We must save the newspaper also. With the massive export of jobs, and the ever increasing foreclosures, the newspaper may soon be becoming our blankets, in our old car or card board box. You don't need to plug in a newspaper to read it's contents either. Inside an old card board box or old car, you can not plug up a laptop, tablet, or smartphone. We also need the newspapers to be able to stuff it in old shoes we find, that are too big. Newspapers are our future for this 3rd world country.
I graduated high school about a year ago, in my senior year we had to do a mask for my spanish class, and since i get most of my news online, i didn't have any newspaper to do my mask with, it sucked, i had to use paper towels instead. We need printed journalism, for our school projects, for painting houses, smoke bombs, potty training the dog, etc.
"...because stacking is a treasured pastime of Loons, something I've dreamed about my son being able to do once HE loses his mind...". ROFL, classic ONN.
I wish I had the time on my hands to produce this stuff almost nobody sees like the Onion has. So where has the Onion gone? I live in LA and they tried to distribute it here and nobody read it and certainly nobody wanted to pay for it. How exactly does the Onion pay the rent anyway? I lived in Chicago for a short time and even applied for a job at the Onion but I wasn't jewish enough to get on staff. I suppose being funded by Israel front groups helps. Good job! Rothschilds bless you, Hail Satan
u must read this. once u have started there is no turning back. a little 10 year old girl was raped and murderded in 1945. her body was not found until 1947. then a boy last week read this and did not copy and paste this message. the dead girl appeared in his room haunting him and killed him. if you do not copy and paste this onto 10 vidoes in 30 minutes the dead girl will apear in your room tonight and haunt you and kill you. well you better start to copy and paste to be saved
Hilarious and I like how the old black man panelist who's obviously a funny comedic actor is also in the very serious & "touching" Apple Face Time ads for the iPhone 4 lol!! He's got great acting range lol.
@legorok37 Its actually a genuine print based newspaper you know. plus they did have newspapers then "In 1814, The Times (London) acquired a printing press capable of making 1,100 impressions per minute."
baaah, it's not a problem for me... I've been printing out every single blogpost from every single blog in the world for the last 7 years.. I recently built a new barn to have room for it all!
Interested in a career in Journalism? We can offer you the chance to train as a Journalist in the busy office of Brighton's daily newspaper, The Argus. We teach an NCTJ accredited course, and will provide you with the work experience you need to get going in the world of journalism. For more information, google 'Brighton Journalist Works'!
Lol I agree with that lady-- Kindergarden teachers will not be able to use newspaper for art projects and my guinea pigs will have to resort to peeing on junkmail instead of stupid polititions faces.
Y'know, this video is actually stating important uses for the newspaper. Like how WOULD we make paper mache, and how WOULD we keep paint off our floors?
@XVIwayz2die her argument was completely justified. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get paint off the garage floor? and would you go to the store an buy a stack of paper? would you use toilet paper? a towel?
@jacobleb420 come on i understand the hilarious part but he is not a nigger.gosh u can give a compliment by using the word man or guy....you would not call the caucasian guy nigger now would u?...damn.
"I'm JuliNN McKannis filling in for Clifford Banes, who is standing over a bound and gagged man with a shovel, wondering if he ahs the guts to go through with it."
Seriously though... as the child of hoarders I'd like every news press in the world jam and catch fire. Except the Onion's.
Newspapers were the obsession of my dad. He even threw out rare stuff of mine that was in perfect condition such as my Olympia SM3 typewriter and FamiCon to make room for the newspapers he never read, scattered and things he retrieved from the sidewalk.
My mom on the other hand buys bulky appliances she never uses and holds onto things for friends with more space than us.
As soon as I seen the loon pull out a collection of old newspapers, I hit the favorite button and gave it 5 stars. I don't know why that was the click in my mind, but damn...that's awesome. lol.
That's right folks, if you have a cat, have ever ridden Amtrak, or (worst of all) are a scholar of American studies, you are a reclusive, flithy loon.
I don't CARE if you think you're not a recluse just because you ride Amtrak. Real people take the plane and read crappy paperbacks, not the goddam 14 pound bundle of NEWSPAPERS you bring along.
I think it is unlikely that newspapers will be replaced altogether, at least not in the near future. Even if major newspaper companies shut down, local newspapers will probably print for much longer. I live in a small town, population about 3500, and I know that the newspapers here won't shut down soon since they are really the only source of locally relevant news.
That's a good point. Like you I live in a small town of only a few thousand people and there is only one local newspaper. I can't imagine it going away anytime soon.
@rewhing You're correct. This talk about the death of the newspaper because of the internet is merely meaning the death of the national newspaper. Local Newspapers are still safe and will continue doing the same.
This is like the Twilight Zone episode where the banker goes into a bank vault with his lunch and a book to read when an atomic bomb explodes. At least he has his book, but then his glasses break. What is the explanation for some men's attachment to books? It's a peculiar emotional attachment. Is a book simply not merely words on a page? Why should the medium matter?
As far as the book attachment goes... I can't explain it either. I just know that I have it. I don't know why, I just treasure my books. I hate reading e-books.
Maybe it's because we are so used to holding our penises. When we read we want to actually hold onto something.
well, it's nice to be able to lay down rather than sit in a chair at your computer, and of course there's some appeal to an object you can collect and show off rather than a data file. There are several such small but ultimately unimportant perks to books, and that's enough to create attachment when coupled with a lifetime of enjoyment with them
"In order to preserve the loon way of life" lol. I love the Onion but on a serious note, as long as Kindle and other e-books don't take over print books, then I am fine with the getting rid of print media. Then again, not EVERYONE has moved on to computer world and who the hell wants to wake up for breakfast and read their laptop. lol.
There are people that have reduced their lives into such a small footprint they live ina home that is under 100ftsq. That is good I have lived this way it is called cross county trucker. Great way to save money toward the purchase of alife where you own everything can take a job like substitute teacher or bus driver and live like you have all the money you need. Think about it find a property say 1 mile from a wal mart library schools lowes home depot with some eats you really dont need a car.
I have one better there is such a place and property is near the parish seat too Gonzales LA. Huge library internet acess open 6 days a week bike paths walmart maybe 2 miles away Offidepot near plenty of places to eat at even fish. Parks track baseball a person could live there and never need to leave that local if they were healthy and law abiding. Crime isn't bad either Just rains a lot only public transport is greyhound. Baton Rouge has city bus too much crime 4 me.
@lonercarrot you could also count that as a pro, since the story will be updated, so further development can be added or statements proven to be false corrected.
And even is this is misused, the original article is still out there in cache, or in aggregators. The readers are also constantly sharing and checking back on the story, so someone eventually would notice these changes.
And it arguably is a waste, since papers are not kept as long as books, and not everyone recycles their paper.
No. It's one thing to include updates on a story, but to edit an article after it was uploaded is wrong. And it's done a lot. There is also the problem that many people do not have or want to have internet.
@lonercarrot Sure, but that just goes to show, you should not take any reporting as a true fact. I don't know how much this is done, but I would guess the reputable papers. You have a valid point though, with these new technologies, old problems go away, but new ones arise :) You can download or print articles if you want to read them offline, so it's just a case of what you do with it.
As for paper... The paper for newspapers , as well as most of the paper we use, is grown on tree farms. Farmers plant trees, cut them down, and plant more trees. No trees are being lost by printing newspapers. However, if newspapers did not exist, farmers would stop planting trees. Just like farmers would stop growing corn if no one wanted to buy corn anymore.
If you did even a little research, you would know why you are wrong.
They use something similar to a 3 field system; they cut down trees in a certain part of the forest then replant them. While those begin to grow they log another part of the forest and re plant those trees. etc etc.
Trees are a renewable resource. We never have to worry about running out of them. NA's forests have grown in the past 100 years.
@lonercarrot I will say: we have to worry about running out of them so we use this resource carefully and responsibly, but since we use is carefully and responsibly we do not have to paranoid about it. Like that, we would avoid some abuse without going ape sh**
respiration takes glucose, turns it into acid and c02(while producing 2 atp molecules) and then the mitochondria takes oxygen to the acid from fermentation(the part before) and unlocks 34 atp molecules and produces c02 and h2o. in short, it takes oxygen and turns it inot c02.
now photosynthesis (which plants do and a few animals aswell) takes water, co2, and light energy and turns it into glucose and oxygen.
@boomguy12345 Just think about it, if any species were self sufficient then there wouldn't be ecosystems. You're leaving out a bunch of stuff. Where do you think they get the carbon for glucose... certainly not the CO2! A more accurate "in short" of their respiration is that plants take the CO2 that we exhale and use it for glucose. That's where their energy supply is. Even if you want to argue against the nutrient cycle, plants still rely on the nitrogen cycle.
they get the carbon from respiration and the atmosphere, since the world started out as a huge molten pile of rock, there was co2 in the air, and plants were the first organisms. they used photosythesis to take that co2 and turn it into oxygen. they also use respiration to turn that oxygen into co2. everything is explained in more detail in my previous comment. you can look it up dude. some plants do rely on animals more than others, and f=very few can't survive without animals.
You've succesfully remained wrong whilst changing what you've said.
There are lots of planets composed of material similiar to us, as well as other orbiting objects, such as our moon. Notably they do not have a CO2 atmosphere. Geology aside:
It's thought that the organelle in plants that photosynthesis occurs in (Chloroplasts) were actually seperate from other life-forms for quite some time.
If you're going to dumb it down for people, check what you're dumbing down is correct.
uh no, most scientists believe th efirst organisms were autotrophs, which were self suffiecent. they got energy from the environment, using bascically, a form of photosynthesis.
and it does have to do with the way earth was formed because if earth hadnt formed the way it did, the gases that were availible from it would not have resulted in the creation of co2.
if ur going to correct people, make sure what you have is correct
Were you competent on the subject you would know that a huge number of creatures are Autotrophs. There are Phototrophs and Lithiotrophs, only the first utilises photosynthesis, but both are Autotrophic forms of life. Even if you'd been right, Cyanobacteria, the forerunners to Plasmids, are Phototrophs too.
Finally let's have a quick look at Venus, which formed in a very different way to our own planet but still has an atmosphere of CO2 (96% infact)
look dude, i didn't know how much u knew about this. i made a very general statement to a person that was wrong. very general, not designed to be over scientific. as for venus, there are still other compounds shared and not shared between our planet, and that has an effect on evolution. and i know that not all glucose comes from plants.
Were you competent on the subject you would know that a huge number of creatures are Autotrophs. There are Phototrophs and Lithiotrophs, only the first utilises photosynthesis but both are Autotrophic forms of life. Even if you'd been right, Cyanobacteria, the forerunners to Plasmids, are Phototrophs too.
Finally let's have a quick look at Venus, which formed in a very different way to our own planet but still has an atmosphere of CO2 (96% infact)
i wrote that all glucose comes from plants because about 99% of it does. the other 1% is just not relevant and would have just over complicated the point i was trying to make.
You cannot insulate your clothes with animal bones.
mentalmaxkool 1 month ago in playlist Season 1 3
...
ColdCity 2 months ago
ang daming dyaryo halos mapuno na un bahay.
The1211deep 2 months ago
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The1211deep 2 months ago in playlist More videos from TheOnion
I can't believe any of you dumb-asses thought FOX News was real!! Haha
theHaxprocessor 2 months ago
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dangerous trend...
TheYouwontgetit 3 months ago
Print should of been gone along time ago. I demand my star trek future while I'm still alive thank you.
RottenEggCreations 4 months ago in playlist Season 1
I acknowledge the stackability of newspapers.
jaidaphire 4 months ago in playlist Season 1
We must save the newspaper also. With the massive export of jobs, and the ever increasing foreclosures, the newspaper may soon be becoming our blankets, in our old car or card board box. You don't need to plug in a newspaper to read it's contents either. Inside an old card board box or old car, you can not plug up a laptop, tablet, or smartphone. We also need the newspapers to be able to stuff it in old shoes we find, that are too big. Newspapers are our future for this 3rd world country.
UnfoundWay 4 months ago
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Newspapers are not just for old loons. They help feed my pyromania :D
TheUsername1029 4 months ago
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TheUsername1029 4 months ago
Lmfao. "When my son becomes a loon." Classic satire
dhardcastle88 6 months ago
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ManchesterPosters 6 months ago
GODDAMIT I thought that was Morgan Freeman from the future..
Disappoint.. :(
Akatsukik13 6 months ago
lol first timer here... I actually thought it real for the first minute lol.
Oscaroony7 6 months ago 4
@Oscaroony7 It's scary how gullible some people are. They believe anything fox news or onion news tell them.
G3org3Master 6 months ago
I graduated high school about a year ago, in my senior year we had to do a mask for my spanish class, and since i get most of my news online, i didn't have any newspaper to do my mask with, it sucked, i had to use paper towels instead. We need printed journalism, for our school projects, for painting houses, smoke bombs, potty training the dog, etc.
GreeceOTOT 7 months ago 2
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Perhaps The Onion is fake but at least it's more reliable than Fox news.
LegoBitify 7 months ago 17
Great title.
Phauntayne 7 months ago
"I acknowledge the stackability of newspapers"...I died at this part.
macbeasty 8 months ago 4
Is Clifford Banes related to Chuck Norris?
ProNorden 8 months ago 2
'Internet news is unreliable' - True, except for the Onion News Network!
Kamil712 8 months ago 3
this will also effect the pets that fetch the newspapers for their owners every morning,
if this goes away,what will they look forward to in the morning?
kingricky71 9 months ago
@kingricky71 and what about for the dogs that pee and poop on newspapers? i'm sure theis will afect them as well.
GreeceOTOT 7 months ago
love the park where the old guy just starts stacking paper lmao this show should replace real news on tv lmao
KickboxingKangeroo 9 months ago
Clifford Banes is the man
Redlocokixx 9 months ago
Thumbs up if Yogscast brought you here! :D
Tomlikesturtles 9 months ago
How am I gonna paper mache my volcanoes? O_O
housecry 11 months ago 3
I thought Clifford Banes was hung for high treason lol
Whimzy74 11 months ago 3
@Whimzy74 I saved him personally
zosko1 4 months ago
"UR A LOON?"
"YES"
MrWalkthrough89 11 months ago
Wow :D the black women had a sex change :D
MICHAELJONSTON 11 months ago
That guy looks like the rent is to damn high Jimmy McMillan guy
brownbear696969 1 year ago
(In spite of the dig at Amtrak, this is pretty good.)
Cooeeoh7 1 year ago
@Cooeeoh7 ~ have you read 'free lunch"?
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LilyBlabfg 1 year ago
Poor poor 806 lb.s, You will be missed sorely.
PANDANAT0R 1 year ago
@PANDANAT0R
Luckily, the murders occurred before the lunch buffet.
jeb31415 11 months ago
"Shooting spree claims 806 pounds of lives"
So thats two 403 pound persons
MrPivotPie 1 year ago
They're right. What will we use to line our birdcages and make silly Napolean hats with when print media is a dead form of news?
Mxlsptlk 1 year ago
LOL ** Since 1896 **
therealguy419 1 year ago
actually this is kinda true, without news papers, alot of activities will become fucking bothersome.
lusteraliaszero 1 year ago
i LOVE the excuses they make for the abscence of Clifford Banes!!! this one is thus far my favorite. XD
Thumbs up if you agree!
mustanger1966 1 year ago 5
"...because stacking is a treasured pastime of Loons, something I've dreamed about my son being able to do once HE loses his mind...". ROFL, classic ONN.
AlanOfAmine09 1 year ago 20
Yes, My home is a maze of old newspapers stacked from home to ceiling! :D
nefallian702 1 year ago 2
"NO living person has set foot in my house" So dead people have? XD
InsanePickle007 1 year ago 4
I wish I had the time on my hands to produce this stuff almost nobody sees like the Onion has. So where has the Onion gone? I live in LA and they tried to distribute it here and nobody read it and certainly nobody wanted to pay for it. How exactly does the Onion pay the rent anyway? I lived in Chicago for a short time and even applied for a job at the Onion but I wasn't jewish enough to get on staff. I suppose being funded by Israel front groups helps. Good job! Rothschilds bless you, Hail Satan
angstotheclown 1 year ago
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u must read this. once u have started there is no turning back. a little 10 year old girl was raped and murderded in 1945. her body was not found until 1947. then a boy last week read this and did not copy and paste this message. the dead girl appeared in his room haunting him and killed him. if you do not copy and paste this onto 10 vidoes in 30 minutes the dead girl will apear in your room tonight and haunt you and kill you. well you better start to copy and paste to be saved
MrKendtrell 1 year ago
is this news real?
saik0pod 1 year ago
@saik0pod Please don't register to vote. We all really appreciate it.
brianandsharon07 1 year ago 70
"You cannot insulate your clothes with animal bones!"
SubSesheGun 1 year ago 7
@SubSesheGun He's not trying hard enough.
chipmunx 1 year ago
"I am filling in for clifford banes who is standing about a bond and gaged man with a shovel wondering if he has the guts to go through with it."
Didymosrules 1 year ago 8
The old white dude kind of looks like one of the guys from M.A.S.H.
116Bears 1 year ago
I think the Onion lost some of their actors and actresses. It is mostly, 'Today Now'.
scottg4520 1 year ago
Two people is hardly a shooting spree...
falconwind00 1 year ago
He's from the assosiation that stacks things on top of other things!!! XD
Chibikyon13 1 year ago 2
the old loon is a good actor.
I love the way he becomes obsessed with his papers during the talkshow haha
BlessedAgni 1 year ago 4
No paper machet pinatas anymore? Oh no!
elteescat 1 year ago 2
"...something I've dreamed about my son being able to do when he loses his mind"
kommonzenze 1 year ago 2
Hilarious and I like how the old black man panelist who's obviously a funny comedic actor is also in the very serious & "touching" Apple Face Time ads for the iPhone 4 lol!! He's got great acting range lol.
DrBrule 1 year ago
Julianna McKannis is so sexy
jerrylambert 1 year ago
is this real...
hector60623 1 year ago
@hector60623 no... It the onion
angelbabe415 1 year ago
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/watch?v=WUa6CBR5fH4
Greece on war - Journalism & ethics!
The Guardian paradox:
how does a lie, give rise to a truth
ypruss 1 year ago
journalism is dead.
fuguffuu 1 year ago
YOU CAN NOT INSOLATE YOUR CLOTHES WITH ANIMAL BONES!
YesIm10 1 year ago 2
I love the Clifford Banes bits. :D
RomanKnight990 1 year ago
@RomanKnight990 Haha, yeah their awesome!
isair81 1 year ago
"In The Know" is my favorite show in the onion.
kratex1 1 year ago
"You cannot insulate your clothes with animal bones"
Spoken the truth
dangonchi 1 year ago 5
ROFL, People who think the onion is real must believe there were TV's in the 1890's xD. Look at 0:01
legorok37 1 year ago
@legorok37 Its actually a genuine print based newspaper you know. plus they did have newspapers then "In 1814, The Times (London) acquired a printing press capable of making 1,100 impressions per minute."
mandowarrior123 1 year ago
baaah, it's not a problem for me... I've been printing out every single blogpost from every single blog in the world for the last 7 years.. I recently built a new barn to have room for it all!
ToshiroDK 1 year ago
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Interested in a career in Journalism? We can offer you the chance to train as a Journalist in the busy office of Brighton's daily newspaper, The Argus. We teach an NCTJ accredited course, and will provide you with the work experience you need to get going in the world of journalism. For more information, google 'Brighton Journalist Works'!
JournalistWorks 1 year ago
@JournalistWorks do you seriously not have a better place to advertise?
bbphnix 1 year ago
Lol I agree with that lady-- Kindergarden teachers will not be able to use newspaper for art projects and my guinea pigs will have to resort to peeing on junkmail instead of stupid polititions faces.
singlaprety12 1 year ago 4
I <3 Onion take serious issues and makes them interesting.
ShimmyKid 1 year ago
@ivstuntman Im sure it is. But its just shitty :S America can at least invent something like that and stop wasting so many trees.
XVIwayz2die 1 year ago
Y'know, this video is actually stating important uses for the newspaper. Like how WOULD we make paper mache, and how WOULD we keep paint off our floors?
abyssion8 1 year ago 2
"You're a loon?"
"Yes!"
colafroggy 1 year ago
The obese female has a really shitty argument for keeping newspapers around. Just a heads up if you watch.
XVIwayz2die 1 year ago
@XVIwayz2die her argument was completely justified. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get paint off the garage floor? and would you go to the store an buy a stack of paper? would you use toilet paper? a towel?
ivstuntman 1 year ago
I love the in the know series!!!! They;re my favorite!!!
calenderhappy12 1 year ago
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That crazy old nigger loon was hilarious!
jacobleb420 1 year ago
@jacobleb420 His house is a maze!
GhostDistortion 1 year ago
@GhostDistortion ...of old newspapers stacked from floor to ceiling..
thepaesesai 1 year ago
@that was totally unnecessary dude.
thepaesesai 1 year ago
@thepaesesai
You're totally unnecessary dude! I gave him a compliment!
jacobleb420 1 year ago
@jacobleb420 come on i understand the hilarious part but he is not a nigger.gosh u can give a compliment by using the word man or guy....you would not call the caucasian guy nigger now would u?...damn.
thepaesesai 1 year ago
"Something I've dreamed about my son being able to do when he loses his mind." Haha, his look!
adrianedawndawn 1 year ago 6
I love how positive they are toward loons and "the loon way of lfe."
zerosysko 1 year ago
Clifford Banes seems like a total badass
soccer2248 1 year ago 131
@soccer2248 He is a badass
zaksmith104 1 year ago
@soccer2248 I've been going through each of these to figure out why Clifford Banes needs someone to fill in for him each time.
Dglenn11 7 months ago
I like newspapers, they feed my pyromania.
TraceMyVeinsWithPen 1 year ago 2
"speaking as a loon myself..."
"Still ahead: Shooting spree claims 806 pounds of lives"
frankcastle139 1 year ago
To hellmelon and boomguy, let me dumb it down for boyh of you: Lick my hairy nutsak :P
lemmegitsomuhthat 1 year ago
They use an Ipad or Iphone or laptop with mobile broadband duh.
ToxicOdiousOne 1 year ago
robert? robert? *staking newspaper* i lmao
monkeynut000 1 year ago
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Copy and paste if you HATE the new YouTube layout.
CHANGE IT BACK YOUTUBE
kiminokami 1 year ago
This is better then faux and CNN
MrNightOwl88 1 year ago
"shooting spree claims 806 pounds of life"
... so many pounds, lost forever :(
aserneseseals 1 year ago 3
A sad day indeed.
andyllamanipl 1 year ago
this is the best! of the"In the Know " series! i love it.
goldenxii 1 year ago
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Copy and paste if you HATE the new YouTube layout.
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Ferrous3oh 1 year ago
"I'm JuliNN McKannis filling in for Clifford Banes, who is standing over a bound and gagged man with a shovel, wondering if he ahs the guts to go through with it."
AshyenMagnerus 1 year ago
Seriously though... as the child of hoarders I'd like every news press in the world jam and catch fire. Except the Onion's.
Newspapers were the obsession of my dad. He even threw out rare stuff of mine that was in perfect condition such as my Olympia SM3 typewriter and FamiCon to make room for the newspapers he never read, scattered and things he retrieved from the sidewalk.
My mom on the other hand buys bulky appliances she never uses and holds onto things for friends with more space than us.
DoctorWeeTodd 1 year ago
lol its in the know with clifford banes but clifford baynes is never on lol
oddvidios 1 year ago
As soon as I seen the loon pull out a collection of old newspapers, I hit the favorite button and gave it 5 stars. I don't know why that was the click in my mind, but damn...that's awesome. lol.
TheDeathOfChaos 1 year ago 3
That's right folks, if you have a cat, have ever ridden Amtrak, or (worst of all) are a scholar of American studies, you are a reclusive, flithy loon.
I don't CARE if you think you're not a recluse just because you ride Amtrak. Real people take the plane and read crappy paperbacks, not the goddam 14 pound bundle of NEWSPAPERS you bring along.
RatPfink66 1 year ago
Dr. Woodson is an amazing new character!
hahayouarefunny 1 year ago 4
I'd like to see him return.
DoctorWeeTodd 1 year ago
"You cannot insulate your clothes with animal bones!"
soccdood 1 year ago 6
Puppies love to shit on newspapers! What about the poor puppies?
soundsliketruck 1 year ago 5
This is something Obama should be looking into!!1
Milubbles 1 year ago 3
I can't wait till casualties start being reported by the bushel!
variousletters 1 year ago 2
Amtrak is just for loons! lol
sgprailfan 1 year ago
Hehehe... I bask in the warm comfort of the flame war caused by newspapers.
133713Dude 1 year ago 3
@133713Dude Oh those flammable newspapers.
hahayouarefunny 1 year ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
You Americans don't (can't?) read anyway, so what difference is that gonna make?
grosquipue 1 year ago
I'm a loon :) And I subscribed :) And rated 5 stars :)
MrsMeiwes 1 year ago
"Besides the internet news is completely unreliable."
Not so with The Onion!
googleconspiracy 1 year ago 111
@googleconspiracy The Onion is the most reliable news on the internet!
awdrifter3 1 year ago 4
the black guy delivers his lines so perfectly. I hope he's in more of these
lonercarrot 1 year ago 80
Stack HHDs
MacGyverinSpace 1 year ago
This makes me laugh every time!
curefantastic 1 year ago 4
we need newspapers. it makes great camp fires in the living room.
Lightstrikers 1 year ago 3
I think it is unlikely that newspapers will be replaced altogether, at least not in the near future. Even if major newspaper companies shut down, local newspapers will probably print for much longer. I live in a small town, population about 3500, and I know that the newspapers here won't shut down soon since they are really the only source of locally relevant news.
rewhing 1 year ago
That's a good point. Like you I live in a small town of only a few thousand people and there is only one local newspaper. I can't imagine it going away anytime soon.
ZabHazard 1 year ago
@rewhing You're correct. This talk about the death of the newspaper because of the internet is merely meaning the death of the national newspaper. Local Newspapers are still safe and will continue doing the same.
bobby123greenhalgh 1 year ago
briliant love the show .
theshowman007 1 year ago
Hahahah I laughed so hard when he kept pulling newspapers out of nowhere hahahahaha
drexeldrax45 1 year ago
HAHA
cedarpose 1 year ago
rofl "when he looses his mind"
HumbleHermit7 1 year ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
The Onion is too self-aware to be funny.
Nicholasmegalis 1 year ago
I hoard animal bones.
2100km 1 year ago
without newspapers, how will we ever train our puppies not to crap all over the floor?
pete5668 1 year ago 19
Actually, that's a very good point.
Lemit 1 year ago
This is like the Twilight Zone episode where the banker goes into a bank vault with his lunch and a book to read when an atomic bomb explodes. At least he has his book, but then his glasses break. What is the explanation for some men's attachment to books? It's a peculiar emotional attachment. Is a book simply not merely words on a page? Why should the medium matter?
ToxicOdiousOne 1 year ago
@ToxicOdiousOne I remember that episode.
As far as the book attachment goes... I can't explain it either. I just know that I have it. I don't know why, I just treasure my books. I hate reading e-books.
Maybe it's because we are so used to holding our penises. When we read we want to actually hold onto something.
2100km 1 year ago
@ToxicOdiousOne
well, it's nice to be able to lay down rather than sit in a chair at your computer, and of course there's some appeal to an object you can collect and show off rather than a data file. There are several such small but ultimately unimportant perks to books, and that's enough to create attachment when coupled with a lifetime of enjoyment with them
JustThink00 1 year ago
Who the fuck even reads a newspaper today except for fossils?
blackdragon767 1 year ago
"In order to preserve the loon way of life" lol. I love the Onion but on a serious note, as long as Kindle and other e-books don't take over print books, then I am fine with the getting rid of print media. Then again, not EVERYONE has moved on to computer world and who the hell wants to wake up for breakfast and read their laptop. lol.
votumseparatum1 1 year ago
OT: This video was hilarious xD
Escmymind 1 year ago
There are people that have reduced their lives into such a small footprint they live ina home that is under 100ftsq. That is good I have lived this way it is called cross county trucker. Great way to save money toward the purchase of alife where you own everything can take a job like substitute teacher or bus driver and live like you have all the money you need. Think about it find a property say 1 mile from a wal mart library schools lowes home depot with some eats you really dont need a car.
cdltpx 1 year ago
I have one better there is such a place and property is near the parish seat too Gonzales LA. Huge library internet acess open 6 days a week bike paths walmart maybe 2 miles away Offidepot near plenty of places to eat at even fish. Parks track baseball a person could live there and never need to leave that local if they were healthy and law abiding. Crime isn't bad either Just rains a lot only public transport is greyhound. Baton Rouge has city bus too much crime 4 me.
cdltpx 1 year ago
You cannot insulate your clothes with animal bones!
humanice2 1 year ago 5
the problem with websites is they can edit the news after they uplaod it, even alter is more than a day later. that happens all the time.
and no one has to worry about wasting trees, what a retarded argument
lonercarrot 1 year ago
@lonercarrot you could also count that as a pro, since the story will be updated, so further development can be added or statements proven to be false corrected.
And even is this is misused, the original article is still out there in cache, or in aggregators. The readers are also constantly sharing and checking back on the story, so someone eventually would notice these changes.
And it arguably is a waste, since papers are not kept as long as books, and not everyone recycles their paper.
Escmymind 1 year ago
No. It's one thing to include updates on a story, but to edit an article after it was uploaded is wrong. And it's done a lot. There is also the problem that many people do not have or want to have internet.
lonercarrot 1 year ago
@lonercarrot Sure, but that just goes to show, you should not take any reporting as a true fact. I don't know how much this is done, but I would guess the reputable papers. You have a valid point though, with these new technologies, old problems go away, but new ones arise :) You can download or print articles if you want to read them offline, so it's just a case of what you do with it.
Escmymind 1 year ago
@Escmymind I meant to say: I would guess the reputable paper could even do it
Escmymind 1 year ago
As for paper... The paper for newspapers , as well as most of the paper we use, is grown on tree farms. Farmers plant trees, cut them down, and plant more trees. No trees are being lost by printing newspapers. However, if newspapers did not exist, farmers would stop planting trees. Just like farmers would stop growing corn if no one wanted to buy corn anymore.
lonercarrot 1 year ago
yes, becuase chopping down a tree takes as long as it takes for a tree to grow
boomguy12345 1 year ago
If you did even a little research, you would know why you are wrong.
They use something similar to a 3 field system; they cut down trees in a certain part of the forest then replant them. While those begin to grow they log another part of the forest and re plant those trees. etc etc.
Trees are a renewable resource. We never have to worry about running out of them. NA's forests have grown in the past 100 years.
lonercarrot 1 year ago
@lonercarrot I will say: we have to worry about running out of them so we use this resource carefully and responsibly, but since we use is carefully and responsibly we do not have to paranoid about it. Like that, we would avoid some abuse without going ape sh**
therrydicule 1 year ago
Dude, we are only causing them harm.
Plants can live without animals, but animals can't live without plants.
boomguy12345 1 year ago
@boomguy12345 Plants need nutrients in the ground, and creatures that can exhale CO2.
DrPhr0 1 year ago
@DrPhr0
uh no.
all living things perform respiration.
respiration takes glucose, turns it into acid and c02(while producing 2 atp molecules) and then the mitochondria takes oxygen to the acid from fermentation(the part before) and unlocks 34 atp molecules and produces c02 and h2o. in short, it takes oxygen and turns it inot c02.
now photosynthesis (which plants do and a few animals aswell) takes water, co2, and light energy and turns it into glucose and oxygen.
plants do both respiration
boomguy12345 1 year ago
@boomguy12345 Just think about it, if any species were self sufficient then there wouldn't be ecosystems. You're leaving out a bunch of stuff. Where do you think they get the carbon for glucose... certainly not the CO2! A more accurate "in short" of their respiration is that plants take the CO2 that we exhale and use it for glucose. That's where their energy supply is. Even if you want to argue against the nutrient cycle, plants still rely on the nitrogen cycle.
DrPhr0 1 year ago
@DrPhr0
they get the carbon from respiration and the atmosphere, since the world started out as a huge molten pile of rock, there was co2 in the air, and plants were the first organisms. they used photosythesis to take that co2 and turn it into oxygen. they also use respiration to turn that oxygen into co2. everything is explained in more detail in my previous comment. you can look it up dude. some plants do rely on animals more than others, and f=very few can't survive without animals.
boomguy12345 1 year ago
No offence but what the fuck?
The first organisms were not plants.
The fact that our planet began as a moltern ball of rock doesn't mean that we have to have CO2.
What with your bog-standard rock being a sillicate and all...
hellmelon666 1 year ago
@hellmelon666
the first organsims were sinle celluar organisms that used photosynthesis to get energy.
and that with the molten ball of rock, it actually does have something to do with the forming of the c02, but yes, u are mostly correct.
im just dumbing it down for the average youtuber
boomguy12345 1 year ago
@boomguy12345
You've succesfully remained wrong whilst changing what you've said.
There are lots of planets composed of material similiar to us, as well as other orbiting objects, such as our moon. Notably they do not have a CO2 atmosphere. Geology aside:
It's thought that the organelle in plants that photosynthesis occurs in (Chloroplasts) were actually seperate from other life-forms for quite some time.
If you're going to dumb it down for people, check what you're dumbing down is correct.
hellmelon666 1 year ago
@hellmelon666
uh no, most scientists believe th efirst organisms were autotrophs, which were self suffiecent. they got energy from the environment, using bascically, a form of photosynthesis.
and it does have to do with the way earth was formed because if earth hadnt formed the way it did, the gases that were availible from it would not have resulted in the creation of co2.
if ur going to correct people, make sure what you have is correct
boomguy12345 1 year ago
@boomguy12345
Wrong.
Were you competent on the subject you would know that a huge number of creatures are Autotrophs. There are Phototrophs and Lithiotrophs, only the first utilises photosynthesis, but both are Autotrophic forms of life. Even if you'd been right, Cyanobacteria, the forerunners to Plasmids, are Phototrophs too.
Finally let's have a quick look at Venus, which formed in a very different way to our own planet but still has an atmosphere of CO2 (96% infact)
So you're still wrong.
hellmelon666 1 year ago
@hellmelon666
look dude, i didn't know how much u knew about this. i made a very general statement to a person that was wrong. very general, not designed to be over scientific. as for venus, there are still other compounds shared and not shared between our planet, and that has an effect on evolution. and i know that not all glucose comes from plants.
boomguy12345 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@boomguy12345
Wrong.
Were you competent on the subject you would know that a huge number of creatures are Autotrophs. There are Phototrophs and Lithiotrophs, only the first utilises photosynthesis but both are Autotrophic forms of life. Even if you'd been right, Cyanobacteria, the forerunners to Plasmids, are Phototrophs too.
Finally let's have a quick look at Venus, which formed in a very different way to our own planet but still has an atmosphere of CO2 (96% infact)
So you're still wrong.
hellmelon666 1 year ago
@boomguy12345
Read "Plasmids" as "Plastids".
I got excited and made a typing error.
hellmelon666 1 year ago
@hellmelon666
i wrote that all glucose comes from plants because about 99% of it does. the other 1% is just not relevant and would have just over complicated the point i was trying to make.
boomguy12345 1 year ago
@boomguy12345 both plants and animals depend on micro organisms and fungi,not to mention a source of water and sunlight.
pdormody 1 year ago