@Ambrosia 192 -- "self-awareness" is how you "distinguish" between "fetus" & "human"? LOL. I'd no idea my 3-wk-old girl wasn't human. Maybe not even my 1-year-old boy (till he starts yelling "mine!" while grabbing his toy from a neighbor kid). Per Science: A human newborn doesn't distinguish between herself & her environment for some time (wiki it). And 1 difference 'twixt a fetus in, say, a horse, & one in a human? One's a horse fetus; the other's a human fetus! "Human" is both noun and adject
Man, this is the funniest piece of material I've heard in awhile. Doug Stanhope is just so funny it should be illegal, like copyright infringement. :)
Rather like ridiculing anti-genocide activists for demonstrating with photos of the Holocaust death camps. Or like mocking 1950's black civil rights activists for showing the victims of lynchings.
What in hell is wrong with Stanhope?
Can a Leftist's conscience, mind and humanity be restored once seared?
@devilchille ...Any reason to not execute murderers?
I mean maybe I will grant you that we shouldn't kill innocent people...maybe not even small, powerless genetically-complete innocent people who are at your mercy... like fetal humans.
But why not kill murderers? If we don't, how fair is our justice system to the innocent victims of murder? ... like fetal humans.
@ProNorden, I was joking on the fact that pro-lifers don't really stand by what thier name says. If your going to call your self prolife, then stand for all life. if not, than they should call themselves, anti-abortionsit's. Alot of ppl who fall into that catergory, are interested in the unborn. After that they don't take much intrest. Personally I think there is to many humans and we need to thin out the herd. And please don't get me started on the justice system.
hicks was hicks and hes a legend in his field,as is stanhope,different styles with similar subject matter.both great...hicks broke ground befor dougiel.theres many good comedians and few great,these phellas are great.
I'm for medical abortion as its safer than the alternative of putting nearly invisible objects near the top of the stairs for her to trip over. Not that I would ever condone such a thing but its early and your mind wanders...
@itzahazylife. You are an idiot. Despite that abortion is a nasty business, childbirth isn't exactly appealing either. Especially considering the carbon footprint.
haha, the carbon footprint? well shit, all the old people in florida are creating one hell of a carbon footprint..why don't we snuff them out, along with all the potential lives we abort everyday?..childbirth is a shitty experience. which is why people shouldn't be fucking irresponsibly. sure, condoms and birth control fail, but rarely..the majority of abortions are obviously people who engage in irresponsible sex that don't wanna take responsibility for their actions.
it IS disgusting..the whole principle is disgusting..it's not about the physical appearance. it's about the fact that the fetus u see in the photo was dismembered while it was still alive in the womb of some irresponsible bitch who waited so fucking long before she decided to get an abortion..pro-choice huh. u have a choice. it's whether or not to go around fucking before you're ready to have a baby.
@itzahazylife I AM a jackass. At least I can admit it. But I only use my jackass-ness for other jackasses. I don't down anyone for the mistakes they make in their lives with a faceless comment on youtube...
i'm not necessarily downing them for getting pregnant as much as i'm downing their choice to pay someone to dismember the living entity growing inside of them with forceps BECAUSE of the mistake they made of getting pregnant. i'm downing them for not taking responsibility for their actions.
I think taking responsibility is exactly what they're doing: If you can't support a child, do you think it's responsible to bring it into the world? B-B-B-B-BUT ADOPSHUN?! No, you simpering ape, adoption is hardly a better choice, have you seen these fucking orphanages? Let me tell you, it's not like it is in the photos and on the websites, man.
utter bullshit..there are plenty of ways to get aid in supporting a child and there are plenty of ways to give your kid up for adoption directly to a family of your choosing. your idea of taking responsibility is snuffing out the life your choice to have sex created?..not to mention, most people get abortions because they CAN step up and take responsibility, but it'd be too INCONVENIENT to do so.
That hardly guarantees a good life, but I can see your stance on it isn't going to waver, agree to disagree there. But sorry, where's the evidence for that last point? Or are you just assuming?
giving your baby up for adoption to people who are looking to adopt a baby, is giving your baby a hell of a chance at a decent life..it's much better than giving it no life at all. there are people waiting to get a baby so they can give it a family. why the hell is snuffing out the baby even an option when there are so many people looking to adopt? i''ll tell u why..because many women don't wanna go thru with the pregnancy.
And you want to make women go through something that they don't want? All that pain? SHAME ON YOU, SHAAAAAMMMEEE, you sadist. It seems that you like pulling 'facts' out of that large ass cavity of yours, aborting all these stoic, shitty opinions and posting them here, see, abortion prevents idiocy in real life. I'm saving you man, one shady abortion at a time.
I don't really think a fetus is human, that's all it really comes down to. Also, your mother's a slut.
go thru something they don't want?..maybe they shouldn't be having irresponsible fucking sex that can result in the creation of a life. then they wouldn't be faced with the scenario in the first place!..you're just another liberal spreading the ideology of irresponsibility. go ahead, fuck without protection all u want, because if u create a life, u can just snuff it out. solve one irresponsible action, with another irresponsible action..problem solved, right?
pulling facts?..it's logical deduction..condoms and birth control fail, but rarely..the majority of abortions can only be from those who engage in irresponsible sex..this liberal culture of letting people get away with very poor choices, is NOT teaching anyone anything..if u don't wanna go thru pregnancy, don't have irresponsible sex! no one should be able to engage in an action that creates a life,and then get to snuff out that potential life because they don't wanna deal with it
a fetus has a brain, a central nervous system, arms, hands, an individual identity, it's very own dna. it's human. and it's a being. so what the fuck would u call it if not a human being??
"Also, your mother's a slut. "
and you're 54 years old?..what a pathetic, lame addition to the end of your comment..really speaks volumes.
I'd call it a fetus. Faulty logic: A dog also possesses all of these qualities, are you suggesting that it is also human? I know what you're trying to say, but you'd be wrong anyway. The fetus's nervous system is virtually indistinguishable from the respiratory system in the early stages of its existence. It feels no pain before the third trimester. It lacks many things that a human does.
However, the nature of what a human essentially is is more philosophical than physical, or biological. Personally, self awareness plays a large role in how I distinguish a fetus from a human. In regards to your pulling facts comment, you keep going back to the same thing. Circular logic man. You still don't have any figures to back you up, you're assuming, which is very irrational.
All in all, I still assert that it is the mother's right to decide whether to allow something that is still technically a part of her should be allowed to live or not. It's about freedom and rights essentially, regardless of the morality of it the choice of bringing a child into the world. You always hear people going on about how 'she' made the right choice in bringing the baby to term. If pro-lifers had their way, there would be no choice. No right, no wrong. Only one option.
i just think abortions should be regulated more..i think later term abortions shouldn't be allowed..if u want an abortion, u should be required to do it before significant development occurs.
We got our 'No Refunds' DVD y-day! Even tho we've seen most of it in clips on here, watchin THE STANHOPE had us in fits of laughter...Again! He's the man! Lol! ;D xxx
@woodywefc He's often on Charlie Brookers shows. In fact he was on yesterday on Charlie Brookers Yearwipe on BBC1 or 2 I think. Look out for it, it's brilliant! lol
yeahhh one of my aunts has the fetus photo on the goddamn refrigerator. She's had it on there for years. Meaning she's had her children, at young ages, see that.
She also has some other pro-life propoganda and such on the refrigerator. At first I thought the whole thing was just weird, but now it's just hilarious.
The bit on calling up the anti-abortion guy and approaching him from an even more conservative angle has got to be one of the most clever bits I've ever heard from any comedian ever.
Wow.. I 'am sure he probably gets a lot of comments in veins of "He's Carrying Bill Hicks Legacy " and stuff but I think we should judge him own his own merits and his own ideas and good god he's a funny, witty and an insightful man.
@sowhat123 yup. In fact I think he's smarter than hicks was. Hicks knew what was going on in the world but Stanhope articulates it with a much higher grade of intellect. Don't tell Doug that though :P
Yeah, true statement. Hicks was funny, as was Carlin and all the others. I can't stand when people call someone "the next Hicks," or "the next Carlin," or whatever. No, there was one, Carlin, one Hicks, and there's one Doug Stanhope.
Lol. Funny how anti-abortionists think that we should become like them just because they show pictures of aborted featuses, but at the same time they're probably not against war in the Middle East. I mean, are they gonna change their minds about war if I showed them a picture of some Iraqi kid with his legs blown of? Don't fucking think so...
hahah hey how about pro lifers that were for bush and the war. lol. what a fucking contradiction. folks. you can not support any sort of war or death if you support these pro-lifer anti abortionist.
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Your twisting words. Most people who are pro-war are so because they believe war now can prevent a larger loss of life in the future,not because they want people to die. Lots of Pro-lifers are religious nutjobs, but many like myself simply believe that you shouldn't have the right to kill a unborn child simply because you were irresponsible. Obviously situations where the mother could or will die, or the baby is expected to die in the womb or birth are different and present a more complex issue.
Yeah, right- how about the death penalty? Or does your sanctitiy of life bullshit only apply to a being shorter than a foot-long hotdog and abut the same size?
Most people who are pro-war are so because they are jingoistic morons prone to violence and in need of mindless rhetoric.
If you look around this world and the one issue that sticks out to you so much that you need to protest it, is what women do with their vaginas, and clumps of undifferentiated cells, then you are a short-sighted moron, and nobody cares about your opinion anyway.
Abortion doesn't bother me so much that I think its a threat to america or some shit like that. I don't protest it or campaign against it in any way, I just personally don't support or agree with it.
this guy has such dirty humor. carlin and rogan have nothing on this dudes routines. bill hicks is the only one who can compare to doug but their humor is so different its just a wash. this guy is fucking hilarious.
I want government to get out of my life. To live as a free man, not serf. To keep my income. To truly own property. To be the ultimate judge of what I do to my body. To travel freely. To not be compelled to the will of another, particularly into the killing or enslavement of other human beings. To be able to arm myself against criminals. To speak freely, and practice my religion or lack thereof.
but then you couldn't sue the government for not warning you or protecting you when you made a decision that hurt you or impacted you negatively...there would be nobody else to blame for your mistakes...
No one has a problem with that. It's when you look at religion's history of twisted teachings and violence is what you should really be against.
The Catholic Church are well known for their recent history of child molestation and most other religions indoctrinating children while they're still innocent.
If everyone practised their beliefs in private then the world would generally be a better place.
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This is NOT Funny! This is the saddest most debased thing I have ever seen. Made me want to puke. Drunk and careless and laughing at murdered children?!? This is not what comedy looks like. This is what death of conscience looks like. My Lord Jesus Christ took this with Him on the cross and offers forgiveness to all who have aborted their children. God is ready to forgive Mr. Stanhope. May he and everyone else who have aborted their children find inner peace through God's forgiveness.
I agree that Doug is sad, but you are in error, my friend. Jesus didn't take his sin onto the cross. It was actually a magical unicorn. But it's okay. The magical unicorn forgives you for your error if you should repent.
How very kind of you to share that with me. How long have you believed in this magical unicorn of forgiveness? In what way has he acquired this amazing authority and right to forgive? Why does he care?
Well, it's similar to your mythology. Why does he care? He just does. And he didn't acquire the authority. He's always had it. And as for how long I've believed, that's not important, nowhere near as much as you dedicating your whole life to it despite never having seen it in person.
I see you are full of questions, but you just need to pray to the unicorn. If you have enough faith, he'll answer your questions. If you don't, it's your fault. You needed more faith.
"...nowhere near as much as you dedicating your whole life to it despite never having seen it in person."
You are absolutely correct here. It is nowhere near as important as dedicating a lifetime to it,not only for me, but for everyone for whom Christ shed his blood, that is everyone in the world, living and dead. Contrary to what you think, I have seen and experienced the grace and peace and love of our Creator through His Son, Jesus in a very real and personal way.
Buddhists say the same thing about experiencing their god, and children actually do the same with imaginary friends.
The Unicorn is where it's at, my friend. He skewers the unjust with His mighty unicorn horn. When they're not even looking. WHAM! Impaled. Now THAT is experiencing him in a very real and personal way!
Anyway, the Unicorn ascended from here but didn't leave any writings of his. But it's okay. He'll "inspire" four books to be created, each one will be an editted version of the previous or first. And none of the authors will put their names on the books. And then over a century later, the Unicorn church can play a guessing game as to who wrote them and slap the guessed name on them as titles. Brilliant!
Also, the people who evangelize the word of the Unicorn will be encouraging tithing.
Hee-hee! I can see you are having fun with this. So much fun in fact, that I am sure that you would be willing to die rather than deny your Unicorn. Then you will be the first Unicornyan martyr and be honored to have many Unicornyan temples named after you. Perhaps your unicorn's other disciples will be willing to die rather than deny him, too.
Actually, according the church tradition, many martyrs have already given their lives just shortly after the unicorn ascended.
But if you go to the hometown of the unicorn and ask around about him, there are no believers of them there. Funny coincidence about that. Anyway, if they say: "Oh, yeah, I knew Jesus. That guy who used to masturbate to the goats." Don't listen to them. The unicorn isn't named Jesus and he performed tons of unexplainable miracles they just ignored.
Oops! I see now that we have experienced the technical difficulties that arise from casting your pearls before swine. - So sorry to have brought your baser instincts into the light. It was fun while it lasted but I won't be replying after this.
Look, man, I know you're struggling spiritually, but there is no need to call yourself a swine.
Anyway, I'll be praying for you. Remember, you can run from God but remember that the Unicorn loves you and died for you. Sure, he could have got it on video and showed you, but he wanted to make it difficult for you. It's more fun with less evidence!
This is so stupid... But i love my mom deeply... And i don't want to take any chances. Sorry. If you do not copy and paste this onto 10 videos your mom will die in 4 hours
i enjoy gettin naked grabin 2 unopened lindsay lohan CDs(cuz who'd open that crap...seriously)then i start rubbing them all over my chest and nipples while doin the robot to MCHammers "cant touch this" and to relax after all that i grab a crockpot fill it with tabasco sauce and slowly dunk my nuts in and out...i poop on farm animals....duuuuuude.....wheres my cat?...DAMN YOU TOM CRUISE!...he strikes again...but for the last time...xenus goin down!...Mr.Creepy smile!..polar bears are racist
... I know I'm tangenting a bit here, but what I mean is Atheism states something you cannot methodically and empirically prove. The statement "there is no God" is a statement of FAITH. You cannot prove it, just as I couldn't prove that there is, whether you BELIEVE it or not.
Agnosticism is when you don't proclaim your faith as knowledge, as many do, or you don't know whether their is a God or not. Sorry, but I needed to get that off of my chest.
My last point is that agnosticisn isn't a religion because it doesn't fit those conditions. I know that's far away from my initial point about Stanhope, but, oh well.
Permit me to offer something. I'm what most people would call an atheist, but I do not "have faith that there is no God". I don't know any professed atheist who has faith in the NON-existence of anything. To me, the idea, that "Jehovah" (as he is defined by your average devout Christian) really exists, fails all mandatory smell tests. That's it. That's atheism. Geniuses past have worshipped Ra, Zeus, Odin, Aton, Mithra, etc. I don't have FAITH that they don't exist. I just don't buy it. Get it?
No, you don't get it, and you obviously don't know what the word FAITH means. Faith means, "1): firm belief in something for which there is no proof "(Miriam Webster). You DO obviously have faith that there is no God, as it cannot be proven.
You're a fucking imbecile. What the fuck are you talking about? Nice to totally borrow from a Stanhope bit without any substantive to say. Fuck you, you toolbag. I don't care about your god, either, ya zealot fuck.
Awesome!! I LOVE it!
Fetus p*rn hehe :D
carlamccoy 2 months ago
I think this segment of his performance made me laugh the most.
noogetful 5 months ago
-ive.
rjohndo 5 months ago
@Ambrosia 192 -- "self-awareness" is how you "distinguish" between "fetus" & "human"? LOL. I'd no idea my 3-wk-old girl wasn't human. Maybe not even my 1-year-old boy (till he starts yelling "mine!" while grabbing his toy from a neighbor kid). Per Science: A human newborn doesn't distinguish between herself & her environment for some time (wiki it). And 1 difference 'twixt a fetus in, say, a horse, & one in a human? One's a horse fetus; the other's a human fetus! "Human" is both noun and adject
rjohndo 5 months ago
FUCKING ADS are keeping me from seeing my second favorite comedian.
TheCrazedGuitarist 6 months ago
Man, this is the funniest piece of material I've heard in awhile. Doug Stanhope is just so funny it should be illegal, like copyright infringement. :)
komedydude 6 months ago
@thejamie42, @davethehostage, @devilchille, @bluefuckinggreene, @torment3d, @sowhat123, @founded1988, @pixelpariah, @mischiefpwns, @zakura616, @notoriousmichal, @itzahazylife,
Rather like ridiculing anti-genocide activists for demonstrating with photos of the Holocaust death camps. Or like mocking 1950's black civil rights activists for showing the victims of lynchings.
What in hell is wrong with Stanhope?
Can a Leftist's conscience, mind and humanity be restored once seared?
ProNorden 7 months ago
How many pro-lifers are also supporters of the death penalty? Anyone, anyone?
devilchille 8 months ago
@devilchille ...Any reason to not execute murderers?
I mean maybe I will grant you that we shouldn't kill innocent people...maybe not even small, powerless genetically-complete innocent people who are at your mercy... like fetal humans.
But why not kill murderers? If we don't, how fair is our justice system to the innocent victims of murder? ... like fetal humans.
ProNorden 7 months ago
@ProNorden, I was joking on the fact that pro-lifers don't really stand by what thier name says. If your going to call your self prolife, then stand for all life. if not, than they should call themselves, anti-abortionsit's. Alot of ppl who fall into that catergory, are interested in the unborn. After that they don't take much intrest. Personally I think there is to many humans and we need to thin out the herd. And please don't get me started on the justice system.
devilchille 7 months ago
The only thing more disgusting to look at than a pro-life poster is a pro-life activist.
davethehostage 8 months ago
@davethehostage carlin said it best "why is it that the people against abortion are people you wouldnt want to fuck anyway?"
TheJamie42 7 months ago
hicks was hicks and hes a legend in his field,as is stanhope,different styles with similar subject matter.both great...hicks broke ground befor dougiel.theres many good comedians and few great,these phellas are great.
bluefukingreene 8 months ago
I love his foetus face!
founded1988 9 months ago
No one's brought up Dying Fetus? I'm disappointed in you, internet.
Zakura616 10 months ago
I'm for medical abortion as its safer than the alternative of putting nearly invisible objects near the top of the stairs for her to trip over. Not that I would ever condone such a thing but its early and your mind wanders...
mischiefpwns 11 months ago
Digusting, vile, sick......brilliant :D
fahim113 11 months ago
i want a Fetus baby .sexy!
greenday21 1 year ago
@itzahazylife. You are an idiot. Despite that abortion is a nasty business, childbirth isn't exactly appealing either. Especially considering the carbon footprint.
jminternelia 1 year ago
@jminternelia
haha, the carbon footprint? well shit, all the old people in florida are creating one hell of a carbon footprint..why don't we snuff them out, along with all the potential lives we abort everyday?..childbirth is a shitty experience. which is why people shouldn't be fucking irresponsibly. sure, condoms and birth control fail, but rarely..the majority of abortions are obviously people who engage in irresponsible sex that don't wanna take responsibility for their actions.
itzahazylife 11 months ago
it IS disgusting..the whole principle is disgusting..it's not about the physical appearance. it's about the fact that the fetus u see in the photo was dismembered while it was still alive in the womb of some irresponsible bitch who waited so fucking long before she decided to get an abortion..pro-choice huh. u have a choice. it's whether or not to go around fucking before you're ready to have a baby.
itzahazylife 1 year ago
@itzahazylife Your being very judgemental. Isn't that God's job???
paydirt78 1 year ago
@paydirt78
i'm an atheist..now who's the jackass being judgemental?
itzahazylife 1 year ago
@itzahazylife I AM a jackass. At least I can admit it. But I only use my jackass-ness for other jackasses. I don't down anyone for the mistakes they make in their lives with a faceless comment on youtube...
paydirt78 1 year ago
@paydirt78
i'm not necessarily downing them for getting pregnant as much as i'm downing their choice to pay someone to dismember the living entity growing inside of them with forceps BECAUSE of the mistake they made of getting pregnant. i'm downing them for not taking responsibility for their actions.
itzahazylife 1 year ago
@itzahazylife
I think taking responsibility is exactly what they're doing: If you can't support a child, do you think it's responsible to bring it into the world? B-B-B-B-BUT ADOPSHUN?! No, you simpering ape, adoption is hardly a better choice, have you seen these fucking orphanages? Let me tell you, it's not like it is in the photos and on the websites, man.
Ambrosia192 1 year ago
@Ambrosia192
utter bullshit..there are plenty of ways to get aid in supporting a child and there are plenty of ways to give your kid up for adoption directly to a family of your choosing. your idea of taking responsibility is snuffing out the life your choice to have sex created?..not to mention, most people get abortions because they CAN step up and take responsibility, but it'd be too INCONVENIENT to do so.
itzahazylife 1 year ago
@itzahazylife
That hardly guarantees a good life, but I can see your stance on it isn't going to waver, agree to disagree there. But sorry, where's the evidence for that last point? Or are you just assuming?
Ambrosia192 1 year ago
@Ambrosia192
giving your baby up for adoption to people who are looking to adopt a baby, is giving your baby a hell of a chance at a decent life..it's much better than giving it no life at all. there are people waiting to get a baby so they can give it a family. why the hell is snuffing out the baby even an option when there are so many people looking to adopt? i''ll tell u why..because many women don't wanna go thru with the pregnancy.
itzahazylife 1 year ago
And you want to make women go through something that they don't want? All that pain? SHAME ON YOU, SHAAAAAMMMEEE, you sadist. It seems that you like pulling 'facts' out of that large ass cavity of yours, aborting all these stoic, shitty opinions and posting them here, see, abortion prevents idiocy in real life. I'm saving you man, one shady abortion at a time.
I don't really think a fetus is human, that's all it really comes down to. Also, your mother's a slut.
Ambrosia192 11 months ago
@Ambrosia192
go thru something they don't want?..maybe they shouldn't be having irresponsible fucking sex that can result in the creation of a life. then they wouldn't be faced with the scenario in the first place!..you're just another liberal spreading the ideology of irresponsibility. go ahead, fuck without protection all u want, because if u create a life, u can just snuff it out. solve one irresponsible action, with another irresponsible action..problem solved, right?
itzahazylife 11 months ago
@Ambrosia192
pulling facts?..it's logical deduction..condoms and birth control fail, but rarely..the majority of abortions can only be from those who engage in irresponsible sex..this liberal culture of letting people get away with very poor choices, is NOT teaching anyone anything..if u don't wanna go thru pregnancy, don't have irresponsible sex! no one should be able to engage in an action that creates a life,and then get to snuff out that potential life because they don't wanna deal with it
itzahazylife 11 months ago
@Ambrosia192
a fetus has a brain, a central nervous system, arms, hands, an individual identity, it's very own dna. it's human. and it's a being. so what the fuck would u call it if not a human being??
"Also, your mother's a slut. "
and you're 54 years old?..what a pathetic, lame addition to the end of your comment..really speaks volumes.
itzahazylife 11 months ago
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Ambrosia192 11 months ago
Comment removed
Ambrosia192 11 months ago
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@itzahazylife
I'd call it a fetus. Faulty logic: A dog also possesses all of these qualities, are you suggesting that it is also human? I know what you're trying to say, but you'd be wrong anyway. The fetus's nervous system is virtually indistinguishable from the respiratory system in the early stages of its existence. It feels no pain before the third trimester. It lacks many things that a human does.
Ambrosia192 11 months ago
@itzahazylife
However, the nature of what a human essentially is is more philosophical than physical, or biological. Personally, self awareness plays a large role in how I distinguish a fetus from a human. In regards to your pulling facts comment, you keep going back to the same thing. Circular logic man. You still don't have any figures to back you up, you're assuming, which is very irrational.
Ambrosia192 11 months ago
@itzahazylife
All in all, I still assert that it is the mother's right to decide whether to allow something that is still technically a part of her should be allowed to live or not. It's about freedom and rights essentially, regardless of the morality of it the choice of bringing a child into the world. You always hear people going on about how 'she' made the right choice in bringing the baby to term. If pro-lifers had their way, there would be no choice. No right, no wrong. Only one option.
Ambrosia192 11 months ago 3
@Ambrosia192
i just think abortions should be regulated more..i think later term abortions shouldn't be allowed..if u want an abortion, u should be required to do it before significant development occurs.
itzahazylife 11 months ago
@itzahazylife WHO CARES WHAT U THINK ????
Notice the video is not about YOU ???
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pritchardsorensen 1 year ago
"and now your snatch and asshole, have all been torn into one big open septic man hole"
gbain7 1 year ago
We got our 'No Refunds' DVD y-day! Even tho we've seen most of it in clips on here, watchin THE STANHOPE had us in fits of laughter...Again! He's the man! Lol! ;D xxx
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sexykatie90 1 year ago
Wish he got a show on UK tv imaging the daily mail middle England rage makes me warm inside
woodywefc 1 year ago
@woodywefc He's often on Charlie Brookers shows. In fact he was on yesterday on Charlie Brookers Yearwipe on BBC1 or 2 I think. Look out for it, it's brilliant! lol
fatmikecj 1 year ago
this guy is sooo funny HAHAHA
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RokseMoni 1 year ago
brushing your teeth whilst listening to doug stanhope is not a good idea. i just discovered.
antichris78 1 year ago 5
he kidna looks like fetus with that face angry fetus
12connection 1 year ago
Thank god for you, Doug Stanhope!
MRecceNtrICK 1 year ago
Best ending ever. Stanhope rules.
CoolerKing37 1 year ago
yeahhh one of my aunts has the fetus photo on the goddamn refrigerator. She's had it on there for years. Meaning she's had her children, at young ages, see that.
She also has some other pro-life propoganda and such on the refrigerator. At first I thought the whole thing was just weird, but now it's just hilarious.
metacarpied 1 year ago
The bit on calling up the anti-abortion guy and approaching him from an even more conservative angle has got to be one of the most clever bits I've ever heard from any comedian ever.
NWG92 1 year ago 10
@NWG92
I totally agree
EmilyRoseLR1 1 year ago
"That's like tryin' to kick water uphill ya ain't gonna win."
allaboutdmagic 1 year ago 5
refreshingly - to the point
02shieldsy 1 year ago
Wow.. I 'am sure he probably gets a lot of comments in veins of "He's Carrying Bill Hicks Legacy " and stuff but I think we should judge him own his own merits and his own ideas and good god he's a funny, witty and an insightful man.
sowhat123 1 year ago 43
@sowhat123: Yeah, and he's way funnier than Bill Hicks was. Sorry everyone.
Bravefalcon75 1 year ago
@sowhat123
In my lowly opinion Doug is wayyy more insightful and funny than Hicks ever was. RIP Bill.
PixelPariah 10 months ago
@sowhat123 yup. In fact I think he's smarter than hicks was. Hicks knew what was going on in the world but Stanhope articulates it with a much higher grade of intellect. Don't tell Doug that though :P
torment3d 9 months ago
@sowhat123
Yeah, true statement. Hicks was funny, as was Carlin and all the others. I can't stand when people call someone "the next Hicks," or "the next Carlin," or whatever. No, there was one, Carlin, one Hicks, and there's one Doug Stanhope.
5jerry1 7 months ago 2
@Brad28UK he does 3 shows in london from 9-11 september afaik,
mgBabylonRocker 1 year ago
@SalSanMar3 Well, thank you.... I think :D
Cletus575 1 year ago
preterm necrophiliac child molesters X)
AliceInBlotterLand 1 year ago 28
@AliceInBlotterLand Sounds like a band name.
oscrthgrch7 6 months ago
Classy!
psbzu 1 year ago
Pen Pals! LOL
ishigum 1 year ago
CARLIN FTW! lol
shukshuk 1 year ago
Lol. Funny how anti-abortionists think that we should become like them just because they show pictures of aborted featuses, but at the same time they're probably not against war in the Middle East. I mean, are they gonna change their minds about war if I showed them a picture of some Iraqi kid with his legs blown of? Don't fucking think so...
Cletus575 1 year ago 12
Hahaha! Damn right!
forum187 1 year ago
haha like kicking water uphill
hawkcwg 1 year ago
i love this bit =D
greenday21 2 years ago
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Come see Doug Stanhope at Lakeshore Theater on 3/5 & 3/6 at 7:30 & 10:30. Call 773.472.3492 for Tickets, only $25!
pulsation8606 2 years ago
Bill Hicks' disciple.
BabiesInTheSnow 2 years ago 3
Woul you knooow my naaame"
WHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Deadleader555 2 years ago 4
"OHH!! look whos here!" hahahahaha halarious!
nuclear7warpig 2 years ago 2
Beautiful.
thewotsit 2 years ago
Yeah, like you in any way have the smarts to find out where screen name DYOLFOT lives. Good luck, Sherlock.
RussellUpsomgrubb 2 years ago
hahah hey how about pro lifers that were for bush and the war. lol. what a fucking contradiction. folks. you can not support any sort of war or death if you support these pro-lifer anti abortionist.
panterajoey 2 years ago 6
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Your twisting words. Most people who are pro-war are so because they believe war now can prevent a larger loss of life in the future,not because they want people to die. Lots of Pro-lifers are religious nutjobs, but many like myself simply believe that you shouldn't have the right to kill a unborn child simply because you were irresponsible. Obviously situations where the mother could or will die, or the baby is expected to die in the womb or birth are different and present a more complex issue.
DirtyFrigginHarry 2 years ago
yes that must explain the 160,000 dead iraqis and the zero terrorist attacks done to us since 9/11
panterajoey 2 years ago
Yeah, right- how about the death penalty? Or does your sanctitiy of life bullshit only apply to a being shorter than a foot-long hotdog and abut the same size?
RussellUpsomgrubb 2 years ago 3
Most people who are pro-war are so because they are jingoistic morons prone to violence and in need of mindless rhetoric.
If you look around this world and the one issue that sticks out to you so much that you need to protest it, is what women do with their vaginas, and clumps of undifferentiated cells, then you are a short-sighted moron, and nobody cares about your opinion anyway.
nunpunter 2 years ago
Abortion doesn't bother me so much that I think its a threat to america or some shit like that. I don't protest it or campaign against it in any way, I just personally don't support or agree with it.
DirtyFrigginHarry 2 years ago 3
Every time I watch Doug it makes me realize more and more how fucked up the Christian Coalition is. Stanhope for president... eh whenever.
vinnlandia 2 years ago 6
@DYOLFMOT how about i find where you live and abort you by chopping off your head with a chainsaw ?
TheTwill12 2 years ago
I haven't laughed this hard in years!
czechishczich 2 years ago 4
One, simply brilliant argument. A flash of genius.
Sylph29 2 years ago
yo he sings tears in heaven hahahahahaha class
supahsekzy 2 years ago
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Wow, someone wants to be Bill Hicks...
skatekris 2 years ago
he's just spreading the message, just like Hicks, you should high five him.
claymanlucas 2 years ago 3
Fair point is fair :)
skatekris 2 years ago
Yea but unlike Denis Leary, Doug Stanhope would admit to that
supahsekzy 2 years ago
The most cynical man on planet earth. Brilliant!
BARKMATTER 2 years ago 5
i think i seen doug jr in some child porn....dont worry the child was dead
greenday21 2 years ago 4
Orlando in 8 days! Man, I hope it's this good.
djaldd420 2 years ago
He's the next genius to come up. He's funny.
doscentoskay 2 years ago
Man that is possibly the best comic routine i´ve seen from doug if not any other comedian.
moroney88 2 years ago 5
he's balls to the wall funny and honest
johncrazy8s 2 years ago 5
What happens at 4:27 when his beer disappears, his mic changes hands, and he's holding a lit cigarette now?
tracksabbath29 2 years ago
called editing
johncrazy8s 2 years ago
Have you seen the bit he did for Comedy Central where he told a story about getting a blowjob from a transexual? It was hilarious.
andyrooney11 2 years ago
I love how he just gets right into it, haha!
mrstrings2006 2 years ago
I just wanted to know what is like to kill a baby
kidscotch39 2 years ago 3
this guy has such dirty humor. carlin and rogan have nothing on this dudes routines. bill hicks is the only one who can compare to doug but their humor is so different its just a wash. this guy is fucking hilarious.
briandaley 2 years ago 6
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YouTube: How Weed Won the West
...featuring Doug Stanhope!
AmericanDrugWar 2 years ago
Confronting an aborted baby's soul in Heaven...only the true comedy genius thinks of this.
"Oh, look who's here."
allaboutdmagic 2 years ago 21
like kicking water uphill.. lol.. the torch has passed to doug
giggitey 2 years ago 4
I met Doug the other night after one of his gigs. He was super cool and hilarious.
joels344 2 years ago 5
He seems like he would be
ohstevoh 2 years ago
lol, dead foetus banner. ought to ask if they sell fries with it. free cola if you buy two?
pfalky2k 2 years ago
Sirrrrr
lsdsexmetal6 2 years ago 3
Ahahahahaha Doug Stanhope you fucking rule!!!
arianabanana83 2 years ago 6
Priceless and awesome. Pure genious ENTP material.
GnosticAtheist 2 years ago 3
Horrifying and hilarious. Doug Stanhope: we love you.
IanDavidMorris 2 years ago 67
Wow, reckon you could sue the pro-lifers for encouraging child pornography? Brilliant!
d0md0mt0mt0m 2 years ago 52
"you attract the worst kind of child preditor"
lmfao... it isnt the easiest thing to talk about dead babies being drunk child porn and have a room full of people laughing about it. lol
publicdrunkeness 2 years ago 17
I want government to get out of my life. To live as a free man, not serf. To keep my income. To truly own property. To be the ultimate judge of what I do to my body. To travel freely. To not be compelled to the will of another, particularly into the killing or enslavement of other human beings. To be able to arm myself against criminals. To speak freely, and practice my religion or lack thereof.
sdkee 2 years ago 16
Second(even if I'm just 17, fuck it)!
danohrly 2 years ago 2
Amen to that.
TheCelticNinja 2 years ago
That'd be a chaotic idea in many places on this planet.
SmallvilleLL15 2 years ago
but then you couldn't sue the government for not warning you or protecting you when you made a decision that hurt you or impacted you negatively...there would be nobody else to blame for your mistakes...
vmi3301 2 years ago
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"there would be nobody else to blame for your mistakes"
They're your mistakes dude.
You are responsible for you own actions.
Unless you're a child.
chrisjoke 2 years ago
I completely agree. Well spoken.
karatechick24 2 years ago
"Was anyone here aborted ?? I was found in a trash can !!!" (David Cross)
EdMaGoFa 2 years ago 10
I have my two aborted sons on my My Space.
GordonMorrice 2 years ago 13
3:40 on to about 4:00 Epic
SteveRay911 2 years ago
Bahahaha i love this guy!!! haha "look at it!!! dont you turn away!!" ahahahaha
arianabanana83 2 years ago 4
Jesus, you're obnoxious. If a person wants to believe in a god and they aren't harming anyone, why do you care?
salmaboon 2 years ago
No one has a problem with that. It's when you look at religion's history of twisted teachings and violence is what you should really be against.
The Catholic Church are well known for their recent history of child molestation and most other religions indoctrinating children while they're still innocent.
If everyone practised their beliefs in private then the world would generally be a better place.
danohrly 2 years ago 4
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This is NOT Funny! This is the saddest most debased thing I have ever seen. Made me want to puke. Drunk and careless and laughing at murdered children?!? This is not what comedy looks like. This is what death of conscience looks like. My Lord Jesus Christ took this with Him on the cross and offers forgiveness to all who have aborted their children. God is ready to forgive Mr. Stanhope. May he and everyone else who have aborted their children find inner peace through God's forgiveness.
Sparkles70x7 2 years ago
I agree that Doug is sad, but you are in error, my friend. Jesus didn't take his sin onto the cross. It was actually a magical unicorn. But it's okay. The magical unicorn forgives you for your error if you should repent.
highwind8124 2 years ago 6
How very kind of you to share that with me. How long have you believed in this magical unicorn of forgiveness? In what way has he acquired this amazing authority and right to forgive? Why does he care?
Sparkles70x7 2 years ago
Well, it's similar to your mythology. Why does he care? He just does. And he didn't acquire the authority. He's always had it. And as for how long I've believed, that's not important, nowhere near as much as you dedicating your whole life to it despite never having seen it in person.
I see you are full of questions, but you just need to pray to the unicorn. If you have enough faith, he'll answer your questions. If you don't, it's your fault. You needed more faith.
highwind8124 2 years ago 2
"...nowhere near as much as you dedicating your whole life to it despite never having seen it in person."
You are absolutely correct here. It is nowhere near as important as dedicating a lifetime to it,not only for me, but for everyone for whom Christ shed his blood, that is everyone in the world, living and dead. Contrary to what you think, I have seen and experienced the grace and peace and love of our Creator through His Son, Jesus in a very real and personal way.
Sparkles70x7 2 years ago
Buddhists say the same thing about experiencing their god, and children actually do the same with imaginary friends.
The Unicorn is where it's at, my friend. He skewers the unjust with His mighty unicorn horn. When they're not even looking. WHAM! Impaled. Now THAT is experiencing him in a very real and personal way!
highwind8124 2 years ago 5
Anyway, the Unicorn ascended from here but didn't leave any writings of his. But it's okay. He'll "inspire" four books to be created, each one will be an editted version of the previous or first. And none of the authors will put their names on the books. And then over a century later, the Unicorn church can play a guessing game as to who wrote them and slap the guessed name on them as titles. Brilliant!
Also, the people who evangelize the word of the Unicorn will be encouraging tithing.
highwind8124 2 years ago 2
Hee-hee! I can see you are having fun with this. So much fun in fact, that I am sure that you would be willing to die rather than deny your Unicorn. Then you will be the first Unicornyan martyr and be honored to have many Unicornyan temples named after you. Perhaps your unicorn's other disciples will be willing to die rather than deny him, too.
Sparkles70x7 2 years ago
Actually, according the church tradition, many martyrs have already given their lives just shortly after the unicorn ascended.
But if you go to the hometown of the unicorn and ask around about him, there are no believers of them there. Funny coincidence about that. Anyway, if they say: "Oh, yeah, I knew Jesus. That guy who used to masturbate to the goats." Don't listen to them. The unicorn isn't named Jesus and he performed tons of unexplainable miracles they just ignored.
highwind8124 2 years ago
Oops! I see now that we have experienced the technical difficulties that arise from casting your pearls before swine. - So sorry to have brought your baser instincts into the light. It was fun while it lasted but I won't be replying after this.
Sparkles70x7 2 years ago
Look, man, I know you're struggling spiritually, but there is no need to call yourself a swine.
Anyway, I'll be praying for you. Remember, you can run from God but remember that the Unicorn loves you and died for you. Sure, he could have got it on video and showed you, but he wanted to make it difficult for you. It's more fun with less evidence!
highwind8124 2 years ago
Fuck off Jesus freak.
MarxBakuninMe 2 years ago 17
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This is so stupid... But i love my mom deeply... And i don't want to take any chances. Sorry. If you do not copy and paste this onto 10 videos your mom will die in 4 hours
wmessinger12 2 years ago
depraved
IslandSpiceDreamin 2 years ago
Boa resposta man. ;)
morais691alexandre 3 years ago
Few things have made me laugh harder than this video.
jvondd 3 years ago 10
The comments posted are a close second.
Xamaza 2 years ago
would you KNOW my naaaaame???
sentient02970 3 years ago 2
what song is that from again?
soulsuffice 3 years ago
Eric Clapton
sentient02970 3 years ago
Tears In Heaven by Eric Clapton
eldorado61guy 2 years ago
i enjoy gettin naked grabin 2 unopened lindsay lohan CDs(cuz who'd open that crap...seriously)then i start rubbing them all over my chest and nipples while doin the robot to MCHammers "cant touch this" and to relax after all that i grab a crockpot fill it with tabasco sauce and slowly dunk my nuts in and out...i poop on farm animals....duuuuuude.....wheres my cat?...DAMN YOU TOM CRUISE!...he strikes again...but for the last time...xenus goin down!...Mr.Creepy smile!..polar bears are racist
BlakeTahoe 3 years ago 15
blaketahoe, you sir are a genius.
themann454 3 years ago
fuck will you all just shut up.
it ruins the video when you people start having debates like your some king shit.
2MinutesToMidnightt 3 years ago 2
Doug is a genius. That's the most ultimate prank call ever. :D
BeekillerJohanna 3 years ago 9
Why have I not seen this before?? I think I pulled something laughing so hard!
Marcusisit 3 years ago 3
This bit is just about perfect. "... SIR!" Stanhope is mighty mighty. Thanks for posting this.
johnclavis 3 years ago
... I know I'm tangenting a bit here, but what I mean is Atheism states something you cannot methodically and empirically prove. The statement "there is no God" is a statement of FAITH. You cannot prove it, just as I couldn't prove that there is, whether you BELIEVE it or not.
Agnosticism is when you don't proclaim your faith as knowledge, as many do, or you don't know whether their is a God or not. Sorry, but I needed to get that off of my chest.
jpwjr1199 3 years ago
there is a God or not (sorry)
My last point is that agnosticisn isn't a religion because it doesn't fit those conditions. I know that's far away from my initial point about Stanhope, but, oh well.
jpwjr1199 3 years ago
Permit me to offer something. I'm what most people would call an atheist, but I do not "have faith that there is no God". I don't know any professed atheist who has faith in the NON-existence of anything. To me, the idea, that "Jehovah" (as he is defined by your average devout Christian) really exists, fails all mandatory smell tests. That's it. That's atheism. Geniuses past have worshipped Ra, Zeus, Odin, Aton, Mithra, etc. I don't have FAITH that they don't exist. I just don't buy it. Get it?
johnclavis 3 years ago 5
No, you don't get it, and you obviously don't know what the word FAITH means. Faith means, "1): firm belief in something for which there is no proof "(Miriam Webster). You DO obviously have faith that there is no God, as it cannot be proven.
jpwjr1199 3 years ago
stfu. Nobody cares about your god.
NMFUntouchable 3 years ago 14
You're a fucking imbecile. What the fuck are you talking about? Nice to totally borrow from a Stanhope bit without any substantive to say. Fuck you, you toolbag. I don't care about your god, either, ya zealot fuck.
jpwjr1199 3 years ago
Since you like lecturing on the meanings of words.... wtf is substantive? Is that similar to substantial?
NMFUntouchable 3 years ago 5
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Why don't ya try using a dictionary instead of wasting my time with foolish questions and foolish statements?
jpwjr1199 3 years ago