you got some talent, but this piece seems like you are trying too hard to be a slam poet. Your potential would increase once you move past that. Be patient with your work and get past cliche' voices and rhymes. You have a good way of seeing the world. Keep writing, and keep performing. In all things you do be original. I will give you a first draft that i performed the other night at an open mic.
That was amazing sanger. My favorite one.
bloodsick12 9 months ago
Good Job :)
kiskha 1 year ago
It's my first poem. I know it sucks haha.
sanger8990 1 year ago
@sanger8990 doesnt suck at all. it is really good. i wasn't tryin to sound like i didnt like it. i really did; i just dont think it is done
ApolloPriest 1 year ago
you got some talent, but this piece seems like you are trying too hard to be a slam poet. Your potential would increase once you move past that. Be patient with your work and get past cliche' voices and rhymes. You have a good way of seeing the world. Keep writing, and keep performing. In all things you do be original. I will give you a first draft that i performed the other night at an open mic.
ApolloPriest 1 year ago
Comment removed
thismanonfire 1 year ago
damn man thats some good shit
Anaya10101 2 years ago
Amazing talent, Sanger. You have an impressive command of rhythm and sound - but more importantly an impressive command of compassion. Keep writing.
WIDEMOUTHBASS 2 years ago
That was dope!
sheardenator 2 years ago