2012: What could be politely termed "a review"

[BoogiepopPrime]

Oh ExaggeratedElegy, you hit the nail on the head every single time. :D

[FatRakoon]

So.... Do you like the film or not?

Of everything you have said about the film, I dont think you actually said if you like it or not?

[engelmohr2006]

It had no scientific value what so ever either 100% pure fiction neutrinos from the sun boiling the earths core really how stupid they don't even react the 1 lights years worth of lead let alone boil the core a a planet I agree it was just pathetic whats worse is their are actually people out there who believe this crap so sad really.

[JonesSpirius]

Glad I missed that one.

[gspro15198]

If this is what you think of 2012 i would dread to think what you think of James Cameron's Avatar.

[Gorguruga]

lol.. i thought 2012 was ok bro although fortunately I saw your review before I saw the movie so my expectations were very low. Thanks for raising the enjoyment of what would otherwise have been an almost certain let down! :)

[camelbrain]

I've never enjoyed watching a review/rant more in my life. XD

[gingenroses]

dude, i think i love you lol

[gingerpoker2k7]

Mid nineties disaster film (kind of), Event Horizon. Anyway, just seen Danny Boyle's Sunshine, and its one of those films that you wish you were watching whilst stoned , the others requiem for a dream, natural born killers and fear and loathing in las vegas

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Not particularly Glenn, not particularly :)

George

[barutazaru]

The best bit of 2012 was watching you do a big shit on it just now.

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Hey there Thew :)

And goodness, how satisfying it was!

George

[Eucep]

Swearing in style, hehe. Luckily I wasn't planning on watching this movie. The director doesn't bother me, I actually liked Independence Day for what it is, big giant spaceships of doom. But the topic of this movie in itself, doesn't interest me.

I'm looking forward to hearing your review of UP.

I do wonder on your opinion on Secondhand Lions if you ever had the chance to watch that movie.

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Up will most certainly be a tonic to this frothing rant :)

George

[kinglaffo]

You sir are one of my favorite people of all time

[ExaggeratedElegy]

your Highness! *genuflects* In that case...can I have a barony? :)

George

[CobraCommanderTFW]

ah well i enjoyed the crazy amount of cheese in the movie and i liked the effects in it

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Hey there Andy, one of the things I will concede is that some of the effects were okay :)

George

[somethinglacking1]

I'd love to hear your review on Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen..whih I consider as one of the worst films iv'e ever seen.

[yaldohans]

I actually think you might be a bit generous here, this movie isn't nearly as good as you make it out to be, it's far far worse.

[ExaggeratedElegy]

I know. My powers of articulation fail me when it comes to this one, I'm afraid. I just can't emphasise enough how bad it is.

[XXRACELno1X]

I still liked Walle better than Up but pixar just seems to be crapping awesome now :P

I have to say that I havnt seen 2012. I didnt want to go see it because im shit scared of natural disasters and im not a fan of earthquakes ect. chasing after people. It the kind of movie that would piss me off because of all the technical inaccuracies.

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Agreed on Pixar; they had a bit of a wobble with Cars, that wasn't quite up to the usual standard, but have redeemed themselves above and beyond since.

Don't even begin to think about applying actual physics to this movie, please, for the love of god...

[cubanoafuego]

nice 'review', i pretty much thought the same, and i actually paid money for it *facepalm*. the only thing it didn't have was extreme, gratituous (sexual?) torture violence, but i'm pretty sure they just left that out so they could go for the mediocre 12A rating. otherwise they would have found a way, i'm sure of it. i'm subbed btw :-)

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Many thanks :)

It really was irksome, wasn't it? Ironically, I think they actually managed to get something in a little more irksome than gratuitous sexual torture and violence; the basic extermination of the human race which then has a nice, sunny, upbeat ending because the name star characters happen to survive >:(

[cubanoafuego]

yeah, true enough. this sort of individualist attitude runs through just about every hollywood film.

[berserk2112]

pin-point

it kills me that money goes into shit like this

[ExaggeratedElegy]

And good god, how much money goes into it!!!! For that much money, I don't want a good film; I want a fucking extravaganza!!

George

[jazzxeno]

the moment i saw who directed 2012 and the teaser trailer...i thought - craaaap film.

[Gazvsagacious]

Hi George.. forget it forever and go watch "Ink" (2009) - not horror, but wonderful and interesting and I'd love hearing your opinions on it.

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Ink? I recall hearing about this one, but I never got a chance to see it. Colour me intrigued!

George

[gonkdroid229]

i think u over exagerate a little

[bosskismyhomeboy]

thats his opion but he is right after all

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Just a little :)

[exillionXLR]

Your profanic diversity gripped me good sir. That was an epic rant George and i will not be seeing 2012! :)

[ExaggeratedElegy]

then my work is done :)

George

[thecollector75]

hey george, great vid mate, wasnt planning on seeing this so now i dont there is any chance now lol, love to see your review of giant octopus vs megashark if youve seen it. just ludicrus but at least it didnt take any part of it seriously graham

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Hey there Graham,

If you value your I.Q., I wouldn't advise it :) Can't say I've seen that one, but the title is brilliant!

George

[thecollector75]

if you search the title there is a trailer for it on here,. the bit where the shark jumps out the water and eats a jumbo jet out the air says it all about this film lol

[DavidPrime83]

I would hug you if i was there, Because i completely agree, you but in to words how i felt trying to watch that movie!

[ExaggeratedElegy]

It's actually a painful experience, isn't it? I never knew that the I.Q. could actually hurt before!!

[Drosis]

Excellent "review".

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Many thanks :)

George

[TheDeceptitron]

i knew that movie wasn't going to be any good.that shows how hollywood tries to make money off of everything to with headline topics.i liked john cusack in 1408.

[ExaggeratedElegy]

I was pleasantly surprised by 1408. there aren't many modern horror movies that sustain my attention, but that one did.

[vengeance1701]

*slow claps

Wonderful.

There are bad movies which are knowingly and entertainingly bad...(some might put TF2 in that category)... and then there are...the modern disaster movies. Yea gods, please let them end.

[ExaggeratedElegy]

It's how serious it takes itself...if it had even a glint of irony, of self referential humour, then it would be perhaps bearable. As it is, it just makes you want to dash out your own brains with something hard, jagged and rusty.

[DoctorPrime]

Hey George,

Sorry that you were subjected to this film. It sounded like a traumatic experience (i.e.- "bovine diarrhea".....believe me I understand ;) This is a perfect example of why I avoid seeing films on the big screen, unless I am 95% sure I will enjoy it....and that is rare. I hope the masses see this and listen to you. 5*

Dan

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Hey there Dan,

If I can put even the smallest dints in 2012's profits, I will consider my life worthwhile.

George

[Shadizar666]

5 *'s

for pissing off the wife (I had the headphones off and the speakers on)

she's looking forward to seeing it

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Arrgh! :) I hope I didn't offend :) Introduce her to oen of my more clement videos; she'll see that I'm really a lovely and well mannered young man :P

George

[Shadizar666]

don't worry about it

eventually she will realize that my impressions of movies

based off of their trailers are quite accurate

I told her that g.i.joe wouldn't be worth a crap in the dark

but she rented it anyhow

and of course, was disappointed

[Walabio]

Please, tell us how you really fear. ;-)

[tattooskin72]

So please tell me how you really feel! :)

I will likely not watch 2012 until it comes out on DVD in the $2 bin ;) I've heard so many bad reviews. Most people say it's only good if you want to see the special effects.

[r0b0leadr]

I would not even spend that much, or watch it at all either

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Hey there Michael,

even the special effects are mediocre at best. And it succeeds in making even the most epic of them dull. Yellowstone park exploding into a super state-size volcano should be something spectacular. Instead, it's yawnsome. that's an acheivment in itself, I suppose :)

George

[gaq17]

This has got to be the most amazingly angry review I have ever witnessed... Loved it!! The only reason I had even contemplated seeing this was because it had John Cusack in it, but if it was this bad...even old Cusack can't get me to watch it. Five stars and favorited man!

[ExaggeratedElegy]

It really is this bad. I resent being talked down to by any media, but when said media has this much raw money behind it, I resent it by a factor equal to its budget.

George

[325982668]

are you telling me this was worse than transformers 2????

[ExaggeratedElegy]

far worse. Far, far, far, far, far worse. This has pretensions of syaing and doing something profound.

[AbbeyNormal]

Man, I can't wait for 2012, it's going to be like Y2K again and I'm going to laugh at them, again.

I am having serious doubts about my dad's sanity- he keeps telling me he likes these awful movies.

"An insult to my ass". I will be using this term in the future to describe bad movies :D

[ExaggeratedElegy]

I envisage lots of people who've cashed in all their chips, sold off all their property and likely murdered one or two people they don't like standing around scuffing their shoes, looking at their watches and murmuring: "Oh shit. Wrong again."

[AbbeyNormal]

I'm a former Seventh-Day Adventist and I come from a long tradition of people burning all their shit in preparation for a big event that never comes :D

[bewarethelizards42]

Loved this review, loved it :D

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Many thanks :)

George

[AutobotBlurr]

Dude you are a legend I have never seen such a angry review yet expressed so well. ....... you liked it really didn't you ...go on admit it lol. I agree 100% it is like the outtakes of all the worst Disaster movies. Thank fuck he said this is his last movie of this type. So i wonder what type of film he will butcher next.

[ExaggeratedElegy]

I needed to get it out somehow :) Seriously, even movies I don;t like I can bear to watch now and again; I will NEVER watch this piece of dreck ever, ever, ever again in my life.

George

[jiidee]

The cinema goers lament by ExaggeratedElergy.

[ExaggeratedElegy]

XD

Poetry this one ain't :)

George

[clawdfrawg]

But the question is, did you like it.

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Let me think about that.

No.

;)

George

[Darkasthenight06]

You have obviously never seen Disaster Movie. Disaster Movie makes this look like a masterpiece.

[ExaggeratedElegy]

I cannot even begin to imagine the horrors of this movie.

[lampyman101]

sooooo. marks out of 10......

;0)

[ExaggeratedElegy]

- N to the power of infinity.

[TheTruePhantasm]

*washes George's mouth with soap* i kid i kid.....on a serious note this film is a waste of time, space, money etc.

[ExaggeratedElegy]

it actually makes the world a worse place to live.

[transfan1988]

I can´t remember the last time I felt like that after going to the movies. Was it Batman and Robin? Nah... 10.000B.C.? Nah... Wolverine? Nah...

Well, thank God I have the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trilogy on DVD.

[ExaggeratedElegy]

I can't believe it, but even Batman and Robin is better than this.

[TheTempusFugitive]

Worst film ever...well, I haven't seen it & I won't but even if it is subjective those are some pretty strong words there : D

Plus, do cinemas now accept 'I thought the film was shit' as a reason for a refund? If so I'm owed an awful lot of dough from Odeon : P

-Tempus

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Tempus!

I honestly can't believe it myself. I was speechless for quite a while after leaving the cinema, rendered mute by sheer surfeit of awfulness.

George

[PyjamaPrime]

'bastard-cunting'... wow. didnt think those words could be put together

[ExaggeratedElegy]

This movie makes any combination of pejorative possible and necessary.

[Formlessexpressions]

Damn, That bad huh.

[ExaggeratedElegy]

that bad and worse. I lack the vocabulary and power of articulation to adequately express how awful it is.

[LordCustos3]

Don't candy coat is ExagEleg, tell us how you REALLY feel about it....

Okay, but is it merely worse than 'Showgirls' or is it worse than 'Gigli'?

[ExaggeratedElegy]

It pains me to say that it's worse than both. Both of those movies, hideous as they are, at least have something to distract or entertain in a peurile way. This movie fails even on that basic level.

George

[MrOptimus1984]

it is a pile of crap ive seen it myself

[SICMetal74]

Yeah its really bad!

[Timey2Wimey]

Hi, this is Time Lord! And I approve of this message!

(No seriously, I favoured / 5 starred it and everything!)

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Hey Mat :)

glad to have a Timelord's backing on this one.

George

[madkillermiller]

i know exactly what expect from this film, i just want to see the world get fucked. and i think thats all you get from emmerich. but now i want to see it for how BAD it is. i watched battlefield earth for that reason. there is no way would i pay to see this, thats why i will download it when a better quality one comes along. but now i dont know if i should waste a black disc or 3 precious hours of my life.

i watched "gamer" the other night. it wont win any oscars, but i realy enjoyed it somehow!

[WolfKang1]

Great stuff. The last person I have seen rant like this was my sister and she was dallying with Absinthe at the time. 5*

[ExaggeratedElegy]

I wish I had some absinthe or something otherwise alcoholic for this review. I can only imagine what obscenity I might've spewed at the camera then :)

George

[Skullgrin140]

Your reaction to this film is generally how I and so many people after seeing a  Roland Emmerich film, Great review George.

[ExaggeratedElegy]

this is one of the worst things about it; it's like Roland Emmerich deliberately identifies all of his past mistakes, then ramps them into overdrive. If I didn't know any better, I'd assume that he's actually trying to push the boundaries of how bad cinema can be.

George

[inane84]

So what you say in short is "a must see"??

haha

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Only if you don't want to pay for the lobotomy.

[RazorShultzor]

"A bastard cunting piece of shit" I love these rare times when you get angry :D

[ExaggeratedElegy]

rare, but ironically very much like when yellowstone explodes in this movie :)

George

[destrond69]

the only part of the movie I found interesting was the ending, because it shows why the aliens from District 9 landed where they did lol.

can't wait for the Up review George. one of the best movies I've seen in a long time.

[ghazzter]

You have the most colourful and amusing verbally for a terrible film ever. I've never herd such descriptive and profane profanity in a review before, Well done.

[TheFreelancer2236]

Ending a review with the phrase, "It's a hideous spectacle" just drives home the point. Take away all the ranting and swearing and that one sentence has to be the greatest slap to the face you can give a movie. I'm not chastising you for it, on the contrary, I think you're justified in your words, no matter how vulgar. For some reason that final thought struck me the most. I had no intention of seeing this movie and now I won't even take the time to read a synopsis. Thanks for the warning.

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Now that you mention it, beyond all of the cursing, that was just bilious hatred for a bad product that wasted my time, that final statement is the one that I hope people take away. It is a truly hideous slap to face of cinema as an expressive or artistic medium.

George

[doddi1984]

Whoa!!!! Never seen you in that mood before. This movie must be disastrous to see if you're like that. But is it really worse than 10000 B.C.? I don't know why, but I can't find any movie that is worse than that piece of shit(and what are the odds, made by Emmerich as well).

I was actually excited to go see this movie,

but now I'm not so sure what to do.

Still, this was a wonderful review, George. Hopefully it can help me skipping seeing this movie.

[ExaggeratedElegy]

believe it or not, David, it is even worse than 10,000 B.C. I would never have believed that possible, but Emmerich has proved me wrong.

George

[boxant]

holy crap, it's three hours?!

great review.

[SamNoble89]

I had this feeling while watching king kong. I couldn't get through it.

[pfarabee]

Ooooh, you mention "Up".. great movie! Did you notice the completely out-of-place images in the credits though?

You sit through a fun film about friendship and triumph; the credits have a calming, happy feeling, showing little badges the kid gets for typical kid-type activities.

THEN out of nowhere, you see a badge with the radiation symbol, and the next one has a mushroom cloud, then they go back to normal happy-go-lucky. NWO, anyone? Let's hope the conspiracy nuts don't see it. :P

[ot63]

a bastard cunting piece of shite.

haven't heard that phrase before :)

[pfarabee]

One description that I heard that really fits is "A two and a half hour expansion of the ID4 dog outrunning the fireball"

[RowanFortuneWood]

OminousVoice puts it best, this review is magnificent. It is worth this terrible film existing (although I am glad to say I have not and will not watch it) just because it inspired your fantastic rant against the worse vices of contemporary cinema. 5*/fav.

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Rowan! Wonderful to see you back on the tubes, good sir! many thanks. there was something very therapeutic about making this video; my feelings for 2012 had been pent up for quite some time after experiencing the hideousness of it. Youtube as therapy; hmmm, I think i may need to jot me down some thesis notes :)

George

[GWolfV2]

Also

shites an irish word, get your own!

[VincentWomack]

hey

I sure don't miss much cause I haven't planed to see it anyway... maybe if it's on TV and nothing else is on.

normally I don't listen to people who say "Don't watch this film!" or "You have to see this one". With 'normal' films some say it's good, others say it's bad. But 2010... I haven't heard anyone saying anything nice about it, except maybe the effects and your review was the icing, with a cherry on top.

are you planing to see Avatar?

ciao - Vince

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Hey there Vince,

I most certainly am planning on seeing Avatar, if only for its aesthetics. The movie has massive potential; I only hope they don't sacrifice script and acting for the whizz bang visual imagery.

George

[GWolfV2]

WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

Because this is a bad...bad movie. Asylum level bad.

[ExaggeratedElegy]

Drilling through your eyeballs with a handcranked egg whisk bad, I;d say :)

George

[kinggrimmy]

Well, I was going to see it....

Thanks for the save George!

[nevinyrralsdisk]

I knew I'd never watch it when I saw the trailer with the jet aircraft flying between two falling buildings... through the debris cloud... yeah.

.

[DasAmericanAtheist]

Quite the invective! Such a brilliant talent!

I WAS thinking about seeing this movie, but if George says no...then it shan't be seen!

[BigTransFan]

thanks for the warning.

[ProjectPaladin]

My favourite scene were the ones with the cargo plane, where the actors lament, that because Hawaii was burning, they couldn't refuel and thus wont make it to their destination... And then miracelously the earth axis shiftet just the right way, that the plane would go down in a hundred mile radius of their aimed destination...

Yes, it was bad, but watchable, or let's say, at least it wasn't that bad as Transformers 2, in which I facepalmed my head to shreds... ;-)

[OminousVoice]

Mag-fucking-nificent! That has to be the single most vitriolic review I have ever encountered.

[TGApuleius]

This is how I felt after seeing The Day After Tomorrow. A friend picked that as the movie for us to see together, and it was so, so bad. As if the flipping of roles wasn't hammered into your face enough, they then flat-out TELL YOU it's going on. I know it is; I see it. Then there's the crazy super cold ice that chases people and seems to be confused by doors. My favorite, though, is the end, when the astronauts marvel at how pretty Earth is - ignoring the billions of deaths. Aarrghh!

[KalelPrime]

So best to miss it then lol

[ExaggeratedElegy]

if you value your sanity, Dave, I'd advise it :)

George

[mecher3k]

it's made over 600 million already.....

:(

[tersse]

i said just about the same thing about this movie , it is diabolical.