Have we been here before? - Charlie Brookers Screenwipe

[webyourstuff1]

Charlie B... You can't handle past lives so you make fun of it.

That's like me saying "I've never seen Argentina, so Argentina must be fake."

Not so. I personally have seen proof enough to be more than satisfied I HAVE been here before.

[bazzabaz]

"Jocks dead"

"What happened to Jock?"

"He got killed"

[3v3nm3]

rofl *so much it hurts*

[Substantive64]

3:20 "Oh,don't stop,Charles!Uuhhhhhhhhh"( wank,wank,wank,wank,wank )

[BlackEyeDog012]

hello people what is that theme that starts at about 15 seconds in or so?

THANKS GRAZIE ARIGATO

[supadapag1]

@BlackEyeDog012 'Windmills of your mind' by Noel Harrison and also covered by Dusty Springfield. The lyrics are fabulous.

[Volfmech]

"Have we all been here before? In a past life?" ... No

lol

[MrDg0000]

I was just watching some Charlie Brooker clips on the internet, and while waiting for this video to load, i randomly flicked through the channels on tv. On BBC two, i saw Charlie Brooker's How TV Ruined your Life. I jizzed in my pants.

[WarmasterBane001]

it's ovious they're makign it up! As for Eddie Large there were no battles between the Scots and the English in the 19th century...

[Urielthemagicalcrab]

Is it just me or does John barrowman sound like the Joker? "I can't make them laugh!! Must kill family of trapeize artists and leave son to become Robin."

[AnimalNitrates]

Ingram: "I don't feel in touch with my feminine side at all."

Schofield: -_-

[cyborgtroy]

"But it does make ya think"

So does Left 4 Dead 2.

Just not about anything real, or important.

[123456yum123456]

I have now got a 6th sense about knowing when Charlie's going to start mock wanking.

[Vix847]

That woman's voice is the most annoying thing I've ever heard.

[Isleofskye]

Eddie Large was a Comedian in a past life.

Why he changed careers I'll never know.

[Leekduck]

Your making up for it now, mr. barrowman

[gazereths1982]

Nothing like a nice 'post tug' snooze :)

[bangtokhammer]

An easy target but nonetheless absolutely hilarious!!!

[SaitanMar]

''I CAN'T MAKE THEM LAUGH''

Burst out laughing at that point.

[thomasimon]

@SaitanMar Oh the irony!

[Catherine3234]

10,000 layers of clothing.. :L

[zionravescene]

BARROWMAN! *shakes fist*

[kagasan2008]

That past lives shit is retarded. (Yes, I said "retarded". Ha!)

[TheSumisus]

Women don't wear togas!

[WhiskeyMikeNinerTwo]

@TheSumisus Some Roman women did wear togas. Thing was, they were all hookers...

[TheSumisus]

@WhiskeyMikeNinerTwo I know, now doing Classical Civilisation.

[FeedsNoSliesMusic]

@TheSumisus Not any more, no.

[Tony2826]

Jesus Christ, her voice is annoying.

[intheTea04]

"I don't feel in touch with my feminine side at all" - says the guy in a pink sweater.

[theconster2]

Schofield: 'Have we all been here, in a past life'.

Brooker: '..No'.

[Yammahoo]

"Have we been here before?"

"No."

[MissSheepgobaa]

"Have we all been here before...in a past life???"

"No."

[chocomog35]

@MissSheepgobaa Charlie Brooker is always right ^.^

[the180darts]

Was Barrowman a homosexual in his previous life? Was Eddie Large a big fat cunt?

[Robertsmall893]

lol charlies mock wanking again

[ronniebitten]

Historically, the Jacobite rebellion wasn't really a Scotland v England conflict so much as a civil war in both countries, although it's possible a rank and file soldier would have been unclear on the political complexities. However, a Jacobite soldier would be very unlikely to be called Campbell, because the vast majority of Clan Campbell fought on the side of the Hanoverians.

[JapeUK]

@ronniebitten Your not suggesting Mr. Large was talking bollocks are you?

[ronniebitten]

@JapeUK

You might very well think that. I couldn't possibly comment.

[GoodbyeDragonfly]

Roman women didn't wear togas. Togas were for grown-up Roman men only. Needless to say, considering that any sane person recognizes this as bullshit anyways: FAIL.

[et6yEhzxexzhrz]

@GoodbyeDragonfly Bill Hicks asks us to recognize it's a piece of shit and walk away, thus halting the the pain of agonizing over the illogical.

[syarnold]

The english and scots havent fought a war since the 17th century.

[01CelticFC01]

you mean since the 18th century

[syarnold]

since king james unified the two which was in the 17th century iirc.

[Alba12349]

they fought in the 18th century. trust me on that one.

and king james created a union without asking the people of scotland (who didnt want a union).

[syarnold]

@Alba12349

well as he was the king of scotland at the time.....

[Alba12349]

what do you mean

[itseppie]

That can't be her real voice! And Eddie Large's description of his past life was hilarious.

[Toxineatsyou]

every time i hear that woman's voice it slays me

[mrchoochoohead]

"Have we all been here before, in a past life?"

"No!"

[MrSyrett]

Who are you fighting? - probably the English

Who's the boss? - I dunno.

[FranBMan]

I'm so, so dissapointed in John Barrowman. I'd expect this shit from a sub D-lister like Eddie Large, but Barrowman genuinely seemed quite cool before this bollocks.

[Eldritchard]

'wee jocky campbell' lololol

'jocks dead'

'what happened'

'he got killed' I fell of ma chair

[sandercohen666]

"...probably a man"

lololololololol

[JJGMTS]

"No."

Ahahaha.

[drewtonta]

This all reminds me of Chris Morris's reasons behind his celebrity endorsed nonscence on Brass Eye. If you've got a camera and a lost celebrity in front of it they'll say any old sh*t to get themselves on tele.

[joepickard]

Richard Blackwood, come on down!

"i can smell the keyboard, i feel more suggestible already"

[TheSageOfEarth]

There's a reason it reminds you of that - guess who's a good friend of Chris Morris? I'll give you a hint, his name rhymes with Charlie Brooker.

[rosiemurray]

I CAN'T!....

i can't make them laugh...

[supersonic17uk]

"What are you inside of?"

"Probably a man"

LOL

[theturdreich12]

i cant believe theres a group of people who went to such lengths to create and produce such an amazingly cringeworthy farce like 'have i been here before'.

[certificate18flix]

"I CAN'T MAKE THEM LAUGH!!!"

[certificate18flix]

charlie brooker is a god!

[BadPsychicsTV]

Charlie Brooker is the best

[matmat182]

i agree with that baby

[babyminnow]

A magnificently shit programme, torn to justified shreds by Mr Brooker. I did laugh at his response to the answer, "So....have we all been here.... *before*?"

Charlie:.........No. (Shakes head)

[kirbyfan95]

Women's togas are called stolas. sage for inaccuracy.

[Preistguyproductions]

'Men that have just been tossed off in massage parlours' very nice Charlie!

[andy765gtr]

past lives? those fckn brain dead idiots can hardly cope with current reality let alone a past one.

[agentk1986]

"Oh look the reincarnation process has started already."

[TawpDawg123]

lmao at her voice

[ninjarob01]

Why is Charlie Brooker such a fecking genius? Because he says it like it is...it's all shite! Keep doing what you're doing Charlie. You crack me up!

"I'm inside"

"And what are you inside of?"

"Probably a man!"

[VDGG94ki]

Nice touch of Tangerine Dream's Phaedera!

[flavadaveflynn]

yeah i pissed myself laughing aswell. New series due this Autumn. I'm looking forward already.

[stocktonheath]

Brilliant, just brilliant

[flyingbiscuit]

This a rip off of Past Life Investigations as seen on Oprah

[arejay72]

you funny b'stard Brooker.

[STHFMezza]

'Have we all been here, in a past life?'

"No"

xD This guy is a legend, and analyzes the media fantastically!

[VanguardBeta]

And Eddie Large is fucking stupid:

'Jock's dead'

'What happened to Jock?'

'...got killed...'

[CommissarRed]

Right apart from him being "wee jocky cambell" he couldn't answer a single question without the words "I dun no" crop up.

[lordhaku]

And apart from that, isn't "wee Jocky Campbell" the most stereotypical, made-up-on-the-spot Scottish name you've ever heard? He may as well have called him Angus McDonald or Kilty McTartan.

Bit odd how emotive actors such as John Barrowman have more detailed pasts, while Eddie (an old-school comedian) can't come up with anything.

In short, it's a load of complete and utter bollocks, and thank god Charlie Brooker has the cajones to rip it to bits.

[Brenho]

As a Scot I find it almost insulting that the little fucker came out with that bollocks.

"wee jocky campbell"? Come on.

[Thatsthebadger1]

@VanguardBeta ahahaha got killed!

[VanguardBeta]

That woman's voice is fucking scary

[tahuki]

post tug snooze!! hahahahaha

[Chebmeh]

I love his "...No."

[mepsib]

without a doubt, she has the creepiest voice i have ever heard. she's the female equivalent of herbert from family guy.

[mepsib]

in that case, it's appropriate that she says "are you wearing any clothes?"

[verbalninja]

LOL

[lafillenoir]

"his job is a little like trying to build a cathedral out of peas" rofl!

[carotorresp]

lmao

i just love how he jerk off

[kbtreturns]

"wee jockie campbell" has to be the most stereotypical scottish name i've ever heard!

[Jebsly27]

Screenwipe has to be one of the best and funniest things on TV.

[THEHowellmanIsBack]

I Agree.

[hellomrcatface]

"probably a man"

Charlie says the things that pop into your head but you know you sohuldn't say.

[syrett76]

Post toss snooze - histerical!

[VirgLondon]

yeah, quality

[samplebastard]

I laugh so hard a little bit of wee leaks out

[ratsouffle]

"I can't make them laugh!!!!" Classic.

[updougdown]

Better to not watch TV full stop. Eddy Large eat all the Haggis but who gives a crap.

[Kanblu]

Charlie.. the one true voice

[IIBirdFlewII]

He should have alot more time on bbc to make more of these, brilliant.

[astraman84]

Eddie Large's vague, stereotyped ramblings make it pretty obvious this show is a load of arse, especially the bit where he forgot to play Jock in first person tense and ended up saying "Jocks dead" - You ARE Jock you moron.

Eddie, you may make us laugh (or used to) but you don't have the imagination or intelligence to make a show like this believeable.

[dbriden]

'What are you inside of?'

Probably a man!!! Brilliant. Love screenwipe.

[Psycarne]

"I can't make them laugh".

I did.

[lbjb247]

"With all the clarity of a smudge in a blur factory." Hiliarious.

[Maz1989]

LOL!!!!! probably the english xD

[ckydavies]

I love John Barrowman, I think he's brilliant, but I seriously hope he doesn't believe any of that crap.

[wwwplayradioukdotcom]

He gets paid to believe in it for the show. Wouldn't you?

[ckydavies]

Haha, I personally believe that when we die, that's it. We're just a lump of flesh, slowly getting taken over by rigor mortis. There's no God, no afterlife, no punishment, nothing.

I could give a different impression for a 'documentary' show like this.

[MysteriousBob]

That's depressing. I'm not religious but I pity anyone who lacks a spiritual side and is proud of the fact.

But of course that show is just bullshit. "Who are you fighting?" "Uhh... I dunno... problems the English..." XD

[ckydavies]

I agree with you regarding the show, but not believing in spirituality or anything like that means you have no choice but to live for today, and take responsibility for yourself. It's a dizzying freedom. As Charlie Brooker himself puts it;

"Spirituality is what cretins have place of imagination."

Not calling you a cretin by any means, I just think it's a good quote.

[Dabby2]

Oh, just call him a cretin and be done with it.

[Nickthetoast]

God, those z-list celebs who appeared on that show should be ashamed of themselves. At least make it convincing- "the English, probably"- like a scottish warrior about to go into battle would be unsure and unconcerned about who he was fighting!