Transgender Inequality

[39564ironman]

great vido thank you for puting it on.

[UpstairsMaid]

i DON'T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE. i DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN PAIN. I'M TIRED OF NOT BEING MYSELF.

THE KNIFE IS OUT AND I'VE SHARPENED IT AND i'M RUNNING THE BATH

FUCK THE LOT OF YOU WHO DIDN'T ACCEPT ME. FUCK THE GOD THAT MADE ME. FUCK THE WORLD THAT DOESN'T WANT ME.

THE FIRST CUT ON MY WRIST STARTLED ME WITH ITS PAIN....NOW I'M READY.

[AnAscendingAngel]

I just don't understand why people care about the sex somebody else is born with. Why do people have to hate others simply because others don't feel comfortable with being male / female?

[poplmon]

I am a future transgender myself and I get discriminated everyday by my family an school. It pisses me off, if they want to hate me, buy a punchbag and draw me on it. My change doesn't affect then at all, just leave me the the hell alone if you don't like my choice, for Gods sake!

[AMFlover]

@poplmon Hey =), I'm transgender, haven't started any transitions yet but soon will as I am waiting for my contact info to see a doc to start on T. are you ftm o mtf? i totally get how you feel when i told my dad and mom my dad blew up at me and my mom was somewhat more understanding but still i got nothing but shame, frustration, and other shit emotions out of it.

[poplmon]

@AMFlover M->F. Im saving up my money for it xD

[AMFlover]

@poplmon awesome =)

[TatMDash]

I hope you are well sis ... It has been FOREVER since we've chatted and I miss you! Tatiyana xox

[UpstairsMaid]

I remember feeling hopeless. I threw myself at a wall over and over and over. I called 911 - my moment of sanity. i was bruised all over and bleeding from multiple contusions. I had put a hook in the ceiling joist and hooked en electrical cable in it and then fell on to of the stairs with the cable in my hands - couldn't go forward - wanted to leave - didn't. still in pain.

[LadySierraSays]

I was good friends with a TG women back in 1993-94 , we were neighbors & talked alot , she was MTF , age 31 , commited suicide one day !!!! very Sad !!!

just could'nt deal with the lonlyness & social isolation & alienation from a hateful transfobic society , all good valid points and stats this video, I hope one day it will become an idology of the past & people will accept it more !!!

[errindoores]

I googled transgendered and suicidal, and this came up.

im Irish,there is help,iv tried, im between a rock and a hard place and i still cant see a way out!

I cant be myself around here!

To be a normal woman,living a normal life is a dream iv prayed for, and no amount of talking to anyone has given me any advantage.

I can change, but my environment wont let me.

being what i am now is a slow death!

Every day i feel the tremours of realisation that death is better than what i endure now!

[sniffbarkbark]

Wow! That's a great video! I'm in tears....

[lizichell]

discrimination is caused by religious intolerance

[mynameisaraw]

@lizichell discrimination is caused by intolerance period, not just religious.

[tin1999]

you are wonderful! I love you just for you being you!

[RainbowPrideGrl]

That was a great video, very informative, keep it up! I don't know who's all on this channel, but here's a book to read:

Stone Butch Blues, by Leslie Feinberg.

It's about this girl who just wants to be loved and accepted and who's trying to find he way in life. She experinces a lot, including discrimination, gender confusion, she's meets a variety of people and learns a lot about how to survive. I'm still reading it and I love it, even though it is at times very sad.

[DunZero]

I have accidently discovered a social network on Youtube where people with hate towards transgendered or gay people collect souls to spread more hate. I've reported this to Youtube Admin and I hope they are going to do research about this because it is becoming threatful and powerful.

[pyromaniacC4]

i just wish i had been born into the right body. i wish my mom would beleive me. i wish i didnt have to spend the rest of my life trying to prove myself. just wish it all away.

[ericaravenwood]

That is a common wish that many of us have. The trouble is it doesn't work. At some point we all have to come to terms with who we are without shame, guilt or denial if we wish to have even a chance at being healthy and happy.

I feel your pain and know all too well how real it is but know that you are special and being transgender gives you a perspective on life that few will ever be blessed enough to share.

[tin1999]

what a very sweet way to look at it! and thanks for this video. It is so sad to see so many have to suffer, because societ and their own family will not accept who they really are.

[UpstairsMaid]

@pyromaniacC4 I was in a great place until last night when I thought someone was my friend who turned out maybe to not be one. the moment I walked in to my local haunt they went to the jukebox and played 'walk on the wild side', 'lola' and then 'dude looks like a lady'. I was underwhelmed and now this morning a little depressed.

[Getsuyobi24]

Erica, you are amazing. You showed amazing strength by sticking through and not killing yourself. People are getting so much strength from your video, I know I am, And I just want to thank you for keeping yourself alive, someone needs to take a stand, there will be justice.

[kroseboyd]

First off I want to say that all your videos are absolutely amazing. I was just curious where you got all your information regarding the suicide rates and the national hate crime map.

[ericaravenwood]

Hi hun. This is the first film I made. It was right after I got out of the hospital after a suicide attempt. I know it says 06 but it was actually 07. I couldn't even get that right at the time. The figures i just got off the internet from a few sources that I don't remember. It was made to help me in my own healing process.

[ericaravenwood]

I'm not sure how acurate the facts are and I'm sure things have changed on that map. The truth is I think that no numbers you find are going to be totally acurate since we are such a closeted people but more than facts I was trying to convey a certain feeling. With all the e-mails I've received for this video I think I was at least successful in that.

Thank you for watching and writing and I'm sorry I couldn't give you a better answer.

[Staccato26]

This made me cry too, such a simple and pure dream to live freely just like normal girls ang guys and be accepted, but the world we live in makes it feel like we are trying to move mountains or walk across the vast expanses of desert, fragile flowers can only handle so much neglect and mistreatment before they begin to wilt and wither.

5/5

[Serephurus]

I'm glad you didn't kill yourself. =) I am anatomically male, bisexual orientation, but have transgender feelings. What confuses me is that in addition to these feelings I sometimes "act" male. But I feel the "acting" just comes from society's pressure. Really I've been taken to counselors and they all say that I seem to be emotionally female.

[ericaravenwood]

Personally I think gender has more to do with psychology than anything physical.

[laurelfan1]

I could not possibly agree more. My family is stuck on the notion that anatomy alone determines a person's gender. That is absolutely nuts! They say that if God wanted ne to be a man, he would have made me a man. That is bullshit!! I know I am a man, no matter what anyone says or thinks. It's my psyche and has nothing to do with my body, which I have completely distanced myself from.

Thank u so much for ur vids! They have helped me to accept myself even more.

[rosietransy]

Next year will be my last year of living if this method does not work. I have a surgery appointment on Dec. to do FFS (facial feminization surgery) Also I am see other phycologist for my multiple problems. If my life does not improve I will be dead on Jan 1/2010. My face is causing me serious problems. I serious injured a stupit male that was going to beat me up just becuse of what I am. This person may not live. I can't be living like this anymore where my life is highly in-danger everyday.

[Crystalj61]

Erica,This made me cry! Sounds like we were both in the same bad place in January 2006? My gun jammed! It was long enough for me to hear a woman on the radio talking about her transition. Gender Dysphoria is something I knew nothing about but at least I now had something to work with! I'm going through the whole Harry Benjamin stuff and hormones. Theres not a day now I am not thankful for life and for people as wonderful as you who take the time to care! Thank You for the lives you will save!

[dollphinrobin]

Wonderful video. Keep the faith - don't play nice, don't back down... until we're not waiting any more.

[ThatEthanGuy]

Thanks so much for making this. Hay everyone! There's lots of groups for transpeople on livejournal. You really aren't alone!

[dragonking17]

I do the hole self mutilation thing. mainly hitting my head against the wall and biting myself. I have suicidal thought but my well to live out ways them. I recently told my parents and when they began talking about ways to try and fix the problem i came so close to cutting myself with a bread knife that i got so scared i did not do it. So i came to terms with my parents decission and hope tht one day they well accept me. i well continue on my path to becoming the girl i know i was meant to be.

[ericaravenwood]

stay strong and know one day for you the time will be right.

[TheDragonGuy]

Suicide attempt by 20-- very accurate for me. I am thankful that, like you, self-preservation kicked in at some point. here's one more transsexual person standing with you

[lykchwuen1991]

Though I don't know you but I just want you to know that I care and will Love you. You're not alone. Be stong cos it's your life you don't have to care of what people think of you. The past remain as past, while the future is up to you to create.

[mosstick]

i know you will never commite suicide, its never worth it.

[mrjfin]

when a person is near death of some painfull disease its good option

[kelligirl2007]

I have felt the sadness and lived by the grace of god. Keep the faith brothers and sisters, hugs kelli

[shhhon]

This is a truly beautiful video. I'm working on one like this connected to the Amethyst Ribbon project. Where did you get your statistics? I've been having a really hard time locating Suicide statistics for Trans vs LGBT in general. Thanks!

[ericaravenwood]

I honestly can't remember. Hell, I can't remember yesterday. lol. I wish I could be more help but maybe I can help look for you. But in truth I am just an artist looking to inspire feeling.

[LisaKylie24]

As one transgender, as one transsexual to another, be all that you can be, be the person that you were meant to be, be a role model for others, but above all, be happy. You deserve. We all deserve it. We can be happy--never let the bigots of this world make you blue. Be inspired by all the kind and loving people in this world. There are many. Peace. Love. Lisa Kylie

[PovertyRoses]

your journey as a trans gender is inspiring! :)

[elfgirlsarah]

I am thankful for you and thankful for this video. I'm sorry you felt so much pain to pick up that gun, and glad that some part of you held on to life.

[angelladee]

I was really moved! well made! Simply;Thank you!Angella Dee

[Devilbabytales]

I'm glad that you're alive.

I can always be a friend of yours.

Please don't hesitate to talk to me.

There is nothing but darkness after the final act. If you can still walk, you can walk away from any situation.

Suicide is NEVER an option. NEVER.

[jordan314]

Wonderful video!

Please get rid of your gun though!

[ericaravenwood]

That paticular gun was taken by the police. Unfortunatly there are others in the house and the temptation has been there. More because I'm bipolar than anything else.

[1desertgirl]

You said it girlfriend, straight up. I considered it several times and still have some rough days. There are a lot of cruel thoughtless people out there. Remember, I am here for you always, we will survive for those that love us. Hugs, Linda

[stellelady]

now that you know, you can survive!  well Done!

[wombatdk]

The often-quoted suicide rates for Trans people seem completely made-up though.

Among the 50 or so T* people I know, there has been one single death due to suicide in 7 years. 31% means about 20 of them should be dead by now.

Btw, 2002 there were 11 suicides per 100,000 people in the US. 11th place for the leading causes of death. Source: National Vital Statistics Reports, 53(5).

A non-representative survey does support the 50% attempted suicides before age 20.

Great video though.

[ericaravenwood]

There is one other point of contention to the video as well. The attept I speak of was Jan. 2007 not 2006 and i had one other attempt since then until I was hospitalized.

The figure I took from the web. I was my concerned with my healing process rather than their source.

Also, I can imagine the numbers may be scewed from different source since there is no correct counting of the transgender population.

I appreciate your response though. thank you.

[wombatdk]

I'm glad you're alive. While I believe in the right to commit suicide, I don't believe in wasting a valuable life.

Besides, if you do ever need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message (or if you want, hang out on susans or tgfluff - lots of supportive shoulders there).

[perdidaenut]

The suicide rate also includes ATTEMPTS. I tried twice. I have 5 trans friends who committed suicide in my city since 1999. One was post-op & completely stealth & beautiful.

I found an article in my country library circa 1993 that said 50% attempted or succeeded by age 30.

I think today the number would be lower, because of the internet. Now, children do not have to rely on misguided binary gender definitions, misquoted scripture, & religious dogma.

The number is still too high.

[wombatdk]

Agreed, the number is still too high.

The difficulties in getting accurate numbers are numerous:

- Most countries do not have any statistics on causes for suicides/attempted suicides

- T* people that are still "in the closet" might misrepresent their reasons for attempting suicides

- Some suicides/attempts might never even get far enough to need medical attention

[ericaann66]

Thanks 4 tha share

[clariffic]

Erica, if you know it by now let me say it- know who you are not what others perceive you to be! You go gurl! I firmly believe God knows all things and He loves His children. No doubt He loves you for knowing truth and because you are his child. And how fortunate for us that you could be brave enough to be who you are, Erica Ravenwood...

May God bless-

Clariffic

[lettheblindlead]

thank you xxx

[hotproffornow]

A poignant, compelling, and provocative piece. Startling statistics that need to be shared. THANK YOU!

[jamienabq]

It Saved My Life Tonight- Thank you

[hotproffornow]

Jamie --- please get some help.