I am so sorry for your losses. I have missed you here and wondered where you were, I will be honest on the funerals, I did not feel it was appropriate the reveal my atheistic beliefs and comforted the people in the words they wanted to hear.. I think that is a human thing to do. It wasn't the time to be all knowing and act as if I know because truthfully with the idea of Quantum theory who knows what really happens, maybe they pass on to a different existence? Hopefully happier!
sorry for your loss, nancy. the first one i went to after losing faith was for my then boyfriend's mother. his sister was a nun who insisted i do the rosary with them. it was close to an hour of going through those beads. since it was my first time doing that, i had enough anxiety going from one bead to the next to totally exhaust me and keep me from worrying about other things. ; ) your grandmother sounds like she was a really neat lady. i wonder if you counted the berries to make sure.
Nancy, sorry for your loss. Honestly, I from what I have seen, you just being you is enough. From what I have seen; your compassion and respect for others will always lead you in the right way. I couldn't ever see you as being offensive in situations like that. I can see fundies and certain atheists telling people "how it really is". Those people are extremists & tactless. The fact that you even make a video talking about this reflects how you really care about people and how they feel.
When my mother died 15 years ago, I was a fundamentalist and believed we would greet each other, love each other, share recipes with each other over the fence, in paradise. I grieved her departure and missed her passionately. But I thought I'd see her again. Four years ago my brother in law died. It was the first time I realized it was truly OVER. And to my surprise, I was okay with it. I didn't mention my atheism to other mourners, and that was OK too. Eternal life? I don't need or want it.
@Nanee715 ..Actually, I am surprised to say, no, I didn't mourn her all over. I think as long as I knew she was done with her life, it would be okay when it was my time to be done. Also, I am much more sensitive about quality of life, and I don't want any kind of dependent, pain-filled existence in my final years. I may have to move to Oregon, but I want to be able to have a say in when I have had enough. Of course this decision would be fueled by a desire to be free of pain and independent
Yep. During a funeral is not a time to bring up not believing in god. The people around you are grieving enough, and if believing in something even if it's false makes them feel better, I'm not going to be the turd in the punchbowl. Condolences for your loss.
@paddedshell I am sorry for the loss of your mother. No matter how old you are it is one of the most significant losses. My mother is 75 and shesays it is the worst loss shehas ever suffered.
oh so sorry that Grandmother died! She was a hero of mine in a way! The story of her in the nursing home watching the talk show is a classic story! To lose two family members so close together is very difficult and so sorry for your losses. Thoughts and condolences for you and your family.
I'm sorry for your losses Nancy. I agree that there is a time for everything. It is a difficult time to deal with the issues you mentioned, because it's not all about who's right, or who's tolerant, but more about how are you percieved by the people you love most, and how do you want or need them to percieve you. Nobody wants to tell, or remind a hopeful child that there is no Santa on Christmas. Your grandmother sounded like a fun person to be around, I see where you may have got it.
Funerals and death vigils can be emotional. i agree no point in trying to convince the relatives that there is no god in those situations. Although often times family members do use such situations to proselytize their faith.
If a person dies very young, then people grieve more because their potential was snuffed out so soon.If a person dies at 102, then instead of saying she had a good life, they should grieve for the loss of 102 years of experiences.We have souls, but they are the memories we leave behind in those who we touched or taught wisdom to & perhaps also in items a dead person owned, which call up a lot of memories. May you find peace in your memories of them, and carry that peace with you always.
I remembered the story you told about your gram-ma and watching the jerry springer show or something in the nursing home. 102 That's an incredible life. My condolences.
"Blow a bubble or just let`s go" Despite the seriousness of this vid you are still quite funny.
Experiencing my own remembrance of lost - 20 years ago halloween I lost my wife of only 4 months. 2 months in a hospital watching her die from a failed transplant.She was only 26. Our love, our memories for our beloved never dies.
I'm sorry for your loss. My grandmother lived to be 100 and I was no less striken by the loss than if she had died a younger woman. I've always thought that the old "she had a good life" comments were just another of the many stupid things people say when someone dies. Truth be told, if you care for someone you are never ready to say goodbye. Funerals are for the comfort of those left behind, so I think it's most kind to be accepting & respectful of whatever beliefs the bereaved have.
@MWKinkor I feel bad for people who say stupid things. They really just try to fill the awkward silence and don't know what to say. They should just be quiet. lol
In my family there are a couple morticians. As an extended family we go to many funerals. And in those experiences I have found that often just being there is all that is needed to provide comfort for family and friends.
Just remembering lost loved ones and sharing your experience with us is very much appreciated. Whether one is a theist or an atheist we all need comfort at times like this. It was nice of you to be there for those still alive.
I am so sorry for your losses. I have missed you here and wondered where you were, I will be honest on the funerals, I did not feel it was appropriate the reveal my atheistic beliefs and comforted the people in the words they wanted to hear.. I think that is a human thing to do. It wasn't the time to be all knowing and act as if I know because truthfully with the idea of Quantum theory who knows what really happens, maybe they pass on to a different existence? Hopefully happier!
Take Care
CerisePsyche 1 year ago
sorry for your loss, nancy. the first one i went to after losing faith was for my then boyfriend's mother. his sister was a nun who insisted i do the rosary with them. it was close to an hour of going through those beads. since it was my first time doing that, i had enough anxiety going from one bead to the next to totally exhaust me and keep me from worrying about other things. ; ) your grandmother sounds like she was a really neat lady. i wonder if you counted the berries to make sure.
heatherlynblue 1 year ago
@heatherlynblue Wow rosary bead anxiety. I wonder if that is in the DSMIV. Too funny. Yes we counted the berries. It was an on going family joke.
Nanee715 1 year ago
@FireWhisp Thanks I appreciate it.
Nanee715 1 year ago
Nancy, sorry for your loss. Honestly, I from what I have seen, you just being you is enough. From what I have seen; your compassion and respect for others will always lead you in the right way. I couldn't ever see you as being offensive in situations like that. I can see fundies and certain atheists telling people "how it really is". Those people are extremists & tactless. The fact that you even make a video talking about this reflects how you really care about people and how they feel.
verstehstmichnicht 1 year ago
@verstehstmichnicht Thank you for your comments, I appreciate them.
Nanee715 1 year ago
When my mother died 15 years ago, I was a fundamentalist and believed we would greet each other, love each other, share recipes with each other over the fence, in paradise. I grieved her departure and missed her passionately. But I thought I'd see her again. Four years ago my brother in law died. It was the first time I realized it was truly OVER. And to my surprise, I was okay with it. I didn't mention my atheism to other mourners, and that was OK too. Eternal life? I don't need or want it.
8journey8 1 year ago
@8journey8 Did you mourn the loss of your mother all over again, once you relaized you would never see her again?
Nanee715 1 year ago
@Nanee715 ..Actually, I am surprised to say, no, I didn't mourn her all over. I think as long as I knew she was done with her life, it would be okay when it was my time to be done. Also, I am much more sensitive about quality of life, and I don't want any kind of dependent, pain-filled existence in my final years. I may have to move to Oregon, but I want to be able to have a say in when I have had enough. Of course this decision would be fueled by a desire to be free of pain and independent
8journey8 1 year ago
Yep. During a funeral is not a time to bring up not believing in god. The people around you are grieving enough, and if believing in something even if it's false makes them feel better, I'm not going to be the turd in the punchbowl. Condolences for your loss.
SkepticsUniverse2 1 year ago
@SkepticsUniverse2 Exactly. Their grief was so profound. It would be cruel to take away that hope from them by imposing my view point.
Nanee715 1 year ago
geez old people are so deliberate. 8 blueberries. so endearing.
my mom died in may. no funeral. a memorial.
paddedshell 1 year ago
@paddedshell I am sorry for the loss of your mother. No matter how old you are it is one of the most significant losses. My mother is 75 and shesays it is the worst loss shehas ever suffered.
Nanee715 1 year ago
oh so sorry that Grandmother died! She was a hero of mine in a way! The story of her in the nursing home watching the talk show is a classic story! To lose two family members so close together is very difficult and so sorry for your losses. Thoughts and condolences for you and your family.
SisterSunnshine 1 year ago
@SisterSunnshine She was a hero of mine also. Thanks
Nanee715 1 year ago
@SisterSunnshine She was a hero of mine also. Thanks
Nanee715 1 year ago
I'm sorry for your losses Nancy. I agree that there is a time for everything. It is a difficult time to deal with the issues you mentioned, because it's not all about who's right, or who's tolerant, but more about how are you percieved by the people you love most, and how do you want or need them to percieve you. Nobody wants to tell, or remind a hopeful child that there is no Santa on Christmas. Your grandmother sounded like a fun person to be around, I see where you may have got it.
Antichryst666 1 year ago
@Antichryst666 I appreciate your commentsas always. You have always been so supportive of me.
Nanee715 1 year ago
Lol.... 5:40
Elenkhos 1 year ago
Funerals and death vigils can be emotional. i agree no point in trying to convince the relatives that there is no god in those situations. Although often times family members do use such situations to proselytize their faith.
KasparHauser5 1 year ago
@KasparHauser5 Right the best thing you can do is let them grieve the way they want to get through something so horrific.. Thanks Tom.
Nanee715 1 year ago
I'm sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you and your family.
prostiedvizhenija 1 year ago
@prostiedvizhenija Thank you, I appreciate it.
Nanee715 1 year ago
If a person dies very young, then people grieve more because their potential was snuffed out so soon.If a person dies at 102, then instead of saying she had a good life, they should grieve for the loss of 102 years of experiences.We have souls, but they are the memories we leave behind in those who we touched or taught wisdom to & perhaps also in items a dead person owned, which call up a lot of memories. May you find peace in your memories of them, and carry that peace with you always.
Untemperedsteel 1 year ago
@Untemperedsteel Thank you, I appreciate it.
Nanee715 1 year ago
all hope you find strength in these difficult times
audubon2006 1 year ago
Sorry about your loss, Nanee
geffel 1 year ago
I am sorry about your loss. I did enjoy the story about how many blueberries were in each muffin, The price is right.
Sounds like some fun memories to hold onto. Something that makes people special.
RedSmoky 1 year ago
I remembered the story you told about your gram-ma and watching the jerry springer show or something in the nursing home. 102 That's an incredible life. My condolences.
MrVisions 1 year ago
"Blow a bubble or just let`s go" Despite the seriousness of this vid you are still quite funny.
Experiencing my own remembrance of lost - 20 years ago halloween I lost my wife of only 4 months. 2 months in a hospital watching her die from a failed transplant.She was only 26. Our love, our memories for our beloved never dies.
Peace to you and your family Nancy
ModernDeism 1 year ago
@ModernDeism How did you ever live through that?
Nanee715 1 year ago
I'm sorry for your loss. My grandmother lived to be 100 and I was no less striken by the loss than if she had died a younger woman. I've always thought that the old "she had a good life" comments were just another of the many stupid things people say when someone dies. Truth be told, if you care for someone you are never ready to say goodbye. Funerals are for the comfort of those left behind, so I think it's most kind to be accepting & respectful of whatever beliefs the bereaved have.
MWKinkor 1 year ago
@MWKinkor I feel bad for people who say stupid things. They really just try to fill the awkward silence and don't know what to say. They should just be quiet. lol
Nanee715 1 year ago
In my family there are a couple morticians. As an extended family we go to many funerals. And in those experiences I have found that often just being there is all that is needed to provide comfort for family and friends.
Just remembering lost loved ones and sharing your experience with us is very much appreciated. Whether one is a theist or an atheist we all need comfort at times like this. It was nice of you to be there for those still alive.
My condolences for the losses in your family.
alowlyapprentice 1 year ago
@alowlyapprentice Thanks, for your kind comments.
Nanee715 1 year ago
My deepest condolences, Nancy. If you want to talk about it, I'm here for you. Hang in there
Christheatheist1 1 year ago
@Christheatheist1 Thanks Chris, I appreciate it. Right now, I am all talked out.
Nanee715 1 year ago