Arranged marriage Interview-Love can be Arranged

[mjshah1979]

It sounds like marriage in America in the 1960's. "Changing yourself for your husband is better than never getting married at all." See how happy they all are. And divorce was low in the 60's for the same reason it is in India today: Huge stigma against it. Nothing to do with happiness.

[laxmania3]

SONG in the BEGINNING

[Xephei]

strange..



[nuzyish]

In my opinion it's not about what percentage of arranged marriages end up in divorce, it's about if couples r happy or not. Honestly arranged marriages are more like a commitment made with ur parents or whoever arranged the marriage rather than ur partner. I had an arrange marriage but I would never never never expect that from my kids.

[mjshah1979]

@nuzyish Exactly. Divorce "rates" in a society where you just don't freely get divorced, is deceptive.

[auju123]

My teacher says with an arranged marriage, you learn to love. That gave me a whole new prospective on the idea :)

[iznohgud]

smack that bitch up

[VivienForum]

Arranged marriage couple asking eachother

Wife : What if some guy comes up and attacks me?

Husband : uhh...maybe i will throw something at them or help you?

Wife : What if the girl you met in college got attacked?

Husband : I would die for her....

[athee007]

what a cow , the attitude is appalling, she deserves a slap, how dare she? Only a deaf man would marry her. shocking, disgrace to women.

[SaffronCicely]

There's a difference between forced marriage and arranged marriage. In an arranged marriage like this, it's arranged by the husband and the wife who choose each other, and the parents approve. Their parents help them find a friend. Love can grow, it's just a more business like way of going about it. In love marriages, you probably won't feel that new feeling you did at the beginning and you have to work out the problems you ignored to begin with like incompatibility. Both can work though.

[SaffronCicely]

Interesting! I like how it's the same music from Twilight playing in the background haha!

[myusernameisrlylong]

@SaffronCicely what is the song called exactly?

[timgeog]

Those who say love marriages give the couples happiness should look deep in their argument. High rate of divorce itself says everything about how much and for how many days, they have been happy.

[timgeog]

Arranged marriage is always keeps you committed to your parents and your partner and we hate it because we want to become a "stray Ox" (Khulla Saand) who, without familial pressures, could satisfy his carnal urges. Concept of happiness is like a volatile compound. it does not take much time to turn into gaseous component.

[timgeog]

Because of supremacy of personal gains over familial gains, love marriages break sooner. Now most of us do not want to live with their parents but expect their children to be always with them. Parents play a crucial role in making of a long lasting marriage. Most of criticize Indian arranged marriage system because they hate the old traditional orthodox and obsolete Indian societal norms.

[timgeog]

Life is not like a bus where co-passengers get into and get down the bus every now and then. Relationships to last long need not only love but also sacrifice and that is absent in today's love marriages. Personal gains are the top priorities now. By saying this I am not saying that girls only should sacrifice, boy must do. (I need to clarify the things in between because there are people who misunderstand the things written here).

[timgeog]

. I am not opposing the idea that divorces of arranged marriages are less in number because of less autonomy of women in our society. But those opposing arranged marriages must understand that in Modern India, at least in urban and rich rural areas, parents have started giving enough choice to their children. Its no more a forced decision. No father/mother wants his/her children to be unhappy throughout the life. Decision are taken in haste, they are taken with a lot of patience.

[timgeog]

. Love marriages (especially in the West and nowadays in India as well) grow out of sudden obsession towards somebody and it ends up soon because of feelings of individualistic material gains (job, money, friends, big dreams) that they have in their mind. These feelings of individualistic gains take over the feelings of welfare of family as whole and thus divorces take place.

[mjshah1979]

@timgeog Arranged marriages also often take place because of obsession -- Right salary, right status, right family name, right star sign. And of course you don't get divorced, that would embarrass the family that set you up. It doesn't mean you're happy. Iknow MANY miserable arranged couples, some of whom were only allowed to meet their wives once, who even have affairs on the side to fill the emotional void. But no intention of divorcing because you just "don't." Statistical rates deceive.

[timgeog]

Arranged marriages are far better than short duration love marriages. These short love marriages grow out of obsession and lust and end up soon in a divorce because these was neither understanding between the couple nor was there any mechanism to solve these misunderstandings. I believe love grows slowly and it is give and take. Arranged marriages (long lasting) are the pillars of the society. Mother and father both are important for children's development.

[dhingchak123]

Feelings can change committment doesnt.. Love or Arrange doesn't matter.

[20jeddy]

@dhingchak123 Best comment i have heard in my entire life.

[ace41r]

She doesnt deserve that guy, hes way too good for her !

[Saufm]

@ace41r I dont know how things are in India, but here in Europe guys that are "too good" get friend-zoned for that exact reason. In Europe, guys like him can consider themselves lucky if they ever score at all.

[ace41r]

@Saufm Its the same here ! its the same all over the world. All humans are hardwired in the same way, only cultures vary. In india, you need not necessarily chase a girl to get married, our parents will do the job ;). So less waste of time and energy :P.

[hairyfatslobpig]

Nice clip however just because very few end in divorce, doesn't make the couples happier. Perhaps divorced woman are frowned upon and would suffer unhappily for the sake of pride and not disrespecting families. There are some good points however for arranged marriages to work, they must generally take place where the society that surrounds you, is in tune with that practice. Very difficult in Western culture where woman work, temptation everywhere and many different cultures getting married.

[notorioussaint13]

@hairyfatslobpig Bang on!!

[nirupayogi]

@hairyfatslobpig, not just women, men too suffer unhappily for the sake of children, etc

[mjshah1979]

@hairyfatslobpig THIS!!!!

[markscott161720]

@hairyfatslobpig all of the same factors are in the cultures of those who experience arranged marriages. The difference is the fact that a higher spiritual and moral standard is presented and upheld by those involved. They simply avoid the ignorance of infatuation with another and seek the positives in their parter for the fact that they have what they view as an obligation to their family and religion to forge a life long bond with someone.

[geoh7777]

Are any discussions between prospective marriage partners in India carried on in English? Very sweet video BTW.

[0aintseennothingyet0]

The "less than 5% end in divorce" at the end is the weakest link of this film. We live in a society where divorce is still NOT an option for all but the worst cases or for the most liberated. To use divorce statistics in such a society is pointless! It is like using the number of registered eve-teasing cases as the number of times eve-teasing has actually happpened. Wake up!

[0aintseennothingyet0]

I liked most the bit most where the guy admitted he was lost and wanted the feeling of finding his way, and that he wanted something new. This I believe is closest to reality in how most people walk into arranged marriages.

[Softmessager]

On a second take on the video are puzzling -

why does he take the keys and later decides to press the bell ?

looks grim and tired all over in the other part ..

Relation with god is private business ?

Anywayz she was impressed after all and I think after marriage -- he is doomed ?

Anwayz i do not drink , smoke ....and ..... I wont marry a bitch who smokes or drinks .

[Softmessager]

Dis is a bullsh!t exxagerated one - I cant understand much the diff btw arranged vs other marriages - or maybe the only difference Arramged Marriages - where ur parents contact the spouse parents - after which their children are free to like / dislike

If parents are stubborn, then its individual problem - not to blame on custom or religion. REMEMBER - selfish ignorant parents tend to breed selfish ignorant children.

Q do look like from those cout sessions - anywayz pity on the guy.

[Kurasshu88]

90% seems unbelievable I guess. My family is indian, my parents had an arranged marriage. It's gonna be the 30th anneversiary and she's unhappy as hell. She stays because of loosing her status and labeled as a divorced woman. Though again my grandma married a lucky guy as did my aunts and uncles. Some people though might've wound up unlucky.

[suruss9]

Those against arrange marriage must remember that the percentage of love marriages succeeding is not as impressive as arranged marriages..... which means that they end in divorce more often that the arranged marriage...thus it is safe to say that the love quickly gets lost in the love marriage. The reason for which may be attributed to lack of grievance redressal mechanism (i.e the absence of active participation of elders of the family.)

[suruss9]

By saying that the women does not give divorce because of family pressure or their husband does not allow is absurd, whoever is saying so are underestimating the resolve of Indian women. Most of the arranged marriages does not end in divorce because, the success of the marriage not only depends on the couple but also on the elders of the family...thus if there are any issues elders make sure that the issues gets resolved amicably.. thus preventing breakup of the marriage.

[egenesis1]

Forgot to mention, arranged marriage might have less divorce but ARE YOU HAPPY (as a couple)? Most of the couple on arranged marriage don't get divorced because they want to save the pride of family name ... Most parents will kick them out of the family if they do that ...

[egenesis1]

No I dont even let my parents choose cloth for me :) By the way, marrying within own caste etc, isnt that going to just circulate the gene within the same group of people. I heard that circulating the same genetic is going to create defects on kids??

[Softmessager]

@egenesis1 : NO - the problem only arises if they are from blood relations - marrying d father , sister -etc Earlier, the practices of marrying uncles children were there - but now those r gone as well. Same caste is fine- Technically hope you have never "heard" an entire caste with genetic defects - have u?

Hmm - If u dont allow parents to choose, its your call. I always let my parents choose anything - We r confident in them and our tastes likings always match .

[aleksey2323]

The parents dont just choose some random girl they actually talk to her parents and get to know eachother then they ask their son or whoever if they want to get married.  Interesting Video

[aerussel]

Only 5% end in divorce because Indian men don't allow the women to end it. This movie is false propoganda; don't believe it for a minute. I've seen it firsthand on multiple occasions that the woman is unhappy. Arranged marriages may have a 90% success rate, but ask if those marriages are truly happy. I think not.

[WelcomeB09]

She seems awfully jaded and cynical. He’s trying to make here laugh, and she’s unimpressed. I am not sure why anyone would want to get married after watching this. It looks painful and frustrating and it seems like a lifetime of trying to impress someone, or being disappointed at their attempt. It boggles my mind why any two people would voluntarily either (A) try in vain to impress someone. Or (B) constantly be underwhelmed, and disappointed in someone.

[krazzyfighter]

This video is a refreshing take on the concept of arranged marriage in India. But i don't think the last quotes justify the whole issue. It says 'only' 5% end in divorce. Maybe true, but what if the people willing for a divorce are forced into silence?? Taking into account Indian customs and traditions, divorces borne out of arranged marriages are still considered a social stigma.

[arpan21aman]

its mostly guy's choice if he likes the girl or no but 70% of parents don't ask their daughter if they like that guy. so it is a forced marrige. m against it.

[crimialmonk]

help ful for those who r going to visit their probable husband / wife. was helpful for me.....