How To Pretend You're a Real New Yorker

[CookieJune74]

this is like how to pretend being a real Tokyoker.

[Xaviour01]

That only works if youre visiting Manhattan or Queens if you do that in the Bronx you'll be dead by step 11..........

[XXiNeedANameXX]

Step 1 - Be Arrogant

Step 2 - Pretend you know what youre saying even if its complete bullshit

Profit! Did you know Spiderman is a transexual cow?

[vanessa2949]

@XXiNeedANameXX  WTF? LOL!!! >.<

[ThePlus1818]

NYC suck ass too many white people, red necks, and flat chested women

[MikeLikesOreos]

@ThePlus1818 LOL too many white people? the most multicultural city in the world & you worry about too many white people. as opposed to what, africa? nice try, bud.

[losatta123]

@ThePlus1818 o.O What the firetruck?! Have you ever been to NYC? It's super multicultural!

[MrBoxen]

No this well most of this isnt true, someone talks shit to you beat their ass and spit on them

[SalvyGirlCindy13]

This is true. New Yorkers always have something to do which is why we're always busy. That explains the whole walk fast and check blackberry thing.

[anythingfun13]

did you know that 80% of the rude people in NYC are first generation imagrants from other countries.

[pokedudewithglasses]

half*

[pokedudewithglasses]

I knew New Yorkers are a bunch of douches, but I didn't think all of them were a bunch of egotistical asses. I mean, seriously, always check your blackberry like you're worth have a shit?

[smokeduppeon]

hay benny where u at?

[firelordzuko100]

i live in ny and if u go to times square or anywhere wheres theres tourist the venders are not cheap they rip u off so go to places that a tourist wouldnt go to the venders are cheaper

[MrRagalshnagal]

Here's a tip for all you tourists : If a food court is selling something really overpriced, tell them the guy down the street is selling it cheaper and walk away. Half the time, the vendor will stop you and sell it cheaper. It's how I don't end up paying $4 for a bottle of water.

[itslazza]

i wanna move to ny so bad

[MsAmberW14]

Thumbs up if you have no intention of going to NYC anytime soon

[JessiLopezMusic]

I heard natives from New York are rude, but I want to live there anyway.

[Khaneistheking]

Psh, NYC, what a shithole.

[PavelMazniker]

Hi ,

I need to get a kind of official document from U.S. New York to show at my local U.S. embassy to get a good visa to U.S.

The document could be an official legitimate job offer with some watermarks from U.S. Goverment. It can be sent to my place via email , file transfer - simple.

Can you make the document and send me , man ? Then when I arrive to N.Y. we can conclude to meet and I'll help you too.

contact:stsht@ymail.com

[XxPzPxX1]

Im a new yorker but i dont act like this

[TheNYCUrbanite]

Hysterical! And all of it true - especially the Outsized ego... an absolute must!

[TehStreaker]

ThePandaMan was here

[Igonkeelchu]

Outsized ego? Optional? I'd say required lol

[svinjaxxx]

nerd guide!!!

[extremecrazy123]

word if you bring your car to NYC you re going to waste so much time looking for a parking spot

[MrBoxman29]

what if they mention the town your from *mine has less than 100,000 residents*

[tinycrown8]

This doesn't really have to do with this but when I last went to New York Elmo was stalking us >.>

[DoURememberMe9889]

fuck why does this sound like ALL OF FUCKIN ITALY!

[aleycathhh]

DID HE SAY PORNO?

[AnarchistGoth]

@aleycathhh

Yes he did. Back in the day, there were porn cinema's everywhere on Times Square, as well as homeless people, hookers, and people getting robbed in broad day light. I am not exaggerating.

[steffany16]

lmao! This is awesome

[PretzelBabes]

if your irish dont listen to this americans love the accent



[hazz21]

Step one - Be Itallian

[Tiffyindira]

excuse me but you can wear the i x3 ny shirt new yorkers like those

[AwsomeOne01]

2:31 nuts 4 nuts

[hobo4524]

idk know why im watching this i am a real new yorker

[MarBenShua]

But if u ware black it will be so hot

[0898sparta]

looks really horrible i do not want to go there

[fightinside1]

when i went to new york it was infested by tourists from other countries. geez guys i've lived in the us all my life and only been to nyc once!

[XxEmo1997xX]

California 

[THESPIDERTAM]

Living in NYC for 4 yrs without knowing Houston is pronounced as "Hows-ton", shame

[julie2447]

hehe i iive in Miami ;)

[baddogonline]

So, true about New Yorkers and the other cities. You're a hick if you live in flyover country. Snootie much?

[storyma2011]

i live in LA :}

[themenaceanish]

NYC, BEST CITY IN AMERICA!

[chatty5799]

@themenaceanish detroit iz better

[themenaceanish]

@chatty5799 LOL! Detroit is the worst city in America XD

[KajiCarson]

@themenaceanish I bet it's better than your mother's basement though.

[ImTheEmma]

@themenaceanish correction best CITY IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!

[CraziestAngelEver]

Lol, i live in ny. ^^

[xoxoBlackBarbiexoxo]

NEW YORK^^!

[xRawrMeansILoveYou0x]

i already wear all black bitch

[FaggonDraggon]

more like how to be a poser, i mean wtf if ur not a douchey faggot guy that talks retarded then why act like one?

[Damian14nyc]

Hey that's exactly how I act cause I'm a new yorker

[joelmxl09]

How to be the perfect retarded wanna-be

[TheWolfgirl11]

Just say, "HEY VINNY! Hows the veal?" There you go. Italian-New Yorker.

[AquariusEddie]

HAHAHAHA, absolutely brilliant. 

[MrManFig]

I live in Manhattan, and I can say this is all absolutely true. Only thing missing is to avoid Times Square, everyone knows that it's a tourist hell-hole with nothing to see.

[PavelMazniker]

@MrManFig

Hi I need to get a kind of official document from U.S. New York to show at my local U.S. embassy to get a good visa to U.S.

The document could be an official legitimate job offer with some watermarks from U.S. goverment. It can be sent to my place via email , file transfer - simple.

Can you make the document and send me man ? Then when I arrive to N.Y. we can conclude to meet and I'll help you too.

contact:stsht@ymail.com

[staystrongxxstarveon]

@MrManFig

I know right? Man, it's crazy over there. I love ny though. I don't ever want to leave the city<3

[Gatazzzable]

WTF this makes me not wanna be a born New Yorker :(

i dnt do any of that shit thats plain studpis

well maybe walk fast but the rest are stupid

[SnoweyMan111]

@Gatazzzable After being there I have to say it's true though.

[MrTank116]

@Gatazzzable EXACTLY!!! hahahaha

[Gatazzzable]

@MrTank116

yes it is stupid :)

[MRPIMP62]

i live on the west cost though

[beuatywatcher]

My dad is a new yorker and my mom is a total southern belle. Family reunions are interesting. . . . .

[werwer607]

this should be called "how to be Fake" step 1: watch jersey shore

[nycnena78]

I love this video. It's funny cuz it's mostly true. LOL. I no longer live in NYC but I still tend to wear black, walk really fast eventhough I'm not in a rush, and I still give directions that way. The only thing I didn't like was when the guy threw that big ol map on the street. We shouldn't be teaching tourists that it's okay to litter in NYC, the locals do enough of that. LOL. I LOVE NYC.

[Iwuzhere321]

Why the hell am I watching this? I was born in NY and have lived here my entire life

[allaboutdatGDA]

@Iwuzhere321 well good for you

[MRZMORRISON16]

im gona say houston in NYC WHAT NOW!

[SuperKiwiix3]

why isnt the tittle "How to be annoying in new york"

[gunzablazin1]

i like that coat dude was wearing

[Jasminshmashinhartsb]

haha is it rude yes, but it doesnt matter if your from New York! lol i love this.

[Jasminshmashinhartsb]

I laughed so hard when they said optional: a outsized ego!

[MAjYQSammi]

I do all those things already, and I don't live there. My dad used to, so I can fake the accent flawlessly. ;P

[Iwuzhere321]

@MAjYQSammi We have an accent? O_o

[MAjYQSammi]

@Iwuzhere321 Technically, yes. Everyone does! :D 

[kpslover]

Truth be told, there's stuff to do all year round, especially during the summer. They forgot one thing, avoid chain restaurants for dinner! I hate giving directions to the nearest applebees or TGIFridays to tourists when there is a real restaurant up the block. But seriously, no jaywalking if you value your life. Take it from a real New Yorker!

[thehelix27]

Im tired of pretending to be a Real New Yorker....I want to be a real New Yorker

[67tr876]

I lived in nyc all my life am nice to Tourists to bad i moved to NJ a year back my dad wanted a house. Tip for Tourists dont go to NJ its boring as fuck ! and the pizza sucks

[CuteWallflowergirl]

This was so dumb! i hope no one believes this lol but the whole thing about when your waiting for the light and inching your way into the damn street i do that! XD lol

[websurfer63]

wat new yorker dont noe how 2 say a adress. i noe

[LizzyMonster01]

haha if you pause at 2:47 he has a bald spot

[nothingsospecial]

Looks like I would fit in better in New York than I do in Jyväskylä (it's in Finland).

[sugizo88]

I'm not a Newyorker but I walk fast, dress mostly in blacks, I jaywalk, never give exact number when taking cabs, I'm always on my phone, I go to restaurants after 9 for dinner.

I should probably move to new york.

[Fullmetal1890P]

Here's another tip, pretend you have a new yorker accent, even just a little bit. It's easy to pick up hearing friends or people walking by so if someone says something to you in public, respond with a bit of a new yorker accent. It'll save your butt more times than you'd think, especially in the tourst area.

[grandexandi]

If I ever go to NYC, I will be the touristest tourist ever. I could only act like a local if, like a local, I had enough time to enjoy the city at a non-tourist pace.

[EverlastingCC]

I've been to NYC before. It was fabulous. Then again, I live in New York State anyways.

[richboy88]

I'm so going to do all those things,.lol

[officalzak]

Its good to visit any city during the holidays!!

[MrAhmedrocks234]

thumbs up just for randomness go chicken!

[Junjie890]

Thumbs up if you're a New Yorker.

[Jermz1997]

I will show up over there the way I alway dress Leather Jacket Black Jeans Boots with a Black Bandana or Black Dickies with black and white shoes with a NEON green belt and black shirt tucked in or just short enough to show the belt.

[updownleft8]

Who the hell would want to be a new yorker

[Ironmanissocool]

Now I want to go to NY.

[TheLostMyBrain]

Why am I watching this? I am a New Yorker...

[KidJake695]

@TheLostMyBrain Hi five me too

[kittymanmanson1]

hehe i didnt even know that crossing a red lite had a name, i just thought that was how to cross the street everywhere. Then i went to Canada.... i had to stand on the curb FOREVER!!!!!!

[lucychan101]

Omg it's howston? I've been saying Hyooston for the 9 years I've lived in New York. O_O

[Xcorgi]

They forgot to have you say "fuck you" or "go fuck yourself" while wakng around. Then you will realy blend in!

[asr8805]

yeah, this is pretty good.

ppl before they come here think we r very rude and not nice. NOT TRUE. we r actually very friendly. just dont get on our bad side :)

[purelle626]

so i should just look at a map on my phone. that way im not carrying a map aroun and i look like im checking my email.

[123nypd]

New Yorkers are Rude its fact; most of them live in shittty apartments want to get home or work and dont give a fuck a about a tourist in a I love NY T shirt.

[johnottr]

@123nypd Bullshit!!!! You are a fucking liar!!!!! I have lived in New York City all my life and would never live anywhere else. I and every other native New Yorker are always respectful of tourists and love to show off their incredible city off to visitors. Anytime you want to put this to a test you just let me know.

[123nypd]

@johnottr lol sorry about your loss of your buddies; I didnt mean to piss you off. :) FDNY

[kittymanmanson1]

@123nypd mehhh they are not shitty they're just small

[mimidhodho]

hey you make it look like new yorkers are anti-social, unfriendly people! if you are in new york, you'll see that new yorkers are the most friendly people ever and wearing black is classy, is it not? x

[paulrkid]

jay walking rules!!

[moran915]

THUMBS UP IF UR FROM NEW YORK XD

[lpgurlnj]

@moran915 My mom's from NYC...does that count?

[mayaaisabel]

HAHAHHAHA made me laugh so fuckign true wow we're embarrassing

[MultiRump]

step one: who really cares? noone's gonna judge you for being a tourist. new york has many millions of ppl, who's gonna focus on you?

[thezon]

LMAO



[nomisvoks]

how to be a real new yorker

(1) Be dumb

(2) enjoy

[kittymanmanson1]

@nomisvoks We have good schools!!

[Pundit2k]

An oversized ego is definitely mandatory for this one.

[nvhieu97]

We really dont mind tourists. We mind our own business and were not crazy rude

[maetosult]

How-stun, we have a problem.

[phrankus2009]

STEP 1 : Don't look "UP".

STEP 2 : Do not make eye contact (especially with those sitting on stoops).

STEP 3 : In unfamiliar hoods, look down .. look bored .. KEEP MOVING !

STEP 4 : Do not take photos, except with a cell phone or a DSLR, on a tripod.

... Summary: Look BORED TO DEATH, *ALL* the time.

[run1492]

@phrankus2009 Look BORED... Hey man, thats soo sad to hear ! I'm sure that's the biggest lie about NYC.

[phrankus2009]

@run1492 Fair enough ... "Look UN-IMPRESSED" is what I prolly shoulda said ...

... You just don't want to lock-eyes, in the wrong hood, or to have your head on a swivel and be gawking ...

... That is ... *IF* you do not wish to stick out and tip your hand. If you are with a group? ... sure ... get all wide-eyed and take bunches of digicam photos.

NYC is anything BUT boring and most homies are just contemplating the next party or date.

[DigitalOkami]

As a local New Yorker, I find this funny! Nice video. :D

[whatbarksdale]

do they know that people in nyc are not the only new yorkers

[phrankus2009]

@whatbarksdale

Yes ... Those people are also known as Victims (a.k.a. "Mugees").

[MyGurlz100]

this is very insulting to us new yorkers -:(

[racingheartbeat]

this is depressingly accurate lol

[Megabites46]

2:13 i thought he was the guy promoting Johnnie Walker lol

[InescapablePain]

some of these are serious, but this is one of those dumb ones

[Kocochocolate]

WOAH dude the guy had cingular

[ytubegmailusername]

Step 13: Hide your Camera & Video Camera.

Step 14: Never look up at the buildings, unless there is a fire or something.

Step 15:Run to catch the train and lean on the doors even though it warns not to.

[harrygoozee]

the title should be : how to look like a dickhead in new york

[Korbolts]

Follow these really easy rules:

-Be EXTREMELY rude

-Sag your pants

-Have a gun

YOUR DONE!

[StudioGhibliFreak1]

but I am from NY....

[ToOxSyCk]

@Shadedude100 LOL yup i was made(mad)

[teak43]

You know how I know you're a tourist? You've got your American flag t-shirt tucked into your shorts (goes well with your baseball cap) and you're strolling through midtown at a leisurely pace like there aren't 5,000 people behind you whose day you're slowing down.

[chandlerbingbong]

@teak43 Not sure about the fashion thing but we'll be strolling around New Yioke all week long, and guess what? ... we won't give a monkeys chuff how many people are behind us. lol.

[teak43]

@chandlerbingbong Nothing more touristy than disregarding local customs. 

[chandlerbingbong]

@teak43 since when has 'speeed walking' been a local custom?

[teak43]

@chandlerbingbong I dunno. Since monkeys started chuffing? Seriously, are you trying to say that walking isn't a matter of local custom? Because I think that's silly. I think if you go to a new place you should do your best to observe the local customs, whatever they may be. Then you're a respected and respectful visitor. If you willfully disregard the local customs, or take no interest in learning about them, then you're an obnoxious tourist and a figure of international disgust.

[chandlerbingbong]

@teak43 A person's walking speed has nothing to do with local customs. It has everything to do with how much time a person has to get from A to B. Are you saying that a disabled person would be scorned just because they may walk slower than a uber busy New yorker? If so, that is a sorry state of affairs. The things you're talking about are more to do with manners and respect.... something that an ever increasing number of U.S travellers are not particulary known for. Hugs!

[teak43]

@chandlerbingbong Of course walking speed varies. Midtown manhattan does not move at the same pace as Memphis, or Avignon, or wherever. Of course, if you're in a wheelchair or otherwise, different rules apply, but just not giving a damn about local customs is not the same thing as being disabled.

[majorposiden]

step 1: Be Stuck Up

step2 : Be An Asshole

[dangelgregz]

mostly true!



[riddick0846]

A good tip is to not trip in Time Square

[FairlawnOhio]

Chill with the complaints. If you go to NYC, London, Tokyo or Paris, all people from the major global cities act like this. They act like this because this is the lifestyle of an actual city. This is not a suburb

[lilamote]

i arrested new york over the summer oberlin amandacademy

[azzaz691]

i hate new york think they better than colorado not on my wach you will never out run us

[ToOxSyCk]

@azzaz691 colorado aint shit new york is one of the best when do u ever here about colorado never so stop suckin new yorks dick and go back to the shit state you live in

[gato123452]

@ToOxSyCk well your state will never pass California or Texas only NYC is the one place in New York that nice 

[ToOxSyCk]

@gato123452 first of all who represents texas no one so thts out the way and second where you come from yea so shut the fuck up and stay in your place

[ToOxSyCk]

@gato123452 oooo and i forgot to tell you this who the fuck asked this you for your opinion no one so why are you talkin really who asked this kid cause i would love to know

[Twdee2]

i'm in michigan and i had to visit my aunt in New York and this is exactly how New York people are, it's ridiculous.

[kermitek91]

@Twdee2 Its quite the same in the center of any big city, take Katowice in Silesia, Poland, you wouldn't expect it since you never heard about the place but oh well...

[Twdee2]

@kermitek91 fyi i'm actually quite familiar with both places.i've been to many bigs cities and know that the people act somewhat like this.but new yorkers are some of the rudest people that i've ever come in contact with,(no offense to the nice new yorkers reading this) next to you of course

[Abbytater]

Mmmmmm 'Nuts 4 Nuts'. My favourite.

[TheSim1derful]

Bahahha!

I've only been to NY twice (and both times were in high school), but there were a couple of times on both trips where my friends and I managed to ditch the group and wander on our own....and we totally tried to act like the guy in this video.

Whether we succeeded or failed is another story...

[stewie711]

If only they did a video like this about Rhode Island. A man can dream I guess.

[aerocrombister]

how is it rude to be on your phone if you're on the street and no one's walking with you?

[saie000]

nice hugo boss perfume cologne w.e i had it loved it 

[MrZombieslayer108]

Nice they just trashhered New orkers in less than 4:00 minutes :D

[SoftballAllStar01222]

lolWHO are we tryin to impress

[ssips720]

its okay to be a tourist..

nobody will think its bad..

we are not snobs.

[gothicchik52]

@ssips720 we know that but theres also things that are about where we're from natively.

like here in Alaska if your a tourist we're gonna scam you

[justfinger]

Yeah I have to say, as a New Yorker, this is pretty spot on. Be choosy with the street vendors though, know your guy. Otherwise delis are our safe havens. Dont wait on the curb! We know youre not from here when you do, dead giveaway

[tylerthecool6]

I love the nuts in nyc

[naumnn]

Cute video. During my first visit, I did stand on the curb (being from Orange County, California, I know that the police in this area love to ticket for stepping off the curb before the green), and waited for the light to turn. After a while though, haha, I noticed this wasn't the norm in NYC. They step off the curb at red lights with the attitude that oncoming cars had better stop. They always did too! I miss NY.

[skiracer110]

that guy is really cute

[Seyahhsod]

He forgot

1. stand in the middle of the street while the traffic tries to find a way around you instead of standing on the curb like a sain person waiting for the sign to say WALK!

(this is where the term "Greenwich Village Idiot" came from, Later shortened to "VILLAGE IDIOT".

[harrygoozee]

You will need:

Big Cock

[flarez]

three minutes of patronizing stereotypical bullshit

[Telstar62a]

"There are hardly any public bathrooms..." Feel free to take advantage of hidden corners, bushes in public parks, and gaps between buildings. Subway stops are located conveniently as well.

[Lovee2LoveeU]

Wow ... Im A New Yorker And I Do All Of Those Things Naturally =)

[21Dresses]

The guy reminds me of Eminem...

[Kelsey778912233445]

this is stupid gimme back four minutes of my life im from NYC and to me this looks like ur TRYING to act like a tourist......just look for the cash cab and ur good with money and you'll be a REAL newyorker

[ethanwdp]

In old NY there where porno shops. Greatest howto ever, howcast.

[wilpri]

Hilarious. I loved it. Oh so true!