Vicious Cycle of Workplace Bullying

[kellyspelly]

Thanks for exposing this, because I was in this exact situation where I had been bullied, and went to HR and was offered another a opportunity to move to another location. I thought this was ideal, I jumped at the chance, but a few short months later, I began to experience the same vicious cycle. That is the constant petty attacks. But I am fight back. Praise The Lord.

[StopWorkplaceBullies]

@kellyspelly Be sure you fight back in the right way. I'd recommend hiding an audio recorder in your pocket. Remember, things other than yelling and screaming are bullying. A false allegation is bullying. Keep the recordings of these things and after repeated incidents then take your evidence to HR. Also let them know bullying triggers disabling PTSD. This let's them know they're on the hook vis-a-vis the ADA if they don't do something.

[dduz1]

@StopWorkplaceBullies ,Thank you so much for posting this video. Yes i agree with you that a false allegation is bullying. I was a victim of work place bullying including constant false accusations. besides i was better looking than the rest of the bullies, and i believe jealousy/envy played a role in my targeting.

[SledgHammer11]

I would have to say that most targeted people out there wish they could live on the moon, then perhaps they would be left alone. I fully understand jealousy, or envy, or both or the sense of power bullies get from endlessly harassing people. I guess its the endless part that I struggle with. I love to presume that our mere existence must endlessly rub salt in some open wound of theres.

[StopWorkplaceBullies]

@SledgHammer11 IMHO this hits the nail on the head. Bullies get sick pleasure by their harassment and causing others pain. I hope employers become more aware that bullying runs off good people and, in the long run, is unprofitable. Estimates are it costs between $150 and $1100 billion in the USA each year. IMHO we need to work on two areas for targets (1) target resilience and, (2) some law so people don't have to quit to deal with it in the employer's & legal system.

[SledgHammer11]

The company I work for recently ( after Jan, 1st, 2012 ) ran a commercial on TV showing cancer survivors being bused in to the place of my employment to meet with the builders of the machines that helped diagnose their cancer to begin with. A few of the people they show smiling and meeting with these cancer survivors are the same people that mob bullied me for 3 years. The air was let out of my tires on multiple occasion, my car brakes and radiator were tampered with and cost me over a thousand

[SledgHammer11]

Many of the greatest writers, poets, and intellectuals of our time I have often read usually isolate themselves from society simply because they are so, "different". I would suggest to you as a target to take tremendous pride in who you are as a person because quite frankly odds are you are emotionally mature and have superior understanding of the value of not only your own life, but the people around you as well.

[SledgHammer11]

Society seems to love conformity. Bullies tend to use what, "they" perceive as, "normal" to separate the people who conform to those that dont. Thats how they target you. Thats how bullies thrive. If your the intelligent one in a group of dummies they will target you. If you're the dummy in a group of intelligent people they will target you. If you are different in any way from the main, "group" you will probably get targeted.

[StopWorkplaceBullies]

@SledgHammer11 Agreed! Einstein was a nutcase and it took decades for people to figure out he was right. He never received a Nobel Prize for relativity. If he were a conformist we never would have reached the Moon. What's really sad is, instead of leaving a non-conformist alone, bullies feel they must harass them. Some of us gain resilience against bullying, but huge numbers of people succumb causing lost jobs, ruined careers, and devastated lives.

[maggie0285]

What I cant stand is blatant workplace favoritism. And a boss who will look the other way when employees are not performing job duties. Just total workplace dysfunction. I wont put up with it. I don't care who is who. I will stand up to any boss who is being a complete idiot.

[StopWorkplaceBullies]

@maggie0285 Workplace favoritism is, indeed, a form of bullying. Yes, stand up, however be tactful - you don't want to be left without a job in this economy.

[StopWorkplaceBullies]

Please keep the language clean. We don't want to be bullies ourselves. Unfortunately I can't edit posts so I had to remove "newbutton" 's. Here's what he said (cleanup up): If you don't have a union , you're pretty much f*****

[WJHHunterston]

Winning "special recognition awards," having a great education, talent/skill, chosen for special projects and asserting my rights for coffee breaks at the java bar started this. Targeted by a control freak supervisor & envy filled coworkers (over being chosen for an overtime project). At the end of this process I had to sign a paper that I would never sue them and understood I was banned from all their properties for life. After experiencing this 7 year hell with no support, I'm changing careers

[13SuperKings]

I hate being a target.

[SledgHammer11]

I agree, sadly, the bullies number one intent is to see you humiliated, psychologically, and eventually physically destroyed by forcing you to quite a job that pays for the roof over your head, the food in your belly, and the clothes on your back. Your dignity as a person is worth the fight fire with fire strategy. You dont become a bully... You're just going bayonet to bayonet with some very wicked people. They know your more intelligent, they dont care......

[SledgHammer11]

Assuming you are a person with a high threshhold for pain and personal resolve. A simple trick I use is I'll always be conscious that a bully craves control. SO STOP GIVING IT TO THEM. If you are already aware that you could lose your job for not submitting to the bullies whims. Then you have become the perfect warrior, THE PERSON WITH NOTHING TO LOSE.

[SledgHammer11]

In the title of this video the one word that stands out is vicious. The perfect word to descibe it... One of many techniques I've learned is you must become as vicious as they are WHEN YOU ARE AT WORK, and leave it there.

[StopWorkplaceBullies]

@SledgHammer11 While I'm glad you've learned techniques, I don't agree that one has to become a bully to fight bullying. I've learned a lot myself, mostly in the area of articulation and tact. We gain power when we remain calm and it becomes to the bully and their superiors that our intellectual prowess is superior to the bully's.

[SledgHammer11]

I was bullied as a child in grade school to the point where I was kept inside for recess everyday, had no friends. I'm 45 now and in the last decade I have had 7 different jobs mostly as a direct result of bullying. My current job is high paying but I have had the worst experience yet of all my former jobs because of mob bullying. Theres too much to list..... However, I'm not writing this for sympathy as I'm writing this to hopefully relate and even teach some techniques I've learned along the

[SledgHammer11]

Hey, StopWorkPlaceBullies, If you are aware of a Milwaukee, WI support group of this nature, let me know.... I'm ready to both contribute and do battle for fellow targets. Thanks!

[SledgHammer11]

I think the," Magic Bullet" is when targets come together to help other targets. Or, "Strength in Numbers" as bullies and their sick disciples like to put it. Problem is, targets for some odd reason lack the intestinal fortitude to assemble. Which makes my new found quest in life considerably more difficult...

[SledgHammer11]

You mention Australia, is there a single court in the states that would allow video and audio as evidence? I havent heard of any, usually a very well compensated corporate lawyer would accuse you of invading their, "intellectual property" and probably put you behind bars.

[StopWorkplaceBullies]

Everybody is correct - bullying shouldn't happen. Now what? Support groups - true. That helps us survive. IMHO, however, video also helps. Remember the video from Australia a week ago about a target who struck back. And we need lawyers on our side and they need proof - videos and audios provide that. There isn't a single magic bullet.

[SledgHammer11]

Hey fellow targets, let me see a show of hands.... How many of you really want to spend the remainder of your lives weaving baskets in some mental hospital, I didnt think so..... I dont believe that documenting or expensive cameras do squat except have corporate lawyers use your video against you. Targets need other targets, ( not psychlogists or "meds") to support each other and create, "LOCAL" chapters that can be easily accessible. If you the target think this is worth while. Lets start some

[SledgHammer11]

I read comments left by mdeborahy below and it makes me so pissed off I could s$&t a brick. Nobody should have to go to work and get their life ruined, period! Forgive me, but my emotions tend to go into a rage every time I think about another insecure, immature lunatic that JUST HAS TO ruin someones life... Mdeborahy, please let me know what I can do to help, if it just means chatting on here thats fine.

[SledgHammer11]

OK, now to all us targets out there, do any of you actually need a chart or video like this?? It's therapeutic for about 5 seconds after you watch it. All these videos do is repeatedly diagnose what we already painfully know...

[mdeborahy]

I was bullied at work by one new nutcase coworker who started the yelling and the hollering in the office, then throughout the company and then eventually into my personal life. The lack of references is just as bad as a bad reference. So now I'm basically strugging to find a job and can't get good viable references thanks to the incessant rumors that follow me from job to job. I didn't know what to call it back then but now I know. Still, there is no end. My life is ruined.

[annemaerose]

I'm being bullied by the City of Philadelphia because I found out about environmental crimes. I reported it and found out the politicians were in knee deep. So then they started calling me crazy and covered up the fact that they removed contaminated dirt without proper procedure. You could call it whistleblower retaliation. Anyway - it sucks. I got sick from the poisons and get threats and can't live in my house due to all the issues.

[StopWorkplaceBullies]

@annemaerose Wow! You've got Erin Brokovich type real nefarious issues. As I tell everybody, document, document, document. If you can set up a time lapse camera (you'll need it plugged into the wall, a battery adapter, etc. - about $2000) to continuously monitor the situation. Sounds like you also need a very good (read expensive) lawyer and PI. Best wishes - wish I could do more.

[LindaDooWop]

Thank you so much for this. I've been through this four times in the past few years. However, I'm learning just as much from the comments of these wise, intelligent YouTubers as I am from this wonderful video! I'm between jobs now and I've been dreading jumping into it again without learning anything about what to do about it if it starts happening again. There's no way I could stand to go through it again!

[StopWorkplaceBullies]

@LindaDooWop Repeated bullying is traumatizing. Stay calm and keep a voice recorder running with you at all times. Also learn to identify bullying behaviors (see wikipedia). A couple false allegations were made against me recently and I replied, "Through no fault of mine ..." I was nicely refuting the false allegations. Defend yourself without attacking. And wikipedia is pretty comprehensive.

[LindaDooWop]

@StopWorkplaceBullies

I do know just about everything there is to know about it now. I dedicated myself, for a few years, to researching it. I'm practically an expert now. However, there's virtually nothing that you can actually do about it! The only solution I've come up with is that you must develop something of your own, another way to make money in order to become independent of them, even if it takes years. Just the hope from having that Plan B could get you through it..

[StopWorkplaceBullies]

@LindaDooWop I agree a Plan B is good, however I also believe the ability to identify bullying behaviors and respond objectively, unemotionally, and rapidly puts the bully in their place. My recent experience identifying false allegations and putting in the public record "Through no fault of my own ..." shut my bully up. I'm for all of the above - learn resilience where we are at, develop alternatives so we can live w/o bullying stress thus finding some measure of contentment and security.

[klassytome]

@LindaDooWop I have had the same situation happen to me. I have worked at the same place for 16 years. Except for an 8-month breakdown when my grrandmother died, I've been here since college. In three of the 6 positions I have held in the company bullying has begun again. As a child sexual abuse survivor I also have unresolved issues that exacerbate my inability to suffer with a smile. I feel like I am being raped again and told I'd better be nice or else.

[klassytome]

I have to be nice to someone who makes their hatred of me so open? People tell me so smile at the sadist! I can't bear to transfer again. I want to leave. I am so scared that maybe I'm damaged and that this will be the way my life will be from now on. I have to fight despair with all my might. I am fortunate to have a family and their love to keep me alive.

[LindaDooWop]

@klassytome

Thanks for your comments and support. I can't imagine what kind of people these are. I've seen quite a few of them eventually get fired because the higher ups finally realize it's them causing the problems. I want to see the laws change so they don't dare try it again. I would love to be a part of changing it. To be even more specific, I'd like to see these creeps become unemployable like we've seen happen to the child abusers..

[StopWorkplaceBullies]

Ladies and Gentlemen. I just slapped this together a year ago, but it's amazing how it's resonating with people. Reminder - NO OBSCENITIES. You can disagree, however obscene posts will be deleted. Keep the faith.

[makinawdandy6699]

So terrible. I have to deal with a bully. She has a history of targeting a Chinese woman in our department. Chinese woman didn't stand up for herself, so I did. Now, I am the new target. I often think about what motivates this person's destructive behavior. It is so insane. I think she is mentally ill. Probably a good degree of racism too.

[StopWorkplaceBullies]

@makinawdandy6699 Document, document, document. Get and carry a digital voice recorder, keep it with you all the time, keep it recording all the time, and backup the files consistently. I recall a bartender recording a boss saying she couldn't keep her job because customers don't like to see pregnant bartenders. That recording nailed the boss. Also check out the Workplace Bullying Institute.

[joelibermann]

and this is why i'm going to be self employed

[MingTheMerciful]

@bryngOneOn Will that work for Asian and Hispanic minority as well ?

Man, I love to be Black !!!!!!!

[HateBullies101]

Women are more likely than men to be bullies.  Arizona State University employs many female bullies to supervisory positions.

[foolsgoldsoma]

Everyone who has been bullied in the workplace should watch the movie "Falling Down" with Michael Douglas from 1993.

Seriously, you won't regret it. :)

[diamonddust22]

If I feel I am being bullied, I will get a micro recorder and start to record the abuse that is occuring. I have been bullied in a workplace before, and it started at another job until I stood up to that person and went to the office and we worked it out. I am very happy that I was able to develope a way of getting along. I guess I learned something from all the bullying I suffered years earlier.

[StopWorkplaceBullies]

@bryngOneOn

All employees are effected regardless of status. Many consider the EEOC just for show.

American employees are, legally, "servants" to employer "masters." This doctrine is pre-American Revolution English, but England is progressing while America is not. Thus American employers have vast power.

IMHO we should have clear and objective contracts with an employee right to refuse employer demands above and beyond the contract including being subjected to bullying.

[exoticaguy69]

It's a lot easier to have these people wacked.

[hoppingbuffalo]

Actually, it's not, and the vast majority of victims have a moral barrier to going "postal." More likely a victim will suffer depression and, about 4500 times per year, commits suicide (aka "Bullycide").

[JLuso4]

This video is incredibly true. All of this happened to me recently exactly as described in the video, exactly. Believe me this is a very difficult situation, one that you cannot solve by reasoning with people or even any type of physical intimidation (which is a grave mistake). This can happen to anyone now matter how strong or assertive you are. All it needs is for you to be at the wrong time under the command of the wrong person. It is very powerful and destructive.

[Rex7555]

Take action against workplace bullying. Management will not solve this problem. They are the problem. Politicians and lawmakers have to take action. Canvas them. There are petitions available through the internet. Find live petitions against workplace bullying and sign them. Alternatively submit your own petition.

[hautesauce]

This video is so true.  HR is totally useless when it comes to workplace bullying. In fact, they encourage workplace bullying by supporting their bad managers.

[Hawaiiansky11]

@hautesauce YUP - I found that out the hard way.

[StopWorkplaceBullies]

I don't see this exactly as an "us vs. them" issue. I see it more like "balance of power." Employers need workers and workers need employers. An unbalanced system in favor of either side will fail. Communism (worker centered) and slavery (employer centered) systems both fail. We need reasoned discourse in which both sides can negotiate their interests and arrive at equitable solutions productive for both sides. At this time, IMHO, we are unbalanced in favor of employers.

[LordBifford]

Don't use heavy political words like "communism". Trolls will happily jump on the opportunity to derail your arguments.

[SPOTLIGHTONE]

The Unions are no help at all. i was in a union position and got bullied out, my reputation has been completely destroyed, as well as my good name and self esteem with it. It was also a female, who came into the union with nothing but designs on power. This all started five years ago, and to this day it continues. There is nothing i can do about it. Everybody backs everybody else up, especially in my case, as they do not want to suffer the same retribution

[StopWorkplaceBullies]

It happens everywhere - unions, nonprofits, corporations, education, EVERYWHERE! Nobody helps - not unions, not HR, not management, NOBODY!

We don't duel like Hamilton and Burr although on rare occasions somebody goes "postal." We've also become more interdependent - we can't pack up and go homestead a farm somewhere in the west.

Workers have lost options on the issue of workplace bullies, we need options, but it will take large numbers of us, millions, cohesively demanding change.

[SPOTLIGHTONE]

Ii hear ya! Apparently the greedy and greedier have forgotten all about the french revolution.

But, when it comes down to it, we'll be stormin wall street. Hey! MR AIG! gimme that rolex; i can feed my kids for a year on what you waste at a tittie bar!

[DandDskeeto]

A job is worth what someone is willing to pay for it. Don't begrudge someone for being successful. MR. AIG is entitled to waste the kind of money that would feed your kids for a year. It's his money and this is still a free country. Go ahead storm wall street. let's see how that goes

[DandDskeeto]

What is wrong with the "victim" having a backbone and try addressing it themselves ? Point out to management, HR, etc it's in their vested interest to stop this. ( assuming they can't communicate it directly to the bully )

[JLuso4]

Very very true.

[dutytocareforothers]

This also happens at top tier Texas universities. Faculty instigate this against students that are minorities or that are dissenters. Texas universities have become places for indoctrination, group think, and violation of civil rights. Leave a paper trail, file complaints, and report ALL names and situations to online blogs. The goal is to expose them. Do not do anything illegal because they will have you arrested. These people are sociopaths and narcissists.

[MrOldSlacker]

I've come to the conclusion that the best thing to do when you start a new job is to make all your co-workers think that if you are bullied them you might arrange to have them or their familes killed.

Say stuff like "yeah, I used to know several mafia guys. I used to cut their yards and they loved me. Said they would do ANY favor for me."

I hate bullies!

[2Baiforev]

I agree and workplace bullies are usually the poorest most incompetant workers. Really, yet they get kept on and the good worker has to leave but about 90% of them are miserable cowards and eventually they do get their come uppance.

[eafw1]

That is right bigdog. Most people don't know that personnel is there to protect the company from the employee. That is there only function

[sameerraza2005]

Wow this is so exact to what happened to me!.. I resigned from my place too because after lodging a complaint, things got worst and worst!

[eafw1]

Oh yeah. I got treated like the neighborhood dog who wouldn't go back home. I had a job to do so this periodic comment making or yelling only complicated everything. They got their wish. I went home

[eafw1]

Thank you Sizemores :) The statistics are alarming

[eafw1]

I just yesterday quit my overnite package handler job at a company. A female employee has been periodically verbally assaulting since Nov 08. I tried to shrug it off because she is dating the team leader who I have to answer to. After this last incident two nights ago, I turned her in because I could no longer take her brutal critcisms telling me to beat it get lost. After she was brought in and questioned I knew that reprisal was sure at hand from the boyfriend. And I was a male employee

[SizemoresScience]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. Hope you can move on quickly. Unfortunately, in today's jobs the only legal and effective means to deal with a bullying coworker is to resign. Statistics tell us 37% of workers are bullied, it costs $1.1 trillion a year in the US, and results in 4866 suicides. IMHO our legislators need to take this seriously, but with only a handful of exceptions they do not. Good luck to you and keep in touch.

[noworkplacebullying]

It's almost a crime and nobody sees it except those people who have been bullied by a supervisor who is in the same bargaining unit. They see the bully (who may not have ever paid attention to their union) all of a sudden start going to union meetings and getting elected to stuff. Going to any meeting where the bully is must be retraumatizing.

[bullybehindyou]

Sad, but so true... the drawing perfectly demonstrated what happens at all levels.. especially the unions, who are no good in the end, as they often use the worker (union member) as a bargain chip with the company to achieve other higher aims (other tabled issues, nothing to do with the bullying case).

Most importantly is HR teams ineffective and bungled handling of complaints, and also their cover ups to support the bully.

HR must be exposed, amd witnesses of bullying who do nothing.