Terrible Sequel Headaches (part 8/32)

[ZACKnirvana]

hey did you kill rita?

no

ok, i didn't either!! bye.

[Jetblast01]

Anyone notice the face in the morgue's TV is looking left and right as if he can really see?

[TrynaBeeFunny]

I like how they have caution tape around the murder area, remove the body immediately, and have no cops around the area to prevent people from just walking in there. So is the logic behind this, if we take the body right away, nobody can hide evidence?

[UltimaShadow7]

This game gives L.A. Noir a good run for it's money.

[videogamenostalgia]

Metal Slim Solid: Tactical Hobo Action

[RayTheFox]

At about 3:43, Mike gets under Melissa's shirt!

[murrrrrgles]

Nice Southern Belle impression, Diabeetus. 

[quiteawful]

i must admit i do enjoy some of the music in this game

[Legion7991]

4:37 The better question is: How did he get them on the roof with a ladder?

[grottypissedstained]

"Hey, ya wanna bang those side show broads?"

[MiladyRedeem]

M.C.S: Mike consumes Shinobix.

[TheRsp88]

I'm mildly amused at how the views and likes are going slowly down, as less and less people can be bothered to watch the world's worst point-n-click by the world's worst longplayer.

[MellowMink]

William Hunter and Mike Dawson, the perfect detective team

[ek180]

@MellowMink Billy Hunter might be narcoleptic, but at least he has social skills.and lives in his own 2 sq. ft. apartment.

[flickflack]

So, if Rita was an ex of the sheriff, wouldn't him heading up the investigation represent a massive conflict of interest?

[DemonDarknessLP]

Hi mom.

...By the way, mom did you date Rita?

[phenixflame123]

Is anyone else here loving this series for no real reason?

[1CrazyFoxx1]

The 911 Emergency Number is BUSY?!?!?!

WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF TOWN DO YOU LIVE IN??????

[TheToast7]

@str84ever Aw, I was hoping you were called to answer a question.

[luigiofthefunk]

Hello, 911? What was your relationship with Rita?

[smpletan]

9:04 GO GET 'EM SHADOW

[TheDarkFlame09]

@AVM102296 Blade Hunter: the world's greatest narcoleptic

[Lasty91000]

"I hope they fry your ass."

Yep, this guy will definitely fit in just fine when he leaves Texas.

[snappy2332]

mike dawson kinda looks llike hitler

[smpltan]

With all the Dead to Rights talk in the comments, I'm beginning to wonder if Mike Dawson and Jack Slate had their worlds switched. They still have the exact same personalities as they would in their games, but now Mike Dawson is fighting against criminals and the secret horrible police-state while taking up his grievances with City Hall, and Jack Slate is trying to prevent an alien embryo from being born in his head and then investigating his girlfriend's murder while trying to stop the Ancients

[TheToast7]

@smpltan CAN YOU SAY CROSSOVER?

CAN YOU SAY DARKSEED TO RIGHTS?

CAN YOU SAY ARISE 5???

[pullahoko]

Maybe Killerman killed Rita.

[giygasfeelsgood]

@pullahoko fuck yeah, nice to see im not the only person who knows about illbleed

[paranoidude]

Cherry Ice Cream soda killed Rita.

[MrWeirdGuy]

You know, there are some things that you just facepalm at and wonder why the hell it even exists. And then there's Mike Dawson.

[TheToast7]

@NostalgicSince2005 Yeah, so at least this longplayer hasn't been doing that (yet). To be fair, 100% completion really helps to convey just how boring this game is to play. I mean, I read slowbeef's Darkseed 2 screenshot LP, where you can read as fast as you want to, and it was STILL the slowest thing ever. It's gotta be the game's fault.

[Trina120889]

ok, so Rita was a whore The mortician is a necrophilia Frank seems like a pedophile/creeper Jack likes it up the butt....24/7 apparently The sheriff is a grumpy old man The jesus freak is crazy The clowns a junky The twins are a sweet heart and a bitch, who both want Mike Dawson's dick The strong man is mentally retarded The deputy has Parkinson's disease Slim seems like the one to masturbate outside everyones window And Mike Dawson has no social skills WTF is wrong with this town?

[NobleKeyblade72]

@Trina120889 Well there ARE only about 8 to 10 people in this town...

[sagacious03]

Honestly, I'm starting to question who's more incompetent: Mike Dawson, who fails at everything from ring-tossing to socializing, or the long-player, who has accomplished next to nothing in about two hours.

[iantheuncountable]

Mike Dawson's head seems strangely empty and unoccupied.

[cogley2]

wheres the other videos?

[MrShadow42]

How much do you want to bet that Mike Dawson really did kill Rita, making this entire game pointless?

[JHawkeye9000]

@MrShadow42 this game's pointless no matter what happens

[SamuraiFoochs]

"Paul, why is there lawn furniture on your roof?" seems like the kinda question that would've been asked sooner.

[KantorekBaumerB14]

dark seed 1 was a bad game, but at least the long player knew what he was doing, this guy is fucking clueless

[AVM102296]

Through Retsupurae we have learned of:

Guy Kazama: the world's greatest soldier

Earnest Evans: the world's greatest adventurer

Sho: the world's greatest ninja

Mike Dawson: the world's greatest detective

[razor8191]

@AVM102296 You forgot Captain Rammer: the galaxy's greatest starfighter.

[WilliamLongfellow]

@AVM102296 Don't forget Snoopy, the world's greatest PINHEAD

[QuinMantha]

@AVM102296 Guy Kazama is also the world's greatest Super Hero as well.

[GTAfan421]

@QuinMantha Hey, lets not get ahead of ourselves now...

[MitchZer0II]

@AVM102296

Joystick: the world's greatest pilot

[chaffXgrenade]

@AVM102296 Jack Slate: the world's best AND worst cop

[TheToast7]

@AVM102296 Let's not forget Blade Hunter, the world's best jumper, and Snoopy, the world's most cool person. And the BarTENder, world's best pimp?

[MoonshadowCaz]

@AVM102296 Blade Hunter: the world's greatest private investigator

[FoolyCoolyMabase]

@AVM102296 Correction required:

Mike Dawson: the world's greatest

[ggami7]

@AVM102296

Don't forget NOT SHANE: the world's greatest cowboy

[hitjohnyup]

@AVM102296 Billy M.C.: the world's greatest Let's Player.

[MellowMink]

@AVM102296 William Hunter from Rise of the Dragon is the best detective

[EdmacZ]

@AVM102296

And just recently Cobra: The world's greatest space adventurer.

[spartan117ak]

@AVM102296

Bruce Wayne: Rich 

[KingdomHeart723]

@AVM102296 And, of course, Jack Slate: the world's greatest Police Officer.

[Kraehe]

The cherry ice cream soda machine repairment guy killed Rita.

[SirTotallyAwesome]

@TheAnswerFortyTwo could not stop laughing

[KaminaDies]

Boiling pot of water, how well did you know Rita?

[ChaladanX]

I'm seriously surprised that Mike hasn't been arrested for interfering with the peace, or whatever.

[DMAN123223]

Hey Beef how well did you know Rita?

[RynoZodiac]

The real killer... is man.

[Neotails8762]

Sprite layering fail at 3:42.

[CastlePokemetroid]

@Neotails8762 There's much more than that.

[Munkimanz]

im pretty sure this game could be completed in about 10 or 11 videos, if this longplayer didnt bumble around the same areas 4 times >.<

[WhiteTiger225]

@Munkimanz Longplayers do 100% Completion.

[Munkimanz]

@WhiteTiger225 no, as in he went to the same people asking the same things like three times. there is such a thing as a walkthrough if hes really that stuck.

[TheToast7]

@Munkimanz If you listen closely, most of the time the people say different things each time he visits them. It's stupid, but the longplayer is at least being considerate. Considerate to the 1% of the viewers who want to hear every last line, but considerate nonetheless.

[PsychicBluthSnake]

This game would be a thousand times better if Mike Dawson was replaced by Jack Slate! 

[Algahiem]

Mike Dawson: Hey, Mom. Did you kill Rita?

Mike Dawson: Why yes, dear. What did you think I was cooking on the stove for the past few days?

[ChocolateLink]

Who reads tags.... You missed pal.

[PTp1ranha]

I like that Paul guy, he's just so weird.

[Meloncarty]

Slowbeef, I know you can pull through this. You've watch a lot of shitty let's plays and played shitty flash games.

Make it all the way and I'll give you a cherry ice cream soda.

[RedSHARK6]

Did Mike Dawson kill Rita? Or did fame?

[DrBob66]

ring toss hahaha you missed pal

[SkuttieG]

Mikes wet pants, did you murder Rita?

[TehEvilChicken]

It would be amazing if he really did ask Slim what he knew about 9/11.. I mean, at that point in time it'd be 6 years til it actually happened

[thisshouldsay2K]

911 was BUSY?!?!? Well, I guess I'll call the suicide hotline instead, brb.

I'm back. That was busy too.

[Nionivek]

@thisshouldsay2K The unfortunate implication is that the Sheriff actually keeps the phone off the hook so no one can bother him in his office giving him more leizure time, making him quite corrupt.

Were Mike the sort of person who possessed intelligence or had the ability to exert effort, he could easily use this to get him arrested. THOUGH given that the only reason Mike isn't arrested on the spot is the Sheriff's incompetence... Keeping him on the force is beneficial.

[lobsopdoy]

Oh man, imagine a crossover game featuring Guy Kazama and Mike Dawson working together.

[DorianCairne]

@lobsopdoy Impossible; putting the sheer badassery of Guy Kazama and the sheer patheticness of Mike Dawson anywhere near each other would be like dividing by zero.

[thatguy1145]

Isn't obvious guys? Jack Slate killed Rita! He got 5 cigarette packs for it too, what a deal! Seriously though, what the fuck is Mike doing? There's no point in being cleared of murder if everyone in town fucking hates you.

[TheToast7]

@thatguy1145 Sounds like Mike should take up his grievances with city hall.

[posthumanfetus]

@TheToast7 I'm pretty sure if Jack Slate ever talked to Mike Dawson, he would just say "FUCK YOU!" and "You have the right to remain SSSILENT!"

[TheToast7]

@posthumanfetus What about "He walked in like his mom owned the place, which meant she probably did."

[RoyStorey]

You're such a petty douchebag Jimmy.

[huntertwothousand]

Being in Darkseed 2 killed Rita. It's pretty deep, I wouldn't expect someone who hasn't taken Mike Dawson's game design class to understand it.

[Ygdrasel]

@huntertwothousand

No, no, no! The clown was paid by Mike's mom to kill Rita because she ruined the boiled water!

[Brainstrain]

"Uh? I'm not ready for some football!"

[Dreadmonkey1]

During the pool hall scene, Mike Dawson's mustache makes him look like he has his mouth open

[Nshankoff1]

Arthritis, did you kill Rita?

[Noisemaze]

3:05 There WAS a magic bullet. When fired it went forward in time and killed Rita. Oswald killed Rita, Mike Dawson killed Kennedy.

[KKoserYaks]

Man 1: "I heard that Mike Dawson is so stupid that he actually thinks he dated Rita!"

Man 2: "I heard he killed Rita in cold blood and severed her head!"

Me: "I heard he's a giant chicken."

Let's see how many of you get this one...

[posthumanfetus]

@KKoserYaks Chicken Boo?

[KKoserYaks]

@posthumanfetus Well that didn't take long :P

[posthumanfetus]

By the way, the Trinity Killer killed Rita as a final "fuck you" to Dexter.

[posthumanfetus]

I love slowbeef's laugh right after Mike tries to be tough to Jimmy. "Listen up, Gardner! I've got some questions to ask you!" slowbeef: "THBBPPTTHHHH!!!"

[Physhi]

Diabeetus sounds like he's out of insulin.

[double0nine009]

who didn't kill rita?

[razor8191]

I think Rita killed herself after finding out she was going to be in Dark Seed II.

[AdvanceSockem]

Grotty piss-stained toilet, did you kill Rita?

[spiderman4112003]

hose water, did you kill Rita?

[KitttenMistress]

The reason Slowbeef sounds like that is because he killed Rita.

[OniLinkPlus]

Rita died when she realized this town is nuts.

[CyanFunk]

I think everyone killed Rita.

Except for Mike Dawson.

[Fishmon14]

The butler did it!

[Kuronji]

This part was rather tough to sit through...with the whole talking to the same people over...and over...and over. We need some dark world action!

[Zknight7126]

I killed Rita and framed Dawson to kill him off to save you guys, apparently it didn't work...

[b74k3]

Doc Larson, did you know a certain "Foghorn Leghorn" before coming to this town?

[nakateconroy]

Boiled Water, did you kill rita

[woodALIVE]

What's your relationship with Rita, Retsupurae?

[Megamaniac610]

I think Rita was just letting Mike think they were dating to get him off her back. He's the only guy in town she didn't sleep with.

[HankHillTheBloodHawk]

Mike Dawson: Private Eye.

[chaffXgrenade]

I recently watched the ENTIRE 2nd part on Blip the other day.

I honestly don't know if I can handle any more of this without losing my mind. :/

[DarkOmegaMK2]

I KILLED RITA!!!

[Ezo945]

I have a c++ programming book by Mike Dawson. Seriously. It's called Beginning C++ Game Programming.

[shoplifting1is1fun]

@Ezo945

Haha, looked it up and found his webpage. He uses a screenshot of himself being brain-raped by alien in Darkseed 1 as his picture.

[pHr33kAcHu]

@Ezo945 they kinda mentioned that in the first RP for the first game ¬_¬

[superpika237]

I bet... the Masked Man did it!

[planetaryconquest]

What would I pay for Jack and Shadow to come by and just murder everyone, since no one is doing real 'justice' work here.

dead to rights.

[PickpocketSan]

Ridley, did you kill Rita?

[steveharley0345]

Hey pool hall, did YOU kill Rita?

[Dabutcha22]

Everyone is grieving Rita's death, but noone will grieve Mike Dawson's.

[KiteStrongart]

God DAMN IT. I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT.

[GeneralcornrowWalice]

i love you guys, and one question, what was YOUR relationship with Rita?

[videogamenostalgia]

@GeneralcornrowWalice well how well did YOU know Rita? because I definitely didn't kill her. Nope, if you were to make a chart of people who killed Rita, I would be RIGHT on the bottom. Uh-huh. No siree, Killing Rita is my least favourite thing in the world. On a scale of 0-10 (10 being the highest), killing rita is like a 0.0000001 for me. Seriously, I didn't kill Rita. Oh, and if you were wondering, if a person called Rita were ever to...say...die...well then I definitely didn't do it.........

[Mastermax345]

@GeneralcornrowWalice Well, let's just say she got around.

[GWJumpman]

By the way, don't go on an intermission. This is fucking gold.

[0987cheez]

The sheriff sounds like Hank Williams trying to do a bad Hank Hill impersonation.

[gaminggoddess85]

Everybody killed Rita.

[MousePunk]

Slowbeef is actually the Joker. This Long Play is how he got the scars.

[fastbreak333]

Why does this game think that antagonizing the whole townsfolk is a good thing to do? Does this really help move the plot along or does this longplayer have to show every action?

[Nshankoff1]

Metapher.

[chosentonessournotes]

I really do think that this game was LPed by a robot. They go in a constant loop each time they question people. And say the same thing almost EVERY SINGLE TIME.

[6Shooter28]

How goes the peeping, Tom--I mean, Mike?

[DJCuellRebirth]

This is awesome stuff. I'm looking forward to the part where they say

"Toilet, did you kill Rita?"

[DaRkLoRdZoRc]

@DJCuellRebirth *flush*

[ChibiWaira]

Hey, camcorder Let's Plays, did you kill Rita?

[ElementAlucard]

Comment section did you kill Rita?

[TheRetroman]

@ElementAlucard Actually, yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry...

...I'm sorry...

[ElrondHubbard54]

The town in this game is populated by morons.

Mike Dawson is a moron.

The guy playing this game is a moron.

The people who made this game were morons.

We're all morons for watching this. It all adds up to the ugly truth:

We all killed Rita.

[Hamsteere]

@ElrondHubbard54

Hey, ElrondHubbard54 did you kill R-

Oh...

[DorianCairne]

@ElrondHubbard54 Wow. That actually makes some sort of bizarre sense.

Yeah, poor old Slowbeef and Diabeetus are the only non-idiots in this whole equation. Poor guys are caught in the eye of a whirling storm of idiocy. They're probably used to it by now, though.

[mrmorozov9]

I'm pretty sure that every time Mike stops and looks at the camera, he's pondering if the player killed Rita.

[MalusCalibur]

I'm starting to wonder if the 'constantly talking to every NPC' thing is part of the game, or if it's the player getting stuck and trying to find out what to do next.

[bobbinsthethird]

Hey Rita, did YOU date Rita?

[RedSHARK6]

Hey Jack did you murder Rita?

[uhhhhwhaaaat]

If I Did It by Mike Dawson ...forward written by O.J Simpson

[GrimHeaperThe]

You are a redneck if you killed Rita.

[Level1Slime]

Dave-O killed Rita, that's why he disappeared so suddenly.

[KingKiddoh]

Slowbeef, did you kill Rita?

[EinDose]

I hope Paul turns out to be a robot or something. There's really no other explanation for him.

[FEfan56]

Paul sounds a little bit like Lava Clam from the Prime LP whenever he talks

[inferno232]

Since it sounds like Rita was basically the town prostitute, I'm beginning to think that a time-traveling Jack the Ripper murdered Rita.

[GoodCanBeDone]

Hank's Diner < The Barber Shop

[GungraveFreak]

"If I Did It" by Mike Dawson

[a1b2m13]

Broken soda machine, did you kill Rita?

[arcindian]

if i had to play this ill shot myself, but watch someone else play and make fun of it is to fun to pass up.

[Elastikid]

Hey Dexter Morgan, do YOU know who murdered Rita?

[MellowMink]

Slowbeef, do you actually have to talk to all these people multiple times to advance the game or is the long player just going for 100%?

[darkchiron]

@MellowMink You don't actually have to do all this stuff the guy was doing (like playing the carnival games like 3 times). The long player was just wasting time, or just didn't know what he was doing.

[inferno232]

@MellowMink This person is going beyond 100%, from what I can tell, based off the comments the two make.

[Ridleykiller146]

Or maybe it was the toilet..

[shockraid1]

Slowbeef sounds like he's about to die.

[M30W3R]

@shockraid1 MIKE DID YOU KILL SLOWBEEF

[TheIr0nMike]

@shockraid1 You're surprised?

[GTAfan421]

@shockraid1 I would be if I were him.

[troysson81]

@shockraid1:

But Mike totally didn't do it.