@LDDCollector I was anorexic while also having purging symptoms. Anorexics are subject to just as much danger as those who suffer from Bulimia, arguably more...in some cases.
@LDDCollector LOL! fauxilimia does not exist. once you make yourself throw up once theres no going back. you will begin to spiral down the neverending hell of bulimia.
If you were anorexic for about 6 years, then you would not have a BMI of 30 unless you were forced to eat more and more. This story is flawed in so many ways. Scaring people out of anorexia like this is a dumb idea. It won't make them feel better about anything.
@nnnnnnhhhhhhhhh People switch eating disorders or present with more than "one". I have also met the criteria for bulimia and probably COE though I've never been d(x). If you really want to know the whole story and get where I'm coming from you'd have to be a lot more open minded. You're right it is rare for an anorexic to go to a bmi that would be considered overweight. Not unheard of.
@beautywithin85 Only 50% of children who develop EDs "fully" recover. 10% of those who don't fully recover become overweight. To me it's a better alternative to dead which is what happens to another 10%. Really? If you're up for some unsolicited advice...just stop being so judgemental. There maybe more than one purpose to the video, there maybe more to my story that you'll never know. Life is a lot easier and less frustrating when you stop judging.
Then if you switched, it'd be better for you to say that you've been switching between eating disorders for 6 years. And I'm a very open-minded person. I let people believe what they want and don't force my opinions on others. At least I try to. I'm only being honest.
@nnnnnnhhhhhhhhh At the time the photo/photos were taken I had not yet "switched". At the time I had made the video I had been in the "switched" mindset for less than a year. It doesn't matter an ED is an ED and it still ruins your life.
This comment has received too many negative votesshow
your disgusting. i cant believe you made your parents suffer through this and probably made them pay a fortune. you make me fucking sick and I have an eating disorder. i cant believe you would make it get that out of control. your hopeless and you will never recover. disgusting and worthless
@ClythiaMystica Excuse me??? I've learned not to judge people until I have all the information. First my parents aren't perfect, they're really really far from perfect. My childhood would make you cringe. Second my govt pays for my treatment, the only thing you're correct abou tis that I should feel incredibly guilty if my parents had to pay out of pocket., third the nature of eating disorders means out of control, and fourth I really could care less what you think.
@ClythiaMystica Um yeah it was...& I'm working at changing so that the rest of my life doesn't end up having to be like the first part of it. I don't really care that you don't believe I'm working at or capable of recovery, I & the people around me who matter know that I am.
I have an eating disorder, and granted it's not anywhere as bad as yours, I still go to bed at night after puking so much thinking I won't wake up. I still look at around 400 calories as a binge. I know my health is at risk and I could possibly die, but I just can't stop. I just need this in my life. I also self-injure. For me...it's about control. It's punishment. Anyways, this video is beautiful and eye opening and I wish I would have seen it before this mess started.
Sorry, but your story would have been encouraging to get out of my ed except for the fact that you're overweight now. I hate it that every person I've met who's recovered from eds is overweight. It doesn't look good to me, I'd rather die...
@nfrl yeah I don't look overweight though, to most I look cuvy and athletic. I know what the feelings like though. I always swore I would kill myself at the weight that would put me equivalent to a bmi of 23, and then 29.5...but it didn't. I know a lot of girls who have recovered from eating disorders who are not overweight.
there's atleast 10 of us at werfreedomfighters ...check it out.
What about all those who AREN'T medically overweight and don't need an ED to achieve that? Shouldn't THAT be encouraging for you? Making excuses for perpetuating your low self-esteem and subsequent ED isn't something you should treat lightly.
Stop thinking in extremes; being unskinny doesn't mean you're fat! Maybe I can't "relate" because I'm ED-free, but it sucks to live in a "modern" society where women are so flimsy, in will, mind, and self-image. Now THAT'S discouraging....
Anorexia isn't even really a wish to lose weight- it's about wanting to vanish from everyday life, wanting to escape, wanting to die even. They usually know they look like shit with hair on their body, protruding bones and grey skin, but what they look like isn't important any more.
Wow. This is the single, most powerful & deeply frightening video on eating disorders and their consequences that I've ever seen on You Tube. I had an eating disorder in high school and then relapsed three other times, nearly dying. Like you, I have to take pills before I eat, or the food doesn't go down. I fervently hope that any wannarexics watching this will get it: Once you are caught in its grip, eating disorders never completely go away. Thanks for posting I'm glad you are recovering.
@lonelyheroine I hope you are well too also? And yeah the consequences of an ED truly last forever, and it's really a shame that people don't get that.
@fatfac3 nah it's not a problem. I've never directly paid for any of my hospital care, all of that is covered by govt and through taxes that we pay (I live in Canada). The only care I've had to pay for directly is therapy on an OP basis and some of that is covered. I'm very fortunate
@mininina100 no worries....try to find someone to talk to, stay engaged the eating disoder's worst enemies are others who enjoy and partake actively in a life that is healthily busy and socially active. Take care of yourself, you deserve better.
wow, i admire you for your strenght, i'm sure you'll win this illness. i'm also in recovery right now of an eating disorder, keep fighting, you're beautiful the way you are!
Very inspirational video. I mean inspiring girls to stay strong and healthy and not fall into this heartbreaking and dangerous life style. All the best to you x
i critised one of your other video's but after watching this id like to take back what i said. if you can find a way to laugh at what you've been through then good for you. it's good that your showing ppl the reality.
wow theres a bunch of retards trying to attack you over dumb crap. I bet they don't even know what they're talking about and probably aren't nurses... anyways
I wish you luck. I don't really know how I found this video. I was watching a dinosaur and pig video then somehow ended up here. but you really should go public with your story. Like go to some high schools.
LOL. yeah not much about dinosaurs and pigs in here...I'm thinking maybe of doing something along those lines...I want to go into medicine but not EDs directly but family med, possibly work on a college campus part time.
And yeah there seems to be a lot of retards in the world.
One doesn't need a gallbladder? Yeah they're not going to die without one but if we didn't have a use for it they'd remove it at birth woldn't they...?
I feel like screaming, oh my god. Completely devestating. I'm anorexic...You're so strong for working at recovery. Inspirational. Maybe I can get there one day. Some day.
I figured due to your psychiatric history you'd be delicate on this matter, and you should be, but don't take me up wrong when I'm not attacking you. I wish you luck with your recovery, and in your nursing/medical career. Hopefully you'll gain a bit of objectivity by then, cos believe me, you'll need it
I actually do have quite a bit of objectivity with regards to most things medical, I've worked extensively in long term care where I had planned to become a nurse (but then decided against) and I do know what you mean about objectivity, altho i'm not sure I'd call it that more of a removed sort of all encompassing perspective on the whole deal. And I do realize that your not attacking me, other wise I would not have continued to respond to you. I'm more then my psychiatric history the (cont..)
and I to be quite honest am responding with more of an emotional tendency rather then the logical one I generally try to embrace. (ie I realize that I am coming across as extremely sensitive)
However I would prob decline from saying things like I don't mean to be an ass hole but...and that I am overly dramatic it just doesn't sit well even if I am not delicate about my h(x) , also with all due respect (I actually do mean that as I've said things that could be perceived as inflammatory cont
And you have responded in a way that I respect definitely...I would like to perhaps suggest that as a nurse in your 20s you may know a great deal about clinical practices, but could learn a great deal,as much if not more as a result of experience which perhaps you don't have as much of..I know that was definitely the case for me in clincal rotations.
...that and take care. Really ...no hard feelings. If I could see you and read your body langauge and expression I'd be more convinced that perhaps your choice of wording is wrong or poorly thought out and that you really truly are the type of person suited to this profession. And I still do respect you. I mean I was in in long enough to realize nobody comes out of this nursing thing alive unless they're a good person.
I was simply saying that the gallbladder is essentially, a non-vital organ. I'm not insulting you or your situation by staing a fact. I'm not a psychiatric nurse, I'm a general medical nurse, thus I think of things ina clinical and matter-of-fact way, something I'm sure you're familiar with at this stage of your degree. Also, please don't tell me what I 'subtly imply' in my responses to you.
I was simply giving my professional opinion, I guess that's the difference between having a nursing degree, and having a good chunk of one. I'm not promoting an eating disorder at all and no I didn't take 'that oath thingy.' With all due respect to your circumstances, if you want people to believe you maybe you should tell the truth rather than make everything more dramatic than it need be. Most wannrexics think they'll never actually get any of the consequences of anorexia anyway
So heres my opinion as a "professional" patient (yanno b/c I overly dramatize everything and spend my life in hosptials) you must be a terrible nurse if this is any indication of how you behave with your patients...with too much bile being released into your intestines (yanno b/c the gallbladder stores it) you are prone to bouts of diarrhea if you don't consume enough fat. Yes it is rare, and no it hasn't happened to me all that often. But its like tonsils it's useful it serves a purpose cont...
and provided that there is nothing wrong with it it should stay in there. Therefore gallbladder=uselful. Last time I checked the removing parts of the body just b/c they weren't "necessary" was a practice of the middle ages. I wish I had over dramatized everything in here, to imply that I have is kind of instulting and quite invalidating.
Oh btw...when you start off w/ "I don't mean to be an ass but..." it subtly implies that you do but you want a way out of it if its conveinent. cont...
mind you I haven't been hospitalized in like 4 years (other then the appendectomy) so it's a good chance that my "professional" patient opinion is probably out of date, so take it with a grain of a salt and assume that I've been overly dramatically with that also.
didn't say necessary, said useful...that I still maintain, btw have a good chunk of my nursing degree also.. but way to go about minimizing the physical consequences...its a good think you didn't take that oath thingy, b/c clearly minimizing consequences of ED (fatal or not necessary) is a bit of a conflict of interest when it comes to the promoting a healthy lifestyle thing...
@mcdermla That may be true, but all surgery (including removal of the gall bladder) poses some risks. Things can go very wrong. It's not unheard of that a patient inadvertently gets too much anasthetic (sp) and never comes out of it. I won't regale you with scary examples overload, but you get the message. (I hope).
@lonelyheroine yeah even though it's not considered major surgery it's still done under general anesthesia which poses risks itself we're also forgetting that the gallbladder does serve a function...not a vital one true but I can assure you there are many people who have had their gallbladder removed and bc bile is no longer being stored for digestion but made on the spot experience digestive problems
This is a truly amazing video. I don't have an ED but I've suffered from depression for some years now. A lot of people don't realize it, but a lot of the feelings of anorexia and depression are the same thing. Thank you for posting this, because you even helped me think more positively. I hope you're feeling a lot better now xxx
its sad when i (an anorexic in recovery) watch this, i dont feel like this would have stopped me from pursuing my selfish need to be skinny around 3 years ago when i started this. i in no way chose my lifestyle but i did know all the dangers, all the tips, the tricks, but i went ahead and did it anyway. it makes me sad that there are definately other people that look at this and think "so what? i dont care" but also, the fact that people actually say that they want to be anorexic. great video x
I have an anorexic/bulemic friend who has all these food allergies now. I'm glad you're recovering. This video made me cringe, and I'm glad it did because I needed the slap in the face.
I'm sorry your having trouble...and its so weird there's a lot of us like that...Bare inmind also that I'm willing to praise and congradulate on your accomplishments the same way I like to challenge ppl to see the truth...
this probably happened because you weren't smart enough to drink water to keep yourself hydrated and didn't take vitamins to help with your electrolyte imbalance issues. im sorry this happened to you, but if you were educated you could have prevented it.
Are you actually trying to suggest that purging is harmless?
While I totally accept that there are some precautions you can take with regards to maintaining proper electrolyte balance (mainly don't purge), you are kidding yourself if you don't think your harming yourself.
Btw vitamins are not responsible for electrolytes. Minerals (such as Calcium, Na, K etc) are what we refer to as electrolytes. Vitamins for the most part have very little to do with electrolytes.
Btw I am educated. I'm eligible to go to med school next year and I have close to half an RN. Infact at the time of this electrolyte imbalance I was in nursing school. I really has very little to do with education, and far more with the fact its a really bad idea.
This video I really liked (ie no mixed feelings), it puts the reality of the disorder on display. like I said in my comment on one of your other vids, I've had an ED for ten years... I could make a vid just like this listing all the horrid health issues and things I've lost to my disorder. It's sad really... how much one can lose due to self hate. ps. I to am in recovery... It's a rough ride but I'm sure it will be worth it in the end.
then you are headed to becoming very very sick. You need to get help. It's okay that you need help but it is not okay to lose weight this way and enjoy it. Something is very wrong. Plz take care
thanx and was...not so much anymore...too many challenges tha my body isn't up to anymore but I was def headed that way. I still swim just not half as much or at that level anymore =)
Both are awesome! But def don't make my mistakes!!! Totally appreciating loves and hgus lil sis...where's your tuesday encouragement video? lol. Ah maye I'll start some in the new year...
this is an amazing and inspiring vidoe. i am so close to tears. you have been thru so much! but remember hunni, recovery is possible and if you keep going with the recovery i assure you that you will be doing something you thought you never would in two years time
yeah I already am thanks hun. I never thought I would ever be able to consider going back to med school again but I now have most of the pre reqs, belong to a premed society, and am planning on writing the MCAT. A couple yrs ago it was my goal not to live on disablity forever.
So yeah I know its out there, and you encouragement means the world to me. Just coming to terms with loss can be hard.
Keep yourself strong and safe! great video for shows to all those stupid girls that want to learn how can become sick , not telling u that u are stupid I mean girls that want to be sick maybe their lives are so boring that need to ill for get attention..thanks for your video!
there isn't a number large enough in the world to represent even the worth of one of us...I'm saying that really struggling to believe it but it doesn't make it any less true :(
no problem. its never gross for me. i like everyone the way they r. the only type of ppl i cnt stand r show offs n ppl who think theyre always right, 24/7. i like you :-) i think ur genuine :-)
wow wow, such an amazing video. I'm on the other end, having gone from 98lbs to my current of 140lbs. I'm struggling with that to be honest. Even though a lot is muscle. I do want to burn off the fat to show the muscle. But the only way I know is the purge/restrict way... and i'm trying to convince myself to trust my body and all I know about nutrition but it's hard! thanks for vid
idk if ur goin to replay but i was wondering i now for a fact that if one doesnt eat they loose water weight, but my question is if one drinks enough water everyday ur electolytes will remain in balance ....so this wat u can keep hunger off n maintain balance of electrolytes --- Is this possible??
I dunno hun still figurin that part out... But chances are your body knows better then you do and if you make a mistake its not the end of the world. I like this vid too its one of my faves!
whoa,it's shocking that you survived through all that..no wonder that anorexia and bulimia can do.. O_O" oh i'm soo happy for you ^o^ btw is your b.m.i now 30??
um right now its about 29.5...I compete as a swimmer at a national and provincial level while training its about 30.5-31...if i get much lower then that then I lose the mass and strength required to swim at a half decent speed....I wear normal sized clothing that I buy at regular stores, and my suit for swimming is a size smaller then when I was training 3 yrs ago...The whole point I was trying to make is that numbers like HDL, LDL, BP, are better indications of health then wt and even bmi.
Whoa i thought you were tlaking about bmi..are you??O_O i didn't knew swimmers needed to hae that much b.m.i =o.. here in h.k they say 23 is overweight =/ [[but i dont think so.. bahh anyways]]i'm sure you're not really talking about b.m.i.. and sorry for asking annoying questions,anyways i hope your lfie will be filled with happiness
no problem...and yeah I am talking about bmi...I weigh about 200 lbs right now and at 5'9'' thats where that puts me..in candada overweight is anything over 25 or 27 depending who u talk to...there are other factors contributing to a higher bmi then normal (scoliosis-curvature of the spine)-I'm supposed to be a couple inches taller, that and my long bones stopped growing while I was sick...but yea I'm talking bmi...most ppl inc doctors don't believe it
*coughs*.. well ed.. i should say!but i'm turning to 14 next month.. so hopefully i'll grow taller.. cause i recovered.. but not completly there was days when i get really down *sighs* anyways best of luck *kisses*
Don't know if I'm anorexic, but I find myself headed that way. Thanks for the great video, I'm sorry you went through all that, but at least you survived. Maybe it will convince me to stop before I get too carried away. I don't know... Thanks :)
Yeah I'm thinking about it we have an org in ottawa that pairs recovered anorexics with those starting recovery...They ask you to be pretty much symptom free for 2 yrs tho, which I'm still working on I'm afraid...It's a goal tho.
I wish u all the best, really, respect for telling your story like this!
I'm not anorexic but I have anorexic thoughts mixed with anti-anorexic thoughts. It started with a diet and I lost 10KG in one month... I was obsessed. But I'm strong and I was able to stop. But I still have the thoughts...
You have NO idea how much I RESPECT you for realizing that your on a slippery slope and doing your best to fight them NOW rather then waiting until your body is so broken that you have that to deal with also...I don't know if you have anyone you can talk to but yeah keep talking the more we do the less the thoughts control us. Hang in there. I admire you more then you know.
Ah don't be.. it's made me who I am... and I like it now...Thank you for appreciating it tho... a lot of ppl seem to think I make it up or something?!
lol...no offence but i don't need anyone telling me what i do and don't need...i need to achive my goals and that's exactly what i'm going to do...i'm strong enough to handle whatever comes up...
"gaol-what-ever" we do not need to know what yur goals are either but yu still write then down. So, aply the same rule to this video. Go and take care of your stupid goals. You as all anorexics are super-defensive, but then you are all mentally ill
I just saw this (in a fit of insomina) and I think its super ironic and kinda neat goal= gaol the way u wrote it (tho prob not intentionally)...which is jail in old english. cool huh? cause living in this is certainly living in a prison
great vid. i hope you manage to get through to just one person. everyone is beautiful in their own way - im glad you highlight that it doesnt always have to come down to the bmi/weight of someone.
If someone is "wannarexic," there's a lot wrong with them. It's like trying to scare people away from suicide by telling them they might die. I liked the video, but it's judgmental. A lot of people who are depressed, etc. starve just to see some sort of "positive" result to the mental pain (actually, I've done this). That's different than saying or trying to be anorexic, but I think it's where it starts. It's good to warn people away (aka like don't try drugs), but others' issues aren't invalid.
I find it interesting that you seem to be the first of like 12 ppl to get that message. I absolutely agree that someone who feels that their life is so out of control they need and ED needs help. In fact that is what i'm trying to point out (did u actutally watch the whole thing)? There are many consequences, getting help now is the best idea
as for judgement and invalidity of/for others...I have no idea what the heck you are talking about. I invite you to msg me.
aw you guys are awesome...I thought that I would get a whole bunch of comments like quit whining, pity party, you deserve it blah blah...btw I posted something to the tuneof this comment about an hr ago but it didn't take for some reason.
seriously though as much as i love your usual videos this time you seemed to actually accept that you matter and what you PERSONALLY go through matters. if this is whining then im gona tell alot more people to whine!
thnx, i'm getting there I just get scared cause sometimes there are so many ppl struggling and I'm afraid I'll be one of the only ones in the end. It' doesn't have to be that way.
ah, don't be too sorry I'm doing really well, and its made me who I am today...strong...the body is just a little broken :(, But its resilient too, not invinvible I learned, resilient tho
well im glad to hear you are doing better. This is a great video and i hope more people see it esp the "wannarexics" outthere because they obviously have no idea what they are getting themselves into. xoxo!
Thank you for posting this. I really hope you manage to beat this awful thing once and for all and be happy x
ecureuil85 2 months ago
But...None of this was about being anorexic. It was all bulimia so surely this is a quick fix for fauxlimics as they are so called.
LDDCollector 9 months ago
@LDDCollector I was anorexic while also having purging symptoms. Anorexics are subject to just as much danger as those who suffer from Bulimia, arguably more...in some cases.
beautywithin85 9 months ago
@LDDCollector LOL! fauxilimia does not exist. once you make yourself throw up once theres no going back. you will begin to spiral down the neverending hell of bulimia.
ClythiaMysticka 8 months ago
If you were anorexic for about 6 years, then you would not have a BMI of 30 unless you were forced to eat more and more. This story is flawed in so many ways. Scaring people out of anorexia like this is a dumb idea. It won't make them feel better about anything.
nnnnnnhhhhhhhhh 9 months ago
@nnnnnnhhhhhhhhh People switch eating disorders or present with more than "one". I have also met the criteria for bulimia and probably COE though I've never been d(x). If you really want to know the whole story and get where I'm coming from you'd have to be a lot more open minded. You're right it is rare for an anorexic to go to a bmi that would be considered overweight. Not unheard of.
beautywithin85 9 months ago
@beautywithin85 Only 50% of children who develop EDs "fully" recover. 10% of those who don't fully recover become overweight. To me it's a better alternative to dead which is what happens to another 10%. Really? If you're up for some unsolicited advice...just stop being so judgemental. There maybe more than one purpose to the video, there maybe more to my story that you'll never know. Life is a lot easier and less frustrating when you stop judging.
beautywithin85 9 months ago
@beautywithin85
Then if you switched, it'd be better for you to say that you've been switching between eating disorders for 6 years. And I'm a very open-minded person. I let people believe what they want and don't force my opinions on others. At least I try to. I'm only being honest.
nnnnnnhhhhhhhhh 9 months ago
@nnnnnnhhhhhhhhh At the time the photo/photos were taken I had not yet "switched". At the time I had made the video I had been in the "switched" mindset for less than a year. It doesn't matter an ED is an ED and it still ruins your life.
beautywithin85 9 months ago
dont do this to your self i wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy
TattooToad16 1 year ago
@TattooToad16 I know and I try to remind myself of that everyday...
beautywithin85 1 year ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
your disgusting. i cant believe you made your parents suffer through this and probably made them pay a fortune. you make me fucking sick and I have an eating disorder. i cant believe you would make it get that out of control. your hopeless and you will never recover. disgusting and worthless
ClythiaMystica 1 year ago
@ClythiaMystica Excuse me??? I've learned not to judge people until I have all the information. First my parents aren't perfect, they're really really far from perfect. My childhood would make you cringe. Second my govt pays for my treatment, the only thing you're correct abou tis that I should feel incredibly guilty if my parents had to pay out of pocket., third the nature of eating disorders means out of control, and fourth I really could care less what you think.
beautywithin85 1 year ago 12
@beautywithin85 Okay, tell me. was your childhood really that bad that you had to ruin your life over it?
ClythiaMystica 1 year ago
@ClythiaMystica Um yeah it was...& I'm working at changing so that the rest of my life doesn't end up having to be like the first part of it. I don't really care that you don't believe I'm working at or capable of recovery, I & the people around me who matter know that I am.
beautywithin85 1 year ago
wow
lastingoptions 1 year ago
I have an eating disorder, and granted it's not anywhere as bad as yours, I still go to bed at night after puking so much thinking I won't wake up. I still look at around 400 calories as a binge. I know my health is at risk and I could possibly die, but I just can't stop. I just need this in my life. I also self-injure. For me...it's about control. It's punishment. Anyways, this video is beautiful and eye opening and I wish I would have seen it before this mess started.
fkbtj8 1 year ago
Sorry, but your story would have been encouraging to get out of my ed except for the fact that you're overweight now. I hate it that every person I've met who's recovered from eds is overweight. It doesn't look good to me, I'd rather die...
nfrl 1 year ago
@nfrl yeah I don't look overweight though, to most I look cuvy and athletic. I know what the feelings like though. I always swore I would kill myself at the weight that would put me equivalent to a bmi of 23, and then 29.5...but it didn't. I know a lot of girls who have recovered from eating disorders who are not overweight.
there's atleast 10 of us at werfreedomfighters ...check it out.
beautywithin85 1 year ago
@nfrl
What about all those who AREN'T medically overweight and don't need an ED to achieve that? Shouldn't THAT be encouraging for you? Making excuses for perpetuating your low self-esteem and subsequent ED isn't something you should treat lightly.
Stop thinking in extremes; being unskinny doesn't mean you're fat! Maybe I can't "relate" because I'm ED-free, but it sucks to live in a "modern" society where women are so flimsy, in will, mind, and self-image. Now THAT'S discouraging....
MysticKoolaid 1 year ago
Anorexia isn't even really a wish to lose weight- it's about wanting to vanish from everyday life, wanting to escape, wanting to die even. They usually know they look like shit with hair on their body, protruding bones and grey skin, but what they look like isn't important any more.
Please dont give up but go into recovery
elibeth121 1 year ago
Wow. This is the single, most powerful & deeply frightening video on eating disorders and their consequences that I've ever seen on You Tube. I had an eating disorder in high school and then relapsed three other times, nearly dying. Like you, I have to take pills before I eat, or the food doesn't go down. I fervently hope that any wannarexics watching this will get it: Once you are caught in its grip, eating disorders never completely go away. Thanks for posting I'm glad you are recovering.
lonelyheroine 1 year ago
@lonelyheroine I hope you are well too also? And yeah the consequences of an ED truly last forever, and it's really a shame that people don't get that.
beautywithin85 1 year ago
Just a query, i hope this doesn't sound rude, and you don't have to answer but did you have to pay everytime you went into hospital?
fatfac3 1 year ago
@fatfac3 nah it's not a problem. I've never directly paid for any of my hospital care, all of that is covered by govt and through taxes that we pay (I live in Canada). The only care I've had to pay for directly is therapy on an OP basis and some of that is covered. I'm very fortunate
beautywithin85 1 year ago
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mininina100 2 years ago
@mininina100 no worries....try to find someone to talk to, stay engaged the eating disoder's worst enemies are others who enjoy and partake actively in a life that is healthily busy and socially active. Take care of yourself, you deserve better.
beautywithin85 1 year ago
@mininina100 Anorexia is disorting your mind, so you think you are fat but in reality you are a walking skeleton
elibeth121 1 year ago
wow, i admire you for your strenght, i'm sure you'll win this illness. i'm also in recovery right now of an eating disorder, keep fighting, you're beautiful the way you are!
ilovethevalleyoh 2 years ago 5
@ilovethevalleyoh thank you for such kind words!
beautywithin85 1 year ago
@beautywithin85 are you ok now?
wanderish 1 year ago
@wanderish Definitely better than I've ever been before...it's a process right? Not a moment in time, but the journey through it.
beautywithin85 1 year ago
Very inspirational video. I mean inspiring girls to stay strong and healthy and not fall into this heartbreaking and dangerous life style. All the best to you x
lizzieish 2 years ago
@lizzieish thank you so much, take care oof yourself.
beautywithin85 1 year ago
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TheSexysarah123 2 years ago
wow you have been through alot hun hope ur doin ok now .. x
donnamarie21uk 2 years ago 2
@donnamarie21uk I am, I hope your well too
beautywithin85 1 year ago
i critised one of your other video's but after watching this id like to take back what i said. if you can find a way to laugh at what you've been through then good for you. it's good that your showing ppl the reality.
loveh8relationship 2 years ago 2
wow theres a bunch of retards trying to attack you over dumb crap. I bet they don't even know what they're talking about and probably aren't nurses... anyways
I wish you luck. I don't really know how I found this video. I was watching a dinosaur and pig video then somehow ended up here. but you really should go public with your story. Like go to some high schools.
DeannaMcQ 2 years ago
LOL. yeah not much about dinosaurs and pigs in here...I'm thinking maybe of doing something along those lines...I want to go into medicine but not EDs directly but family med, possibly work on a college campus part time.
And yeah there seems to be a lot of retards in the world.
One doesn't need a gallbladder? Yeah they're not going to die without one but if we didn't have a use for it they'd remove it at birth woldn't they...?
beautywithin85 2 years ago
I feel like screaming, oh my god. Completely devestating. I'm anorexic...You're so strong for working at recovery. Inspirational. Maybe I can get there one day. Some day.
all the best <3
xxfadeawayxx 2 years ago
I figured due to your psychiatric history you'd be delicate on this matter, and you should be, but don't take me up wrong when I'm not attacking you. I wish you luck with your recovery, and in your nursing/medical career. Hopefully you'll gain a bit of objectivity by then, cos believe me, you'll need it
mcdermla 2 years ago
I actually do have quite a bit of objectivity with regards to most things medical, I've worked extensively in long term care where I had planned to become a nurse (but then decided against) and I do know what you mean about objectivity, altho i'm not sure I'd call it that more of a removed sort of all encompassing perspective on the whole deal. And I do realize that your not attacking me, other wise I would not have continued to respond to you. I'm more then my psychiatric history the (cont..)
beautywithin85 2 years ago
and I to be quite honest am responding with more of an emotional tendency rather then the logical one I generally try to embrace. (ie I realize that I am coming across as extremely sensitive)
However I would prob decline from saying things like I don't mean to be an ass hole but...and that I am overly dramatic it just doesn't sit well even if I am not delicate about my h(x) , also with all due respect (I actually do mean that as I've said things that could be perceived as inflammatory cont
beautywithin85 2 years ago
And you have responded in a way that I respect definitely...I would like to perhaps suggest that as a nurse in your 20s you may know a great deal about clinical practices, but could learn a great deal,as much if not more as a result of experience which perhaps you don't have as much of..I know that was definitely the case for me in clincal rotations.
beautywithin85 2 years ago
...that and take care. Really ...no hard feelings. If I could see you and read your body langauge and expression I'd be more convinced that perhaps your choice of wording is wrong or poorly thought out and that you really truly are the type of person suited to this profession. And I still do respect you. I mean I was in in long enough to realize nobody comes out of this nursing thing alive unless they're a good person.
beautywithin85 2 years ago
I was simply saying that the gallbladder is essentially, a non-vital organ. I'm not insulting you or your situation by staing a fact. I'm not a psychiatric nurse, I'm a general medical nurse, thus I think of things ina clinical and matter-of-fact way, something I'm sure you're familiar with at this stage of your degree. Also, please don't tell me what I 'subtly imply' in my responses to you.
mcdermla 2 years ago
I was simply giving my professional opinion, I guess that's the difference between having a nursing degree, and having a good chunk of one. I'm not promoting an eating disorder at all and no I didn't take 'that oath thingy.' With all due respect to your circumstances, if you want people to believe you maybe you should tell the truth rather than make everything more dramatic than it need be. Most wannrexics think they'll never actually get any of the consequences of anorexia anyway
mcdermla 2 years ago
So heres my opinion as a "professional" patient (yanno b/c I overly dramatize everything and spend my life in hosptials) you must be a terrible nurse if this is any indication of how you behave with your patients...with too much bile being released into your intestines (yanno b/c the gallbladder stores it) you are prone to bouts of diarrhea if you don't consume enough fat. Yes it is rare, and no it hasn't happened to me all that often. But its like tonsils it's useful it serves a purpose cont...
beautywithin85 2 years ago
and provided that there is nothing wrong with it it should stay in there. Therefore gallbladder=uselful. Last time I checked the removing parts of the body just b/c they weren't "necessary" was a practice of the middle ages. I wish I had over dramatized everything in here, to imply that I have is kind of instulting and quite invalidating.
Oh btw...when you start off w/ "I don't mean to be an ass but..." it subtly implies that you do but you want a way out of it if its conveinent. cont...
beautywithin85 2 years ago
mind you I haven't been hospitalized in like 4 years (other then the appendectomy) so it's a good chance that my "professional" patient opinion is probably out of date, so take it with a grain of a salt and assume that I've been overly dramatically with that also.
beautywithin85 2 years ago
sorry to be an asshole but gallbladder isn't necessary- I'm a nurse
mcdermla 2 years ago
didn't say necessary, said useful...that I still maintain, btw have a good chunk of my nursing degree also.. but way to go about minimizing the physical consequences...its a good think you didn't take that oath thingy, b/c clearly minimizing consequences of ED (fatal or not necessary) is a bit of a conflict of interest when it comes to the promoting a healthy lifestyle thing...
beautywithin85 2 years ago
@mcdermla That may be true, but all surgery (including removal of the gall bladder) poses some risks. Things can go very wrong. It's not unheard of that a patient inadvertently gets too much anasthetic (sp) and never comes out of it. I won't regale you with scary examples overload, but you get the message. (I hope).
lonelyheroine 1 year ago
@lonelyheroine yeah even though it's not considered major surgery it's still done under general anesthesia which poses risks itself we're also forgetting that the gallbladder does serve a function...not a vital one true but I can assure you there are many people who have had their gallbladder removed and bc bile is no longer being stored for digestion but made on the spot experience digestive problems
Thanks for your comments!
beautywithin85 1 year ago
This is a truly amazing video. I don't have an ED but I've suffered from depression for some years now. A lot of people don't realize it, but a lot of the feelings of anorexia and depression are the same thing. Thank you for posting this, because you even helped me think more positively. I hope you're feeling a lot better now xxx
TLAURAY 2 years ago
its sad when i (an anorexic in recovery) watch this, i dont feel like this would have stopped me from pursuing my selfish need to be skinny around 3 years ago when i started this. i in no way chose my lifestyle but i did know all the dangers, all the tips, the tricks, but i went ahead and did it anyway. it makes me sad that there are definately other people that look at this and think "so what? i dont care" but also, the fact that people actually say that they want to be anorexic. great video x
foreverdamagED 2 years ago
thank you!!!!!
you dont know how much i needed to see this vidio,
thank you so much..
iloveuemobaby 2 years ago
I'm glad you could benefit from it, it makes it seem almost worthwhile knowing that you did...
beautywithin85 2 years ago
I have an anorexic/bulemic friend who has all these food allergies now. I'm glad you're recovering. This video made me cringe, and I'm glad it did because I needed the slap in the face.
Jpmiklo 2 years ago
I'm sorry your having trouble...and its so weird there's a lot of us like that...Bare inmind also that I'm willing to praise and congradulate on your accomplishments the same way I like to challenge ppl to see the truth...
beautywithin85 2 years ago
this probably happened because you weren't smart enough to drink water to keep yourself hydrated and didn't take vitamins to help with your electrolyte imbalance issues. im sorry this happened to you, but if you were educated you could have prevented it.
crazYCYDE 2 years ago
Are you actually trying to suggest that purging is harmless?
While I totally accept that there are some precautions you can take with regards to maintaining proper electrolyte balance (mainly don't purge), you are kidding yourself if you don't think your harming yourself.
Btw vitamins are not responsible for electrolytes. Minerals (such as Calcium, Na, K etc) are what we refer to as electrolytes. Vitamins for the most part have very little to do with electrolytes.
beautywithin85 2 years ago
Btw I am educated. I'm eligible to go to med school next year and I have close to half an RN. Infact at the time of this electrolyte imbalance I was in nursing school. I really has very little to do with education, and far more with the fact its a really bad idea.
beautywithin85 2 years ago
Powerful video, all wannarexics should watch this! Thanks for posting.
xXxGothikAngelxXx 3 years ago
This video I really liked (ie no mixed feelings), it puts the reality of the disorder on display. like I said in my comment on one of your other vids, I've had an ED for ten years... I could make a vid just like this listing all the horrid health issues and things I've lost to my disorder. It's sad really... how much one can lose due to self hate. ps. I to am in recovery... It's a rough ride but I'm sure it will be worth it in the end.
somanydays 3 years ago
I've watched this again and again....i still am losing weight and like it...
BIBIdeathnote 3 years ago
then you are headed to becoming very very sick. You need to get help. It's okay that you need help but it is not okay to lose weight this way and enjoy it. Something is very wrong. Plz take care
beautywithin85 3 years ago
Love your honesty. thanx for sharing...are you a swimmer?
Chunafishy 3 years ago
thanx and was...not so much anymore...too many challenges tha my body isn't up to anymore but I was def headed that way. I still swim just not half as much or at that level anymore =)
beautywithin85 3 years ago
I honestly didn't know your story this way. Does it help if I say I'm sorry? Or is it better if I promise not to make your mistakes?
I think I'll write you a PM about that...
tons of love and hugs, great big sis!
favea 3 years ago
Both are awesome! But def don't make my mistakes!!! Totally appreciating loves and hgus lil sis...where's your tuesday encouragement video? lol. Ah maye I'll start some in the new year...
beautywithin85 3 years ago
thursday encouragement? last week? you've watched and commented it ;) it's monday today!
almost finished your mail, it's gonna be loooong and a little sad and hopeless/confused, only read if you're ok with that
xxx
favea 3 years ago
ok I re-read the comment lol
sorry bout that, I'm gonna post a tuesday enc, ok? wait a little, it'll be up sooooon for ya
favea 3 years ago
this is very touching.
i hope more than anything that you will get better..this is heartbreaking.
i wish i could reverse all your problems :,((
foodsux4 3 years ago
thanks I wish I could do the same for you, stay strong, I am much more well and whole then I ever have been.
beautywithin85 3 years ago
omygod this is the best video in the whole widwe world.
lilgem61490 3 years ago
thanks I like it to.
beautywithin85 3 years ago
this is an amazing and inspiring vidoe. i am so close to tears. you have been thru so much! but remember hunni, recovery is possible and if you keep going with the recovery i assure you that you will be doing something you thought you never would in two years time
much love babes
tahnks for sharing and stay strong :) xxx
boneylilme 3 years ago
yeah I already am thanks hun. I never thought I would ever be able to consider going back to med school again but I now have most of the pre reqs, belong to a premed society, and am planning on writing the MCAT. A couple yrs ago it was my goal not to live on disablity forever.
So yeah I know its out there, and you encouragement means the world to me. Just coming to terms with loss can be hard.
beautywithin85 3 years ago
Keep yourself strong and safe! great video for shows to all those stupid girls that want to learn how can become sick , not telling u that u are stupid I mean girls that want to be sick maybe their lives are so boring that need to ill for get attention..thanks for your video!
CrAzyBladE831 3 years ago
your welcome and I agree....the drama of an eating disorder is not anyway to make life intersting.
beautywithin85 3 years ago
omg. so true, we are more than a number. anyway we are all different in all senses, let alone our "number"
boadecia79 3 years ago
there isn't a number large enough in the world to represent even the worth of one of us...I'm saying that really struggling to believe it but it doesn't make it any less true :(
beautywithin85 3 years ago
that was brillantly done. :-)
bbhaw84 3 years ago
thanks! I was worried ppl were going to think it was to gross to think about. But atleast its true, unlike all that glorified thinspo crap.
beautywithin85 3 years ago
no problem. its never gross for me. i like everyone the way they r. the only type of ppl i cnt stand r show offs n ppl who think theyre always right, 24/7. i like you :-) i think ur genuine :-)
bbhaw84 3 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
so fake!!
freakica123 3 years ago
yea b/c I have nothing better to do with my life then make up the imaginary medical consequnces...for my eating disorder and put them in a video.
beautywithin85 3 years ago
wow wow, such an amazing video. I'm on the other end, having gone from 98lbs to my current of 140lbs. I'm struggling with that to be honest. Even though a lot is muscle. I do want to burn off the fat to show the muscle. But the only way I know is the purge/restrict way... and i'm trying to convince myself to trust my body and all I know about nutrition but it's hard! thanks for vid
boadecia79 3 years ago
yea same here but im 139lbs, Thats the only way i also know (mainly restricting for me though), how long uve been struggling?
dogsredsmcdonalds 3 years ago
Your more then a number =)
beautywithin85 3 years ago
idk if ur goin to replay but i was wondering i now for a fact that if one doesnt eat they loose water weight, but my question is if one drinks enough water everyday ur electolytes will remain in balance ....so this wat u can keep hunger off n maintain balance of electrolytes --- Is this possible??
dogsredsmcdonalds 3 years ago
???
How about if your thirsty you drink water...and if your not you don't? Just follow your body's instincts...it's very good.
beautywithin85 3 years ago
but how can u follow ur insticts when part of u isnt right?.....btw i like this vid b/c is how i came to know better :D
dogsredsmcdonalds 3 years ago
I dunno hun still figurin that part out... But chances are your body knows better then you do and if you make a mistake its not the end of the world. I like this vid too its one of my faves!
beautywithin85 3 years ago
Absolutely AMAZING video - Well Done.
xx
8795mystery8795 3 years ago
whoa,it's shocking that you survived through all that..no wonder that anorexia and bulimia can do.. O_O" oh i'm soo happy for you ^o^ btw is your b.m.i now 30??
gnrqueen 3 years ago
um right now its about 29.5...I compete as a swimmer at a national and provincial level while training its about 30.5-31...if i get much lower then that then I lose the mass and strength required to swim at a half decent speed....I wear normal sized clothing that I buy at regular stores, and my suit for swimming is a size smaller then when I was training 3 yrs ago...The whole point I was trying to make is that numbers like HDL, LDL, BP, are better indications of health then wt and even bmi.
beautywithin85 3 years ago
Whoa i thought you were tlaking about bmi..are you??O_O i didn't knew swimmers needed to hae that much b.m.i =o.. here in h.k they say 23 is overweight =/ [[but i dont think so.. bahh anyways]]i'm sure you're not really talking about b.m.i.. and sorry for asking annoying questions,anyways i hope your lfie will be filled with happiness
gnrqueen 3 years ago
no problem...and yeah I am talking about bmi...I weigh about 200 lbs right now and at 5'9'' thats where that puts me..in candada overweight is anything over 25 or 27 depending who u talk to...there are other factors contributing to a higher bmi then normal (scoliosis-curvature of the spine)-I'm supposed to be a couple inches taller, that and my long bones stopped growing while I was sick...but yea I'm talking bmi...most ppl inc doctors don't believe it
and don't worry bout the questions!!! :)
beautywithin85 3 years ago
ohh thanks for answering ^_^
uhh i stopped growing.. when i got..sick also
*coughs*.. well ed.. i should say!but i'm turning to 14 next month.. so hopefully i'll grow taller.. cause i recovered.. but not completly there was days when i get really down *sighs* anyways best of luck *kisses*
gnrqueen 3 years ago
D: <3
bajabun 3 years ago
truly powerful and moving. I admire your strength.
Acheronspet 3 years ago
Don't know if I'm anorexic, but I find myself headed that way. Thanks for the great video, I'm sorry you went through all that, but at least you survived. Maybe it will convince me to stop before I get too carried away. I don't know... Thanks :)
fiddler32 3 years ago
I hope so...anything I can do to help you on your way to recovery (not getting sicker tho =p) I'll do.
beautywithin85 3 years ago
that was one of the best i have seen you awesome keep up the good work you can do it High FIve girl :)
MyPinkRainbow 3 years ago
btw: you should go and tell your story to anorexic girls (if you're strong enugh, because that must be so hard!) but this is a great start!
pantoffeldiertjelisa 3 years ago
Yeah I'm thinking about it we have an org in ottawa that pairs recovered anorexics with those starting recovery...They ask you to be pretty much symptom free for 2 yrs tho, which I'm still working on I'm afraid...It's a goal tho.
beautywithin85 3 years ago
I almost stopped breathing too when I saw this.
Damn
I wish u all the best, really, respect for telling your story like this!
I'm not anorexic but I have anorexic thoughts mixed with anti-anorexic thoughts. It started with a diet and I lost 10KG in one month... I was obsessed. But I'm strong and I was able to stop. But I still have the thoughts...
video's like yours make me see the truth...
I guess I'm just going trough a tuff period...
pantoffeldiertjelisa 3 years ago
You have NO idea how much I RESPECT you for realizing that your on a slippery slope and doing your best to fight them NOW rather then waiting until your body is so broken that you have that to deal with also...I don't know if you have anyone you can talk to but yeah keep talking the more we do the less the thoughts control us. Hang in there. I admire you more then you know.
beautywithin85 3 years ago
I'm so sorry. Thank you for this.
Aridaemus 3 years ago 2
Ah don't be.. it's made me who I am... and I like it now...Thank you for appreciating it tho... a lot of ppl seem to think I make it up or something?!
beautywithin85 3 years ago
lol...no offence but i don't need anyone telling me what i do and don't need...i need to achive my goals and that's exactly what i'm going to do...i'm strong enough to handle whatever comes up...
goal100to95to90 3 years ago
okay whatever but you can't say somebody didn't tell you... stay as safe as you can.
beautywithin85 3 years ago
"gaol-what-ever" we do not need to know what yur goals are either but yu still write then down. So, aply the same rule to this video. Go and take care of your stupid goals. You as all anorexics are super-defensive, but then you are all mentally ill
6miranda0 3 years ago
I just saw this (in a fit of insomina) and I think its super ironic and kinda neat goal= gaol the way u wrote it (tho prob not intentionally)...which is jail in old english. cool huh? cause living in this is certainly living in a prison
beautywithin85 3 years ago
great vid. i hope you manage to get through to just one person. everyone is beautiful in their own way - im glad you highlight that it doesnt always have to come down to the bmi/weight of someone.
charlieglue 3 years ago
If someone is "wannarexic," there's a lot wrong with them. It's like trying to scare people away from suicide by telling them they might die. I liked the video, but it's judgmental. A lot of people who are depressed, etc. starve just to see some sort of "positive" result to the mental pain (actually, I've done this). That's different than saying or trying to be anorexic, but I think it's where it starts. It's good to warn people away (aka like don't try drugs), but others' issues aren't invalid.
MachineAmbition 3 years ago
I find it interesting that you seem to be the first of like 12 ppl to get that message. I absolutely agree that someone who feels that their life is so out of control they need and ED needs help. In fact that is what i'm trying to point out (did u actutally watch the whole thing)? There are many consequences, getting help now is the best idea
as for judgement and invalidity of/for others...I have no idea what the heck you are talking about. I invite you to msg me.
beautywithin85 3 years ago
thank you for all these amazing words
marjorie0201 3 years ago
you have been though hell yet you still care about others you are awsome!
Alethea123 3 years ago
thnx, I learned how to be "awesome" =) from a lot of really awesome ppl who have helped me along the way.
beautywithin85 3 years ago
This is such a powerful video, I hope a lot of people see it.
Holding0n 3 years ago
great great video!
familiarfriend 3 years ago
thnx hun, hope ur on later today
beautywithin85 3 years ago
Awesome vid, really loved its honesty and truth. oh n yay I'm back woop woop
lub ya
fuckupthatsme 3 years ago
- "I messed up a lot for one person. I don't want to be the only one learning from how much I screwed up."
that really moved me *hug*
peaceluvunity 3 years ago
*hugs back* loads of em.
beautywithin85 3 years ago
you truely are a blessing and have taken on the suffering of a nation x o x o
buwTfrmPAIN 3 years ago
aw you guys are awesome...I thought that I would get a whole bunch of comments like quit whining, pity party, you deserve it blah blah...btw I posted something to the tuneof this comment about an hr ago but it didn't take for some reason.
beautywithin85 3 years ago
seriously though as much as i love your usual videos this time you seemed to actually accept that you matter and what you PERSONALLY go through matters. if this is whining then im gona tell alot more people to whine!
buwTfrmPAIN 3 years ago
very cool =) I can do some more whining.
beautywithin85 3 years ago
Wow. Looks like you've had a real tough time, all the best with your recovery. Stay strong, you'll get there!
3roken 3 years ago
thnx, i'm getting there I just get scared cause sometimes there are so many ppl struggling and I'm afraid I'll be one of the only ones in the end. It' doesn't have to be that way.
beautywithin85 3 years ago
We all get scared sometimes. Don't give up, I can see so much strength in you, and i really hope you keep going!
3roken 3 years ago
i love your vid
looksexytalkdirty 3 years ago
amazing video.. i am sorry to hear your story though.
kitkitwithclaws 3 years ago
ah, don't be too sorry I'm doing really well, and its made me who I am today...strong...the body is just a little broken :(, But its resilient too, not invinvible I learned, resilient tho
beautywithin85 3 years ago
well im glad to hear you are doing better. This is a great video and i hope more people see it esp the "wannarexics" outthere because they obviously have no idea what they are getting themselves into. xoxo!
kitkitwithclaws 3 years ago