Billy Connolly talks about suicide bombers = funny

[Tracey4Music]

im a slut man!

[Quatorzel4]

"Flying mince"- ROFLMAO!!

[Ooooopsitsme]

Fucking stupid hater on here and fucking ignorant =))

[Xdaywalker666X]

Never trust people who've only got one fucking book. Now that's an idea to keep in mind.

[mohamadaqil]

It doesn't say anything in the Quran about a specific number of virgins. They're all made up figures.

[JFD1220]

this guy was in the last samurai with tom cruise hahaha, never gonna be able to watch that movie seriously every again haha

[sarabower1]

I know a scottish man whoose had at least 53 virgins

[cuntstolemyusernames]

'Black with a wee fuckin' windah' :L

[ElDuorPaso]

Islam - LOL!

[thetreesify]

this is the first joke of billys i watched a while back and i remember bursting out with laughter instantly XD billy is absolutely brilliant, certainly one of Scotlands best exports :)

[OSSLUFF1]

Brilliantly un-pcorrect.... especially the bit where he was talking about only having one book, followed by mental noises.

[jamestobach]

i want the topcomment to keep 53 likes

[Sc0ttPrian]

i laugh EVERY TIME throughout the whole thing.

[Oobervice]

BANG!  There goes another one.

[Oobervice]

Black with a wee fuckin' window lol

[Oobervice]

53 Duran Duran fans lol

[TheThingseyelike]

Brilliant ! at least he is not scared of the "politically correct crowd"

[WeAndWeR1]

Seen plenty of Billy, this is somewhat funny, but I'm hardly cracked up

[noodles1916]

"WHAT YE GONNA FUKIN DU"

[sephron17]

close your eyes. He sounds exactly like Craig Ferguson

[laffizzle]

dude thats fat bastard

[firesteel1966]

Can anyone tell me what the title is of this particular D.V.D. Thank you.

[shotgunwillie68]

@firesteel1966 The description says: Taken from his "Is it something I said" DVD

[equallyeasilyfuqyou]

what type of shirt is he wearing. o.O

[TheGalwayFarmer]

@equallyeasilyfuqyou one that is longer at the back for some reason

[Spid0rMuffinz]

This is why im proud to be scottish :D

[hadoukenyourface]

wha ye gonna fuckin doooooooo?

[paulhunter123]

and ya nooooooooooooooooooo and ya noooooooooooo

[lihaijames]

53 duran duran fans....awesome billy

[MrGaryrtaylor]

brilliant!!

[type42sheff]

Watched old video the other day, he hilarious. The big slipper, the hair trimmer and zip up dog bag !! Class.

[Jarv1s]

Listening to Billy is a pure breath of fresh. He just doesn't care who he offends. Totally un-P.C.. Brilliant.

[jr7d]

Proud to be Scottish!

[delbertmol]

When I heard the flying mince comment and then the bottle of guiness gag I just about collapsed. He is so so funny. The world needs more people like him

[bluesboy25000]

This is the first time I have ever seen Billy Connoly and wow is he funny

[CpFamo]

Fucking Hell, Britain Has the Best Music, Movies, Bands and now... Comedians? Damn, I love my Country!

[DTaylor0988]

black with a wee fuckin window hahaha bottles of Guinness. love the BIG BC mon scotland

[jr7d]

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[shwwnn]

it's not funny at all.

[Georgeous129]

@shwwnn its funny to those who have a sense of humour...i.e loads of people who have watched this video

[shwwnn]

@Georgeous129 no, it's just rubbish.

[schwarzesschaf1234]

126 self bombin guys watched this... but why take a commend about this fact if they even didn't exist anymore...

[4FingeredJay]

2 fire breathing whores. class

[Crisavec4]

Every time there's a bang the world's a wanker short! Fabulous!

[Hoopertube1]

Fucking Muslim cunts

[Taraalcar]

I agree with Billy here. The terrorists and suicide bombers have never taken a look around to realize just how stupid and immature they're really being.

[imperator332]

Connolly for President of the Universe.

Fire-breathing whores for everyone!

[xjrman1]

@imperator332 Fire breathing whores are all very well, but what happens if they belch in the middle of a blow job?

[Morpheus396]

@xjrman1 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!!

[stiglaa]

Bottles of Guinness, so funny!. I feel for these unliberated woman that live a life of subservience to men, its a disgrace. Sharia Law is a disgrace and so are the men that enforce it. Makes me think they are scared of women as a species.

[MrBigal1690]

Do you think the big yin thought this would be taken so fuckin serious ?????

[RunfromtheHeathen]

@CameronIsADickhead Most? Ive never heard of a sane person blowing themselves up.

[jamesgd7]

OMFG HILARIOUS  LOL

[ChicagoProdigy]

This guy's a fucking legend. Come back to Chi-Town soon Billy.

[dbuschhorn]

unfortunately, the virgins are all guys. And on Wednesday, it's your turn in the barrel.

[nimi68]

that was brillant

[MrAlistairSM]

what dvd is this lol ave watched this abut 10 times and a still cry with laughter hahahahahahah x x x x x love it x x x

[ORJJONES]

ROck and roll rebel, OZZY, yer, shot in the dark.

[ORJJONES]

Billy got to do route 666

[PhouFoo]

he sounds like ozzy... lol

[nicknyse]

"Give me two fire-breathing whores ANY day of the week!" ahahahahah!!!

[OSSLUFF1]

@nicknyse I'd settle for the virgins lol

[FMTCH]

Brilliantly funny nearly as good as his 9/11 or his Ken Bigley jokes

[fruitnvege]

HEY GUYS!! I'm a New Zealand comedian and my dream is to have a COMEDY TV PROGRAM to make people laugh their asses off and to help other up-and-coming comedians into the spotlight. i HAVE made a lot of videos that I REALLY WANT YOU TO CHECK OUT, so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE check them out and subscribe!! Thank you xo

[1982stik]

Absolute genius, ha ha

[Charliecomet82]

Ten years ago today, the world was short 19 wankers--I hope they got the Duran Duran fan virgins!

[MinorHeadstorm]

haha "right lads, i'm only gona show you this once"

[9mmepidemic]

This is honestly 3x funnier due to his accent

[ADEMruinedmylife909]

@9mmepidemic ANYTHING that is said in a Glaswegian accent is automatically 20x funnier than when it is said in any other accent.

Or, at least, that's how I feel... ;)

[TheGalwayFarmer]

@9mmepidemic yup!

[elwood180]

Why do they always do that, rise at daybreak?

[theleopard9]

Ummm. No offence guys but what the fuck's this all got to do with Billy Connolly? It's just a joke, sheesh, don't take it so seriously!

[212013114]

A) This is how I want to be when I'm an old man.

B) I agree with him 150%. Never trust anyone who only have one book. Got fifty.

C) If you're pissed, you need a good shagg.

[AntonDoesMusic]

Title should be "Billy Connolly talks = funny"

[moon666watcher]

It's funny, I say I don't like Billy Connolly yet every time I see him I laugh, lol!

And as for religious people getting offended, i'm a devout Pagan and i'm not offended by this! And as for people who scapegoat religion, STFU, take the piss out of us all you want but scapegoating is about as intelligent as religious extremism.

Oh yeah, and have fun, cos there's no point being here if you're not going to have fun!!!

[jamesaaclett]

"how are you gonna shag them when you are now flying mince?????" HAHAHA!!

[Cormando]

lift the kilt !!!

[TheRexxx23]

I'm a SLUT man! hahahaha....!!! Billyyyy!!!

[MuppetCC97]

There aw black wi' a fuckin window, class

[dressupjesus]

Wouldn't require a jumbo jet of whores. A small private jet of the Kardashians (or however the fuck you spell their names) and the Hilton sisters and you've got the Middle East hump fest covered.

[totes32]

that cunt john reid came up with 53.

[vulnerabledonkey]

"Every time there's a bang the world's a wanker short."

Whether he's talking about religious extremists, Northern Irish nationalists or unionists or any other terrorist organisation, truer words have never been spoken. Anyone who places such a silly thing as religion or patriotism above his/her life and the bodily intergrity of his/her peers is a filthy piece of shit. Our species would be much better off without these ideologues.

[thehitchrules]

@vulnerabledonkey I completely agree. To believe in religion whatever it may be is a mild form of psychosis. Respect to the Big Yin .

[teebee1984]

@vulnerabledonkey Well said

[BlackBergtatt]

Like bottles of Guinness... genius. The problem isn't just Islam, it's religion.

[evhsrvfe]

Never trust a person who only have one book... lmao I love this guy

[arminxxx]

Watching this guy here make poor jokes like this makes me sad about him.

I mean look at him he really looks "poor" :))

Oh dear... little human.

[petbedding01]

@arminxxx yeah that's right you feel sorry for him its not like he's an extremely successful acting, comedian, ex-parachute regiment soldier..

Now why don't you go pick on a human that is more your calibre, Mr almighty youtube warrior..?

[arminxxx]

@petbedding01

well said! all this and still !? he need to be ashamed like this :)) thx for adding. Im not Almighty neither youtuber neither warrior. :)) just demokratic nicely said what i think !

[scotland1989able]

if anyone is offended by this who gives a fuck im offended that u agree with suicide bombings . its called freedom of speech if u dont like it dont watch it and fuk off

[legolasisthebest]

Just saying, just because someone is religious does not mean they are a zealot. I am a Jew, but I think this guy is freaking great, one of the best comedians.

[carlosvandangos2]

im very very offended by this!!! duran duran were ok i thought

[HaggisPowah]

@carlosvandangos2 haha good one :)

[pagan7419]

@carlosvandangos2

are you serious, your offended becaurse he mentioned duran duran, get real

[Retromantra]

If you are offended by this, TOUGH !!!

[luis1coelho]

This man is an idiot, it's sad when people think that they are dead funny just by swearing tht much, but even more sados are those who laugh at his swearing...idiots, brainless monkeys....people's inteligences sank deep low when t hey laugh t hat much at obcinities, at low level ways of thinking....deep idiot sados...

[JM940]

@luis1coelho Its jokes. Do you take everything seriously?

[darkhawk1979]

@luis1coelho An idiot who is richer than you and probably spells better. And knowing boilermakers (he worked with some before he became a comedian) he doesn't swear much at all! Next time just hit the dislike button instead of telling people what they are allowed to enjoy, or even better just don't watch it!

[JalandharShere]

@luis1coelho. when talking of intelligence try spelling obscenities correctly!

[railman01]

@luis1coelho You have issues, lots of issues. That's what being a religious zealot does to you. I'll bet you watched this and then was so ashamed of yourself you had to go and say 1000 hail mary's whilst flaying yourself with a cat o' nine tails. The Big Yin is spot on when he says "what you need is a fucking good shag" If you disagree dont watch.

[UltraRebels]

110 Duran Duran fans didn't like this video.

[TheWisdom13]

Never trust people who've only got one fucking book.

[scorpioxf]

Lift the kilt and a hairy sack of balls..what are you gonna DO? Crying...

[CharleyVCU1988]

wee fuckin window

[TheVindicator85]

I have to say that I’ve always hated Billy Connolly!

He was always about as funny as a party political broadcast by the Tories!

He had a (mercifully) small part in the film, The Last Samurai, Starring Tom Cruise!

Thankfully, quite early on in the film Connolly’s character is brutally killed by being impaled on a big sword!! LOL 

I really enjoyed that bit!

I thought to myself as I watched it....

IF ONLY THAT WAS FOR REAL!!! LOL!!!!

[supersquash7]

@TheVindicator85 Gtfo if your just going to troll>.>

[thehitchrules]

@TheVindicator85 Why are you on here then ? !!

[madphilgreenballs]

@TheVindicator85 Your a dick. You know nothing about the Big Yin and what he's done since his early years - through The Humblebums (with Gerry), his own stand-up, TV drama parts, TV comdey parts, MULTIPLE films (not just with that prat Cruise). You're just one of the many wads who think it's funny to diss people coz you know what the response will be. Tell me, is that how you get off? Wank to the replies? You're a fuckwit.

[Destabilise996]

@TheVindicator85 why watch this then retard

[FrankNFurter1000]

@TheVindicator85 To me you appear to be a frightfully beige person.

[clazza01]

@TheVindicator85 awww tell allah not us

[Brendon00000]

like a thin twin to phat bastard lol

[MCCHRISSYG]

Funny As Fuck Big Yin

[Beavis26NZ]

108 people need a good shag

[jamesaaclett]

drop a pile of whores on them hahahahhahahaha Billy.... you are a fucking genious!

[jackthehatuk]

Definitely the funniest man this side of Islam. Who the fuck wants to spend their life hating other religions and plotting to kill as many of them as possible? Get a life and get some humour in it. Its fun. =)

[Eldomina22]

It's amazing how God/Allah or any other God can put together an entire universe full of planets, stars and life but none of them can take a fucking joke in a YouTube comments section.

[wwenils1]

he sounds like fat bastard from austin powers

[Alchohollica]

@wwenils1 You mean Fat Bastard sounds like the Big yin.

[EightAlek]

"stop dropping bombs on them"

At least he said something sensible.

[absmukherjee]

'AM A SLUTTT MAAAN

[LemonZeppelin]

Also, it doesn't say male or female virgins. They could die and have to spend eternity with 50 or so 13 or 14 year old boys. That would be funny.

[ConspiracyBlueBoy]

@LemonZeppelin that would be Catholic priest suicide bomber heaven :D

[thehitchrules]

ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT. Billy is the best comic I have ever seen or heard.

[InsaneScotsman96]

thats her in the black with a fuckin winda :L 1

[californiamomful]

@InsaneScotsman96 i started cracking up when iherd it

[lentspark]

Saw him tonight for the first time live. I'm 15 and I was fuckin howling the whole time I was almost in tears. If you don't find this funny you need a sense of humor.

[Xen9889]

brilliant, and hes absolutly right, what a bunch of wankers and cowards they are

[aeo45bneop34qer]

53 virgins? that was the number decided by Allah, sitting on the Committee. It was reduced from 72, due to poor economic climate in Allah's Paradise.

[AlexRichardVocat]

The 72 version is a Star Trek covention.

[unsub777]

@oneinamillion232 @Festa1983 @shannonlovesbuble I wonder how obvious one has to be with sarcasm in order for it to translate accurately on the internet... I have, clearly, not been obvious enough.

[thehitchrules]

@unsub777 Judging by the fact you've responded to 3 people what do you think ? !! Sarcasm doesn't translate well on comments pages such as these.

[66peacelove]

@unsub777 I got the sarcasm mate. I don't understand how nobody else did!

[pettymolly]

@66peacelove Those that didn't get are those that want to do it.

[JonPMA93]

"Lift up the kilt, big hairy pair of balls." - Legend.

[elrenato82]

Indeed virgins are a punishment. "Do it softly, Will it hurt?, Don't make me pregnant... Experienced girls just want to fuck and come the way I like it. Long live horny sluts!

[Festa1983]

Dear suicide bombers after careful revision and an exstensive q and a session we have discovered that the virgins u get when u die are all fugly lesbians who wont even do each other. Hope you enjoy the after life fuckers.

[fifimsp]

"You could be stuck with 53 Duran Duran fans." LOL.



[skywize]

"every time there's a bang the world is a wanker short... fucking idiots... I want to see the instructor... 'right lads, I'm only going to show you this once....' ROFL

[jeseymour]

70 virgins, 50 virgins.....53 virgins, 53 VIRGINS.....proof there's a Committee involved somewhere..." so spot on. telling it like it is.

[givingitashot1]

Good oul Billy always tells it as it is!! A spades a fucking spade!!!

[kkly27]

Flying mince ha ha ha!!!

[madatgravity1984]

Some of his stuff is funny but he takes things too far. Not really my kind of humour!

[thehewguy]

@madatgravity1984 then why are you watching it?

[oneinamillion232]

So, So funny. And so, so true . Well said Billy ! The funniest comedian to ever walk the planet !!

[widebody123]

The sad thing is this probably would never be allowed on TV now, cuz the huggyfluffs might be scared of offending some matt-basher somewhere.

[unsub777]

@widebody123 "mattbasher" hahaha, - I don't even know what the fuck that means, and it's still funny :)

[widebody123]

@unsub777 Devout muslims pray 5 times a day. It involves kneeling down on a prayer matt and bashing your head on it (supposedly in the direction of Mecca).

[GAkopyan31]

Get home, lift the kilt...big hairy pair of balls...what'ya gonna fuckn do??? LMAO I cant  breathe!!

[lisa0070]

he makes me proud tae be scottish.

[Born2009999]

I'm slut man...lol!

[TheMcoleman148]

101 people are Suicide Bombers.

[closedeyesopenmind]

@TheMcoleman148 101 people are fucken pricks

[eulenspiegel74]

"Never trust people who have ever read one fucking book." (Ok I made the middle words up because Billy was intelligible, but there.)

That

Is

Wisdom

right there

[unsub777]

stop it. It's comedy, for fuck sake. what, when you join a religion you have to check your sense of humor at the door?

[unsub777]

he should hae stuck to taking the piss outa christians, buddhists, jains, jews, hindus, etc. All those ones are fine. But it's not fair to make fun of a violent fringe offshoot of islam. He's just offended 1.5 billion musims by doing so and should be ashamed.

[shannonlovesbuble]

@unsub777 so he should offend eveeeery other religion but one?

[BritGirlJay]

@shannonlovesbuble If you know the big Yins work you'll know he isnt a fan of religion and is quite happy to offend all of them; he doesn't play favourites.

[shannonlovesbuble]

@BritGirlJay im not saying its wrong that he insults every religion, im saying its wrong that you said he should insult every religion but one.

[BritGirlJay]

@shannonlovesbuble oh that wasnt me that was someone else - I think he strikes the right balance by lampooning all of them personally lol.

[shannonlovesbuble]

@BritGirlJay coolio, lol.

[unsub777]

@shannonlovesbuble #sarcasm.

[oneinamillion232]

@unsub777 No, he is talking about Islamic Extremists. It needs saying and I applaud him for it.

[lozo49]

@oneinamillion232 hes right about thoes lunatic cunts the SAS do a very good job at shooting the vermin bastards fuck them they wont last five mins against the SAS they are one tough bastards rember that about what he said rember

[gorogawa]

@oneinamillion232 And by the way, Islam completely agrees with all his points.

[thehitchrules]

@gorogawa Good . So it should .

[aeonflux67]

@gorogawa Bullshit. As long as there is a West then they will always believe in it.

[gorogawa]

@aeonflux67 Wrong. As long as the West keeps acting the way it is now, there will always be some people willing to do anything to harm them, Muslim or otherwise. Islam as a religion is against suicide bombing and you can't prove the opposite.

[legandrydirk]

@gorogawa The west got asked into Afghanistan,and then was asked to stay there.As there not ready to keep control there.What you do not hear,is any thanks for the RAF saving Muslims in Kosovo.And Muslim nations in the middle east,have there own version of NATO.And have all the latest weapons.And do nothing to save there fellow Muslims starving in Africa,starving scared and threatened bye the war lords.The west is not helping to for that matter.But if it never helped,they would still bitch off it

[gorogawa]

@legandrydirk Great! So I guess that justifies all the crimes done by "Multi-national troops" in the Middle-East. Way to talk like a typical arrogant western politician!

[legandrydirk]

@gorogawa Again Afghanistan asked Britain in.And would have called Britain cowards if they never went in.Ever hear the old saying?Stuck between a rock and a hard place?

[grimblebrumble17889]

@legandrydirk No they fucking never. Afghanistan was fuck all to do with us. The fucking Americunts dragged us into an unwinnable war that made fuck all difference to us. Its bullshit and Afghans are getting killed for nowt.

[legandrydirk]

@grimblebrumble17889 Afghanistan Gov asked us in,and that is a fact.Who do you think is training there army?And get them in shape to fight the taliban?War in general is bull shit.So is world wide poverty,people dying of malnutrition.But for Islam being a religion of love.I cant see them helping there Muslim brothers in Somalia.If you can point out anything different,on the subject.Then I am all ears about it.But from were I am sitting there both as bad as each other on both sides on the coin.

[grimblebrumble17889]

@legandrydirk Ooohhh the Afghan government. You mean that group of funadmentalist muslims, former taliban commanders, warlords, drug lords, arms dealers and slave traders that the US calls a government and gives billions too in bribes and political favours to make them fight their enemies for them? And what the fuck does somalia have to do with anything? I literally cant follow what your talking 2nd half of that comment about your not making any sense