Perseverance; Dedicated To My Mother (Unfinished)

[n2cora]

impressive. : )

[Nawledge1]

Tight work, tight work!! GET SIGNED! Hiphop needs this!!

[eboyd32]

lol! i don't know if this will work as a hip hop track, but thanks!

[Doffaldinho]

I never liked poetry before, I checked out your poetry because of your uploading of the Sugarhill Gang. Must say this poem really sticks out to me its fantastic, Well done. 5*

[eboyd32]

well, i'm glad to hear that! thank you very much.

[SkateBritain]

I'm the same i watched sugarhill gang and i've just checked out all you stuff you are really good and i reckon i will subscribe and hope to hear some more stuff from you!

[AbbottSupreme]

ditto TheLastGreatOne!!..A poem has no end, but 2 ones own perception and interpretation..great work eboyd32!!..

[eboyd32]

thank you very much!

[tonnyosmond]

a beautiful poem, but it still needs a better ending .

[eboyd32]

thank you for the help. i will work on that.

[chinita41]

tony thank u for commenting :)

[TheLastGreatOne]

i love it E from one poet to another nice work I wouldn't change anything that's what makes it, poetry is about enter expression and that's not easy to manifest there is no perfect poem you'll always find a way to say something different each time you go back to it you'll never get to the end trust me I know poetry is my life I wouldn't change a thing

[eboyd32]

yeah, i know exactly what you mean. thing is i didn't even edit it once. i just feel that it is an amateur move to leave it unedited. most great writers will tell you that the revision process is the true writing process. then again, there are a few (not many) poets and writers who leave their work untampered with and they become masterpieces. maybe this is one of those poems. that would be nice! BTW you should join our poetry group. (youtube/group/wordsmith).

[chinita41]

Well it came out awesome considering u didn't edit it once. The reason I like it unedited is because it came from your heart the first time around. Once u tamper with it, to me it just doesn't seem as real but try and edit it and see how it comes out. A revision might be just as good but for now i love this one as is. "revision process is the true writing process" I would have thought the other way around. I didn't know that.

[eboyd32]

yeah, the first draft is the writer just playing around and having fun. the second edit is where you say to yourself, "did i actually write that bullshit? that's attrocious!!!" and then they edit it to look and sound more fancy. i think if i do edit it, i will do so to make the meter better. that's probably about it.

[chinita41]

Well that makes sense. Let me know if u do edit it and again i love this.. :)))

[chinita41]

I know you want us to look for whats wrong but i listened to this already like 6 times and i can't find anything wrong with it. I know its not what u wanted to hear but this is just awesome and it touched me.

[eboyd32]

read the response to TheLastGreatOne's comment.

[GiselaNYC1]

very nice poem...thank u 4 sending this 2 me trigger...thank u eboyd 4 posting it on youtube.

[eboyd32]

i'm glad you liked it.

[triggerthesoldier1]

Damn E,I'm speechless fo real

nice job homie,wow!

[GiselaNYC1]

very nice.