Struggle street but fighting ....

[spekgirl1]

im so glad that you are doing better, i love you girl you are my sister in Christ!

[iamoutherenow]

Hey Chelsea, missing seeing your videos your an inspiration and stronger than you know... keep up0 the fight precious as I know you can beat this!!

[anawings]

Thankyou:)

I want to get back to doing videos soon however I am limited to internet access atm so when I get my own connection I will be back:)Let me assure you I am still fighting and have not given up:) Thanks for your support,

Luv chelsea xx

[xxmoonflamexx]

hai,

I know how hard it is to live with anorexia, but you are soooo skinny. Seriously, please don't lose more weight and fight for your own happiness.

x

[anawings]

I am trying hard:) Thanks I am fighting for my own happiness:)

[windymadchen]

Sweet Heart, I can relate to that feeling of just not being able to say what is on ones mind. It is quite frightening! Whenever it happens I feel ill and just don't want to eat. However the feelings don't go away when I concentrated on food they actually worsen. It's even more stressfull trying to regulate food. Also I tend to be unable to voice my thought's when I'm stressed out and it sound like lack of money and everything might be you're stresser.

[skytrain11]

You looking good, try to stay positiv. Your skinny enough now...So dont loose more weigth.

[GogatsuGirl]

Wow, reality check here please. Don't be a bitch. As a sufferer of this condition, I'm surprised that you'd say something so nasty and discouraging to others. Do better than that! You comment a lot on other people's stuff and denigrate them by calling them fat and ugly. If you aren't pleased with yourself, don't hurt others trying to recover by drawing them into a pity party along with u. That's UGLY behavior, and there's no excuse for it. I hope when you get better you'll grow the hell up.

[angelinabueno]

wow...ur muscles arms are so beauty, perfect....u are pretty!

[butterflyeagle2]

ey chels¡¡¡

be strong¡¡¡

can we chat?

[anawings]

Thanks bea, i will:)

Yes but as you know I do not have the internet. Only when i go to mums. Maybe wednesday or saturday? Keep in touch and we can arrange a time. i been thinking of you and hope you are going ok:) x

[misstiggykins]

Hi Chelsea, it's great to see you back, but sad to see that you're struggling...

Three points:

1. Your therapist should be concerned about your weight loss.

2. The more weight you lose, the more distorted your view of your body will become and the more obsessed you'll be by that distortion.

3. I know it's really hard to eat more - especially if you have the tendency to purge, but please try to nourish your body. It's not the total answer to recovery, but it's a big part..

xxx

[anawings]

Thanks Tiggy:)

I think when I mentioned he was not overly concerned I should have said too that he is worried that i won't be able to put a halt to it. I know that since my weight has gone down the distortions have become MUCH more apparent then when i was at a higher weight. I am quite aware of this and that my mind is going to play games. Scary isn't it what happens to the brain?!

[anawings]

I really am trying though. But honestly, its only been the last fortnight i have begun to turn things around. I have dug out my old inpatient meal plan and am using that as a guide at the moment but its hard...back to baby steps I think. I know you understand that. Weight loss this time has not been intentional. I think just the change of living out of home and new responsibilities coupled with much more physical activity has contributed to this lapse.

[anawings]

My mindset is not as entrenched as it has been, particularly in my teens and i am much more aware of my illness and signs it is getting out of hand. I will keep fighting! How are you going my dear? I am sorry I have not kept up to date with videos. Shall try to watch some of yours soon:) Hugs and thanks for your support:) Love Chelsea x

[justagurl23]

i think people stare for several reasons...because you are beautiful, because they see how thin you are and are worried, because they are scared, because they don't understand and because maybe some understand what you are going through, etc. i know it sucks being stared at but it possibly is also a bit irrational (not always i know). *big hugs*

[kuki1308]

Hey hunni. Great to have an update from ya albeit not a hugely positive one. I'm praying for you hunni and here for you anytime and on fb too. Good luck finding work sweet. I truly believe God will guide you to where he wants you to be. Keep fighting and gather your strength. Definitely its important to keep social to stop you falling deeper into things. Hugs always xo

[anawings]

Thanks sweets, that really means alot to me:) I will continue to fight this. You must too:) Stay strong xox

[Joy05cf]

Good to see ya again hun,

sorry things are a struggle right now.

Here for ya if you need to chat!

- Joy -

[anawings]

Thanks Joy:)

I will get there...just a minor lapse. Don't cope too well with change moving out has been one of those changes that takes time to adjust to i guess. Trial and error with alot of things i guess. How are you hun? Thinking of you:) x

[Lovesenduringpromise]

I hope you can find work soon, hun.

Many prayers for you for recovery and finding work. I know both are hard, especially when you just want to isolate. You can't let that part of you win, you have to gather any ounce of strength you have and fight. God bless.

[tommax26]

Hi Chelsea, I know your mind is filled with various regrets, but I still see a hopeful future for you. I'm thankful you are pursuing more in first aid because there will always be employment in this service area. Try and keep your strength up to make yourself employable as EMT's or paramedics. Actually your small size makes you perfect for rescue work in tight spots. But like I say, you will need your strength. God bless. Love you.

Tom

[lilkel86]

I hpe you can feel better soon..are u getting treatment?

[anawings]

Thanks hun:)

I am just seeing my doctor fortnightly for medical check ups and i see my pychologist weekly. I do not intend to go back to treatment unless i can't halt the weight loss. so far I have maintained my weight here so atleast i am not continuing to drop. test of time and strength to fight. *determined and stubborn to not let it win* too much to lose now that i have my own place and independence. X

[lilkel86]

Glad to see you trying to be strong and positive :)