Top 20 Portal 2 Quotes

[halo3man109]

GLADOS SHOULD HAVE ME A LEMON AND ME CALL LEMDOS

[Joker316RS]

There's not much in Portal 2 that wouldn't qualify to be in a "Greatest Quotes" list.

Plus you completely missed all of Glad0s' saying in Co-op

[Wittgensteinien]

What the shit? "Yea, yea! Take the lemons." What the hell is going on back there?

[katyagorm]

'I LIKE THIS GUY.'

[GhettoMcMuffin]

@Kevpew WOW you have missed a lot I recently got it and it is the greatest game I have ever played

[lavamoka]

Haha everything that GLaDOs said should be a quote in this

[ttv0]

if the laws of phisics no longer apply in the future may god help you

[Kevpew]

I bought this on the Christmas sale and still haven't played it.. not even once.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

[pichu2415]

lemons... XD

[weyandt123]

wait.... why havent i played through this yet?

[iWATCHITT]

SMOOTH JAZZ WILL BE DEPLOYED IN...3....2...1...AWESOMENESS.

[funny0anime0lover]

WITH THE LEMONS!

[BigMacOnCrack12]

@rsdpioneer10 That's how it should be in all games that require door hacking

[BigMacOnCrack12]

@xXHIDDENCAM0Xx Haha me too

[xXHIDDENCAM0Xx]

i thought glados was going to say you are a whore

[rsdpioneer10]

Ok im gunna have to hack this door, very technical... just turn around *bashes the window* there, hacked

[TheSkrillexKiller]

I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE!?!

-Laughed like a mofo.

[aguinn99]

How are you holding up? Because im a potato.

[Jordorgasm]

I masturbate to 20 & I'm not afraid to admit it.

[MyFishWillPwnU]

@Jordorgasm

Don't worry, everyone else does too.

[ThermalTomato]

Nice for saving best for last

[trancanhphu]

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS!

[luigiluigi1234]

number 20 is my fav.

[luigiluigi1234]

my new motto: "Holmes Vs. Moriarty, Aristotle Vs. MASHY SPIKE PLATE!

[Msbluerose45]

he sends the world thinking

[discoverygirl247]

lol 13 made me rofl XD

[E1craZ4life]

I knew the lemon speech would be there!

[TheNitromeFan]

Remember, testing is the future, and the future starts with you.

[MetaFumu218]

"If the laws of pyhsics do not apply in the future, god help you."

[kurohime23]

OMG THE LAST ONE KILLED ME!

[KevinJC1991]

aww you missed "did you know people with guilty consciouses are easily startled by --- BWWOOOOOWWWOOO!!!!!!

[VioletRacoon1234]

Aristotle vs MASHY SPIKE PLATE!

[toadytododile]

IMMA POTATO!

[PuggleRox1014]

Typical GLaDOS... Talking to pre-recorded messages of people that are dead...

[AutumnFox15]

Glados: Yeah! Burn his house down!!  Lol

[Evaleranna]

Look at you, sailing majestically through the air like an eagle...piloting a blimp.

lol

[067511]

thumbs up if you want to hear more smooth jazz

[HyenaBat]

Glados: it says it right here in your file. U are a whore... Ible person. U are a horrible person.

Am I the only one who heard it like this?

[Billcasey]

The crazy part is, you could probably easily do a top twenty GLaDOS quotes, a top twenty Wheatley Quotes, and a top twenty Cave Johnson quotes...



[LanceEAP]

You forgot "This is the part when he kill us" "Hello, this is the part when i kill you!"

[funkygirlkathryn]

when life gives u lemons, dont make lemonade, make life take those lemons back! i dont want ur damn lemons! i demand to see lifes manager........" wow......ima use this quote more often

[mrnddude2000]

asdfmovie

[seasonallover]

Lemon rant! :D My favorite quote!

[Dragodonv2]

OMG I would SO volunteer to fight the mantis men!!!

They should make a little shoot'em up about that!

[YonNosigra]

Burning people; oh, he says what we're all thinking!

[NeroZero2009]

Oh I like this guy.

[halldor7913]

3:02 best part haha MAKE MORE MESSAGES

[crushingon]

the fun part is that Aristotle's rival was Palto

[MySerpentine]

@crushingon Aristotle's teacher, actually.

[crushingon]

@MySerpentine

indeed, teacher and rival... great combo.

[JayKayIH8u]

9 people haven'y played portal 2 :c

[capitol5000TV]

I didn't know potatoes could have orgasms. Hmm

[mattbob246]

i dont need your dawm lemons!

[DragonZhengYew]

Holmes vs Moriarty...Aristotle vs MASHY SPIKE PLATES!!!!

I almost fell off my chair.

[TheSimsMusicCo]

i will be pooping COAL?!

[zXDeadPoolXzLov3r]

Man, if that guy would have kept yelling, GLaDOS would've had an orgasim.

[Maledicted]

My favorite is "Look at you, sailing through the air majestically. Like an eagle.. piloting a blimp." :)

[Chaybugz]

You Are A Horrible Person I almost DIED when it said that to my Dad

[ironychan]

Portal really needs a prequel in which you get to fight Mantis Men and Cybernetic Hobos.

[XeindiorulezFTW]

I like chaper 11, I think it is. Caroline: "Oh no, this is the part where he kills us." Weatly: "So, um, this is the part where I kill you." HUD: Chapter 11, This is the part where he kills you. ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: This is the part where he kills you; this is it.

[ndubzareawesome]

@XeindiorulezFTW its chapter 9 out of 10 xD. and its POTaDOS that says "Well, this is the part were he kills us"

[Doomrazor13]

number 20 should really be number 1

[codysimpsonlvrgirl12]

Why is GLaDOS so bitter and Caroline so nice?

[bshowalt14]

I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS!

[DoctorNarpasLoveless]

My last moments will most likely include still laughing at the "Aristotle verses MASHY-SPIKE PLATE!" line.

[zach10168]

yep. aristotle and mashy spike plate were mortal enemies. all the way.

[TailsTheDarkDragon]

Well done, here come the test results.. You are a horrible person. Thats what it says, A horrible person. And we weren't even testing for that..

GLaDOS is so awesome :D.

[imXaXteapot2112]

generous......ness.

[dadandevasing]

XD LOLWUT

[ZaffyKake]

Potatogasm!

[NCISrocks1000]

thumbs up if you recognize all these quotes from in-game

[BornAWinner11]

OMG 20 was epic! Was GlaDos having a lemon orgasm?

[swimmingkaola]

@BornAWinner11 ikr

[MrJackGBG]

Hhahaha i laugh at number 19 everytime :')

[PuggleRox1014]

"How you doing?"

"Falling to my death..."

"Oh cuz im a potatoe"

[KodyDK]

Anybody else die a bit inside when the jazz stops?

[western1388]

8 people had their homes burnt down with lemons.

[Javelin09]

"Silently killing you... probably."

[hgrunt100]

Potatogasm.

[TheMshagar]

jazz oh yeah reaaaaal smooth

[psykokimera]

Top 20 Portal 2 Quotes? Don't you mean Top 20 Video Game Quotes? Or perhaps Top 20 Quotes?

[umbreon013]

Awesome! XD

I mean, I would have saved space for 'Bird bird! Kill it! It's EVIL!' But awesome. XD

[HomemadeIndie]

I love the voice overs in dark meadow.

[mickiblay1]

Awwww, my smooth jazz~ :<

[spuddsstudios]

If the laws of physics dont empleye, god help you

I'll add a few zeros to the limit

[starwars4427]

my fav qout is i punched those numbers in my caculator they make a happy face

[duuhscouser96]

The last one is the best by far.

Cave gives GLaDOS orgasms... WITH THE LEMONS!

[jayprice0505]

I used to work at apperture....but then i took a turret to the knee replacement

[cagedbudgie]

I used to work for Aperture Science, then I took an arrow in the knee.

[SerenitySecrets]

GLaDOS:Yeah take the lemons!...boy,i like this guy.

Guy:I'm gonna make a combustable lemon to...

Me: :(...*spit-takes lemonade* X3<

[HeWasWho]

Cave Johnsan, the only man to ever give a potato an orgasm.

[Ambernett]

the last one is the best

lol

[PhenoxPsi]

2:19 AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Finally! A nemisis worthy of my vast intellect! Holmes vs Mariatti! Aristotle vs MASHY SPIKE PLATE!!  XD

[ravenbb615]

YAAAY THE LEMON RANT!

[deathgerbilguitarist]

Ghatshrfhrrfrnrefrrfhefefefhrr­fheehfeefefeereefeeefhyt

L

I'llknl l pppo

[dianamadelin]

MASHY SPIKE PLATE XD

[1979darthvader]

What song is the turret opera?

[davidmaximized]

@1979darthvader It's called "Cara Mia Addio" it was written exclusively for Portal 2 and features the vocals of Ellen McLain since she is in fact an opera singer. You can download Cara Mia Addio, along with the whole Portal 2 Soundtrack for free at the official Portal 2 website: think with portals .com (remove spaces)

[1979darthvader]

@davidmaximized Thanks.

[yummy2000]

Alright ive been thinking. When life gives you lemons, dont make lemonade. Make life take the lemons BACK! GET MAD! I DONT WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?! Demand to see life's manager, make life rue the day that it could give CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I'm the man thats gonna BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!!! WITH THE LEMONS!!! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!!!

[Mrbenjaminbowman]

"The lab boys just told me to stop making these pre-recorded messages. So that gave me an idea! MAKE MOAR PRE-RECORDED MESSEGES! I pay the bills here! I can talk about the control group all day!!!

[thevoidbender]

Loveeeee

[StigMurcielago]

That last quote sounded like sex.XD

[BaakCha]

@StigMurcielago glados was gasming all over the place, so yeah, I'd call it sex

[LunykStormdragon]

Oh, hi! So, how are you holding up? Because I'M A POTATO.

[tolisdrums]

4:34 from this point and onwards, it's like seeing JJJ in front of me saying these quotes to peter parker...by far the most suitable actor for THESE QUOTES...shit it's so epic...

[TheRandomJellyfish]

"Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!"

[roxannadekrakatoa]

Number 19. <3

[IsleDelfino13]

i love how GLaDOS is turned on by Cave Jhonsons' lemons.

[aurapigonstilts]

Number 9 made me laugh for days. No joke.

[MrDirtyness]

GLaDOS is hot for Cave Jhonson :P

[aniretak92]

There should have been 19 quotes. With the 20th being "pretty much everything Cave Johnson says, ever."

[TehKittyGirl]

when she said "You were a horrable person" I gasped.

[TehMrAmazing559]

I'm surprised the part when he kills you wasn't included.

[shaggybowie]

I thought Glados was having an orgasm on that last one.

[tijnmans]

2:44

I laughed so fucking hard when weathly smashed the door XD!

[PJBottomz]

I thought is was illegal to post a link to EVERY SINGLE VIDEO YOU'VE EVER UPLOADED in the description...

[Jonruy]

Number 20: At the the heart of GLaDOS' sociopathic processor, muddled by the fog of crazed personality cores, she's just an adorable little fangirl.

[Sambucca]

How does anyone actually play this game for all the laughing they must be doing?

[luigiman7789]

@Sambucca cause some times they black out of the scary parts lawl

[ExtremeMidnaFan12272]

Homes vs moriarity, (something something) vs.. MASHY SPIKE PLATE!

[neospacian1]

@ExtremeMidnaFan12272 its aristotle vs mashy spike plate

[elkhart007]

@ExtremeMidnaFan12272 Aristotle vs mashy spike plate

[spiderweb7734]

what happened to "it seems you got a minor case of sever brain damage

[elementbender1]

When life gives you lemons, TAKE THOSE LEMONS BACK!

[jamessonic5621]

BECAUSE I'M A POTATO.

[essay126]

lol I pay the bills here I can talk about the control room all DAMN day

[ilikepie9283]

Lol glados sounds like she's orgasming in #20

[1979darthvader]

Were can i get the turret opera (if there is a extension of it)

[MrKotobarusansama]

Holmes, versus Moriarty. Aristotle, versus... MASHY SPIKE PLATE

[InvaderRosie]

honeydew/simon: im a genius!

GLaDOS: * 1:26 *

honeydew/simon: aww

[101megagamemaster]

Oops I mean the 2nd

[101megagamemaster]

I love the 2

[xDejahx]

So how are you holding up? Because I'm a potato....

GLaDOS FTW

[FHomeBrew]

Ramps are expensive... Oh and mood rocks are dirt-cheap right?

[micalishis]

For drama I did a Cave Johnson monologue where I combined a bunch of different short monologues into one big one. It was so fun.

[AKNation0011]

I rofled when cave johnson raged...

[AKNation0011]

i love when these play the music when you do certain things like going in the gel in portal 2. thumbs up if you noticed.

[WoodlandDrake]

If the laws of physics no longer apply in the future... God help us all....

[verastera]

Participate: goo.gl\8ONjl and win iPad 2.

[TheTF2replay]

Burning people! He set the world thinking!

[ShmadamMasterMan77]

darn it, why didn't i volunteer to be injected with praying mantis dna?! is it too late to sign up for that?

[uvegottoloveme]

"that's not part of the test.. thaaat's asbestos"

[mikey9835]

i wonder what it says in the description? *clicks descprition* NEVER AGAIN!

[virginiarules510]

@mikey9835 You know what's sad? I didn't learn from your mistake and tried it.

[CirqueDuFreak2000]

@mikey9835 damn you, i wouldn't have even looked at it until I read your comment.

[Celeryslicestudios]

haha.. potatoes lemons and cake, valve is hungry making games

[sedme1]

Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that. Don't let that "horrible person" thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.

[SaveMeMoon]

What about space core?? And rick?? Anyway awsome idea of a list! Love it!

[rottenmisfit]

where's the meeting of chell and glados!.... you missed it out...... you monster

[Zlaea]

Valve has an amazing sense of humour.

[nextdoorninja3]

I spat when she said I'm a potatoe

[downloads2012]

WITH THE LEMONS!!!

[Wegaskiller]

One of my favorite quotes from Portal 2 is from GLaDOS, at the end of Chapter 2:

"I think we can put our differences aside. For science. You monster."

[GothGaara92]

Here come the test results-You are a horrible person

[jedi8246]

Great work. Because this message is pre-recorded, many of these messages are mere speculation on our part. Please disregard any undeserved complements.

[macdomify]

omg u made many films

[animalgurl5]

..vr's MASHY SPIKE PLATE!!!

Even when wheatley went bad he was hilarious, besides GLaDOS!

[ckrandall74]

I love how GlaDos has an orgasm while Cave is ranting about the lemons...

[Wegaskiller]

@ckrandall74 lmao!

[Flipcam123]

GlaDOS: ok, this is the part where he kills us.

Wheatly: Hello! this is the part where i kill you!

Chapter 9: the part where he kills you

Achevement get: The part where he kills you

Achevement discription: this is the part.

THAT should have been in there

[YTRewqNEss]

@Flipcam123 THAT is not a "Quote"

[TheMisterPoPo43]

@Flipcam123 where's the part where he kills you?

[blitzwingfan]

@Flipcam123 except that since it's audio only you'll miss out on more than half of the joke.

[blitzwingfan]

@blitzwingfan wait, i'm an idiot.

[RandomoGaming]

4:10 I like how they have one copy of the laws of robotics.. to share lol