dylan moran - rejection

[Myrkky100]

This sums up my mood so f'n perfectly right now...

[ErizotDread]

lol...comedy at it's finest...and bleakest and darkest...and other ests. All within my realm of taste, luckily. For anyone that hasn't yet, check out dylan moran's special Monster...very good stuff!

[Cross3dPoisons]

"...use your eyes as stppers to muffle the screams you will make as i headbutt you into a fine paste...", is that the best threat ever or am i wrong?

[Metatality]

I'm definitely going to start using "piss-midget" more often!

[shittyfagg]

Shaun of the dead.

[elmyrah]

PISS MIDGET.

[Lundix]

I think I may have a ruptured spleen after " ... piss midget!"

[malfunkshun91]

makes me proud to have Irish blood in me... what episode did they cut this from?

[shittyfagg]

@malfunkshun91 does that mean youre really irish or the kind of guy that says he has irish blood even though when he tries on an irish accent even the Czechs and Spaniards laugh at him, and wouldn't be able to pinpoint fuckin Dublin on a blank map?

[darrylglass5102]

is the v.o. mat berry or peter serafinowicz?

[AlexandriaSherif]

the voice over sounds like matt berry.

[ThaTrunkdotcom]

Fk yes lmao

[throttlehappy346]

fuckin pisser

[MoreAnonymous]

I'll address you as.. "PISS MIDGET"

[sbandy45]

This is great to watch the morning after horrible nightmares.

[MrDoleo]

sudden, violent death. Yours faithfully, Bernard Black.

[MrDoleo]

And yes, I am aware that it is traditionally bad to respond to any kind of criticism or rejection, but with this – as with all else – I am an innovator and may therefore feel free to address you as… “Piss-midget”. Still, there is time for you to change your views when we meet; and meet we most assuredly will. When I suck out your eyes and use them as stuffers for my ears to muffle the screams you’ll make as I headbud you into a fine paste. I do hope that you won’t be disheartened by your

[isabellafalaise]

It was one of the extras from the third season.

[blinddoctorwho]

What episode of Black Books was this from?

[firejutsumaster777]

...and to do it with a flugelhorn was a stroke of genius!....... I miss black books!

[maoristereo]

This is so art-house i expected Vincent Gallo to show up in the background getting unsimulated fellatio

[homeric85]

LOL!! "Bernard, they said --no, no, Brent."

Miss Black Books.

[OzTerri]

@homeric85 ... i heard "brendan"

[migueljonesdiaz]

hahahahahaah piss miget

[Archronos1]

...piss midget.

[Ivek89]

matt berry reading in the beginning. ace

[JennyMcJennerton]

@Ivek89 I thought it was Bill Bailey

[NotARandomName]

@JennyMcJennerton nah thats not bailey

[0BatGirl0]

He's obviously in the character of Bernard but I don't remember this in Black Books.

[Cody111079]

@0BatGirl0 It is on Extras with 3rd season DVD.

[DunlopDaytona]

Death by flugle horn.... brilliant!

[SilverandSilent111]

dylan moran is an absolute GENIUS! his humour, and the words he uses are so nonsensical ... I LOVE IT!

[MutantEnemyGirl]

I hope there comes a time when I can call someone a pissmidget.

[0grecorps]

@MutantEnemyGirl Take it from me, it is more satisfying to just work it in and do so very very loudly.

[TheFinnola]

This is a breath of fresh air in a very serious world. Clever writing is a talent left behind by twits on twitter.

[Cyrius01]

He's rejecting his own lungs and liver with those cigarettes and alcohol - doing way more damage than a flugelhorn. :-) Self deprecation to the point of suicide detracts from the humour. The tortured artist is a dead horse.

[BGWestsydeFlava]

@Cyrius01 shut up.

[betsy111201]

Hahahaaha stroke of genius

[number1historybuff]

He's drinking red wine out of a white wine glass. The more you know...

[bremex]

"the entire weekend writing the novel" :D

[javaretia]

It is so fucking true about publishers!!!!

[KathytheDane]

Does anyone recognize the music?

[CryOutOlivia]

@KathytheDane It's the first movement of Beethoven's Symphony n°1 :-]

[platinumare]

while I headbutt you into a paste hahahahhaa

[kezwagon]

hahaha. it's just far too much genius for one man...

[pontaloon666]

Oh, he's playing Bernard! God i loved Black Books, soooo sad it's over T_T

[papabear1280]

have this basket of stuff and come stay for the weekend!

[TheTaoJoannes]

pissmidget!

[SpreadDaFonk]

... not only for writers but all artists :)

[toastvision]

this is great!

[EuphoriaAvenue]

Brilliant. I wish Black Books was still on.

[Fiume101]

lijepo,salute in Croatia,hm....,very nice

[srang12345]

to adress you as pissmidget!lol nicest video ever ! dude so fucking funny

[GrundySolomon]

when my ex broke up with me, i watched this and felt a million times better

[Frostiedkdk]

watch the movie "a film with me in it" with dylan moran

[parabola235]

@Frostiedkdk fuck yeah, best black comedy I've ever seen, farrr better than death at a funeral

[AMRadioHits]

Is this before, or after, Black Books?

[Cutlertron]

@AMRadioHits its on the black books DVD's

[carnivora70]

Head butt you into a fine paste. Loving this.

[tjomp1989]

This is mother f*cking brilliant.

[Herbstkoenigin]

piss midget ^^

[captainfantastic65]

is the narrator Matt Berry?

[MySaartje]

@captainfantastic65 Dylan Moran. The Comedian in the clip

[Brenho]

yes.  the narrator is Matt Berry

[bittersweettt]

what's flugal horn?

[BriggsRed]

@bittersweettt It's a variant of the instrument called a trumpet, and it's also spelled Flugel horn.

[bittersweettt]

thanks:)

[1TomatoJuice1]

As an aspiring early teen writer, I have always pined away for a rejection letter of my very own.

And now, if it's not too much to ask, I want this dude to write it. :D

[mymagnoliatree]

It's just what I have always wanted to say to the smug sods!

[kidwrap123]

how dare you call this genius man with a phd in black comedy (not the race group comedy but the comedy that bags everything) a dude, he's a genius

[mochaseptember]

When was this shown? It's as his character Bernard Black, so I wondered if it was in the show?

[schr75]

It´s on the Black Books 3. season DVD as extra material. I don´t know if it has ever been aired.

[mochaseptember]

@schr75 Thanks!

[killtroy811]

Everyone...Everyone agreed he was right to kill the publisher and to do it with a flugal horn was a stroke of genius...BRILLIANT!

[killtroy811]

you should have gone too a self publisher...a simple loop hole to bypass the rejection factor...You are badass!

[philphie]

i hope i never become this

[livinintwilightzone]

He's so hot!

[TheKezwagon]

"disheartened by your sudden death" lol.

dylan moran's genius.

[cthomson1]

"Here have this basket of stuff and come an stay for the weekend"

[mieery]

are there any books anyone knows about with this type of humour

[isabellafalaise]

You might like Charlie Brooker. He writes for the Guardian UK and has a couple books out on pop culture.

[Idolcruisefix]

@mieery maybe richard bratigan or hunter s. thompson

[Idolcruisefix]

@mieery maybe richard braudigan or hunter s. thomspon,

[Yngwie69]

@mieery Yeah, It's called 'Black Books'!!

[LukeLegere]

@mieery ahdhdshhashfladsjkfja'dsjfa'dj­fa'dsljf;aj;fjk'dsjfa;lfksadja­sif adslfjkfj;skdfj;kdfja'djfads;l­fjaslfja';fga';sgna'GA'SLKGDA'­DLG'ASLDG;ALSDG;ALDKGNA;SLDKGH­';HA;SDLKHGA;LSDHGA;SLDHG'DHA'­HG'edkhsa;djgfa;solhg;fadsohga­o'dhds;lhdsalf also dickens

[PhUTube4Evah]

@mieery yeah, your mom's diary.

[m0rgyn]

@mieery Ben Elton is another good, black-humour, English writer. A bit different, but hilarious all the same :)

[GodOfYawns]

@mieery You'd probably dig Chuck Palahniuk's books. I'd say Survivor, Choke, or Fight Club. He also has a bearing of anti-postmodernism accented with dark absurdity.

[Xaphiris]

@mieery Sure, just google works with a touch of sardonicism.

[schmerzSchacht]

@mieery: Try Tibor Fischer's 'The Thought Gang'

[teri17]

this is... awesome!!!

[NoLifeGamer17]

"...as a headbutt you into paste" lol

[Filidhe]

and to do it with a fluegelhorn...

[jaydizzle22]

haha did he say piss midget?

baha

[TheFashim]

THIS MAN IS A GOD

[baerin18]

something's not right about these comments. i sense a troll or possibly a case of mistaken identity

[EclecticStranger]

Piss Midget ! LOL...

and a flugal horn....hahaha, genius.

[seal8le8siomon]

Bane of Ireland, stand up comedians played a part in the current fucked up state of the country serving as they did as an opiate which helped the masses to feel better about the scourge and crap of fianna fail et al. They behave as if they re a class of artists, yet there performances are empty fleeting things - it a sense of this that makes the likes of tommy tiernan resort in desperation to the lowest forms of crass sensationalism.

[tretsy]

mate, Ireland is not fucked up. Zimbabwe is fucked up. Iraq is fucked up. Ireland is NOT fucked up.

[seal8le8siomon]

tretsy, you prove my point by the fact you have to pick warzones and dictatorships to give ireland a favourable comparison. Ireland has lots of advantages other places dont, but they re squandered or hoarded by the rich/powerful. Thats fucked up. stand up comedians are just egotists, they fall into the same class as fastfood, popsongs etc, its just a distraction to keep you numb and confused. maybe thats ok, more power to them, but it irks me that they regard themselves as an inteligensia. FTS

[TheJesmonde]

man you are a tossbag, what silly comments. i sense alot of jelousy coming out, maybe people like you should be the famous 'inteligensia', then we would never laugh but wallow in any problems that may arise.....how can we get you to the top me friend?

[seal8le8siomon]

sorry if my opinions offend you jesmonde, but if you re going to just slag me and point out spelling missteaks instead of making a real argument maybe thats a sign of your 'jelousy'. this stand up crap is just another aspect of general dumbed down trash culture - once we produced great writers, now we produce great stand up comedians; the comparison is a joke. open your mind and throw away all your dvds and your ipod, start cycling and eat more greens, and watch out for articulated lorries

[TheJesmonde]

hahaha ok, now I see you were just having a joke, good one you got me.....by the way what is an ipod?

[jdjanzen]

Oh seal8le8siomon, how the irony in your swiss cheese argument tickles me. All stand up comedy really is, is a personal opinion that one is expressing to a group... not unlike what you have done all over this page. Now what is this about stand up comedy being used as tool of distraction to numb and confuse? Good stand up comedy is typically very well thought out social commentary that helps hold a mirror up to people's behavior, allowing them to consider their own views with greater perspective.

[maestroechoplex]

Not quite. You describe the job of good literature more than comedy.

It should be irreverent, at least at times, question authority and show how prejudices are idiotic, in a very amusing manner.

Good comedy, at it's most basic level, is designed to make others laugh. Obviously. Does it have to be a social commentary? Not at all. Like music it's an art that allows you to forget about your miserable life for a time and what more can you ask of art.

[seal8le8siomon]

thats quite far off the mark, people will just regard what makes them presonally laugh as "good" stand up. nothing wrong with that per say. but to suggest its any more use than that is dillusional. it is not art, that is certain, and it does not inform peoples attitudes in any meaningful way, other than to reinforce prior opinions. at its second worst, which is often, its extremely lazy stuff, at its very worst it is mean spirited. why bother to defend it? now you ve heard the truth, move on

[Nimuial]

I'm not wanting to get involved about whether this piece is "good" or not, because as you say, that's subjective. However, you go on to say it's not "art", which is also entirely subjective. In fact, your entire POV is just that -- a point of view. It is not the "truth" it is not "fact", it is not even particularly well argued. You just end up sounding like a pretentious windbag.

p.s. don't talk about "dumbed down" culture then insult someone for pointing out your NUMEROUS spelling errors.

[seal8le8siomon]

Nimuial, if that is your real name, you call me a pretentious windbag and then in the same breadth tell me not to insult people (read more carefully and you ll see there are no insults), Thank you for the lesson is subjectivity, and for your POV

[Nimuial]

I didn't say you ARE a pretentious windbag, I say you SOUND LIKE one. All I can go by is what I read on the page, and all I see is pretentious windbaggery. Anyone who can articulate the phrase "now you ve heard the truth, move on" about an *opinion* can hardly argue their way out of the accusation.

All I'm saying is, if you wonder why people get testy with you in comments, it's because you phrase things in a way that makes you sound like a jerk, not intelligent.

*shrug*

[seal8le8siomon]

Nimuial, i can see you re a massive intelect, and i admit it intimidates me a little, so forgive me my dumb opining. one question tho: are you a mute, or do you have a severe stutter? how is it you cant 'articulate' the phrase "now you ve heard the truth move on"?? its not a tongue twister, the 'r's are not rolled.

[csibibi2]

I think in this instance Nimuial meant: " Anyone ( you) who can articulate the phrase( as in: articulate, adjective: expressed, formulated, or presented with clarity and effectiveness:eg: an articulate thought. )(...) bla bla bla bla(...).

so hahaha, insulting people who articulatly can express an opinion, instead of calling names does not make you funny.

pissmidget

[seal8le8siomon]

...further to the below:

needless to say "to argue ones way out of an accusation" is a highly illogical construction. Is english your mother tongue? sorry, i dont mean that. you re great. but i think stand up is totally overrated, and people just like it coz its easy to digest. someone as skilled as you at coining new abstract nouns (i,m thinking windbaggery here) deserves better

[Snugglesworth31]

That is exactly what kind of thing that goes through any authors head with a rejection letter, its called exaggeration, and it's a perfectly valid way of making people laugh. Also, perhaps you should spend more time working on your sense of humor and less time posing as an intellectual. I say posing, as a real intellectual would know how to spell delusional correctly instead of dillusional, especially after you tried to demean someone for a grammatical error.

[TrimakX]

Grow up.

[seal8le8siomon]

Fuckleworth31, from the lisping sibyllance of your words i can tell you are long accustomed to sucking, indeed throating, engorged cocks. being, as you are, the vile issue of anal coitus i can only pressume that you are well used to astounding scientific opinion and the medical profession, yet that is as nothing to the medical attention you will recieve after i hunt you down and inflict on you the vicious injuries which you heartily deserve. prepare to have the integrity of your person violated;

[IcePotash]

Hey look friendly comments!

[akselKH88]

Generally dumbed down thrash culture i can agree on, but stand up comedy as a part of it? In that case must be something seriously wrong with humour in your country. At the end of the day, stand up comedy is about getting a laugh and forgetting about work and bills. So is everything else in popular culture. Being some lunatic bohemian who rants about popular culture doesn't make you any different from the rest. If you was, you wouldn't be sitting here on this rubbish phenomenon called youtube?

[seal8le8siomon]

i like being called a bohemian, thanks

[olio16]

There's nothing wrong with stand up comedy. It's funny. It's a pick me up. It brings joy to my day. Anything wrong with that? Nope. And you have previously stated that there is nothing wrong with that. However, saying that it is contributing to the intellectual downfall of society seems pretty extreme to me. I see that phenomenon being more reflected in music and the overall quality of sitcoms more than anything else. Stand up can be very witty and there is a lot about it which is very clever.

[olio16]

I feel that the intelligence, within stand up, lies in the art of taking a concept, examining it's various aspects and then proceeding to create material that communicates these aspects to an audience, in a way that is humorous. Essentially, finding what is funny in the world around us. And what keeps it fresh is that all stand ups are different people and being so will mean that they will all make different observations and communicate their observations in different ways.

[olio16]

Even when working with the same concepts, different stand ups will spin it differently. A different flavour to the same dish, if you will. Now, how is this intellectually stimulating to an audience? Well, it depends on how you respond to stand up comedy. You can just sit back and let it wash over you and see how many laughs you produce in response. Or you become more involved. I love looking at the subtleties, the pacing, timing and overall delivery of comic material.

[qqs764]

TL;DR

[olio16]

I can watch the same stand up over and over and spot new things. Stand up is an art in the way that it evokes a meaningful response from people, through the careful placement of small details to produce a intricate whole; much like a fine painting or grand piece of music. You can disagree with me if you wish, but I just with that you could look at it from my point of view. Dylan is a funny man and I just don't think it's right to slander him for making people laugh.

[seal8le8siomon]

olio16, you are a gentleman and a scholar

[baerin18]

with way too much time on his hands

[olio16]

I can't argue that.

[ProbiliciousProbie]

That is legendary! If I get into trouble for calling someone a P**S MIDGET, it will not be in vain.

<3 Dylan Moran xxx

[Asterion17]

God I love Dylan Moran. XD

[Doderhultarn89]

Im going to get a pack of Marboros

[Yayito1234]

lol bernerd black i love dylan moran

[AJxONxFIRE]

i didn't think this guy could be any cooler. until i see that he smokes Marlboro what a legend

[TheOffensivePie]

Wow. I love Dylan Moran. <3

[DrLemur]

Genius :) LMAO

[Rufus5X]

its definitely on the box set DVD,

[lorehal]

It´s at the Extras of Series 3 ;)

[Amalekites]

Gotta love him :)

[stuffandthings22]

IT MAKES ME HAPPY!

[myauralfixation]

I recently saw Dylan Moran performing live, and he was incredibly brilliant. Unfortunately, many youngsters in the crowd didn't understand the irony of his comedic content, which was sharply aimed at them.

[martialartslangatang]

haha so great

[RadishStick]

PISSMIDGET! *snicker* Ahhh I love Dylan Moran

[TheApothocary]

I don't remember this from Black Books.

[Parabol0086]

It's in the special features on one of the discs of the DVD set.

[werferferfNORMAN13]

no it isnt ive got the dvd set with all the season and its not on there

[Parabol0086]

Hmmm. Sorry, maybe I saw it on the 'Dylan Moran: Monster' DVD. Well, I'm no use...

[lorehal]

check 'the extra's on series 3 . It's on mine :P so í'll gues it's on your, asswell as the bloopers and some trailers.

[superbrain68]

here, have this basket of stuff and come and stay for the weekend

[Strauth]

Dylan moran is fucking brilliant!

[RedDragoncombatzone]

man, fuck comedians like russel peters this guy is so much funnier. i've got nothing aqainst peters but his jokes are just funny because he says things others wont. Dylan moran says things others wouldn't dream of. i loved the basket bit like this is this guys ideal for success. getting invited to someones place for a basket of shit. and the way he just passes it off as like "what else would you expect?"

[TheSkinnysavage]

have this basket of stuff and come and stay for the weekend...

=]

[eddiedaskull]

this guy is completely wonderful

He is like a grumpy Dr. Seuss for gown ups

[Seccrenicche]

what does he say?

"...not submitted in 10-foot-high braille (?)"

brand, braille...i can't hear what he's saying.

[IViewMusic]

Yes, I think it's "braille"

[beccabumz]

As in the writing for the blind I think, braille

[lizardtown]

This is why I changed Majors from English Lit to Biology...I'm halfway to this point as it is, LOL

[weakestlink41]

and to kill him with a flugel horn was a stroke of genious

[stingy1sam]

its spelt genius

[TheTerminalMoose]

AGH! [Bangs head against wall. Ow.]

[weakestlink41]

my bad i realized my mistake right after i hit "post comment"

[lizardtown]

ROFLAMO, ahhh, to be a English Major....I need a smoke, and a drink...

[SadisticMonkey336]

an*

[TheTerminalMoose]

"'Brendan," they said, "congratulations. Here, have this basket of stuff and come and stay for the weekend." GENIOUS!

[stingy1sam]

almost as genius as your spelling

[askl23]

"...and meet we most assuredly will, when I suck at your eyeballs and use them as stoppers for my ears to muffle the screams you make as I headbutt you into a fine paste."

Genius.

[Stewie4guvna]

1:38 that face scares me...

[majooismajor]

lol he couldnt think of a good comeback so he came up with an original insult ;)

[tinkernator]

hahaha - pissmidget. Pissmidget is just the absolute greatest word to work into ANY conversation at any time!

[TheSkyHulk]

I saw him two days ago in Guthenburg, Sweden, and it was the funniest two hours I've ever experienced :D

[jacquelinemkay]

lol pissmidget

[bebank101]

its in the special features

[MrsMalevolentMittens]

I am a GIGANTIC fan of his, but I'd be afraid to meet him because I'd lose control of my bladder, foam at the mouth and somehow catch on fire. :/

[schnauzer65]

Same here, and I'm going to his show in 4 days!!! I'd kill to have a smoke with him =)

[spincut13]

he's doing shows again?! Wait, is it in Europe? Oh god I wish he'd come to America...

[NemmyMD]

No, no, in Australia. =)

I saw him at the Borders bookshop, but I didn't approach him because looked like some sort of a formidable king when he was reading and.....and...so...I paid to see him instead at his show. D=