Chris Rock's Oscar® monologue

[PlatoTheForms]

hahahah 3:30 "you finally take over banana republic and you find out, they never made tank tops in the first place"

[hugejoint]

never heard anyone talking about 9/11 and had such a good laugh :))))

[japandajinx]

I love me some Chris Rock! He is so awesome

[energeez]

laundromat LOL

[maisag87]

This was hilarious! GAP joke made laugh like crazy...

[pinksharpiexxx]

He needs to host again!

[celomine1]

UR A MONKEY

[RaginBladesOFur]

it pretty much only pans to black actors haha

[TheWealthiest711]

First Comedian To Receive a standing ovation and a black one at that. What an Honor. Im Next.

[bombass2000]

Hollywood acts so professional at these awards. I mean, nearly every joke he made was a home run. Especially the last one...Check-Cashin' Place, COME ON audience!

[Mralbarni]

He is very loud.

[nishixxTW]

what did he say about Jude Law?

[MegJ108]

MARTY!

[twentyfstcentryRebel]

Hey Chris m8, I have a great idea for a comedy sitcom that I want you to co-write with me. Email me back at superpartyanimal1986@hotmail.c­­­­o.uk

[brookeb96]

@twentyfstcentryRebel you actually think chris rock is going to respond?

[sd12231]

@twentyfstcentryRebel ur a fucking idiot

[sd12231]

@twentyfstcentryRebel ur an idiot

[turtlehans]

lol @ p. diddy's face haha

[234313069]

@turtlehans P. Diddy is an idiot, I have no idea why he's at the oscars every year, and sitting upfront - sometimes I see people nominated sitting way behind him - wtf?!

[tomboy287]

@234313069 its nt only diddny - i guess if u have money u can do pretty much what ever u want in hollywood. lool

[FromCanadaYO]

and after that, check cashing place!

[romas1995]

yeah the jude law thing was stupid, but the guy is awesome !!

[25fitguy]

why with black people, does everything have to be black this and black that...

[TheEvilCouncill]

@25fitguy White people are default.

[ENiGMAofPURiTY]

@25fitguy First rule of comedy. Write what you know. And, get this, black people know what its like to be black.

[Searcheur]

surprised he didn't say fuck

[BigDTinyE]

lol camera panning around to all the blacks to get their reactions.

[silvestri98]

dislike. EXCERPTS? nah i cant find the entire thing online because some actors got their feelings hurt? boring

[MultiJanine93]

I relly dont like chris rock !!

[runawaydreamer996]

I applaud you Chris xD

[keerkhor]

Dude this guy is the black Dane Cook. Just cause you yell out obvious jokes with an annoying voice doesn't mean you're funny.

[silvestri98]

@keerkhor youre fucking retarded

[KetsuRosataMalnor]

@keerkhor We get it dude, you're not funny.

[theloveofrihanna]

@keerkhor he's funny,and that's a fact!

[TheSaraSKY]

Where can we watch the full 77th Academy Awards! Would love to know.

[SwordandHammer]

The old spice guy has been sent from the past to show us what Morgan Freeman used to look like

[sirchunkalot]

P diddy is such a dick.

[celle13celine]

I'm German.

and I can not really speak English.

& I dont even understand what chris rock said.

But I laughed.

: D

(Google Translator <3)

[JuanVoyce]

The jester has no clothes--this is unbearable.

[eragon3131]

0:12 "He mentioned black actors! QUICK, SHOW BLACK ACTORS!!!!"

[RickMitch41]

go to my page and watch my videos!

[jeepdude770]

dammn tough crowd

[anty123123]

should've been funnier :( 

[PiMpJV187]

CHRIS ROCK VERY SMART/FUNNY

[GetBennidover]

00:54 Kanye west: This niggah fuck imah deal with him

[TheLegendaryBobby]

@GetBennidover

That was diddy . . ..

[aheit33]

@GetBennidover haha you know thats not kanye right?

[tw1hart]

@GetBennidover that's not kanye west... that's p-diddy xD

[mackjeez]

@GetBennidover

That's Sean Combs a.k.a P.Diddy

[emantabrizi]

So hilarious! He made watching the Oscars bearable.

[Ashton0201]

omg its the zebra voice on Madagascar!!!!!!

[TheDoomare]

Every time I watch something with Chris Rock I time how long it is before he needs to point out that's he's black. This time....11 seconds, nearly a record!

Now I'm off to the shops to buy some milk and tell the people there that I'm Asian.

[super6plx]

this video is unique in that it plays regardless if I click the flaskblock button or not.

flashblock usually stops it from playing until I click, and this one just plays anyway! strage

[cutiepie4shurr]

"I should have just made supersize me, ive done the research!' LOL!

[tomboy287]

@Michele88232 no one is stopping them from doing so. 

[L0neW0lf616]

....So, um, that had absolutely nothing to do with movies or the oscars. I agree with pretty much everything he said, but he was there to host a movie awards show, not use it as a political soap box.

[Rell1388]

laundrymat and check-cashing place that shit is so true about black movies

[haute03]

@Michele88232

Oh shut up. As a comedian you pull from your experiences. Believe it or not white comedians actually do talk about white people in their stand-up! SHOCKER! Also, if you watched any black comedian do stand-up usually they're tearing other blacks a new one via jokes. Your ignorance is showing...you might want to check that.

[Hamgammy]

it's the Oscars, not a Bush bash Chris. No wonder you never got called back. Got to keep it relevant man.

[damon79]

He's just not as funny as he used to be. Take out the racist jokes and Chris Rock realy doesn't have much.

[Hreinn91]

Dont really care for that monologue : - /

[redshark618]

Yeah, he's not gonna rip on Bush. I still lol'ed.

[alphakid42]

Best part of any awards show ever if Chris Rock. The rest is worse than commercials, with it's stars having to read terrible dialog off of teleprompters.

[alphakid42]

Wish it was the last award show. These shows all stink.

[Shaun17170]

can't wait for "Check cashing Place 2"

[Honeypuppy]

he talks, i see a zebra... love this, laughed so hard!

[yondaime4000]

THIS IS SO FANTASTIC

[K1NGD0MDOWN]

Freeman FTW

[geiroffenberg]

im just so very very tired of chris rock.

[Etrajbe]

Its not only bush, realise its all controlled. the system gives the illusion of political power to the people, while they have none. tobad america is so brainwashed and has so many tards in it amongst the smart people. Its the same deal with Obama, if not worse than with Bush. Look at Afghanistan now.

[HLoveday01]

It's funny how he says 'The Gap', not 'Gap'

[RohRohToday]

I'd buy Morgan Freeman shampoo.

[lovejen01]

Moore didn't get nominated because lied about everything in that film.

[CoolerKing37]

@lovejen01 Actually, it didn't get nominated because he submitted the movie into the Best Picture category instead of Best Documentary and documentaries historically have a difficult time making it to the Top 5.

[Nicoloismyfriend]

"im not gonna bash bush" im not gonna bash him" (begins bashing bush) lol

[regulator619]

I love the hell out of chris rock, but when it comes to movies, that fool doesn't know jack. And this is why they never called him or any other comedian back to host the oscars

[osaji922]

@regulator619 Eddie Murphy might host this year hahaha

[FrankDOTtv]

@osaji922 Yeah but dont compare. Chris ROck has his good moments, his good jokes. But Eddie Murphy is a Legend. 

[CoolerKing37]

@regulator619 Steve Martin, Jon Stewart, and Ellen aren't comedians?

[mrexclusive28]

@regulator619 They never called him or any other comedian back to host the oscars again because they don't know jack about movies? I guess you don't know jack about the Oscars then seeing how Billy Crystal, Steve Martin & Whoopi Goldberg are all comedians and have all hosted the Oscars more than once.

[JH16]

My fav Oscar ever! Chris bout had me on the floor w/ the check cashin place. lmao

[MrBurgundy76]

too bad senn penn was a overly serious douchebag after he saw this. fuck senn penn.

[SnakeHouseProduction]

how much for one rib?

[EmmieTheDino]

I. Fucking. LOVE. Chris Rock♥

[softlyserenademe]

just listening to chris's voice makes you have to laugh. he's just funny every time he opens his mouth lol

[bwood21390]

Search Chris Rock Ron Paul 2012!!!!



[RonzerX1]

1:53 is that the cameraman that's laughing?

[MDCxThePG]

@RonzerX1 No, it was Chris Rock laughing.

[Epic13]

0:13 cut to: every black actor in the room.

Chris Rock is too good for the Oscars!

[hybridflare]

Best host ever!

[pekkle0724]

geez i wonder if chris rock will say the same "Gap" joke w/ Obama now ... bringing us all down w/ his irresponsible spending

[joekiddlouischama]

@pekkle0724 "Irresponsible"? Obama needed to try and clean-up Bush's mess, but he compromised on the so-called "stimulus." It should have been structured differently and nearly twice as large to create a greater effect with a lower unemployment rate. The problem with Bush is that he gave the rich two tax cuts around the same time as he waged two wars, expanded Medicare, and failed to veto a single spending bill.

[otrebla9700]

who is Jude Law, sean peen answered him jajajaja , is good jude

[Jeffo193]

If a white person had done the same monologue they would have been publicly destroyed :/

[junkhobokiller]

@Jeffo193 yeah sooooo...

[planetsareoverrated]

Two seconds into his monologue and he mentions race. Fuck off!

[popinjay3000]

@planetsareoverrated yeah well said, that grated with me too...

[nbaolafek]

@planetsareoverrated that doesn't change the fact that he is right

[Jdoug92]

HAHAHAH~

It was funny how quiet it was when he said the only acting going on is when they pretend not to be angry when they lose

[ShinLa83]

Imagine you work at the Gap!

[MrJudas666666]

he toned down his act for the oscars

[NeMiDrEm]

fuck bush u should hang that maafucka

[soberek]

Reincarnation of Pryor.

[1412Bunny]

LOL so funny!!!! XD

[tomboy287]

@DavenLouie7 hahahahaahahhahhahahaha there u go

[YourGodsAreImaginary]

XD



[beedotgeedot]

I remember Sean Penn playing tough guy on Jude Law's behalf. Of course that asshole would be offended by an Oscar joke.

[DoctorComics]

I'm waiting for Laundrymat to come Out!!!

[Supaduck0]

Why the hate for P Diddy? He's one of those guys who is cool even though his music isnt that good and he doesn't really do anything.

[surfinaway10afly]

yeap dem jigs be funny

[Notdicktastings]

p. diddy wasn't too happy about that source awards joke

[lerenna]

wow !!! how much do i love chris rock for his raw criticism .. He dares and that's what we really need much more these days again!!!

[toodietoodieomg]

I dont find Chris Rock funny...

[hotroddy97]

i would love to see him live he is the sh@t

[Richestmenlist]

GOOGLE this & you be surprised what you discover.

! Richest men and The Most Overpaid People !

[inittowinit3]

chris rock is hella funny.

[PepeTheKingPrownOK]

I'm sorry, buttt could anyone tell me, who is this amAziiNg woman at 0:20?

[CoolerKing37]

@PepeTheKingPrownOK Sophie Okonedo.

[kouayep0]

@PepeTheKingPrownOK she was in he movie "Hotel Rwanda" Her name is Sophie Okonedo

[FlyySexy]

@PepeTheKingPrownOK That's Sophie Okonedo

[GemmaMayes]

@PepeTheKingPrownOK sophie okonedo

[ItsSundayinAfrica]

@PepeTheKingPrownOK : it's Sophie Okonedo - she was nominated for her supporting role in Hotel Rwanda.

[firefox2007]

haha 0:51 "singing actin and shooting" ...cue shot of diddy

[2superfan2]

@firefox2007 HAHAHAH! Cue shot of diddy!

[SuperMIZZKEKE]

lol the made sure to put the camera on all the black actors.

[joekiddlouischama]

... check-cashing place ...

[Misri83]

Chris Rock is not funny and quite crude.

[FrankBlocc]

Sure, Chris Rock can be funny but why does he have to scream all the time?

[TheZombieJC]

@FrankBlocc Because it's fun.

[debi22]

Loved this but I coudn't get the Zebra's face out of my head.... :)

[ragingbull888]

I think they cut to one white person in the audience

[VietN123]

ROFL he finished strong.

[goknur1977]

I love Chris `Rock

[Allanlegacy43]

LMAO, funny as hell!

[MattGuitLead]

0:30 I love the ass ?! xD

[PAASNC]

LOL@ Toxic Tank Tops.

[kargomail]

lol it cuts to p diddy source awards dey singin dancin n shootin

[mrA991s]

هههههههههههههههههههههههههههههه­ههههه

[Casarzino]

what'd P. Doody doing there?

[GabezNsane]

@Casarzino "what'd P . Doody doing there?"

"What is P. Diddy doing there?"....Tard.

[kiranrambocus87]

@Casarzino He played in Monster`s ball i think he even got a oscar nomination for it pz

[MusicHallInc]

@Casarzino probably best soundtrack ?

[coolbrett]

@Casarzino Diddy does everything. You can't answer the question "Did diddy do it?" without saying "Diddy did it"

[happzy]

@Casarzino chillin

[blammyblam]

bush made the deficit horrible... but lord have mercy on the united states because obama has managed to almost double the deficit... can the united states ever elect a man with any economic sense?

[TheEvolvedMind]

@blammyblam Obama have not doubled the deficit. It's increased - yes, but the vast majority of it is still on Bush's hands. It's a common missunderstanding/lie due to the fact that they count from Obama's inaguration when Bush's budget was still in effect.

[amareto35]

@blammyblam So you think the Presidents rule the country or the minority wealthy elites ?

[CaligirlSofia]

@blammyblam i'd rather have double the deficit than a million innocent civilian deaths 

[RunDCM]

They edited out the why Hollywood couldn't make the Passion. They made 7 Police Academies and they can't make one Passion?

[toseeornot2see]

I remember when Michael Moore criticized Bush, after he won an award for Bowling for Columbine and he was basically booed. Now the same people that looked at him in shock are the ones cheering.

[disneylipstick]

Chris Rock is hilarious. Some people are just so tight up their ass.

[Nceron]

@disneylipstick I agree.....

[Fuckdisworld93]

how do u not like this? chris rock was funny as hell here

[OneWayRoad]

......now imagine you worked at the gap

[nemecka]

there is not a lot of funny moments, just politics and racial things. which is ok, but not for the oscars.

[royalfuschia]

this is hilarious!

[Huntington1234567]

I love Chris Rock... but he was awful as an Oscar's host. zzzzzzz

[BrunoandChloe]

BOOOOOO, get off the stage! (throws apple)

[OSTonTOUR]

@BrunoandChloe Throw APPLE??? NO!!! Throw a PC instead!!! I love APPLE too much to waist it!!! :-)

[TKManUTD1989]

people need to relax more, he was incredibly funny.

[66chopperguy]

always gotta be a white black thing

[iadf]

@66chopperguy you whiteys started it we gone end it lol

[Sully12BB]

@66chopperguy do you ever watch Chris Rock? he always does the black white thing, and it's always funny

[jaku12ify]

LOLD at Pdidy fake smile

[BIGGOODBOY]

boring....................



[CrashOverdrive4]

fucking hilarious

[colzimo]

rocky 5 is great,not the best of the rocky but still great

[duncan7599]

Chris Rock was incredibly funny describing George W. Bush and the Iraq war. My stomach is still hurting from laughing at this.

[o24Shay24o]

do any of yall notice how dey did close up on black ppl..

[o24Shay24o]

do any of yall notice how dey did close up on black ppl..

[o24Shay24o]

do any of yall notice how dey did close up on black ppl...wth

[falloutgirl902]

LOOOOL Johnny depp's face wtf so serious 

[falloutgirl902]

LOOOOL Johnny depp's face wtf so serious

[EbayEuron]

no acting at the oscars? Ha thats only because they are professionals and he doesn´t recognize them acting if they dont win :P

[TheKPiech]

Listen to the song "I'm an Island" by Kaz Piech!

[noonej]

1:41 I love Spike Lee, but what the fuck kind of stupid hat is this? Jesus Christ, Spike!

[Death4Life69]

They need to make the opening monologue rated R. I want to really bash people. I would be trying to make people so upset.

[Middlesexful]

welcome to the 77th and last academy awards! great idea

[ryanskapa]

un-fahrenheit 911

[Oldschoolrap91]

Man Chris is just great....absoulutely amazin'

[bazookababy]

That guy got some guts to do that=)

Thumbs up