Added: 3 years ago
From: ASha780
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  • No joke, this is why I'm an atheist.

  • "a piece of garlic bread and a meatBALL?!?"

    "spegETTI bitch NOWW?"

    shrums?

  • someone needs anger mangement

  • the deciples (sp?) where hilarious

  • Is she really flipping out about a spaghetti monster XD

  • Pass the shrums and fucking acid!

  • Someone doesn't get a joke. Plus I've seen less realistic deities than the FSM.

  • i love how many times one can say Jesus Christ but talk shit on another religion they are all the same and this guy is retarded he says who made this up but cannot use his internet to search the answer.

  • "Come up with a religion..." lol, is that how religion works?

  • @RH98 Actually. Yes.

  • @RH98 Yes. Yes that is how religion is born. From the mind of the insane, formulated and formed then slowly spread. 3 people with a crazy thought (like, I don't know, an invisible guy that talks to them only in their heads) becomes religion when there's thousands that believe in the same bit of crazy.

  • @Braddock420 Tell everyone that the voice of your dead mother is in your head and you are schizophrenic, but if its the voice of "God" you hear you're a profit! I hope if I ever contract a psychosis it is the kind that can make you rich.

  • Well, that is very christian of her to leave such a lovely comment.

  • I still find this one of the most hilarious things ever, ever, ever.

  • This is WIN!

  • xDD It is not~ jesus~

  • hahahahhahahaha *tear*

  • "I-m sorry but my spaghetti does not talk to me... ITS NOT GEEZUS." xD thats the best.

  • I'd like to know what kind of "shrums" this person was on to make them type like this.

  • I'm torn between whether this person is serious, or a really good troll.

  • when he said "man u got some good drugs pass that shit around!" and "weres the fucking spaghetti monster!!!" omg we fell off of our chairs

  • Penis

  • I believe in God but this is f**king hilarious.

  • Someone has never seen South Park...

  • @flamingserpanite Flying spaghetti monster has been around way longer than when south park mentioned it.

    The point is to show how ridiculous it is to believe in some invisible guy in the sky. That is the FSM puts into a more clear perspective. If you told people you saw an flying old guy throwing lightning in the sky, would they believe you? No.

  • @LemmyK00pa Not exactly. The point of the FSM is that just because you can't prove something doesn't exist, doesn't mean it does. This works for conspiracy theories, fake science, etc. not just the Judeo-Christian God.

    Saying something is false because "it's ridiculous" isn't a valid argument : /

  • @pomponi0 It's not that it's ridiculous, but unrealistic. A man in the clouds isn't realistic at all, as of a monster made of spaghetti flying around.

  • @LemmyK00pa That's still not a valid argument because what's considered realistic is based on the current scientific knowledge. Back in the day the idea of "really small animals" being the cause of several diseases was considered ludicrous by most scientists. It wasn't because religion was more powerful than now, but because science wasn't advanced enough.

    Also, the "man in the clouds" is based on Renaissance paintings, which were based on Greco-Roman mythology

  • @LemmyK00pa An analogy to the FSM would be if someone told you that there's a chest full of gold ingots buried in your house at an unspecified depth. Now, both chests and golden ingots exist, and unless you dig a hole of the size of the Earth, you cannot disprove his claim, but that doesn't mean he's right.

    His claim isn't ridiculous, just highly unlikely. But you don't have any reason to believe him as long as he doesn't provide any proof.

  • Hail Eris! The Spaghetti Monster's cousin!

  • My spaghetti is Jesus. I don't know where she gets her spaghetti from. 

  • 8 People will be killed by the great spaghetti god tonight.

  • Shrums.

  • R'amen.

  • *head desk head desk head desk* Oh God...I can't tell if he's a bible thumper, or just stupid.

  • @Ophileagoesforaswim What is the difference?

  • @onilink422 Bible thumpers are easy to handle, 1) take bible. 2) Beat thumper with bible (be sure its the bible thumper, not the bunny from bambi)

  • @Ophileagoesforaswim Ahh, good point.

  • God =/= something more realistic

  • Our Pasta, who "Arghh" in the colander, Swallowed be thy sauce. Thy serving come, Thy strands be wrung, On forks as they are on spoons. Give us this day our garlic bread, And forgive us our starchiness, As we swashbuckle, splice the main-brace and cuss, And lead us not into Kraft parmessan, But deliver us from Chef Boy-Ar-Dee, For thine are Meatballs, and the beer, and the strippers, for ever and ever. R'Amen

  • Quick my brothers! Dawn our full pirate regale and oust this non believer! I mean seriously! There are a few books that state the existence of our mighty Flying Spaghetti Monster! Therefore it MUST be true! Let us join our God in battle...even though we have never seen, heard, or felt him. (Easy explanation. He is invisible, silent, and can pass through matter.) When we die my brothers, we will be greeted by a glorious spaghetti heaven dotted with beer volcanos and stripper factories! May you b

  • All hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

  • @TeddyLeach we have been touched by his noodley appendage!!!

  • This is funnier than google translator... XD

  • Haha, sweet Jesus, not only does she not seem to understand the meaning of "satire", but she also seems like a pretty terrible person. Just because someone has crazy beliefs it doesn't justify pissing on their graves.

  • Burning Bushes (Anyone else think Magical Herbs?) can talk to a lowly shepherd, a corpse can up and walk out of its grave (Grave robbers or disciples disposed of the corpse more likely), and a virgin can give birth when science has proven that human reproduction requires two separate sets of DNA (Sperm, and Egg), but Spaghetti cannot be a similarly fictitious deity to the ethereal rapist that is the Christian God?

    And let's not forget, Genocide is what Christians have done since Rome.

  • Presidential transvestite...?

  • The best part was the whole video.

  • haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaha

  • So burning bushes could talk to a shepherd ...

    But a Spaghetti cannot talk?

    This world is meeeeeesed up...

  • Pass that shit AROUND

  • Either she's a TROLL or just doesn't understand the existence of JOKES...

  • lol "Presidential cock", What is she the president of?

  • @heymynameispablo - We could challenge him to a debate, but I lack the necessary pirate regalia to discuss it publicly.

  • All hail the FSM

  • The FSM is much more probable than an invisible tiran in the sky. We know that spaghetti exists and meatballs exist too.

  • I'm actually pretty amazed that someone can be so literate and yet so completely fail at everything mentally. Fallacy, hypocrisy, missing the point, taking for granted aspects of Christianity as if they're necessary for a believe system, failing to live up to the standards of one's own religion... I couldn't fail that many times in so little space if I tried.

  • PASS THAT SHIT AROUND

  • This is quite insulting to me, a Pastafarian.

    Prove to me that your God is real. Then tell me that my religion isn't.

  • Not sure if troll...

  • I actually think I'm going to join this "cult" now

  • umad?

  • I feel so sorry for this person. I hope one day they will be touched by his noodley appendage like I was.

  • howe DARE shea dicsrespet ta flieng spageddie montser!!!!

  • "the god has to at least be realistic" .....and a giant Jewish space zombie in the sky IS?

  • @Shadow78954 Don't you mean a giant BLACK Jewish space zombie?

  • @PsuedoNam I thought it was a Cosmic Jewish zombie who only died to forgive our sins, which are only there because a rib woman was convinced to eat fruit by a talking snake.

  • "YOU'RE ALL A JOKE!"

    As it happens...

  • holy shit

  • WTF??? That does not look like a spaghetti monstarrrrrrr you dumb cunt. Suck my big black presidential cock, BITCH!

  • Hail Eris!

  • Thats not very christian.

  • @ctpaintball4life Yeah, I agree. what christian would desire anyone to go to hell. It didn't sound as if the writer of this note was thinking about the souls of whoever was merely restating Richard Dawkins's stupid goofy god, which incidently he doesn't believe in, he just uses that name to show how absurd he believes the idea of God is. Anyway, it"s sad when some people make it look like christians really think like this guy does! I guess we just pray for them all!

  • Dude, can I get a link to the post where this retard posted this?

  • Yes more realistic. A figure who managed to make the universe in less then a week that's realistic.

  • How Christianly of this poster :P. And how absolutely utterly fail.

  • All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster!!!

  • Her name is Jade Jewel, but she has a big black presidential c*ck? :S

  • wasn't this the thing that led to the little spagetti rhyme that went along the lines of 'our father who art in scilly'?

  • double-you! Tee! Eff! Question Mark! Question Mark! Question Mark!

  • yeah. the god has to be something realistic.

    lolwut?

  • "question mark EXCLAMATION POINT question mark" xD <- "ex dee"

  • The way you read it was very funny :D

  • If there is a god (which of course there is and it's the FSM duh) which is more likely? An infinitely complex carbohydrate that soars above the skies and who's many tentacles reach down upon the earth to bless his many creations OR some guy in the sky who made men who look like him but wtf why do we all look different and why are there men and women, if gods a man why did he think men needed women? WRONG because god IS the FSM and the FSM loves the ladies and he needed some dudes to hang with.

  • lets replace the word "spaghetti" with "jesus" and post this letter in a christian forum :D and then i want a dramatic reading from one of the answers, lol

  • @CaramelBonBon

    No because the Flying Jesus Monster sounds too cool.

  • and this is a christian(exclamation mark, exclamation mark, question mark) poor wayward child, come and shelter under his noodly appendages, and bask in meaty goodness (exclamation mark, exclamation mark,exclamation mark, exclamation mark)

  • All hail the Holy FSM! Pastafarianism is the Only One True Holy Way of Religious Life! Let us all come into His Wiggly Pasta Arms, and be accepted into the Great Kingdom of Love, Free Beer Volcanoes, and Stripper Factories.

  • I bet they were on some SHrumssss at the timeee? Or some...ACID. Cause this is some trippy shit, yes I do believe in hell. But im not gonna' go to hell for believing in false idols like you stupid SPAGhettI!?? JESUS CHRIST I still can't get OVER the fact that you believe in this bullSHIT!!!! Do they like forcefeed you this SHIT, like shove it down your throat WTF? ? ?

  • lol! these vids are too funny. xD There's nothing quite like a post from someone foaming at the mouth over an opinion, of all things.

  • "SUCK MY BIG BLACK PRESIDENTIAL COCK BITCH!!!"

    LOLWTF.

  • ..What? Some people can't take a joke.

  • PASTAFARIANS FTW.

  • LMAO

  • The hate towards all religions is getting out of hand. If you don't believe it then whatever. But there is no need to be hating on everyone for what you believe. And I agree there are some extremists, but generally most of us aren't that bad. So before you judge, know your facts.

  • I love how you said "Pass that shit around!"

    Your voice rocks!

  • bitches don't know 'bout my Flying Spaghetti Monsters. Wait, tie you down and force feed you spaghetti? That almost sounds kinky if it weren't so gross.

    So what religion is this other guy, then? Crystal Dragon Jesus? Stanism? Terrorist? All religions pale before the noddly might of the one true god, so why bother arguing about it?

    Except Vertigo. She could kick FSM''s ass.

  • LOLCOPTER! x'D OH SHIT!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!1!

  • But...there are charts that show and prove a direct link of Global Warming to Fake Pirate population increase.....

    It's science for appendage-sake.

  • There's a religion where you worship a Giant Spaghetti Monster? Fuck yeh. I want his magic meat sauce to cleanse me of my leprocy and his wonderfully delicious pasta arms to allow me see after years of blindness. Then he shall walk across an ocean of Ragu and turn two meatballs into twelve hundred, head sized ones and one French baguette into one hundred loaves of garlic bread, with the garlic butter all warm and gooey and salty in may mouth.

  • "Insert logical comment about the lack of knowledge in most religions here"

  • "...Do they force feed it down your throat?"

    no but you christians do

  • great now i'm hungry

  • jade jewel

  • I don't know if this should be funny or sad

  • "The god has to be something more realistic." The belief in a cosmic Jewish zombie is?

  • At least I can eat and see spaghetti.

  • This dickhead doesn't even know what fsm is...

    I don't like CCs.

  • cue luigi

  • SOMEONE missed the point. 

  • Realistic? Last time I checked, religion was the opposite of realistic.

  • LOL. exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point! hahah

  • Funny stuff (: Though I myself am not a pastafarian, it makes just as much sense to believe in a flying spaghetti monster as it does to believe in the Bible. I mean, come on, man wrote the Bible. Hippies said they understood life and God spoke to them when they were dropping acid or doing whatever drug they could get their hands on. Whatever, I love the reading. It's hilarious (:

  • @boyzconfuseme2011 it's not just hippies, most research into psychedelic drugs has show a large portion of people feel that they have 'met' some sort of pantheistic force after the experience.

  • @el6caballo6oscuro6 One of my school friends was at a gig (he's a drummer) and his drink got spiked while he was off-stage, and since he was underage at the time he got kinda spooked and tried to leave, and as he was walking home he saw a car pull up to him and Jesus stepped out.

    I forget how the rest of his evening went, but I do know that for the rest of the year, I called him Jesus.

  • cleanse the unclean, ignorance to the great spaggetii pantheon shall not go un punished!

  • where's the fuckING spaghetti bitch NOWW?

  • "you guys must have some good drugs pass that shit around!" I actually spat up my Water from laughter

  • Epic reading lol

  • living devil?

  • I am indeed a Pastafarian so I'm very offended from this video.

  • @coolestnerdever122 well he didnt write it he just says it very dramatically plus im a catholic and if and i dont care what people say about me. I have a friend who is aerobic and another that is christian yet we still all hang out together. Also i habe another friend that believes in the spagetti monster as well and i respect that!

  • @puppyface1029w I'm offended that he would read it aloud. I also have friends of other religions and I don't really know why you felt the need to talk about your friend's and your religion.

  • I laughed so hard. It's even better after the fact I ate spaghetti and meatball for dinner.

    "Wheres your fucking spaghetti bitch now? Is he gonna save you? NOO ! cause he's NOT REAL !"

    Made my day.

  • @Twister1808 That's what I had for dinner, too... and it made this even better.

  • One of the funniest things I've ever heard lol XD

  • I love how talking spaghetti is so crazy in comparison to a cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father and can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.

  • So this person is so Pro-Christian, and yet she swears, insults and threatens people she doesn't even know. She also wants to take drugs.

    I'm not even Christian and I know that's against all their morals.

  • I'm Christian, and I find this to be hilarious. Of course, I do believe that there is some guy up in the sky somewhere, with his son who was born to a woman who was a virgin for her entire life.

    And I worship him. He did the exact opposite of the common sterotype (bang a girl, don't get her pregnant) and just told her she was pregnant.

    (This next part's gonna sound like a bad fanfiction, but it's 100% true)

    And then she was pregnant.

  • DOUBLE-UUUUUU TEEEEEEEEEE EFFFFFFFFFFFF question mark

  • something more realistic. hmm...... like an incorporeal entity sitting around in a city in the clouds commanding half-man/half-birds to do his bidding while impregnating random women. that makes more sense.

  • I loled.

  • im sorry my spaghetti does NOT talk to me, it is NOT Jeesuuuss!?

  • laughed so much!

  • AND HEZ NOT GOD EXCLAMATION POINT

  • leave it to christians to take that forum seriously

  • Oh look mommy! It`s one of those retards who can`t understand deliberate, obvious jokes!! Can we keep em! Pleeeease! He`s so stupid and funny!

  • I have been touched by His noodly appendages!

  • some one misses the point of the flying spaghetti monster lol

  • Been awhile since I laughed so hard.

    Man, people are just so ridiculous.

  • Oh man how did you presumably keep a straight face? :D

  • @Indivicivet I don't think he did. How could he? XD

  • Lmao ass off pass that shit around!! Ahaha

  • @monkeyfeverlol What`s so perfectly hilarious about this guy`s mad rant is that he`s falling right into the whole idea of the FSM; which is that all religions are based on some kind of ridiculous mythology. So he`s calling these people crazy for believing in the FSM, while he is guilty of believing in something equally retarded. Meanwhile, the whole idea of the FSM was invented as a joke, in fact it was invented by atheists, and he`s too stupid to see that! Pure comedy gold!

  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. This was pretty funny!

  • LULZ

  • I dont know when spaghetti turned "Not real" and god did...

    hmm..

    i think i might be a little late?..

  • RAMEN!! brothers!

  • SPELL SPAGHETTI RIGHT, MORON!

    5 stars for not LOLing in the middle of reading this. xD

  • hey man, im down with Saint Garlic Toast and the Blessed Mother Meatball

  • MEeeeaatball

  • MonsterrrRRRRrrrrrRRRR.

    LOL exclamation point

  • Wow, that kid needs a chill pill.

    Haha. Best reading ever.

    FSM ROCKS. Somebody doesn't get the concept of what it's all about.

  • Is it wrong that I thought it sounded delicious when he said he wanted to force-feed me a lot of spaghetti? : |

  • Fuck yes! FSM!

  • Explanation point?

  • I swear, I was rofling for about 10 minutes straight.

  • Ahahahahahahahahahahha still love it.

  • meatBALLL~

  • Suck my big, black, presidential cock, bitch!

    Best thing ever.

  • OMFG, when he said, "fucking SPA-GHETTI!"

  • holy crap this is the best fucking thing ever.

  • LOOL

  • ...why on earth does jade jewel have a big, black, presidential cock?

  • Spaghetti > Jesus

  • This proves two constants in life:

    People who don't like to think take their religion to an insane level

    and people who can't think take the internet far to seriously.

    The lack of thinking also contributes to the shit spelling and grammar

  • She does'nt even know its a meme lol.

  • Well maybe your spaghetti should talk!

  • You guys must be on good drugs pass that shit aROUUUND(?)!

  • What the fuck is an explanation point?

  • ah - the infinite compassion and tolerance of Christians... "I cut your god! I cut him so bad he wish I not cut him so bad!!!" ROFL.

  • so much anger about a joke lol

  • The flying spaghetti monster is a book describing a mock religion. Their god is the flying spaghetti monster.