The Independent Woman Dilemma

[Jarreau24]

AWESOME VIDEO!! AND AS A MAN I CAN SAY THAT U ARE TELLING THE TRUE, GOD BLESS YOU!!

[ulrichstern100]

ok...... he's one of my best guy friends for like 3 years and i had a crush on him since...... we joke around from time to time and i'm trying to ask him out but when i try i just get all scared and shaky 9 u prob. know how it feels ) and just ask him another question like have you play this video game or not? WHAT SHOULD I DO???? ( i'm a girl by the way )

[MrTooniceofaguy]

you got it right on the money shay, go girl

[Jaraviyana]

Okay so will it be okay to tell them that you need them? or is that a bad idea?

[lovein30days]

@Jaraviyana bad idea. You do not have to say it. You open your life to him and show him that he can fit in it IF he earns that.

[Jaraviyana]

@lovein30days Okay...thanks! your the best!

[sbonner39]

THANK GOD SOMEBODY IS ACCURATE I WILL BE MARRYING A CODEPENDANT WOMEN ALL U INDEPENDENT WOMEN WILL TURN INTO LESBIANS AND DIE A BITTER LONELY WOMAN SO LISTEN UP!

[str0wb3rry9irl]

as much as a woman might not want to admit it, they do need a man or generally speaking women need companionship. people need companionship to live.

the independent woman wants so much credit but girl, you're grown and as a single adult its your responsibility to have your own stuff. miss independent doesn't get a cookie for taking care of business. but if she wants to keep pushing men away go ahead because money cant hold you at night.

[ucomefindme]

GOOD LOOKING OUT...my fiance will see this in the morning!

[THEREALtrappajohn]

you are so on point babe.

[cv9113366]

Real simple: "Strong independent Don't need a man" translates: "I don't need a man so you shouldn't approach me for a date"

[2HAWTFOUBOO]

thank u mama...so so so true..this independent bull shit is driving me crazy,thats all i hear on the street and on the radio...

[niebunny]

WOW WOW WOW, I had to pause you for a minute. What type of INDEPENDENT women have you ran into. I think its so funny how everyone think they have a cure for independence or have some type of explanation as to y some women choose to b independent. I would rather have no man and be able to take care of myself then be with a man who I have to hide behind. I want to say to all the independent women out there dont change who you r for a man.

[angelinocat]

plus, i think its about time for MEN to talk about something enlightening and "connect" with the woman...

[angelinocat]

not true...men don't like to even buy women drinks anymore...and once they hear that I owe 100,000 grand in school loans, they run.

[shamika1984]

There is NOTHING wrong with independence and there is most certainly nothing wrong with expressing your independence..Men bitch about needy women but then turn around and WANT a woman to depend on them. lol. Look fact of the matter is...I (as an adult) shouldnt NEED to depend on ANYONE for my well being (thats MY job). Any woman who feels the need to dial down her accomplishments so as to prove she NEEDS her man is ridiculously stupid. Be PROUD of your independence and never apologize for it.

[Seedcovers]

Good job!

[4LOSTSOULSONLY]

A masterpiece.

[teebrown31]

Real Talk!!! Babygirl... U da Truth!!!

[MillenniumTV]

AMEN, AMEN, AMEN

Can we say that again people?

AMEN, AMEN, and AMEN

[leabify]

How do you overcome the stereotype of being a "fake, grandiose, independent" woman when being self supporting is apart of your growth and lifestyle?

[moebigsley1976]

Good Advice vid

[trackgrad08]

I needed to hear this. I'm 24 years old and I'm in graduate school and everything I have and done I've done on my own, deceased parents and all...most men who are interested don't try to pursue me as much because they feel as though "I don't need them"...long story...but I'm understanding this topic more and more and understanding "MY" part in it as well.

[palomacro]

How to know if man is shy or uninterested? Will he make first step if he is shy, and how? I dont know the difference. You can make a video about this subject :-) Good luck and thanks!

[whatkindaboi]

Oh you dont need me? I'll find someone who does. Buh-bye.....

[Teteritsa]

a man who needs to be needed simply suffers from inferiority complex.

[lovein30days]

You obviously know nothing about the inner workings of a man. Women need to feel love, appreciated, etc. Every human is driven by the same needs. When you understand a man's needs, you become irresistible to men.

SYDD

[whatkindaboi]

I suppose you dont feel that way about a woman needs to feel loved right? Your type are soooo stupid.

[MissLyttle04]

Soooo true. I thought I was the only one who felt this way. This is exactly what I try to explain to my friends...they just don't get it.

[mrsmaul2010]

I agree, the one thing that irritates me is when women say they do not need a man to raise their kids, that is just a lie. I am sure many f single mothers wished they had a man to help them out.

One thing I did notice was, many of the women shouting:" I am so independent", are the most co dependent women emotionally.  This is just what I have noticed.

[moebigsley1976]

It's funny, a woman may not need a man to raise kids, but those kids need that man in their lives. Besides, isn't it about the kids, and not the woman anyway?  Just adding/agreeing to your comment.

[ebonee1509]

True....

[videoshirt]

guys like to be able to help their chicks out.. so if u never let him help u out he will prolly be like man i'm gonna find me a younger and dumber, nicer chick cuz this girl i got right now is a know-it-all and ish LOL

[MissCharityRose]

I am glad u posted this vid I agree completely...but if I can open the pickle jar, I will open it myself lol no but I get what you are saying its a good way to see who is there for you

[SuavecitoBro2]

On a serious note, this is a good video. I'm glad that you realise how that "mujer independiente" shit works against the whole diaspora of Black Americans, not just the nuclear couple.

[SuavecitoBro2]

With those big-ass lips. Mess around, and we'll create a whole bunch of Al B Sure!'s and Quincy Browns running around here. LOL!

You know you are thick so stand up, babes. I'm a BBW lover.

Mess around and you're name would be GettinItInIn30Seconds. Sorry, I had a Dewege moment.

[lovein30days]

Dude, your comment was disrespectful and not cute! Even IF I wasnt married your statement would not be ok. Obviously you are new to my vids so thats why you made those ignorant comments. If BBW included size 4/5's them Im glad to be in the club. But for real this is a warning that I block disrespectful comments so dont leave anymore on any of my vids

Thank you

Shay Your Date Diva

[lightnstrike]

Block that n----a witha quickness.

[TSmitty3000]

One thing that Independent Women don't realize is men don't seek financial security from women.

[blackcherry8907]

Great advice...I don't understand why some women present their money before they present themselves...that's usually what men do because women are attracted to security (and being financially stable is part of that). If a man is attracted to you for you money than he's probably not a real man...Just a thought

[vanitystarr1]

blackcherry8907: Thats is so true. Its 2 bad alot women these days women cant see that.

[crh2010]

good video

[marcdaddy33]

how about pull back from the independent woman thing.... PERIOD.

[palomacro]

Where is the limit to which women should be available to a man who she likes? Is there a limit?

Thank you

[lovein30days]

Yes there is a limit. You should never be too available too soon. It is a turn off. Take it slow in the beginning and have a life. He shouldnt be able to set his clock to your schedule.

[Phenomenally2007]

wow eye opening :)

[kevinferere]

Her not needing you isn't necessarily the case. It's more so how she treats and takes care of you. Does she have those warm, inviting motherly qualities. Most of those "independent" women don't even know where to start with that.

[ReeNikki]

Should not most adults well over age 25 be independent anyway? Why brag? Good advice Shay!

[twim20]

let them know..that attitude is tired and played out...if u brag about being single u will STAY single..

[marcdaddy33]

well said.

[SweeetPrincessa]

I'm so happy that i suscribed to your channel!! So many good advices. You're really a blessing to people's live. Well you are one to mine. Great advice!! God bless!

[doomallday]

Thank you for doing this video, Shay. I too cringe when certain women always wanna scream "I'm independent!" The funny thing about it is that pretty much every woman that ever said those words around me actually weren't independent. If a man doesn't feel like he could upgrade a woman or offer her something invaluable, he ain't trying to date her seriously. That's why most "independent" women are single and unmarried.

[chenderson30]

I agree with everything that you say,But Men are not intimidated with women's success.Men are not attracted to degrees..Where attracted to beauty,the brains are a plus don't get me wrong...lol Just like you said,all those degrees are not holding any validity in getting a man.

[BaldButWigged]

[pt 2] you know how some ppl lie & say 'no, that's not true' when it is about their feelings? well, i've always had that feeling when guys say or do things. they could tell me they like me, and i think he does but for a different reason than the one he's stated. *throws hands up*

[BaldButWigged]

[pt 1] it's hard to feed into making him feel like he's needed, because i see a power struggle. like, he thinks he's this guy who has all the control and authority, but at the end of the day, he doesn't. some guys get on an ego trip, and that's not cool.

[mpenny226]

Independent should not mean something negative but folks have taken it to the extreme. I have 'things' and I consider myself independant but I b/c I want to be a partner to my man and not a liability. I never through in his face what I have (or to anyone at all). Things can be taken away, I would rather talk about WHO I am as a person. Great vid Shay!!!!

[kyates1]

i know what you mean! I think it"s funny that you say that talking about how much you make, your degree, car and etc is a turn off. Everytime I meet a man that's all they talk about, so that's not fair.

[IBVee]

i have never experienced a man being the provider or protector in my life....my mother was a single mother and that "strong black women".....i think its hard for many because the dont know how to allow it to happen....well thats my problem......

[lovein30days]

I understand that, I REALLY do and it does take practice knowing how to step back and let a man be the man. The way our mothers did it is NOT the way it is supposed to be. This is too much stress on us to do it all ourselves trying to be the "strong independent woman."

Choose one: Be strong, independent and dont need a man = alone with cats OR

Learn how to be a strong woman with a man who can be THE man and take care of you and cover you as God instructs him to do = happy with less stress.

Sydd

[justalittlebiased]

I love this comment. One thing though, I don't think men are intimidated by women who are more successful, men are generally more intimidated by more successful men. I'm sure there are some small cases of this though. If more females in general thought like you from an relationship perspective our communities would be in better shape. peace be upon you!

[kuunami]

I agree justalittlebiased and Shay, you absolutely got it spot on correct. This is what a lot of the so called independent women don't understand. Men aren't intimated by their accomplishments, they're turned off when those are the sole thing that the woman places her self value on. When you constantly talk about your accomplishments it makes it seem as if you're a braggart or materialistic person and that will turn good men off.

[Unekwu89]

so right! A woman can have degrees and all but men dont want to marry degrees. those two are not correlated. Men like smart women, true but they dont like haughty, snotty, women that are not good people first.

Same goes with men, I know I dont like guys that keep blabbing about their accomplishments. Unless we are on the topic they need to turn the bragging down.

[mjrd78]

Loving this agree totally

[ReviveUK]

I think any woman or man that's been independent for a time just are not used to being helped out, so its just an adjustment that comes with time...also I think SOME men, normally the ones that enjoy being carried by women (yes, not all the traditional male stereotype) love strong independent women...not my cuppa tea but I have seen some relationships like that and they are happy

[mjrd78]

yup yup I was like that for 13 fu**ing years but he does not see it that way

[yowee1234]

This is so true... :)

[1titans]

Damn good vid though

[TwelveChariots]

No if you can pay for it pay for it. I don't feel like getting off of work just to come fix your car lol.

[803HighRollers]

WOW...

[alonnakyle]

True!

[OdeToNecrophilia]

Not every person needs someone else in their life to feel complete... though most people seem to.

Just saying. Some people are content by themselves for the rest of their lives.

[lovein30days]

Unless the person was born asexual, this is very unlikely. People check out of love and dating because they are no longer willing to take the risk. No risk=no reward. Ppl who say they dont want someone are lying.

SYDD

[OdeToNecrophilia]

I disagree! I personally am most content when I do not have to put energy into making another person in my life happy as well as making sure I've got everything I want out of a relationship. I find it a hassle to be in a relationship, whether I love them or not...

I don't want someone and I'm not lying! lol this may be hard to believe but some people really are like this

[marcdaddy33]

Am Shay....

...it's something they say to make themselves feel better... spot on with respect to the fact that they are unwilling to risk heartbreak because they most likely experienced in a past a very demoralizing heartbreak and thus made themselves not want to be in a relationship anymore.

[OdeToNecrophilia]

@BavenWrinkley23: ???