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From: cookies7103
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  • LMAO!! He never ceases to amaze me with his humor!! He make me laugh til my stomach muscles hurt!!!! Um...God bless you, Dane!! LOL!!!

  • I love this guy!

  • I miss George Carlin. I think we all know what he would have said about that!

  • How stupid.

  • Dane cook... Marry.... You're a genius!!

  • the ending is like the pure definition of irony

  • i think this is the one that he didn't steal

  • ... I'm Atheist and I thought that was pretty funny... I wasn't expecting the bible thing at the end... It made me chuckle.

  • prick

  • Seriously, this isn't funny. What's funny is that people who believe in someone whose existence goes against all logic think this is funny.

    A tree is a tree. Not a person. A tree gets cut down, not a person.

    And to everyone who can't stand it when people think this is funny: Move to North Korea. Opinions don't exist there. They do everywhere else, though, so you have to deal with them.

  • @4ingP my question for you is you looked up the video... knowing what its about and yet your just being a troll over it cause of your opinion you know what good you have an opinion you wanna share itt youtube comments are made to be help users with there videos but when it isnt me acting or even me part of this video at all shove your comment up your ass cause dane cook isnt gonna come here and read it

  • @cookies7103 I didn't look the video up. It doesn't make someone a troll if they don't like something, it makes you intolerant if you can't stand the fact.

    Where in my comment was I talking to Dane Cook?

    And where is your question for me? Your comment lacks punctuation.

  • Epic! Haters- you watched it right? You just furthered his fame. The only thing worse than being talked about is, not being talked about. What have you done that's so cool? He's a famous star worth millions. You? Yeah that's what I thought, keep believing mommy was right and that you are special or important. Suicide IS an option for you.

  • People that don't think this is funny.

    GO. THE FUCK. AWAY.

  • @MetalHead420100 I hope you're atheist so a fat sweaty guy can cut you down when you're a tree, make you into paper, then print the bible on you

  • this isn't funny. i just came from a great george carlin video....he makes Dane cook look like a fuckin amatuer haha

  • @MetalHead420100 Everybody makes Dane Cook look like an amateur

  • @9Speed haha. good point...its just sad that this fucker is selling out, in fuckin stadium shows...ugh...

  • Sorry, was that just a Catholic person having a sense of humour?!

  • All u hatred ... Cut the shit!! U know u laughed

  • @party489 religion may be a joke to you but to many others it's not.....

  • He is so funny!!!! I luv him!!!!!!!!

  • i freaking love dane cook!

  • when God judges you after you die, you cannot say that you did not know.

  • Irony at its finest!

  • why does everyone hate dane cook? hes awesome

  • I am the 100 person who disliked this

  • Religion is the real joke .Whats funny is people that are dumb enough to believe in talking snakes,magic fruit, 900 yo men building boats, living in a fish for a few days,talking burning bushes etc etc etc, well pretty much any of the fairy tales they believe. Its no different than laughing at someone that believes the Cat in the hat is a true story and live their life by it. ALL Religions are just fairy tales and people believing in fairy tales is the real joke. Kinda a sad joke..

  • People have to remember that this skit is NOT about Atheists!! It's about this one guy that was being a smartass after Dane tried to be polite!

  • @1nijigirl2 no, i think he made his point VERY clear.....jesus is the lord, our saviour and to whom we are ultimately answerable to....what a fucking joke....dane cook is a boring, shallow douchebag with no timing or content......jesus christ!!! these fuckheads will laugh at anything!....p.s there is NO fucking god so wake up and be responsible for your own life.

  • Isn't it sad that even before looking anywhere below the video I knew this was going to turn into a debate of some sort...

  • -3*

  • Geniuss. -3

  • I love this skit. We now have a group of Evangelical Atheists at my university lol. They call themselves the Secular Student Association, but I like my friend's term of "Evangelical Atheists" better lol. And they meet on Sunday nights.

  • im an atheist and i found that funny

  • @Matty4eva2000 thank you :D but

  • pfffff

  • Not funny!

  • @No1Chapski either is your vag :O

  • In Finnish language we don't have the problem of what to say to a sneezing atheist, because what we say to people who sneeze is not a religious blessing, it can be said to anyone regardless of their beliefs or lack of them.

    In Finnish we say "Terveydeksi" (~ into health), implying that we wish that whatever ailment made you sneeze will soon release its hold of you, turning sickness into health.

  • @BeekillerJohanna Although the Finnish exprassion "Terveydeksi" translated literally to English won't produce a good saying, imagine how WTF people are going to be when someone says "into health" when they sneeze. However, saying "for health" might be easier to take into to use. Example:

    Guy sneezes. You say "For health". He goes "Huh?" and you say "Yeah, for health, as in 'I wish what made you sneeze makes way for health'". He goes "Oh, ok, thanks." You win at being polite and unoffensive.

  • I don't care if its making fun of Atheists this shit's still not even funny.

  • @bcroger2 

  • Ugh. I hate this man.

  • @imlan123 i only watch him because of his voice.

    i want his voice in my mouth

  • He is confusing atheism with Hinduism...sorry fail Dane.

  • Such anger towards atheists. Oh well he isnt very funny anyway.

  • what a dumb ass.

  • This guy is soooo not funny, if fact he sucks.

  • This is lame.

  • dane cook isnt funny, but this joke was his best.

  • How pathetic.

  • Well, atheists can have kinky sex. Suck it.

  • Hitler was an atheist. Not convincing.

  • @bookwormsrcool hitler was not an atheist

  • @bookwormsrcool

    Hitler was a Christian, dumbass.

  • Oh man I never tough that Dane Cook was this boring.

    That was before I saw a video of him.

    And he also seems to be a quite aggressive annoying prick.

  • Dane Cook is hilarious, I dont care what all the haters say.

  • I do like this vid. I just wished you had his full act on the atheist sneeze : /

  • yea sry about that i didnt think to put it that long to long of an upload canada internet is shit

  • Wow...if this were funny, I'd appreciate it. But it's just so loud and desperate.

  • this isnt funny..

  • i cant believe this video is related to george carlin - go watch george carlin then watch this guy, carlin is much much much better - and how about not saying anything when someone sneezes u nerdy fuck haha now thats funny

  • Does this seem psychotic to anyone else? Cause this guy is seriously creeping me out.

  • UM, How about religious tolerance?

    BTW, I have at least 6 atheist friends and I accept them all for our differences...but I strongly believe in God.

    And ...this is hilarious ...I've shown them all.

  • this is fucking garbage

  • LOL

  • Dane Cook is so great,

    And people that think he sucks,

    I'd like to see you accomplish what he has,

    Become a multimillionaire by telling jokes.

    Do it, I dare you.

    Dane Cook is god.

  • lame

  • This guy is the lamest comedian ever.

  • well he rips off most of his act so honestly if it's not funny maybe it's his delivery or that he has no taste on whom to rip off....

    but yah this is seriously bad

  • @mordesmortes oh cram it. comedy is 90% delivery 10% material.

  • @anonazero yup and he can't deliver

  • @mordesmortes you wanna know what eles is bad the fact that there war go complain about that

  • @cookies7103 um left field much? How is war related to this at all? Also actually using English to respond might be helpful.

  • @mordesmortes uh it's not im just saying you think this is bad how about war why dont you go on other peoples videos and start stuff with them cause it's a video doesnt mean it's real so if you have a problem deal with it go watch happy tree friends :)

  • @cookies7103 What do you mean? I think Dane Cook fails as a comedian. That is it. Your bringing up irrelevancies to the conversation, I asked you to explain what you meant and all you have done is repeated the same gobbely gook. Telling me to go bother someone else is rather silly as the same criteria could be applied to your statements to me.

  • @mordesmortes if he fail as a comedian then why watch him and can we just forgetabout it and live are lives watch videos on youtube it's thats what it's for

  • @mordesmortes u think dane cook fails? u fail myfriend u fail

  • Not funny, sorry.

  • Is this guy supposed to be funny?

  • I can't see how people think this guy is funny.

  • Not cool at all Dane

  • Dane Cook = unfunny.

  • your mom = good !@#$er

  • not only is she good but she is paid well for !@#$er too.

  • up i have been doing your mom for years now 1 penny per job XD

  • she does give discounts to the handicapped. the greater the handicap the greater the discount. she's got a really big heart and she also get's some sort of tax break for it. and she really loves her job.

  • so im guessing thats how she meet your dad

  • my real dad no, but she suckered some rich retard into thinking he was my dad. my real dad she met when she was gang raped. she's not sure really which one of the guys it was.

  • i could be your dad cause i put some cream in ur mom many time oh and never kiss ur mom again u dont want to know were her lips have been

  • I don't think so; we have none of the same features.

    she does toss a mean salad. next time she's doing charity work with you, bring a few of your short bus friends and try some dvda with her. it drives her crazy, she can't seem to get enough of it. it's all she talked about at thanksgiving dinner and xmas. "this turkey is nice and moist but not as nice and moist as my cunt gets when I have 2 cocks in my brown eye and 2 in my slit" or "what a nice gift but what I really could use is some dvda."

  • i like pie XD

  • who doesn't?

  • That is clever.

  • Atheist's don't believe that :/

  • bitch SHUT THE FUCK UP

  • You find this funny?

  • hahhaaa lol.

  • Awesome XD

  • So this Dane Cook had to fabricate a story with an atheist (Who goes from "God bless you" to "so what do you think happens when you die" and what atheist doesn't know what a catholic thinks will happen to them) he had to fabricate an offensive story in which he shows the compassion and tolerance of most religious people in that he hopes the guy will be ground up and turned into paper.

    Funny guy.

  • hes not religious u dumbass he says fuck and shit like 24 7. he wasnt tryin to make any point he was just makin a joke. ps: omg hahahahaha yyou said funny guy but what u really meant was not funny guy. hahahaha i get it. ur a riot, unlike dane cook who isnt funny at all. just because the whole audience is dying laughing doesnt mean hes funny! what r u nuts??? funny doesnt result in laughter dumbass, it results in um, um, um...see my point???

  • Way to get defensive. I'm not saying he has no funny material, I'm saying he had to fabricate a story he used to insult atheists for his comedy.

    It would be funny, if I didn't think he was serious.

  • well if he was being serious, then he wouldnt be makin a very good point haha.

  • actually the more i watch it, he might be serous. hes making fun of the arrogance of atheists. but its still a funny joke. haha

  • Yes, I'm pretty sure he's serious considering how vehement he is. My main problem is that he completely fabricated an asshole to play the part of an atheist to put them in a bad light.

  • @guitaristcdc002

    He IS religious. I've heard Christian nitwits say fuck a lot too.

  • yeah but thats not all. he is perverse and suggestive. that obviously goes against christian teachings. he might be "religious" in the sense that he believes in it, but he obviously doesnt give a shit about it.

  • @guitaristcdc002

    That's because he's the average Christian.

  • hey man blame the people, not the religion.

  • @guitaristcdc002 I am too. You're point being what?

  • genial

  • yeah cuppy cake sir or madam you may think that way and yes some things we think are pure is a sin in the eyes of the lord like gay men ,lesbian women that's not why were created for and there gaps in science so what if were kind of closely related to monkeys

    i highly doubt that the "Big Bang theory" started it all.  And I believe they have yet to find a real conclusion to that yet. So god and the afterlife is real AMEN!

  • that makes no sense at all.

  • I love Jesus! He is powerful, mighty, loving, kind, truthful, the beginning and the end! can i get an amen?!?!

  • @sdawson105 Amen! lolz i'm just like you also. i believe in god and i do love him. :)

  • Yeah I'd recommend Jesus myself; that guy trims hedges better than any other landscaper in my area.

  • As far as i'm concerned people, just be honest with yourself. Including your sexuality, your personality, your true belifs, and do what you want, as long as your respecting others.

    Don't waste your time, you loose all faith in yourself when you turn to god and live by all the bible says. No one, knows what happend to the world, though science pretty much explains it. You have ONE life, so why are you going to block true human feelings and emoitons because the bible says it's a sin.

  • ok dude

    dont watch it if your going to say dont make follow god ok i put this video up for people to have a laugh if u dont lke it dont watch

  • Get a Life buddy.. jeezis

  • seriously? you think i have no life just because i commented on a video?

    you don't know me, so i would keep your comment to yourself and respect people.

    thanks.

  • heres for u atheists:

    If you are correct that heaven is fictional, then all of the religious people will have the same outcome as you and simply cease to exist with no eternal life

    however, if religious people are correct, those who have been faithful will go to heaven while the atheists will go to hell.

    ill take my chances and live by the Word of god.

  • @jdubmchs

    lol, you are living by the word of god only because you want to rake your chances. Yea thats really faith for ya lol. Practice a religion JUST IN CASE its true lol. I think a response could be...if you are wrong than you wasted your actual life following a fictional human made concept. You could be right, but if god knows all, he knows your not actually faithful and only "taking your chances"

  • I'm not an atheist, but I agree with you about that guy "taking his chances" and not being faithful. haha

  • Correction, atheist will go to hell along with every religious group on this planet except for 1. Even if your Christian you still have to pick the correct denomination from over 30,000+ available.

    Google "Pascal's Wager Criticisms" to find out why your argument is a poor one.

  • @jdubmchs

    BAHAHA

    you do know that by saying your following god to get to heaven your exhibiting greed?

    which happens to be one of the seven deadly sins :O

    oh jeese better go reread the bible before you speak in public ever again

  • all right then you can live in your fantasy world while i choose to live in the reality

  • hedging your bets eh? well first of all god can see right through that if he exists... Even if an atheist said okay I wanna hedge my bets and believe in god just in case. God will know he doesn't really believe. Second of all which god are you hedging your bets with? Jehovah is the god of Islam, Christianity and judaism but according to each to get into heaven you have to be 1 of the 3. Also what about hindus? Buddhism? mormoms, zeus, poseidon, horus and countless other gods? which to pick?

  • um ok just watch the danm video he posted the video for you to laugh.

  • Actually Yahweh is the god of the Christian bible and Allah is the name of the Muslim god. They all come from one man's concept (Abraham's), but they are both named differently and have completely separate rules from that of Jehovah (Jehovah doesn't want you to praise anyone but him, Yahweh doesn't want you to praise anyone but him and his son (which is him, I guess), and Allah doesn't want you to praise anyone but him and Muhammad, for example).

  • your a fucking idiot

  • @elsponger26

    your pronoun

    1.(a form of the possessive case of you used as an attributive adjective): Your jacket is in that closet. I like your idea.

    2.one's (used to indicate that one belonging to oneself or to any person): The consulate is your best source of information. As you go down the hill, the library is on your left.

  • oh yes I see. I used 'your" instead of "you're." It appears I made a grammatical error in my two word post. Thank you for taking the time to insult my intelligence based of a youtube comment and instructing me to go to a library to brush up on my english. My previous comment still stands regardless. Dane Cook and Harq4LAda... YOUR idiots. Now open your mouths as my feces plummet into them. stinky feces by the way...

  • 2 word post?

  • which religion?

    so let us say that one certain branch of xianity is correct then EVERY other faith and non-faith in the world is doomed to whatever that branch of xianity believes hell is.

    Pascal's Wager is as ridiculous as it is insincere.

  • this was painfully unfunny.

  • This guy is garbage...listen to my main man Bill Hicks!

  • you dont like it dont watch it

  • Well if i didn't watch it i wouldn't know if I like it would I? Now i know i don't, this has to happen from time to time.

  • 1 thing to say

    cookies pwn all

  • I can see why you have annoying comments on this video.

  • i love this man he is awesome as shit

  • the shit coming out of his ass is more awesome than his jokes.

  • Dane Cook is a fucking moron, too bad George Carlin isn't alive to shut his fucking mouth up

  • if you don't like Dane cook then don't watch the damn video and put stupid ass comments on

  • "stupid ass comment"?

    so u say Dane Cook talks smart and i talk stupid? wow dude you're weird.

  • i thought you guys thought atheists were close-minded. This has got to be one of the stupidest pieces of shit ive ever watched

  • Dane Cook is the funniest comedian on earth right now

  • if u mean "the worst" by saying funny then i agree but if not then i recommend u watch some George Carlin videos

  • ^THIS!

  • once he's paper...print the bible on him

    LMFAO I LOVE DANE COOK!!!!

  • geez whats up with people taking this whole god/atheist thing?? its a joke!! you know like HAHA funny! not to be taken seriously!! geez people just laugh at the joke!!

  • if the joke were funny, i would definitely.

  • well geez! someone doesnt know how to lighten up!!! XP i love dane cook so all his jokes are funny to me ESPECIALLY this one!

  • It was kind of funny until the tree part. Even that part could have been funny, but the delivery sucked balls. Dane Cook is one of those commedians that is better at the delivery part than the actual joke, so when he dropped the ball here it stood out like a sore thumb...

  • You know, it's funny how almost any video that contains somethingabout God or Atheism or Christianity or the like, in the comments sections there's always a debate going on about it. Can't you just enjoy something? I'm a Christian, but still just enjoy a funny joke, really it's not that hard. Can't we all just get along?

  • its a funny video and you guys are talking about religion shut up and watch the dam vid

  • lol that was a good one

  • haha that was funny!!

  • soooo gAY

  • once hes paper you print the bible on him lol

  • my friend told me to watch this... lol atheist isn't a religion btw...

  • atheism is a belief that requires a certain amount of faith to "belie" classifying it as a religion, the faith being that there is a "missing link" between their so called skeletons of prehistoric ancestors of human kind, which are apparently people, one having sever rickets, one being based off of a pigs tooth(java man) and the i think it is called neolithic man (correct me if i am wrong) man which was just a regular person who we wouldnt consider un ordinary in at all, just a normal person.

  • Thank you for the commentary, but i think i'll stick with my religion and you can stick with whatever yours is.

  • @kyleprodctionz: atheism is the lack of belief in a god/s or supernatural power/being; that is all. there is no belief in it. ALSO, atheism does not equal evolution. and you are using old information about evolution, about 20 or 30 y/o information.

  • it was a joke...I don't get why people get crazy about it.. >.> if this was about christians then everyone would be like ahahaha so funny christians are stupid, yeah they're brain washed.....this is about atheists and it's just a joke.....-.- and btw I'm a buddhist....I laugh at buddhist jokes .....

  • brain washed... you sir are an idiot , i believe you are thinking of a cult where they "brain wash" and are corrupt but are so called "Christians" any person who looks at that in a logical manner and looks at Christian beliefs would understand that they aren't "Christians" correct? ok maybe your not an idiot but more misinformed. Now i dont exactly know what my beliefs are but i cant deny a presence of an Omnipotent being, nor confirm "him" but if i was a Christian... i am not "brainwashed"

  • yeah....I agree with you and was this comment a reply to mine? If it was then you misunderstood it because I was trying to say that people would say those things about christians if this was a comedian making fun of christians because people DO discriminate and judge based on your beliefs.....I personally don't bash christians, I respect them and btw I'm a buddhist......DANE COOK is funny and this is just jokes.....

  • sooo ur saying all those ppl that follow the bible and have faith and try to live peacefully and pray to a being to give the faith and courage are all brainwashed? no, they aren't u don't have to believe in anything if u don't want to, their is no forcing some one, its certainly not a cult.

  • thats the exact opposite of what i said....