The FanFiction Critic, episode 34, "MoonbeamDancer's Story"

[Iceclaw77]

I once had a cat named Freckles since she was black with brown spots.

[MewmewZoey1995]

After hearing the words "Magic" and "Nephlite" I instantly thought this author is making a bad crossover between Winx, Sailor Moon and Cats.

[pivan]

the people who acted in 'cats' must have lost a lot of dignity doing the shows.

[NekuThat1DeadKid]

MoonbeemDancer... that name gives me bad flashbacks of "Starkit's prophecy"

[FullofQuestionsVids]

Ugh, Cats is one of my favorite things to geek out over. I seriously love it, and this fanfiction just hurts all the more because of that. Thanks for ripping it apart for us.

[RawrCutie101]

:/ I like of liked that movie though...

[DeathofPenguins]

I know it's a few months old, but I had to comment.

This made me go and watch Cats, and I realised something. The Victoria in the story matches up with one cat in the show called the same thing (same description in the fic) and "Misto" who is good at magic is spelt the same way you'd shorten... Mr. Mistoffelees.

Struck me as strange. Did she... combine things? Steal names? Whatever. That'd just make it worse.

(Also, I think Jenny is Jennyanydots and Jelly is Jellylorum.)

[LeoLeoWyatt]

This is the BEST video I've watched! Way for the author to mess up canon and mix Cats with Sailor Moon. 2 of my Favorite Things!

[TedieJena531]

Okay, so only three of the kittens (Moonbeam Dancer, Ameria, and Dratini) have names that don't go along with one of their siblings names? Cause besides them it's Jazzmina and Jazzmica, Lil' Vicki and Victoria, and Mysto and Mystica.

[TedieJena531]

Okay, when a teenager goes missing, it's not uncommon for police to tell the parents to wait a little bit before getting worried, because teenagers do sometimes run off to be rebellious, but if your young child goes missing, you should be worried, because even if they ran off, chances are they can't take care of themselves.

[Kiriyamiko]

During the bit about Macavityunder my bed, this was the face i was pulling: ._.

[Sakuraleaf2007]

The author pretty much lifted Nephlite's entire death scene from his death in Sailor Moon. He gets stabbed through the chest saving the girl who's in love with him. The girl tries to pull out the thing in said chest. They say their 'I love you's' and Nephlite turns into dust because that's how all the bad guys die in that show.

[AFanFictionCritic]

@Sakuraleaf2007

OMG, you're right! I can't believe I didn't notice that when I was reading this...

[XxToKyOmEwxX]

Wow, awesome. You like Cats? You get some cool points. I love musical theater.

Aside from that, though, it is really annoying to see Cats so badly butchered here. Even the names sound like they leaped out of some weird fantasy book. It just doesn't fit at all.

[TheTop20freak]

actually i think by jenny they mean jennyanydots and by jelly they mean jellylorum, in the musical i think those are two real characters

[TheTop20freak]

lmao ur funny u remind of my english teacher in middle school she's the best !!!

[TheTop20freak]

and also at 3:00 there's a period after the parentheses mark, incorrect grammar because the continues after that

[TheTop20freak]

i actually like the musical cats its not that bad

[AFanFictionCritic]

@TheTop20freak

Oh, don't get me wrong - "Cats" is one of my favorite musicals. But I will admit that I am utterly confused by it. I like it mostly for sentimental reasons, and I enjoy the soundtrack as well.

[Casandraelf]

methinks the author got the stage show, which had human dancers, mixed up with what elliot most likely imagined when he wrote the original poem, which most likely involved actual cats.

[NekuThat1DeadKid]

Isn't a Dratini a Pokemon? A DRAGON pokemon?

[HyaenusDominae]

Why does MoonBeamDancer only have one child?

[HyaenusDominae]

Wait, Nephlite shimmers as he dies? What, is he becomes one with the force or something?

[HyaenusDominae]

And of course, this sudden knowledge of her true origin makes MoonBeamDancer Chang sides instantly. I hate when this happens, because it makes a character seem stupid and impressionable.

[HyaenusDominae]

Wait a minute. MoonBeamDancer's "signature mark" is "a crescent moon with a star hanging off the tip"? Religious undertones perhaps?

[HyaenusDominae]

Animals in the wild have lots of kids for a reason: Lots of them will die. It's nature's way of planning ahead. So, Grizabella has nine kids and kills herself when one of them disappears, knowing that the others will probably die without her? That's just dumb on the author's part. If she hadn't killed herself and instead tried to stay strong and faithful, that would make Grizabella an admirable mother figure. I mean, what she's basically doing is abandoning her children.

[wolvesandtea]

If Macavity lives under my bed... He got crushed.. My bed sits on a Boxspring on the floor. SO SAD TOO BAD. /brickd'

[AFanFictionCritic]

@wolvesandtea

In your case, he might be living in the closet then.

[wolvesandtea]

@AFanFictionCritic My closet is full of clothes and crap. He'd suffocate.

[MewmewZoey1995]

@AFanFictionCritic Oh I think I forgot to feed Macativity. I havn't feed him in three years!

[Jaws1009]

what was the 2nd clip

[Casandraelf]

this writer apparently thought that the cats were anthros or people wearing cat outfits

[Blacksun388]

And apparently yes, Macavity has the power to levitate.

[Blacksun388]

Feel funny in your pants? I felt the same way for Cassandra. Bombalurina and Demeter are the ones who sing about Macavity.

Wha.. HEY, Macavity fought Munkustrap and Alonzo!

Jelly = Jellylorum, Jenny=Jennyanydots

and I get what you are saying by the not wear jewelery thing but Rumpleteaser does wear a pearl necklace that she stole. She is a 'cat-burglar' after all.

Not that I've seen this show or anything... Noooo sireee!

[Blacksun388]

To clarify the naming thing, the song says that cats have three names. The one they are called by their human owners (Peter, Augustus, Alonzo, James, ect), the one they use among each other (Munkustrap, Quaxo, Coricopat, Jellylorum) and a secret name that is only known to him/herself.

Couple of questions: Grizbella went to what essentially amounts to 'cat heaven' at the end of the show. Why is she still alive?

Dratini? Just why?

Super power kitties? SUE ALERT

[lessergnome]

I have to say, that I love your videos like a fat kid loves chocolate. I cannot get enough, even though they cause me physical pain. Your commentary is great, but when I see what these fanfiction authors pass off as stories, well, a part of me dies.

[FanFicCritic]

The "Dratini" kitten is NAMED AFTER A FUCKING POKEMON! WOW! How unoriginal can this author get?!?!?!?!?

Anyway, great review!

[seikjo]

I don't hear anything?

[triplequeen]

Dratini, I choose you!

[psychowarrior]

the moment one of the characters was named nephlite I knew he was going to die in a shamelessly pathetic attempt at a heartbreaking death. Death (like rape and other horrible things) should only be a plot element if the plot absolutely calls for it. It shouldn't be something you resort to for a cheap thrill.

[WhiteWings930]

I am not familiar with Cats, either the poem or musical. But bad fanfiction is bad fanfiction. Another funny review.

[Kallypso8]

-have been kind of created in the cats fandom. They're sort of a cult following that never existed. And don't get too bothered about the incest thing. Most of the cats are related in someway anyway. And it's still debated wheteher or not Mungojerry and Rumpleteezer are twins, mates or both.

This doesn't excuse the marysueness, lack of description or anything. Really cat's fanfiction is broad as you get. I used to write it myself. I am eternally ashamed.

How do i know this stuff?

Great review!

[Kallypso8]

I actually think I can explain a few of the plot holes you pointed out. This would have taken place before Grizabella's banishment as Victoria and Misto are the kittens. Jenny is Jennyanydots. Jelly is Jellylorum. Bombalurina is not with Macavity so who knows why she's there.. Macavity is implied to have super powers (Like flying and such). Only Rumpleteezer where's jewlrey (Woolsworth pearls) cause she steals it. The non jellicle cats (I dubbed them henchcats in my days in the cats fandom)they-

[MrsCamui]

Can I suggest my own horribly written fanfic that I did years ago and am now ashamed of?

[rosenhacker]

Also, am I the only one who thinks some of the people in the play look like the Thundercats?

[rosenhacker]

Cristabella? Oh god no, it's Silent Hill: Dying Inside! Oh wait, that's Grizabella. Never mind.

[kimarous]

"MoonbeamDancer"? That name doesn't belong in the musical Cats; it belongs in Dwarf Fortress!

[KikiYushima]

DRATINI?!

[kendoness]

Hmm. . . I need another drink. I don't know how you go through all these, honestly. You have a will of steel if you can not only review these yet also go through and correct them as well as film your reactions and be humorous with an air of professionalisim tossed in on top of it all. Kudos to you!

[MoonIMover]

I see you are not longer including episode numbers.

I suppose that makes sense. It's not like your videos have to be watched in chronological order to make sense or something like that.

1:06

We are doomed.

Also, Dratini is a Poke'mon.

[MoonIMover]

I see you are not longer including episode numbers.

I suppose that makes sense. It's not like your videos have to be watched in chronological order to make sense or something like that.

1:06

We are doomed.