept. There are many religions that believe in heaven. (e.g. Islam and Judaism)
Wow...breath taking. Thanks for sharing...
midwife2thesoul 9 months ago
beautifull !!!
ilovemore7 11 months ago
Great:)
solliebollie78 1 year ago
Death, to me, mean's, an awesome ....peace, a glow, a light, something, not here, with all of the drama, worries, relationships not resolved, death, means ......freedom, from, all that is worrisome!
TOMAN4EVER 1 year ago
Absolutely beautiful, and this is what I await for, that peace!
TOMAN4EVER 1 year ago
I'm glad you enjoyed it. I often think about death and what may or may not lie beyond it, so decided to put it down in words
SechMolinari 1 year ago
good job man here is mine:
There is nothing in this world for i do not need; i give my food, air and the blood that i bleed; as i slice my delicate skin i sink into the dark; the light is so dimm i can't even see a spark; I have no soul, i have no heart; this poetry is acculmulating it sounds rather smart;
Everyone ignores the questions of life; makes me want to die and get split by a scythe; But still i wonder who is in charge of this lethal game? we stand in oblivion who is to blame?
TheFootballPlaya 1 year ago
Very good! You should make a vid like I did!
SechMolinari 1 year ago
@TheFootballPlaya very inspiring mate, and i see everyone has their own theme that they use and its very amazing, and myself i write poems and wanna see your thoughts.... love is forbidden through the eyes that see, nothing more to them but a forgotten sea, they try to piece the puzzle of life, i have figured mine and im proud to say shes my wife, slowly and slow i tend to forget, your body is in my arms i say with regret, i look above and say bye, because sooon im coming and your turn to cry...
shiftersofwar 1 year ago
very well done!
yotefwd 2 years ago
what is the music called and who is it by?
123blurkayla 2 years ago
It's off the soundtrack to the movie Meet Joe Black and it's entitled That Next Place
SechMolinari 2 years ago
Ummm, seems to narrative, try not to tell too much. use more descriptive elements, avoid first person, doesn't suite poems too well.
PIECE2YOURMOTHA 2 years ago
I loved the way you peiced everything together. The artwork is absolutely fantastic and the poem to, but I feel that without the artwork it wouldn't have so much meaning. THe music is very expressive as well :)
Muddledbrain 3 years ago
I enjoyed it... I commend you...
DimpleAntonio 4 years ago
englis is not made as a poetic language you got to make your own english to make it poetic :P
yehan44bro 4 years ago
I have that same feeling....
clumsycj 4 years ago
Dude did this song Justice!!!
bosspooba 4 years ago
whats the soundtrack called?
YouRockMyWorld05 4 years ago
It's off the soundtrack to Meet Joe Black - That Last Place.
SechMolinari 4 years ago
A word of advice: try not to write so discordantly. I realise you were probably trying to use fragmented images for poetic efect, however unfortunately it did not quite come off. Also, I found your poem uniquely paradoxical, seeing as the end result was heaven, despite the act of suicide having been committed (sin). It is a benign concept. but a false one :)
meaning1 2 years ago
So what makes you think the person in the poem has commited suicide? It was intended to be someone dying of un-natural but not self inflicted causes, for example a gunshot wound. Even if it were supposed to be suicide, I don't personally believe that's a sin, I think that's an old fashioned idea, and that a person will be judged by whether they've lead a good life, not how they've snuffed it
SechMolinari 2 years ago
Did you not see the crucial point? I was merely pointing out that heaven is a Christian concept, thus suicide would be regarded as sin based on that context.
I will also quote one stanza: "no return now, that chance long passed"...what can be inferred from this is choice; this implies the 'victim' made some sort of decision...you don't have that decision unless you are empowered to do so.
meaning1 2 years ago
Ummm did you not see the crucial point in my reply? There is no suicide in this poem. The "no return now" line is referrring to the fact that the man is dying and any chance that he may survive his wounds has passed.
SechMolinari 2 years ago
You already stated that; what I am trying to communicate is the clear paradox. Even if there was no "suicide", the previously quoted line does imply that the victim had a choice in life (whether or not it was attempted suicide/murder etc). I suggest you rephrase parts of it, in order for it to convey the story more succinctly.
meaning1 2 years ago
That's what you get from the line, other people will find other meanings, that's the nature of poems. Anyhow I'm not going to recreate the vid just for that minor change, once it's rendered I can't go back and alter it. Good to hear your views though.
SechMolinari 2 years ago
This isn't about the poem, but I thought you should know. Heaven is not just a Christian concept. There are many religions that believe in heaven. (e.g. Islam and Judaism)
Mrmagiccity27 2 years ago
I like writing poems in the first person, but not entirely describing me, i write it in the perspective of a troublesome individual.
TheFootballPlaya 1 year ago
kool
fanoo9 5 years ago
lol..death poem is koooool?
yehan44bro 4 years ago