joaquin Phoenix retired

[HonRevPTB]

LOL! I hafta agree with you man!

[JSKaoru]

Why is Joaquin Phoenix doing this to us?!

[lovefaith23]

totally reminds me of ashton kutcher!! Agreed!

[WolfmansBrother321]

i liked the "peace out mothafuckas" at the end.

[AhYaOk]

yeah really. i had my own place when i was 8. 8 yrs old is old man

[DawnLaurene]

humourous, intelligent, and not at all a pain upon the eyes... Despite the fact that I wonder which way he swings, and think he may wonder too... Adorable! Keep it coming...

[beccalee69]

I'm 18 yrs old and I've never had a cell phone, what do you think my friends call me?

[x0smiles01]

those big white vans are called rape vans

[downthefaith]

Rap? I heard one of his tunes it's R&B.

Ahhhh i hope he dont try to rap out.

[JoaqDoc]

We're working on the documentary about Joaquin's transition to rap and are currently looking for extra footage from Jaoquin's concerts, if you want to submit this video for possible inclusion in the film, visit joaqdoc (dot) com

[emabreezy]

joaquin wants to be a rapper!

[lemon4candy]

lol you're on video you're on video. i'm gonna send it to all my friends

[Dannyfan1997]

I'm thirteen & i dont have a phone :)

[iljmhh911]

"just pretend, just pretend.." ROFL i think i pissed myself. :D

[MaximRick]

yeh man that phoenix news hit me as a surprise too.

The guy didn't just retire i think he lost his damn mind. Watch his recent interview hes ridiculously doped up.

[poisongxrl]

damn hes hott!!

[bonethug67]

Agree or disagree. This guy's speaking reminds me of Ashton Kutcher. Let me know what you think.

[Gussaight]

That's what I thought first time I saw one of his movies as well. He must be Ashtons long lost brother or something!

[romanceisdead4]

just a little bit. reminds me of ashton on punk'd.

[mfgunit]

i want to sucker this dude right in the eye. ah so annoying

[CarrieDianne]

I'm sorry - then remind me again why you watch videos you find "annoying"?

Just puttin' it out there.

[gpappas160]

horrible video! waste of time!

[cristia74gr]

You are wierd Bro don't try too hard let it SLIDE ,oh and if you kidnapp Joaquin let me know Ill send you my address,lol

[funkjeezy]

lol

[liamrowe1]

shit

[stopfoolishness]

who's this nuts entrataining anyways. man get u a job.

[ScienceOverDogma]

Lrn2 spek engrish.

[VFoVendetta]

lulz rite?

[webcrawler491033]

major lulz.

[eequanimity]

Hah love it.. "I need my Joaquin Phoenix" .. I agree :)

[gaurav1221]

shove*

[gaurav1221]

shock your dicks up ur hoes bitches

[dottoreguzmanrulz]

ha ha ha that was fuckin hilarious

I was the shit when I got a pager

ha ha

[flowrestling135]

im missin the point

[21SWEET08]

that was so funny but u was chattin a whole load of shit. But keep on doin wat you are doin.

[cutieluvsyou08]

hey!! i work for best buy. and have to sell those goddamn replacement and protection plans.. but hey we had a competition and i sold the most.. and got a free nikon camera... :) thanks to people like you

[craeli]

who the fuck is this dude, hes boring thx for wasting my time.

[royallyrotten]

:) I like it

[Merciuscb]

you're like David Beckhams son..

[hodown94]

more like David Beckham's anus

[davidmachale]

cunt

[kellyroscoe]

uh, is this a monologue? i hope you are at least enjoying a cocktail telling someone this shit instead of a camera. dork

[hulkmam3]

those big white vans. I always thought they were child molester vans too.lol

[butternuttt]

there is no future for you in television/film dude.

[bighrabovsky]

Are you stupid

[Gibsonway]

xDDD

I thought I was alone in thinking that those white vans were total molester/ creeper vans. I used to run from them. And now whenever I'm in the car and I see those vans I'm like "Ho' shit! I bet a child is in the back of that van but I'm afraid to call the cops because I might be wrong and get arrested and get raped in prison" D:

I sure as hell didn't have a cell phone in elementary school. I got one in eighth grade 'cause My momma started going on business trips and I needed one.

[dayminerva]

What's a GD?

[kobewars87]

i want you, in and around my mouth.

[CloudNine9136]

This guy is a dildo.

[MarakanaSeverBGD]

U suck DUDE

[fairytale1567]

you sound and kinda look like Ashton Kutcher your a hottie. but kind of a jerk lol

[countrysgirl]

i'm pretty sure if you're sitting around watching youtube videos, you do not need to be telling this guy to get a job.

if you don't like, don't watch it...

[clarkgable22]

you gobshite!!!!!!!!

cop on

[xilix]

You guys are assholes, this guy is hilarious.

[omgavailablename]

I dont remember clicking on the "listen to a dueche flap his lips while looking at his stupid head" link.

[fatsvernon]

Wow man....that was really bad. Not even listenable. I got half way thru and realized I was thinking about something else. You should polish your stuff in front of the mirror, do it live somewhere to gauge the crowd reaction, adjust, and then try again. Otherwise, hang it up man. Just because your friends may enjoy interacting with you and tell you that you can do a one-man-show, doesn't mean they are right.

[snatcherz2]

!!!! LAME !!!! WTF R U TALKIN ABOWT

[MBravestarr]

This was a huge waste of time, if you like to hear yourself talk so much, do it in front of a mirror. We don't need to see a video of it. Especially when it takes up a spot on MY search qeue.

[krazeemarx]

wow.......ok the first rant was ridiculous! and your transition from the 8yr old topic to joaquin was embarrassing!

[manazma]

Uhh...What the... No.

Love the camo though.

[MimmieMimmie]

You're a very handsome man. Is that why you made this video, to show your handsome face? I am assuming that's the case, because your blather is rather embarrassing otherwise.

[jeffie2381]

dude seriously, stop maiing videos if they r just full of this senseless bulls@#t. u suck so bad, u have no timing or humor. ur not ashton kutcher so stop trying to be like him. and dont repeat ur wanna-be punchlines so many damn times over and over.

[liljoniscrunk]

dude seriously, stop hating :)

[korndud]

lol wtf was the first half of this video about?

[m9740]

Idiots

[F0Xhound009]

you sound like ashton kutcher, u kinda act like him too

[MBravestarr]

I hate Ashton Kutcher.

[kievqueen]

I ALSO LOVE GLADIATOR! lol

[kievqueen]

you're hot

[melissalis89]

LMAO u r funny. LUV it !!

and the cell thing is true. my ex's daughter is 8 and she has an iphone....yea i know...

[shadyman2000]

His character said, "there is no risk in it. Sometimes you just feel dead." I think that speaks a lot of his situation here. He is living life the way he wants to. He is taking a risk. He gets it - in his own way.

[couchaleteRobinson]

can u believe that? believe that? believe it? Cuz i dont believe it, can u believe that?

[thecupboard87]

yer......ur kinda really annoying man....can't even get through the whole video without feeling like killing something

[ElanaZab]

When you were a little kid, you probably couldn't find your back end. This was not only moronic, but you sucked people into watching by being lame and deceptive. Bravo for you genius!! I'm embarassed FOR you!!

[TKRILLY]

this idiot makes me ashamed to live in Minnesota. How annoying, he's trying to be Ashton Kutcher and trying to become famous, even though he is lame and boring. What an idiot.

[elmilenio]

what an ass....ESTUPIDO

[walabamadam]

after 40 seconds of this shit i am bored, its like some bad emulation of ashton kutcher

[nicko978]

lol I felt the same way

[Schmidtmau]

wow...that was shitty... i mean really bad... i never post responses but this made me want to.............garbage

[rotolo]

take a breath hoe me!!

[makkais]

ashton kutcher had a facelift? too bad he didn't change his shitty sense of humor..

[gbgkille24]

ahh maby hes saying hes as fucked up as joaquin!

[jeremyowns18]

shit is hella retarded

[CoyoteHC]

you suck.

[punkska8]

man that was terrible. what a boring sense of humor.

pagers are tight though. haha.

[marismusica]

so what about joaquin phoenix?

[Schmidtmau]

if you would have watched the whole video you would have seen him say he would kidnap joaquin phoenix and film him because he loves his work so much.... dont respond to a video unless youve seen the whole thing

[marismusica]

Wow-God forbid I ask a question. Don't put subject on videos that you mention AT THE END. If you cant handle comments DONT PUT VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE... WHATEVER.

[Schmidtmau]

its not even my video.. i hated the video.. if you couldnt tell my name is different than the name that posted the video.. your dumb

[marismusica]

ok-soooo then why are you even commenting in the first place if it's not your video? how old are you 12? seriously. why did you even respond to my question that wasn't even directed to you. Dude-stop wasting my time.

[Schmidtmau]

faggot... thats the only response i have for you.. and its the last response i have for you... peace faggot

[marismusica]

Wow you're not 12 your 5 years old. LOSERVILLE IS THAT WAY...

[edscissprs08]

why is this named incorrectly?

[NicknameAvailable]

shit!

[hxtrjeff]

hahahaha.. i had to wait for the clicks myself.... haha great video bro.. subscribed!

[mizking20]

i had a cell phone in 5th grade and we still ran from big white vans... and it does make u cooler to have a cell in elementary cause when i had one most kids didn't have one.. i think the reason he retired is cause it doesn't intrist him so he wants to do somethin else..

[Mortis100187]

u r a retard, enough said

[Cheeea92]

theirs something wrong with your face i don't know what i is i want to strike you with a tire iron no one cares about your homo crush or your kid issues i hope you trip and hurt your ankle

[TruthSurge]

If a 2 year old dialed 911 I'd be very impressed. 8? Come on. Pets have called 911, man!

[LUKASJONES1]

waste of time...do stand up in a club homie~

[bigtq254]

wtf. thanks for waistin almost 4 minutes of my life that ill never get back.

[davidm2566]

If it was that annoying to you, why did you watch the entire clip. Did you really think this guy would ever be funny?

[marismusica]

LOL-exactly.

[rocdamc]

WOW

[iwasadeum]

but when you were 8 did your mom almost die

[mkunzman]

man do you even have any kids??? shut up and talk some shit about something you have direct involvement in the outcome of.

[jt43x]

annoying, SHIT  HEAD

[grice003]

is this supposed to be funny because it's far from funny...also it sounds extremely gay/serial killeresque saying you are gonna lock him in your basement and film him...you should probably think about what your saying before you actually say it

[colimarietm]

how do you turn a boy into a man. . . you make him chase you around for a while, hope he buys you ring and make him leave you alone to do your own thing.. . . pisses me off. . . he aint gonna shake your hand and call you a queen, leave his ass.

[Jaymeizter01]

You remind me of a friend of mine

[faxstax]

this guys a faggot.

[Aries0913]

xoxo

[ToiletEarth]

Kike

[johnpanasuk]

this guy really likes to suck off ashton kutcher... and they both suck

[Lifesucksdie123]

i tea-bagged this guy once.

[sancho8214]

Joaquin Phoenix is gonna be bigger than tupac! Girl fill ma!

[delb9]

you are insane and stupid..

[sancho8214]

Joaquin/Tupac... Fill ma!

[4208jason]

how do you get a dog from stop humping your leg? you pick it up and suck its cock

[Jbuzz1113]

This dude is a d bag

[ElDucenolan]

OMG this shit is tiring.

Never seen someone trying to be funny so freeking hard as this dude though

I'll give him that.

Truly hope he'll destroy his current camera as well.

Saves me the agony of watching more of this garbage...

[davydawgdawg]

your just as funny asshole

[sorryapieceofpapers]

like, you know. i mean. whatever dude.

grow some real facial hair you fucking dill.

[BamBamBRITO]

how does this have 10 000 views? sseriously?

[mattandcrista]

Your awesome! LOL

[sentient001]

Neiler eh.. On your knees quite often? Seems you could be the cock sucker. This guy in the video is a goof.

[Neiler20]

shut your mouth ya american cunt .. . go suck your mothers cock.

[DamevsDame]

man this shit make me laugh everytime!

[eaglebynature]

same here with the pager! :D man ..those days .. having a pager was HOT! .....miss those days ..:)

[DamevsDame]

hahahahaha BIG WHITE VANS

[danebolton]

man it was good till you said "peace out motha fuckas" at the end

[Kandarr]

This video is lame, and the guy in it is a douche.

[GoatcowSandwich]

Agreed.

[9095]

damn i thought the last video i watched about joaquin was boring..

[iateutube]

you fucking suck dude your honestly not funny at all and completley embrarresing.

Just cause u are good looking doesnt mean u can be an actor. Eat a bag of cock

[theclockstickin]

did this dudes nuts get ripped off. why is your voice so screechy

[morfilms]

garbage

[writeinyourvote]

you're great man :) what part of MN you from?

[JerraLs]

hes 8 not 1. most 8 year old kids can use a phone lol.

your too hot to just be on youtube.

[Steadno]

kidnapper vans lol

[oxforddictonary]

i love when he sings ''peace out muthafukaaas" in each video...it makes my day ;p

[yourface199]

that isnt really a super hero it would be if he was like 3 or 1

[masonfain]

You stink, no wait, you suck.

[evolume]

phoenix will be a RAPPER produced by P-Diddy.

[BrunetteBarbie1717]

Wow I agree with you 100% my 9 year old brother has a cell phone and has had one since he was 5, whats the big deal!!! the kid isn't no super hero.

[michiganprada]

lolol I seen that on the news here in michigan

[Shhadoww1]

i ant got a cell and im in high school. lol i just steal my friends

[dalayiah]

ur hot

[Hilo322]

dude you are funny but hey I work for Best Buy beeatch and we are the shit. True, some of that replacement plan shit requires it to be sent out for servicing, but you shoulda read the fine print!! I still love you man, keep it real

[hulsey187]

Ahaha Pedovans XD Me and a few friends made a song about pedos

Pedo, pedo, pedo

Trying to get me

Pedo, pedo, pedo

I'll kick you in the knee.

Ahaha yeah...

[roflzofl]

YOU ARE SOOOOOOO COOOL not

[hulsey187]

What do you consider cool? Bashing people who mind their own business because you have nothing better to do? Hmmm... in that case you're right, because I have a life... oh how uncool of me.

[roflzofl]

hee hee youre so totally right and i couldnt care less so dont waste energy typing back to this

[flickhead]

Not funny.

[thesocalal]

haha fucking dale. for real dude 8 c'mon

[THEtinybrat24]

I know!!!!:)

kelso!

[THEtinybrat24]

ashton kutcher duplicate

[julia2334]

oh my God, you're right!

[jimmykat069]

ya we should kidnap more kids that will show them.

[joaqsbabe]

HAHAH ...:) Nice video:) You remind me of Ashton Kutcher, you sorta look like him:)

[Phantrax]

Is that how you people pronounce his name? ;O

[Robyn408]

how would you pronounce it?

[craiger5]

WAHKEEM FEENIX

[Robyn408]

??????

[desertshore]

u actually purcha$ed a bestbuy warranty?! duuude wtf...

[Eric2221]

Stumbled on your vlog man, I remember seeing your name when I lived in the Cities. Good stuff man...keep up the profound randomness bro!

[shotgunangel13]

hilarious and hot!!!!!

[ELAZIGMN]

is he from Minnesota?

[Jimm7675]

oh dude youre so hot and so funny..youre the shizz

[Julsinmaine101]

Im new to your videos but have to laugh with your'peace out MF'S

[electrosash]

yeah, 8 years old is fucking old. they should honor freaking dogs that dial fucking 911.

[rainbowsandwar]

"What're you gonna kidnap me, got it on video, got it on video, gonna send it all to my friends." hahahh!!

"I'm gonna like, kidnap you and stick you in my basement and be like: just pretend, just pretend." hahahh! what is up with all the kidnapping talk?

You are awesome; I have to subscribe. I never see anyone on youtube who's from Minnesota, either. So that's a double-subscribe right there.

[trlstaff]

AWESOME, too funny with the basement thing!!

[omgitzkriis]

you look nice with your buzzcut :)

[sarakprincess]

I wish I could kidnap u and put u in my basement so u could pretend for me! Oh I don't have a basement, I will get back to u with my idea!