High Functioning Autism Aspergers and Relationships

[misspinkpunkykat]

IDK, I never wanted a relationship...even casual friendships bore me. If I can't talk about my obsessions, I feel like I am being suffocated. In a "give and take" relationship, you aparently have to let the other person talk about their intrests. If that's the way it is, I'll take my solitude. I'm an auromatic asexual anyway.

[adultswithautism]

@misspinkpunkykat

Hi sorry for not getting back to you sooner I've been unwell lately. It's good that you can be honest about the things you want and don't want out of life. It seems that even good relationships can be difficult to get through without getting into arguments. Compromise can be especially difficult for many people on the autistic spectrum and pretending to be interested in what the other person is saying can be very boring but I think its good to try. regards

[misspinkpunkykat]

@adultswithautism It's just not worth it for me to have to give up so much of myself to apease someone else. I feel sufocated when I can't focus on my obsessions. I don't really get anything in return from interacting with other people. Why should I have to suffer?

[adultswithautism]

@misspinkpunkykat

The only thing is that sometimes obsessions can leave a person a bit isolated. But I probably feel similar to you in that I haven't felt the need to have friends and didn't see any reason for being with other people unless they were interested in my current obsession if they were not I'd rather just be by myself. I'm not sure I know what relationships are for !!

[misspinkpunkykat]

@adultswithautism What's so wrong with being "isolated"?

[adultswithautism]

@misspinkpunkykat

Nothing really I suppose if it's by choice. But sometimes it may be that people are isolated because they have such difficulty with social situations.

[misspinkpunkykat]

@adultswithautism I wonder if I had difficulty with social situations because I never wanted to be in them to begin with.

[adultswithautism]

@misspinkpunkykat

If you are anything like me then it may be that we tell ourselves we don't want social situations when really it's because we are scared or don't understand them.

[TheLoveOfTheCattle]

i know it is going to sound really odd but do you think some people on the spectrum in a relationship can't help cheating on with who ever they are with even though they love them but they just can't help sleeping with other people and do you think autism is a very male way of thinking

[adultswithautism]

Hi TheLoveOfTheCattle, I dont know of many other people on the autistic spectrum that are in relationships to know if they are likely to "cheat" on their partner. It could possibly be the opposite in that people with high functioning autism/aspergers will stick with one partner as they may not socialise enough to meet anyone else also they may prefer to stay with a situation they feel safe with and not like the uncertainty of having an affair .

Regards

[TheLoveOfTheCattle]

@adultswithautism but they would be worse i wouldnt want hem to stay with me because they have to i would want them to stay with me because they want to

[adultswithautism]

Hi TheLoveOfTheCattle I agree with you but I think lots of people -not just people with autism- stay in relationships because it feels comfortable. Relationships are about lots of things: love, friendship, having someone to share things with.

[TheLoveOfTheCattle]

@adultswithautism i don't think i will have that i don't think people want my love

[adultswithautism]

Hi @TheLoveOfTheCattle You never know what is going to happen in the future. I never got into relationships because I was looking they just sort of happened at the time when I was a bit more socially active. As long as you are trying to get out and meet new people (something I and many other people with autism don't really like to do!) then you may have that chance meeting with someone that could turn into a relationship.

Regards

[TheLoveOfTheCattle]

@adultswithautism that would be

[JoHnNiEGuNnS]

Have you ever heard of vitamin B12 therapy? And if so what do you think about it

[adultswithautism]

Hi JoHnNiEGuNnS good to hear from you. I have no first hand knowledge of whether vitamin B12 directly aids developmental problems or just some of the physical problems that many children with autism have. I do know that diet is an important factor in autistic childrens physical wellbeing and can affect their behaviour.

Many parents of autistic children do their best to avoid sugar for example in their childs diet

Hope this helps

regards