Panel Of Caged Average Americans Weigh In On Economy

[Nocturnalux]

"Killing you and escaping!"

[BROOL23]

I swear to God I am going to kill you hahahaha

[TheCrimsonification]

Maybe the US should think along the lines of what sports does. Make a trade. Most Canadians would be willing to offer Ontario, and Quebec for Alaske, Washington and Hawaii. Shit, we'll throw in Labrador for free. We're nor sure what Labrador is. It's not a Province or Territory, it's just sitting there, being all cold and worthless.

[kzh910]

fox news poll....

[greenchef6]

@TinyMcLarge You don`t see how different policies would affect the world differently now then back in then? The only thing he has going for him is he is the least insane Republican candidate..not exactly impressive to me. Texas is a shithole one person cannot redeem it.

[greenchef6]

@TinyMcLarge Maybe if it was 1850 lol

[bio1slave]

I am going to kill you, I swear to God I'm going to kill you!

[tinoking]

these are older Americans and don't I find there opinions valuable wider range of hostages

[brva88]

@tinoking Learn how to use punctuation or GTFO.

[tinoking]

@brva88 no need to be a dick

[93224956]

lol is this real

[rist98]

@93224956 Suuuurre... .its real alright... lol... but if you think about it, its more real than anything else. Its all just soo fake.

[Muckknuckle]

@93224956 Yes, it's real.

[hockeybuzz555]

Montana!!! They can't get rid of Montana. The amazing skiing, the scenery, the national parks, the atmosphere.

And yes I know it's not real.

[SupaTROopa2]

@hockeybuzz555 That shit would stay there, there not carpet bombing Montanna. The mountains aren't going anywhere.

[livefreest]

The Onion News channel!

[Yepimdatguy]

567 people thought this was fake.

[675frank]

Haha i just moved from north dakota and yeah they need to destroy it

[palipride47]

Mississippi, Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, West Virginia, South Carolina (State Legislature voted to separate from America anyway), Texas (threatened to secede, let them go), Kentucky, Tennessee, Louisiana, and Alaska

[SoldierCyfix]

lol her cold war instinct just cut in

[coolcc1t4h]

I am watching this even though im Canadian

[AlexanderMazarakis]

this reminds me of school, without the cage and the electrocution of course... in some schools

[LLightDeathnote18]

This reminds me of high school...

[MrBrilliantChaos]

Lol new book claims jesus was fat.

[JadiRose7]

Yeah, cut ND out of the union. Just see what happens.

[alexbaker98]

YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE FOR EVERYONE, ROGER.. ROFLMAO!!!!

[Wutwut1n1]

Watching Britney Spears as a child has now made me uncomfortably attracted to Brooke Alvarez. Thank you, and good night

[stitch99]

@Wutwut1n1

Were you the child or was Britney? One's kind of cute, while the other's downright creepy.

[Wutwut1n1]

@stitch99 I know she's creepy but she was successful because she was marketable and didn't make you think too much but still got your attention. Now I am always distracted by women and can't deal with them in reality because they have become romanticized sex objects for me =(

[stitch99]

@Wutwut1n1

I don't think you understood me. I was pointing out the ambiguity in your wording. It could be read as "I, as a child, watched Britney Spears," or "I watched Britney Spears when she was a child." The latter was the creepy option.

[silver117atg]

is this a real news network ?

[dawnofmonkey]

@silver117atg your retarded

[dawnofmonkey]

@dawnofmonkey you spelt you're wrong fag

[silver117atg]

@dawnofmonkey and ur a dumb bitch

[ryanroosterr]

@silver117atg yea

[elkpointscanner]

@silver117atg yes it is. they always kidnap people off the streets and they are legally allowed to do it. (Facepalm)

[dh2776]

@silver117atg 100% real............ dumbass

[ChipSm1th]

North Dakota has the best economy in the country and the lowest unemployment rate too. I know this is a joke but I wouldn't say it's unimportant

[TheYouwontgetit]

i don't live in the usa but isn't it illegal to hold people in a cage like that...?

[Digitalis17894]

@TheYouwontgetit ... lol 

[QueenAnime99]

@TheYouwontgetit The Onion News Network is fake. Satire, basically.

[TheYouwontgetit]

@QueenAnime99 ...how does that entitle them to keep people captives...?

[QueenAnime99]

@TheYouwontgetit They are all actors (the news reporter and the people in the cages). No real people are being held captive. It's a fake show pretending to be a real news show. I hope that makes more sense. Good day. :D

[anonymousman555]

@QueenAnime99 He gets it, I've seen his comments on other Onion videos. He just thinks he's funny.

[QueenAnime99]

@anonymousman555 Okay. Thanks. Good day.

[blindthrall]

My vote's for Puerto Rico.

[Case632]

@1:15 Enemy nuke incoming. It's over :(

[rapidfireXring]

News is always more interesting with more cleavage.

[Jawzdevos]

ooh feeding i thought they said beating

[FangBang3r]

cut California its sinking into the ocean anyway lol

[ThatHaloGuy117]

Lets cut california!

[werewolfhugger911]

Loving how this video is so controversial.....

[MisterDyslexo]

Can we just cut Texas and pretend it was 12 states?

[MrArrghimapirate]

@MisterDyslexo hey man i'm from texas, dont hate on us

[MisterDyslexo]

@MrArrghimapirate Sorry. Is it better if we just deport Rick Perry and like most of the people who attended his Pray-a-thon (or whatever he called it) and say that was 12 states?

[MrArrghimapirate]

@MisterDyslexo haha i was kidding about the texas comment personally i'm for the "pray a thon" tho

[Krosbryd]

@MisterDyslexo

Hey! I'm a Texan!

... *upvotes when no one is watching*

[fabaum22]

@MisterDyslexo No, no, no, you keep Texas, as the rest of the world needs it in order to make cruel generalizations to your entire country.

Seriously, though, Texas is becoming the sort of thing one would expect to see in Onion.

[draskuul]

@MisterDyslexo Fine by us. We put more money into the federal coffers than we get back, so it would mean more money for us.

[AThetan]

This is actually something Frank Luntz is working on for Fox.

[alixtron]

@ThePff1 make me

[Taricus]

The old lady is my favorite! She's got so much spunk in her! It means she's really passionate about her opinions! I hope they continue feeding her to keep her on the show!

[iTzWhuteverZ]

@dominic7982 iTz theyre job u fucking dipshit ... Sigh* ... Fucking white people ... :/ smh

[ThePaperPineapple]

Funniest line in the whole video is Pamela saying, “killing you and escaping!”

[dominic7982]

how do you guys make it look soo real

[JMaSsA11]

Tactical nuke sound

[KillaNinja0]

it wsa cuz he was black

[WavesOfTrolls]

this is what fox news and cnn do

[PhantomZzZKitty]

Lol

[Indrius]

Oil to run out Tuesday

[celebritarianprez]

she hot me want

[EmmaYaBasta]

one of their best! liberal democracy: it ain't that great, but use or lose it!

[ShawnJD10]

They kidnapped Cleveland Brown O_O!

[antoinefilms]

@ShawnJD10 haha no! It's Stanley from the Office!

[shoshenkis]

559 people recognized themselves in this show !

[slapnut892]

Onion news, you just made my week for sure. The irony is killing me. XD

[Blacckkfire]

Bring back in the know! I miss people filling in for clifford banes

[Estragon17]

@Blacckkfire I miss Clifford Baines. He was such a great host. Far better than any of the hosts that often filled in for him in later seasons... excellent as they were.

[FromHablit]

@Blacckkfire Fact Zone is filling in for "In the Know", which is busy clutching the body of its dead lover in an emptied Paris street as its tears mix amid the pouring rain.

[lordtalon69]

@Blacckkfire

Agree 1000% I miss the angry black lady, I miss the opinionated fat white lady on the round table discussions, I miss all the old onion hosts and cohosts :(.

[EvilLamas]

This is very clever and all that- but the new Onion cannot compare to its former glory:(

[LeviCarlton]

dont like new onion

[soinicx2]

KILLING YOU AND ESCAPING

[savemyplaylist]

New book claims Jesus was fat

[freereg29]

@savemyplaylist well he liked eating as our teacher told us

[cyanmanta]

Honestly, when was the last time you heard a viewer opinion on any news or punditry program that changed your mind or helped you understand any side of an issue better? Opinions are like assholes, people. Not only does everybody have one, but also nobody spends much time thinking about them because they know, deep down, they're all full of shit. Also, the older we get, the more important it is to us that something meaningful come from our opinions...

[DGcomedyy]

When they zapped the black dude they played the nuke sound from MW2. Hahahaha

[ajiwukari]

Isn't that the possessed lady from that move "LEGION"?

[TheChojiboy]

lol "your lying rodger, and thats not allowed here."

[InfiniteMomentStudio]

i. love. it.

thank you for making this onion ^^

[BB1951]

I highly recommed cutting California from the union. It's HIGH TIME we became an independent nation of drug crazed zombies.

Think of the savings with 9 less states. 

[BB1951]

@BB1951 Um... 12 less states would save even MORE money!

[Clear1]

@BB1951 Better yet, cutting all 51 states would MUCH MORE money!

Hooray for Capitalism! [/joke]

[macintosh264]

"I am going to kill you, I swear to god I am going to (unheard mumbling)

[evinism]

This is a fantastic sampling technique! No voluntary response allowed. I'd say their sample size is a bit small, though. They should really cage more average people. Even better: Pick from a random set of houses and kidnap the people. Therefore we have NO bias whatsoever in our sample.

[WatcherIsWatching]

I could totally see the USA ending up like this some day!

[sl33t01]

breaking news ticker: "Jesus may have been fat."

[Phalystrix]

This is how it's going to be next year. Instead, the VeriChip is going to control people.

[JunetheHomemaker]

This is horrifying AND amazing. Way to make me happy and creep me out all at once, The Onion!

[Hotnog123]

What is Mrs Diangeles doing out of her home?!

[iamcrazy7]

why the hell is Friday by Rebecca Black in the suggestion bar...

[alixtron]

@iamcrazy7 she's the ultimate social satire - she's become famous because people hate her.

[truebinx]

not watching is an act of defiance

[TheDazro]

Holy shit the old lady's the shut-in from today now XD

[AvsJoe]

That old woman scares the tar out of me.

[92451721921892113]

"lets see how your opinions change after we come back from feeding."

[851852093114208513]

"Volvo's safest car yet features cabin filled with amniotic fluid."

[deanmullen10]

lol "my grand kids don't know where I am."

[Kaktus222]

I miss the old Onion =(

[kikoun86]

Bring back the old ONION NEWS NETWORK for f*** sake !!!! THIS IS NOT FUNNY !!!

[WeEatBrainz]

@kikoun86 I agree, i still think its funny, but the brooke alvarez shit is getting old.

[SVTcoolguy]

"Oil to run out Tuesday"

[Clearie552]

Is that old lady the same person they had playing the anorexic old lady a while ago? Or maybe from something else on the onion, she looks familiar. And I like the blonde lady, just sayin. She cool.

[Merrymella]

@Clearie552 Yes, she seemed familiar to me, too, but I can't remember which clip I saw her in.

[gleefanatic2011]

irony as comedy is a powerful tool to see the truth

[moonmasterShake]

this blond is real annoying, why would they change the other lady they had before they went live and stuff...

[Xonx68]

Wow, what happened to the Onion?? It used to be brilliant comedy. Now it's like a bunch of SNL skits or something.

[MATTACK420]

my grandchildren don't know where i am =\

[TomahawkTerror]

I live in Rhode Island! NOOOOO!!!!!

[daltonplaysthesax]

"Warden approval rating at 2%"

[breezyfish]

This was hilarious!

[DerSchnurrbart]

Of course they shocked the black guy...

[JoeMStanford]

@DerSchnurrbart HAHAHAHAHAHA :D

[SeanG730]

0:30 "Texas zoo shooting renews debate over arming animals" LMAO

[AmbivalenceHopeful]

GET WITH THE GAME, ROGER!

[zekuhryuh]

This was funny. I don't see why everyone keeps whining...

[OneLemming]

Crap... The onion is just crap. I used to think "how can they keep making funny video after funny video?" but I see the run is over. Unsubscribe.

[anon12377]

"Killing you and escaping!" LOL

[MrTouchShriek]

Could have been so much better. :(

[TomaCukor]

Brooke is a milf

[futurestoryteller]

How could they do that to these people!

[laputadetumadre11]

i really don't like this new brooke alvarez chic. Give me back Debbie!

[eat1369]

"I am going to kill you i swear to G-"

"well we;re going to check back in..."

[Thrashaero]

onion needs to fire their new script writer or whomever decided this was good enough for a video. save it for some cutting room floor collection of crap for the super hardcore no-life fans.

[RobbieApok]

the thumbnail kinda looked like a muppet

[therealcharismatron]

When I first saw this I didn't like it and I didn't think it was funny. After some thought, I've come back to comment to say it's genius: in a few short minutes, this clip shows how much disdain news programs have the for average viewer and citizen. It shows how programs have a captive audience that it doesn't care about or even take seriously. This clip is painful to watch because it's a circus-mirror of reality: it's the truth warped into comedic truth.

[mhdickson]

@therealcharismatron And its not just the US reporters/news sadly - Australian commercial networks have zero respect for the public - all they care about is ratings. Oh and their pay of course.

[discipleofhoudini]

@therealcharismatron amen

[DoctorObviously]

@therealcharismatron QFT.

[TysonKempTV]

@therealcharismatron Damn. You're deep.

[OldStyleMuay]

@therealcharismatron hahaha, you got it bud!

[millenniumrelations]

@therealcharismatron and theres a fat black guy. which is always good.

[kangaimRoo]

@therealcharismatron I totally agree! I was shown this by a friend and I asked him how he could laugh of that. It was to sick to be funny. But to me it turned out to be more than funny, it was rather truthful. ironic really. The only news station I have ever been able to trust and it's not even real.

[RainbowManification]

@therealcharismatron Americans only pay attention to sugar-coated reality

[ShaithMaster]

@therealcharismatron I just busted a mind-nut

[Speedj2]

@therealcharismatron ive noticed a lot of onions videos are like that actually. which is why i go to the onion as my most trusted news source. its really a lot more straitforward and unbiased than all the other BS news stations ive seen on tv (cnn, abc, fox, nbc, cbs).

[sweetbilly]

@therealcharismatron Wow, not to insult you but you had to watch this more than once and then think about what you just watched to figure that out?? ...God help us, please tell me you aren't voting in 2012!

[therealcharismatron]

@sweetbilly No, I didn't watch this more than once--please try to read what I actually wrote.

I watch The Onion for it's humour and satire. My first reaction was that it wasn't funny and my second--after some thought--was that it was very insightful through the use of atypical, dark humour and not their typical comedic formula. Then, I posted my thoughts. Thinking about things is an important thing to do and from your misunderstanding of my post I can only recommend you try it sometime.

[sweetbilly]

@therealcharismatron Oh no, I understood your post just fine. Your own words: "When I first saw this I didn't like it and I didn't think it was funny. After some thought, I've come back to comment to say it's genius". ...you had to do a double take. I'm not insulting you, I'm really not, I just think it's sad that Americans have become so apathetic and tuned by the BS they don't even get the joke anymore. This is enigmatic of what's happening in America and it's destroying us.

[sweetbilly]

@sweetbilly People are so tuned out, apathetic, disgruntled and just plain pissed off at everything today they can't or won't discern between the truth and the bullshit that gets rammed down their throats over and over, even though most of it's not even relevant to the issue at hand. Politics/News on any channel is just brainwashing and posturing for particular political body.

[sweetbilly]

@sweetbilly No one really discusses the issues factually so that the American people can make the "right decisions" for themselves (I stress the words right and decision here) which in turn is destroying this country which in turn creates more divisiveness amongst the people and further civil unrest and apathy until we have American people, school teachers, army veterans, business owners etc... in chains. I found your statement and the amount of thumbs up you've gotten for it to be quite scary.

[sweetbilly]

@sweetbilly Sorry my answer is so depressing and long, just listened to Obama bitch about how much he hates rich people while I'm drowning in debt ...I know, I am a real buzz kill. :P Don't get me wrong I love the onion, the satire and humor are outstanding, but I also think this kind of humor makes people ambivalent and narcoleptic when they need to be decisive, coherent and educated. Then suddenly I wondered which soup kitchen I'll be eating at and which flophouse I'll be sleeping in.

[therealcharismatron]

@sweetbilly I agree with much of what you say. However, I am optimistic that viewers of The Onion are not as ambivalent as you suggest. I am hopeful that the positive response The Onion receives is based on a broad desire to acknowledge the socio-political problems we face. This response, imho, is a small but necessary step from being a passive consumer of political humour to becoming an informed and active participant in local or national politics.

[chukas88]

Die

[sebzavoico]

wat uv got to realize is that the onion is all about satire, commenting on things on society like stupid news people. this might not be as funny as the other ones, but its still pretty good satire. so its not all about the funny, its about the thing that they're trying to make fun of. and they do a pretty good job at both of those

[Ray5472]

What are you people talking about, this one was still hilarious.

[jw2113]

wheres the sarcasm in this

[laputadetumadre11]

@jw2113 lol you don't get it, and it's not sarcasm it's satire dumbass

[jw2113]

@laputadetumadre11 no i get it, its just not funny and i know its not sracasm which is why its a stupid onion

[Victoria5602]

California should be at the top of the list!

[Jsd8675]

Horrible, Onion... you've really fallen to shit.

[MaddJP]

this one sucks

[BattleshipAgincourt]

This kind of thing isn't real, is it?

I almost believed I was watching Onion news.

[Jermbot15]

@IamaRifle That's just it, if you live in one of the red welfare states, like you claim, than your state pays LESS in payroll taxes than it receives in federal aid. So, even IF we stopped taking the money that your state pays into social security, medicare, and medicaide it wouldn't be NEARLY enough to pay for everything the North East and Western states do for you via the federal government. Not to mention it would leave over half your state without health insurance or retirement money.

[IamaRifle]

@Jermbot15 That's fine with me. SSN, Medicare, and Medicade are horrible programs, that shouldn't be controlled by the federal government.

[Hasuris]

I guess the "2 out of 3"-thing was the point of this?

[filipec86]

her name is Suzanne Senna

[Vla3d]

Whoever disliked this video will be punished by Brooke Alvarez, believe me, she WILL find you!