Bum Reviews- Twilight- New Moon

[SergeantSarcasm1]

Bleah! I want to suck your spoilers! Lol

[TLSoulDude]

NO! I want the vampire!

WHY?!

Because he STARED at me...

...You're an idiot.

Appropriate response.

[MushroomPwnage]

@phantomfangirl1 how can he kill me with no arms or legs?

[monsterboy31]

"Please don't do these crazy things, or I will stare at you some more"

(Quick close up of Bum staring at us)

LOL

[linuslillen01]

0:42 sounded so sad when he said "she cut my balls off".

[Firebrdsuite]

@linuslillen01 funny actually

[maiden0206]

I want to suck your spoilers!

[HCsMyName]

I mean it every boy in this movie is missing his shirt!!!!

hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

[zillafire101]

Edward is the new Weegee.

[TheNightshade43]

This review was funny. Nothing really worth adding except; don't wish Meyer's rape/death....it's going too far with the hate. Hate the story and LAUGH at the author who somehow didn't get proof readers, competent editors or get her manuscript rejected. Rowling got rejected numerous times, yet Meyer gets a green light? What the heck was the literacy system smoking when that happened?

[Midwinterain]

'So she does all sorts of crazy things!

Jumps off a cliff!

Crashes a motorcycle!

Signs up for another twilight movie!'

LOL

[1236sason]

2:02

[yoyoentertainment00]

She cut my balls off

Lol

[MrDerKnofi]

@yoyoentertainment00 I broke out in laughter after this. :D

[YaoiCutieX3]

i wish to put on a strap on, and rape stephanie Meyers' eye sockets..then piss in them and make her swallow her families blood :D

[l0r3st0]

i agree 100% The girl is an idiot: no ambition, no love for herself. Immortality isn't everything. Great review!

[08skydancer]

To quote Chester: "Twilight blows monkeys!"

[smallredrocks]

Oh my God. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS.

Doug had to ACTUALLY GO AND WATCH NEW MOON. HE MAY HAVE EVEN PAID MONEY FOR IT. We need a group hug, people.

[menslady125]

@smallredrocks:

*crying* *hugs you*

[SteelandSouls15]

I"VE GOT IT! Twilight is the result if fanfiction ever got published!.....these results suck

[okrenee123]

i bet their blood is minty.

<3

[trixiehodgson95]

HOORAY!!!!

[qan2211]

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.

[Coffelover28]

There really was NO REASON Bella chose Edward. Well, she's an idiot. And these books are 10 times more idiotic, so why should I even care? NVM ABOUT WHAT I SAID THAT'S RESON ENOUGH.

[SamhainTheDark]

TONIGHT WE DINE ... IN THE CAFETERIA HALL!

[Babybutblue]

1:44 is so hilarious

[08skydancer]

Seriously, what is wrong with Bella?

[Bhalspawn]

@08skydancer She's written by a woman with as much common sense as Tara Gilepsie

[ember1k]

@08skydancer Alot of things..

[BubbleT1ger]

I'd like to go to movies with Bum. :)

[MyLadyGreensleeves77]

It's mostly the werewolf who doesn't wear a shirt. It's supposed to be raining all the time. You should not only be wearing a shirt, you should be wearing a shirt, sweater and jacket.

[CrcocodileSharkNinja]

@MyLadyGreensleeves77 Amen

[FlippedChik628]

"So it turns out the girl can see the vampire whenever she gets an adrenaline rush, so this encourages her to do all sorts of crazy things! Jump off a cliff, crash a motorcycle, sign on to do another Twilight movie..." :D LOL!

[SkyStained]

I bet their blood is minty XD

[Gxyz222]

It's not fair, this bloody movie is popular for no other reason other than the fact that teenagers(pretentious ones) and pedoforks like it! I rather watch Harry Potter than Twilight!

[TheAdam1995]

@Gxyz222 Indeed Harry Potter kicks ass but get Legend of the Guardians on DVD or Blu-Ray, it's worth the money.

[Gxyz222]

@TheAdam1995 Intriguing this Legend of Guardians sounds. Thanks, I'll keep that in mind!

[1805movie]

"I bet their blood is minty." LOL

[avatarkairi]

I just noticed that when he says "She was only five," he holds up four fingers.

[princesselushia]

I love when you say why do you want the vampire??

"Because he stares at me!!! "

Hilarious!! :D

[princesselushia]

LOL!!!!

[linuslillen01]

explains why New moon wasn't as bad as i excepted... it wasn't AS bad as the first.

[jhardyrules]

2:53 - 3:00

 Dakota Fanning: The only talented actor in Twilight.

[HParker001]

@jhardyrules Well there's also Graham Greene, the older native American guy from Dances with Wolves and the Red Green Show. Actually there's quite a few good actors... they just have this material to work with.

[danerogil]

@jhardyrules She literally doesn't do anything...

[qan2211]

HIGH: I try saying that to a woman once!

CALM: She cut my balls off.

LOL

[crepsleygirl13]

Bella: why should i choose u!?

Jacob: I'm a kind gentle perseon who will never let u down and protect u forever!

Bella: thts a good point. How bout u?

Edward: *stares at bella*

Bella: he wins...

Jacob: seriously! What is wrong with you?!

Bella: I'm a good looking teenage girl. I love it when boys freak me like crap.

omg i laughed my lungs out XDD

[qan2211]

@crepsleygirl13 DUDE YOU CAN HAVE HER!

[qan2211]

""If Edward wasn't a fictional character and you met him in reality he is like one of those guys who would probably be an axe murderer or something."

Robert Pattinson said this himself. LOL

[qan2211]

YOUTUBE COMMENTER: THUMBBB!!!!! YA GOT THUMBBBBB!!!!!!???!??!

[054martinm]

I WANT TO BE A VAMPIRE!

o_O

WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT?

[sephiroth8261]

i would like to see edward scissorhands to shove his hands up bellas jacobs and edwards buttholes... while the scissors open completely

[adamskiboy528491]

2:00 - 2:03

LMAO!!!!!

[JoseCarioca101]

Alice: you have to help us Edward is going to kill himself and we have no way to contact him.

Bella: did u try his cellphone?

Alice: he destroyed it

Bella: But r u guys psyic

Alice:yes

* bella stares at Alice*

Bella: y don't u use that

Alice: because we would be exspecting that

LOL

[MissySprite777]

i like the sparta part it was funny

[AnnaRaineStiglitz]

Sparta High School !!!!!

[shazala420]

I want in on some of that CHANGE!!!

[Rx2D]

*DIES* No, seriously, I'm dying over here. I laughed so hard my poptart went down the wrong pipe. *Hackslaughshacks*

[ZonaViolet137]

"Tonight we dine... In the cafeteria hall!"

I LOVED THAT

[Dalvanara]

this was WAAAAAYYYYYY better then the real movie

[GoodFebruarian]

@Dalvanara AYE~

[psychokinrazalon]

I just thought of something. Maybe the reason Bella lusts all over Edward is because he's hypnotizing her when he stares. Dracula's done it, maybe Twilight vampires can to. The books/movies still suck, of course.

[hajlender12]

@psychokinrazalon NOOOOO DONT COMPARE DRACULA TOO TWILIGHT!!!

[psychokinrazalon]

@hajlender12 Think about it, the more similarities to Dracula the Twilight vampires have, the more badass they'll be.

[Firebrdsuite]

@psychokinrazalon ??

[psychokinrazalon]

@Firebrdsuite What?

[Firebrdsuite]

@psychokinrazalon Sucks or something?

[psychokinrazalon]

@Firebrdsuite The books/movies are still dumb, if that's what you were referring to.

[Firebrdsuite]

@psychokinrazalon uummmm Noei/

[psychokinrazalon]

@Firebrdsuite Dude, speak fluent English and in complete sentences.

[Firebrdsuite]

@psychokinrazalon i don't know, let me see the series more and i;ll get back to you!

[MrMatto91]

Dakota Fanning no. can't believe it. America's cutest child star acting in the most crappy series ever.

[dragonstormx]

@MrMatto91

Hey, one of Jim Cummings first roles was in Garbage Pail Kids, and the Critic says that is the worst film he's ever seen, even after seeing this.

[ChrisMolyneaux93]

I TRIED SAYING THAT TO A GIRL ONCE!!!!

She cut my balls off.

[GUEDES651]

twilight sucks

[TF2Fan101]

Hello, I'm a plot thread that goes nowhere.

[SergeantSatire]

"She cant join us she's not pretentious enough"

"yes she is"

"coooooooool"

[dragonstormx]

Here's a hilarious image, an Ewok with a chainsword from Warhammer 40000 chopping Edward to pieces.

So, Twilight's vampires suck, its werewolves suck, and its humans suck.

[DawnFallingAngel]

Noo Edward's life duty was to be a disco ball D:

[psychokinrazalon]

The 9 Twilight fangirls who disliked this will be sucked dry by Dracula.

[dragonstormx]

@psychokinrazalon

No, they were killed by chaingun wielding chimpanzee.

[psychokinrazalon]

@dragonstormx And then Stephanie Meyer will be skinned alive, rolled in salt, blade raped, whipped by Simon Belmont, shot by Van Helsing, and THEN sucked dry by Dracula.

[Twilight14Vampire]

If i could i would give him change... *keeps throwing money at computer screen*

[hattu99]

Edward : I will leave you and never see you again and sleep with a bunch of different women. Because I love so much!!!

At that night, Bella swan commits suicide!!!

This should be Twilight;s ending!

[dragonstormx]

@hattu99

Shouldn't it also have Edward's head getting blown off by a tank?

[a45027]

@dragonstormx Or we can stick an a-bomb in his stomach then send him to space so the radiation of emo vampirism cannot be spread around the world.

[dragonstormx]

@a45027

I'd rather get to see the look on his pretentious face before I remove it.

[dragonstormx]

@a45027

Besides, it's too late to get rid of his corrupting influence, just look at the poster to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, which now that I think about it, makes me rip out his ribs and shove them down his throat.

[a45027]

@dragonstormx Sry, but I don't get what u mean about the Harry Potter thing. Could u explaion it further?

[dragonstormx]

@a45027

I mean that the poster to the first half of the Deathly Hollows movie looks more like a poster for a twilight film, look at the cracked.com article "15 Grossly Misleading Movie Posters" and you'll get what I mean. As was a fan of Harry Potter since before the movies came out, see I get annoyed at seeing Twilight polluting its fanbase.

[a45027]

@dragonstormx I personally don't find anything comparable to them, but I agree with you on that "fanbase." I mean, what's so special about Twilight? It's a vampire and a girl, and even worse, dull ones. Harry Potter is a dimension of different places in one world, with characters that matured as years passed on. They were students at first, but now they are fighters. Harry Potter will never be forgotten. Just give Twilight a few years later and people will be like "Twi="what?

[dragonstormx]

@a45027

From what I can tell, Twilight just has the way of appealing to emotionally disturbed teenage girls, by causing them to be emotionally disturbed by enjoying it. Some video that I don't remember the name of summed up how it appeals to the girls, while pointing out the things that any sensible girl should hate.

[KMSigler]

"III tried saying that to a woman once!!!"

"She cut my balls off..."

LOL just the way he says it and how random it is makes it priceless.

[LoveNoteProjects]

who needs to watch movies wen you got bum here?

[crashcloud]

Hey if I had a bod like jacob I never wear a shirt either lol

[MewMewPower44]

"The case of the missing shirts! I'm serious, no boy in this movie has his shirt on! What is this? Sparta High School? All they have to do is talk through their teeth and yell every word:

TONIGHT WE DINE...IN THE CAFETERIA HALL!"

[MewMewPower44]

"So the girl finds out she can see the vampire boy whenever she gets an adrenaline rush. And this causes her to do all sorts of crazy things: Jump off a cliff, crash a motorcycle, sign on to do another Twilight movie" XD

[kakashireal101]

Bella: "Well why should I choose you?"

Jacob: "I'm a kind, gentle person who would never let you down and protect you forever."

Bella: "That's a good point. How about you?"

Edward: *Stares*

Bella: "He wins."

-_- seriously, what is wrong with this girl?

[dragonstormx]

@kakashireal101

Better question would be what isn't wrong?

[kakashireal101]

@dragonstormx............a valid point indeed.

[teaislove23]

"She can't join us. She's not pretentious enough."

"Yeah she is."

"Coool."

LOL

[teaislove23]

"robert: i'm going to expose myself to the world by making myself sparkle like a girl toy.

isn't that what he is already?"

LOL

[DBZFMAandPokemonfan]

I think their blood is minty XD

[TF2Fan101]

Dude, u can have her!!

[dragonstormx]

Wow, Twilight is even stupider than that the Cracked.com article makes it out to be.

[InuDemon]

8 people had the curse of the MISSING SHIRT! :O

[menslady125]

I want to bang Stephanie Meyers' head against a wall and yell "TWI-LIGHT ISN'T LITERATURE!"

[Anihero69]

@menslady125 i read the first part of your comment "i want to bang Stephanie Meyers" & i was like wtf, but then i read the read & was like oh ok

[KayahMoon]

@menslady125 Demyx Time reference?? :D

[menslady125]

@KayahMoon:

That's right! ^_^

[GalacticKnight]

@menslady125 Now, now. Actual physical harm is no way to resolve a situation.

Writing a better and more influential work is. Start cracking.

[mafeuk]

@menslady125 Gosh, even the Bum review's theme song has more literature than the whole friggin book saga!

[menslady125]

@mafeuk:

You couldn't be more right!

[DeidaraIsHot154]

@menslady125 -highfives Demyx time fan- :D

[menslady125]

@DeidaraIsHot154:

*hugs you* Thanks!

[DeidaraIsHot154]

@crafting987 Have fun then xD

[crafting987]

@DeidaraIsHot154 uhmmm thanks xD

[TheAnimegirl309]

"Hello im a plot that goes nowhere bye" LOL

[tokyopanda13]

lol, his Edward impersonation is perfect, lol

[iDiiNOALLY]

NO, I Want the vampire who just stared at me all day ! I think he loves me :3

[XellDincht]

I just cant wait for the Breaking Dawn Bum Review. :D

[edgeygavin]

my mum just came in to tell me to watch my youtube videos quietly i was laughing so hard...

[wtfomgstudios]

TONIGHT, WE DINE.......IN THE CAFETERIA HALL!

[TheEmolily123]

cuz he stares at me

[vogaqq]

To be pretentiously continued...

[Shadownyo216]

I TRIED SAYING THAT TOO A WOMAN ONCE.

She cut my balls off.

[KeybladeHaven]

"Hello I am a plot thread that goes nowhere bye."

:D

[Ch3k0v]

that movie is a bunch of pig shit.

[DeidaraIsHot154]

"I bet their blood is minty "xD"

[GuillerMak37]

doug is THE GREATEST REVIEWER I EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!! :D

[SlayerNinaFansub]

0.29 PERFECT

[VTPPGLVR]

Looks like the bum is Team Jacob.

[MadForColors]

@VTPPGLVR Wait 'till breaking dawn comes out.

[jackedsamurai772]

@MadForColors oh dear god that one part *shutters*

[thekittydomination]

"please dont do these crazy things...

or i will stare at you some more"

o_O

[joshscorcher]

Jacob: "Please let me go out with you! I'm compassionate, caring, strong, dependable, and I'm actually a three-dimensional character."

Bella: "No! I want the vampire!"

Jacob: "Why?"

Bella: "Because he stared at me!"

Jacob: O_o

Bella: ;(

Jacob: -_- "You're an idiot."

[regeneratorkingalt]

@joshscorcher jacob:don't worry protectious girl,i'll protect you bella:no i want the vampire who told me to piss off and never see me again,i think he likes me scout:dumbass!!! heavy:stoopid stoopid stoopid spy:you suck engineer:dumby medic:dumcoft sniper:who ain't gonna save ya pyro:mfmfmfmfm(faggot) soldier:i hate you demoman:thankfully i already don't remember this.

[badfart43]

@joshscorcher a good summery for the caracters

[bigmacsama]

@joshscorcher Wow, that girl is a retarded jack-ass. If it was me, I'd pick the Werewolf because of his great personality and stuff.

[JoseCarioca101]

@joshscorcher holy crap i love that part thanks

[Hex5Ai73]

What is THIS?! Sparta Highscool!!?!?

[ShinChan56798]

twilight just got raped in the ass

[TheFlyinCow]

She cant join us she's not pretentious enough

Yeah she is !

Coooooooool

[Risibly]

"I bet their blood is minty."

That made my day.

[GrowingObsession]

LMAO 

[KMSigler]

"Tonight, We Dine... in the Cafeteria Hall!!!!!!"

lol

[jordypopz]

"I bet their blood is minty"

[deathchick9]

four people had there ball cut off so they clicked the thumbs down button.

[HeroicRebellion]

As much as it pains me to say this, Jacob is doing to werewolves the exact OPPOSITE of what Edward is doing to vampires.

[hackensac]

are you kidding? New Moon was far worse than the first film

[Dasiyssis]

"Hello I'm a plot that goes no where. Bye"

[ColdClamChowder]

"Please don't do these crazy things.

Or I will stare at you some more."

O_O

[FlaviaR]

"Oh, the vampires & the werewolves should be friends!

Oh, the vampires & the werewolves should be friends!

One of them never wears a shirt,

The other one sleeps in the dirt,

Oh, the vampires & the werewolves should be friends!"

(With abject apologies to Rogers & Hammerstein....)

[SweetLittleKitty13]

LOL XD

[ghostluver711]

in the beginning he always says "this is the best movie iv ever seen in my life"

[XellDincht]

"I could look as tormented as that vampire guy! Just force me to read the books! " LOL

[gmartdude]

Werewolves are wolf/MAN hybrids. not gayass oversized chiuahuas even the best monsters in this movie are lame. if i want epic mystery ill stick to haruhi and higurashii

[Kuroineko16]

I wanted the werewolf to rip the vampire's head off too :3 xD

[MeltedCheeseOnToast]

the november goth loves twilight

[LoveofAphrodite]

hahahahaa