Bush Explains How He Choked on a Pretzel-From 2002

[Violatedfilms]

Stupid fuck nearly dies from a pretzel. Good choice for president America.

[Bruciuschapmius]

From then on, pretzels were weapons of mass destruction.

[DimensionsofChange]

This is when things started to go down hill.

[fortyaider]

Cheney socked his ass up for being an idiot. Pretzel story is bs!

[boastfuls]

alcohol

[harz1835]

hes gonna end up cutting his throat with a potato chip

[stephenjackson1]

@bathroommonkey76 Now you have OBAMA! Who you obviously voted for, you lib. SOOOO much better than bush.

[ChrisCa1601]

I wonder if that pretzel was trained by Al-Qaeda.

[anthony2154]

@ChrisCa1601 It was, but it obviously failed to do the job

[SuperDarkknight92]

chew before you swallow LMMFAO so you were trying to swallow a pretzel whole?

[barkerfmx]

why cant obama choke.....

[Saintnick90]

Add that pretzel to the Axis of Evil.

[TheBloodshower]

He choked on dick. Cheney

[townsendator]

haha what a liar, looks more like he was wasted and got punched in the face. i almost kinda wish this dictator was back at least he appeared to be so stupid that we could all laugh, rather than our new dictator obama who follows the same policies but is more serious

[emoviebuff87]

If he can't chew his own food, how the hell would he survive on the battleground??

[panther0567]

I'd hate to see what happens when he chokes on Halliburton's.... dick Cheney.

[queercat]

Would like to know the real story.

[lolhehe420]

@queercat 0:16 Yeah, you can tell that's a bunch of BS. Look how he turns his head and the hesitation in his voice. And then there's ~7 seconds before he says he woke up with people trying to help him. I bet one of the people who tell this puppet what to do punched him.

[Johnwatch82]

I don't think this is the truth. I have stuffed all kinds of pretzels and chips and even pretzels with dip , dip with pretzels ,and never got a injury like that., looks like he got hit.

[ashmj16]

THIS IS THE ONLY PRESIDENT THAT CANT CHEW HIS FOOD!!! WOW

[etbella3]

Bush is talking to Monica Lewinsky when he says "swallow".

[etbella3]

@lordwilson100 Rightio, chop, chop. Bush was eating the Jewish pretzels, Snyder's, instead of Rold Gold, which are made in America, not Israel. Plus the Jews are really chintzy with salt on Snyder's pretzels. And they kosher slaughter the pretzels before they bake them.

[hocobo]

What an idiot.

[etbella3]

@hocobo Who leaked this story to the press? Must have been his dogs. They talk just like Son of Sam's dog. "Kill, kill, kill," said Bush's dogs to his Jewish-American Pretzels (JAPs).

[Falconxxxfaith]

@mhs10er @analher stfu, we don't care nor want to see wall of text of worthless shit. kkthxbai

[bdubsoldado505]

white chicken shit peckerwood cracker ass buttfucking homo eat a dick and die u satanic bitch

[thetranceknight]

idiot

[analher]

@mhs10er so you're saying if I'm rich I should have betta grammar? Do you know half the ppl in the government organization (I mean mob), dont have a college degree.. Can you say BUSH? Betta be careful whut chu say 2 me, cuz I could be yor future president, and rob "oops" I mean take more taxes from your family; and have yall living in the streets... aka Blaze

[ehcastro3]

i dont get howd GWB got that from a pretzel...he fell? what?

[BoogerFromHell]

lolwut

[zcool120]

He looks just like the same monkey he always did.

[AdRocker99]

He's too dumb, to eat pretzels, apparently smart enough to fix an election

He's the idiot son of an asshole, idiot son of an asshole

[gunnyification]

a pretzel. really. sometimes i wonder if he was faking it. faking the whole thing, i really do.

[Quex01]

he was dead drunk and fell off the stairs more likely...

[sxcpro808]

While our soldiers are fighting in war, george bush is risking his life and his well being to fight off a dangerous pretzel.

[elderlyjr]

Obama makes this guy look like Mother Theresa...please can we trade Obama for Bush straight up. At least he got shit done!!

[madnesscombat5]

@elderlyjr he got shit done but the wrong shit, tbh all america's government is fucking garbage, i wish it were 1885.

[Slayerfan84]

@elderlyjr What exactly was that that he got done?

[ANeonTiger]

@elderlyjr Amen.

[hocobo]

@elderlyjr

You are stupid.

[QuikDJ]

And who can take America serious EVER again

[0dour]

he is a fucken pretzel

[charlietango33]

a fricken pretzel

[YerFACE654]

who the hell chokes on a pretzel?! LOL

[mihaimoldo]

STEP AWAY FROM THE CHIPS SIR!!!!

[analher]

That's what happen when you were tha cause of 09/11/01...It's real strange that it happen on 911; and no ppl it wasn't a coincidente...How can tha ppl not fight against him being impeached? Damn that's fucc'd up that we had a murderer for a president...aka Blaze

[ANeonTiger]

@analher LOL yeah okay you conspiracy theorist. Foreign terrorists were responsible for 9/11

[analher]

@ANeonTiger If yu say so, but he's evil as fucc, jus like the rest of these politicians... It's not blacq vs. white anymore... It's the citizen vs. tha government "mark my words" jus watch... aka Blaze

[ANeonTiger]

@analher Go back to school and learn to spell before you try to comment on politics again.

[analher]

@ANeonTiger Oh I guess they brainwashed yu 2 huh? Go bacc 2 skool? So tha teachers can tell more lies? Here's a couple of 1st grade question 4 yu, did christopher discover america? did the mason 1 eyed pyramid benjamin homosexual franklin discover electricity wit a kite and a key? Let's be realistic, no 1 would be outside fly'n a kite in a bad storm, and did christopher discover or did he rob the Indian's of their land? yu so dumb, it's always 1 though... aka Blaze

[ANeonTiger]

@analher Sorry I can't read your jiggaboo writing

[analher]

@ANeonTiger Jus like I thought, man yu so gullible yu believe anything... guess whut ? Bush is moving next door 2 yu, yu believe me don't chu? Yu: "freak'n yeah I do.. now who really need 2 go 2 skool? Now take yo quaker pale face ass bacc 2 europe and learn sum more fictitious "learning" CHECQMATE !!!

[ANeonTiger]

@analher "Quaker"? LOL

[analher]

@ANeonTiger Whut yu thought yu wuz 100% cracqer? Naw yu 100% quaker boy, where yu think yor ancestors came from? I need 2 go 2 skool huh? Can yu say paper or plastic? btw whut's on tha dolla menu? aka Blaze

[ANeonTiger]

@analher Do you even know what a Quaker is? "Can yu say paper or plastic?" Are you fucking kidding me? I'm college educated you moron. Have you ever even seen the inside of a college you ignoramus?

[analher]

@ANeonTiger That's good you're in college, we need more janitorial service men... I heard when yall clean dorms, you quaker ppl steal money? Is that true? And you asked " do I know what a quaker is" ... fucc'n damn str8 I do, you.. did I use yu ppl lingo correctly? Or should I've said " freak'n yeah I do" yeah dat's betta... Now go put yor long pointed ass beak in a book; and keep getting brainwashed.. now whut's on tha dolla menu?? aka Blaze

[ANeonTiger]

@analher Yeah buddy keep hating on white people for "keepin da black man down". I don't even know what the hell you're trying to argue about anymore, but I can assure you that I'm much smarter and much richer than you will ever be.

[analher]

@ANeonTiger I bet $5000 yu don't have more money than me or my family... 2 you I am yor GOD.... do you know who my auntie is? stephanie tubbs jones (rip)... my mommy a lawyer who works for friedman, domiano & smith(she in the commercial); and my dad builds & remodel homes... I don't ever have 2 work ever, but I like work'n wit my moms... Do you know I already have jobs lined up 4 me.. Les play big bank take lil bank... aka Blaze

[unsheepled]

DICK CHENEY hit squad? no one passes out from choking and then just wakes up!!!

[1poptart36]

@unsheepled actually, yes, that can happen

[orenco]

Bush's my mother?

[bakasmash]

and that's what rang in the good new year.

[thispieistoocold]

whats that? oh never mind, its just the sound of no one caring.

[QTeddy7]

we woulda been great if he choked to death

[shackaduck]

thats nice to want someone dead. you seem like a nice person not go to hell

[QTeddy7]

eh?

[shackaduck]

exactly eh

[QTeddy7]

do i know you?

[shackaduck]

idk do you

[QTeddy7]

i dont really talk to people that shacks up with a duck

[changling21]

He lies,, Laura socked him

[deliciousmorton]

it would have been nice if had choked on the pretzel, and then proceeded to fall and hit his head on an conspicuously placed anvil.

[10lettername]

SHUT THE FUCK AHP jesus H. christ hes only humans, i admit, hes kinda stupid, but for fucks sake lay off, dont tell me you people have never choked on anything. a man at home chokes on something and we forget about the next hour, the president chokes on something and its a national fucking inccendent.

[SlaughterThemAll]

well, if he wasnt so retarded, we wouldnt have cared, look at his track record, and i think youll see why we couldnt let it go.

[smackbunny]

It isn't that he choked on a pretzel, it's that the excuse was 'he choked on a pretzel'.

Think about it, you're the President of these United States and you choke on a pretzel.

Is the story going to be 'he choked on a pretzel'.

No.

Barney the dog ran toward a fire, the President heroically tried to stop him, but he fell and bruised his head.

See?

Implausible? Yes.

So is this nonsense.

[Noobssuckass300]

roflmfao. bush may be the funniest president ever.

[davidinfo13]

If the pretzel had killed him, we would have had cheney to deal with.....

[ringmaster316ms]

just dont give the guy a gun and we should be ok\

[luxollidd]

i wonder will he blame iraq or afghan if he died from choked ?f

[pengsman]

probally

[3therock3]

lol

[PhenomFan013]

So are pretzels the Weapons of Mass Destruction Dubya was talking about?

[zobeebobee29]

how does anyone allow him to talk?

[Born3BeEmo92]

hahaha i hate bush XD

[eric710221]

he had a stroke and it was covered up

[farnium]

Actually that could have happened. He has used the 'folksy-happy-go-lucky' card before.

[HIMlvr789]

RETARD! i swear he has to be.

[xraidedlok]

yeah becuase you have never choked on anything and have never made a mistake mr perfect

[DCaple0013]

chokin' on some chex mix aint data bitch

[MinatoNamikazeSenpai]

oh yeah

a real bitch haha

[w0smith]

I hope the pretzel wins next time you SOB

[bigkyle07]

Fuck you!

[fiveo21]

If I see you I will eat your heart

[camhirtle]

Millions of dollars spent in national defense and the moron almost goes down on snack foods...

[wowtrax]

lmao :P

[xXSgtWolfXx]

Go become president of the U.S.

[camhirtle]

Sure I just need to snort some cocaine and have a rich dad apparently.

[spectre2776]

@camhirtle nice robin williams reference there, dont get creeped out....i listen to him too

[camhirtle]

@spectre2776 Glad to see someone else has taste in stand up heheh.

[JacobJohns100]

@camhirtle sir! sir! stand away from the chips!!!!!!!!!!

[camhirtle]

@JacobJohns100 Put DOWN the Fritos sir!!! I said drop the f*ckin Fritos!

[JacobJohns100]

@camhirtle XD

[etbella3]

@camhirtle Pretzels are twisted.

[camhirtle]

@etbella3 Shit's COMPLICATED! Those tricky pretzels......god damn them.

[cool79606]

@camhirtle how dare you

[imortal22]

I think it's great we have a president that's like me and doesnt chew his food, damn eletists "ooh late da, Im preforming one of the neccisary steps of digestion, now were is my monicle"

[idunno009]

sounds like something stephen colbert would say

[skateboardtheory]

he was drunk

[cutegurl719]

i wish he would of died

[NoObamain08]

you're treading on thin ice with comments like that.

[phoenixsonrising]

Treading on thin ice, so what do you call what Bush is doing when he invades a country that had nothing to do with 9/11 and kills tens of thousands of Iraqi civilians in the process?

[DrMattDestruction]

would've or would have died.

not would of.

[NKA23]

Pretzel (the orginal name is "Bretzel") are from Bavaria....so please bomb Bavaria, not the rest of Germany, just Bavaria....PLEASE !

[NKA23]

Yup, this bozo is too stupid to be a couch potatoe....

[phototrip]

He failed the "chew-swallow don't fucking kill yourself while watching TV" test.

[NKA23]

I won´t write it down here, but it was from the famous "Kitab al´Azif".

Iäh! Iäh! Cthulhu fhtagn!

[jlenaghan]

What he meant to say was "when you're sucking dick, spit before you swallow, even if its only for a little bit, my momma told me that..."

James

[NKA23]

Oops...I hope I won´t end up in gitmo now...

;-)

[NKA23]

I remember being on a party the night before the news broke that "a pretzel almost killed GWB",I was reading a lot about occultism at that point of time,so my friends talked me into cursing GWB,it was just party fun,you know...I was drunk,I really hate that fucker, so I decided to give it a try.I casted a spell on him, that´s said to "send a demon to strangle somebody".

I guess it´s pure coincidence, that GWB choked on pretzels only a few hours later, but...maybe,just MAYBE,I almost killed him.

[killer429]

what the fuck what was the spell called????? what book did u read?? i wanna do that :D

[Marfast]

Yeah, how awesome could be some guessing at "Jeopardy" What killed George Bush Jr.?

The Taliban, No, no you said the wrong answer

It's a pretzel.

[MAYDAYES]

DAM! DAM!!! DAAAAAMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

[sikandar001]

he would have been the only president to be assassinated... by a pretzel

[aokjunebug91]

XD.

[chelxeaty]

HAHA LOL!

[vicyube1691]

bush is the most Idiotic president in history

i cant believe are country got scurried just

because a bunch of extremest hate guys what kind of country elects a president because he tries

to add a amendment that takes away rites from guy people

[gsmooth745]

um he still eats pretzels right?

anyone have a wishbone or something?

[enjo9999]

and just think...he was so close to being dead too....

[smerdley]

I think he should go on a hunting trip with Dick "Boom-Boom" Cheney!

[Novaessrussia]

Wow. I love Bush. =]

[nandoozookeeper]

'chew before you swallow'...NO SHIT!This guy is our worst fuckup ever.

[ANeonTiger]

@nandoozookeeper HERP DERP it's called making a joke, idiot! Our nation was in a LOT better state when he was in office.

[dundee12]

because Dick Cheney would've been made president! *cue Darth Vader music

[powerslave71]

why didnt he die?

[DrewNateProductions]

lol

[Boobalopbop]

F'REAL!!! this is the first i'm hearing of this. How awesome would it be if he died in 2002 by choking on a pretzel? I don't believe in wishing death on people, but dang... this country could have used a break like that. Oh wait... NO...That would mean Cheney would be president...MUCH worse!

[powerslave71]

we would have dodged a bullet only to have jumped in the way of a cannon.