A favorite military joke

[ACCFJeremiah]

I don' t get it

[MrBarri13]

Best version

When the Navy orders "Secure that building," it means turn out the lights and lock the doors.

When the Army orders "Secure that building," it means post an MP and no one gets in without a special pass.

When the Marines order "Secure that building," they set up a machine gun crossfire, lay down a mortar barrage and call for air strikes and artillery support.

When the Air Force orders "Secure that building,", they take out a two year lease with an option to buy.

[ExteelPhantom]

i Lol'd... xD I Subscribed :D

[kevinfavron]

Awesome

[my15minutes]

tyvm

[kevinfavron]

you in the air force im in the Royal Canadian Horsed Artillery and even though im across the border i know what your talking about

[JokerBama]

Haha. Good one! Off we go! Into the wild blue yonder!

[jessekarate08]

....HOOAH!

[chrisqx2]

marines!!!

[sorakeyblade123]

WOOORAH AIRFORCE

[biohazard177]

lol OOH-RAH MARINE CORPS!

[ezeg]

GO Air Force!

[Thorneau]

okay..this damn thing won't load.

unbeleivable!

[my15minutes]

heh. yeah, if you scan the old comments, you'll see that others have had this issue.

maybe if the YouTube admins take up witchcraft, they can fix it once and for all...

ooh. maybe that's it! draw a pentagram on your montior, then hit play again... :D

[Thorneau]

actually...well, never mind. I subscribed to your channel, hope to see more of you in the spring.

[HarveyLocust]

I had to use firefox to get it to load, just wasn't working in ie7.

[kayleewyatt]

I love that joke!

[AdymPerry]

lol! Don't worry I did get it :)

[abortedsoul]

Earned my subscription, right there. Total hilarity.

[my15minutes]

aloha! thanks, matt. :D

[abortedsoul]

I can't believe that I wasn't subscribed before. My loss, apparently.

[JustA11en]

YT is FUBAR at the moment, and I can't see your vid. Kory does great work, and he joined the right branch! JK!

I'll check back later.

[my15minutes]

ha! a quick scan of the comments here will reveal just how fubar it really is! :)

and between this joke? and a quick scan of my 'Best of the Rest' playlist?

you will know what i do, and do not, take seriously, about the service. booyah, allen.

[enjoythevoyage]

LOL! 5 funny stars!

[my15minutes]

thanks! maybe i don't suck at telling jokes after all! :)

you know who's way funnier than me, though? the guy in my description box... :D

[enjoythevoyage]

Thank you! I subscribed!

[litnight]

I've been in the AF, but this joke went over my head...maybe it's an inside thing.

[my15minutes]

or maybe i suck at telling jokes. :D

but i wanted to do some little thing, to dedicate to Kory's shipping out, and this seemed appropriate.

i had to explain it a little better, in earlier comments here, to another friend of mine because he's not American. that might help.

[schmoutube]

For some reason this video takes forever to load... all I see are the little circles spinning clockwise. Is that the joke? Anyway, here I am, I have a youtube identity now. All the good names I thought of (like "showthyself" and "methreeb") were taken. Yer ever lovin' brother... schmou

[my15minutes]

schmou! baby! :)

yes, if you check the comments, you'll see you're far from the only person, for whom YouTube has been wonky lately... :D

[zzz33333]

you're in the military? now what you say to me doesn't matter.

[my15minutes]

i enlisted, as a programmer in the USAF, from 1995-99.

and i can't TELL you how shocked i am, that your response would go something like that... :)

but, as always, zack? muchas gracias for your 2 cents! :D

[conmech]

is that u in the video?

Sorry dude I didn't know u make vids too. I'm subbing right now.

And if u tell the air force they will do three WHAT?

[my15minutes]

yes sir, that is me! :D

i just started, uploading in person, as of November. check the date of that request i uploaded, to Chuck Gamble...

[my15minutes]

and if you have trouble making out what i said, check the earlier comments.

as a Turk, i wouldn't expect you to get it 100%, Efe. my other buddy there, 'wukdar', is from Bosnia. and you 2 already speak better English than many here in the US... :D

[conmech]

i hea yo ma nigga know am sayin?

[my15minutes]

yes, i do. especially since you got that better microphone, a while back! :D

speaking of which, is there a WGOIT episode in the works? or something 'lighter', next?

[conmech]

i'm planning on a collab with Mr Angry. It will be a milestone for me cause I will actually write a script for it, to make it a little longer (5-10 mins) and not to waste our hard work on a 2 minute video.

[my15minutes]

aHAAaa! very cool then! :)

ping me when it's ready! :D

[AngryAussie]

hahahahha I love military humour!

[my15minutes]

hehe! thx. :)

we haz been unmaskt! :D

although, let's face it. everyone could pretty much tell what you looked like anyway. :D

[phaedress]

7:42AM

Oh, there you are!

Um. I think it was funnier before I saw it.

Love the shirt, though.

[my15minutes]

yay! thanks for your comments in the meantime! :D

other than maybe Kim, i think you were the last one! congrats on finally getting through my little joke! :D

[phaedress]

Don't you sleep?

[my15minutes]

eventually, yeah. i just skip every other day or two usually. still way more than i slept as a kid. :D

[phaedress]

You know you're not 20 anymore, right?(although you look 20 -I was shocked to see on your profile we're the same age)

[my15minutes]

i slept once a week as a kid, twice a week in my 20's, and now 3, in my 30's. :D

i figure by the time i get to be an 80-yr-old man, i'll finally be able to get a normal amount of sleep. and i'll have been awake as long as a 120-yr-old.

[phaedress]

2:19AM

I am officially giving up on this joke. Anyone who sees it's working for whom it didn't before...feel free to send me smoke-signals or somesuch.

Thank-you and good-night.

~p.

ohhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmzzzzzzzzzzzzz­zzzz

[warren26peace]

I dont get it :

[my15minutes]

hehe!

s'ok. had a friend from Bosnia watch it earlier, and he didn't get it either. :D

you're welcome to read my brief explanation to him, in earlier comments. :)

good seein' you again, at any rate!

[phaedress]

Actually, on second thought, That IS really funny.

[my15minutes]

yeah, it sorta' is, ain't it?  :)

[daligoddess2006]

hello phaedress, fellow lover of all things zen. =D

[phaedress]

hey Daligodess,

This vid is climbing the "most discussed".

Still swirling.

happy days.

[my15minutes]

hehe! the same 4 ppl coming back, to try to watch one damn joke! :D

thx! if nothing else, maybe someone from YouTube will notice the REASON why so many comments wound up here, and fix whatever it is that's giving you guys the Zen Treatment! :D

[phaedress]

Ever the optimist!

((ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm)

[my15minutes]

'atta girl!  :D

ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[phaedress]

Okay, enough already!

'twas brillig and the slithy toves

did gyre and gymble in the wabe.

All mimsy were the burroghoves,

and the mome raths outgrabe.

[my15minutes]

you had me at 'slithy'!  :D

[phaedress]

There was a young man from Japan

Whose limericks never would scan.

When asked why this was,

He answered 'because

I always try to fit as many syllables into the last line as ever possibly I can.'

[my15minutes]

heh. good one! i'm irish, and i don't know any good limericks! well, none of the ones that you don't already know, anyway. :)

just searched for a good one on the net, but they all sucked! :D

[daligoddess2006]

Yeah, much ado about nothing. Now, that's zen. ;)

[my15minutes]

ooooh, very slick, kim! thumbs up and 2 gold stars for that one... :D

[daligoddess2006]

hehehe, I'm slick like that, it's how I roll. hehehe.

[phaedress]

This had better be one heluva joke.

Almost 200views...I wonder how many of us have just had these zen moments with the whirlithingy.

[my15minutes]

apparently? about half of you!

YouTube had better break out the Mountain Dew, and get the geek squad on this, posthaste. :D

[Oilwellian]

Hehehe...love the joke, errr...TShirt, errr...guy in the TShirt. :D

[my15minutes]

and the guy, err... the joke, umm...

i think i'm trying to say my t-shirt loves you! :D

[phenixwryter]

LoL Its spinning endlessly right now (so I'll be sure to check back), but its a great joke as it stands. : D

[my15minutes]

you know you're fortunate when you have half a dozen friends that keep checking back for a 1-min joke. :)

thx, pw! :D

[daligoddess2006]

P.S. I even faved it. Is the joke that it is never ending, just like the tours in Iraq? Is that it? Did I finally "get it"? Duh, takes me a while...

[my15minutes]

precisely! it's a zen joke! :D

it's the sound of one idiot, laughing!  :D

[phaedress]

O.M.G.!

[daligoddess2006]

I don't mind laughing at myself. Ii keeps me grounded. *laughs again*

[my15minutes]

hehehehe!

still one of the best medicines! :D

[daligoddess2006]

Yes, indeed.

[daligoddess2006]

I still cannot view this video. It forever spins. I thought that's what your Ommmmmmmm was all about. I'll go ahead and give it five stars though. *giggles*

[my15minutes]

ommmmmmmmm

[my15minutes]

e-mail. and yeah, chuck really is awesome. :D

[my15minutes]

hehe! thanks! all i own are t-shirts and jeans now. and that's still one of my favorites.

my all-time favorite shirt, though, is the one i was wearing in my 'Thank you Chuck' clip. that's my Lou Gehrig jersey. :)

[my15minutes]

Dario - hehe. yes, i was in the Air Force. :D

the shirt i'm wearing?  i got in Basic Training.

[my15minutes]

sure thing!

the punchline is, "they'll get you a 3-year lease, with the option to buy."

a lease is what you sign, when you want to live somewhere, but not own it. like an apartment. an "option to buy" means that, after 3 years, if you like it a lot, you can also buy the place. the joke being that the USAF is the 'country club' crowd, because we have the fewest combat troops, of the 4 branches.

[2soon2tell]

i'm glad you explained that. i was sitting here with a puzzled look on my face after the punchline. somehow, i thought one of the branches was going to go ballistic on the facility. :)

30 months?! fuck man.

[my15minutes]

2soon - that's the beauty of the setup. the branches throw more and more armament at the facility. :D

i still have to work on my whale oil jokes, though... :)

still think that one of yours was classic, man!

[my15minutes]

Todd - btw. a friend-of-a-friend of mine, is on his 3rd tour there, already. it's appalling, how they're being taken for granted, and abused. this too, shall pass.

[2soon2tell]

i would never abuse those who are there. but i sure as fuck will abuse those who put them there. but that's a different story.

[my15minutes]

yes, it is. i believe HR 333 is the latest chapter, in that story.  i have it bookmarked. :)

[my15minutes]

you too, dario? bah.

i haven't been getting this problem at all, but i know a lot of ppl that are.

on the off chance that this isn't entirely YT's fault...

see if maybe there's a Flash update that you haven't gotten yet?

[phaedress]

Hi.

How's it going?

Heard any funny jokes lately?

~~me neither.

[my15minutes]

still? oy vey.

on the off chance that this isn't entirely YT's fault...

see if maybe there's a Flash update that you haven't gotten yet?

[phaedress]

I appreciate the thought, but I'm not gaving problems with other videos. On the other hand, emails and comments and stuff have gone wonky, too.

Ah, well.

[my15minutes]

i'm sure all the right geeks are working very hard on it, as we speak.

if they need an extra hand, send 'em my way. :D

[daligoddess2006]

I can't see it either. Something must be wrong with YT today. It says I have three new messages, but I can't see those either. ?

[my15minutes]

hehe! it says i have one, as well, that i can't see. :)

i'm sure it'll get straightened out soon.

[jrsnyderjr]

that was funny...punch line delivered well! ;}

[my15minutes]

ty, sir! first of many to come, i hope. :D

[jrsnyderjr]

it does get easier...than people expect it and there's the pressure!

I'm reading the comments, YT has a server that is somewhere, anyway it has bad days and when people hit it vids don't run at times...happened to Matthias' last vid for awhile.

[my15minutes]

yup. saw a LOT of comments, there and elsewhere, regarding that.

i've been completely unaffected, thus far, and think part of it might be that i'm always updating stuff like Flash, new video codecs, etc. typical programmer shit. :)

[phaedress]

grrr!!

Not loading. Oh, how I yearn to laugh: but that dot going in a circle is among the unfunniest things I know.

Come to think of it, if there is one person who could find humour in a circling dot...

~ you may be him.

[my15minutes]

ommmmmm

[daligoddess2006]

lol! now that IS really funny! I was just not thinking the same thing. ommmmmmmmmm

[my15minutes]

humor is where you find it. :D

make sure rmrsgirl sees it, too. wish she'd swing by YT more often again. her Sam Winch clip is still one of my faves, and is in my Best of the Rest playlist. :)

[daligoddess2006]

Yeah, I know. I wish she'd stop by more often too. She is so busy right now with her CD. She just finished a two-month long theater production. Now she is doing a few local gigs so she has a very busy schedule. I'll see if I can snag her for a minute sometime soon.

[my15minutes]

well, i'm glad to hear she's got so many cool things going on, then!

especially the CD. ima' get me one!  :D

[daligoddess2006]

Oh yeah you are.

[bwhahrhr]

I wish the jokes I learnt in the army where at least a 10th as funny as this and not disgusting or discriminating.

Thank you for the early morning smile!

[my15minutes]

yw! those are my specialty! :D

[bwhahrhr]

was a great adition to my grapefruit, cerials and black tea - I could get used to that ;)

[my15minutes]

beware - i don't know that many jokes... :D