2:48 Hey BD, you just gave me an awesome idea with your bible commentary there. With that "Spell" in the bible scientist can run the old testament though the scientific method. The scientist of the project could get like 21 or so priest (Jew, Christian, or Muslim) and have each of them cast the spell, as it fails (which is my hypothesis), the old testament can be scientifically proven to be wrong.
My suggestion is that you start with the book of JOHN in the New Testament. The Old Testament is a historial documentation of the nation of Israel. Their wars. Their Laws. Their adversities and their victories.
@bornagain001 You can't pick and choose different sections of the bible to read, and then claim that it's all "The infallible word of God. Heaven forbid she actually starts at the beginning!
@Tsukasamacleod ...of course you can pick and choose different sections to read. All of the Bible is inspired by God but the New Testament is all about Christ and how we can KNOW we have eternal life. The Old Testament is a history of the Jewish nation and prophesy that would be fulfilled by Christ. Much harder to follow.
@bornagain001 It's also a "history" of how God condoned slavery, rape, murder, genocide, human sacrifice, blind obedience and all that other good stuff. That's why Christians say "But that's the old testament!" As if that would invalidate it. The new testament isn't any better, since it passes off eternal torture and substitutional punishment as just, still condones slavery, and cruelly tries to induce guilt over basic human instincts that harm nobody.
@Keitaro2011 ...I am not aware of any verses where any of that is condoned. There are many verses that places limitations on "the Jews" and their ownership of slaves. There are many verses when God uses a righteous nation to destroy an unrighteous one and visa versa. I can find nothing about blind obedience. My own obedience to God is not blind. I fellowship with Him every day, all day and He with I. I see HIS HAND in all areas of my life because I have SURRENDERED ALL to His authority.
@bornagain001 The bible says don't lean on your own understand. In other words, don't think for yourself, don't question. Lot's wife was killed simply for looking back. Kids are being KILLED in these stories! Women are RAPED! This was a book written by MAN to justify their atrocities. And don't give me that crap about how the kids went to heaven. If that was the case, you wouldn't be perpetually whining about abortion.
@bornagain001 If you believe God created the universe which is 82 billion light years across and ever expanding what's with all the extra shit humans will never make use of. I.e Neptune get the hell over yourself we're not special you can see the transition from our common ancestor with chimpanzees and us.
@flammingbutter ...God CREATED the Universe to display HIS GLORY. It serves no other purpose than to GLORIFY God. We ARE INDEED SPECIAL. We are God's greatest creation...the only creature with an eternal soul and the only creature that can fellowship with Him daily. All animals are under MAN'S DOMINION. We are not equal to animals but ABOVE them. Some we eat. Some are pets and some just provide entertainment. There are NO transitional fossils. All are complete creatures.
@bornagain001 Sounds like a middle aged man who has a small penis. As a computer programmer I may state I would never add useless shit to add to my own glory.
Minus our intellect we're very similar to animals. We have vestigial organs and structures i.e the spine is at a location meant for quadrupedal movement as a opposed to a bipedal organism such as ourselves. I've read the Bible as a Christian and I've read my AP Bio textbook which do you think had verifiable facts in it?
@flammingbutter ....when all else fails..resort to insults. Being a computer programmer is a long way from creating a UNIVERSE and besides...there are literally 10's of 1000's of people all over the world that are the professions are based around the study of the Universe. Hardly "useless shit" to them. Being "similar" to animals is NOT being an animal. We are the ONLY creature God created with an eternal soul and the ability to fellowship with HIM.
@bornagain001 Funny how all these who study the universe agree with me a deity is not at work. We're animals we have extra processes left in us from we diverged from bacteria. Prove to me there is a god. Russel's teapot the burden of proof is upon you. All I'm saying is the substantial amount of evidence points to at the very least an apathetic deity more likely a lack of thereof. If God punishes people for not believing on Faith he deserves any and all insults. Voldemort of course as well.
Talking donkey, not as bad as the koran which has a talking wolf, cow, camel and even talking ants. Like you said, how can these religious nutters believe in this shit. If it wasn't for the bad stuff the bible would be like Disney cartoons .
The verse 5:1-28 about the priests casting a spell on an woman accused of being unfaithful has been interpreted as administering an abortifacient (bitter waters), so that if she's unfaithful, her belly swells and rots, but if she's faithful, the pregnancy continues correctly. I'm never sure why Christians are so against abortions when there are directions for them in Numbers. Interestingly, verse 29 says that a man can order this done if she has been unfaithful or if he is simply jealous.
Seriously, if u do a psychoanalysis of the Yahweh character, studying his words and actions, we find him to be a schizophrenic Psychopath, not to mention a childishly insecure egomaniac!
Yahweh was the god of the Jews, period, even though he's described as the creator....he wasn't. The supreme god, or creator, was "El Elyon." Yahweh was his son, one of 70 sons of god. They divided the nations of the world into 70 segments, one for each god.
This was very funny and I look forward to viewing your other readings. But srsly, since you have already read Exodus, you must know that the Levites were one of the 12 tribes and that the Sabbath was on Saturday and not Sunday. If you had gotten one more thing wrong, that would have been 3 strikes and God would have smited you.
I was just in another video read the explanation that the unicorn was actually Rhino (from a "good" Biblical scholars, according to his channel I think he despises atheists, but on this subject will next time). I say it does not change much from the horror and violence of the rest of the Bible, "the strength of an unicorn" therefore means strength of a rhinoceros, it makes more sense but still!!
it all makes sense once you realise it's a homeopathy-style god: there's nothing there, but if you believe in it, you get a placebo effect (which actually is real). then the only problem is you need priests to invent all kinds of crap to explain why god 'behaves' exactly as if he is not there...
@BionicDance i thought thhat the damage was determened by the weapon. A long sword on average size enemy was 1d10 where a two handed sword did 2d6 (It's been a while so i'm a bit rusty) We used to go by the AD&D rules Circa 1989. We started in the Dragonlance world but the rules were too stringient so we made up our own.
@Muljinn i just remembered... Yeah, long sword was 1d8 but against a large creature (Troll, some giants, titan, dragon, etc. it was 2d6) Gargantuan creatures (over 50'), ancient dragons, cloud, mountain or storm giants, 3d6
@BionicDance Are you part of a D&D group? If so do you have a favourite character class? And while I'm digressing here...Have you ever or would you consider going to a You Tube gathering?
Talk about talking out of your ass!!!!! LOL I almost pissed my pants. I'm sure glad I took a drink of my coffee like 5 seconds before that or else I would have had a huge mess on my keyboard
I am on Numbers too, same thing I feel Iike giving up too, (3 chapters a day is killing me) I just want it over with. But there is that rebellion thing because some people are getting wise to the scam and the giants from Genesis that survived the flood (?). must share on fb.
Yup that's the most boring book, pretty much. A lot of numbers is just arbitrary lineage tracing to verify (or fabricate) so and so's right to such and such. Don't worry Deuteronomy is up next and it's a fun read, if you like macabre literature anyway.
The Levites had it best. It was their sacred duty to eat all of the unburned parts of the sacrificed animals while the rest o the Israelites were eating nothing but mana bread for decades while raising animals to sacrifice.
moses was not alowed to enter the land of israel, only to see it from the mountaintop.
a qoute from MLK Jr,
"threats, or talk about the threats ... What would happen to me from some of our sick white brothers? ... doesn't matter ..., because I've been to the mountaintop. ... And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!"
There is some talk about there being a mistranslation of Jesus being from Nazareth. He would rather be a nazarite according to these people. I like this hypothesis better than him being from a town that didn't even exist in his time...
I think only boy levites had to be priests. bible commands men and men command their women. if women levites couldn't be mothers than there would be no baby levites.
Thanks for for sharing what's on your heart. Inspirational Youtube members@ blessedjournal.spruz. com voted to inspire an open discussion family-winning site, shaping their spiritual character into the greatest story ever told @ blessedjournal.spruz. com -Limited to 1000 signups per day.
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It was written in bits and pieces by bronze age goat herders. What did you expect? And YES I have seen people blow a "shofar" in an attempt to summon the presence of god. Shrooms work a LOT better.
In the Road to El Dorado, one of the signs that one of teh Spanish guys was not a god was that the High Priest niticed he was bleeding. He later said to one of his servants/guards/whatever "No you know why the gods want blood? Because the gods don't bleed."
At first you think he's just sayiong that because El Dorado is a mixture of Aztek, Myan etc, but it seems Middle-East gods are like that too.
The reason I sub to you was for research purposes for my book but when I'm done I'm unsubscribing because what you been spewing is complete nonsense and an insult to apologeists.
No you're just mocking it and not even bother to EXPLAIN it in its contextal(I know you know much). You're telling people "what they want to hear" especially atheists but not telling the WHOLE TRUTH are you?
You just saying that but haven't proven me wrong what I wrote, have you? You just say "You don't know what your talking about" what kind of argument is that? That's nothing but an ad hom attack.
The only reason you get hits on your channel is because people that subscribe have NEVER studied the Bible systematically. If they bothered to go through the Bible with a teacher and see for themselves if what you been saying is true your channel will be discontinued.
But then again ignorance and arrogance always shows up, right?
Yeah, why not? Just because you're an atheist and I'm a Christian doesn't mean were going to have a debate about the existence of God but just hold hands and take a walk in the park.
What are you some kind of zombie chick? I don't think NOBODY would like to eat me because of my lean muscle. Besides Valentines Day is coming so I have something for you which you will be receiving in your inbox!
Ahhh, thanks, that means so much to me I will always cherish this moment for the rest of life. See we are talking normal without any debating which is a good sign.
@POC777 "...have NEVER studied the Bible systematically."
Another incorrect assertion. But why would you assume that those who don't agree with you must not have studied the bible? Is it really that difficult for you to imagine someone honestly coming to a different conclusion? Are you truly that small-minded or are you simply disingenuous? Do you ever consider the possibility that your faith may be misplaced? That your beliefs are simply wrong? And if they are, would you even want to know?
@POC777 says: "...weighted and found wanting... Your day is coming!"
This pathetic example illuminates why religion deserves mockery and ridicule. POC777's religious convictions allow him(?) to threaten BionicDance with an eternity of torture simply for not sharing his personal belief system. He hides behind religious dogma, taking no personal responsibility for his threatening words. Does he offer any objective, empirical evidence in support of his theistic claims? No. Respect is NOT due!
@jssherrard But then why should POC777 bother offering scientific evidence in support of his beliefs? After all, religion is not based on anything as trivial as independently reproducible, independently verifiable, theoretically falsifiable, objective facts; instead, it is the heart-felt acceptance of the merely asserted. Why waste time questioning religious claims when you 'just know' that they are true?!? Imagine where we would be if everyone behaved like POC777... Nowhere respectable.
And what would be so wrong with that? The bible deserves to be mocked. If BionicDance's conclusions about the bible differ from yours, isn't she free to express those opinions however she chooses? I have read the bible numerous times and, frankly, I find it to be entirely worthy of scorn and derision. If the bible was actually the perfect creation of a perfect being, shouldn't it also be perfectly cogent to all who read it?
@POC777 Here you have the perfect opportunity how to explain to us all about each book and how to properly understand their content. You could even make a companion video series explaining the content of each book as she goes along so we can comment upon it. But instead all you are doing is saying how mean she is being to your favorite book. You sound just like the bleating of the sheeple being shorn.
Sometimes ridicule is the only proper response to the ridiculous.
I don't have the time now to go through every book in the Bible(I will when I'm free). Here's the thing: I don't accept EVERYTHING from the Bible, for example, the two versions of the creation story, cannibalism or genocide of nations.
I'm TOTALLY against that and the additions in John, Mark and the Pastoral Epistles that weren't written by Paul the Apostle that wasn't in the final autographs. I could talk about that FAIRLY and honestly.
@POC777 Yours is pretty much the common response. "I don't have time to think of a valid way to logically defend this stuff". Please, if you don't have time to make intelligent, reasoned, replies, then please don't bother commenting. Just saying "stop mocking my beliefs" isn't going to get you very far or make people think more highly of the bible.
P.S. At least please tell us what parts of the bible were authored or inspired by the supreme super-natural creator of the universe?
@POC777 Simply mocking the bible is more than fair, kinder than it actually deserves. Your personal committment to live a life of servile obedience to a book of bronze-age mythology does not obligate the rest of us to pretend that the lies inherent to religion are in any way respectable. They are not! Merely asserted religious belief actively harms humanity. Genuinely fair treatment of religion would go far beyond mere mockery. Please note that I am talking about mocking belief, not people...
@POC777 LMAO. I've read that book from cover to cover TWICE. It's pure moronic evil written by bronze age goat herders, unless you cherry pick the passages you want at the time you want them. Doing THAT just makes you a fucking hypocrite anyway.
@BionicDance Agreed. I also think POC777 is a bit dishonest since he is a Christian who is writing a book detailing why *he thinks* people leave Christianity. It would be in POC777's interest if you were, in fact, making atheism look foolish. On the contrary, I think you are making the Bible appear as foolish as it actually is, and that this is threatening to POC777.
Intellectual christians, where? How can they be "intellectual" if their brains have been fired by deluded bronze aged fairy stories that don't belong in the 21st century. Man, get a life for it looks like you never have experienced one yet.
@krissyeh yup, "intellectual christians" is an oxymoron term. An intelligent person would sound totally retarded if put into a position of defending a fairy tale bible as if it was reality. And such a person will be reduced into a circus clown subject to ridicule.
This series is actually making me start to like the Bible --not because I think the book is divine, but because it's incredibly human. The more people try to describe God the more they describe themselves. The Bible is starting to appear to me to be the accumulation of ancient societies expressing unabashedly all their chauvinisms, jealousies, insecurities, pride, hope, ideals, etc. Fascinating stuff.
So Moses basically got everyone lost in the desert for 40 years and God was a bi polar dickhead the entire time. Yeah that sounds great. BTW I think I might cover the Bible the same way as you are, Atheists know more about religion than most Theists after all. I go to an all-girls Catholic school, I always have some type of opinion in Religion class, a lot of stuff the girls themselves don't know about their own religion, but I don't really say it out loud, I don't want to piss anyone off.
@POC777 I was a believer, "trained in the scriptures for years". And brainwashed by it. If you can't see the horror of the bible, if you can't see the cruel, sadistic evil of Jehovah, and Jesus' bloodthirsty "plan of salvation", you are brainwashed, and there ain't much we can do about that until you let reason creep in.
Thanks for these videos that will hopefully save people from ever picking up the Bible. Coming from an ultra-religious home, I had to read and have that stuff read to me so much that I can not even touch one today. Hehehe, reading the Bible definitely helped make me an Atheist.
Damn, I got stuck in a hotelroom once with no TV and grabbed that bible....I couln't get through one complete page, staring at how the ceiling fan spins was way more entertaining.
I must say, you are freaking tenacious reading through all that shit for a video!
Keight has a nice smile!
VitoPossilipo 5 months ago in playlist Bionic Dance Reads The Bible
My girlfriend and I both paused this at your "Rod" quote and laughed uncontrollably for five minutes straight.
HimesInu 6 months ago
I have to applaud you for actually reading this. I'd have torn out each page and used it as kindling at Gen 1:1.
HimesInu 6 months ago
"Sike! You're poisoned... Sike! You're dead..."
MissThinkabunch 7 months ago
2:48 Hey BD, you just gave me an awesome idea with your bible commentary there. With that "Spell" in the bible scientist can run the old testament though the scientific method. The scientist of the project could get like 21 or so priest (Jew, Christian, or Muslim) and have each of them cast the spell, as it fails (which is my hypothesis), the old testament can be scientifically proven to be wrong.
NGCDragoonFighter 8 months ago
ill admit.. you annoyed me at first.. but something about your videos compelled me to subscribe and now i love them.. so keep up the good work!
smackdye 8 months ago 2
Great videos, thanks for everything you've ever done. It's all classic.
Squee505 10 months ago
My suggestion is that you start with the book of JOHN in the New Testament. The Old Testament is a historial documentation of the nation of Israel. Their wars. Their Laws. Their adversities and their victories.
bornagain001 11 months ago
@bornagain001 You can't pick and choose different sections of the bible to read, and then claim that it's all "The infallible word of God. Heaven forbid she actually starts at the beginning!
Tsukasamacleod 11 months ago
@Tsukasamacleod ...of course you can pick and choose different sections to read. All of the Bible is inspired by God but the New Testament is all about Christ and how we can KNOW we have eternal life. The Old Testament is a history of the Jewish nation and prophesy that would be fulfilled by Christ. Much harder to follow.
bornagain001 11 months ago
@bornagain001 It's also a "history" of how God condoned slavery, rape, murder, genocide, human sacrifice, blind obedience and all that other good stuff. That's why Christians say "But that's the old testament!" As if that would invalidate it. The new testament isn't any better, since it passes off eternal torture and substitutional punishment as just, still condones slavery, and cruelly tries to induce guilt over basic human instincts that harm nobody.
Keitaro2011 11 months ago
@Keitaro2011 ...I am not aware of any verses where any of that is condoned. There are many verses that places limitations on "the Jews" and their ownership of slaves. There are many verses when God uses a righteous nation to destroy an unrighteous one and visa versa. I can find nothing about blind obedience. My own obedience to God is not blind. I fellowship with Him every day, all day and He with I. I see HIS HAND in all areas of my life because I have SURRENDERED ALL to His authority.
bornagain001 11 months ago
@bornagain001 The bible says don't lean on your own understand. In other words, don't think for yourself, don't question. Lot's wife was killed simply for looking back. Kids are being KILLED in these stories! Women are RAPED! This was a book written by MAN to justify their atrocities. And don't give me that crap about how the kids went to heaven. If that was the case, you wouldn't be perpetually whining about abortion.
Keitaro2011 11 months ago
@bornagain001 If you believe God created the universe which is 82 billion light years across and ever expanding what's with all the extra shit humans will never make use of. I.e Neptune get the hell over yourself we're not special you can see the transition from our common ancestor with chimpanzees and us.
flammingbutter 10 months ago
@flammingbutter ...God CREATED the Universe to display HIS GLORY. It serves no other purpose than to GLORIFY God. We ARE INDEED SPECIAL. We are God's greatest creation...the only creature with an eternal soul and the only creature that can fellowship with Him daily. All animals are under MAN'S DOMINION. We are not equal to animals but ABOVE them. Some we eat. Some are pets and some just provide entertainment. There are NO transitional fossils. All are complete creatures.
bornagain001 10 months ago
@bornagain001 Sounds like a middle aged man who has a small penis. As a computer programmer I may state I would never add useless shit to add to my own glory.
Minus our intellect we're very similar to animals. We have vestigial organs and structures i.e the spine is at a location meant for quadrupedal movement as a opposed to a bipedal organism such as ourselves. I've read the Bible as a Christian and I've read my AP Bio textbook which do you think had verifiable facts in it?
flammingbutter 10 months ago
@flammingbutter ....when all else fails..resort to insults. Being a computer programmer is a long way from creating a UNIVERSE and besides...there are literally 10's of 1000's of people all over the world that are the professions are based around the study of the Universe. Hardly "useless shit" to them. Being "similar" to animals is NOT being an animal. We are the ONLY creature God created with an eternal soul and the ability to fellowship with HIM.
bornagain001 10 months ago
@bornagain001 Funny how all these who study the universe agree with me a deity is not at work. We're animals we have extra processes left in us from we diverged from bacteria. Prove to me there is a god. Russel's teapot the burden of proof is upon you. All I'm saying is the substantial amount of evidence points to at the very least an apathetic deity more likely a lack of thereof. If God punishes people for not believing on Faith he deserves any and all insults. Voldemort of course as well.
flammingbutter 10 months ago
"defiled by the dead"? wtf? What does that even mean?
I'd yell zombie, but I know where that one came from.
StrikaAmaru 11 months ago
god is like the "Q" entity from startrek next generation series, only worse. At least startrek the "Q" entity is a bit more mature. ;-)
emancoy 11 months ago
Talking donkey, not as bad as the koran which has a talking wolf, cow, camel and even talking ants. Like you said, how can these religious nutters believe in this shit. If it wasn't for the bad stuff the bible would be like Disney cartoons .
krissyeh 11 months ago
Hm, all those rods, what a sight, lol.
krissyeh 11 months ago
The verse 5:1-28 about the priests casting a spell on an woman accused of being unfaithful has been interpreted as administering an abortifacient (bitter waters), so that if she's unfaithful, her belly swells and rots, but if she's faithful, the pregnancy continues correctly. I'm never sure why Christians are so against abortions when there are directions for them in Numbers. Interestingly, verse 29 says that a man can order this done if she has been unfaithful or if he is simply jealous.
laraesque 1 year ago
Now seriously, if you had stopped reading, you wouldn't have come to the part about the men taking up their rods.
erbeesr 1 year ago
Seriously, if u do a psychoanalysis of the Yahweh character, studying his words and actions, we find him to be a schizophrenic Psychopath, not to mention a childishly insecure egomaniac!
Yahweh was the god of the Jews, period, even though he's described as the creator....he wasn't. The supreme god, or creator, was "El Elyon." Yahweh was his son, one of 70 sons of god. They divided the nations of the world into 70 segments, one for each god.
It's in the OT, but especially the Ugaric Texts.
Cootabux 1 year ago
what would God's D&D card look like? xD
DragoSmash 1 year ago
@DragoSmash Oh, I'm CONVINCED there'z a deities supplement out there somewhere.
BionicDance 1 year ago
@DragoSmash Black background with blood flowing down it.
HimesInu 6 months ago
indeed reading so I don't have to!
great back up information in debates and stuff!
ImaginaryMdA 1 year ago
@17:12
watch?v=LYJWWKkF2ZE&NR=1
KaseyAkira 1 year ago
I love your videos and your obnoxious puns ("talking out of your ass.") Thanks for your uploads!
rootvalue 1 year ago
Sexy!!!
wellsbranchdude 1 year ago
I think we only needed the summary at the end !
Al1981X 1 year ago
Yeah, I never even read Numbers because the title is boring (I judged it by it's cover) and I'm glad you confirmed what I thought !
Al1981X 1 year ago
08:25 "Hey, I'm God! One of the perks of being "God" is that I get to be as big a dick as I as want to whoever I want, whenever I want!"
Yeah, god's an asshole.
Muljinn 1 year ago
123456789 now them are the numbers to read
dunndudebemelol 1 year ago
@dunndudebemelol but why have you forgotten zero 0 :(
My hero, Zero, such a funny little hero,
But till you came along,
We counted on our fingers and toes.
Now you're here to stay
And nobody really knows
How wonderful you are.
Why we could never reach a star,
Without you, Zero, my hero,
How wonderful you are.
yrrebyam666 1 year ago
This was very funny and I look forward to viewing your other readings. But srsly, since you have already read Exodus, you must know that the Levites were one of the 12 tribes and that the Sabbath was on Saturday and not Sunday. If you had gotten one more thing wrong, that would have been 3 strikes and God would have smited you.
sonoki82 1 year ago
should you decide to give up on this, at least do Revelations before you hang it up. (pleeeezze!)
aMulliganStew 1 year ago
nazarite -- probably not the same as nazarene.
aMulliganStew 1 year ago
About the giants. That part is about the first baseball game between the Bethlehem Braves vs Jerusalem Giants. *Peter Griffin laugh*
deesyphrr 1 year ago
you can't give up! The New Testament awaits! It's the best part! :)
johnchapterseventeen 1 year ago
A talking donkey, huh? Clearly, the bible was among the fairytales parodied by Shrek!
TalanLysander 1 year ago 2
Mans rod lol
FutureIndigent 1 year ago
My wife has been tootin' on my trumpet for over 23 years. I think that I have almost seen god a few times; so that verse is a maybe.
CamW30 1 year ago 2
I was just in another video read the explanation that the unicorn was actually Rhino (from a "good" Biblical scholars, according to his channel I think he despises atheists, but on this subject will next time). I say it does not change much from the horror and violence of the rest of the Bible, "the strength of an unicorn" therefore means strength of a rhinoceros, it makes more sense but still!!
ExtremeMadnessX 1 year ago
Sounds like Erin got offed. o.O
Fir3bird23 1 year ago
god shes hot id do her
joesaya 1 year ago
it all makes sense once you realise it's a homeopathy-style god: there's nothing there, but if you believe in it, you get a placebo effect (which actually is real). then the only problem is you need priests to invent all kinds of crap to explain why god 'behaves' exactly as if he is not there...
dromedaryspotter 1 year ago
How strong is a unicorn anyway?
rrosiek 1 year ago
BionicDance 1 year ago 22
@BionicDance I thought they had spell like abilities as well.
SephieRothe 1 year ago
@SephieRothe The full description was too long for a YouTube comment. :P
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance i thought thhat the damage was determened by the weapon. A long sword on average size enemy was 1d10 where a two handed sword did 2d6 (It's been a while so i'm a bit rusty) We used to go by the AD&D rules Circa 1989. We started in the Dragonlance world but the rules were too stringient so we made up our own.
boyceps 1 year ago
@boyceps Long swords are d8's, though back in the 2nd edition they had different damage dice vs large targets.
Muljinn 1 year ago
@Muljinn i just remembered... Yeah, long sword was 1d8 but against a large creature (Troll, some giants, titan, dragon, etc. it was 2d6) Gargantuan creatures (over 50'), ancient dragons, cloud, mountain or storm giants, 3d6
boyceps 1 year ago
@BionicDance Is that from the monster manual?lol
grnlfe01 1 year ago
@grnlfe01 Yeah. :)
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance Are you part of a D&D group? If so do you have a favourite character class? And while I'm digressing here...Have you ever or would you consider going to a You Tube gathering?
grnlfe01 1 year ago
@grnlfe01 I'm not in a group now, but I used to play.
I enjoy playing Rogues or Paladins.
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance what's the best way to level up before taking on a unicorn?
KaseyAkira 1 year ago
Also Bionic... can you add me as your friend? I sent the request already. I wanna talk to you about stuff.
KaseyAkira 1 year ago
Numbers must have been written by Monk.
Phelan666 1 year ago
@Phelan666 Get it...? MONK! XD
I just love how clever I am...
Phelan666 1 year ago
What is the tattoo on your right arm?
ImYourDeity 1 year ago
@ImYourDeity Which one? There'z two.
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance Let's go with both....
Phelan666 1 year ago
@Phelan666 One of 'em is Roxette, my favorite band. The other is from the uniform worn by Starfighters in "The Last Starfighter".
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance I don't know what either of those are :D
Phelan666 1 year ago
@Phelan666 Look 'em up; you'll be glad you did.
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance both I guess
ImYourDeity 1 year ago
@ImYourDeity One of 'em is Roxette, my favorite band. The other is from the uniform worn by Starfighters in "The Last Starfighter".
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance "A videogaming boy, seemingly doomed to stay at his trailer park home all his life..."
Yeah, I'm not too thrilled with this already...
Phelan666 1 year ago
@Phelan666 Dude, it's FUCKING AWESOME.
If you like Star Wars, you'll love this. Trust me.
BionicDance 1 year ago
the author is bob villa and martha stewarts love spawn, perchance? :)
practicalmagic9 1 year ago
12:28 You know, for someone who allegedly omniscient and omnipotent, Yahweh's surprisingly insecure.
Akira625 1 year ago
Talk about talking out of your ass!!!!! LOL I almost pissed my pants. I'm sure glad I took a drink of my coffee like 5 seconds before that or else I would have had a huge mess on my keyboard
adoniscrush 1 year ago
I am on Numbers too, same thing I feel Iike giving up too, (3 chapters a day is killing me) I just want it over with. But there is that rebellion thing because some people are getting wise to the scam and the giants from Genesis that survived the flood (?). must share on fb.
cjeffers101 1 year ago
Yup that's the most boring book, pretty much. A lot of numbers is just arbitrary lineage tracing to verify (or fabricate) so and so's right to such and such. Don't worry Deuteronomy is up next and it's a fun read, if you like macabre literature anyway.
GodlessInfinity 1 year ago
Every morning, I sit down with my breakfast and watch one of these! thanks BD.
Palmergedd0n 1 year ago
Bionic Dance about the Bible: "..and you have got to read it to believe it"
I am curious when that quote gets mined. Probably sooner than the discovery that god is okay with lesbians.
RuudGerrevink 1 year ago
The Levites had it best. It was their sacred duty to eat all of the unburned parts of the sacrificed animals while the rest o the Israelites were eating nothing but mana bread for decades while raising animals to sacrifice.
YashinNashi 1 year ago
"Book lies." . . . indeed.
phatpat63 1 year ago
Wait until you get to Deuteronomy.
HonestTechnoAtheist 1 year ago 7
Was the end an Evan Erwin reference? "Tapping the cards so you don't have to." I'm not sure if he got it from someone else, though...
UpTheIrons1994 1 year ago
So in a week god can either create a universe or cure one case of leprosy.....
tctheunbeliever 1 year ago
moses was not alowed to enter the land of israel, only to see it from the mountaintop.
a qoute from MLK Jr,
"threats, or talk about the threats ... What would happen to me from some of our sick white brothers? ... doesn't matter ..., because I've been to the mountaintop. ... And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!"
jffryh 1 year ago
There is some talk about there being a mistranslation of Jesus being from Nazareth. He would rather be a nazarite according to these people. I like this hypothesis better than him being from a town that didn't even exist in his time...
breakaleg10 1 year ago
sabath is on saturday
jffryh 1 year ago
I think only boy levites had to be priests. bible commands men and men command their women. if women levites couldn't be mothers than there would be no baby levites.
jffryh 1 year ago
I like the vid, but you should white balance your camera.
phantomatt502 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
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stayonfire 1 year ago
It was written in bits and pieces by bronze age goat herders. What did you expect? And YES I have seen people blow a "shofar" in an attempt to summon the presence of god. Shrooms work a LOT better.
bamboo4tameshigiri 1 year ago
Really... The Bible is just fun! : )
moonlightavenger 1 year ago
Deuteronomy is also pretty bad lol. Good luck!
R3APER24 1 year ago
@R3APER24
Bad? Explain what is bad and give me every verse or chapter.
POC777 1 year ago
In the Road to El Dorado, one of the signs that one of teh Spanish guys was not a god was that the High Priest niticed he was bleeding. He later said to one of his servants/guards/whatever "No you know why the gods want blood? Because the gods don't bleed."
At first you think he's just sayiong that because El Dorado is a mixture of Aztek, Myan etc, but it seems Middle-East gods are like that too.
dechha1981 1 year ago
15:42 Laughed my ass off!
jimrbsn 1 year ago
Just tried making a trumpet sound with my mouth, nothing yet...
dechha1981 1 year ago
@dechha1981 You forgot to take the shrooms first.
bamboo4tameshigiri 1 year ago
did I misshear at 14:10?
"god said to moses and erin and I guess aeryn Sun"
so farscape is a true story? it must be if aeryn is in the bible :p
Scarletpooky 1 year ago
@Scarletpooky "...Aaron, and I guess Aaron's son..." :P
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance damn, farscape bring true would make life so much more interesting than the bible being true ;)
Scarletpooky 1 year ago
@Scarletpooky True. Alas, it is not the case. :(
BionicDance 1 year ago
stupid fuckin donkey!
Feralus69 1 year ago
BD, you're doing it wrong! You're only supposed to read the verses that make you feel good.
flippedphilosopher 1 year ago 21
@flippedphilosopher But...that's pretty much NONE of this book so far! ;)
BionicDance 1 year ago 13
@BionicDance
The reason I sub to you was for research purposes for my book but when I'm done I'm unsubscribing because what you been spewing is complete nonsense and an insult to apologeists.
POC777 1 year ago
@BionicDance
Please stop doing this your making a fool of yourself in front of intellectual atheists and Christians alike.
POC777 1 year ago
@POC777 Don't think that's what I'm doin', mate.
Read the comments; people are not just lovin' this, but they're onboard with what I'm sayin'.
I think, perhaps, you just don't like what I have to say, and are trying to appeal to my vanity. :P
BionicDance 1 year ago 4
@BionicDance
No you're just mocking it and not even bother to EXPLAIN it in its contextal(I know you know much). You're telling people "what they want to hear" especially atheists but not telling the WHOLE TRUTH are you?
POC777 1 year ago
@POC777 You don't know SHIT, bub, if THAT'S what you think I'm doing.
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance
You don't know what your talking about its hopeless!
POC777 1 year ago
@POC777 No...YOU don't know what I'm talking about. That's the problem.
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance
You just saying that but haven't proven me wrong what I wrote, have you? You just say "You don't know what your talking about" what kind of argument is that? That's nothing but an ad hom attack.
I'm done talking with you good day miss!
POC777 1 year ago
@POC777 Don't let it hit you on the way out. *rolls eyes*
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance
Don't be surprised at the Judgment what you get what you deserve!
POC777 1 year ago
@POC777 ...a kitten? AWRIGHT!
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance
You won't be laughing once "your weighted and found wanting" all because you thought you could go against God and His children. Your day is coming!
POC777 1 year ago
@POC777 My day is BREATHING HARD...! ;)
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance
The only reason you get hits on your channel is because people that subscribe have NEVER studied the Bible systematically. If they bothered to go through the Bible with a teacher and see for themselves if what you been saying is true your channel will be discontinued.
But then again ignorance and arrogance always shows up, right?
POC777 1 year ago
@POC777 Actually, I get hits on my channel because I'm CUTE. ;)
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance
You are a sweet heart and very intelligent I can't take that away from you--wanna go out on a date? ;)
POC777 1 year ago
@POC777 Sure! Got a hot lesbian to set me up with...?
...wait. You didn't mean with YOU, didja? *raised eyebrow*
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance
Yeah, why not? Just because you're an atheist and I'm a Christian doesn't mean were going to have a debate about the existence of God but just hold hands and take a walk in the park.
POC777 1 year ago
@POC777 I'd be forced to kill and eat you. It wouldn't be pretty.
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance
What are you some kind of zombie chick? I don't think NOBODY would like to eat me because of my lean muscle. Besides Valentines Day is coming so I have something for you which you will be receiving in your inbox!
I have a crush on you! :)
POC777 1 year ago
@POC777 Of course, your death wouldn't be slow...I may not even wait before I begin to feed.
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance
LMAO you're funny!
POC777 1 year ago
@POC777 YOU'RE funny...!
...tasting.
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance
Ahhh, thanks, that means so much to me I will always cherish this moment for the rest of life. See we are talking normal without any debating which is a good sign.
Take care, my strawberry cupcake ;)
POC777 1 year ago
@POC777 Later, brain-vittles!
BionicDance 1 year ago
@POC777 "...have NEVER studied the Bible systematically."
Another incorrect assertion. But why would you assume that those who don't agree with you must not have studied the bible? Is it really that difficult for you to imagine someone honestly coming to a different conclusion? Are you truly that small-minded or are you simply disingenuous? Do you ever consider the possibility that your faith may be misplaced? That your beliefs are simply wrong? And if they are, would you even want to know?
jssherrard 1 year ago
@POC777 says: "...weighted and found wanting... Your day is coming!"
This pathetic example illuminates why religion deserves mockery and ridicule. POC777's religious convictions allow him(?) to threaten BionicDance with an eternity of torture simply for not sharing his personal belief system. He hides behind religious dogma, taking no personal responsibility for his threatening words. Does he offer any objective, empirical evidence in support of his theistic claims? No. Respect is NOT due!
jssherrard 1 year ago
@jssherrard But then why should POC777 bother offering scientific evidence in support of his beliefs? After all, religion is not based on anything as trivial as independently reproducible, independently verifiable, theoretically falsifiable, objective facts; instead, it is the heart-felt acceptance of the merely asserted. Why waste time questioning religious claims when you 'just know' that they are true?!? Imagine where we would be if everyone behaved like POC777... Nowhere respectable.
jssherrard 1 year ago
@POC777 No, mocking would be simply reading a verse, then making a farting sound. I think this is a pretty good satirical criticism.
HentaiGaiJin 1 year ago
@POC777 "No you're just mocking it..."
And what would be so wrong with that? The bible deserves to be mocked. If BionicDance's conclusions about the bible differ from yours, isn't she free to express those opinions however she chooses? I have read the bible numerous times and, frankly, I find it to be entirely worthy of scorn and derision. If the bible was actually the perfect creation of a perfect being, shouldn't it also be perfectly cogent to all who read it?
jssherrard 1 year ago
@jssherrard
No it doesn't deserve to be mocked but treated fairly.
POC777 1 year ago
@POC777 Here you have the perfect opportunity how to explain to us all about each book and how to properly understand their content. You could even make a companion video series explaining the content of each book as she goes along so we can comment upon it. But instead all you are doing is saying how mean she is being to your favorite book. You sound just like the bleating of the sheeple being shorn.
Sometimes ridicule is the only proper response to the ridiculous.
oscargordon 1 year ago
@oscargordon
That will take years my friend but an overview won't hurt!
POC777 1 year ago
@oscargordon
I don't have the time now to go through every book in the Bible(I will when I'm free). Here's the thing: I don't accept EVERYTHING from the Bible, for example, the two versions of the creation story, cannibalism or genocide of nations.
I'm TOTALLY against that and the additions in John, Mark and the Pastoral Epistles that weren't written by Paul the Apostle that wasn't in the final autographs. I could talk about that FAIRLY and honestly.
POC777 1 year ago
@POC777 Yours is pretty much the common response. "I don't have time to think of a valid way to logically defend this stuff". Please, if you don't have time to make intelligent, reasoned, replies, then please don't bother commenting. Just saying "stop mocking my beliefs" isn't going to get you very far or make people think more highly of the bible.
P.S. At least please tell us what parts of the bible were authored or inspired by the supreme super-natural creator of the universe?
oscargordon 1 year ago
@oscargordon
No, I'm just too tired too THINK now(I'm not on drive) and quite honestly I will enjoy giving a lecture on these type of discussions
POC777 1 year ago
@POC777 Simply mocking the bible is more than fair, kinder than it actually deserves. Your personal committment to live a life of servile obedience to a book of bronze-age mythology does not obligate the rest of us to pretend that the lies inherent to religion are in any way respectable. They are not! Merely asserted religious belief actively harms humanity. Genuinely fair treatment of religion would go far beyond mere mockery. Please note that I am talking about mocking belief, not people...
jssherrard 1 year ago
@POC777 LMAO. I've read that book from cover to cover TWICE. It's pure moronic evil written by bronze age goat herders, unless you cherry pick the passages you want at the time you want them. Doing THAT just makes you a fucking hypocrite anyway.
bamboo4tameshigiri 1 year ago
@BionicDance Agreed. I also think POC777 is a bit dishonest since he is a Christian who is writing a book detailing why *he thinks* people leave Christianity. It would be in POC777's interest if you were, in fact, making atheism look foolish. On the contrary, I think you are making the Bible appear as foolish as it actually is, and that this is threatening to POC777.
NoMoreMasters 1 year ago
@NoMoreMasters I actually didn't know that about POC777, but it makes perfect sense in that context, yes.
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance Dawkinite fanboys don't count as people, it's a fact.
sugelanren 1 year ago
@POC777
Intellectual christians, where? How can they be "intellectual" if their brains have been fired by deluded bronze aged fairy stories that don't belong in the 21st century. Man, get a life for it looks like you never have experienced one yet.
krissyeh 11 months ago
@krissyeh yup, "intellectual christians" is an oxymoron term. An intelligent person would sound totally retarded if put into a position of defending a fairy tale bible as if it was reality. And such a person will be reduced into a circus clown subject to ridicule.
emancoy 11 months ago
This series is actually making me start to like the Bible --not because I think the book is divine, but because it's incredibly human. The more people try to describe God the more they describe themselves. The Bible is starting to appear to me to be the accumulation of ancient societies expressing unabashedly all their chauvinisms, jealousies, insecurities, pride, hope, ideals, etc. Fascinating stuff.
0utgoingMessages 1 year ago
How old are you? You looks so young buy yet so wise...
mashafasha5 1 year ago
@mashafasha5 My age is on my profile.
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance Wow. If more people were like you when they got that old the world would be an awesome place! I salute you for your awesomeness.
mashafasha5 1 year ago
@mashafasha5 her age will surprise you, considering how hot she is...
doaftheloaf 1 year ago
I couldn't make it all the way to numbers... You are my hero! ;D
etazra78 1 year ago
So Moses basically got everyone lost in the desert for 40 years and God was a bi polar dickhead the entire time. Yeah that sounds great. BTW I think I might cover the Bible the same way as you are, Atheists know more about religion than most Theists after all. I go to an all-girls Catholic school, I always have some type of opinion in Religion class, a lot of stuff the girls themselves don't know about their own religion, but I don't really say it out loud, I don't want to piss anyone off.
DimSimToughBitch 1 year ago
@DimSimToughBitch
It is true most atheist KNOW the Bible better than theists but not those who been trained in the Scriptures for years.
POC777 1 year ago
@POC777 Yeah, I wasn't restricting it to priests, I meant all thesits
DimSimToughBitch 1 year ago
@POC777 I was a believer, "trained in the scriptures for years". And brainwashed by it. If you can't see the horror of the bible, if you can't see the cruel, sadistic evil of Jehovah, and Jesus' bloodthirsty "plan of salvation", you are brainwashed, and there ain't much we can do about that until you let reason creep in.
216trixie 1 year ago
Sounds like god needs to be put on antipsychotics.
SabreKitteh 1 year ago
i'm tired of these mother-flaming snakes on this mutha-flamin plane!
concord327 1 year ago
Nice Davis Fleetwood pastiche at the end.
bdf2718 1 year ago
@bdf2718 I have NO idea what that means, but...uh...thanks? ;)
BionicDance 1 year ago
@BionicDance
Davis Fleetwood. Left-wing comedian and commentator. Often signs off with "I stay in so you can go out." Your sign-off reminded me of that.
Youtube users davisfleetwood & ncfttv. Well worth a sub.
bdf2718 1 year ago
@bdf2718 Ah. I'll have to give a looksee sometime. :)
BionicDance 1 year ago
Thanks for these videos that will hopefully save people from ever picking up the Bible. Coming from an ultra-religious home, I had to read and have that stuff read to me so much that I can not even touch one today. Hehehe, reading the Bible definitely helped make me an Atheist.
rygel52 1 year ago
@rygel52 "properly read, the bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived. " - isaac asimov
doaftheloaf 1 year ago
Damn, I got stuck in a hotelroom once with no TV and grabbed that bible....I couln't get through one complete page, staring at how the ceiling fan spins was way more entertaining.
I must say, you are freaking tenacious reading through all that shit for a video!
Hope somebody somewhere gets a lesson out of it.
ratje67 1 year ago