Added: 2 years ago
From: healingwords
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  • Women don't pick nice guys. They pick the violent bad boys who they can't control. And the women could leave the bad boys at any time, but they themselves don't want to leave.

    So either leave or stop bitching for sympathy. You can't have both.

  • Thank you for your insights. My girlfriend has a father that neglected her as a child. She is suffering from depression and taking medication against it to be emotionally stable. Often she says "You're just like dad". I am worried about the nature of our relationship. It seems that I have to make all decisions. Also she does not respond will to compliments but thinks I am not honest when I say she is beautiful. Is there something I could do or should do to help her build more self-esteem?

  • women go back to abusive men because THAT MAN is one of the FEW in their WHOLE lives that ever made them feel loved. to be loved is a primal human need. if you dont get it growing up from your parents or some other dysfunctional reason then when you have it you will hold on to it with all you have because it TRULY is a matter of life or suicide and sadly sometimes it gets you killed by the person you love. so parents LOVE YOUR KIDS!!!

  • @sunsagleaming It's true we all want love and unfortunately we may mistakenly think that control and abuse is at least attention that substitutes for love. It takes a lot of strength and courage to leave an abusive relationship when all you have is yourself and you feel inadequate. You are so right that parental love is the best safeguard against becoming involved with an abusive person.

  • @healingwords i never thought of it that way...that putting up with abuse is at least some attention in a world that doesnt care if your alive or dead.

  • @sunsagleaming Many women, especially young ones mistakenly think that a guy who is controlling and focused on what they wear and who they talk to and is suspicious and putting them down and blaming them for everything must love them a lot or at least care. Often it's because he's afraid that if she feels too good about herself she will leave him so he makes sure to tell her how stupid and wrong she is.

  • I advise everybody to read "zero degrees of empathy" by Simon Baron Cohen.

  • give a lot of women a nice guy and she'll get bored... fuckin bitches deserve to be beat if theyre lookin for it

  • Some women are masochists ! That is why they go back to the wife-beater ! They love to get their asses kicked ! they are sick in the fucken head like all the queers and lesbians and retards in society .

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  • another reason is when you grow-up in that kind of environment, you are not taught to see abuse as what it really is; DANGER! you walk in head first for a way out and into a prison. when you get pregnant and realize that you are stuck when your abuser uses our legal system to abuse you as well. you see, i am a survivor of domestic violence. i have permanent scars on my body from it and medical records. it is truelly hard to escape, when your family HELPS your abuser. PLEASE email me with advice!

  • Are you kidding men are more guity . Thats like saying wemon are more guilty of all sin becuase of eve. We are all guilty of not telling each other I love You. It's not alright when you hurt someone I love in front of me. Or at all . love does not hit . Hit a wall . beat up a tree . You won't go to jail . O r hurt someone you love because you lost your temper. Yor aggression only shows the world you are small inside . Kinda like a big truck and a little man. Ha ha

  • sometimes i really hate men and i wish they would all die! exept for the nice ones.

  • @gaisensie , you are sick and you need help.

  • @kyokushinfighter78 oops. i ment mean '' people'' not men . i dont really mean what i say. it could have been a mom who abused the little boy and he grew up like that.

  • @gaisensie there are plenty of nice guys out there it's just most women are too

    picky these days and are brainwashed by celebrities on tv

    it's all about image these days the media is corrupting society on

    so many levels

  • @gaisensie There are no such things as nice guys... and if there is they won't be later.

  • @Eincrossfire 90%+ of guys are nice guys, but girls don't go for them. They only go for the bad boys. I've run out of sympathy for women. You pick the bad boys you want to be with and then try to complain to get sympathy also. Either leave the bad boy or stop complaining.

  • You are right, a man brought up in an abusive home and sees his mother being abused often becomes a perpetrator himself. This doesn't conflict with my theory of why women stay with abusive men. She may also have grown up seeing her mother abused. Growing up in an abusive environment is hurtful to children of both genders.

  • @healingwords, you are totally totally correct. This is also the reason why women prefer bad boy. It's emotional roller coaster that gives them satisfaction. I thought that only girl with low self esteem has this problem, but NOOOO..

    Most girls I know, who is intelligent, educated and succesful, are also attracted to  strong, controlling and sometimes abusive men.

  • @kyokushinfighter78 So haivng said that, can a girl who are attracted to controlling and abusive men be all "that" intelligent? Otherwise, a very intelligent woman would never be attracted to such abusive men.

  • what about the man being brought up in an abusive home, and they become the perpetrator,

    so ... your theory has just been blow all to hell

    my parents were no abusive towards each other, but loving and caring and nurturing.

    i am in a relationship with an abusive man, my god he is so abusive......what the hell is wrong with America....why can't America get a hold of this situaion once and for all.

    these men ( and yes women too) need to be put in prison for abuse,

    Men are more guilty

  • @getrealthen You're blaming America for your own personal decision to stay with a man who abuses you? You're also externalizing your anger to say "Men are more guilty." I'm sorry but you're incorrect in staying with him, you're incorrect to blame a country, and you're incorrect in saying that Men are more guilty. Love is a two way street whether you like it or not. Please don't freak out on me for being a man. I just strongly disagree with your analysis.

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