The Year in Douchebaggery (The News on Cracked 12/27/07)

[HectorL360]

:O You shall not take the name of the Chuck Norris in vain

[FallofAdam88]

This is not funny.

[negativemotherfucker]

cracked is the biggest douchebag

[InnocenceExperience]

How does struggling with addiction or shaving her head make Brittney a douchebag?

[chris1816]

since when was IJ internet famous? this vid is like 3 years old, that is like a century in internet years.

[boonbab777]

is that the CHIEF!? So thats where he went..

[phiphers]

i liked the chuck norris bashing not the tazzed dude bashing

[Activsoul]

Justine's pregnant.

[LaytonTheWookie]

okay this guy is a douchebag actually

[mimepkltd]

you reckon he got roundhoused for calling norris a douchebag?

[PhantomLord]

why the hell does the chick have so much reverb on her voice.

[shawno66]

my vote for DBOTY goes to Irv Sutley (google it!)

[brunoofthesheikra]

#5, was very intolerant [as in didn't just attack dishonorable behavior. he attacked the people doing it.] And let his sons/staff screw up a perfectly good college.

[mastermelee369]

Justines hot

[nintendude1994]

Thats really ijustine?

[PhilAndFrankShow]

#6 is such a motherfucking douchebag

[jaredwilder88]

FUCK CHUCK NORRIS!

[TheTriforce123456]

@jaredwilder88 BRUCE LEE IS BETTER

[Deovindice2001]

haha this is  a funn list

[jaredwilder88]

who the fuck is chuck Norris?

[cheezecakeV2]

=O You dont know chuck norris?

[relientkfan101]

you fail

[EdgeMusicOfficial]

You have this year's Douchebag #1 spot for having no idea who Chuck Norris is

[ifudontlikemefuckoff]

Hey cockfag you forgot one: lex number 1 douche of the year

[meixli]

OH HELL NO!! MICROSOFT'S ARE DOUCHEBAGS!! THIS GUY CALLED A BABY A DOUCHEBAG! WHAT A WET DOUCHE! i mean seriously, calling a baby a douche, and microsoft, THEY CREATED COMPUTERS YOU FUCK TARD!! Chuck norris, he's not a douche, at least he was able to play in a actual show unlike this douche, fat and making gay videos. Hey fatass, get a life!

[WhiteninjaB08]

So in response to a video about douchebags, you act like a douchebag? Interesting.

[jonnierekkisvalur]

You can't say that Chuck Norris is a douchebag!

haha jk. Look at me! I'm a douchebag!

[wojoness]

un murdered, lol

[ZaoChi]

not that funny. not really, at least.

alot of his 'douche bags' are really stupid.

[ELP71]

where are all the Mr M forum douche bags?

[DChappelle27]

wheres bush??? you cant honestly leave out george w. jr on the douchbaggery list of 07! that just makes no sense...

[shadowenglish]

So funny.

[fistpittingnork]

This is funny, but Chuck Norris pitches the Total Gym, not Bowflex. Bowflex is promoted by that old, bald Michael dude that plays in a rock band. Did I mention he plays in a rock band?

[nitsud111]

i lol'd

[iraleecantellia]

Somehow I don't think Michael Vick is getting raped in prison. Maybe the other way around, but definitely not getting raped.

[laidoffforlife]

LOL i love number 7#

[radico0o]

well this is a bit late, but I really like my Vista...It does use a lot of ram/memory but that's because it's so active.. I love the rest, great job!

[elijahsno]

uh... FYI... no love for Chuck Norris but he isn't "actually" suing the internet.. or all the people who came up with those little slogans.. he's suing some douchebags who are trying to profit off other people's humor... poorly researched, poorly thought through cracked...

[carnooba]

You get tased for "not settling down"???? I thought tasing was only supposed to be used when officers felt they were in imminent danger.

Rosie O'Donnell is picked on for trying to spread the truth? For trying to refute a movie called Zeitgeist ?? Look it up. Why would anyone object to here denouncing such crap??

[Erratt]

Spread the truth? What, that a holographic plane hit the world trade centers? Go fuck yourself.

[impres501]

that Justine was fuckin' hilarious

[lesta09]

wack

[rakxzo]

This is great. A bit long I think... but great notheless. Hope to see a monthly rendition of 2-3 nominees for the current year.... that would be great.

[joniblujeenz]

seems like some bright minds behind the work. shorten it up and/or break the piece up into more than one video, turn up the richness in the colors to make it a little more interesting to look at the same image for quite a while. make sure that greenscreen isn't glitching. if it is then just toss it [it gives me a hard time too. these editorial steps might help boost your views ;) don't really sit around and watch videos too often but this wasn't too shabby. nice work dude[ttes] .

[Thepiewhoshaggedme]

Yawn. This guy became less and less interesting as it went on. He is dressed like a 1991 sleazebag, thinks he is Jeff Goldblum and should find a role behind the camera not in front of it, and not writing either. Zzzzzz.

[ShitakiRoss]

I thought I saw iJustine in the thumbnail. It was her.

[leTinyFace]

FINALLY someone recognizes what a big douchebag Chuck Norris is and what bullshit his stupid "facts" are.

[fatkidsgettinghurt]

Bet you wouldn't say that to his Chuck's face. Yeh, that's what I thought.

[xspondeex]

Chuck Norris is an ACTOR. He is not a superbad death dealing machine, he is an ACTOR. A terrible one too.

[fatkidsgettinghurt]

Easy to say when he's not in front of you in the pouncing lion, position ready to strike.

[Bloodhalfdemon]

So Darn Funny

[jok014]

pearl ftw :)

[SharksKid]

the 'don't tase me bro' part was the best.

[KamachoMcSagget]

Chuck Norris rocks!!!

[michaelgrimm]

Your a tool.

[KamachoMcSagget]

Your a firbie.

[KamachoMcSagget]

Actualy, your a douchbag.

[cacaman23456789]

your still a tool

[mansaladeater]

Your hair looks like a douchbag

[Ne0ConKiller]

meyers is not douchebag for excercising his freedom of speech that REAL men died for

[BlueNile123]

don't tase me, bro! roflmfao

[Jessebied]

Nice lmao!!

[flytre182]

wow you are The biggest douchebag

[Orbot]

Douchebaggery...I like that word!

[123PWNT]

Why aren't you at number 1?

[willowbud]

How about Top 10 Pantloads????

[TheBeautifulSheeple]

Why do they have THIS guy read it?? He's a total Douchebag himself!

[nahummadrid]

Can we retire the term douchebag? It's old.

[ichbeineinrcg]

Sure, let's do that. Douchebag.

[nahummadrid]

Good one.

[JagStar3654]

So Britney Spears is a bigger douche than Michael Vick? or O.J?

That's it join the million other jokers who exploit Britney spears to get hits.

stupid

[NiggaTubeDotCom]

This is AWFUL and NOT FUNNY...

[ludesrv1]

Oh, ever heard a dry sense of humor? Learn to laugh.

[TheSnowBall]

"dry" ?

No, this just ain't funny in any wierd way at all.

[dark14cs]

Cracked sucks shit. This was the least funny and misguided douchebag list I've ever seen. Britney is #1? Microsoft? You guys suck

[bannor216]

amy winehouse...douchebag

[Buckmaster16365]

The BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG EVER IF THE DIMWIT WHO JUST READ US THIS BORING PIECE OF FECES.

WHAT A WASTE OF HUMAN SPERM.

I'M AGAINST ABORTION EXCEPT IF IT PERTAINED TO THIS "NEWS BOY".

DOES A CHICK ACTUALLY LAY UNTER THIS WORM? I THINK HE'S QUEER.

[googleownsy0utube]

chuck norris dosent need a tool kit to make repairs around the house because hes enough of a massive tool himself ROFL

[sinjin88]

So bush didn't make it?????

[ConcertPianist]

Hahahahahahahahahahaha! lmao.

[Zackapo]

Good, not excellent, just good.

[i4w]

They need to add 1 more douchebag to the list. the host of this unfunny video.

[MaicoMoon]

Yea, they need to add one more douchebag to the list, the douchebag I'm replying to.

[indignorant]

I guess we found the host of the show then? This is unfunny stuff and should be added to the ever inflating pile of turd that is Internet humor.

If your going to talk someone down at least make sure you do a second take to get their name right. Chuck Morris? Moron.

[jaz88pa]

I agreed with 10, 6 and 3, didn't really get the other ones

[SWGisGay]

You kids who use the word Douche bag should look up what it actually means. I pwned my friend when he called me a douche. I asked him if he knew what douche ment, he was like I dunno!! He got pwned because he just sat there haha.

[Iam1uglyguy]

Lex=Douchebag

[sphumi]

Not funny. The guy in this video should be the #1 douchebag of the year.

[sphumi]

seriously, who IS this guy to call all of these people/things douchebags? Spears ahead of Vick for douchebag?

[zooby]

faggot

[hustlerswife13]

Who the fuck is he to call Pearl a douchbag?

Lost me there..

[gwterror]

whos the woman?

[truthliar]

Chuck Norris is just a Texas Walker Banger

[pauldonald]

the only good thing about macs is the software and if they ever let "ilife" to be on windows like "microsoft office" is now on macs no one will want to buy a mac because windows computer are a better built. the video quality is better, more hard drive space, more ram which makes it faster, you can build one that is better then a mac and is cheaper, better dvd players etc

[LisaJMoore]

The reason this is not funny, is because there is so much hate over nothing...Chuck Norris a douchebag? From what I have heard he is a stand up guy. I have a friend who has worked with him.

Losers

[TiborZutron]

lame. quit trying to be clever...douchebag.

[6Dark6Rogue6]

Meh, I don't think it's right to put Britney ahead of Vick. She's pretty insane and an attention whore but she isn't a felon. But, I agree with most of the others...(Pearl is the worst.)

[truthdiestwoday]

this guy looks like a douchbag

[20th]

he does!

[Shnanana]

good picks, but man your jokes are pretty lame...like way lame

[midnightmisssukiii]

I am with you there... this definitely had the potential of being funny, but they really screwed the pooch on this one.

[Daelion164]

Pure Lulz

[BeechSundowner]

Happy New Year!

[pdalko]

Douchebag # 1/2 - Cracked

[Zarbod]

I love Vista. What's wrong with you crack heads.

[dynamite5]

Watch this video:

News Reporter Gets Mooned

It's hilarous!!

[FBPstudios]

well this sucked

[bigboner1990]

wow ur gay as hell for makin this

[mote65]

this is done by a website, not the user

[photekxl]

So true about Chuck Norris. It sucks when people you think are cool turn out to be total dickwads. He's also a f'ing bible thumper.

[max7nh]

I work my ass of all year every year to get into this bit and I never get mentioned. Making the Cracked, the biggest douche.

[dasuj]

i waited for the end cuz i wanted to see you as douchebag #1... o.0 how do you put spears over you?

[boohennessy]

I thought it was supposed to be comedy. Fail on a massive scale.

[Spearsoft]

Would have been a better video if you had more charisma than baking powder.

[spljam]

wow that dude talks alot

[aro5006]

Your mother must have been a REAL douchebag to ner her son Lex. Who are you? A bald comic book character?

[smek2]

The biggest douchebag is the host.

[spiff225]

all those evangelicals should be #1

[krazyaznkid]

you're the douchebag

[TellusJD]

And Number 0 You with curly black ugly hair.

[Deelman7]

AMEN.

[MichaelLeppan]

Not that funny....

[horkenbubble]

Eh. Not that funny. Maybe two giggles.

[henry1357911]

Lex Freidman, what a great program. You are almost as constrictive as keith olberman. The only problem was, all these people really aren't bad, except for michael vic, and also the taser guy, whom John Stewart described as "engaging in doutchebagery."

[meggiemeg86]

Why wasn't George B. on the list? He should have been #1.

[d3slokk]

Belicheck is Awesome ! - You're not even fit to be his Douchebag, Douchebag

[imthevictim31789]

He Is Awesome, Go Pats!

[tubeandy89]

LEAVE Britney ALONE!!!!!!! ! :O

[UltimateChance]

imn sorry, but calling people with shitty douchebag jokes is not funny at all

[Str1ckNine]

God this video fucking sucked. The fucking host should have been douche bag #1. Please, go die in a fire.

[lEQl]

woah the lady is very beautiful

[Eyedea]

they still make cracked...does that old guy still edit the magazine...does the magazine even come out anymore

[memadman]

This is great stuff !!!

[cuete27]

Well, this guy 'Lex' pretending to be smart while reading a home-made teleeprompter should be around #5.

No wait! these were 'celebrity douchebags', he's all home grown and unknown, #1 on that category ha ha.

[tiem230]

the script is kinda funny, these people arent

[ethen24]

Don't tase me, bro!  XD

[gwterror]

The woman was hot

[jsinghood]

this could be ok... except this Lex guy left himself off the list...

[winnerdude13]

Kinda funny, and if you are going hate, at least use proper punctuation and English.

[blackraider2]

didnt he say he didnt want to talk to a deuchbag? buy he did he talked to coach bil bellacheck, now i think that makes lex a deuchbag.

[cheapblanket]

That is a pic of Marcus Vick, Michael Vick's younger brother.

[tiem230]

no, marcus is a righty, the guy in the pic is a lefty.

[gyloir]

Umm, do you not understand why Chuck Norris is upset?

It wasn't about people making the jokes/sharing them, it was about a book publisher getting all of the jokes OTHER people made up and then putting them in a book and selling it for profit.

That is wrong no matter how you think it.

[Cuntlickerr]

this video looks like an attack on normal pple by gays,lesbians and atheists,fuck u guys

u suck,abnormals will never defeat normals

fuck gays

[MFYates]

what the hell is a normal person? i didnt know there was such a thing...

[Cuntlickerr]

normal pple are not gays or lesbians

normal pple dont fuck anuses

normal pple -u see them everywhere

abnormal pple-the minority of them

[l0gically]

Normal people don't parade around on YouTube with names like 'cuntlickerr'.

[MFYates]

you are very abnormal my friend, lol

[RustyShacklefuurd]

this guys name is cuntlickerr real slick...jerry falwell = normal person?? pretty much everyone in this video is a dooshbag so I dunno where you get off. You Nazi

[Sammerkona]

Too late, we abnormals already rule. Do you think George Bush is a normal? Or Britney Spears? Or anyone on YouTube? Look in the mirror... you are the only "normal" left! Bwahahaha

[Spectres]

Cuntlicker, you hit the nail right on the head. These media fucks are pro-gay, anti-America, anti-Christianity, and basically just rejects that want to pussify the West.

The liberals are destroying our country on a daily basis.

[photekxl]

Destroying religion will make the West stronger, not pussify it. Anti-christianity is welcomed.

[Spectres]

Phote..another brainwashed product from our liberal education system.  All of you little fucks don't even realize your minds are being warped and shaped by the 60's era hippies.

Lmao...what a country the U.S. has turned into.

[sinjin88]

Jeez... Its called sarcasm people. Nobody in this world would think christian conservatives are normal.

[Spectres]

The majority of Americans are Christians you idiots. The youth of today has the carefree attitude that "you can do whatever you want.

You welcome gayness..you're femenized...males wear faggot earrings...females wear nose and liprings...you spew anti-american verbage...you're lazy workers..you're spoiled little wimps.

[MB3141]

wow that was lame

[UrbanPoet]

you should put put yourselves on this list :-|

[spetes1]

john kerry should have answered andrew's question, and taken control of the situation. he should have stopped the tazing.

[mazam365]

i concur... but i got the feeling he didnt want the situation to bring any negativity towards him- just wanted to let the police handle a potential phsyco.

[Jaromani]

I think they're sponsored by Apple. :) Otherwise I liked it.

[malbano]

Half of his douchebag list isn't that bad. Microsoft? Just because Vista isn't the best, doesn't mean any douchebag naming is called for. Same with the Tazer, that wasn't cowardess, that was called lack of free speech in our retarded country, and I actually love our country.

[whizzbangnyc]

I'd say the kid who got tazered is definitely a douchebag. Besides, if you're so worried about the infringement of our civil liberties, you might want to reconsider defending Microsoft. Unless you don't actually have any problem with unfair trade practices, intellectual property theft, threatening competitors, or as the Seattle Times called it, "sweatshop conditions" for its employees. Not to mention, Vista sucks.

[five2weezy]

Pot Meet Kettle!

[crookedcarrot]

Let the word "douchebag" die this year.  Talk about an over-used insult.

While its still 2007, brand a Douchebag on your own head, Lex. Douchenozzle.

[jokingman]

why is this included in the comedy list?

not funny

[dentalplanz]

the "fencing" bit was the only good part.

[kazoobeans]

Crap. You just reminded me that my son's XBOX 360 just stopped working with the "red ring of death."

I have to dig out the Best Buy receipt. I've had so many game consoles die so quickly the service plans actually pay off!

That would support Microsoft's inclusion on the Top 10 list of Douchebags.

[alphashade]

this was funny until I saw justine pop in, she is annoying on so many levels

[Pawluk44]

Did you know that the US army orrigionally wanted to sent Chuck Norris into Hiroshima but it was considered to cruel to the japanese so the US dropped the atomic bomb instead.

[scullpolisher]

funny

[xeresy]

poor

[pornfartin]

switch pearl and vick, pearl is a bitch.

[sangremog]

The host looks like he needs a shower

[ronfar321]

Chuck Norris is all about the Total Gym not the Bowflex, learn your actual chuck norris facts instead of focusing on the fake ones