This Machine Pwns n00bs: A Song

[ravencarslyle]

THERE IS A DR. HORRIBLE COMIC? What is this madness and why has no one told me?

[iGwinnie]

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY POSTER! Sorry, I had a little freakout. Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance is the creator of The Umbrella Academy... :)

[NoRealRoots]

On guitar hero, I spent half an hour making my guitar say this machine pwns n00bs before I even played any songs. Best idea ever.

[squishy300]

I have "This Machine Pwns n00bs" written on my uke. I'm a dedicated Nerdfighter... yes.

[avandozer]

Fermi Paradox, but with different words. I think.

[363stargazer]

Where can I buy this song? It wasn't on the album. :(

[kfn93]

Flak cannon headshot?! Unreal tournament FTW!!

[JAMBO4358]

110 people don't think it pwns noobs

[JoshTheNESKeck]

Why wasn't this on the album?

[tannerharrodguitar]

how come you cant get on iTunes?

[Turtlesrossum]

SO FUCKING AWESOME XD DFTBA guys!

[RealisticShelf]

a shotgun sniper? O_O..that would pwn anything..

[ILiveForScience]

Hey Hank, what model is your guitar?

[vngaris]

Does this sound a little like the Fermi Paradox song?

[sarcasticpickle]

I have that cow keyring...

[guitarrahombre]

dude you should give woody guthrie a proper shout out 

[LikeVines2113]

@kalynina1 STOP

[VolunteerNerdfighter]

@LikeVines2113 You can also flag that as spam.

[watchstuff13]

most epic song evar. nerdfighters pwn decepticon n00bs

[dolphin64575]

Umbrella Academy AND Buffy?! DO WANT! 

[pbacken01]

1:13 Theres the classic Hank Green!!! I was thinking the song was waayyy too slow.

[leap4joytx]

i was bored.

[Lauraa4023]

Well if kinder eggs aren't sold in USA I'm glad I live in the UK!

[ADDawning]

Umbrella Academy!

[japanesepoptart]

OMFG THAT COW IS EAR RAPE

[KIS5TON]

UMBRELLA ACADEMY!!!

[ADDawning]

@KIS5TON You love it too?! Ahhhh!!!!

[hollisterseagullJS]

What's he talking about America has kinder egg surprises! I find em all the time!

[watchstuff13]

@hollisterseagullJS

he said he coundn't FIND ANY KINDER EGGS IN AMERICA

[minonofthetext]

canada, we got kinder egg surprises!!

[LunarSorceress]

Hank, we love you, but it took me way too long to figure out that you didn't INTENTIONALLY write this song with the music from three others.

And it doesn't exactly... have a tune.

[IronManMJC]

I want a super sniping shotgun whatever that may b

[mythmanjay]

Awesome, and How Awesome Was Created

[nokneegrow]

machine > noobs

[KevynTheNerd]

Indeed, Hank, this machine DOES pwn noobs.

Now use it on Bieber already.

[shellgirl97]

@oxPeaceLoveMusicox HI, what cd, cool for the necklace and I'm not grounded but I may or may not be on thin ice.

[gixxerguy10]

holy shit this is ear poison! they're swollen shut!

[thomasSrock2008]

woody guthrie?

[dean84921]

like this if throughout the song you kept expectin gto hear, "and thats the fermi paradox..."

[The0R4NG3]

I Can't Like This Anymore.... (Than I Already Do...)

[shellgirl97]

He got Umbrella Academy and Dr Horrible stuff.

[oxPeaceLoveMusicox]

@shellgirl97 I found your comment by accident. AWESOMENESS!!!!

P.S. hi

P.P.S. you left your cd at my house, methinks.

P.P.P.S. I have a new Sora necklace!!!!

P.P.P.P.S. how'd it go with your parents? are you really grounded? i feel so bad. :(

This song is awesome. :D

[girlwith2hearts]

i still love this song!!!!!!!!!!

[CupcakeRamenCoffee]

@cpateooo5

Yes i've declared that as well!

[SpikyChicky]

I decided, a vlogbrothers video game needs to be made. Hank's weapon could be his guitar.

[cynthiayl12]

@SpikyChicky done.

[gingersnap1212]

@SpikyChicky It is :D

[merksmirs]

@SpikyChicky and so it happened

[annathe3rd]

@SpikyChicky AND NOW ONE EXISTS!!

[kristinemarcotte]

@SpikyChicky And the special weapon bonus could be corn dogs.

[Vlogzftw]

Hank, the jumper you are wearing is the jumper you wear most frequently whilst vlogging, why is that? (It's an awesome jumper by the way.)

[ljlightfire1]

lol the advertisment was the google thing and i watched your google thing right before it came on

[AnnoraLoves]

Both yogurtland and in and out are excellent choices in regards to eating :D

I'm incredibly envious of the Dr. Horrible comic because I STILL haven't gotten it =/

Also, videos like these have me crossing my fingers that there are more (and single-er) men out there like you and John.

Because you guys are super excellent examples of the male half of our planet's population.

[wtfxxturtles]

That machine DOES pwn n00bs.

[AlyssaBee473]

I HAVE THE DR HORRIBLE COMIC! Its AWESOME! lol.

[cpate0005]

I'm addicted. I will meet you both one day. But not in a creepy way. Maybe a little creepy... :-)

[Brainiz619Enigma]

he only sings not playing guitar lol

i hate nerds so ass you/GET FRIENDS AND A GIRLFRIEND

[FFEEZZProductions]

@Brainiz619Enigma

Don't be such a giant squid of hate.

NERDS FTW!!!!

[HitaroX]

umm dude how about stfu and listen to his other stuff, and even in this song he sings while playing

[secretagentmann9]

ha ha ha. moron.

[timelordcreation]

@Brainiz619Enigma FYI he's married and he has 190,700 friends

[mitdylan]

Internet High Five

[ljlightfire1]

@timelordcreation ya go nerdfiteria

[KiraraLuver]

OMG DR. HORRIBLE!!!!!! <3

[AwesomeFlyBirds]

Love the end, when Hank's voice goes lower, I like songs that end like that :)

[lgnbrm970]

pretty good guitar playing the chorus is awesome too! VERY catchy

[GirlScoutGaBi]

There was a commercial on tv about a movie with Helen Hunt and every time it was on and the narrator said her name I would think of ur Helen Hunt song... it was so wonderfully annoying :)

[regularguy5mb]

Another awesome song!

And that is some amazing stuff.

[DragonLord19858]

you can get kinder eggs in America, you just gotta find a British Foods store ;3

[picklepants0998]

He always looks really drunk when he sings

[hillarysayshi]

the chorus is the greatest.

great job hank.

[aymyeyehurts]

Yogurt laand!!

[Achw3l]

If the world were full of nerds like this guy, the world would have been a wonderful place.

NERDFIGHTERS FUCK YEAH

[ninaelle2003]

@Achw3l would have been? it has the possibility to be as long as us nerdfighters dftba and fight against world suck!

[flothefish]

I dig your song. :D

Also! Your guitar is a parody of Woody Guthrie's "this machine kills fascists". Grooooovy.

[Evileekhoorn]

Cool song!!

[comihito]

Hank.... You can get kinder eggs in america... only downside, you must have a military id or somehow gain access to a military post grocery market place. we have them here >.> or at least when i was 10 we had them here if we do not, then i will be very disappointed, but i guess that just means road trip xD

[briannafucker666]

omg no way, that was the Umbrella Academy!!!!!! almost coolest comics ever.

[Silver1226]

Oh that was awesome. Next album right? Please?

Also, all your trips to Maine you haven't noticed that they sell them in the Public Market, in Monument Square, in Portland?

Isn't Umbrella Academy the one done by My Chemical Romance boy? I think I am jealous. That bag of stuuf is awesome, and OMG! Dr. Horrible comic books?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!

[mrmybuttisbig]

DUDE U ROCK

[BbaLLBoy727]

wow ur a queer

[Meitnerium109]

Better lyrics and a more interesting chord progression would greatly benefit your song.

[HazzaPistheDocsBFF]

Hank, I have both a purple version of the kinder egg toy in your right hand AND the mooing cow chain. And I live all the way over in Ireland (Granted I got the Key Chain in Canada but the Kinder Egg toy is from like, four years ago). This makes me hapier than it should.

[ljlightfire1]

notice the last star for rating a video says AWSOME! woot :)

[naterudolph]

I didn't know there was a Dr Horrible comic. Now I have to read it.

[Patchh09]

Nerds rejoice in this song. Keep making songs, even if only one person enjoys them and countless YouTube assholes tell you not to.

[sharkmen007]

this machine pwns n00bs ? what an insult to Woody Guthrie

[flamedoro818]

lolz i love tis song

[aphexjh]

you suck and this song sucks

[wrockinmaddie]

And You're Mom Sucks And You're Face Sucks!!!11!!!one

[hellishreignxx0]

that machine pwns horse shit

[Barrettfloyd82]

This is the worst song I've ever heard. Yeah...Go ahead and give me negative ratings for speaking my opinions. You're all a bunch of fucking losers anyway for listening to this shit. I'm never coming back to this page so I will never read your pathetic rebuttals. Good bye losers. Only pussies use words like pwn fail and n00b when they talk. It's sad people like you exist. Learn how to play that guitar before you make another video.

[InfernoPyro01]

um ya just pointed this out but u just use the words u said only pussies use.just thought ya want ta know

[lMugenl]

i feel you dawg

woo crack open a corona to

this for me

[SkepsisDub]

lol dude your tight

[B1ueCadet3]

Hank: I love you and I think it's awesome that you became a rock star by accident after your dreams of being lead guitarist of Mow And The Lawns had long been extinguished... but can you do me a little itsy bitsy favor? Can you like... learn some new chords? And maybe write some songs that don't sound exactly like 80% of your other songs?

TRUST ME i do love you i've been watching since brotherhood 2.0, but seriously... that'd, like... be nice. for my ears.

[TheGreatSquall]

Wow... I never knew I was such a nerd! Lol yay!

[onebre]

that buffy poster is awesome

[3eviscerated]

I love the MGS refrence my fav game

[rayefirerobin]

God, when you sing it gives me chills, I love you so much!!!

[lawlecha000]

This is my new favorite song in the world! You're great. (:

[TechXMarine]

you'd be good in a ska band

[TheRaijn]

No, the most nerdy dice is the 20-sided one. I have several. And a thirty-sided.

[animagusprincess]

I love that Catching Fire is on your shelf and is also the first book I noticed.

[barklikeachickenmeow]

Anybody else hear that first chord and wanna sing the opening line of What would Captain Picard Do?

[flyingpigs1197]

Was that a Sonic Screwdriver? Like from Doctor Who?

[iasonharper]

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit hank that dark horse stuff is awesome!!! dr horrible AND a buffy poster? jealous to the max. your next punishment should be mailing me that stuff

[allusivelunaticgnome]

you did look very intent when entering that Glendale parking garage. .. ... LOL

[danasmana]

WHO SIGNED THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY POSTER?!?!?!

If it was Gerard Way Imma steal it.

[JW41926]

What exactly does "this machine pawns nOObs" mean?

P.S.- I don't know what it means but want to learn; so hopefully I am a newbie and not a noob and the guitar is not talking about me; )

[iasonharper]

If you read John's latest book "Paper Towns," it makes a lot more sense. I would explain more but I'd rather you just read the book, 'cause it's awesome. :)

[WTFjasmine]

@jw41926 it's pwns like when you "own" someone at a game the word pwn originated from world of warcraft i believe? anyway n00bs is with zeros and it's kind of video game terminology so yep.

[KLProductions24]

UMBRELLA ACADEMY POSTER!!!! i love it!!! 3:35

[tvsuicide4]

I KNOW OH GOSH!

[MadZer0]

in n out ftw

[kylestreetkid]

u could be a star

[gsnfan11197]

lyrics?

[IIIBLAKEIII]

hahaha 5 stars!

[whatawittyusername]

it's crazy to watch through youtube the transformation hank has gone through as a performer. I vividly remember when he performed his songs as a punishment and now he obviously can't get enough of it, and neither can I. truly awesome.

[sharpielamp]

Oh hey, did i mention your a DucheBag.

[OfficialDanKuso]

Did I mention you are?

[dylan12234]

makes me think of Barenaked Ladies

[RaeynaFicst]

I just saw my school's rendition of dr. horrible. it was so much fun : )

[MechaNeko5000]

im in phoenix, technically scottsdale, and i live right next to a yogurtland it ROCKS

[iwanttobemrsquinto]

that machine totally pwns n00bs!!! awwe hank, your glasses always slip off your nose. :D i love it.

[FFEEZZProductions]

in-n-out lol. we don't have in-n-out on the east coast

[FFEEZZProductions]

You've outdone yourself again. congratulations

[tweakz10]

i buy kindereggs at a german restaurant in colorado alot

[thatkidmorganmariah]

yes, that machine pwns n00bs.

[kluther09]

god, hellboy was so bad.

[MCRmy0611]

OH MY GOD YOU GOT THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY COMICS .. i suggest you read them and soak in their awesomeness haha :S

like the song btw .. AND YOU SHOULD COME TO CANADA haha .. well toronto

[EvilPrincess424]

OMG!!! all that dark horse stuff is just so unfair. I want it.

If my friends saw me now they'd be dissappointed...

*whispers* they don't know i'm a nerd.

x

[nelbel91]

yogurtland<3333

[rrush2214]

i wana follow u on twitter... sorry ur bro has 100times the followers

[PrincessTinkerbells]

oh my god. you should come to florida. either u or john. i luv u guys and nothing ever happens near me.

[64moonshoes]

Definitely pwns noods.

[64moonshoes]

*noobs!

Can't believe I did that.

[Sousui]

Holy shiz! You mean to tell me that there is a new Dr. Horrible COMIC BOOK?

WHY HAD I NOT BEEN INFORMED?!

[MrsStephanieSnape]

omg... at 3:19 I titally thought it was a sonic screwdriver :'( but then I saw it again..

[lamarnza]

My friend has a cow flashlight. Did an Emily(about 13) give it to you?

I GOT A DUCT TAPE WALLET JUST LIKE THAT BUT GREEN FROM THE GIFT EXCHANGE LAST YEAR!

[lamarnza]

WHAT ABOUT ANIMAL SEX FOR THE SF NFS?

[tropicola100]

agreed, that macine does indeed pown noobs!

[ScubaGal024]

omg! I have the same cow mooing flashlight thingy too!! omg!!!

[spongah]

oh! your video was over 4 minutes long.. this is true because the video is at exactly 4 minutes the instant the clock hits 4:00 therefore any other instants past that are OVER 4 minutes.. so the only way to avoid making a vdeo over 4 minutes is to end it by 3:59.. sorry you get punished again!! :D

[prongslover77]

This song is awesome. and yes you do pwn noobs

[mcsleeezy]

what a waste of a life get outside

[renagade676]

Then what are YOU doing here?

[OfficialDanKuso]

*Irony*

[dodgycupcake]

your videos make me happy :)

i love being a nerd.

[piapiabee]

Yogurtland!

[spinafire]

"A super sniping shotgun and it's body armor too"

Haha! Awesome!

[popcornchickendude]

we have a musician and a writer brother team duo. MAKE A FUGGING MUSICAL!!!!!

[kiwigirl793]

This really random but I happened to notice that The Book Theif is on your shelf, and i'm reading it right now and it's REALLY good!

[bilbobrandon45]

i love markus zusak, his book "The Messenger" is really good too.

[JadieJamboree]

baaah. I want that umbrella academy poster .

plznthx. <3

[tim122911]

you can buy kindred in america. i buy them all the time. polish stores. of corse

[tenteon]

How can Hank talk so fast...and I still understand him?

[ultimatevet]

that is halarius

[runnyonions]

i have that kinder toy

[BookishBirdy]

omg THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY! I'm so jealous!

[charlielives4ever]

I have that cow key chain!

[ANproduction]

You don't know how jelus i am at you about the darkhorse stuff! (i cant even spell right cuz' im that jeulusssssbkjbdjalsnflksam) haha <3

[sasukerox24]

this machine pwns noobs!

XD

[jmthetank]

Careful, Hank. You haven't even done your latest punishment, and already you come perilously close to deserving another!

[GranFury440]

Oh and to all U bastards who rated me and barberfloyd88 down with ur cowardly little shut people up and control tactic thumbs down bullshit. barberfloyd made a fair comment. He doesn't hate Hank or even nerdfighters and yet U assholes rated him down because he simply agreed with a little something I said... all because I'm a nerdfighter "hater." Ur all fucking cult member assholes who pretend to B politcally correct so yull B accepted so U can feel U BELONG and fel safe in big numbers like sheep

[Mystrymeat]

Anger management much?

[German4footg]

GranFury440: ooooorrrrr....... People find needless accusations annoying. And don't swear, no one will take you seriously.

P.S "fucking cult member assholes"..... really??? I am not a nerdfighter, but damn you are offensive and base.

[GranFury440]

@ German4footg. Um 4 foot? Why? Do you have a foot fetish or something. weird. Just joking. Anyhow No nerdfighter or any so called modern politically correct suckass takes me seriously anyhow. If I swear or "cuss" and nobody takes what I say serious, it isn't because of the swearing it's because they CHOSE to disagree with what I said and use the swearing as one of their excuses.

[German4footg]

Not really.... I would reasonably hypothesize that if you were more logical and explanatory in your arguments instead of trying to just yell at people, they might take you seriously. I would argue that most "nerds" like a balanced and reasoned debate, not a pointless flame war.

And attacking someone's name is stupid... I'm short, the nickname originated in middle school.

[GranFury440]

I really didn't attack your name. It was a joke. Anyhow the nerds here do not like balanced arguments, they like to out number me and get what they want. THAT'S why i don't likt ehcult like nerdfighter "community."

[Culexable]

I AM IN YOUR BASE! STEALING YOUR COMICS!

Actually, how much would you part with that Umbrella Academy poster for? Would five stars be enough?

[videolizzard99]

Wait... Dr. Horrible has a comic?! What am I doing on the computer, I need to go to my local comic book store and beg for the one they keep in the back room, because we all know they have extras in the back room that they're not ever going to sell us! :o

[monster4urthoughts]

i don't get it...

explain please!?

[hollabooiers]

This machine definitely does pwn noobs. :D